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[beachxbunni123]

How did you guys get your partner to participate in abdl with you? What are some hints or ideas that work? I think that watching something or reading something with an abdl reference in it is an idea.

[Topguy]

I dated kinky submissive girls to begin with. It was sort of a condition to other stuff being done.

But I am not exactly a one trick pony sort-my repetiore is rather eclectic. I'm certainly not the sort to lie there and demand to be treated like a baby-I can see how that would get lame with most women pretty quickly.

[Angela Bauer]

Hi Bunni and Everyone,

Honestly there is no easy way to break the news you are incontinent. Then it takes additional courage to admit using AB as a coping strategy. It takes additional courage to explain a craving for diapers as emotional support not based on medical incontinence.

Based on thousands of snail letters and messages I have received since I began communicating with the AB community in 1991, it appears women who love diapers have a much better chance gaining support from a significant other than do men.

Clearly for men and women the sooner disclosure is made the better the chance of being accepted. Of course since any recreation involving age regression and/or diapers is outside normal society experience, there is risk of embarrassment. Therefore it is prudent to ensure you have a basis of a sound relationship before blurting out details about ABDL. They way I have often explained it is to wait until a point in a romance when you would be comfortable discussing birth control. That is a huge step.

Well, when you know you need diapers for whatever reason, that is a fact your romantic partner needs to know. I strongly mentioning the kink before getting to the birth control. Perhaps your prospective partner will run away from you. Sure there is a chance an irate ex will become vendictive and blab. That is always the downside risk of needing diapers for bladder control or recreation.

Surprisingly a very effective approach is to be as open as possible about your diapers with everyone. I mean, within a family and many other situations constant diaper use is not a secret that can be kept. It is always the discovery of deception that causes serious trouble. Perhaps a person only into ABDL infrequently could keep that a secret from most friends. None of my incontinent or ABDL in-person friends have ever managed to entirely keep that a secret, although on-line I read reports to the contrary. Perhaps it is prudent to be skeptical of on-line reports from strangers.

Everyone has to decide if a relationship based on deception has any future. The vast majority of communication I have received is that always the deception cause a bad ending to relationships. Hardly ever does blabbing of a vendictive ex cause last damage to reputations. Your friends will not believe the blabbing. If they already know you need diapers they will support you and denounce your ex.

Clearly the ideal situation is to fall in love with someone who already understands ABDL. That happened for me but statistics say this is a long-shot. Relationships need to be based on much more than a mutual understanding of ABDL. So what seems to work is to closely question any potential partner you encounter on-line about everything else going on in life.

Once you do enter a relationship involving diapers, both partners need to be willing to do way more than their share. All diapers cost real money and take time, so plan for that. Even when one partner plays the surrogate parent, the other needs to do much of the actual work, both earning a living and housework.

Back in 1990 there were no AB videos and hardly any still photos that would explain this to outsiders. Over the past 18 years at least thousands of photos have been posted showing men and women happy in diapers and not just trying to be sexy. There also are videos and clips on-line showing the positive of ABDL. All this is resource material to present when you are explaining ABDL to a partner. Make use of this.

Best wishes.

How did you guys get your partner to participate in abdl with you? What are some hints or ideas that work? I think that watching something or reading something with an abdl reference in it is an idea.

[curiositykilledthecat]

I'm single so yeah not much I can add.

[sarah_ab]

so, i met my boyfriend on an ab/dl website, so we didn't have to have the whoel diaper conversation... however... there are other things i would like to try with him, and as i have a hard time just coming out with it, my face gets all red and my words get all jumbled, so i write him stories, and in those stories my characters will do the things i would like to do.

This has a double result 1. it turns him on, and 2. it lets him know what i want to do, and its always a way for me to communicate to him the limits i have set in stone, and the limits that i'm willing to explore.

Once i've written the story and he reads it.. its much easier for me to talk about it with him, because its already out there...

just a thought for people who maybe have passed the hurdle of telling someone they are into something, but are having trouble getting into the details...

[Three Rivers]

Just plain old communication works the best. If you have a loving and supporting other in your life, they should understand.