Reunited....

[pax87]

And it felt so good!

It's been over a year since I've worn a diaper. I know, I know. I call myself AB/DL and betrayed all that ultimately represents me. Or should I say the "inner me"? I don't know. Back to the topic. Over that past year, for what crazy reason I can't remember, I decided to give up on diapers. *gasp* Well, any AB/DL would know that it's not that easy to walk away from them. Somewhere later down the time line the desire for such a unique fetish starts calling your name like a siren out at sea.

"Paxxxyyyyyyy!!... Paaaaxxxxyyyy!!!! You misss mee! Come gettt meeeee! Weaaarrr meeee!!" [Yeah, so what I'm a little crazy. ]

Well today, after craving diapers like a pregnant lady craving ice cream with pickles and rice for a week, I caved in. A few times in the past several days did I actually go to a store with the intention of purchasing my drug of choice but instead lingered in the isle of fluffy heaven for a few brief moments before talking myself out of it.

Today was no such day. I marched right into that store, boldly trumped down the isle clearly marked "incontinence" and found MY bag of diapers. My fist gripped harder than I would have imagined on those delicate plastic backed clouds. Keeping up with the same pace I proudly carried my indulgence to the check out with my heart thumping in my chest and walked out with a gigantic grin stretched across my face. My total in-store time could not have been more than five minutes. A record timing, especially with it nearing 6pm on a Friday.

Finally, I had diapers. I had my diapers. I found myself tearing open the packaging as soon as I got inside my car. My diapers were calling me so strongly that I couldn't resist them anymore. My hand had made its' way into the packaging. The cool, soft plastic enveloping the absorbent materials were inviting to my aching fingertips. I let out a sigh. What a major, exhausting, relief.

You know when you are driving somewhere, perhaps to work, and for the life of you cannot remember how you got there. Yeah, that was how my trip going home was. Before I knew it, I was in my room enveloping my privates in a sweet fluffy cacoon.

So here I sit, in absolute heaven... make that absolute diapered heaven.

Ahh it feels good to be diapered again!

[dave_the_baby]

Heh. Yeah, you can't really leave em, can you?

You obviously want the diapers. What made you want to stop?

[packrat]

pax87: Great narrative. good writing. enjoy.

[mrluvinit]

well said.

[attends_99]

Hear Hear!!! Great story and I am going through something similar (haven't been able to wear for 5 or 6 months due to living arrangements). Hope to be back in the soon cause like you they are calling me.

Good to see you on here again!!!!!!

[pax87]

Thanks for all the great replies!

I stopped because someone who knew this side of me used it against me emotionally. It was a low blow. Not to mention I needed to find a balance and not over indulge.

It's good to be back around.

[Aurelius]

I understand. When I was 15 I attempted to "quit" - I'd never worn but turned into a sexuality-nazi. Absolutely anything not strictly sexually othodox was purged from my life and I also cut right down on pornography. About a year later I was practically ruined by it and just had to relapse. It was a major blow to my psychological wellbeing. All of this time I had never got diapers in the first place, so I'd already been fighting myself. In retrospect it really hurts to think about and seems like such a wasted oppurtunity in my life to this point.

Partly as a result of repressed desires for 6+ years, when I turned 18 there was a huge outpouring of all my strongest sexual desires. I bought diapers (depends at first) and masturbated furiously 4-5 times/day on average; brought back my general kinkiness. The flip side of trying to be sexually mild is it makes it so, so much worse when it all inevitably comes crashing down. And the rest of my life (incl. my work, social life, total lack of relationships) suffered horribly from my hormonal temperament from repressing it (when I was 12-18). I'm only very slowly emerging from all of that mess now. And now the reverse happens, if I'm not wearing I feel insecure and inadequate (some of the time).

Never repress your most fundamental desires like this. It does far more harm than good.

[Three Rivers]

Glad to hear your happy with your new purchase, enjoy.

[I M Soaked]

I feel for you, Pax, I have been without for almost a month now. All because of these stupid economic cut backs evryone is going through. My supervisor cut us back on our hours and the pay checks have been lousy. The other day he figured out that the hour cuts were not only hurting his workers budgets, but were hurting business as well, and restored us to our regular hours. Maybe I'll be back in my underwear of choice, again, soon.

[Yvhuce]

More akin to "you can take the ABDL out of diapers, but you can't take the diapers out of the ABDL" or "wherever you go, there you are". It's a cliche because it's true... I once spent a week living with my best friend in Kansas City, and it wasn't exactly the best idea... Not just because of the lack of diapers (I've gone longer than that without them), but because I'm a country person... I need to be out here in the sticks, away from the city... Just like many of us need to have our diapers... We can't run away from our nature... Eventually, it'll find us...

[dogpiss]

It's like the island, you can get in, but you can never leave

More like the Hotel California... "You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave..."

OK, besides the bad Eagles quotes, I'm glad you're allowing yourself to be happy from something that doesn't hurt anyone and that you take comfort in and enjoy. When someone tries to use anything like that against you for /ANY/ reason, it's just ugly. I've known intimate things about friends and girlfriends and intimate relationships, and once those relationships soured, I NEVER thought of using what I knew against them (and believe me, I know some really embarrassing stuff!) but that's not the kind of person I am... I like to think most people are decent human beings. It sounds like an a-hole took advantage of you at an emotionally vulnerable time because they could and in doing so, took away, for a long time something that gives you comfort, relaxation and happiness in your life.

In short, welcome back, I /REALLY/ don't think anyone here will judge you, enjoy yourself, and don't let the 'turkeys' get you down!

-DP

[Guest Pizaz]

I thought you captured the feelings of the return from the purge cycle perfectly. I gave up diapers for about a couple years when I was about 19 and 20. My roommate/dorm room situation did not really allow me to indulge. But I would find myself in those incontinence aisles, staring longingly, trying to fathom where I might hide my purchase and when I might be able to indulge myself. When the time finally came to walk out of the store with the purchase, it was pure bliss. Thanks for bringing that feeling back, and welcome back!

[pax87]

my pleasure! lol

[wetn'diaper20]

"There are few things a hug won't heal."

I love that quote, and I put it into action earlyer this week. I noticed that a friend was under a lot of stress from shool and having a hard time so I gave her a big huge to maker her feel better and you know what, it really worked!!

-welcome back paxie

[pax87]

thats awesome! and thankies!