My Gf And I, And Our Struggle

[DDude25]

my six month pregnant gf and i have been together for over two years now. we have a great relationship etc. I am a complete dominant person sexually. she isn't as sexual as i am. for me, my dl stems from wanting to 'punish' or force a woman into diapers for a short period of time, and she may or may not have to use them. and pacifiers some what excite me sometimes.

for me, the diaper thing is no different then handcuffs, or other sexually supporting items that are for dominant people.

she doesn't like my fantasy, it upsets her actually. and we plan to be married next year, that means no more sexual trying with anyone else.

She wishes i wouldn't even mention it, she has tried it before, didn't like it...and wants me to not mention it. So I have been respsectful to her for a long time, we also have normal sex...it isn't my only turn on, but it's my biggest one.

I have over time, gotten girls to make attempts with this for me, I have very little trouble getting women, and I still haven't gotten to fully explore my fantasy.

I need help on being respectful to her but still getting the sexual thrills i strive for...any advice?

she knows about it, just doesn't want to be a part of it...

[PampersPete]

Best advice I can give to a married man:CHEAT ON HER! Seriously. If you've talked it over,she still won't do it,you've made the mistake of getting married,still love her but she won't take care of you in the bedroom,CHEAT ON HER!

[Guest aussieabdl]

I disagree. I don't think it's okay to cheat, it really is unnecessary, and just ends up hurting everyone more than actually breaking up with them.

Here's the way I see it (and this is just my opinion, you don't have to listen to me if you don't want to):

Your gf obviously doesn't want to be a part of this fantasy. You could continuously harrass her about it, I guess, but that probably wouldn't end well... she'd either give in and give you what you want, which may be good for you but not so much for her, or she'll get really upset and your relationship may get into some serious danger.. So the first thing I suggest is maybe coming to a compromise with each other. "If you indulge my fantasy, then I'll indulge whatever fantasy you want." Or if you can think of another way to do it, then that's good. That'd be the easiest way to do things, as it fulfills your desire, and you're still treating her with respect as you'd be doing something that she wants, that you may or may not want to do.

If you can't come to a compromise, then you have a very important question to ask yourself: What's the most important thing to you? What do you love more, being with, and respecting, your gf, or your love of forcing girls into diapers?

As I said, I don't think it's okay to cheat. Her purpose in life isn't to please you, and she has every right to say no, and when she does she doesn't deserve the emotional stress and pain of being cheated on. Even if you do hide it well, it's a scummy thing to do. If your relationship with her is more important than your love for diapers, then you stay with her, and give up your diaper loving desires. If your love for diapers is more important than your relationship (and hey, no judgement here if it is), then the only thing you can do is end your relationship with her. If you can't have one with the other, the only thing you can do is choose which one you want.

The biggest complications with this is, firstly, the fact that you're getting married to her, and secondly, the fact that she's currently carrying your child. But if, even with these factors, you find you still can't live without your diaper loving desires, the only thing you can do aside from cheating on her (which would be very low, and I do not recommend or condone it), would be to actually choose your diaper desires over her, otherwise you will probably end up cheating on her.

Either way, it's up to you. If you want to cheat, go ahead, but I think that's about as low as a person can go. As I said, best solution would be to come up with a compromise. Just try to be careful... she obviously doesn't like it when you bring up the subject, and randomly saying to her "You know... if you indulge my diaper loving fantasies, I will indulge whatever fantasy you want" out of the blue will probably result in her saying no. Instead, approach the topic in a more... vague and gentler way.

[Bettypooh]

I disagree. I don't think it's okay to cheat, it really is unnecessary, and just ends up hurting everyone more than actually breaking up with them.

I agree with aussieabdl completely. Marriage is a sacred trust, your deepest and truest promise, and if you're going to cheat on her it's going to kill something- the relationship, your soul, the peace between you two, something....it always does If you're know you're going to cheat then you need to tell your partner that before you make your vows so they can walk away from a liar if they want to But now you've got her pregnant so you owe her the support it demands whether you like it or not. Yep, being adult enough to have sex means giving up your right to your own happiness if a pregnancy results- the focus shifts from the couple to the child- there's good in being a 'grown-up' but there's things that aren't so good too.

Here's the way I see it (and this is just my opinion, you don't have to listen to me if you don't want to): Your gf obviously doesn't want to be a part of this fantasy. You could continuously harrass her about it, I guess, but that probably wouldn't end well... she'd either give in and give you what you want, which may be good for you but not so much for her, or she'll get really upset and your relationship may get into some serious danger..

I'd say it's more likely to cause discontent, friction, and a break-up in the end Even if she gives in (the stupid idea that most men think is their right to push for and that many women accede to thinking it will make him happy which will make things better)she won't be happy about it at some point and she will put on the brakes which will make you unhappy from that point forward for the rest of your married lives

So the first thing I suggest is maybe coming to a compromise with each other. "If you indulge my fantasy, then I'll indulge whatever fantasy you want." Or if you can think of another way to do it, then that's good.

Here's an idea: Since she doesn't want to play along, maybe you can get her to let you have your fantasy with another woman with her there- she doesn't have to watch if she doesn't want to- as long as the sex part remains between you and your wife. She may even let you go further I knew a beautiful girl who wouldn't give her husband BJ's, she thought it was nasty, so she gave him permission to go out for them provided he never did anything else with another woman. Long story short the fool man cheated, got caught, and lost the woman of every man's dreams because of that Nope, cheating is a bad idea. I wish I knew where she was now so I could have a chance at getting her into my life.

If you can't come to a compromise, then you have a very important question to ask yourself: What's the most important thing to you? What do you love more, being with, and respecting, your gf, or your love of forcing girls into diapers?

And one more thing- you'd darn well better be totally honest with yourself about this part. You'd better realize that this kind of thing never goes away and unless you're super-strong in your heart's desire to keep from doing it for her sake it's going to be in your future, somewhere and somehow. You're not in control and that's a mistake almost every man makes in his thinking. You're being controlled by two dangling sensitive parts of your body which will make you think you're happy when you please them, only to fade away when you're old leaving you with nothing because you gave into them instead of using your brain to see further down the road of life

Fantasies and dreams are fun but you can't possibly live them all out and sometimes when you do they turn out to be something entirely different than you thought they would be Everyone wants the intensity of sex that would be found in a rape but nobody wants to be beaten up, have a gun shoved in their face with a lunatic on the trigger, or tortured and beaten to death afterwards- and that goes along with many rapes Guys who let their dangling parts make the decisions are going to suffer because of that. Girls who think giving in will make their guy happy don't understand that it only makes the guy believe he has a right to asking for and getting more. Human nature has to be overcome with the grey matter between your ears unless you want things to go wrong which will not bring you happiness, only pain.

The bottom line here really is that once she became pregnant you lost your rights and so did she. You're no longer a condsideration in the matter- you had your fun and now you must pay for it by making sure the child you helped create has a good chance at life. God and me don't get along very well but I do thank him daily that I never got a woman pregnant because I couldn't stand to go through the results of what you're facing- it would kill me or make me kill myself. With the right woman maybe it would work out but at least I see and understand that having sex is only a tiny part of life while most guys think it's the other way around.

I feel for you and the mistake you made by getting a girl pregnant when you weren't willing to accept her terms but it's you that knew what you were doing and it's your fault so now be what a real man is: strong in heart, loyal, and doing the right thing for those who need and depend on him whether he likes it or not no matter how much it hurts. If you do any less than that you're not a man, you're an overgrown boy that deserves to feel the pain which you willingly caused others to suffer over Don't compound one mistake by making another and lying intentionally by saying you'll be loyal and true when you know you won't- grow up and deal with it!

Expecting flames,

Bettypooh

[misssusan002]

Why dont you just respect her wishes and accept her for the way she is. I mean realy its a 2 way street and if she is going to have a baby then maybe then she is concern about haveing the baby right now than any thing else. I mean realy dear think about how she feels ok and not just your feelings.

Sue

[timmyc]

I am guessing you should have found someone more sexually compatible, to be your wife. Water under the bridge now you are going to be a father now and the needs of the child far out weigh the needs of your sexual fantasies. Love you wife, love you child give them everything they need. Never ever cheat on her and have active discussions. Everyday try to make her the happiest person on earth and maybe just maybe on occasions she might let you have you little fun.

[DDude25]

great replies!

havne't even gotten to read them all yet.

no, i will not be cheating...that's about the least mature thing i could ever imagine to do. I respect her to much, as well myself, and anyone else that would be involved to ever cheat on her.

I have asked her if there was a fantasy of hers that we could indulge. she doesn't really have any.

the bigger issue, is that she feels degraded with the diaper thing...and it hurts her emotionally. I love her enough to not make a big enough deal about it. but it's hard, and i have weak moments where I want to suggest it, or say something about it...but all that does is upset her. I can stick with online imagination as the root for my fantasy i supposed.

to me, sex is an aspect of marriage and a relationship. to me, it is an act like holding hands...and finding someone sexually compatable with you, is near impossible, especially someone that you could have a normal relationship with. I plan to let things go, and let my mind have it's fun with an online community. I don't think she would care that I am on a forum like this for example. I just think she doesn't want to be a part of it.

she constantly says it makes her feel like a bad gf whenever i bring it up....which obviously she isn't....but because she doesn't just do it, she feels like she is a bad gf or something. as though not giving in is something all gfs are required to do. Which isn't the case. it hurts her emotionally to do it, i need to respect that, but it's very hard at times...especially when i know i can find girls that will indulge me in this in our area (friends that know about it). i am afraid real life play would hurt her even worse...and will not stoop to that.

I plan to read the rest of the replies here soon, kind of busy haha, thanks guys!

[curiositykilledthecat]

Best advice I can give to a married man:CHEAT ON HER! Seriously. If you've talked it over,she still won't do it,you've made the mistake of getting married,still love her but she won't take care of you in the bedroom,CHEAT ON HER!

My advice would be to ignore this advice. The woman is obligated to put out, not to bend to your every fantasy. Eother she's into it or she's not, if the man cannot get over that then he is not mature enough for sex. As I said prior, talk and explore your fantasies verbally and see if those lead to physical exploration.

[shoelessjoe]

Is six months too late for an abortion?

[Yvhuce]

Best advice I can give to a married man:CHEAT ON HER! Seriously. If you've talked it over,she still won't do it,you've made the mistake of getting married,still love her but she won't take care of you in the bedroom,CHEAT ON HER!

People who cheat deserve whatever horrible things happen to them. Some of us have a hard enough time trying to even fine ONE person to have a relationship with... Occasionally, because someone else cheated on someone else and ruined their ability to trust others... Encouraging people to cheat should be a shootable offense.

Is six months too late for an abortion?

Encouraging abortion should also be a shootable offense.

[PampersPete]

Yvhuce:EVERYTHING to you is a shootable offense. Don't ever leave the friendly confines of Kansas. You may find yourself on the other side of that barrel

Bettypooh:Marriage is not a sacred trust. It IS however a way for two people who THINK they love each other to get a tax break. Take the gay marriage debate for example. Straight homophobes don't think marriage should be legal for gays. Why? They say it violates the sanctity of their valid marriage in front of the eyes of God. HORESHIT! They get a tax break and they don't want anyone gay or straight to fuck with that. Marriage is about money,not love. If I married every whore I've had a one-night stand with,I'd be as broke as Back Mountain

And I'm REALLY tired of the ever-so-increasingly cliche"Well....what about the children?"argument. FUCK THE LITTLE BASTARDS!(I'm a HUGE fan of Carlin in case you couldn't tell)

[Guest aussieabdl]

Jeffy, I'd say that's a great attitude to have. So... you say that she wouldn't mind you using this forum for your fantasies, and that's great, but maybe you should just make sure... I haven't been in any relationships lately, but if I remember right, you have to be honest and open for them to work... otherwise later on you may find out that she's not okay with it and things will fall apart. I hope everything works out well for you.

PampersPete, you just generalised every person who wants to get/is already married as greedy people who care more about the money than the love itself. If there's one thing I really dislike, it's outrageous generalisations. I know that when my parents got married, they weren't thinking about the money. Two of my friends were engaged, they don't really care about the money. They just want to be together, because they love each other. Just because you can't accept the fact that such a life changing decision can be based on something other than money or sex or something like that, that doesn't mean everyone thinks this way.

Also, I'm pretty sure that the reason that homophobes don't think gays should be allowed to marry isn't because of the tax break... but because they're freaking homophobes (which still isn't a good attitude to have, but it's certainly not about the money).

Also, that example with the homophobes is a stupid example to use. The entire thing is based on the fact that you think that all homophobes are lying about the real reason as to why they don't want gays to be married. You can't use something personal as a general example for everyone else, that's called being biased, as everything in your argument hinges on your own opinion.

When you say what you said, you're essentially saying, "Marriage is not about love, it's about money. For example, I think that homophobes are lying as to why they don't want gays to get married", there is absolutely no fact to support your statement, therefore making it VERY weak. So yeah. Show me some evidence of what you're talking about, or stop making assumptions and generalisations.

[Baxter]

Bettypooh:Marriage is not a sacred trust. It IS however a way for two people who THINK they love each other to get a tax break. Take the gay marriage debate for example. Straight homophobes don't think marriage should be legal for gays. Why? They say it violates the sanctity of their valid marriage in front of the eyes of God. HORESHIT! They get a tax break and they don't want anyone gay or straight to fuck with that. Marriage is about money,not love. If I married every whore I've had a one-night stand with,I'd be as broke as Back Mountain

It's amazing you've made it to 33 years of age with that kind of mentality.

[DDude25]

well pamperspete...you are quite the outrageous one.

and shoelessjoe....you are even worse.

I love her...sex is like number 198 on our list of importance in our lives...it's an act of love between the two of us...

there is a difference between fucking and love making...i make love to her...i love her.

but sometimes when I am just in that horny mood...it's hard to not want to be that very dominant person. and it makes me want to take control...which she doesn't like.

I'm not going to freaking mess around on the girl just because she doesn't want to do it. how simple some of you think.

Our child is our blessing in life...my dream has always been to become a father...and i am lucky that I will get to have it with such a wonderful woman. I just struggle because i have some desires that I sadly enough don't get to share with her. and I don't want to hurt her by having those desires...but they don't just disapear...they remain inert.

I just want to make sure I can handle our relationship with love, trust, and compatability enough to be respectful to her and her wishes as we grow old together. But I also, want to be able to pursue my wants and needs as well. In a relationship you have to put the other person above you...and your relationship above each other. and it's hard at times...thus the purpose of creating this thread.

[Brudda Voodu]

Well it sounds to me like you have fallen in love with a nice vanilla girl who is not going to bark up your kinky tree anytime soon. Well my friend, it seems that if you really want to enjoy your diaper fetish and stay true to this woman your gonna have to do it solo.

There are many fine threads already here that can help you to explain the importance of this part of you and how its never going away and all that good stuff, to get her to accept you. If she doesnt want to play diaper games thats her choice and not yours unfortunatly, but she's gonna have to accept the fact that you do have a diaper fetish and its not going away. This means that she has to give you space to play by yourself every so often. If your wife is unwilling to accept even that, then I'm afraid that is only one small aspect of a soon to be very domineering relationship. Dont worry, if that happens and you want to stick with her, I'm sure she'll take your balls out of her purse every so often so you can at least pretend they are yours again.

Take her easy buddy (and if she's easy take her twice)

Voodu

[PampersPete]

Spot on Brudda Voodu Ok,ok. I got one for all you love birds...If marriage is about love and not money like you all claim to know,why is the divorce rate here in the U.S. at almost 50%? Your replies should be worth some laughs for me before I go to bed.

[PampersPete]

It's amazing you've made it to 33 years of age with that kind of mentality.

How is this amazing? I refuse to take shit from anyone. You give me shit,fine. But be prepared for the onslaught you recieve back

[sarah_ab]

so just to say you can make love to someone and then next night fuck that same person....

every time you do the deed with your SO it doesn't have to be 'making love' sometimes you need to have a little variety... and if one of you needs variety and the other doesnt, it IS going to add tension. you can say sex is 198 on your list.. however if you are frustrated because you are not able to act your fantasies, soon you will be acting out those frustrations in other ways.

Since you have claimed its so low on your importance list, when these frustrations start coming out, seems like you are going to completely deny its related to sex, causing even more problems.

but i'm confused.. i thought she was your girlfriend not your wife... so legally, you've got no obligation to her, if you two aren't compatible then why not just break up? you can still be friends, and still be there for your children without being married.....

[RandomDL]

they did say that they plan to get married next year so that would imply that they are still dating which means that neither of them has an obligation to the other. i would say it would be best to talk with her and see if she will at least let you privately wear and use diapers. if she wont at least let you wear and use privately while not having the diapers being your main focus then id say find some1 else. but if you can get them to just let you wear and use privately then you should consider yourself lucky and stay with them because if they let you privately wear who knows it could turn into them getting involved. the main thing is that even being a DL is not something that you can suppress, you can think you got rid of it but it will just come back stronger. they should at least let you privately indulge, if they don't, leave them and find some1 else. you trying to get rid of it or even just trying to suppress it is no good and could only get in the way of things later such as your happiness and sanity.

[curiositykilledthecat]

spoken like a single man pete. People get divorced because the system makes it too easy, spend some money split the property and move on. People don't want to work for anything any more.

[DDude25]

Take her easy buddy (and if she's easy take her twice)

and if she is that easy, give me a call

my friends and i always say that to each other

[Baxter]

How is this amazing? I refuse to take shit from anyone. You give me shit,fine. But be prepared for the onslaught you recieve back

It's amazing because your outlook on love life is...... well for a lack of better terms retarded. Please bring the onslaught that I would recieve from a narrow minded mental midget such as your self.

[DDude25]

I think many of you are forgetting, and it's likely bc you don't know her or I personally...which makes sense...obviously.

I want to spend my life with her, it's just sex...i can jerk off at the computer if I need that "fuck" and I do not have to act it out in other ways....grown men do this thing all the time...example...always wanting a threesome and being married to a woman who doesn't want that.

She is a fantastic woman, and a great friend. she just doesn't want to do my fantasy....I have to deal with that on my own..

I have appreciated the advice...but you don't just break up with someone because they don't have the same fetish desires you have...if you did, you would never have an adult relationship with anyone.

you have to be compatable in way more then just sex....which we still manage to have normal, healthy routine sex as well....just somtimes I have to imagine a fantasy during to help me get off...it's just something that I need to learn to control.

I want to have my desires fulfilled, but I can't expect her to do something she doesn't want to do her whole life.

and pamperspete...the divorce rate is so high in this country bc most americans are fucking morons. they give up when it isn't right (as in so many of you think I should just because we aren't sexually compatable in every way). grow some balls, when you say i do, it is supposed to be forever, you are commited to stand by, respect, and love that person above your own self the rest of your life. instead people let their selfish desires and lack of long term sight get in the way of their happiness. many rush into marriage, get married bc of a kid, and yes some bc of financial security (which usually ends in a divorce anyway).

you really have to be commited. but i am happy i don't have your outlook pamperspete...to be that cynical must be difficult to fall asleep at night...thinking the whole world sucks.

word of advice.....optimism gives a man more power then any amount of fame, money or fortune in the world....those that have that matched with positive enthusiasm can not fail.

[DDude25]

they did say that they plan to get married next year so that would imply that they are still dating which means that neither of them has an obligation to the other. i would say it would be best to talk with her and see if she will at least let you privately wear and use diapers. if she wont at least let you wear and use privately while not having the diapers being your main focus then id say find some1 else. but if you can get them to just let you wear and use privately then you should consider yourself lucky and stay with them because if they let you privately wear who knows it could turn into them getting involved. the main thing is that even being a DL is not something that you can suppress, you can think you got rid of it but it will just come back stronger. they should at least let you privately indulge, if they don't, leave them and find some1 else. you trying to get rid of it or even just trying to suppress it is no good and could only get in the way of things later such as your happiness and sanity.

maybe i should mention....personally...i don't wear, nor do i care to ever wear....i am attracted to a grown woman who is diapered....it's usually due to the force....i am not into wearing...so my entire fetish can be lived through by simply masturbating in front of a computer...i just desire to have the occasional real world desire of diapering her before sex once in a blue moon.

just fyi

[sarah_ab]

i got married with the sole intention of filing for divorce between five years were up! we are gonna file soon, i have all the paper work filled out just waiting for him to send me his half of hte fees

we are already planning out divorce party

there are two kinds of marriage, there is the legal marriage which allows you to change your name, make medical decisions and gives u tax breaks.

then there is the religious/spiritual marriage which is supposed to be forever.

seems people forget that.

also, you are right you need to be more than just sexually compatible to have a long lasting relationship with someone... but if you aren't sexually compatible, there is always going to be something missing in your intimate relationship.

i am completely compatible with my best friend in every way except sexually, whch is why we are best friends, necause without that intimacy, its just a close close friendship.