Corrupt-a-wish

[:dlb]

granted, you have a new car.. insurance costs 1k a month and gas has risen to 15 bucks a gallon.

I wish for independence from foreign oil.

[underwhere]

Granted, you get independence from foreign oil, but domestic oil has equally high prices.

I wish I had a fairy godmother.

[:dlb]

granted, but she likes me instead.

I wish for my new fairy godmother to be nice and there when i need her

[underwhere]

Grantd. She is quite nice and always there when you need her to be. Unfortunately, that is never the same time as when you want her to be there, and she gets to be very annoying.

I wish for MY fairy god mother to like me.

[freswith]

Granted. Your fairy godmother likes you. Unfortunately she is now senile and casts a spell which turns you into a pumpkin.

I hope underwhere likes pumpkin.

[:dlb]

granted, she likes to throw pumpkins at your house.

hope freswith has pumpkin insurance.

[PeytonJ]

Granted, but it doesn't apply to rotting

I wish I was allowed to kill several people without getting in trouble with the law or being put on the death penalty list!

[BabyJune]

Granted: Check out the latest and most popular video games.

I wish we could jump right into summer and cut out the cold, rainy spring weather.

[:dlb]

granted, but it's gonna be a violent stormy summer.

I wish we could get more players back into Star Wars Galaxies.

[Yvhuce]

Granted. Unfortunately, they're all a bunch of elitist jerks who totally ruin the game for everyone else.

I wish I had the key from The Lost Room.

[:dlb]

granted, but while inside the room you lock yourself in without the key to get out.

I wish for a drink from Outback steakhouse called The Wallaby Darned.

[underwhere]

Granted, but the wallaby was not too fond of this idea, so dlb got trampled by the wallaby.

I wish for conjoined twins to be a more common occurrence in the world, without the negative medical effects often common to such people. (I think life would be so much more interesting this way.)

[Yvhuce]

Granted. Now, the majority of the people in the world are conjoined twins without medical problems. You, however, are still a singular person and everything is made for conjoined twins, and not singular people.

I wish the news was actually as described on the Daily Show.

[:dlb]

granted now news sucks

I wish they would stop over-using the BREAKING NEWS headline..

[underwhere]

Granted. The BREAKING NEWS headline has been permanently broken. It is now being replaced with a NEWS WE KNEW TEN YEARS AGO headline instead.

I wish tio have a fantastic memory, such that I would never forget anything ever again.

[BabyJune]

GRANTED: You remember everything but don't have time to get anything done because you're thinking all the time.

I wish there were six (make that seven) Saturdays in every week.

[:dlb]

granted, but you go crazy cuz you are always busy and active on saturday.

I wish when there is an earthquake on madrid fault that i'll be safe.

[freswith]

Granted; you will be safe, but the tsunami generated in Lake Michigan backs up your drainage system and floods your house with raw sewage.

I hope dlb has a good supply of deodorant.

[:dlb]

granted, i have plenty of deodarant.. but i honestly never use it because i never sweat.

I wish i could sweat, then i wouldnt overheat so easy.

[BabyJune]

GRANTED: You get a notice in the mail from the IRS that you're being audited.

I wish they'd hurry up and give me my tax refund.

[:dlb]

granted, you recieve 2 dollars

I wish for winning lottery ticket.

[freswith]

You obtain one. Unfortunately the original owner signed it on the back and so you are arrested for robbery.

I hope dlb has a sympathetic judge.

[:dlb]

granted, he even gives me a job

I wish my sis in law would get another job for a few months longer before baby due in november.

[underwhere]

Granted. dlb's sis in law gets another job for a few months. Unfortunately, the additional workload and stress causes a miscarriage.

I wish that i could say without it being censored.

[:dlb]

you can, open your mouth and say it, and get slapped.

I wish for my brother from Tuscon to move back.