Corrupt-a-wish

[Juliabam]

Granted BJ makes a full recovery from his unconscious (Scio = I know) state and relearns the English language so he can correct Julia's erratic spellings.

I wish Julia would stop mangling the English language; if a frog can spell, then why can't she?

Presumably Julia is thinking of town gas, which contains carbon monoxide, from which you are unlikely ever to recover consciousness. In the civilised world, we use methane, which is not toxic. Most would-be suicides then get bored with waiting to be poisoned, and some absent-mindedly light a cigarette...

To be honest, I think freswith, by pure accident swollowed a spelling bee, so wish not granted, insects will not be eaten dead or alive.

I wish freswith would learn to concentrate on something more valuable than other pee ples spelling..afterall I can spell TOAD and I know you hate it when I use that word!

[freswith]

Granted. I concentrate on something more valuable than jousting with Julia, such as doing my laundry.

I wish the snow will hold off for long enough for me to get to the laundrette and back.

Toad? Toad? Some of my best friends are toads. Mr Toad of Toad Hall, that well known motorist, is one.

[attends_99]

Granted, but once you're home it snows like its never snowed before and buries your house.

I wish I wish I hadn't squished that fish.

[underwhere]

Granted: you hadn't squished the fish. For your kindness, the fish swallows you whole and digests you.

I wish that everybody in the world would understand that diapers are the best form of underwear.

[Juliabam]

Granted: you hadn't squished the fish. For your kindness, the fish swallows you whole and digests you.

I wish that everybody in the world would understand that diapers are the best form of underwear.

Granted, from now on everybody in the world will refer to you as THE DIAPER, but because of your ever so foul mouth you will quickly gain the nickname "THE DIRTY DIAPER"

I hope underwear will come back to his regular self, before he starts smelling as bad as his name would insinuate!

[underwhere]

Granted: I come back to my regular self, but I still smell bad around Juliabam. Amazingly, nobody else notices the foul odor.

I wish Juliabam could learn to spell my name correctly, which should be spelled u-n-d-e-r-w-h-e-r-e.

[attends_99]

Granted. Julia learns how to spell your name, but continues to misspell it anyway just to annoy you. (we're on to you Julia! )

I wish you all the very best.

[Juliabam]

Granted, we all get the very best, but unfortunately that means you're left with the second best for yourself.

I wish attends_99 will be happy with the leftovers !

[underwhere]

Granted: we all get the very best out of life, but because you did not make this wish for yourself, the rest of your life shall be quite miserable.

I wish to banish scammers and trolls to their very own penal colony somewhere far away from the earth.

[freswith]

Granted, but there is a clerical mistake and you are included.

I wish the snow would stop falling and I could get out.

[underwhere]

Granted: the snow stops falling and you can get out. However, you forget to take your keys with you, and as you close the door behind you, you think, "Damn! How am I gonna get back in now?"

I wish I had ultimate control over the weather, so the weather could be whatever I wanted whenever I wanted it.

[crys_138]

Granted, but by the time you gain this control, the Sun has already exploded. Weather control is worthless once the atmosphere gets burned away...

I wish I had a couple of dollars for beer.

[underwhere]

Granted: you have a couple of dollars for beer. However, due to the freakish weather I have no control over at this point in time, a huge drought prevents the growing of grapes, a key ingredient in wine and beer, and although you now have the money to buy the beer, there is no beer available to buy.

I wish to win the Nobel Peace Prize for my future involvement in resolving conflicts between freswith and Juliabam.

[Juliabam]

granted you are signed in to win a nobel prize, but when the price commitee finds out that you think grapes are used in production of beer, you're banned from winning any prize ever.

I wish underwear will learn the basic recipe for beer one day!

[attends_99]

Granted...He learns the basic beer recipe and starts production. It doesn't sell and you are forced to drink it all by yourself (hope you have a large suplpy of diapers on hand to hold all that beer!).

I wish iTunes wouldn't crap out every time it has problems importing a CD.

[freswith]

Granted. Itunes doesn't crap out, it goes completely beserk and trashes your hard disc.

I wish this snow would thaw

[underwhere]

Granted: the snow thaws as global warming is taken to an extreme. All of the ice caps melt too, and half of the current land mass in the world is completely flooded and many people die as a result.

Because I'm such a silly person, I wish for snow in July and a heat wave in January every year from now on in the northern hemisphere of the earth. (It already is that way in the southern hemisphere as the seasons are reversed there, if my understanding of geography and geology is correct.)

[Juliabam]

Granted: the snow thaws as global warming is taken to an extreme. All of the ice caps melt too, and half of the current land mass in the world is completely flooded and many people die as a result.

Because I'm such a silly person, I wish for snow in July and a heat wave in January every year from now on in the northern hemisphere of the earth. (It already is that way in the southern hemisphere as the seasons are reversed there, if my understanding of geography and geology is correct.)

Granted, the switch in earths polarity have now taken place, and north becomes south and south becomes north, so now, the northern hemisphere has a heatwave in january. Sadly you will not notice the change unless you have a compass becuase the countries will stay in their fixed positions.

I wish to send underwear to a place with lots of heat, like Australia or so.. Maybe he can help them fight down those forrest fires they have so much trouble with right now..It might just make him wish he was back home in the colder weather again!

[underwhere]

Granted: I go to Australia and help fight down the forest fires. I become the lead person on the front lines of the fire, and manage to orchestrate everything just perfectly so that the fires are all put out safely and no additional homes are destroyed and no people are killed or injured. Subsequent to that, I form a committee to research forest fires and put together a plan of action which will prevent them from being so destructive, yet with an eye towards environmental preservation knowing that forest fires are an essential component of the regrowth of the forest. For my efforts, I am awarded a medal of honor and the keys to the Australian kingdom. I live out the rest of my days in a lavish lifestyle as a celebrity who will be written about in Australian history books for generations to come.

I wish, for the sake of simplicity in naming, that Greenland was more lush with vegetation, and Iceland had glaciers.

[Juliabam]

once again your wishing pulls punishment, and shame, over your head, Iceland do have glaciers, and some of the year some of Greenland actually is somewhat green. Now for not knowing so, you will have all honour titles aver awarded you revoked, you will be blacklisted in any history book, and you will for sure have to live out of a cardboardbox in a very cold and windy place.

I wish underwear had a bit more geographic knowledge

[underwhere]

Granted: After a Google search, I now have a bit more geographic knowledge, but now I probably know more than Juliabam!

I wish that I will not stick my foot in my mouth quite so frequently.

[freswith]

Granted. You attach a a little sign to your screen which says Engage Brain Before Putting Mouth In Gear, and all your posts become boring, and Juliabam hates you because she can't show her superior knowledge - or her mastery of National Geographic's "Primer for the Bewildered".

I wish a jökulhlaup in Julia's nappy. Perhaps a nice drumlin too. And an esker up her nose.

[underwhere]

Partially granted: I couldn't find any jökulhlaup at the local pet store, so I bought some scorpions instead. The drumlin was very hard to stuff in there, but she looks so cute with it pointing out just so....of course, the scorpions wound up biting her, and she has been in the emergency room since being fed a horrible tasting antidote for the scorpions poison. As for the esker up her nose, I put it there, and then took a water gun and turned it into mud when I sprayed it. As for the jökulhlaup in her nappy, I think there already was one there. She REALLY needs a diaper change.

Because Juliabam is obviously out to get me, I wish to give her a spanking so I can get her first this time.

[freswith]

Granted. You give her a sound spanking and feel much better about it, but she doesn't feel anything at all, and goes to sleep in the middle of it.

I wish that Julia doen't respond with nuclear weapons, as is her wont.

[Juliabam]

granted, no nuclear weapons, chemical weapons it will be then!

I wish freswith had not forced me to do that!