I Need Help!

[confused]

well that sucks anyone who has any ideas or suggestions of communities that i can check out and hopefully give him other people to talk to that are clean and not looking to talk shit or be disgusting but that will assist him in truly learning more about it and helping to choose his path and understand his feelings.... all help would be great.... i will continue to use this one mostly but i would like to give him a site to be able to express his feelings to others that may understand more than me and maybe able to help him cope with feelings and fears a little better than i can right now..... so all suggestions would definately be appreciated.....

Ah, actually, I've just realized ... this is an 18 and over site. He's got another two years before he can get on here. Regardless though, having the community as a resource would probably be a good idea, and there are a lot of other places where one can go. I would not recommend DiaperSpace, but there is a community of blogs out there that is very safe and generally less immature than large messageboard sites. I recommend iHeartDiapers.com. A very nice girl named Adrian runs it, and it is very clean and well written. I have a blog of my own that is a journal of learning to deal with having such an odd set of desires. You can find a link to it in my signature. There is a content warning on it, but that is mostly because people sometimes freak out about the diaper thing and think it is in some way associated with pedophilia. (Which by the way, it is most certainly not.) I try to keep an unintimidating blog that non-diapered people won't be freaked out by. You could check it out yourself if you want. Anybody else got suggestions for safe communities for the under 18 demographic?

[Nat]

My parents don't like my fetish. My mom is still ignorant about it but she doesn't say a thing about it. I get real angry at her when she says something bad about it or is ignorant about it, says its sick and twisted, I snap at her. So she refuses to say a thing about it now which is good. She doesn't want me to shut her out of my life over her ignorant thoughts about this. I even get mad when I get told I need to seek professional help or people like us should be put to sleep and we are bad for the environment, we need to be locked away, and we are harming people because our diapers smell. All these false assumptions about us make me real angry how can I be nice about it?

If you told a gay he needs help or he should be put to sleep, etc. I bet he would snap too and get nasty. I'm not saying that's what the OP said or thinks of us, but that's what some people think of us while others think we are pedophiles or sick and twisted people and think we are gross.

My mother let me be with my fetish. She didn't take them away from me or tried to stop me from wearing them but I was still too embarrassed to buy them when I'm with her so I always did it when I was alone. It took me a while to not care if she sees them in my room and if she feels them on me when she adjusts my pants or my dress. Net time she asks me if I'm still wearing them, I'm going to say "I doubt I'll ever quit, it's a fetish, not something you outgrow. It's wired in our brains so I will always like them. It's like asking someone if they are still gay or if they are still a lesbian or bisexual."

My mother acts like this is a phase or something, thinking it's something I'll outgrow. It used to be about regression and feeling secured, but now that isn't the case anymore. I just like how they feel on me and I like how it feels when I pee in them or mess. I like to wear on long road trips and am considering being double diapers for extra absorbency so I wouldn't have to change so soon.

My dad is more open about this though. He hasn't said anything bad about it or has told me it's weird or sick. He has also said it's a phase I'll outgrow and now he realizes it's likely I will not outgrow it and thinks maybe it was their fault. They let me wear diapers until I quit at age three while my brothers were able to get toilet trained at 2 and a half, I didn't. I was hard to train and my mother couldn't get me to use my potty chair so she figured I wasn't ready and put me back in diapers.

I buy my diapers online, now I am in the process of switching to cloth (I wear every night and wash them when I get up due to only having three pairs, I wear two at once). I also bought my diapers in thrift stores because they were cheaper. Now I have too much disposables.

I threw my diapers away using a plastic bag and then my mother told me one day to throw them away outside. I knew she meant in the trash. Then I moved out and threw them away in the trash bag and kept them in the broom closet and kept the door shut to keep the smell in. When I lived with my aunt and uncle, I threw them away outside in their garage. Not in their kitchen trash. My aunt found out I wore because I didn't even bother tying the bags closed and the fact they stunk. Urine has a strong smell when it gets old. Now I throw the used ones away in the bucket my aunt gave me and it holds the smell in. I throw them away in the trash when it gets full and my bf takes them outside to the dumpster. I'm too lazy to do it lol. I suffer from laziness so I'm always having to force myself to get things done and do them. Doctors call it executive dysfunction but I think that's BS. So they have made up a condition for laziness now (who knows when they coined it) and for resisting to get rid of your things you don't need or use. I just have to try harder is all and I will get better. Who cares if I keep my DVDs and video games and other stuff I don't use, I don't need to be told that's abnormal and it's a condition.

[Nat]

Here is a forum I go to.

http://abdlstoryforum.myfastforum.org/index.php

Under 18 is welcome there. I think people young as 11 go to that site but the mods also respect the parents wishes. If they tell their child to stay off that site, it's the parents business and rights to say so to their child if they feel it's innaproppiate for them to see that stuff and read about it.

Another site but it's not very active but you need to join to see the board.

http://wohrock.com/IABDL/index.php

[CBD]

Actually, I was searching around when I remembered that this site was teen friendly. I've been on it before and the discussion there is generally pretty good. I'd recommend it.

[confused]

thank you for the suggestions and any others that anyone may have are much appreciated as well.... i would like if this is something that he chooses to make a part of his life for him to be bale to have people he is comfortable with that share some of the same desires that he does.... just as i would like to learn more about it and understand it to be more supportive to him....... i dont think i will ever moving to trying them myself just to be able to understand the experience but as i have been able to talk to you guys and gals throughout the day i have had my eyes opened to a few things and i think being able to talk to ppl that do it will in time help me to be fully open minded to what he is choosing to do.... so for that alone i thank you guys and gals..... not only for the support yall are offering to him and the sites yall are giving me that i can get him involved in but for your support to me as a parent who has no experience with it...... THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART !!!!!!!!!!

Actually, I was searching around when I remembered that this site was teen friendly. I've been on it before and the discussion there is generally pretty good. I'd recommend it.

[Guest LOSTinDiapers]

I can't say much more then what has already been said. It is great that you and his father are so accepting of him. I never felt comfortable talking with my parents about it since I figured they would freak. The only person I've ever told in real life is my wife, who is accepting of this part of me.

Also, I'm sorry some people have jumped the gun and came out defensive. Some of us are quite fragile after being attacked about our fetish and/or lifestyle. There are constantly pervs in the media who make a bad name for us by flashing their diapers in public or doing other dangerous behavior. We also get trolls who come on here every once in a while who attempt to pick fights.

I, myself, am a diaper lover. I don't do the whole baby thing and just enjoy wearing adult disposable diapers. I have been a diaper lover for as long as I can remember and have accepted it as who I am. It might just be that your son is experimenting. If you want to help your son explore this part of himself, then help him buy diapers. Buying my first pack was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. He will be very grateful if you help him with this. Once that is done, don't get involved in the rest of it. Just let him be and let him figure it out. If he would like some like minded people to chat with, have him go to www.diaper-boys.net. They are teen friendly and the mods work extra hard to keep weirdos and pervs out so it's pretty safe.

Thanks again for being so understanding of your son. I think I speak for everyone else in saying that we wish we had such understanding parents.

[underwhere]

confused, I just want to say that I don't know if it's a good idea to have you buy your son's diapers for him. Part of coming to understand ourselves as individuals is owning responsibility for our thoughts, desires, and actions. It's great that your son trusted you to come to you with this stuff, and it's great that you are trying to be as supportive as you possibly can, but ultimately, this is something he needs to learn to deal with on his own. One thing which we frequently talk about a lot among ourselves here is the idea that just because we like diapers, for whatever reason, doesn't mean that we should go out of our way to share that desire with the rest of the world. Most of the time, it simply isn't appropriate to "draw people unwillingly into our kink", as we say. Therefore, if you are uncomfortable with talking about this stuff with him, as supportive as you want to be, let him know that you are willing to listen, but also let him know how it makes you feel to listen. Be honest with him about this.

What most of us come to conclude is that we can't share this aspect of ourselves with everybody, or even all of the important people in our lives. Sometimes, some things are better off left to the privacy of our own lives.

If he wants you to buy things for him, and you are willing and comfortable with doing so, fine, but if you're not, you need to let him know that. It can also build some level of responsibility and ownership of his desires on his part to make him buy his own diapers. You may need to provide him with a way to earn some money if he is unable to get a job at the moment, but if you have to work for things, enjoying them is all the more enjoyable.

So he can do whatever he wants to do so long as he isn't harming anybody else, and you are wonderful for being there for him to listen to and to help him out as much as you can, but he needs to learn to respect your wishes as much as you are trying to learn to respect his.

I have no child-rearing experience at all, so beyond stating these things, I'm not sure what else to tell you.

I realize I might get flamed for this, but I truly believe respect and understanding is a two-way street. It has to work both ways.

[confused]

once again thank you to everyone for the continued support in this...... there seems to be an overall stand of letting him buy his own diapers... which ok yeah i feel if hes going to do it is the way that it needs to be done.... honestly right now i am just way to uncomfortable buying them for him and his father has said in no uncertain terms that he refuses to..... he does earn his monthly allowance as well as extra money from time to time..... however i would have to take him to the store due to the fact that he is not driving yet... ( yeah go figure a 16 year old not driving and it aint by our choice!!! lol) i have told him i have no problem taking him to the store but that he will buy them on his own with his own money! so as far as letting him get his own hey i agree with yall 100 % there i wont buy them for him....

square_duck

as far as us going out shopping for clothes together well idk that maybe a while in the making as i said our son knows nothing of this and maybe never will.... although that is a "fetish" if u will that he and his father share he does not as far as i am concerned need to know that his father or i am bi or that his father cross dresses.... lol so if he does ever find out that is a worry that is still a world away for us......

Hi Confused,

As many others have said, I too applaud your open mindedness and support of your step son, and his 'interests'

I to am a D/L (diaper lover) and have been so since I was about 5-6, and I remember being 16, and wearing and wanting to wear and all the sh*t that went with it. The biggest memory I have though is the loneliness, and not having anyone to talk to about what I felt. For over 30 years I thought I was crazy for enjoying wearing diapers. Until 2000 when I first came on-line and found out that I wasn't alone in my desires. I was in shock and walking on a cloud for 3 days!

Anyways, you have already been given many excellent resources to search through, some I didn't even know existed! One I wanted to add was a post by Angela Bauer regarding much of which you seek, which is understanding. It's here:

http://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.php?showtopic=15384&hl=

That post deals with the psychological angle of this and who has said anything to their therapist etc. Angela is a very inciteful member.

Anyways, moving on, sorry of this is long but there is a lot of ground to cover.

The big question you seem to have is "WHY" ......thats what many of us keep asking ourselves, and keep trying to figure out. If you get 100 AB/DL types and ask the same question, you will get 100 very different answers. One thing many of us agree on is simply that diapers are so very comfortable. Also, given the male anatomy, a diaper is very thick and soft and a sort of protection. Since he has mentioned that they also "turn him on"...another reason is that when the diaper gets wet, it is now warm.....and moist and soft....very much like something else very pleasurable to guys....if you follow my drift...

Some have said that since he is 16, it could be just a phase he going through, but since he is aware that it "turns him on", I doubt its a phase. That leaves a couple of other possibilities. Being a teenager, and from essentially a broken home (divorced parents and now a step mom...I have been there too) it is possible that he is just saying this to get a reaction or for attention, to see what he can get out of you......and test you. Many teens act out in one way or another due to simply being teenagers and also given some of the stressful environment he has had to deal with, (parental divorce).

Assuming that he's not acting out, and given his age, I would say its not just a "phase", and at the very least he is a D/L.

I also was thinking that there is a distinct possibility that his cross dressing will combine with this at some point and he could possibly go down the road of being a "little girl" or a sissy....*shrug* thats just a guess.

I did find it interesting that his father being a cross dresser, has an issue with his sons diaper attachment. He doesn't seem to have a problem with him being a cross dresser, or having a boyfriend. I wonder if the 3 of you could all go out shopping for clothes sometime? I would be more concerned about him possibly contracting AIDS if he happens to have an encounter with the wrong person....(though Aids is more prevalent in the hetero community now than the gay community, but theres still a good chance for infection) The worst thing you can get from a diaper is a rash.

Sorry of this is rambling, but its almost 4 am here and my batteries are wearing down

Not being a parent myself, (and I might be out of my pond in this area) I have heard some excellent advise over the years from others who are, and what might help here with this is some simple ground rules, and boundaries. Things like:

He has to buy his own supplies, diapers , panties bras what have you.

He only wears at selected times and places, at night in bed or around the house etc for the sake of being discreet.

No wearing to school (to much risk of discovery and the resulting horrid taunting etc)

No wearing around other unknowing or unsuspecting family members (family functions holidays etc)

He has to change himself, and use good hygiene.

and just general be respectful of others and the fact that not everyone does this or is as understanding as you are.

Diapers are just a different form of underwear and really no big deal. Though there are many in society who DO make a big deal out of it,and that is mostly based on what daily di mentioned, the 'diapers are for babies" mantra...which is kind of odd, because of that were true, how do you account for the incontinent members of society???

Anyways, I'm rambling again...but since your step son is 16 and likes to wear for sexual pleasure, this is not something that will eventually just go away, its the way he's wired, and is something he will carry with him for the rest of his life, like it or not.

So, I applaud your courage to do research and help him as much as possible, (many of us here wish we had this kind of support and care when we were that age) he has much to learn on his own, and it is something he has to do himself. one thing he can know that helps a LOT is knowing that he is not alone in his desires.

Knowing that and having a supportive step mom will help a lot....and I am sure he will be fine, and (hopefully) continue on to be an upstanding member of society.....puffy pants in all

Hope this helps

Good luck

qwack

[Bettypooh]

however i would have to take him to the store due to the fact that he is not driving yet...

Perhaps a good compromise would be that he can go to the store with you when you're already going, then buy his diapers with his own money if that's what he wants to do. By making a special trip for him, you might be crossing from supporting over to something more like aiding and abetting plus having to wait for someone to drive will help him see that he needs to get his license if he wants to be able to go places on his own schedule It seems to me that you're on the right course with all this. Wanting for everyone to be happy with the outcome is good and does happen sometimes. Thank you for trying when so many other people wouldn't, and good luck!

Bettypooh

[PampersPete]

On behalf of fucked up AB/DLers around the planet,I'd just like to take this triumphant opportunity to say.....