Corrupt-a-wish

[underwhere]

Granted: You can now fly. However, you have absolutely no control over where you fly, so you fly directly into the path of an airplane and die upon impact, also causing the airplane to crash killing 47 passengers and 3 crew members.

I wish that Kermit the Frog was real.

[Juliabam]

Granted: You can now fly. However, you have absolutely no control over where you fly, so you fly directly into the path of an airplane and die upon impact, also causing the airplane to crash killing 47 passengers and 3 crew members.

I wish that Kermit the Frog was real.

Wish granted, Kermit is alive, and he even posts on this board, under the name of underwhere..

I wish underwear and freswith will connect and live happily ever after as a couple.

[freswith]

(Welcome back Julia, it's been very quiet without you. Where have you been?)

Yes we live happily ever after, like Laurel and Hardy, or Holmes and Watson.

I wish Julia a full recovery, no more pink elephants or or blue snakes, or empty bottles cluttering the house!

[Khoraz]

Granted. Now you just need to deal with the green monkeys, orange spiders and sour milk in those bottles!

I wish to win the lottery so I never have to work another day in my life.

[dave_the_baby]

Granted, you win the lottery. However, all the money is counterfieted!

I wish I could change my bodily functions at will.

[underwhere]

Granted: You can now change your bodily functions at will. Unfortunately, you had to be struck by lightning four times before that would happen, and you were dead after the third strike. The fourth is what caused your bodily fluids to come out, in blood.

I wish I had a computer hard drive which was self-expanding, such that I would never run out of space to store computer files. As much hard drive space as I needed and then some would be available on this hard drive at all times, regardless of how much hard drive storage I required.

[leafy kille]

granted, however the amount of power required to be able to create new memory is so much that you are the proud owner of a 9 figure electricity bill as well as an unlimited hard disk.

i wish my pooh didnt smell so bad

[Lil_Miss_Ruffles]

Granted: Your poo smells significantly better but alas, you've developed allergic reactions to eating anything other than flower petals and you fart a lot. On the other hand, people enjoy having you over as you're now a walking room deodorizer.

===============================================================================

I wish I were very petite and dominated by a controlling "mommy" with a penchant for corset training, diapers, petticoats, and little girl Easter dresses.

[freswith]

Granted; unfortunately your "mommy" turns out to be the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Kraal, who then devours you.

I wish Julia would return to the fray. It's so boring without her.

[dave_the_baby]

Granted, Julia returns. However, she comes back as a member of the Unitary Jihad, and forces everyone to speak rationally.

I wish the Unitarian Jihad WAS real, and not just a parody-terrorist group.

[leafy kille]

granted: they are real however they ban 90% of the content of this site (and many others) due to irrational content and intent to provoke irrational thaught

i wish capitolism to be as socialy unacceptable as wearing nappies

[underwhere]

Granted: capitalism is now socially unacceptable. Now that there are no means to create and cultivate the potential for economic prosperity for everybody, a worldwide protest gets underway as the result of worldwide communism which results in social stagnation. One fringe group builds up a small arsenal of nuclear weaponry, and in a fit of rage, the leader of that group launches that weaponry to various spots on the earth, therefore obliterating the entire population of the world.

I wish that the leader of that fringe group had not been such a lunatic.

[freswith]

Granted. The leader of the fringe group was not such a lunatic. He had returned home to Arcturus with a selection of luscious females before the big bang, and watched it on television while supping a glass of Pimms, and expressing deepest sorrow for the demise of all his creditors.

I wish I hadn't left my luggage behind

[Juliabam]

Granted. The leader of the fringe group was not such a lunatic. He had returned home to Arcturus with a selection of luscious females before the big bang, and watched it on television while supping a glass of Pimms, and expressing deepest sorrow for the demise of all his creditors.

I wish I hadn't left my luggage behind

Granted you still carry your luggage, unfortunately that have resulted in the build up of a giant hump on your back, so now your only options for occupation is waiting for a vacant job in Notre Dame.

I wish Freswith will not go deaf!

[freswith]

Granted! I am offered the Chair of Advanced Sexual Studies in the University of Notre Dame, with a fat stipend, academic tenure, house, full bondage gear, and ear defenders.

I hope I don't go blind.

[underwhere]

Granted: You do not go blind. Unfortunately, you develop cataracts, and as a result, see the world through what are essentially the fog covered lenses of your eyes. You believe this is worse than not going blind, so as a result, you commit suicide by tossing a running hair dryer into a bathtub, and jumping in after it.

I wish that freswith's funeral will be attended by cheering flies and bugs who dance around his dead body.

[freswith]

Granted. Unfortunately I only faked my suicide and enjoy a splendid meal.

I wish underwhere something nice and cuddly for his bath. Naegleria Fowleri will do nicely.

[I M Soaked]

Granted. Unfortunately I only faked my suicide and enjoy a splendid meal.

I wish underwhere something nice and cuddly for his bath. Naegleria Fowleri will do nicely.

Granted

Unfortunately, they starve to death and Underwhere lives on.

I wish Dragons were real and living in the presant, so that I could have one as a friend and/or pet.

[underwhere]

Granted: Dragons are now real, and you have a pet/friend dragon. One day, you start telling the dragon jokes, and the dragon thinks the jokes are hilarious. In uncontrolled laughter, the dragon out fire all over you, scorching your entire body, and as a result of those wounds you die.

I wish that the dragon will find a new friend.

[I M Soaked]

Granted: Dragons are now real, and you have a pet/friend dragon. One day, you start telling the dragon jokes, and the dragon thinks the jokes are hilarious. In uncontrolled laughter, the dragon out fire all over you, scorching your entire body, and as a result of those wounds you die.

I wish that the dragon will find a new friend.

Not cool man,I save you from a brain eating organism, and you burn me with my own dragon. Just Kidding' lol.

Granted

Dragon finds a new friend in freswith and the gets hungry for frog meat.

I wish I could go back to the Days of Olde when the Knights were bold.

[freswith]

Granted. You go back to the day when knghts were bold, when doctors were useless, when dentists were tooth-pullers, when surgeons cut your hair as well as your leg off (Tapered at the back, sir, or straight across?) anaesthetics and antibiotics hadn't been invented, vicious chastity belts were rife, and churls were tongueless.

I wish IMsoaked perfect health, and some good fireproof knics. Not to mention a good lock-pick.

[underwhere]

Granted: IMsoaked has perfect health, some good fireproof knics, and a good lock-pick. Unfortunately, a great floodstorm comes along and floods the entire planet, thus sinking all that useful gear, none of which is useful in any event in combating a flood, and wasting perfect health on a drowning.

I wish to be a master of the Japanese game of Go.

[leafy kille]

granted you sucessfuly master the game of go, however since you now know all possible combinations of mooves the game is rather boring so you give it up to do sky diveing.

i wish i could live in a functional communist rejeime (ie one where EVERYONE shares everything and no one has more than any one else and everyone does the best they can.)

[freswith]

Congratulations. You get to live in such a regime. Everybody shares your girlfriend, and you are required to share all of theirs, including the very ugly ones. Unfortunately you are two inches taller and one inch better hung than the average, and the necessary surgery is very painful.

I wish I could get the gremlin out of my car's engine. Does anyone have any good spells/exorcisms?

[DL88]

Granted:

Here is a knife, now kill yourself.