Her Intense Need To Be Seen In Diapers

[badaddy4u]

Three years ago, I met an AB/LG girl in her mid thirties on line and after a month of telephone calls, invited her to my home for a long weekend.

We had a wonderful time together and continued to spend 4 to 5 day trips either to my place or hers dispite living 900 miles away from each other four times a year.

As we became closer friends with each visit, she started to become very comfortable with sharing some of the dynamics of her AB preferences and near the top of her list was this intense need to be seen as a little girl and specifically for strangers to notice her diapers. But not in the context of obviously flashing her diapers, quite the opposite. She's a shy, very classy little girl who would never intentionally make anyone uncomfortable with the sight of her diapers.

It must always be in the upmost of good taste; the accidental sight of the top of her diapers when she bent over or the slight outline of her thick cloth diapers and nursery print baby pants when wearing a pastel colored dress.

As the visits continued, she would arrive at the airport in diapers and would leave in diapers, wearing 24/7 her last three visits for the purpose of creating even more opportunities for me to openly treat her as my little girl still in diapers. One of her most enjoyable experiences is to have me take her shopping in night diapers and plastic baby pants to affect the way she walked until she first wet them and pick out clothes I wanted her to try on. There have been numerous almost total exposure while in the women's changing areas but the most revealing instances have been while sales people slipped new shoes on her to try.

She has great difficulty explaining why this is but describes the activity as totally overwhelming to her and beyond any sexual experiense when she's aware that someone has just seen her in baby diapers.

I care very much for her and have tried to make her as comfortable with this as I can despite my not having a clue what all of this represents to her nor why she needs this so much.

I come to the gentle readers of this enlightened forum-thank you DD, for two requests. One to offer plausable explainations for her needs if this is also shared by you. And to solicit if I may, your suggestions of creative ways to expose her diapers publicly but under the strict protacol she requires for her to enjoy this the way she needs so much.

Your thoughts are most appreciated.

Badaddy4u@yahoo.com

[Aleia]

I'm not a big fan of using unsuspecting, unconsenting strangers to get off, no matter how subtle you are about it. Whether you're flashing body parts or intentionally showing off a little bit of diaper, the mindset and motives are the same, and it's something most AB/DLs will thank you not to tag to the public image of their lifestyle.

I'd tell this lady that if respect is her priority, it would be best served by NOT imposing her sexuality on people who most likely want nothing to do with it. Think about it this way: when you feel such a strong need to be sneaky about something, it's usually because you know you shouldn't be doing it in the first place. Why doesn't she ask for these strangers' permission to show them her underwear? Well, that's easy: first, she probably knows they'd flip out and call her a pervert. Second, and most importantly, they would say no.

[diaperwearntigger]

I'm sure it is many AB/DL's fantasy to be seen in public in a diaper. Why that is? I have no idea. I know for myself I would love to be seen in a diaper out in public and I know for a fact that it is my daddy/husband's fantasy as well. However, we never have, and most likely never will endulge in that fantasy. Afterall, that is why they call it a fantasy. There are many fantasies that we desire, but we know that they will probably never become true because of laws and the respect of others.

I compare it to those whom like to wear their jeans down around their butts and have their underwear exposed. I personally do not want to see your underwear, and so I take it into consideration that many people would feel the same way about my diapers.

I think for us, its more of the chance of being seen, rather than making it actually happen. Its the idea of being caught that is the thrill of it all, not having someone actually see me wearing a diaper. If that makes any sense....lol

[sarah_ab]

As for why she 'gets off' on having her diapers exposed is one of those things that will probably never be known. You are getting into the whole nature v nurture debate, lots of people will link their diapers to their childhood to attempt to explain why they feel the need to wear them, and that works for them. This woman could spend a lifetime finding reasons why she likes diapers, as for being exposed, it sounds along the same lines people who are into just general humiliation in the bdsm scene are into. Lots of people, ab and not, have fantasies of being humiliated in public.

However there is a line between a fantasy and making it a reality. Many people wear diapers in public, and babyish - looking clothing, but that is still acceptable for adults to wear. As has been said, purposefully exposing your diaper in public for sexual gratification is very different than those who live the 24/7 lifestyle for reasons that do not include sex.

Perhaps this friend needs to discuss with a therapist or a friend, or someone why she feels the need to expose herself publicly and find ways to curb this behavior before it gets her into trouble. It may not help her discover WHY she feels the need to do this, but it may be able to help her find new ways to become aroused that does not involve innocent bystanders who probably would not be to happy to find out their attention to her underwear is causing her to get turned on....

[Baby Bethany]

If someone really wants people to see them wearing a diaper by far the easiest and least offensive way is to take some snaps and post them on here.

That way hundreds of people will see them in a diaper, and nobody gets offended.

Beth

[Creepymouse]

Although there are many who don't like the trend...honestly, they *are* just underwear, though thicker than most. There are a lot of girls out there who show off their panties by wearing low-rise jeans, short shorts, tennis skirts and miniskirts, etc, I even saw some pants that were made to look like the girl was wearing a thong and pulled it up past her waistband, but it was attached to the pants, geez.

She's not going to get in to trouble for someone seeing her underwear, as he said, she doesn't raise her skirt intentionally to show off, she likes it to be accidentally on purpose. Shoe guy looks up her dress and sees nursery print plastic...his fault really.

One direction to go would be an intentional leak, prick a hole in the plastic of a disposable, in a place where you know it will show once she's wet?

[enfant]

I generally agree that it's not appropriate to involve people in your fetish without consent, but I think there's a distinction to be made here.

Let's consider the more usual variety of exhibitionism. There are a couple of different sorts. There's the aggressive, almost assaultive variety, typified by the flasher walking around exposing himself to people. And then there's the passive kind, typified by a woman wearing a skirt without panties, a slightly see-through blouse, or a partially-exposed thong. She's not really calling attention to herself, not getting into anyone's face, not doing anything overtly beyond the pale. She's just taking a chance on being noticed by someone sufficiently observant, and that chance excites her.

Now, yes, seeking that kind of rush from someone who isn't interested does strike me as an ethical gray area, but it's not clearly wrong in the same way that flashing is, because it's not assaultive. She's not forcing anyone to see. She's just not hiding from anyone who looks.

badaddy4u's baby girl seems to have that passive sort of exhibitionistic fetish (and I can relate; I have a few similar fantasies). It's worth stepping carefully and making sure she doesn't cross a line, but just wearing diapers under a skirt, and bending over, or buying shoes? I don't think that crosses the line at all.

As for why she has this need... here's a guess. When we were babies, our diapers weren't hidden, were they? There'd be no point--everyone knew what we were wearing, and anyway, babies don't have body modesty. Sometimes our diapers were changed right out in public--on the hood of the family car, on the floor of a friend's house at a playdate, on a table in front of all the other kids at daycare--with no embarrassment at all. Embarrassment doesn't come until later. If you really felt like a baby, you'd feel the same way--no shame, no embarrassment, no desire to hide. And if you do feel those feelings, then you don't really feel like a baby. I suspect that transgressing that boundary--deliberately dropping the concealment, even just a little bit, and taking the risk of others knowing you're in diapers--can really push you into the baby headspace and produce an intense emotional rush. But I don't know her, so I can't say for sure. Why not ask her to post here and discuss it further?

[badaddy4u]

I generally agree that it's not appropriate to involve people in your fetish without consent, but I think there's a distinction to be made here.

Let's consider the more usual variety of exhibitionism. There are a couple of different sorts. There's the aggressive, almost assaultive variety, typified by the flasher walking around exposing himself to people. And then there's the passive kind, typified by a woman wearing a skirt without panties, a slightly see-through blouse, or a partially-exposed thong. She's not really calling attention to herself, not getting into anyone's face, not doing anything overtly beyond the pale. She's just taking a chance on being noticed by someone sufficiently observant, and that chance excites her.

Now, yes, seeking that kind of rush from someone who isn't interested does strike me as an ethical gray area, but it's not clearly wrong in the same way that flashing is, because it's not assaultive. She's not forcing anyone to see. She's just not hiding from anyone who looks.

badaddy4u's baby girl seems to have that passive sort of exhibitionistic fetish (and I can relate; I have a few similar fantasies). It's worth stepping carefully and making sure she doesn't cross a line, but just wearing diapers under a skirt, and bending over, or buying shoes? I don't think that crosses the line at all.

As for why she has this need... here's a guess. When we were babies, our diapers weren't hidden, were they? There'd be no point--everyone knew what we were wearing, and anyway, babies don't have body modesty. Sometimes our diapers were changed right out in public--on the hood of the family car, on the floor of a friend's house at a playdate, on a table in front of all the other kids at daycare--with no embarrassment at all. Embarrassment doesn't come until later. If you really felt like a baby, you'd feel the same way--no shame, no embarrassment, no desire to hide. And if you do feel those feelings, then you don't really feel like a baby. I suspect that transgressing that boundary--deliberately dropping the concealment, even just a little bit, and taking the risk of others knowing you're in diapers--can really push you into the baby headspace and produce an intense emotional rush. But I don't know her, so I can't say for sure. Why not ask her to post here and discuss it further?

WOW. I'm floored, not only by the sophistication and intellectual level of all of the responses, but the now sense of information over-load I'm feeling regarding how complex her need to be seen as a liitle girl seems to be. DD has certainly attracted a thought provoking and illuminating forum and thank you all for that.

In response, I first need to add some clarity to my first posting. Though she's 24/7 when visiting, she frequently goes to great lengths to insure no possible awareness by others that she's in diapers. This is out of repect for me and my friends as well as certain public venues such as dinner at a very nice restaurant, etc.

Additionally, there are many public outings that I'm certain her diapers are never seen although some Daddy/Little Girl innuendo can be observed. I do agree with the suggestion that the "fear of detection" is always at work with her and an important need component.

What I'm really struggling with is your reponses that this is clearly sexually based and it's a sexual rush she's after. She assures me it isn't and will say that it is "so much more than that". What adds to her credibility are a few of the sexual fantisies she has shared with me that seem to be totally unrelated. Yet diapers are a very necessary element for arousal.

The point made of humiliation I'm sure is related because of her reaction when I verbally reprimand her as a child in public. Is it possible for public humiliation but only in the context of what we all hearfrom a frustrated parent to a misbehaving small child be non-sexual as she claims?

I put the exhibitonist factor on par with public humiliation. The occasions when I'm carrying a baby's fully packed diaper bag such as beach or picnic/concert outings. Again, can a baby girl have these needs that are not sexually arousing as she claims?

One final thought that I'm dealing with in another baby girl as well who I spend time with. Because of our age differense, I'm old enough to legitimately be their biological father and with both baby girls this seems to be paramount in wanting strangers to precieve. You see where I'm going with this..a little girl who still needs to be taken care of as a small child by her parent.

I guess my comfort with her being seen in diapers is how I react when I see an older child or handicapped person clearly in diapers and that is it's obviously necessary. I see her need to be kept in diapers as a two year old as just as necessary as someone who is incontinent. And truely believe that a very big part of her is still very much a child if this makes any sense.

The need to been see as still a child when with Daddy is the underlying desire with both baby girls and at this point, that's all I'm sure of. You all have given me a headache for having to think this deeply. Is this calculus class?

Again thanks

Badaddy4u

[Backindiapers]

Well here's a thought I didn't see mentioned on this whole thread. So most of us have that desire to be seen in our diapers in public or just by other folks. There are many avenues to do this that would seem perfectly legitimate depending on where you go. For instance....they have all over the country Fetish Balls, where folks go dressed up in all kinds of kinks. Now granted I realize this is a sexual function at its core but you could go just to mingle take in the sites and wear whatever diaper outfit that would suit you. The next place would be most Goth Clubs would not be too far out of reach, especially for girls dressing up. I've seen a number of girls dressed up like little girls in these clubs. I guess sissy guys might have a problem but the original poster was looking for places for females to go. Third would be The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Sounds odd enough and not sure if everyone has heard of it but it runs at local theaters all over the country and in most cities on saturday nights. Again I've seen all variety of strange outfits there and most people go there to show off their inner exhibitionist. You could go as far as go boating and wear nothing but diapers on the boat in the middle of the lake/ocean/river. Just a few thoughts. Since I believe the poster was looking for alternative things to do.

[enfant]

can a baby girl have these needs that are not sexually arousing as she claims?

Well, yes, I suppose so--I mean, she says she does, and I see no reason to doubt her. But a thought that comes to mind is... maybe a drive can be rooted in sexuality, or at least closely related to it, without feeling like sexual arousal. Do you think that's possible?

Part of the power of sex, whether it's the kinky sort or the conventional sort, is the way it strips away our disguises and reveals the true selves that we usually keep hidden--animal-passionate and alive. Infantilism, for me at least, does the same thing in its own way--putting on a diaper makes me feel somehow real. It puts me in touch with myself... as if I'm being who I truly am. It can be an emotional release as powerful as the best sex ever.

For me, that emotional release often comes along with a sexual release. No question it's a sexual drive for me. But maybe some people feel these same desires, and are nourished by them in just the same way, but they don't have the horny feelings.

I would still think of that as a sexual sort of desire. It makes you feel alive and free and truly yourself in the same way that great sex can. But you might miss the sexual aspects because you don't feel like having sex. (Does any of this make sense? I'm a little spaced on on a pain killer at the moment, so if I just sound stupid here, that's probably why... )

I'd really like to see what she'd say about this if she were posting here.

[Aleia]

most (not all) of these responses are probably more "narrow"then you'd hoped for well welcome to the world. offending others is all these replys are focusing on obviously thats not only far from your intent but not anything you've done so far. you've already got some great ideas continue on with those and for the best suggestions you must look to her, your friend. and enjoy

Real narrow-minded people don't bother to consider how their actions might be affecting other people, because they refuse to let pesky ethics throw off their groove. I'm not saying this lady or anyone else with exhibitionistic tendencies is a bad person who intends to cause harm, but it sounds like she might want to do some serious thinking about her motives (which is what the OP is doing in posting this topic), and about the possible unintended consequences of her behavior.

Morality doesn't just concern the physical aspects of an action. There is nothing inherently wrong with going out in public wearing thick pants made of paper and plastic. It's the person's motives that define the moral goodness or badness of his or her behavior. The bottom line is, if these strangers knew they were being used in somebody's ploy to get sexually aroused, they would probably resent it a lot. Just because somebody doesn't know his boundaries are being crossed doesn't make it okay to cross them--if it did, there would be nothing wrong with secretly snapping photos of people's crotches.

[sarah_ab]

i want to clarify what i said earlier. It sounds like so far, this woman has kept her desires to be seen in public to low key "accidental" occurances. She has not purposely flashed her diapers, or gone out in just a diaper. I mentioned she may want to speak to a professional about finding ways to curb her desires, so she does not escalate to the point where being 'exposed' becomes her main focus on any outing and soon it begins to rule her life.

It happens often, when someone has an intense need and they being focusing more and more on it, and before they know it, it has become their obsession, its all they can think about, all the desire, and then just thoughts become to much and then they begin to exhibit inappropriate behaviors in public that can lead to arrest or more.

Sometimes just talking to an unbiased third party can help. She doesn't even need to mention she wants to be seen in diapers, but could just use the world underwear.

[enfant]

so by that logic if she didn't enjoy strangers spotting her diapers and these situations still arose without it being her intent then there would be nothin wrong with it but if she likes that it happened then that is bad?

Well put. Translated into non-AB terms, this is the equivalent of "it's only okay to wear a skimpy bikini at the beach if you don't like the looks people give you."

I completely agree with the principle that it's wrong to impose one's fetish on others, but at some point I do think that principle can cross over into a rationalization for shame and self-loathing. Having the bottom of your diaper visible under a skirt or something, and enjoying the fact that someone might see it and recognize it? That's not imposing.

A bystander has the right not to be harassed, rudely propositioned, deliberately exposed to offensive smells, involved in AB roleplay without consent, etc; that kind of behavior is just plain impolite. But, as long as that sort of rudeness is left out of it, I don't think anyone has a god-given right to be kept unaware of the fact that other people are different. A shop clerk left thinking "Huh, she was dressed kinda funny, I wonder what the deal was with that," really hasn't been abused, in my opinion.

[Topguy]

She's a submissive humiliation slut. I have known lots of girls like this over the years-they had different tirggers. Hers just happens to be diapers and feeling judged.