Sorting It Out

[Newroad]

As some of you have seen I just recently told my wife of 19 years, 20 in June, about my deepest darkest secret. I have had to occasionaly wear diapers over the years due to IBS and have occasionaly indulged in them when not needed as well. The times not needed were for escape and enjoyment but were a source of shame and self loathing at the same time. This hiding was slowly tearing me apart. I hated the sneaking and the half truths. How do you tell the one your with you like to be diapered? When I finally got up the nerve to express my desires to my wife regarding wearing when not neccessary she was more than supportive. I have to say I was in a state of total terrorand then shock at the time. She not only accepted my wants but dove head first into being a part of it. We ordered some cloth pocket diapers. Picked some realy kewl colors too. She is into sewing and is making me some onesies as well as more diapers. I can't even begin to tell you all how much I love this woman. She is also dying to snuggle me in bed at night and has whole heartedly agreed that play days with legos are a must. Hehehe I love legos.

Now that I am able to talk and explore my feelings more openly, I find my self trying to sort out exactly where I fit. I am an AB or a DL? I am pretty much set on the fact that I am both. I now have the freedom to escape from life and adulthood when the world is grinding me into a fine paste. I no longer have to hide my feelings and desires and that in itself has made my life a lot happier. I know there is a lot of stuff to sort out and She and I will tackle it together hand in hand.

I am curious about how others have handled this point in their lives? Was it easier or harder once the burden of the secret was removed from your shoulders? I'm hoping that hearing how all of you have handled it and progressed through this is going to give me some help and insight as well. I am also curious as to how your S/O's and Spouses have dealt with it? Mine is also reading here and has intent to join soon. I look forward to hearing from you all. I am glad I am here. I have found a place that my voice is safe to be heard.

And for my wife, TY honey, you've given me back my life.

Newroad

[diaperpt]

Wow! What a great story! You are just SOOO lucky!

I do envy you! ...not enough to risk telling my wife at this point, but good for you!

I'm sure you will, but I would just caution you to keep your wife's feelings and emotions in sight as you go along. What might be lots of fun for her now might cool. Hopefully not, but if it does, be aware enough to recognize it and respect her feelings at least to the point of working out new ways of dealing with your relationship so that her needs continue to be met as well as yours.

It all sounds great for now, though, so LIVE IT UP!!!

[lynniehyde]

Ease her into it. But, you may find that she's more into this than you you are (which can be scary ), as was the case with my wife. (now ex. But that's a whole 'nuther story. She knew from the git-go.) I'm so happy for you. I know it was difficult to make a clean "breast" of your feelings after almost 20 years of closeting. But, don't you feel so much better now? Your story should serve as a shining example to all those out there, afraid to reveal their innermost desires to a loved one. Honesty and trust goes a long way in solidifying a relationship.

As to your AB or DL status. I would say you're DL for now. But, your wife may have other ideas. Go with the flow. And, have fun.

Cuddles,

--heidilynn

PS: After 20 years of hiding this from her, I have a hard time believing she never had a clue. She must've had her suspicions from time to time and is probably thrilled that you came forward. And equally as thrilled to be able to participate with you.

[BriGuy]

Congrats! I too know what it feels like to be bottled up about this other side of who you are. I told my wife after I couldn't sleep because I felt I was doing her the dishonesty of only showing her half of who I am. She took it in stride and has even worn them with me. She also ordered us both some footed pj's. We haven't had a role play time yet because I don't know if I am ready for that but she has expressed interest in babying me up for the day.

As for being AB or DL? I believe the whole term is relative and a lot of the community is getting hung up one trying to figure out EXACTLY what they are. We are who we are, we are good people, and that is all that matters! I am very happy you wife is supportive of you. All too often we hear the sad stories of those who didn't have things go well. Keep us posted!

~Brian

[tech baby]

Like you I got into thid through wearing for IBS, my wife actually suggested it as a better solution than the ones I had come up with and soon became the driving force for me to wear more often. Virtually became 24/7 for about a year but we had to pull back due to family needs, but I know when circumstances permit she will want to play again. Untill then I just wear when needed or maybe a little longer than necessary.

Tech bay

[Newroad]

Thank you all so much for he kind words and support. I know I will settle into an us balance with my wife in time. As was suggested I am keenly aware of my wifes felings and needs as well. We have had beyond ong, and great, dicussions on all aspects of this. I greatest desire is for her to be happy. Having this eat away at me for so many years actually made us both miserable. through all the discussion we even found some things that she wanted and desired that I had no idea of. However I will leave those to her to discuss if she so chooses.

Again TY all.

[Baby Bethany]

Ease her into it. But, you may find that she's more into this than you you are (which can be scary ), as was the case with my wife. (now ex. But that's a whole 'nuther story. She knew from the git-go.) I'm so happy for you. I know it was difficult to make a clean "breast" of your feelings after almost 20 years of closeting. But, don't you feel so much better now? Your story should serve as a shining example to all those out there, afraid to reveal their innermost desires to a loved one. Honesty and trust goes a long way in solidifying a relationship.

As to your AB or DL status. I would say you're DL for now. But, your wife may have other ideas. Go with the flow. And, have fun.

Cuddles,

--heidilynn

PS: After 20 years of hiding this from her, I have a hard time believing she never had a clue. She must've had her suspicions from time to time and is probably thrilled that you came forward. And equally as thrilled to be able to participate with you.

The bit about her being more it than you made me laugh.

I waited 12 years to tell my wife and like Brian and the others I felt I was deceiving her, sort of that she had the right to know the truth. I also figured that she would no doubt find out sooner or later anyway.

When I finally told her, she sort of said "Oh, is that all" sort of thing. And within a couple of days she was suggesting looking at baby stuff with me. It just left me thinking why did I wait so bloody long?

Beth

[DiaperBoyKR]

As for being AB or DL? I believe the whole term is relative and a lot of the community is getting hung up one trying to figure out EXACTLY what they are. We are who we are, we are good people, and that is all that matters! I am very happy you wife is supportive of you. All too often we hear the sad stories of those who didn't have things go well. Keep us posted!

I have to agree with Brian full-heartedly on this point. We are all getting hung up on labels as far as what we are and what we enjoy. If you enjoy just wearing diapers and maybe some babyish clothes, then do it! If you like playing with Legos (and what sane person wouldnt? :-) ) then do that too! If you find you enjoy roleplaying with your wife on occaision, then thats something that can be added in too. But regardless, it doesnt matter what your involvment level in the scene is. AB and DL although they are seperate things are artificial labels. They do involve completely different aspects of the fetish/lifestyle, but there is a fair amount of bleed over. For example, I myself identify as a DL. I primarily like to just wear diapers, especially under my regular clothes, out and about in my normal life. At the same time, I do like to wear more kiddish type clothes, especially footed sleepers and onesies. I have roleplayed a few times as well, but that doesnt change my primary interest. My advice to you is this. Don't try to define who or what you are. Enjoy what you enjoy and go from there. If you find you might like a new aspect, add it in and have fun with it!