Corrupt-a-wish

[underwhere]

Granted, there are now diapers for "all here". Unfortunately, that matches the name of no person or creature on these boards. Therefore, they are stuck tantalizing us all.

I wish that people would pay me a million dollars an hour to sit around and do nothing.

[musicaddict]

Granted, however that's all you are allowed to do. You are now no longer able to enjoy life, even through a computer.

I wish I could write a letter to my younger self to give some advice and forewarnings.

[freswith]

Granted, you managerd to get the letter through, but as your younger self you dismiss all those warnings as being fuddy-duddy rubbish from some boring old fart who doesn't understand you.

I wish I could be 18 again - but knowing what I know now.

[BigBabyGurl30]

Granted, but now everyone thinks you are a crazy person and they stick you in the long-term, lock-down mental ward.

I wish I could communicate with animals.

[underwhere]

Granted, but now you know that all of the animals hate you.

I wish that people would pay me on time for the work I perform, and not play games with me. (I'm probably going to have to bring somebody to court over it.)

[freswith]

Granted, but when you get them there, you find it's really a tennis court.

I hope you get paid for your services.

[underwhere]

Granted, but do to a clerical error, I get paid for my serves, and as I am a terrible tennis player, I get paid nothing. (stupid corrupt-a-wish)

I wish that love, which also means a score of nothing in tennis, will find me and then never leave.

[BigBabyGurl30]

Granted, but this "love" thing stalks you and follows you around alllllllllllll the time and you now have no time to yourself.

I wish my backache would go away.

[freswith]

Granted. Your backache goes away from your back and relocates to your head.

I hope the doctor doesn't recommend amputation.

[babyterry]

Granted but he amputated your legs by mistake

I wish that the stupid twat that called me at work never calls again

[musicaddict]

Granted, they now visit you at work everyday.

I wish I type fast enough to keep pace with my mind when writing.

[BigBabyGurl30]

Granted, but then your computer explodes and you are forced to write on an old-school typewriter and you keep making mistakes.

I wish I had a reliable form of transportation.

[underwhere]

Granted: Out of Star Trek, you now have available to you your very own personal transporter device which can beam you anywhere you wish to go. Unfortunately, it is a defective model, and as a result, you wind up with pieces of you scattered all over the place.

I wish for some good glue to put BigBabyGurl30 back together again in one piece the way she was originally before this mishap with the transporter device occurred.

[musicaddict]

Granted. Sadly, it's a glue stick - not very effective - and she palls back into pieces.

I wish I could fix BigBabyGurl30's personal transporter device.

[BigBabyGurl30]

Granted. You get it all fixed, but then your arms fall off, like a old doll.

I wish I could get put back together , sans about 100 lbs.

[underwhere]

Granted, you get put back together, sans about 100 lbs. Unfortunately, the only way to accomplish that was to remove all of your bones. That means that you must move around like a snake.

I hope that a predator which normally eats snakes does not decide to make BigBabyGurl30 into lunch.

[musicaddict]

Granted, she becomes dinner.

I wish I didn't need to sleep.

[daddy-jonny]

Granted, but you go two days with out it and end up crashing hard

I wish to find many packages of vintage goodnites (all white ones)

[ultrapampers]

Granted: You find an entire cargo container full of them, but sadly the container had fallen overboard and all the Goodnites are waterlogged.

I wish I could spend a week back in 2005.

[underwhere]

Granted, but due to a time warping error, you wind up spending the rest of your life repeating that same week over and over and over, never able to escape.

I wish that ultrapampers doesn't go insane from boredom.

[Eir]

Granted, only you go insane in his place!

I wish I could get stuck in a soggy diaper, and need help getting it off from a cute nurse.

[musicaddict]

Granted, sadly you get a bad rash and the nurse is male.

I wish I had telekinesis and telepathy.

[BigBabyGurl30]

Granted, but now you can't stop teleporting yourself to the aid of EVERY SINGLE PERSON who calls for help, no matter how big or small the issue.

I wish ... I wish ... I wish for a really good/funny joke to make me laugh really hard.

[musicaddict]

Granted, sadly it's that infamous funniest jome in the world and you die laughing.

I wish I were more creative.

[freswith]

Granted, however your incredible protrait of GI Jesus in Abu Ghraib upsets the far Right, the far Left, the Centre, the liberals and the conservatives, the elite, the underclass, the freemasons, the Illuminati the Pope, the Pentagon, the Grand Mufti, the Wali of Swat, the media, Bill Brewer, Jan Stewer, Peter Gurney, Peter Davy, Dan'l Whiddon, Harry Hawke, Old Uncle Tom Cobley and all.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncle_Tom_Cobley

I hope you have a refuge far from the madding crowd.