Tell Me It Like It Is

[Simon]

Hey all,

I have apparently become incontinent due to extended diaper use, muscles atrophy etc. and its been over a year now that I have been on several stupid, dead end, fruitless programs with several different doctors to try to get some control.

They basically all say the same thing: Just be patient, keep doing the kegel excercises and control will come with time etc. and blah blah blah.

Well its been over a year now and I still have like no control so I feel like they mus be sugar coating the reality and not telling it to me like it is!!

I mean god if I am never going to get my control back I wish they would just say that instead of filling me with all this false hope!!!

I know none of you are dcotrs but I am going to explain my situation and I want you're honest opinions about my condition. Am I doing something wrong?? Is it possible for me to regain at leats a little control etc.

O.k with urinating its this: I pee about every ten to fifteen minutes and I can't tell when I need to pee. Its usually just a few little squirts etc. but it comes without warning. Its like this all day I am usually always peeing a little bit. My doctor says this is most likely becase my bladder is very small now and can't hold a lot of pee so it needs to empty itself constantly. Also sometimes usually when I am standing up or something I'll just start spilling a bunch of pee into my diaper. There is no stream to it ever anymore its like it just spills slowly out without any warning. Its just this streamless bunch of pee that keeps leaking out.

O.k with bowel movements its this: I crap quite frequently about two or three times a day usually at random times. I can never tell when I need to go and my poop just seems to push itself out like it has a mind of its own and there is no stopping it. I usually won't have a bowel accident if I have something against my bottom for example a hard chair, a mattress etc. but a lot of the time the minute I get off that hard chair, mattress etc thats when the accidents happen. For example sometimes I'll be laying in bed on my back with my bottom up against my hard not so comfortable mattress and everything will be fine then when I switch to my side I'll have an accident. Its like the minute my butt gets off the hard mattress I'll start soiling my diaper. Does that make any sense at all??

My doctors honestly have no idea why I am experiencing that but because I also can no longer control when I pass gas they think there may be something wrong with my schincer muscle or whatever possibly from not excercising them.

I don't know what to make of any of it. All I know is I've tried every damn program there is including kegels, timed bowel movements, charts, schedules and a million and one other things but nothing seems to be helping at all. The fact is I still have basically no control and no one including the doctors really knows why.

Has anyone else here experienced incontinence like this before?? If so how did you overcome it or did you not?? Does anyone have any advice as to what else I can try that may help or just tell me it like it is and say that this incontinence is permanent.

Thanks all.

Simon

[Dill_Pickle]

Hey all,

I have apparently become incontinent due to extended diaper use, muscles atrophy etc. and its been over a year now that I have been on several stupid, dead end, fruitless programs with several different doctors to try to get some control.

They basically all say the same thing: Just be patient, keep doing the kegel excercises and control will come with time etc. and blah blah blah.

Well its been over a year now and I still have like no control so I feel like they mus be sugar coating the reality and not telling it to me like it is!!

(snip)

I don't know what to make of any of it. All I know is I've tried every damn program there is including kegels, timed bowel movements, charts, schedules and a million and one other things but nothing seems to be helping at all. The fact is I still have basically no control and no one including the doctors really knows why.

Has anyone else here experienced incontinence like this before?? If so how did you overcome it or did you not?? Does anyone have any advice as to what else I can try that may help or just tell me it like it is and say that this incontinence is permanent.

Thanks all.

Simon

Have you read This?:

http://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.ph...st&p=123713

I have a second answer for you: It sounds like you have given up on each and every one of these methods, rather than continuing to work on any one of them long enough to make it work. You are going to need a doctor who is willing to partner with you and be honest. It is also going to take significant continuing effort on your part. If you like, you may also want to take a mindfulness course to learn how to hypnotize yourself, as the relaxation will help you re-learn the signals you need to pay attention to, instead of spending energy bemoaning your current situation, which only makes it worse.

Now, I am not a doctor, but I have some suggestions:

First, try to get yourself to poop when you get up in the morning, or, within a half-hour of getting up in the morning. Establhishing this basic rhythm will give you a platform from which to establish control, and it gives you a window when you will not poop. If it doesn't happen, sit on the pot and push on your abdomen a bit and see if this makes something come out. If it still doesn't happen, exercise a bit...go for a walk..this will stimulate the intestines. A little chocolate can also be eaten to stimulate the intestines. Note that I am assuming you are eating enough fruits and other fibers (if not, eat prunes!) that you need to poop every day. I don't recommend white bread or a lot of meat. Nullo tablets can reduce the smell of the poop.

Second, practice clinching your buttocks together so as to hold things in. Especially practice this when rising off those hard surfaces...the idea is to delay what happens on its own...this is the essence of control. Also, those hard chairs give you a chance to work on the perception end....notice the feeling your guts get as time passes on the hard chair or mattress. You want to know, before you get up, whether you will poop or not -- that is, whether you will need to poop or not.

Third, it really doesn't sound like you are doing your exercises for holding things in correctly. Get a (gloved) finger in your anus, and play around until you feel yourself clamping on it a bit. That is the move you need to re-learn.

Good luck, and keep trying.

[Eric D]

Simon,

A few things,

first - whilst I think it's perfectly possible to become bladder incontinent from constantly relaxing and letting urine flow whenever you just feel the slightest pressure - over time, your bladder will shrink and your body will get the "signal" that it's ok to pee whenever, wherever - this is not beyond repair, but it will take time - as mentioned by the previous answer, keep up the excercise and seek for a doc who's open and willing to "walk you through" , most important - you need to keep at it for good..

second - bowel incontinence - ususally this doesn't just happen. I guess it is possible to train yourself to easily let go anytime, but unless you don't really feel anything at all, you may have a weak sphincter muscle or whatever...

your profile says you're 25 - that's two years younger than I am - ... my health is very dear to myself. I keep in perfect (close to as possible) shape and excercise a lot.

If I'd have a car accident or whatever and become incontinent I would try to make whatever possible to get "rid of it" again - I would never willingly go to that point (like "diaper-training" myself - or any of that hypno-crap)... I don't know how long you've been only wearing and using diapers - but I assume it's at max a couple of years... I don't know how long it did take you before you were messing your diapers (poop) without you being able to control it? but I guess - unless you had a weak sphincter to start with - that would take you around two years of constant "letting go" before you'd loose any bit of control. - it will at least take you so long to get it back.

But my point is this - whilst your bladder will shrink easily, and you can learn to wet relaxed quite easily and that will have some effect on the overall "Continence" (loosing it) - it is much much more difficult with your anal sphincter muscle (medical point of view). Get this checked out by a spcialist or two if you have to... get a few professional medical opinions - there are loads of test a good, specialized doc can perform and in most cases tell you what's wrong...

if another specialist doesn't find anything wrong - keep working - than it's basically just your body and mind gotten used to pooping whenever your body "needs to" - that can be reversed with a lot of will-power.

now another bit - we read all those requests and questions here on how to become incontinent - some even asking on how to become double incontinent (bladder & bowel)... many want it and think it's great and amazing.

You seem to have achieved just that - and now you no longer want this? Why did you go there in the first place and now think it's no longer worth it?

I never would have wanted to be incontinent - if I would become I'm sure I could deal with it, but still I don't wan't to out of my own free will.

I had a time (couple of weeks) while back where I needed to wear diapers 24/7 as a serious bladder infection caused some havoc with me and being able to hold it day and night...

Boy was I glad, when after a few long weeks I was "dry" for days again and could stop wearing during my daily activities... I still had a few wet diapers at night - that wasn't so bad... and got better too... so today I enjoy being diaperd A LOT... but I choose to do so.

Keep up trying - hard... you'll get there - take it as a lesson.

and if you go on about wearing diapers, without wanting to become incontinent - even if you still choose to wear 24/7, try to hold your urine and BMs some time willingly before willingly voiding... this will keep your functions intact.

[DavidMW]

Admittedly I have no firsthand insight into this, but if your body has reverted as far as it has into infant-like control, the question that came to mind was How long did it take for you to become potty-trained the first time?