Juliabam Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 machine returns a fart that almost blew Freswiths head off... Inserts screw that fell off Freswiths head... Link to comment
freswith Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 Receives a tune-up kit for Julia's wheelchair which includes having her bored and stroked, fitted with a cross-flow head, a close-ratio box and finally some innies and outies. She's now a fast woman. Insert speedcam photo of Julia doing 100mph in her wheelchair. Link to comment
Frogboy Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 Recieves 12 penalty points, a six month ban and heavily inflated insurance premiums. Inserts crummy no win, no fee lawyer who defended Julia in court Link to comment
Juliabam Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 and you recieve a sentence of 12 to 16 years in prison for something you didn't do... (See I told you.. You should have stomped Freswith while you had the chance, now you never get to do it because he may have died from natural causes before you're set free) Inserts tic tac toe game for frogboy to play with while in the prison Link to comment
freswith Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 Machine issues file with a cake concealed inside it. Inserts set of bagpipes. Link to comment
Juliabam Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 machine gives Freswith a blowjob inserts mint Link to comment
freswith Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 Machine issues sage, thyme, parsley & marjoram. Insert bowl of petunias Link to comment
Bettypooh Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 Gets a Black-Eyed Susan (and arrested for hitting her ) Inserts 128 pages of documents related to the case Link to comment
Juliabam Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 Machine roars and rumbles and bursts out millions of pieces of confetti before it yells, "Case dismissed" inserts picture of Freswith teaching Frogboy to ride a bike Link to comment
freswith Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 Machine issues picture of Gordon Brown wearing a nappy and riding a rocking horse. Picture on Back says "Property of P. Mandelson: Pension Fund" Insert expenses claim for second home in St Tropez. Link to comment
Bettypooh Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 Gets a front row seat at the SC USA Governor's Impeachment trial Inserts 1 used (cheating lying dishonest philandering stealing) SC Governor Link to comment
DL_DB Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 Returns a compact with the devil. Insert a quill pen loaded with virgin's blood. Link to comment
Juliabam Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 Returns a compact with the devil. Insert a quill pen loaded with virgin's blood. Returns 1 used but now very excited (cheating lying dishonest philandering stealing) SC Governor Inserts Freswith and a fly and presses the teleport now button Link to comment
freswith Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 Freswith gets a free holiday back on Arcturus III complete with Christmas Dinner. Inserts 5-gallon drum of whitewash stolen from the Iraq War Enquiry. Link to comment
DL_DB Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 Returns a Tom Sawyer novel. Insert a battered copy of The Tao Of Pooh. Link to comment
Juliabam Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 Machine returns a hundred year old worn out teddy bear that farts everytime you turn it upside down inserts a lacepanty and a do it yourself imagination kit Link to comment
freswith Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 Back comes a pair of Soviet T95 Women's Drawers, Armoured, Our Glorious Women Marines for the use of, and a copy of Lenin's Manual on Chastity in The Service of The Soviet State. Insert a tin-opener Link to comment
Juliabam Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 machine initiates spam sequence and overflows freswiths mailbox with offers on cheap viagra, penis enlargement herbal kits, breast enlarging pumps, and offers on 25 different creditcards all valid in usa only, and just for a limited period. inserts butcher knife and watermelon Link to comment
freswith Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 Machine throws out butcher with a knife in his back, followed by a stream of high-velocity watermelon seeds. Insert Miss Marple. Link to comment
Juliabam Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 machine sends angry old lady chasing freswith down the street! insert black dress, high heels, and an invitation to freswiths 70 years birthday party Link to comment
freswith Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 Machine issues Tuxedo, bow tie, and invitation to Julia's fiftieth birthday party - next week. Insert brass-bound uncle frightener in 3ft lengths. Link to comment
Juliabam Posted November 29, 2009 Share Posted November 29, 2009 Machine hugs freswith and says, there there, you shouldnt be THAT frightened it was only a joke inserts a pamphlet from Weight Watchers with instructions on keeping a size 38 Machine issues Tuxedo, bow tie, and invitation to Julia's fiftieth birthday party - next week. You know, the internet allways adds 10 years to a girls age, so I am infact only 20... Link to comment
freswith Posted November 29, 2009 Share Posted November 29, 2009 Machine grunts, growls and issues note saying it is not obese, merely healthy, and will not be giving up it's beloved 10w 30 engine oil or its 415v 50Hz AC Insert 5 litres of 10w 30 and a new filter. (Actually I'm only 20, but with forty years of experience.) Link to comment
Juliabam Posted November 29, 2009 Share Posted November 29, 2009 machine squirts oil all over freswith, and gives him an application form for standins at the grease musical! inserts instruction manual on how to avoid future mistakes that can have ill effects on other persons, hoping machine will take back the application form that it gave to freswith! Link to comment
freswith Posted November 29, 2009 Share Posted November 29, 2009 Machine emits stream of radioactive particles and postcard of Three Mile Island. Insert application form correctly filled in with my real name: Caractacus Bracegirdle IV. (That's a direct translation of the Arcturan) Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now