Corrupt-a-wish

[Guest NaughtyAshes]

Granted, as your wedding guests attire must be customs.

I wish I had a cheat-cheat sheet for life, or a book with all of lifes answers.

Granted, Unfortunately it is written in invisible ink so you can't read it.

I wish Bambino's would restock their small classicos!

[Juliabam]

Granted, Unfortunately it is written in invisible ink so you can't read it.

I wish Bambino's would restock their small classicos!

Granted but to meet the customers demand for more of everything they now come with even more small than the old ones, unfortunately this means that the only ones they fit are your dolls.

I wish for that thing over there behind the red one with those little donnowhatheirnamesare

[freswith]

Granted, you get your whatnot, but it turns out that its really a thingme and you end up with a right howsyourfather.

I wish I had a runcible whatchyoumacallit.

[Jabez]

Granted. Unfortunately with such an object it vanishes quickly and so you only have it in your possession for a few brief moments.

I wish it were impossible to damage your teeth.

[underwhere]

Grante. Here is your runcible whatyoumacallit, though it is of dubious value without a jabberwocky talented enough to make use of it.

I wish that the greenhouse effect is a myth.

[Jabez]

Granted. The greenhouse effect is a myth and global warming is *actually* caused by the sun getting hotter so that in a hundred years or so life will no longer be sustainable on planet earth.

I wish for an orginization that deals with (confronts and corrects) doctors and dentists with poor bedside manners.

[Juliabam]

Granted. The greenhouse effect is a myth and global warming is *actually* caused by the sun getting hotter so that in a hundred years or so life will no longer be sustainable on planet earth.

I wish for an orginization that deals with (confronts and corrects) doctors and dentists with poor bedside manners.

Granted, but because of the organisations excellent lobby work, patients are no longer allowed to sleep with or near their doctors and dentists. This will unfortunately also cover being anaesthetised. Failing to be awake during operations or sex will release the doctor or dentist for all responsibility. Fortunately this law only covers USA.

I wish I still had whatever the thing freswith gave me was, but I lost in that deep thing outside that says these dontknowwhattheyarecalled like sounds.

[freswith]

I wish I still had whatever the thing freswith gave me was, but I lost in that deep thing outside that says these dontknowwhattheyarecalled like sounds.

Granted, you retrieve your thingme, but it has broken its whojamaflip, and needs another whatnot.

I wish I had a gizmo which could discombobulate this balderdash.

[Jabez]

Granted. Unfortunately this gizmo does not discern balderdash on its own and therefore must rely on it's owner which could be quite time consuming and require much effort.

I wish I had thingamajigger that acted as a bs detector.

[underwhere]

Granted. Here is your thingamajigger that acts as a bs detector. Unfortunately, since there is no ultimate truth, the bs detector is constantly going off, so it is of no practical use to you.

To solve this unfortunate problem, I wish that ultimate truth does exist and that I come to posess it.

[freswith]

Gratnted, the Gospel According To Freswith has just been published in forty-two weekly parts. Part One is now available from the Lilypad Press to subscribers at the special introductory discount of 50%: only £100 per issue to have absolute truth delivered to your doorstep!

I wish I had some ideas for the remaining 41 parts....

[Juliabam]

Gratnted, the Gospel According To Freswith has just been published in forty-two weekly parts. Part One is now available from the Lilypad Press to subscribers at the special introductory discount of 50%: only £100 per issue to have absolute truth delivered to your doorstep!

I wish I had some ideas for the remaining 41 parts....

Granted, you are full of ideas, but now you realize that old age made you forget how to write.

I wish freswith will forget I said that!

[freswith]

Said what?

I wish my memory was as good as it used to be; but then I can't remember how good that was.

[Juliabam]

Said what?

I wish my memory was as good as it used to be; but then I can't remember how good that was.

Granted, your memory is as good as it used to be, which places you in the record books as the first baby born senile.

I hope freswith remembers to flush!

[freswith]

Granted. Freswith has a servant to flush for him, after performing his principle duty, of course.

I hope the Job centre doesn't send Julia around for the advertised vacancy.

[Juliabam]

Granted, the jobcentre does not send Julia, because Julia is not working. Beside that they would never have send her fearing she would have flushed while freswith was taking a bath sending him sliding down the waterpipes.

I hope freswith remembers to whistle during his bath, so the helper will not flush him (who would flush a whistling pile of s...)

[freswith]

Granted. Freswith loves to whistle in his bath, which takes many hours each day to go through the whole process including the caldarium. In particular Freswith enjoys shatering the chandeliers in the frigidarium with his rendering of Beethoven's 1812 complete with shotgun accompaniment.

I hope that Julia's squalid litle peasant-trough is enough to keep her decently clean and prevent nappy-rash.

[singner]

Consider it done, driver. You have raced long and hard and your wish is to be granted...

Too bad that's all it did, though and it did not manage to prevent the flesh-eating staph infection. Better luck next time.

I am Calypso and I thank you for playing Twisted Metal!

I wish that Bambinos would combine their technology with the outstanding face of ABUniverse's product.

[Dougie]

Granted. Bambino went to a "single tape" system. Now you have a choice of the left or the right, but not both.

I wish my kidney stone would hurry up and pass.

[freswith]

Granted it passes with immense "discomfort" and then you get gallstones...

I wish I could get my sportscar repaired.

[underwhere]

Granted. You could get your sports car repaired. Unforuntately, they stopped making the parts to repair it, so you'll have to settle for repairing it with a combination of Bambino Classico diapers and wood glue.

I wish that the number 6 did not exist.

[leafy kille]

granted there is no number 11 since we all now work in base 5!

i wish for someone to tell me correctly when ill run out of nappies if i have 123 left and i use exactly 4 each day. (note it is friday evening 6th of august and i have already changed into my night nappy for today)

[underwhere]

is that 123 is base 5 or 123 in base 10? If its base 5, that would equal 38 diapers in base 10, in which case, using 4 diapers each day, it would only take you nine and a half days to run out. If you meant 123 in base 10, it would take you almost 31 days to run out. Because I do not know which base in which to answer your question, you will run out of diapers before you have a chance to get any more. When you go to get more diapers, you will discover that, due to the world economic crisis, all diaper manufacturing plants have laid off all of their employees, so no more diapers are being produced.

To fix this, I wish that it was much easier to manufacture diapers at home.

[freswith]

Granted. You receive a bolt of terry towelling, a needle and a roll of plastic sheeting.

I wish the special diaper elastic that I've ordered would arrive soon

[Juliabam]

Granted. You receive a bolt of terry towelling, a needle and a roll of plastic sheeting.

I wish the special diaper elastic that I've ordered would arrive soon

Granted it arrives but their measuring tape was to short or you're size have grown since order, so you can now only make nappies that fit around your ankle.

I wish freswith would just use disposable and start watching sports like a man instead of playing with his sowing machine:)