Help W/ Girlfriend!

[Sissy Isabella]

Hi all. I'm looking for some advice w/ my girlfriend. I have been dating her for about 7 months. She has known about my ab needs for about 3 of them. She didn't handle me telling her this well, but we are still together and we don't talk about it. Ever. I really want her to be more comfortable with my needs, even if she doesn't want to participate. I'm fine if she doesn't want to participate, but I want to be able to be me while I'm around her.

I'm thinking of leaving my pasafire around so she can find it and maybe want to talk about it more, or leave a diaper where she can find it. I don't want her to be mad at me or explode at me. She does have a temper.

Any suggestions of how I can get her thinking about me being an AB more? Maybe she'll at least wanna talk about it? Any suggestions would be helpful! Thanks.

[abdljoey]

So what are your desires/goals?

Have you been wearing diapers for several years? If so, do you expect to continue in the future? Would you abandon your AB thoughts, visits to this and other online sites, and throw away your pci and diapers... for her? No?

Why not see if she will talk about it? Are you afraid of losing her? But wait, did you just say Yes or No to the above paragraph?

Do you want an honest relationship with her or whoever you might marry or live with in the future? Why not practice it now?

Just some thoughts to help you think through what you really want.

Hugs, Joey

[DollyDiaper]

I don't feel able to offer any practical suggestions on how to approach the subject with her again (I'm sure lots of others here have some tried and tested methods though) but I really think that if there is any future in this relationship, it's a subject that can't be swept under the carpet for ever more. You've already broached the subject with her, so why does she seem to think it will go away if she ignores it? Ignorance isn't bliss.

I don't mean this to sound harsh but it never ceases to amaze me that someone can claim to love another person whilst denying a fundamental part of who that other person is.

I believe that communication is the key, but if you are wary of communicating your thoughts and feelings to her because "she does have a temper" then I believe she is the one with the problem, not you.

Does that make sense? I'm a bit tired and not too articulate but I hope you get my drift.

Dolly

[Pipsqueak]

I'm not sure leaving the pacifier or the diaper out is the best way to go about broaching the subject. It's always best to be direct. Dolly's right that the issue can't be swept under the carpet if this relationship is going to continue for a long time. Even if it's not talked about, the tension it creates will seep into other aspects of your relationship. Just like the fight over the toilet seat lid is not really about the toilet seat lid. She can try to pretend to herself that she doesn't know what you might be up to when she's not around, but she hasn't forgotten. While you might want her to be more comfortable with your needs even if she doesn't participate, there's no guarantee that this will happen. The best thing is to talk about it openly. See if telling her why you do it, helps her to see it as harmless fun even if she declines to participate. Good luck to you.

[babymark033]

Take this as you will, but I have been married for 14 years, my wife has known about my AB side for all 14 plus several months before...right now we are absolutely miserable! She hates my AB side, always has. She tried once or twice to "participate" during sex, but I believe she hates it AND me more because of trying. It's not our only problem, but one off our biggest. She won't talk about it now, just like "then" and refuses to talk about it reasonably. I have worn diapers around her under my clothes, with only a robe on, and with nothing else on, she looks quickly, then ignores me or gets pissy and goes to the other room. When I wear them to bed, she won't touch me.

So if you want this relationship to work, give up your diapers and your AB side of your personality...otherwise give up the girl, if she doesn't come around to the idea BEFORE you put a ring on her finger.

I know you can't give up your AB side, at least not easily. I have tried to do this for my wife MANY TIMES!! Going as far as going to see a hypnotist and that didn't work either. I guess my willingness isn't strong enough or something, but I wish I would have known everything that I know now, back then.

Either way, Good luck to you.

[SoCalAB]

Why not dress up as a big baby this Halloween and have a bunch of local diapered friends over for a party? It might be fun and she might get into it.

Stay Pampered

SoCalAB

Hi all.

[Morv]

I'm with Pipsqueak. Many times it has gotten me into trouble with women (well, people in general, actually), but I've always been a fan of being direct. If you can't just start up a conversation about it, you shouldn't try to force one by dropping hints.

Dropping hints is a lousy way to tell someone something. I've dated several girls who seem to think the right way to express desire is to drop a variety of indecipherable hints which, without fail, leads to frustration on one or both sides. This approach is just being passive-aggressive.

If you can't manage to have a calm conversation about it, there's problems other than perhaps discomfort with a fetish.

But, a nice hint here... after discussing anything serious, it is often good to "think things over." Perhaps having some fun activity, unrelated the AB/DL conversation, planned for after the conversation would be a good idea. Just make sure it is something that isn't too schedule intensive, because you never know how long those conversations take, and make sure it is something that can be cancelled -- you both might be wanting some time to think things over on your own... which leads me to the idea it may not be dumb for you to have an activity planned for yourself alone after the conversation too, to take your head off it in case it doesn't go so hot, or she wants to think things over on her own.

But, either way: be direct, but polite and respectful.

[diapergirl marie]

Morv, you just said what I was about to say, I totally agree! The direct way is most times the best. Me saying that means quite a lot since I'm one of those stupid girls who usually think you can get a boy to read your thoughts if you only "drop a variety of indecipherable hints", but after all it's not working that well!

I wouldn't wait for your gf to bring up the subject. Obviously there's not everything going smooth in your relationship, sounds like there are more things that would need a honest discussion, not only your ab side. Approach her when you both are as relaxed as possible (for me that's usually shortly before I go to bed) and just try to discuss those points matter-of-factly. Make sure you tell the facts that are most important to you, explain your feelings (women like that )and give her the chance to express her thoughts, feelings and fears. Confess how hard it is for you to see her ignoring your needs completely and also how sad you are to see her struggle w/ this knowledge in the way she does. Offer her to ask freely whatever she wants and be honest w/ the answers. You'd be surprised what girls can handle when confronted with problems directly. Just give them the feeling they are involved and that their support is very important for you. Never lie, but make sure she understands the importance your ab side has for you! Wish you luck!