Phone Conversation

[freswith]

Just one thing you might want to correct:

I think "wouldn't" would be more appropriate here

Whoops! Duly corrected! Thanks

[freswith]

Vickie's Story

Angels

There were three of us in the whole world. Mummy, Daddy and Me, and my name is Vickie. Then one day Mummy told me that there was going to be a fourth person, a little brother or sister, who was currently growing inside her tummy. Her tummy got bigger and bigger, and she couldn't pick me up any more. Then she went away for a few days and Gran looked after me and she was very kind, but it felt a bit strange, however I felt much easier when she told me that she was really Mummy's mummy. Then I understood.

When Mummy came back, she had a little baby, and I was told it was my sister, Angela. She was all small and pink and wrinkled at first, but soon she grew bigger and bigger, and both Mummy and Daddy said she was beautiful. I used to hold her little hand, and watched as she started to recognise people and things, and I loved to play with her, although I was careful to be very gentle because she was so tiny. I realised that Mummy had to spend a lot of time looking after Angela because she was so small and couldn't run and play like me, but I didn't mind, since it allowed me to do more things of my own, without Mummy being there all the time to tell me what to do.

I spent more time with Daddy, and he would hold me on his lap while Mummy was feeding Angela, and he would talk to me and play with me, and teach me things like how to count figures and something called the alphabet. I watched while Mummy changed Angela's nappy which was just like the ones I wore, but I only wore them at night, while little Angela had to wear them all the time, and she did her poo in them, which is something I never did because I was much bigger and older and knew better.

Mummy always put Angela to bed a little while before my bedtime. She had a big cot, which stood in my room on the other side. It had once been mine, but now I slept in a big bed which didn't have bars all the way around, and it was much better because I could see out, and even get out myself in the mornings and go and see Mummy and Daddy.

I would watch as Angela had her bath, kicking and splashing and making funny squealing noises, and I would help by passing her towel to Mummy to help dry her. I soon learned that there were two kinds of towel, one to dry her and the other one was her nappy. After Angela was dried, Mummy used to put ointment and powder on her and I would then pass the nappy to her, and she would fold it and lift Angela by the ankles as she slid it under her bottom. Angela didn't seem to like having her nappy put on very much, and would wriggle and kick, but Mummy would never let her get away with it, and she would always end up with the nappy pinned on her. Then I would pass her plastic pants, and Mummy would catch Angela's waving feet and slip the pants over them, and pull them up her legs. Then Angela usually stopped wriggling as her sleeper was put over her head, and popped closed between her legs.

After Angela had been put to bed with a bottle of milk, I would have my bath. I was allowed to bath myself, and I loved it. I went in the big bath, unlike Angela, and there was lots of room to splash and have fun. I especially liked playing with my rubber duck and there was also a green crocodile which would bob up and try to eat the duck, but I made sure the duck always got away. I enjoyed the fact that I was bigger than Angela, and could do all kinds of things that she couldn't do, like walking and running and talking and playing, and I could feed myself with a knife and fork. It mattered to me that I could be treated a little differently because I was bigger, although after my bath I was really treated just the same. I would be dried, and lifted on to the changing table, and Mummy would fold up two nappies and slip them under my bottom before putting ointment and powder on me and pulling the nappies up between my legs. She would talk to me all the time about nice things and I didn't bother to wriggle as she pinned the sides. I knew she would always get the nappy on me in the end, so there wasn't any point. Then I would be left for a moment while she shook out my plastic pants and I would raise my feet so she could slip them onto my legs. Then she would stand me up and pull them up to my waist. I quite liked this part; it made the nappy all warm and snug, and the pants were cool and smooth against my skin. She then made sure my nappy was tucked in all round, and I would stand with my hands on her shoulders as she did so. She would then kiss me and I would be free to move around again while she sorted out my pyjamas. This was the only time I could touch my nappy or pants, and sometimes I could adjust them a little if they were uncomfortable anywhere. I would shift from foot to foot so the nappy settled down. Then Mummy would put my pyjamas on me and after that I wasn't allowed to touch itVickie's Story

Angels

There were three of us in the whole world. Mummy, Daddy and Me, and my name is Vickie. Then one day Mummy told me that there was going to be a fourth person, a little brother or sister, who was currently growing inside her tummy. Her tummy got bigger and bigger, and she couldn't pick me up any more. Then she went away for a few days and Gran looked after me and she was very kind, but it felt a bit strange, however I felt much easier when she told me that she was really Mummy's mummy. Then I understood.

When Mummy came back, she had a little baby, and I was told it was my sister, Angela. She was all small and pink and wrinkled at first, but soon she grew bigger and bigger, and both Mummy and Daddy said she was beautiful. I used to hold her little hand, and watched as she started to recognise people and things, and I loved to play with her, although I was careful to be very gentle because she was so tiny. I realised that Mummy had to spend a lot of time looking after Angela because she was so small and couldn't run and play like me, but I didn't mind, since it allowed me to do more things of my own, without Mummy being there all the time to tell me what to do.

I spent more time with Daddy, and he would hold me on his lap while Mummy was feeding Angela, and he would talk to me and play with me, and teach me things like how to count figures and something called the alphabet. I watched while Mummy changed Angela's nappy which was just like the ones I wore, but I only wore them at night, while little Angela had to wear them all the time, and she did her poo in them, which is something I never did because I was much bigger and older and knew better.

Mummy always put Angela to bed a little while before my bedtime. She had a big cot, which stood in my room on the other side. It had once been mine, but now I slept in a big bed which didn't have bars all the way around, and it was much better because I could see out, and even get out myself in the mornings and go and see Mummy and Daddy.

I would watch as Angela had her bath, kicking and splashing and making funny squealing noises, and I would help by passing her towel to Mummy to help dry her. I soon learned that there were two kinds of towel, one to dry her and the other one was her nappy. After Angela was dried, Mummy used to put ointment and powder on her and I would then pass the nappy to her, and she would fold it and lift Angela by the ankles as she slid it under her bottom. Angela didn't seem to like having her nappy put on very much, and would wriggle and kick, but Mummy would never let her get away with it, and she would always end up with the nappy pinned on her. Then I would pass her plastic pants, and Mummy would catch Angela's waving feet and slip the pants over them, and pull them up her legs. Then Angela usually stopped wriggling as her sleeper was put over her head, and popped closed between her legs.

After Angela had been put to bed with a bottle of milk, I would have my bath. I was allowed to bath myself, and I loved it. I went in the big bath, unlike Angela, and there was lots of room to splash and have fun. I especially liked playing with my rubber duck and there was also a green crocodile which would bob up and try to eat the duck, but I made sure the duck always got away. I enjoyed the fact that I was bigger than Angela, and could do all kinds of things that she couldn't do, like walking and running and talking and playing, and I could feed myself with a knife and fork. It mattered to me that I could be treated a little differently because I was bigger, although after my bath I was really treated just the same. I would be dried, and lifted on to the changing table, and Mummy would fold up two nappies and slip them under my bottom before putting ointment and powder on me and pulling the nappies up between my legs. She would talk to me all the time about nice things and I didn't bother to wriggle as she pinned the sides. I knew she would always get the nappy on me in the end, so there wasn't any point. Then I would be left for a moment while she shook out my plastic pants and I would raise my feet so she could slip them onto my legs. Then she would stand me up and pull them up to my waist. I quite liked this part; it made the nappy all warm and snug, and the pants were cool and smooth against my skin. She then made sure my nappy was tucked in all round, and I would stand with my hands on her shoulders as she did so. She would then kiss me and I would be free to move around again while she sorted out my pyjamas. This was the only time I could touch my nappy or pants, and sometimes I could adjust them a little if they were uncomfortable anywhere. I would shift from foot to foot so the nappy settled down. Then Mummy would put my pyjamas on me and after that I wasn't allowed to touch it, nor did I bother to.

Sometimes in the night Angela would wake up crying, and Mummy would come and change her. She usually slipped a hand inside my pants as well to see if my nappy was wet, but mostly it wasn't. Some nights I would stay dry all the way through, and Mummy would then praise me, but on some others I would wake up and want to pee, but I wasn't allowed to take my nappy off so I would wet it deliberately and went back to sleep. I didn't tell Mummy this, because she might scold me.

Normally in the daytime I wore pants, because I wasn't a baby like Angela anymore, but sometimes, if we were going on a long journey, she would make me wear a nappy just like Angela, and I didn't like that. If we went all the way to Gran's I would always wear a nappy, and if it was wet when we got there I would be changed into a dry one. We used to go to Gran's for Christmas and then Mummy made me wear a nappy all day long so I could eat and drink and play as much as I liked without having to bother about the toilet. I didn't really like that, as I knew when I needed to go, but everybody seemed to expect me to wet my nappy, so sometimes I did. Everybody was very nice to me at Christmas, so I didn't worry.

When I started school I learned that the other children didn't wear nappies at all; even at night, and I felt rather silly, but I never let on that I wore them, and so as long as I was careful not to let them know it didn't matter. School was fun, but rather silly because many of the other children didn't know their alphabet, and didn't seem to be able to learn it easily. They kept forgetting the things they had been told, and I could never understand why. I enjoyed learning how to make my letters, and when I found I could read stories for myself I loved to do it, and would read stories aloud to the other children as well. They also taught us how to do sums, but that was stuff my daddy had taught me before then, because he taught big sums to grown-ups, and had shown me how they were done. It was so easy, and I helped the other children to get their sums right. They never seemed to be able to think as clearly as I did, and would often get the wrong answers. That was something I never did.

The one night I woke up and the room was full of strange people. There was a lot of talk going on and there was a flashing blue light outside which lit up the walls of the room through the curtains. Then after a while they went away, and Mummy came for me and took me into bed with her and Daddy, and they both slept either side of me until morning. It was very hot there, and I used my nappy quite a lot rather than make a fuss and wake them.

The following morning I ran back to my own room to see Angela, but she wasn't there. Mummy came running after me, and I thought it was because my nappy was very full and it was coming down. She stopped me in the doorway of the room and pulled my pyjama pants down and then my nappy, so I stepped out of it and went towards Angela's cot. Mummy stopped me again before I got there but I could see that the cot was empty. I asked Mummy where Angela was, but all she did was to cry. I didn't know that grown-ups cried like children, but that's what she did. Eventually Daddy came up and put his arms around Mummy. I asked him where Angela was, but he took a long time to answer, and when he did, his voice was strange and thick. He said that the angels had come in the night and seen that Angela was too beautiful for this world and so they had taken her away to heaven because she would be happier there. I thought that very strange, and wondered if it might happen to me as well, but then I thought that it wouldn't because I wasn't beautiful like Angela.

Sometimes in the night Angela would wake up crying, and Mummy would come and change her. She usually slipped a hand inside my pants as well to see if my nappy was wet, but mostly it wasn't. Some nights I would stay dry all the way through, and Mummy would then praise me, but on some others I would wake up and want to pee, but I wasn't allowed to take my nappy off so I would wet it deliberately and went back to sleep. I didn't tell Mummy this, because she might scold me.

Normally in the daytime I wore pants, because I wasn't a baby like Angela anymore, but sometimes, if we were going on a long journey, she would make me wear a nappy just like Angela, and I didn't like that. If we went all the way to Gran's I would always wear a nappy, and if it was wet when we got there I would be changed into a dry one. We used to go to Gran's for Christmas and then Mummy made me wear a nappy all day long so I could eat and drink and play as much as I liked without having to bother about the toilet. I didn't really like that, as I knew when I needed to go, but everybody seemed to expect me to wet my nappy, so sometimes I did. Everybody was very nice to me at Christmas, so I didn't worry.

When I started school I learned that the other children didn't wear nappies at all; even at night, and I felt rather silly, but I never let on that I wore them, and so as long as I was careful not to let them know it didn't matter. School was fun, but rather silly because many of the other children didn't know their alphabet, and didn't seem to be able to learn it easily. They kept forgetting the things they had been told, and I could never understand why. I enjoyed learning how to make my letters, and when I found I could read stories for myself I loved to do it, and would read stories aloud to the other children as well. They also taught us how to do sums, but that was stuff my daddy had taught me before then, because he taught big sums to grown-ups, and had shown me how they were done. It was so easy, and I helped the other children to get their sums right. They never seemed to be able to think as clearly as I did, and would often get the wrong answers. That was something I never did.

The one night I woke up and the room was full of strange people. There was a lot of talk going on and there was a flashing blue light outside which lit up the walls of the room through the curtains. Then after a while they went away, and Mummy came for me and took me into bed with her and Daddy, and they both slept either side of me until morning. It was very hot there, and I used my nappy quite a lot rather than make a fuss and wake them.

The following morning I ran back to my own room to see Angela, but she wasn't there. Mummy came running after me, and I thought it was because my nappy was very full and it was coming down. She stopped me in the doorway of the room and pulled my pyjama pants down and then my nappy, so I stepped out of it and went towards Angela's cot. Mummy stopped me again before I got there but I could see that the cot was empty. I asked Mummy where Angela was, but all she did was to cry. I didn't know that grown-ups cried like children, but that's what she did. Eventually Daddy came up and put his arms around Mummy. I asked him where Angela was, but he took a long time to answer, and when he did, his voice was strange and thick. He said that the angels had come in the night and seen that Angela was too beautiful for this world and so they had taken her away to heaven because she would be happier there. I thought that very strange, and wondered if it might happen to me as well, but then I thought that it wouldn't because I wasn't beautiful like Angela.

[freswith]

Cousins

I didn't go to school that day, and so I was there when Gran arrived. Mummy wasn't at all well, but whenever I went to ask her if she was feeling better, she would cry, and then hug me and make my dress all wet. I didn't mind the hugs, but I couldn't understand why, if Angela was in heaven, then why was Mummy so unhappy? Gran changed the whole atmosphere in the house. Where things had drifted they were now under firm control. Meals were prepared and served, and I was required to wash my face and hands and then sit at table. There was no place laid for Angela, but Gran sat there instead. Gran also kept reminding me to go to the toilet, and even said at one point that I might be happier if I had a nappy on rather than risk the carpets. I got angry then and replied that I was now a big girl and could do that all by myself, and I was surprised when Gran, instead of just overruling me as Mummy would have done, simply gave me a strange grin and said "That's my girl!" I think it was praise, but I couldn't quite work out why.

Gran put me to bed that night. She said that Mummy was very, very tired, and I should be careful to be quiet and good. It was quite funny. There wasn't all the usual noise and fuss that went on with getting Angela to bed, and I actually felt quite lonely. I looked over at the cot, but there were no bedclothes on it, and I wondered what would happen if the angels brought Angela back this evening. However, Mummy looked in several times that night before I went to sleep, and I think she checked my nappy at least once during the night.

I went to school the next day, and it was very odd. Everyone was very nice to me and kept asking me if I was all right, but even so I actually got some of my sums wrong, and I couldn't think why. I was very annoyed with myself and kept trying to make my mind think right, but my thoughts kept drifting away to Angela, and wondering if she was happy up there in heaven, and if the angels were looking after her properly. Then the big girl, Sarah, who was normally so bad at doing sums, asked me to help her and I put my thoughts of Angela aside and made sure I put all her sums right for her. Then I felt much better, and my mind was clear and sharp again.

When I got home, the furniture in my bedroom had been moved around, and the cot had gone. So had Angela's toys. I presumed an angel had come to collect them for her. Gran had bought me a big teddy bear - I had never had one before - and it was lovely and soft and furry, and warm to cuddle, and I took it to bed with me that night. Without the cot to remind me I didn't think so much about Angela, and I slept right through the night until Mummy came to take my nappy off in the morning.

Several days later, after the school had broken up for the holidays, the house filled up with people. They were all dressed in black, and it looked very odd. In the morning Mummy had changed me into fresh nappies - two of them - instead of my usual pants, and I assumed that we were to go away somewhere; I never wore night-nappies in the daytime. She even put the frilly pants on that I only wore on very special occasions, but fortunately my dress was long enough to cover them. It still made me waddle a bit, and I didn't really want all those people to see me in nappies, so I stayed upstairs. Two older girls came up to see me - one almost grown up - and they played with me. I did my best to stop them from seeing my baby pants as I felt so stupid with them on, I knew that children of my age didn't normally wear nappies in the daytime. The two girls said that their mummy was my Mummy's big sister, and so they were my "cousins". One was called Juliet and the other was called Amelia. I still sat with my new teddy across my lap to conceal the bulge of my pants, and they admired him greatly, stroking him and asking what he was called. I thought quickly - I hadn't really given him a name, but it was obviously expected of me and seemed quite a good idea. I remembered one from a book I'd read about a rabbit, and said he was called Peter, at which the girls both laughed. Juliet said that Peter was also the name of her boy, and he was fair like my Peter, and very cuddly too. She reached into a pocket of her jacket and produced a picture of a grown up boy with fair hair, dressed in a dark jacket with brass buttons and a peaked cap with white on it, and white patches on his collar. I asked if he was a ticket collector. Amelia laughed at this, and I did too, as it seemed to be expected of me. Juliet said he was a sailor and learning how to fly aeroplanes, and was her boyfriend. I asked what a boyfriend did, and Juliet smiled and said that he looked after her and loved her, which sounded like a good idea to me. I decided I would get a boyfriend for myself one day.

While we were having fun, Mummy came into the room and asked if I was ready to go. I got up to my feet and asked where I was going. Juliet interrupted and said that perhaps it would be better if I stayed here and played with her and Amelia, that I would be much happier if I didn't go to the big people's thing. After a moment, Mummy nodded and said that it might be better if I stayed, because it was raining outside, the church would be cold and it was really a grown-ups' thing and she thanked Juliet and Amelia for offering. I said I was having fun here with Juliet and Amelia, and I would like to stay in the warm and dry house. With that Mummy said that they wouldn't be long, and they'd be back for lunch and she left us.

I was just sitting down when I realised that my dress had ridden up over my pants at the back, and my frilly panties were showing. I pulled the hem down rapidly, but Juliet laughed and said what pretty panties I had on. I felt my face burning. I'd been getting on so well with the two of them that I'd forgotten about my baby pants, and I was terribly embarrassed they had seen them. I was almost in tears, and said my mother had made me wear it, but I really didn't need it and I wasn't a baby. Amelia asked me why I was upset about it, and I was stuck for a reply. It seemed so obvious, here I was a big girl wearing a nappy like a baby. Juliet then said it was very common in the family, and then Amelia got up and lifted her skirt. She had something on which looked like a nappy too, under her tights. It was much smaller than mine, and she didn't appear to have pants on over the top. I didn't know what to say. Here was a big girl - she said she was ten years old, twice my age - or very nearly twice since I was five and a half, and twice that was eleven - and still in nappies in the daytime. I asked her if I would have to wear nappies forever, then. Juliet replied that I would certainly get dry in a few years, and she herself had worn nappies at night, and sometimes in the day too, until she was twelve. She said Amelia still wore nappies at night, but she was just finishing off and she expected her to be dry soon - Amelia looked sharply at Juliet when she said this - but if they were going on long car journeys or to church, their mummy insisted on Amelia wearing a nappy in case she had an accident. This was one of those trips.

I felt much more confident at this, and no longer held Peter across my tummy to hide my nappy bulge. I even pushed a finger up my leg elastics where they'd been pinching a bit. Juliet asked if I was wet, but I wasn't, and I really didn't want her to change me anyway. She was too young: and I still felt I didn't know her well enough. Amelia then said that if a change was on offer, she would like one. Her nappy had got all clammy on the car journey, and she needed the toilet anyway. Juliet said she would go and get the bag, and I showed Amelia where the toilet was. I walked across the landing, feeling the bulk of my nappy between my legs and against my bottom, but it was just an impediment now, no longer a thing to be ashamed about.

Juliet returned carrying a big bag, and unzipped it as Amelia came out of the toilet.

"Do you think you'll fit on the changing table?" she said.

"I don't think so. I don't think its strong enough." replied Amelia.

"It'll have to be the floor then. Sorry."

Julia pulled a square white thing out of the bag and unfolded it on the floor. Amelia groaned.

"Why not use my bed?" I suggested. Amelia thanked me, and Julia shifted the nappy-thing onto the bed. I was fascinated to see this, as I had always thought nappies were big things like towels, and this was something new. Amelia laid herself down on the nappy, and Juliet pulled the front up between her legs, just like Mummy did to me. Then she fastened the sides with sticky tape instead of pins, and Amelia pulled her tights straight up over the top.

"Don't you use pants?" I said.

"No need," said Juliet, "The outside is plastic and it's waterproof."

I looked again. "So that's why it makes that funny rustling noise, like a shopping bag?"

"Correct. Or it would do if she didn't wear tights over the top of it. The tights also help to keep it in place, even when it's wet."

"It doesn't look as though it holds much."

"It holds about the same, but it swells up when it's wet. It's just as comfortable as the towelling ones, too."

Amelia sat up. "It's really a lot more comfortable than the towelling ones." She said, pulling her skirt down. "Not as bulky when it's dry, but it can get clammy at times. I'd better keep it on. I'll have to wear one on the way back, and Mum would be angry if I took it off without her permission."

"Do you often wet on a car journey?" I asked.

Amelia grinned. "Sometimes I fall asleep and I might have an accident, but mostly it's because Dad gets narky if we have to stop too often, and it's easier to go into the nappy and get Mum to sort me out at the far end. We have a sort of agreement; I won't ask Dad to stop, and she won't scold me for wetting. I don't think Dad knows about it."

Juliet laughed. "I used to have the same arrangement. We called it a "free one". Sometimes I wish I still had."

I didn't know what "narky" meant, but I could guess. Teacher certainly got "narky" sometimes, especially when the other children got their sums wrong, or played her up. I was astonished to hear that the grown-up Juliet sometimes wanted to wear a nappy, but then so much had surprised me in the last few days. Angels were real - and could be dangerous. There were people called "cousins", and they could be very nice. Boys had a function other than being just plain thick and annoying. There were other types of nappy. There were other children who had to wear them at night. Some people even liked to wear them, and felt it was sometimes better than going to the toilet. They weren't even ashamed of it. All in all, I had an awful lot to think about.

Family

I heard the front door open and people came back into the house. Juliet went to the top of the stairs, and then came back and said: "There's food downstairs. Are you hungry?" I realised that I was very hungry - it was way past my normal lunchtime. I went out of the room, with Amelia behind me, and the walking made me remember I had my big, big nappy on. I passed my hands across my seat to make sure my skirt covered it, and Juliet said: "Don't you worry, now, we're all family here and we understand. We've all been through it. Believe me, no one will notice." And I felt much better, and I went down the stairs holding her hand.

The living room was full of grown-ups, and I hesitated at the door. Amelia came up behind me. A big old man with a rugged face turned around and looked at me with bright blue eyes - the same blue eyes that Juliet and Amelia had - and he smiled at me and bent down to say hello. I didn't know who he was but Amelia nudged me forward and told me to say hello to Granpa, and I did. When she said the name I realised that I had seen him at Christmas, but that he hadn't really spoken to me. He extended a great big hand and, nudged again by Amelia, I put my little hand inside it. He asked me how I was, and I told him carefully that I was all right. I was still dry, but I didn't tell him that. I suddenly felt I wanted to go, but I held on to it. There was a sort of old leathery smell about him, which really felt quite comforting. My Daddy came over and spoke to Granpa, and said I was doing awfully well at school - quite a prodigy, he said. He only had to tell me something once and I remembered it. I didn't know what "prodigy" meant, but it didn't sound very nice.

A lady I recognised, Auntie Pat, came over to spoke quietly to Amelia, and I could just overhear that she was asking if Amelia was still dry. Amelia nodded and Auntie Pat then smiled at me. "Are you OK, Vickie?" and I nodded. I realised that I would soon have to do something about it, but then the spread of food caught my attention. It was all laid out and people were just helping themselves. I went over to it, and Juliet followed. She passed me a plate and told me not to take too much of anything at one time, because that was bad manners. She asked me what I wanted to drink, and I got a big orange squash.

With my plate of food and my drink I withdrew into a quiet corner where I wouldn't be disturbed. I tried the things on my plate, and mostly they were very good, although some of them were a bit strange, and I drank deeply of the orange to take the taste away. Then I saw Amelia going in for a second go. I looked around to make sure nobody was watching and slipped over to the table again behind the backs of two grown-ups. I helped myself more carefully this time, taking only those things that I knew were good, and retreated to my corner again. I took more time over eating the second lot, and then washed them down with the rest of the orange juice. Then I realised drinking all that orange squash hadn't been a very good idea. I looked urgently towards the door, but there were lots of grown-ups blocking the way. I looked round the other way desperately, and caught Amelia's eye. She winked at me, and said very softly "Well, do it then; it's what it's for, after all." I shook my head. "Well, I'm going to, as soon as I need to. I've got a good place here, and I'm not going to give it up in order to go to the toilet. As far as I'm concerned, my toilet is right here." and she motioned toward her nappy. I saw her point. It was a good spot, close to the table and well away from most of the grown-ups. I decided that Amelia had a very good idea, and so, very gently at first, I let it go. The warm feeling spread slowly between my legs and then moved back towards my bottom. I was well familiar with it, but normally I felt guilty about it, although it actually felt very good if I did it slowly and carefully. I was a bad girl for doing it, but Amelia was here, and Juliet was here, and they would understand, and the relief was immense. I waited a few moments for it all to subside, and then waddled my way back to the table.

After the third plateful, which brought my total up to the twenty-second little foody thing, not to mention another glass of orange squash, I watched Amelia walk over to Aunt Pat, and simply look up at her from beneath her brows. Aunt Pat raised one eyebrow. (I didn't know that could be done. It was quite effective and I must see if I can do it too), and Amelia just nodded. Aunt Pat shrugged, and led Amelia away. I started to follow, but was pounced on by Mummy who grabbed my arm with one hand, and reached under my skirt with her other one. I felt her lift my heavy nappy. "I thought so!" she said scornfully, and I was promptly marched out of the door and upstairs. As I went my eyes met Juliet's, she winked, and I saw her cover her mouth with her hand as she giggled.

Mummy had me on the changing table just as Amelia was pulling her tights up again. Auntie Pat looked into the changing bag and obviously thought something was wrong; there were one too few nappies in there. Amelia didn't tell her about the previous change, and no more was said. Mummy pulled my sodden nappy down and tut-tutted about the wetness of it. She took a handful of wipes from the box and started to clean me up. She asked me how much I had been eating and drinking and I told her. Twenty-two little foody things, ("Hors D'Oeuvres" she snapped "Orsederves" I responded.) and two big glasses of orange squash. She paused for a moment. Then she hoisted me off the changing table, dumped me smartly on the potty and told me to stay there until I'd done something. I was just glad that no-one was around to see this, my latest humiliation. I did what I could. As I was doing so, Mummy was folding more nappies on the table, and then, after a glance at me, she added two of the paper liners that she used to use for Angela.

"It's got to go somewhere!" she said, "But if you start to feel sick, you've got to tell me straight away!". I hadn't thought about being sick up to that point, but when she said it, the funny flavours seemed to come back up my throat again. "Are you finished?" she said curtly, and I nodded. She picked me up, looked at what I had done, and then snorted. "We'd better make sure of it this time!" she said and at first I didn't realise what she meant. I realised very quickly when she pulled the nappies up between my legs. They were thicker than I had ever known them before; she must have used at least three, plus the paper liners.

As she was pinning them on, Auntie Pat came back into the room. She picked up the changing bag and then looked at me, helpless on the changing table.

"Do you still use those old things?" she said. "I thought you had gone over to disposables."

"Landfill!" Said Mummy, not pausing in her pinning of my nappies. "Saving the Planet. Tom's very keen on it. So are all his colleagues. He says before long we'll be up to here in disposable nappies, and they take five hundred years to decompose."

"Can't be that long, I'm sure." said Auntie Pat, "After all, they haven't even been around for five hundred years, so how can anybody tell?"

"God knows! - oops! Pardon my French! - but I think it's really because he's just too tight-fisted to pay for them. And he doesn't have to wash the bloody - ooops! - things. Real nappies! That's the buzzword in the common room. I've got half a mind to take them down there, dump them on the floor and tell them to wash them themselves, and Sod the Bloody - oooops! - Planet" With that she clicked the final pin down and took the plastic pants from Auntie Pat's hands. "She'll need some bigger ones soon anyway, soon I won't be able to get these around her at the rate she's growing. She eats like a horse, you know!"

"Horse derves?" I murmured, lifting my legs for the proffered pants. I didn't want to get in the way of Mummy's tirade.

"Everything!" said Mummy, slipping the pants over my feet and up my legs. They felt cool and smooth against my skin. She picked me up and my world came back onto an even keel. The pants were pulled fairly briskly up to my waist, even though they now had to pass over a huge mass of nappies. She tucked in the surplus, and I dropped my dress down over it all. It was very bulky, but it was an improvement over the wet nappies, and the pants felt very good.

"Well, she still looks rather cute in them." said Auntie Pat, and Mummy relaxed a bit. I tried to walk, but it was almost impossible. I finally managed a stagger, and then a waddle. I remembered vaguely having to walk like this once before, when Daddy held my hands and then let them go as Mummy reached out for me, but it was lost in the mists of time. I know they were very pleased with me then, but I can't remember quite why.

I went downstairs again with Mummy, and she held my hand very tightly. There were fewer people in the living room, and Gran and Granpa were putting their coats on. I looked over at the table and there were still some food on it, but when I moved towards it, Mummy gripped my hand and stopped me. Instead we stood by the door, and said goodbye to Gran and Granpa. Gran leaned down to kiss me, and gave me a squeeze and said I was not to worry; I would be all right. I agreed; with such a thick a nappy on, there was no accident I could possibly have. I looked into the living room, where Auntie Pat and Juliet were clearing up the table. I wanted to try some of the other things, but Mummy was still keeping hold of my hand.

She didn't let me go until the table was fully cleared, and I looked around to see if there were any plates left on the sides, but they had all been cleared. Mummy went into the kitchen to help with the washing-up, and I saw the tablecloth twitch at the bottom and Amelia's hand beckoned. I looked round to check that nobody was watching me, and then sneaked in under the tablecloth. There was Amelia, sitting cross-legged with three plates of food, and two glasses of squash. We continued our feast as the grown-up's legs went to and fro outside our den. The horse derves tasted even better for having been stolen.

I was very sad when Juliet and Amelia had to go home. They'd taught me so much in that day, and I loved the way that Amelia treated all the rules as things which were fun to break, or at least to misuse. I loved her contempt for the nappies she had to wear, how she used them and how little she seemed to worry about them. I realised there could be fun in mischief.

I had spent some time sitting on the sofa with Juliet, and asking her questions. She lived in a big adult world, and I wanted to be just like her one day. I wanted to have a boyfriend like hers, a sailor in a smart uniform, who loved me and cared for me. She told me that she was just about to go to India for three months before she went to university in the Autumn. I asked if Peter would be going with her, and for a moment her face clouded, and she said he was too busy with the Navy. I presumed she meant he was sailing his ship somewhere, but I said I was sure he would be coming back. Then she told me that she would be coming to university at Bristol, where Daddy worked, and so she would be coming round here quite often, and I was really pleased to hear that. I asked if Amelia would be coming to university too, but Juliet laughed and said that it wouldn't be for many years yet. I liked the way she seemed to have time for me, how she treated me as a real person, and how her replies to my questions were always wise and kind.

I stood on the driveway to wave them goodbye, and clean forgot that I was standing out in the open with a big nappy on me. I just didn't care what the world thought about me, now that I had two big sisters who seemed to understand my problems and would help me. It was even better than having had a baby sister, cute though she had been.

Mummy wasn't surprised when I said I didn't want any tea. I'd had more than enough of the horse derves, and simply hadn't got room for any more. When the last grown-ups left she took me upstairs and ran my bath, then undressed me and let me use the toilet before she put me in the bath. This was something I normally did for myself, but it was nice to have Mummy doing it with me. I was grateful to get rid of the huge thick nappy - I had wet it just a little bit when saying goodbye to Juliet. Mummy washed me all over, and it felt nice. Then she patted me dry with the towel and lifted me onto the changing table where my usual night-nappies were already folded, but once again with a paper liner added. She lifted me on to the table and I lay back. It was really nice to have all her attention for once. She anointed me carefully, and added a lot of powder, and asked if it smelt nice. Then, quite slowly and very gently she lifted the nappy up between my legs and pinned the sides, taking great care of the fit. She tucked the surplus in at the legs, and I raised my feet again for the pants. Once again they slid up my thighs, cool and smooth, but this time she lifted my legs and slipped the waistband under my bottom, and then tucked everything in, in exactly the same way she had done Angela's nappies. I was quite tired, and just laid back and enjoyed the attention. Then she put my pyjamas on, brushed my hair, and picked me up and put me into my bed. She asked if I would like some milk. This was unusual because I wasn't normally allowed anything after tea because it made me almost certain to wet in the night. I said this, and she replied that just this time it wouldn't matter, so I said yes. She then produced a bottle of milk like Angela used to use, and slipped the teat in my mouth. I suppose I should have objected, but my mouth was full of teat, and it tasted nice. Mummy read to me for a while from a story book as I sucked the milk, and I don't recall either finishing it, or her finishing the story. My last thought was that the day had been a lot of fun, and we should do it more often.

[freswith]

Daddy

The following morning I got myself up because Mummy didn't appear at the usual time. I took my nappy down, since it was all wet, then I put my dressing gown on and wandered down the landing to Mummy and Daddy's room, but they were still in bed. After I looked in the door, Mummy got up, and came and picked me up and took me back to my own room. She saw the nappy and pants on the floor and scolded me for taking it off, even though it was already morning and it was soaking wet. She picked me up, put me on the changing table and cleaned me up. Then she got a new nappy from the shelf, and started to put it on me. I protested loudly that I didn't need nappies in the daytime any more but she ignored my protests and continued to nappy me. When it was complete she picked me up and took me back to her room, and put me in her bed. I didn't complain, and I realised I didn't need to get up early because it wasn't a school day, and there was no hurry, and Daddy was on holiday too. Now I realised why I had a nappy on; Daddy always insisted on it if I came into their bed for any reason.

Daddy came back a few moments later with a tea-tray and we all sat in bed together, talking about yesterday and all the people we had talked to and the things they had said. I said I was sorry for having two accidents during the day. I was careful not to tell Mummy that I had wet deliberately because it was easier than going to the toilet, and I certainly didn't tell her that Amelia had done the same, and put me up to it, even though I thought it had been such a clever idea at the time. Mummy then said that she was going to keep me in nappies for a day or two to make sure I could remain dry, and I suddenly realised I had made something of a mistake. It seemed silly to put me in a nappy to keep me dry since it was such a fuss to take it off if I wanted the toilet, and so I would have to ask Mummy if I wanted to go, but I could hardly protest after yesterday. She also spoke to Daddy about disposable nappies, and said that I was outgrowing the old terry nappies. Daddy said that he would find some bigger ones for me on his internet thing, but he was still worried about the effect that disposables would have on the planet, and he still didn't like the idea.

After breakfast I told Mummy I needed to have a poo, and she took my nappy off so I was able to go on the toilet. Then she started to put it back on again. I protested, but she said it was because I'd been wet so much yesterday and I argued that this was today and not the same thing at all, but she said she wasn't taking chances and I was back in nappies for a while until I could show I could stay dry. I was getting desperate, and thinking of taking a big risk by telling her one of the wettings yesterday had been deliberate, when Daddy came into the room holding a tape measure. He said he had found a shop on the internet-thing that sold child-size nappies, and he needed to work out the right size for me. Mummy moved aside, and daddy slipped the tape measure around my waist, murmured a figure, and then measured me underneath from front to back. Then Mummy took over again and put my pants back on, and added a T-shirt, but then set me back on my feet without putting any shorts or anything on me, and gave me a pat on the bottom. I took this as permission to go and play, and I trotted round to Daddy's study where he was sitting at his desk. I wanted to see how this internet-thing worked.

Daddy was making a drawing on a piece of paper and adding figures. When I went closer I saw it was a picture of a flat folded nappy with arrows and figures on it. I asked him what he was doing, and he said he was working out what size of nappy to buy to fit me. I looked more closely and asked him how he did it. He picked me up and sat me on his knee and began to explain. I could follow him just so far, but then I asked what a "squared" number was, and he told me that it was a number times itself. I had learned my tables at school, and knew about multiplying numbers, and so I said so, and he showed me more about how the sum was worked out. I didn't realise until then that you could add and multiply numbers more than once in a sum. Daddy laughed and said that he had to do it all the time. I looked at the figures again "squared" one of them and Daddy asked me how I knew how to do that, and so I told him that I had just worked it out. He went quiet for a moment, and then gave me another, bigger number. I worked that out easily, because I knew my tables, and the idea seemed so natural. He asked me if I could divide one number by another, and I said yes, so he asked me what twelve divided by four was, and I told him three, straight away. I knew that one. I liked twelve, because there were so many bits in it and it was so useful, and I told Daddy so. I saw he was looking at me very intently, and I knew I had his whole attention, and I liked that. I love it when people don't just ignore me. He asked me what thirteen divided by three was, and I told him it didn't go. Thirteen was one of those funny numbers, like eleven, which you couldn't divide by anything. Daddy's eyes got wider and wider, and he asked me if I had been taught all this in school, and I said no, I'd just worked it out. It seemed so natural, and I liked doing sums, and even did some of my own when the teacher's back was turned.

It was obvious that Daddy was very pleased with me, and I was pleased that I was sitting in his lap and he was giving me all his attention. He said that we had better get on with what he was supposed to be doing and he pulled the keyboard towards us. I watched carefully as he typed things in, and I saw the screen change. Then he used a funny little thing he called a mouse to move a little arrow round on the screen. All the time he was telling me that his little computer was on the phone to a big computer where all these things were stored. Then we came to a picture that showed a stack of nappies, with a table of figures beside it. Daddy selected the size he had worked out would fit me, and made a few more clicks. He then went to another page that showed a lot of plastic pants in different colours and patterns and asked me which ones I liked. I didn't really like any of them, after all, they were baby pants, but I chose some in pretty colours and he made some more clicks. Then he typed a lot of figures in various boxes, which didn't make any sense, and added his name and address. I asked him what he was doing it for, and he said that there would be another computer in the shop at the other end, and they would see his order and send the things to him in the post. I thought this was very clever, and asked him if I could have a go. He shifted me around from his knee into his lap, and typed something else into the computer, and a fairy story appeared on the screen. He told me to put my hand on the mouse and showed me how I could turn the pages over when I had read them. He started reading the story aloud to me, but I was able to show him that I could read aloud myself, and so he just sat there as I read the story, and moved the pages on as necessary. Some of the pages had moving pictures, and I thought that was wonderful. I had watched lots of television, of course, but it was much more fun to have some control over things.

After what seemed a very short time, Mummy came to say that lunch was ready, and Daddy finally put me down on my feet. My legs felt all numb and funny, and all of a sudden I started to have an accident. I didn't worry too much, as I knew I had a nappy on and it wouldn't go all over the floor, but I didn't want to have to sit all through lunch in a wet nappy and so I told Mummy about the accident. She was not amused, and took my hand and started to lead me back to my bedroom, but then turned, and told Daddy it was his turn to change me. He pulled a face, but Mummy insisted. Eventually she passed my hand over to his and he led me back to the changing table. Mummy followed.

I could see that Daddy wasn't quite so pleased with me now, but he persevered just the same, and cleaned me up and changed me. Mummy stood by the door all the time with her arms folded, and when he had finished she stopped him going out, and gestured towards the nappy pail. "Now you've changed'em, you can wash'em!" she said, and Daddy's shoulders fell. I was expecting an argument, and for a few moments the air seemed to crackle, but Daddy obediently picked up the nappy bucket and we all trooped off downstairs. Mummy then instructed Daddy on how nappies should be washed in the machine, and he obeyed her every word.

It wasn't until we sat down to lunch that Daddy seemed to recover his spirits, and started telling Mummy about how I had been doing all the new sums this morning. He actually got quite excited and waving his hands around and spluttering. I hadn't seen him like this except when he was watching rugby football on the television. Mummy seemed not to believe him, and so I started telling her about the things Daddy had taught me to do, and wrote a few of the sums down on the paper napkin beside me to show her. Then I had all her attention, too, and she quietened down and looked at me with that strange wide-eyed expression that Daddy had used.

After lunch Mummy thought it was a good idea for me to take a nap as usual, and I objected as usual, and she over-ruled me as usual. I wanted to get back to the computer and see what else it could go, but Mummy took me up to my room, asked me if I wanted a change, or the toilet, which I refused, and so she just checked my nappy, laid me down on my bed and spread a fleece throw over me. She then drew the curtains and closed the door. I just lay there thinking about sums, and how pleased Daddy had been.

Mummy woke me up when she drew the curtains back, and I blinked in the light. I hadn't realised that I'd been asleep, and was still not fully awake when she put me on the changing table. I must have wet myself during my nap, but she didn't comment, in fact she was very nice as she changed me and I didn't even think of objecting. She put my frilly pants back on, although I didn't expect us to go anywhere, and then followed them with a little dress. The dress was a bit short, and I was worried that my pants might be seen, but Mummy was really being nice and so I didn't protest. As she was putting my shoes on she told me that Daddy had changed his mind about the other type of nappies and we were going to go down to the shops to buy some.

As we toured the aisles of the store, I was a bit nervous in case my short dress rode up and showed my pants, so I kept my hands off the push-bar of the trolley, and walked quietly beside my mother. I tried to fade into the woodwork as she asked one of the staff for the largest size nappies. The assistant took a careful look at me, and I felt my face redden, but she made no remark other than to point out a section of the racking.

Mummy removed four huge bags of nappies, which almost completely filled the cart, and I carefully stared straight ahead as we moved on. The bags were huge, and showed a much younger child staggering across a nursery dressed only in a rather bulky nappy. I tried to pretend I wasn't really with Mummy, and then tried to imagine that they weren't really for me, but for my little sister. Then a sharp pang hit me - I no longer had a little sister, not in this world at least.

We walked down several other aisles, and I was wishing that we could walk straight out, but Mummy took down some dresses on hangers and offered them up against me to check the size, asking me how I liked the colours. I tried not to express an opinion, or do anything to delay us getting out of there, and tried to look the other way as Mummy added a dress to the cart, thankfully covering the picture of the little child and her nappy, and then added a few more items from a nearby rack.

I was very relieved when we finally got home. I found Daddy in the garden taking down the dry nappies from the washing line, and he gave me a hug and a kiss. Then Mummy called me in for tea. It was just three of us sitting at the table, and a gap opposite me where Angela used to be, but it seemed to be a slightly smaller gap than before.

[Pollyanna Fleshman]

I loved this story, and I read what you have written all the way through. Good job as always. When Angela died of SIDS--that is what I presume--I cried a bit because I had memories of my own daughter dying and finding her dead in the morning. But, good job. I can't wait until you write more. You know I'm always one of your loyal readers.

[freswith]

Thank you Pollyanna. Yes , it was SIDS, and I was a bit worried how you might take it, but I wanted to give the story an "edge" and to show how each of the characters would cope with the situation. There's quite a lot to come as many of the plot line are already established and I can cover them from Vickie's viewpoint although, as ever, putting in the diaper angle can be difficult.

[freswith]

Mummy.

Mummy kept her word to the letter, and over the next few days I wore nappies all the time. Fortunately the new type was much less bulky, and I could even fit my trousers over them, but Mummy seemed to prefer if I wore dresses. She said it made it easier to change me. I relaxed a little, and since it seemed to be expected of me, I wet the nappies whenever I felt like it, and Mummy never complained or scolded me. I got used to having a bottle of milk to take to bed, but when Mummy tried to put a dummy in my mouth, I protested furiously at the indignity, and eventually she relented on that one.

The new night-nappies came, and were a little less bulky than my previous fit of two baby nappies, and seemed to keep me a bit drier; they were certainly more comfortable. I made other trips into town with Mummy, but they weren't so embarrassing, as the new type of nappy was much less bulky, especially round the sides, and the dresses I wore were long enough and loose enough to conceal it, and she had some big pants that went over the top and helped. We made one trip to the chemist, where I had to wait a long time for Mummy to get some pills, and so I sat on a chair, swinging my legs, looking at a huge stack of nappies and trying to pretend that they weren't anything to do with me.

I liked the attention at first, but gradually I realised that Mummy was always very close to me, looming over me, and I wasn't allowed to play on my own like I used to. If I went out of the room, she called me back, and if I didn't come straight away, she would come after me and fetch me back. If I weren't within sight she would call my name, again and again, faster and faster and more and more desperately, running round and round the house until she found me, when she would start to scold me and then burst into tears. She would then talk to me, and talk and talk, but although the words themselves made sense, she never seemed to get to the end of a sentence, and it never seemed to go anywhere. If I started to reply to her, she would always interrupt me after only a few words, and carry on talking and talking. If I fidgeted or tried to go away, her voice would rise and she would talk even faster, so I learned to stand quite still. I even had an accident once while she was talking to me, and then at least she stopped while she took me for a change. Eventually she would go and take one of her tablets, and be very calm for a time. My toilet visits seemed to get limited, and quite often I had to wet my nappy because Mummy wasn't able to take me to the toilet in time. She wouldn't let me go by myself because she said that I couldn't put the nappy back on properly, which was true, but I argued that if I could go to the toilet I wouldn't have to use the nappy anyway. I lost the argument.

Bedtime got earlier and earlier, and I had an argument with Mummy over the time. She hadn't realised that I could tell the time from the clock, and I knew exactly how many minutes were in an hour, and how many hours in a day, and what my bedtime was supposed to be. I lost the argument.

Mummy made me use a spoon for my meals, although I could use a knife and fork, and was proud of the fact that I could eat tidily without spilling it all. She put a big bib on me just the same, and gave me my drink in a baby sippy cup. I argued that I didn't really need any of it. I lost the argument.

Eventually, during one of the lessons I was taking from Daddy, I burst into tears when Mummy started calling me, and when she came rushing into the room he caught her and held her while she sobbed. He then took her to the bathroom to have one of her pills, but her hands were shaking too much to hold the glass, and he eventually had to hold it for her to drink from like a baby. After that he took her into the bedroom and put her on the bed for a nap, and drew the curtains. Then he came back to me in the study, closed the door, and sat me on his lap while he listened carefully to all my woes. I found I had some difficulty in getting my words out, as I couldn't seem to get them started; I was afraid I would be interrupted and stopped like Mummy always stopped me, but Daddy didn't stop me, although he began to look more and more worried.

Eventually I had said all that I could say. I felt it was as though I had passed a big poo from out of my mind. Daddy hadn't argued with me, or interrupted me, and I was feeling much easier and I no longer stuttered my words. Daddy spoke slowly and quietly to me and said he'd noticed how Mummy had been treating me, but had not seen how much she was doing it. He would have to talk to somebody about it, and would see what they could do. He would have to have a long talk to Mummy, too. He looked at me and asked if I felt tired now, and I realised that all the effort and all the excitement had made me very tired. He suggested I take a little nap while he made some phone calls, and I nodded. He picked me up, carried me through to my bed, and laid me on top of it, and tucked the fleece throw around me before drawing the curtains. I don't even remember him leaving the room.

Mummy was very much calmer that afternoon, and left me much more to my own devices, and I felt much happier being able to play in the garden and in my room without interruption. I noticed there was quite a long line of my nappies hanging on the washing line to dry, and saw how much bigger they were. There were some plastic pants there too, in the bright colours I'd chosen. The lady next door actually looked over the fence at one point, saw me and asked how I was. That was nice of her, and it wasn't until later that I remembered I'd only had a T-shirt on at the time, and my nappy must have been in plain sight, but then all my other nappies had also been hanging on the line as well, and so there wasn't much I could do about it. I just hoped she understood. She had a little daughter too, but she was a bit older than me. Perhaps her daughter wore them too.

That night I was put to bed at the proper time. I lay awake for a long time, because I had become used to Mummy looking in several times before I went to sleep, and I heard someone come in the front door. Then there was a murmur of voices from downstairs. I wondered who it might be, but, of course, I wasn't allowed to leave my bed. I thought of Juliet and Amelia, and then of what Amelia would have done. I slipped very slowly out of bed, and crawled softly up to the door. The landing was empty, so I crept out to the head of the stairs. All I could see was a big leather bag standing in the hallway, and a drone of voices coming from the lounge. I went to the head of the stairs, but I didn't dare to go any further because I knew of the creak on the third step down. The drone of voices came from the lounge, and I recognised Mummy's and Daddy's voices, but the other one was a stranger. I couldn't quite make out what was being said. Then I remembered the voice. It was the doctor, and that was his bag standing in the hall. Just then there was movement from downstairs, and I slipped back to my bedroom and got into bed just as the grown-ups came into the hallway. I heard the front door go, and then Mummy's footsteps coming up the stairs. I snuggled down and pretended to be asleep, and I heard her come into my bedroom. She stayed there for a few moments, and then went out again. I felt very pleased about my little adventure.

Daddy came in to wake me up the following morning. He said Mummy was sleeping in and he told me to take my nappy off, clean myself up and use the toilet. I was happy to do so, and when I came back into the bedroom he returned. I went and stood ready by the changing table, but instead of taking a nappy out of the bag, he went to the chest of drawers and took out a pair of my pants. He looked me in the eye and asked me if I could manage without nappies today, and I nodded vigorously, so he told me to dress myself. I asked him what I should wear, and he said I could wear anything I liked, but it was going to be warm today.

I went down to breakfast in my pink top and my white shorts. It felt quite strange to be back in "proper" clothes, and I enjoyed the sense of freedom, and the lack of the clammy nappy warmth around my groin. Mummy came down, still in her dressing gown, and looking rather bleary. She came past me and gave me a quick kiss, but made no comment about my clothes, although she must have noticed that I hadn't got a nappy on. I held my breath waiting for the outburst, but it never came. I didn't have a bib on, and she made no effort to correct that either, and I had a knife and fork. I ate my breakfast very, very carefully, because I didn't want to get anything on my nice pink top, let alone my white shorts, and I wanted to show that I could still do it.

For once, Daddy wasn't reading the paper, and part of the way through breakfast he told me that we were going on holiday. He had arranged for us to share a villa in France with Uncle Bill and Auntie Pat, and I asked if Juliet and Amelia would be there. He replied that Juliet was in India, and so I would be sharing a room with Amelia. That sounded like it was going to be huge fun, and I said so enthusiastically. Mummy began to brighten, said it sounded much better than last year's two weeks in the Lake District at Mrs Grendel's, and both she and I would need some nice new clothes to go there. For a moment I was confused; I had a horrible idea of what Mummy's idea of new clothes for me might consist of, and I didn't want to be dressed in rompers, but I put it out of my mind. The prospect of spending time with Amelia was much more appealing.

[freswith]

Amelia

Mummy got me up at such a ridiculous hour that I wasn't even wet. We had a ferry to catch, and so I was dressed swiftly and without ceremony. I managed to delay the proceedings while I negotiated for a Free One, and Mummy was in such a hurry that she granted the privilege straight away. I had thought that I would wear my shorts, but Mummy suggested that I wear a dress, because it would conceal my nappy and make changes much easier. I wasn't exactly thinking of needing any changes, but the idea of concealment sounded like a good one.

I fell asleep for most of the drive to the port, and we met up with Amelia and her parents before boarding the ferry. Amelia was also wearing a long dress, and I could guess why. I asked her if she had a free one too, and she just nodded. I felt much better for that.

It was the first time I had ever been on a ship, or to sea in anything for that matter, and I was surprised that we had to leave the car behind in the middle of the ship while we went upstairs to the big lounges. I noticed that Mum took a large bag out of the car with her, and I saw her put a couple of changes in it. I was determined that she wouldn't need them, and thankfully she took me straight to the toilets when we reached the passenger decks. As we came out, we met Auntie Pat and Amelia going in, with the same idea in mind. Auntie Pat also had a big bag with her, but Amelia wasn't looking so happy. I could guess why, but I didn't ask her. I just hope I can get dry before I'm ten; it would be dreadful to be nearly grown up and still wetting my nappies.

I went on deck with Daddy to watch the ferry casting off from the dockside, and then to look at all the other ships as we left the harbour. Daddy pointed out the long grey warships that Granpa used to command, and then it began to get cold and windy so we went down to the lounge and rejoined the rest of the family for breakfast. After that I played with Amelia, making a card-house out the cardboard mats on the tables. There was a playroom on the ship, and I enjoyed riding on the slides and swings, and romping in a room full of plastic balls. I was a bit afraid that other children could see my nappy, but I could occasionally see Amelia's, and she didn't seem to be too worried, so I stopped caring.

Mummy took me to the toilets just after lunch and changed me. I wasn't wet, but she said I was due for a fresh one anyway. She insisted that I use the toilet, and I was grateful for the chance, although I still resented being nappied because it meant I couldn't go on my own.

When we landed in France it was suggested that I travel in Uncle Bill's car, where I could share the back seat with Amelia. That was much more fun, and we chatted away, and played with our toys for a long time. It was a very, very long drive across France to the Villa, and Aunt Pat said that France was a much bigger country than England, but with about the same number of people. The villages were certainly much further apart, and the field were much bigger, and it was a very boring drive, so I was glad of Amelia's company. Every couple of hours we would stop, both cars together, and the adults would go for a toilet break, and offer one to us, but it was such a fuss with the nappies that we didn't always go. The toilets were very funny as well, without a bowl to sit on and I didn't like them. Eventually both Amelia and I drifted off to sleep in the back of the car, and when I awoke we were no longer on the big road, but there was still no sign of the sea. I wanted to have a pee, but I couldn't see anywhere that might have a lavatory. I asked Aunt Pat how much longer we had to go, and she said it wouldn't be long; we were nearly there. I waited for what seemed a long time, and then asked again, and received the same answer. I really did want to go now, but I was afraid to ask Aunt Pat to stop just for me, so, very carefully, I let it go into my nappy. No sooner had I finished than Amelia woke up and asked if we could stop for her to go to the toilet. We found a place to stop beside a wood, and Amelia and her mother went into the trees. Mummy and Daddy stopped behind us, and Mummy came and checked my nappy. She made no remark about my wetting, but simply changed me there and then on the back seat of our car. I felt very silly about not asking Aunty Pat to stop, and even more silly when we arrived at our villa ten minutes later.

Amelia and I were promptly pushed into the shower one by one, washed, dried, changed yet again, and put to bed. I asked Amelia if they were going to keep us in nappies for the whole holiday, but she replied they didn't normally keep her nappied except at nights and during the afternoon nap that everybody took, so I felt quite reassured.

I woke up early the following morning, but Amelia was already awake, and in the shower that adjoined our room. The sound of running water made me want to go badly, and since I was already wet, I just added to it. These new nappies didn't feel as uncomfortable when wet, so it wasn't a bother. Amelia came out of the shower wrapped in a towel, looked at me and nodded. "Wet or dry?" she said, and I had to reply wet, not that it was unusual. "Better take it off then, and use the shower." I looked at her aghast. I was never allowed to take my nappy off; Mummy always said I might wet again. I told Amelia this, but she just laughed. "We're on holiday!" she said, "Normal rules don't apply. Come here, and I'll take it off for you!" It sounded like a fair offer, so I got out of bed and waddled across the floor. Amelia reached down and without any further ceremony ripped that tapes back. The cool air hit me, and I realised how wet I really was. "Never mind!" said Amelia, "Get into the shower and wash off!" This was also new. I looked at the taps, and then asked Amelia how they worked, and she showed me. I enjoyed being allowed to take a shower by myself; it felt so grown up. When I finished I remembered to turn the water off, and went back into the bedroom where Amelia was now dressed. No nappy. She took my towel and rubbed me dry quite vigorously, asking me what I would be wearing today. I opened my bag and found my pink top and shorts. This was all new; and I began to wonder where Mummy and Daddy were, but Amelia helped me to dress - no nappy - and I even managed to put my own sandals on.

There was still no sign of the grown-ups and I asked Amelia where they were. "Still asleep" came the answer, "They're on holiday, and they usually sleep a bit late. Come and have a look round!" and she opened the window and walked right out. When I went over to look, I saw there was a balcony there, which ran right along the front of the house. Amelia touched a finger to her lips, and I stopped what I was going to ask, and followed her along the balcony on tip-toe. The next window was open, and Amelia listened carefully before stepping swiftly past it. There were some tables and chairs ahead where the balcony widened, and I went over and looked over the rail. In the garden below there was a swimming pool, with more tables and chairs.

"Oh, There you are!" came a voice from behind me. It was Aunty Pat in her dressing gown. "All dressed?" I nodded. "That's good. I'll make some breakfast shortly. Would you like that?" I nodded again.

"Where are Mummy and Daddy?" I asked.

"Still asleep. Be very quiet and don't wake them. Now come along into the kitchen and we'll put the kettle on."

Mummy and Daddy didn't appear for breakfast, but afterwards Aunty Pat took Amelia and me into the village to buy some fresh food. When we got back, I found that Mummy and Daddy were up and having their own breakfast. The sun was now quite hot, and I asked if we would be going to the beach. Aunty Pat said I could try using the swimming pool today and we would go to the beach tomorrow. The pool looked beautiful and I wanted to try it straight away, and so Amelia and I went and changed into our swimming costumes. When I got back, Daddy was waiting with two blow-up plastic things that he put on my arms. Amelia jumped into the pool making a great big splash, but I went very carefully down the steps on at a time, holding Daddy's hand. I didn't know how to swim in a proper pool, so I was quite frightened, but Daddy showed me that the plastic things on my arms would keep me afloat, and so I was able to splash around, even going out of my depth, and to play with Amelia without sinking. Mummy watched from the side, very nervously, but didn't stop me. I had huge fun all morning, although every time I came out. Mummy covered me with a lot of lotion. She said that I would get sunburned otherwise, as my hair and skin were much too fair for this amount of sunshine.

After lunch the grown-ups said that they were all going to take a nap. I wasn't quite sure about this, as I felt I was now much too old to take afternoon naps, but Amelia didn't hesitate and so I followed her example. No time was wasted. We were both nappied and bundled into our beds with just sheets over us, even though I was sure I didn't need it and wouldn't sleep. It was very warm, and full of lunch I fell deeply asleep. The sun was shining in at a quite different angle when I woke up again. Amelia was still asleep this time, so I wandered over to the window and the balcony, then saw the grown-ups sitting at the table on the end with a bottle and glasses. I wandered along to join them, and Mummy scooped me up onto her lap. Aunty Pat passed over a glass of fresh orange juice, which tasted marvellous. It was only when Mummy checked my nappy by slipping a finger in the leg hole that I remembered I had one on, but we were all family, so it didn't matter. I was dry anyway, and so she just left me.

I was still sitting there waiting for bath time - that is, trying not to be noticed - when Mummy said that everyone would be going out that evening. I started to protest, as I really didn't want to be left with a baby sitter when Mummy laughed and sid that everyone included me. If I'd taken a nap in the afternoon, my bedtime would be that much later as a result. I was delighted. I certainly wasn't ready for bed, and the idea of going out in this soft evening light sounded very grown-up. Mummy took me back to my bedroom, and as she was getting my dress out, I took my nappy off; if Amelia could do it, then so could I. When mummy turned round I was already in my pants. She stopped dead, looking at the nappy, and started to say something, but at that moment Daddy came in and she stopped. She looked at Daddy, then took my dress and slipped it over my head. I'd won the battle.

The evening was huge fun. I was allowed to stay up later than ever before and to have real grown-up supper, and I was very careful of my table manners, and very, very careful to avoid having an accident. I wore a nappy that night, of course, that was normal, but I still felt I'd made progress.

The rest of the holiday went very well. I spent a lot of time with Amelia and Aunty Pat, partly because Mummy and Daddy seemed to be in bed an awful lot. Amelia taught me how to swim, and gradually they let the air out of the armbands until I didn't need them at all, and Daddy called me his little frog. I took naps every afternoon when it was very hot, and wore a nappy for them, but only used it once or twice. I established the right to take it off myself in the mornings and after my nap, and Mummy accepted it. She had changed such a lot during the holiday, and no longer needed her pills every day. I didn't get sunburnt as Mummy was always plastering me with lotion, but I did get nice and brown, and my hair got lighter and lighter, until I looked entirely different. I even made the whole trip back without wetting my nappy even once, and even though we returned to the cold grey skies of England, I felt that I'd brought the sun with me. The only thing I missed was Amelia. It was so nice having her around like a big sister, and suddenly it was back to being just the three of us again.

[alex 04]

nice update hope for more soon

[freswith]

Thank you very much for your encouragement, I'm glad somebody reads it! More next week.

[dyperaby]

I look forward to each week's addition. Please keep up the excellent work.

[freswith]

Big Susie

School started soon after we got home. I was in a bigger class now, and was surprised to see children even smaller than me in my old classroom. It was only after a few days that I realised that the other children were whispering about me, shooting sidelong glances as they spoke. I tried to ignore it, but I found they didn't want to speak to me any more. Eventually I asked Big Susie what was going on. She looked very worried, and then told me that people were saying that I was still in nappies. I felt myself blushing, and made the point of lifting my skirt to show that I didn't wear them. Susie looked, nodded and said that she didn't really think I did, but that the other children were really jealous of me because I always got my sums right, and was the teacher's pet. She said it didn't matter to her what I wore, as I was her bestest friend, but some of the other children were sneering.

It came to a head in the playground a few days later. I found myself cornered by a gang of children, including Hugh and Shirley, who always seemed to be at the centre of things. It had been Shirley's mother who had looked over the fence and seen me in a nappy, during what I now recognised as Mummy's "Difficult Time". Shirley recounted that I had been wearing a nappy in my garden, and the washing line often had nappies on it, even though my baby sister had died weeks before. She said it was well known that I wore them every night and sometimes during the day and I was thus just a baby and not a proper girl, no matter how clever I was. I couldn't answer them without lying, and I don't lie. Not just because it's wrong, but because I just don't lie; it would be like putting the wrong answer at the bottom of a sum: it simply didn't happen. I was trying to think of something to say and trying not to cry when Big Susie appeared in between us. She squared up to Hugh and Shirley, with her arms akimbo, and stood her ground. She told them that their claim was a load of rubbish, and they should prove it or withdraw. The other children started to edge away, and some space opened up around us. Hugh took a step backwards, then Shirley did too, and then the crowd dispersed.

I was still trying to stop crying, and not being very successful. Big Susie put an arm around me, and another girl, Midge, came and held my other arm. The tall thin boy called Alan was still hovering close by, obviously wanting to speak but not actually saying anything. He was always very shy and seldom spoke. When the bell rang for the end of break, we all went back to the classroom close together, and I found them all sitting at the same table as me. As I straightened myself up, I realised that we now had a gang, and I felt much better because of it. I made a point of helping them all with their sums, and soon forgot about the scene in the playground. With my new friends around me I felt safe and warm.

At the end of the day we were all walking out to the gate when a car came down the road making a howling noise and with a flashing blue light on top. I stopped and froze. Midge asked me what was wrong, and I told them about the night Angela had died, and those blue lights had been all round the house, flickering into the nursery. I said that I thought they were the angels who had come again, perhaps to take one of us. Big Susie roared with laughter and told me not to be so silly. They were carried on the cars of policemen like her daddy, and were only chasing after crooks. Sometimes they were carried by ambulances when they went to help sick people, and that must have been what I'd seen. Angels flew in with their wings and were silent, and watched over me. I accepted what she said, but couldn't help feeling that I would be happier if they went and watched someone else; they seemed to be a bit of a mixed blessing as far as I was concerned. I would be happier with a policeman, or just a policeman's daughter for that matter. Susie was my bestest friend, and I told her so.

At the gate we went our separate ways, Susie and Alan went one way and Midge and I the other. I could see Mummy waiting for me beside the car, and stopped to tell Midge. Midge looked, and then leant forward and whispered to me. She said that she often wetted the bed, and her Mummy had threatened to put her back into nappies, and she absolutely dreaded it. I looked at Mummy. She was waiting for me, and I only had a few moments, so I whispered back to Midge that I would talk with her tomorrow, but not to worry, as it wouldn't be the end of the world. She nodded, and we went our separate ways.

On our way home Mummy told me that she and Daddy were going out tonight and so I would have a sitter. This was always bad news. I certainly didn't want to be bathed and nappied by the sitter; that was just too much, and Mummy wasn't going to let me go to bed without a nappy in case I wetted before she came back, so the result was that I'd get bathed and nappied ready for bed before Mummy left, and hopefully Mummy would get me out and pot me when she came back, however late that was. I still hated having to sit around for an hour or so in my night clothes before bedtime, and as often or not the sitter would pass some comment, or ask my if I needed a change, or worst of all check my nappy during the evening. There was no way I could go for a pee before bed, and so a wet one was almost certain, as I didn't want to tell the sitter that I needed the toilet because she would remove and refasten my nappy, and I couldn't stand the humiliation. As a result I would just have to do it in my nappy and wait for Mummy to have to change me when she got home.

I had my supper earlier than usual, and it was followed by a quick bath. Mummy had just sat me down onto my nappy when I finally lost it. I'd had enough for that day, and I just didn't want any more. I told Mummy about all the problems I'd had at school because she had made me sit in the back garden in a nappy, and how the neighbours could see my nappies drying on the line, but she seemed to ignore me. I crossed my legs to stop her pulling the nappy up between them and restated my woes. Mummy started to get angry and said that none of it would be necessary if could only keep myself dry at night, and I replied that I did the best I could, but I didn't need all my school friends to know and I didn't need to wear them in the day. Mummy riposted that I was wet in the day quite often, I'd had accidents in the car and on shopping trips, and she would be the one to decide when I would be in nappies or not, as I couldn't be trusted to decide that for myself. She tried to uncross my legs, but I resisted her with all my strength. She then raised her hand and said she'd had enough, and if I didn't let her put my nappy on she would give me a smack. I looked at her hand; it was awfully big. I thought of my bottom; it was very bare. I'd never been smacked on my bare bottom before and I wasn't anxious to find out what it felt like, so I gave in and uncrossed my legs. The ointment arrived almost instantly, and rather roughly, and the nappy followed moments later, and was pinned on more tightly than usual. Mummy shook out the pants and I raised my feet so she could put them on. I was pulled to my feet and the pants were pulled quite roughly up around my waist. Job done; I'd lost that round.

As Mummy was dropping my nightie over my head the front door bell rang, and I heard Daddy call to say he would answer it. Mummy said she expected it would be my new babysitter, and helped me into my dressing gown. I wasn't happy about having a new sitter, but Mummy propelled me towards the door and, waddling in the thickness of the new nappy, I went forth reluctantly to meet my sitter. Halfway down the stairs I recognised something familiar about the voice, but it wasn't until I went into the sitting room that I recognised her. It was Juliet.

I was delighted to see her again, and ran - as best as I could - into her arms. She picked me up and gave me a big hug, and all my worries vanished instantly. I asked her lots of questions, and she told me that she has started a course at the same big school that Daddy taught at, and would be living nearby for three years to come. That meant Forever! She expected to do a lot of sitting for me during that time. I don't remember Mummy and Daddy leaving, because I was talking so much to Juliet, and she was telling me all the news from that side of the family. I asked about Amelia, and she told me that Amelia had finally got dry at night and was now out of nappies. The news delighted me; I realised that it was true after all, that if Amelia could dry up and get out of them, then it was possible to do so, and perhaps I could do it too. I also realised that, sitting on Juliet's arm as I was, it must have been quite obvious to her that I was still in them, and for a moment my stream of questions came to an embarrassed halt.

Juliet lowered me slowly to the floor, sliding me down her body, and we sat down on the sofa. I began to tell her about the problems I'd had at school, but unlike Mummy she listened carefully to all my woes, nodding her head, and asking questions to draw more information from me. I told her all about how Mummy behaved after Angela had died - I had got used to the idea of Angela dying by now, and realised that the bit about angels was perhaps just a story - and of being put back into nappies all the time and the embarrassment it had caused me. I told her of how Mummy had always been so close to me and never allowed me to finish a sentence. I told her how she had checked on me time and time again, and how I found it so difficult to get back to sleep in between the constant nappy checks. I told her how I had finally appealed to Daddy, and how things had got better after that, and how Amelia had been so kind, and showed me not to take things too seriously and how to work the system to my advantage. Juliet grinned at that, and said it was so typical of Amelia, and then told me stories about how she had been left in charge of Gran's house and how Amelia had come to stay and caused all kinds of upsets. We talked and talked until Juliet checked her watch and declared that it was way past the time I was supposed to be in bed, and I should go straight away. I looked at the clock, and saw the little hand on the nine, and didn't argue; it was later that I'd been since the holiday in France, but while talking to Juliet I'd not noticed the time, and didn't feel tired at all.

Juliet took me upstairs, and without asking me she took me into the bathroom, unpinned my nappy and slid it down, and sat me on the toilet, telling me I couldn't come off until I'd done something. I didn't object because it was Juliet and I knew she was on my side really. I did something, and was promptly repinned and carried to bed, where I was tucked in with Teddy beside me, and kissed goodnight. My mind tumbled with all kinds of thoughts until one came up to the surface uninvited. If Amelia was now out of nappies, that left me as the only one in them, all on my own. It rather brought me down, and I cuddled Teddy closely until I felt sleep surge over me.

[Pollyanna Fleshman]

Um wow! I don't like Vickie's mother at all. She is very insensitive! If my children are troubled like that, I listen to them. Being all domineering like that and disregarding the child's feelings and the fact that bullying is taking place just adds more salt to the wound and shows a lack of compassion on the part of the parent. Wow! And just to think that there are insensitive parents like that in real life...

Way to go again. Keep up the good work. I love when a story can envoke a heartfelt response. You're a fabulous writer!

[babykeiff]

Wow, the Lilypad Press, London is up to its usual tricks.... publishing such excellent works that captivate and enthrall. It is an honour to be privy to such class. I love the new story, a view of the scenarios of the previous story from a child's perspective. Yes, it is sad that Angela died, but how you handled this, and how you are getting Vickie to handle this is masterful. It would seem that you would have to be Vickie in order to accurately portray her point of view at this age, which only begins to illustrate some of the skill you have as an author.

I am sad to see the ending of 'Phone Conversation', but thrilled to have had the delectation of enjoying it, and humbly thank you for giving me/us the unending thrill and pleasure to read same.

You are a credit to your craft, a connoisseur, a wizard and a virtuoso with the language, and I ask those better that I, in poets and composers, to do what I am failing to convey with mere words..... thank you.

[freswith]

Thank you very much for your fulsome praise; it makes all the difference. When I first started Juliet's Tale I was afraid that it would be reckoned to be child abuse or paedophilia, and so I am very careful to separate the diaper aspect from the normal healthy desires of a girl or a young woman. There's plenty of story to write as yet - I can take Vickie through all the previous stories as seen from her angle, and colour them in more deeply as I go. In particular I can flesh out Emma (Mummy) for better and worse, but she will stabilise in the next couple of chapters, and continue to develop.

I have tried to express Vickie's feelings in adult language and vocabulary, only a little simplified. She may not know what "embarrassment" or "humiliation" might mean, but she is certainly able to feel them; any child who has had a nappy change in public can do that. I don't use "baby talk" for her as I do not want to obstruct her ability to communicate, and I certainly don't want to patronise her. This is why it is mostly done in reported speech. It goes a little flatter in places than I would like, but the message comes across more clearly. I will allow her to grow up over the next few chapters, but hope to retain the child inside her, and show where her shyness comes from. I am particularly looking forward to exploring her relationship with Simon, although getting the diaper angle into this might be difficult - I will try to carry the reader's interest on with the strength of the rest of the narrative

I hope you continue to enjoy my characters as much as I enjoy writing them.

Thank you again for your comments.

[freswith]

Midge

While we were on the way to school the following morning, Mummy began to ask me questions about the trouble I'd had in the playground the day before, and I told her again about Hugh and Shirley, and how Big Susie had stood up for me, and how the others had been kind. I told her about the nappies on the line, and about being seen wearing nappies in the daytime. I had her attention now, and I made the best of it, and she actually apologised for being so abrupt with me the night before; she said she'd been in a hurry to go out and there wasn't time to discuss things fully then. For once she didn't just drop me at the school gate, but parked the car and came in with me as far as the classroom.

After the break our teacher said she was re-arranging the room, and I found myself moved to a table in front, with Big Susie beside me, and Midge and Alan behind. I was happy to see that Hugh and Shirley were now on the other side of the room rather than behind me, as they had been previously. I felt much better about this, and there was no more trouble from them I noticed that now, whenever I caught Shirley's eye, she dropped hers or looked elsewhere. There was no further confrontation, and I felt much happier about things.

During the lunch break, when we were in a corner of the playground, Midge raised the subject of bedwetting again. She said that her Mum had told her that if she ever did it again, she would be put back into nappies "like Vickie". I realised if it had got as far as parents knowing, then the news must have gone right around the world and everybody would know. I was digesting this when Midge asked again whether it was better to wet the bed or to wear a nappy, which I really couldn't answer, as I'd never actually been to bed without a nappy on, even when I was ill in bed during the daytime Mummy would always nappy me in case I went to sleep and wetted. I'd never experienced the feel of a wet bed and couldn't compare them. I was saved by Alan butting in. He looked around him quickly to make sure that only our gang was in earshot, and said it was actually much more comfortable to use a nappy, as you didn't wake up in a cold, wet bed and have a choice of waiting hours for Mum to come and sort you out, or calling for her then and there, and getting a real ticking-off, even a spanking. You could sleep in a wet nappy, and it was only unpleasant for a few moments when Mum took it off and made some sarcastic remarks. He said he rather wear a nappy than be spanked, and he'd rather wet a nappy than the bed. Being put in nappies at night was something you could get over, but he'd never been made to wear them in the daytime. I asked him if he wore the towelling kind or the throwaway kind, and he said they were always the throwaway type. He'd heard of the cloth kind, but couldn't remember ever having seen them.

I had been taken completely by surprise by Alan's admission, and I felt so much relieved that I wasn't the only child with this problem. I told him so, and he said he'd kept it to himself for so long that it felt very good to let it out amongst friends. Midge leant over and gave him a peck on his cheek, which Alan promptly wiped with his sleeve, but he smiled all the same. I put an arm round him and gave him a quick hug.

Midge said that her Mum had spanked her from time to time when she wet the bed, but it never seemed to do any good; she still wet the bed, and then had to lie awake dreading the eventual discovery and the usual spanking. Since she had been speaking to Alan and me she felt much better about it, and if her Mum threatened her with nappies again she wouldn't be anything like so frightened, as she knew there were other children who wore them. Our discussion was brought to an end when Big Susie, who had been close to us, called that someone was coming, and so we'd better stop talking about it. I'd almost forgotten that Big Susie was there, and was grateful for her warning. As the teacher walked past, we all smiled at her, and after a moment she smiled back.

I was feeling much happier at the end of the day when Mum picked me up, and when she asked me how it had gone I was able to tell her all the good news. I didn't tell her about the talk with Midge and Alan as that was a secret between us. She then told me that she had some good news for me, and she would tell me later. I plagued her to tell me now, but she was adamant; she had to speak to Daddy first.

When we got home Daddy had already come home from work. They don't work late at his big school, particularly on a Friday, and this was no surprise. I was told to go and watch television, which I gladly did, and after a while Mummy called me to come down. They were in the lounge, and Mummy sat me down on the sofa between them. Mummy started talking about lots of things, but then got on to the big secret. She told me that I was going to have a little brother or sister sometime soon. I asked when it would happen, and whether it would be a brother or a sister, and Mummy told me that it would be next May, and they didn't yet know which it would be, but they would probably get a picture before then. I asked where the baby was at present and why it took so long. Mummy took my hand and held it against her tummy, and said that the baby was in there, and would have to grow a lot more before it could be born. I asked if it would sleep in the cot in my room like Angela did, and Mummy paused for a minute. Daddy butted in and said that perhaps it would be better if I had my own room for a while as babies often made a lot of noise in the night. I was very nearly six now, and no longer had to be treated like a baby, and should have my own things around me. I thought of asking if that meant I'd no longer wear nappies at night like a baby, but something stopped me. True, I'd been dry this morning, but I was still wet more often than not, and I thought if I asked now, the answer would certainly be "No", and it would be a long time before I could ask again.

I hadn't seen Mummy looking so happy for a long time, and I was very careful to be good so I didn't break the spell. She called Gran and Aunty Pat, and they must have said something very funny because Mummy kept laughing and laughing and declaring that she didn't believe it, and it was about time. She told Aunty Pat to be careful because these things came in threes and she might be next. Then she said something about telling it to Juliet, which I couldn't grasp. When she put the phone down, she told Daddy that Uncle Percy was finally getting married, and when Dad's eyebrows went up she said it was in a bit of a hurry. I didn't get that either, but Daddy just laughed. I just don't understand grown-ups.

My tea was a bit delayed by all this, but it was a Friday and there wasn't any school tomorrow, and I was late having my bath. It began to sink in to me that if there were another baby coming, then I wouldn't be the only one left in nappies, which was quite a pleasant thought. I didn't want to make a fuss about having my nappy put on, and Mummy was still in a cheerful mood, so I just laid back and enjoyed it. Mummy used lots of ointment and powder, and it even made me sneeze, but when it was done and I stood up for the pants to be pulled up I realised it was thicker than usual. Mummy must have used one of Angela's old nappies inside it, and I asked her why. She said tomorrow was Saturday and they would want to sleep in a bit longer, and she wanted me to be comfortable. I wasn't very comfortable, but I realised what she meant; if I wet it wouldn't feel so bad and wouldn't have to go and ask her to change me. I didn't complain, but in order to spin the good day out a little longer I asked if I could go and wish Daddy goodnight. This was readily granted, and after my short nightie was pulled over my head and my hair brushed, I managed to waddle downstairs to kiss Daddy good night. He picked me up onto his knee and asked how I felt about the prospect of a new baby. I asked if it would be Angela come back again, but he shook his head gently, and said it would be an entirely new one, and would have to have a different name.

Mummy took me back upstairs and put me into my bed. I lay there for a long time thinking about the day, and how everything had been changed. I thought of poor Midge, who would now probably be lying in bed trying not to go to sleep in case she wet it, and faced the prospect of a spanking. I had only been spanked once, when I'd been very naughty, and had been horrified when I was finally picked up, bent over Mummy's knee, and was given three or four smacks on the bottom. The indignity had hurt more than her hand, and her hand hurt badly enough, so I had been good for a long time after that. I pitied poor Midge, then I began to think how lucky I was not to have to worry about wetting the bed because I was wearing a nice big nappy, I could wet it as much as I needed to, and not fear anything more than Mummy's frown in the morning. My fingers moved down to meet the soft plastic of my pants, then slipped inside the leg elastics to feel the towelling and I felt warm and safe and comfortable. Nothing could go wrong now. I eased my legs closer together and felt the cool smooth plastic against my thighs where the pants bulged out between my legs. I thought I would tell Midge that next time her mother threatened her with nappies, she should ask for them; it was much better than being spanked. I cuddled teddy with my other arm and subsided into a different world.

I was looking for the toilets in the school. I was walking and walking, looking everywhere, trying to get to them, but Hugh and Shirley were always in the way and all the other children were ganging up on me. I started to run, but every time I got near to the toilets they seemed to get further and further away, and I couldn't run faster because I had a huge nappy on and it was getting in the way of my legs and Shirley was telling me I wasn't allowed to go to the toilet because I wasn't big enough and I would have to do it in my nappy instead. Finally I managed to catch the door and pull myself inside where it was all cool and damp and I felt the cold stone floor under my bare feet and I just had to go and couldn't help it and then I went and only then did I wake up, back in my bed with a warm stream trickling down between my legs and creeping round my bottom. I drew several deep breaths as I realised where I was and what I was doing, then I relaxed. It was much too late to stop, so I let it all go, warm and damp inside my pants. I shifted my legs and felt it squelch further around my backside, and for a moment I worried that I'd really had an accident and wet the bed, but when I reached down, all I felt was the plastic of my pants, warm and smooth, and the dry bedclothes. I lay there exploring the sensation, and decided that if I was going to have an accident, this was not an unpleasant way to have it. I looked to the curtains, and saw only the slightest glimmer of light around the edges; it would be a long time yet before Mummy came to lift me, but I didn't worry. I was warm and wet, and nothing mattered. I thought briefly of Midge, who would have a spanking to fear for doing this, and I counted my blessings to have such an understanding Mummy. I knew that as long as I didn't move around too much the nappy would stay warm and the pants wouldn't leak, so I relaxed back into the sheets, and let my mind run on.

When next I woke it was Daddy standing over me, and the light was streaming in the window past the open curtains. I screwed my eyes up against the brightness, and returned Daddy's greeting. He said Mummy wasn't feeling very well and would be staying in bed for a while, and would I like a cup of tea? I said Yes out of pure habit, and then he asked if I had had a dry night. I had to shake my head, and admit that I hadn't. and so he pulled back the bedclothes and lifted me to my feet. Then he slipped his hands round the waistband of my pants and slid the whole package down my legs. The cold air hit my wet bottom and I groaned. Daddy said that I was very wet, and wiped me down with the baby wipes, before taking a fresh nappy from the cupboard and folding it onto the bed. I protested that It was morning and I didn't wear nappies, but he said that if I was coming into their room for tea, then I would have to wear one. I stopped objecting - early morning tea with Mummy and Daddy was always nice - and let him sit me onto the nappy and pin it up around me. With a fresh pair of pants on I felt comfortable again, and I was obviously considered safe enough to be allowed to crawl into bed beside Mummy while Daddy fetched the tea. There was a whole weekend ahead, and the world seemed a bright and friendly place.

[freswith]

Peter

We arrived at the hotel after a long drive, and I had spent much of the journey admiring my bridesmaid's dress, hanging from the hook above the rear seat beside me. It was a pale blue colour, and looked terrific. I could hardly wait to get it on and do my bit at the wedding, and I was jumping up and down with excitement. There were to be three other bridesmaids, Juliet, Amelia and another young girl of my age called Penny, who was the niece of the bride, Claire.

Mum and Dad had booked a room to change in, and we carried our things in and started to get ready. It had been a long drive up from Bristol, but I had taken great care to keep my nappy dry on the way up as today I was determined to be very grown-up, because it had been impressed on me that being a bridesmaid was a very important job.

I took off the dress I'd been travelling in, and Mummy removed my nappy, complimenting me on keeping it dry. I was allowed to use the toilet, and when I came out, Mummy was just unfolding a fresh nappy for me. I stopped dead; I hadn't been expecting this and nobody had told me that I would be in nappies for the wedding. I started to back away, but mummy told me not to be so silly; it had been decreed that all bridesmaids would wear them at weddings, ever since there'd been a terrible accident all over the church floor at a very important family wedding. I replied that I'd been dry during the day for a long, long time, and wouldn't need to wear one today. Mummy was insistent, spread the nappy on the bed, took my arm and manoeuvred me in front of it. I objected more strongly and started to cry. Mummy came down to my level, and begged me not to spoil the day for everybody, and how no-one would ever know I was wearing a nappy under the long dress, and how it would be a long ceremony and there was no toilet in the church, and how she expected that the other bridesmaid would be wearing them too. My eyes opened at this; I'd been told that Amelia was out of nappies, and I simply couldn't imagine Juliet wearing one, because she was all grown up. Mummy said that she had heard that Uncle Percy had insisted on Amelia wearing one, as she had been known to have accidents, and Percy certainly didn't want his wedding spoiled by all that kind of fuss. It struck me as logical, as Percy and his bride, Claire, had organised the whole wedding, specified the bridesmaid's dresses, and presumably specified their underwear as well.

I couldn't really refuse, if the others were wearing them, although I still didn't believe that Juliet would, so I allowed myself to be sat down on the nappy, and duly taped up. Mummy spoke soothingly to me and thanked me for being so good, and said that she would make it up to me with a special treat later. Just as the dress was slipped over my head, there came a lot of shouting from the next-door room, and I could hear Amelia's voice raised in fury. There were footsteps in the corridor and doors were opened and closed. After a few more minutes the voices dropped, and Mummy continued to dress me. She was doing my hair and entwining flowers into it when Gran popped her head round the door, and told Mummy that it was all all right, and Amelia had finally agreed. I didn't need to ask what she had agreed to, and when we assembled in the hallway a few minutes later, Amelia still had a face like thunder. I didn't need to ask why. The bulk between my legs was not enough to impede my walking, and an inspection of Amelia's rear didn't betray any unusual thickening. The romance of being a bridesmaid had suddenly worn very thin.

We were joined by the other little girl, Penny, who was my age and height, but had slightly darker hair. I wanted to ask her if her own nappy was comfortable, but it suddenly occurred to me that perhaps Mummy wasn't telling the whole truth, and Penny wasn't wearing one. I found that I didn't want to ask her in case the answer was "No" and followed by an embarrassing line of enquiry. I didn't ask Juliet, either. That would be just too much. All in all, it was better to shut up.

The wedding itself was much as I had imagined it would be, and Juliet guided the three of us into the right places at the right times, and it was all good fun. The organ music was quite loud, which pleased me, as the loudest sound I could otherwise hear was the rustling of my nappy. There were long waits while all the papers were signed, and longer waits while the photographer marshalled everybody for the pictures, and then we all went back to the big hotel for a big meal and a party.

Mummy asked me if I was wet, and if I needed the toilet. I replied no to both, although in retrospect it might have been a good idea to use the toilet at that moment, but the need was far from pressing, and the glittering table looked most inviting. I hadn't eaten since breakfast, and was very hungry. I didn't want to miss out, particularly if there were any horse derves to be had. Unfortunately it was more formal than that, and I had to sit at table and be served. We were sat at one end of the big table, and I was put between Mummy and a big old man who was introduced to me as Great Uncle Fergus. I didn't know what made him greater than other uncles, but it appeared that he was older, and had much more hair coming out of his nostrils, so perhaps that was it. Mummy explained that he was Gran's older brother, and then, in a whisper, that it was at his wedding that the bridesmaid had had the terrible embarrassing accident. I looked at him again, at his fierce face with all the hair, and wondered if that visage was God's revenge for having made such a mess-up in church.

Mummy tucked my napkin in the top of my dress so it wouldn't get stained, and we were served what seemed like endless courses until I was stuffed to the point of feeling ill. It seemed a terribly long time to have to sit there, and I began to shuffle my feet. I tried to follow some of the adult conversations, but they used long words I couldn't understand. Great Uncle Fergus was talking to Granpa about ships and war, and I just caught one bit where he said he was sure that he had scored a direct hit with his torpedo because he saw the ship's funnel give a great puff of black smoke; "Struck her square!" he said. I shuffled my feet some more, and began to realise that I wanted to go to the toilet, but I felt I could hold on. Then somebody banged the table, and someone else started to make a speech, which was long and boring, and I could only understand bits of it and didn't know when to laugh. The need became urgent, and I tugged Mummy's sleeve, and eventually got her attention. I whispered my urgent need but it was drowned in a great roar of laughter, so had to say it again before she understood. She nodded, and removed the napkin from her lap. I heard a noise behind me and turned round to find my face only a few inches from that of Great Uncle Fergus with his red skin and all his hairy bits. My body betrayed me, and I felt the warm wetness spread between my legs. I said something, and then Mummy made some remark and pulled me away. I waddled after her, feeling as if everybody in the room must have realised I'd just had an accident in my nappy.

Mummy took me back to the bedroom where we had started the day, and I held my skirts up as she took my nappy off. It fell to the floor with a thud, and she said it was very wet, and I should have told her sooner. I told her that I was doing all right until I was surprised by Great Uncle Fergus' huge head so close to mine, and to my surprise she chuckled. "He's a bit like that, isn't he. He used to frighten me too, and now he's even older and even worse!. Never mind, he's really very sweet and would never hurt you."

Something in her tone jogged my memory, and finally the penny dropped. "That bridesmaid who had the accident at his wedding," I said, "That was YOU, wasn't it!"

I can't say that I saw a puff of black smoke coming out of her funnel, but the effect was just the same. A Direct Hit was what Uncle Fergus had called it. Mummy's face, quite close to mine, began to redden, and then we both began to laugh. She nodded, and smiled.

"It was the worst moment of my life." She said, "That's why we insisted on you wearing a nappy today. Anything to save you from that!"

After I'd used the toilet, she took a fresh nappy from the bag and I made no resistance to being secured within it. After that little episode, I felt rather safer with one on, and besides, Mummy said that she hadn't actually brought any underpants for me as she thought I wouldn't need them. I was a bit miffed by this, but I understood, and I felt much better when she re-arranged my skirts and gave me a kiss.

By the time we returned, the speeches were all over and people were dancing. I saw Juliet dancing with a tall, fair man in a naval uniform, and I guessed it was the "Peter" she had spoken of so often. They were dancing in that funny, adult style, holding each other and going round and round, like they do in fairy stories. It was the first time I'd seen Peter in the flesh, and I thought how very good they looked together, Juliet with her dark hair with the flowers in it and her pale blue dress with the full skirt, and Peter with his fair hair and uniform. I took up a place on the stairs where I had a good view of the dancers. When the next dance started, Peter danced with Amelia, who although much shorter than him, and not held so close, was obviously enjoying it immensely.

To my great surprise, Peter came over to me and asked if I would like to dance. I said I didn't know how, but he said he would teach me, and he held my hands and murmured instructions to me, and although I think I did it all wrong, he didn't seem to notice or mind. I looked up at him, towering above me, and saw that he had a very nice smile which looked as if he was planning some mischief. I decided that I would like to have a boyfriend like that one day, big and strong and gentle. I wondered how you got one.

At the end of the dance, Peter returned to Juliet, and I found myself next to Amelia. I started to talk to her, but all her attention was on Peter, who was now dancing very slowly with Juliet's head on his shoulder. I envied her greatly, and wished that I could be all grown-up and able to dance like that. I shifted myself on the seat, and the bulk of my nappy between my legs reminded me that I was just a little girl, not quite six years old, and such things were quite beyond my reach.

By and by Percy and Claire reappeared dressed in ordinary clothes, and people began to move towards the front door. Juliet prompted me forward, and Amelia came along with Penny and a couple of other girls. Standing beside the car outside, Claire turned around, and tossed her bouquet. It went way too high for me to catch it, and too far out for Amelia, but Juliet caught it easily; it even looked like Claire had tossed it towards her deliberately. The party started to break up after that, and I was shuffled towards the door, still in my bridesmaid's dress. I said goodbye to Granpa and Grandma, and got a hug and a kiss and they gave me a small present, then I turned to say goodbye to Juliet and Amelia. Juliet picked me up and gave me a big hug, and then passed me over to Peter. He gave me another hug and, seizing the opportunity, I kissed him. He laughed, kissed me back and put me down. It felt very strange, and for a moment I thought I was going to wet my nappy again, but I think I managed to control it.

As we left the room, Mummy asked me if I needed the lavatory, as it was going to be a long drive back to home, and without waiting for an answer she took me into the toilet nearby. Afterwards she gave me a fresh nappy, but as I was leaving, I caught sight of Penny, on a similar mission; it was obvious she wasn't wearing one, and I hoped she hadn't seen mine. Once again I was the only little girl so attired, and I was a little annoyed that they hadn't told me the truth about it.

As our car was leaving, I opened the little present that Grandma had given me. It was a rag doll, with pale yellow wool for hair, and a long blue dress of the same material as the dress I was wearing. I fell in love with her straight away, and played with her for hours on the way home. I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I remember is the cold air hitting my loins. I was wet and being changed again, but this time it was a big towelling night-nappy and I was lying on my bed. As soon as Mummy finished I cuddled my new dolly to me and snuggled down between the sheets. I don't even remember Mummy leaving me.

[alex 04]

thanks for the update

[watsonlee24]

thanks good update

[freswith]

Thank you for your compliments, Sorry about the intermission - blame the volcanic dust from Eyjafuckyouruncle.

Here's the next episode.

[freswith]

Doctor Who?

I tried very hard to dry out, but it didn't seem to work. I managed several dry nights, and even four nights in succession, and I really thought I was making progress, but then I started wetting again. I felt very isolated now that I knew Amelia didn't wear nappies any longer, and I really wanted to grow up and get out of them, but time passes terribly slowly when you are only five.

At Christmas, we went to Gran's house again and although I was nappied for the whole time I managed to stay dry, and won Mummy's praise, which felt very good. It was strange staying there; they had a huge changing-table in the nursery and I was changed on that instead of on my bed as usual. Once again, I was the only child in nappies, and although nobody seemed to notice, I felt it keenly. I noticed that Aunt Claire now had a bump just like Mummy's, and was told that she was expecting a baby too. When I told Juliet how isolated I felt, she told me not to worry, because by next Christmas there would be two babies who would be getting all the attention and changes, so nobody would ever comment about mine.

By and by - and very slowly - my sixth birthday came around. At school my little gang consolidated itself; we helped Big Susie with her work, and she kept the bullies at bay. Midge displayed a fine skill at putting down the smarty-pants, and we backed her with orchestrated jeers. After a while they stopped bothering us and we made our own society amongst ourselves, and took comfort in it. It was my little gang that came to my birthday party, which was a small, simple affair, and so there were lots of good things to eat, and no shortage of them. I'd been very alarmed that Mummy might make me wear a nappy like she made me do at Christmas, but she must have realise how humiliating that would have been, and although I was nudged to use the toilet several times, the event passed without anything else passing uncontrollably.

We ended up in my bedroom where I was showing Midge and Susie my dolls, and Alan was pretending not to notice. I had almost forgotten about him when he quietly said "Are these them?" He was looking into the cupboard where they were kept. I froze solid. Midge struggled to her feet, and went to see, although I was willing her not to. Once she had looked inside she turned to me with despair, and said she was sorry. I felt my face burning, and was wishing for the floor to open up and swallow me.

"They're not like the ones I wear." said Alan. "Mine are all-in-one and have tapes at the side."

"That's the kind I wear, too." said Midge, "These are the old type, made of towelling, and pinned on. You need to wear plastic pants over the top, like these."

"What do they feel like?" said Alan, running his fingers over them lightly.

"Alan, come away!" said Susie, "It's not your business what Vickie has to wear at night. Not your business at all!" And Alan, sheepishly closed the door.

The spell was broken and I found my voice at last. "I didn't know you had to wear them, Midge?" I asked.

"Since Christmas." She replied, "Mum finally blew her top when I woke up wet every day over the Christmas holiday and then she took me down town and bought some. I had to stand there while she asked the lady what size would fit me. It was terrible. I dreaded going to bed that night, and I even ran away and hid in a cupboard, but of course, she found me, and dragged me out. I tried struggling, but she threatened to spank me, and eventually I gave up. It wasn't so bad once it was on, and I could hide it under my pyjamas, but the bulge at the back gave it away."

"Do you wet them?" I asked. It was her turn to go red in the face. "Sometimes," she said, "It's not as bad as waking up in a wet bed, but I still feel such a fool."

"I think I'd prefer the wet bed," interrupted Alan, "at least I wouldn't feel so babyish"

Susie looked from one of us to the others with open-mouthed amazement, then got to her feet, went to the cupboard, and looked in. She reached up to the nappies and touched them, then looked towards me with her eyebrows raised. I nodded. She took a pair of my plastic pants out and unfolded them, testing the elastic at the legs. "They're so big!" she said.

"Well, they have to go over the nappies and they're pretty big when they're folded." I replied.

"Folded?"

I took one of the nappies down and showed her how they were folded. She nodded sagely. "And then they're pinned here and here, with these," and indicated the pins stuck in the bar of soap, "...and they lock like this." I demonstrated.

"Do they actually lock you into your nappies then?" said Susie, horrified. "So you couldn't take them off if you wanted to?"

"I suppose I could take them off, but Mummy would be very angry if I did. I'm not supposed to touch them at all once they're on. It's just to stop the pins coming open and pricking me."

"What if you need to go? Do you have to do everything in your nappy, like a little baby?" said Susie, still horrified.

"No, I call Mummy, and she lets me use the toilet. I'm never dirty, it's just that I sometimes wet when I'm asleep," I was feeling more confident now. "and not every night. Not now. They're what-you-call-it, a precaution. Just-in-case."

"Can you walk with them on?" asked Alan. "They look awfully big."

"It's not difficult, although I have to waddle a bit. I don't think I could run. But then they're put on last thing at night, and I'm already on my bed, so I don't have to walk far."

"What if you want to go to the lavatory in the night?" said Susie.

"I don't." I replied, and then hesitated, realising what I had just said. "I just sleep, and wake up wet. That's the whole problem." I looked at Alan. He just nodded in agreement, then at Midge. She nodded too. Finally Susie nodded, in understanding. "I can see the point. My Dad would be livid if I wet the bed."

Our musings were interrupted by the sound of footsteps coming along the landing. I stuffed the nappy and pants back into the cupboard and closed it just as Juliet came in the door. Midge's and Alan's parents had come to take them home, and Susie's were expected any minute; my party was over. Something made me wish it had been over twenty minutes ago.

One morning I woke up feeling awful. Not only was I wet but when I sat up I started to feel dizzy. Mummy put her hand on my forehead and exclaimed; "You're burning up!" The thermometer revealed the worst, and I was guided to the bathroom - Mummy's bump was now getting very big so she didn't carry me - and my wet nappy was stripped off, making me feel even dizzier. I was rapidly washed down, dried, told to use the lavatory and then led back to bed. On the bottom of the bed was a fresh nappy, ready folded, and I climbed into the top of the bed as swiftly as I could and pulled the bedclothes up; I could guess what was coming. I pleaded, but to no avail. Mummy told me that if I was staying in bed then I was going to have to wear a nappy, just-in-case I fell asleep and wet; she didn't want all the paraphernalia of changing a wet bed while I was so sick. She pulled the bedclothes down, lifted my legs and slid the folded nappy underneath them. Then she asked me to lift my bottom. I refused. She told me sharply to do it, and I realised that her bump had now grown so big that she wasn't lifting anything if she could help it. With great reluctance and with some difficulty, I lifted my bottom, and she pulled the nappy up to my waist. Then she wiped some ointment on me, and a dusting of powder. I made no more than a token wriggle, but I wanted to underline my protest at being nappied in the daytime. On the other hand I was getting quite cold, and the skin on my aching legs seemed to prickle; even the soft towelling of the nappy seemed to have barbs on it as it was pulled up between my thighs. I now wanted the job done as quickly as possible so I could get warm again, and it seemed to take an interminable time to pin first one side and then the other. Mummy scrunched the plastic pants up, and I raised my legs, intending to swing them around so I could stand up, but she grabbed my feet midway, baby style, and slipped the pants over them, and pulled them up my legs. This time I raised my bottom without prompting as she pulled the waistband under it; I was really quite grateful that I didn't have to stand up because I felt so weak. Mummy pulled my nightdress down and then the blessed bedclothes returned to cover my tingling legs from the cold air. I snuggled down a bit to get warm again, and started to feel a bit happier about things; once in bed with a nappy on I felt secure against almost anything.

I had breakfast in bed, but I didn't enjoy it. Mummy made me use the toilet afterwards, which I enjoyed still less. It was quite a relief when she replaced my nappy and I was able to get back into bed.

It was a ridiculous situation. I was running across the meadow with Midge, Susie and Alan, and we were looking everywhere for Angela. Then we reached a great big wood and ran in amongst the trees. Suddenly I wanted the toilet and couldn't find it amongst the trees. I heard water running, and thought there must be a toilet there, but when I found it I couldn't get my nappy off in time.

"Wake up, Vickie!" said Mummy, "The Doctor's come to see you." I resurfaced, back in my bedroom, and there was another lady standing beside mother, holding a big handbag. I was now feeling very hot and sweaty as the Doctor took my temperature. She asked me a lot of questions, made me say "Aahhh" and looked at my tongue, though what she could tell from "Aahhh" was quite beyond me. The she pulled the bedclothes down, and suddenly stopped, turning to Mummy with one raised eyebrow. It was Mummy's turn to redden, and she explained my little problem as I tried to sink trough my mattress and the floor below.

The Doctor's attention returned to me. "Never mind," she said, "Lots of children wear them, you know." Yes, I thought, but not when they are six. Then she turned back to Mummy and said "I think she needs changing." Mummy reddened again, moved forward, and pulled my nappy down. I wasn't very wet, but it was enough. The Doctor stood back while ointment, powder and a fresh, soft nappy were applied, then she came forward again, examined my chest carefully, and pressed my tummy in various places. Eventually she straightened up, pulled my nightdress down and the bedclothes up. "Flu...." she said, and followed it with a lot of instructions, finishing with "....plenty to drink." I knew what that meant. Bed. And nappies. For days and days. "And let me know straight away if she develops a rash." Hardly likely with all the ointment that Mummy had just plastered on to me.

I lay back and listened to them talking as they went downstairs. I had something I wanted to do. I tried raising one eyebrow, on it's own. By the time the front door closed, I think I'd got the hang of it. Now to wait for the opportunity to try it out on Mummy.

[freswith]

There has been some discussion in "our lifestyle" which suggests that this kind of story is offensive to many members, and possibly illegal as it is about under-age children. I have made my comments there, but I'm still doubtful as to whether I should continue this story.

I have been very careful to separate the children from any form of sexual activity, but I cannot avoid other people who might be aroused by the descriptions and others who are disturbed by the thoughts of what other people might think. The aim has been to try to see the problem through the child's eyes and to sympathise with their problem. I also know that I am writing for an audience who will expect a certain amount of diaper content, and will find it arousing themselves. I have also tried to explore every aspect of the subject. It is not easy, as somebody else's turn-on is always the hardest thing to predict. There are fetishes for shoes, long hair, plushies, tattoos, fire, leather, furry animals and heaven knows what else.

I would appreciate some feedback as to whether to continue, or to take it all down, or whatever.

[jbz2079]

I have read your stories from beginning to end and always enjoyed them, they have never once lead me to think like that, I think that stopping posting them would be another step towards all this political correct crap that eveyone is always raving about.

Also as you say this is a diaper site and yes lots of underage children do grow up wearing diapers/ nappies weather you me or anyone writes about it.

I would like to think that readers on this site would be decerning enough to know the difference between a well written story and dodgy soft porn for pedofiles.

I hope you get the idea and carry on posting.

[watsonlee24]

Nothing wrong with this story

[freswith]

William

The next few days passed slowly. There is nothing worse than being stuck in bed with nothing to do except to feel ill. Mummy was very attentive, and seemed to be in every few minutes to check my nappy and to look for any rashes. Eventually I gave up protesting about being nappied, and realised that it was sometimes easier to wet them instead of making a trip to the toilet. I would get scolded, but a little whimper would deal with that, and I enjoyed the attention I received when she changed me each time. I did have the occasional accident, partly because I would take naps in the afternoon, and I would wake up wet then. Since I was also wet every morning, it was no big deal.

On the fifth day I was feeling a lot better, my temperature was down to normal, and I was fed up with being in bed. I had played every game I knew with every dolly I had, and I been through all the old books and the new ones that Daddy had bought me, and I wanted to get up. Predictably, Mummy told me to stay in bed. I waited until she'd gone down the stairs and got myself up. I felt a bit wobbly at first, but soon recovered my balance, and went over to the window to examine the world that had been forbidden to me, and then to my toy cupboard to see what entertainment might be made of an old toy and a lot of imagination.

I had just got the Lego girl into a difficult situation with Ginger the rag doll, when nature called. I continued to play with Ginger and Lego girl while I examined the options. I could call Mummy, but she would find I had been out of bed and scold me. I could do it in my nappy and carry on playing, but this was obviously heavy business, and I really felt that was too much. Or I could take my nappy off, go to the toilet, and put it back on again. Taking it off was forbidden, of course, but if I got it back on again I would surely have made my point. That was the obvious choice. It all went very well until I tried to get it back on. I had seen it done so many times; this bit went here, that bit went there, and the pin went through it all to hold it, but it didn't seem to want to work for me. I got into a dreadful tangle. Eventually I gave up, dropped the whole package onto the floor and stepped out of it. Then I gave it a kick for good measure, and returned to the toys. I had just thought of a good way to get Lego girl out of her predicament, and I wanted to do it before I forgot.

I heard Mummy's footsteps on the stairs. It was too late to do anything, so I decided to face the music. Mummy came in the door, and took in the whole situation in one sweeping glance. Then the argument started. I told her that I really needed to go urgently on a matter of big business, and she couldn't really argue with that. I told her that I couldn't put the nappy back on again; I might have succeeded with one of the disposables, but cloth was quite beyond me. She nodded at that. I said I didn't want to disturb her - and that went through, but she told me I should have stayed in bed even if I felt better, until she was sure my temperature was down for good. I couldn't argue with that and the upshot was that I was plonked back on the bed, and nappied with a disposable nappy despite my protests that it was unnecessary. I was told that I could now have a nap without worrying. I replied that I wouldn't be having a nap as I was now better, and was much too old anyway for such babyish things. I lost that one. At least Ginger and the Lego girl were scooped up and put in with me, so I could get on with my game, but I was told not to leave the bed again. When Mummy had left the room, and I had heard her go downstairs, I promptly got out of bed again, just for the principle of the thing.

I played duck and weave with Mummy for much of the rest of the day, until she came up at teatime - it must have been very slowly and quietly carrying the tray - and caught me fast asleep on the hearthrug with a rather soggy nappy. This time I lost the argument and accepted the scolding with due contrition. My temperature was taken, found to be normal, and Mummy's anger began to dissipate, and so I was topped and tailed, and changed into a fresh nappy, after which I was plonked back into bed. This time I stayed there.

I was allowed out of bed the following morning, but was still kept in nappies "as a precaution". Mummy put me in a sort of all-in-one T-shirt thing over a pair of tights which kept my nappy tight against me, but I would have found it very difficult to get my nappy off, and having it fall off was out of the question. With a skirt over the top, I was allowed the run of the house and, since there was very little in terms of a bulge, I soon forgot about it. After lunch I was "potted", and then put back to bed for a nap. I stayed awake out of principle. When Mummy came back an hour or so later I was able to refuse her offer of a change, and was able to smirk in self-satisfaction when she checked me, and found that I was indeed dry. She didn't take my nappy off; it was still on when Daddy came home and hoisted me up for a hug. He must have realised straight away, and I caught his quizzical look at Mummy. The following morning it was back to pants, and no further comment was made.

Eventually Mummy went into hospital to have the new baby. I wondered what happen to me while she was there, but it was easily solved as Daddy took some time off work, and Juliet came to sit me while he was at the hospital to visit Mummy. That evening he was out at my bedtime, and Juliet had to put me to bed. I was very shy and nervous because I had never had the sitter do this for me before, and although Juliet was my cousin and my friend, I was still very unhappy at having this indignity applied to me by anyone except my mother. Fortunately Juliet was very kind, and gave me almost no time to think about it, and made no attempt to persuade me. She just talked about other things while she wrapped me up, and it was all done before I even thought to protest.

We talked about babies, and I asked her if she would be having a baby. She laughed, and said she wasn't even married yet, it was at least two years away while she did her degree. I asked her if she was going to marry Peter then, not because I didn't know, but because I knew that once she got talking about Peter she would do so for some time, and that would postpone the dreaded moment when she would put the light out and I would have to go to sleep. I always liked to hear about Peter, too. I had met him several times when she brought him round to supper and he was always very sweet to me. She was on form that evening, and I think I eventually fell asleep while she was talking about him and his helicopters. One thing that I did remember was that she invited me to be one of her bridesmaids, which gave me a thrill, but two years is such a long time.

The following morning Daddy woke me with the news that I now had a little brother, and he was called William. I asked where he was, and if I could see him, but he said that he was still with Mummy in hospital, and I would have to wait until after school before I could go there.

I could hardly concentrate on my lessons, and when the bell rang I rushed to the gate to meet Daddy and go to the hospital. There I found William in Mummy's arms, and he was all pink and wrinkled and very tiny.

When Daddy was putting me to bed that evening, I thought of William. We were both in nappies now, but he was a tiny baby and I was a big girl. It upset me to think that I still wore them, and that I was still linked to babyhood in this way. As Daddy left me I determined that I would get out of them as soon as I could. The prospect of being nappied on the same table at the same time appalled me, and then the harder thought hit; William might actually get dry before me, and I would then be the only one in nappies, and forever inferior to him. I gritted my teeth - all except the missing ones in front - and resolved that I would never wet myself again.