"we Found Your Diapers!"

[lynniehyde]

"We found your diapers!"

The words came from my original, Phoenix, neighborhood sweetheart, Becky. I was 12 yrs. old, at that time. We were on the school bus, on the way home, when she broke the news. She detailed the events as they unfolded. That my younger brother had discovered them in the closet, in a box of my football gear. He decided to let my whole world know. When I was gone from the house, he gave my childhood chums a grand tour of all my baby belongings. Bottles, rubber panties, diapers, the whole schmear. I was stunned, to say the least. Granted, the smell from some of the soiled didees I had stashed in the corner of the closet, are what drew my brother's curiosity there and were ultimately my undoing. The humiliation and shame are something I have yet to recover from. Guess I never will. Or want to, for that matter.

Cuddles,

--heidilynn

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[diaperpt]

I can't even imagine how horrible that must have made you feel. I imagine the humiliation and shame you describe could have pushed you away from diapers as much as closer to them. It seems pretty obvious it's kept you in diapers. Other than the shame and humiliation, how did this shape your decisions and feelings about diapers? Did you try to get away from them for a while or did this just push you deeper into wanting/needing to wear them?

Was this just a 'game' gone wrong in that incident or do you feel you were already hooked for life before this? How has this shaped your life with diapers?

I don't mean to pry and you obviously shouldn't feel pressure to answer any of this. I'm asking, though, because you've brought it up after so many years - do you want to talk about it more or is there some other reason you've chosen to relate this incident now? Again, there is no reason to answer any of this publicly. I'm not a psychologist, so do the introspection YOU think you need!

Very brave to share this openly here.

[lynniehyde]

I can't even imagine how horrible that must have made you feel. I imagine the humiliation and shame you describe could have pushed you away from diapers as much as closer to them. It seems pretty obvious it's kept you in diapers. Other than the shame and humiliation, how did this shape your decisions and feelings about diapers? Did you try to get away from them for a while or did this just push you deeper into wanting/needing to wear them?

Was this just a 'game' gone wrong in that incident or do you feel you were already hooked for life before this? How has this shaped your life with diapers?

I don't mean to pry and you obviously shouldn't feel pressure to answer any of this. I'm asking, though, because you've brought it up after so many years - do you want to talk about it more or is there some other reason you've chosen to relate this incident now? Again, there is no reason to answer any of this publicly. I'm not a psychologist, so do the introspection YOU think you need!

Very brave to share this openly here.

I consider DD forums an excellent means of group therapy. I feel comfortable in airing my issues here. While not everyone agrees with my opinions, that's what group is all about. Right?

As to your question about whether this incident "shaped" my life. No. I was a confirmed DL before this happened. I became more AB as my life progressed. (Or, regressed ) My interest in posting this, is to find those with similar experience. And, hopefully, find some answers. If there are any.

Cuddles,

--heidilynn

[Morv]

Did you at least learn from that experience that used diapers aren't something to keep around, but instead that they should be thrown away?

This is not to note that I do feel for you. That must have been a nightmare. I had a nightmare the last time I slept. It's been happening to me a lot in the past six months, which is strange, because I usually don't have them. *ping, revelation! right here, right now!* Anyway, before I move onto the revelation I just had, here's a nightmare I recently had. Brett Favre, hero of mine, in this dream, decided to come out of retirement, but it was to play wide receiver for the Jets. That was a terrible, terrible dream. Anyway, strange that I'd have a revelation right now, but I just realized that I'm more likely to have nightmares when I'm dating someone than when I'm single. Strange, eh? Anyway, to return to you, I can see how that would have really sucked.

How did you handle it, how did events transpire following your brother's decision to air your dirty laundry?

[Repaid1]

I am assuming you were up to AB at this point . I mean you did have Panties and Bottles?? I believe I started wearing at about 12 too. Ooh the joy of wearing real Pampers again. Then at 14 to discover they made diapers in Adult sizes too, You know those crappy tissue thin, single tapes you can still get off Ebay and the like. Ahhhh Memories..Like the corner of my mind...

[Aleia]

Kids can be downright cruel. I was abused throughout elementary school--I know how that goes. But here you are today, still doing what you love. They can humiliate you, they can hurt you so deeply you might never fully recover, but they aren't worth changing yourself for.

[djlamar2]

hey i can relate. some1 actually saw some of my diapers and asked. boy that was a mess. thankfully i gave part of the reason was that i was having accidents which is true by the way. not here lately though. im a dl but the whole humiliation thing i can understand. but that hasnt stopped me.

[lynniehyde]

Did you at least learn from that experience that used diapers aren't something to keep around, but instead that they should be thrown away?

Morv, I was born into an ancient time and country where there were no such things as disposables. We didn't throw cloth diapers away. It simply was not done. I had to wait for a convenient time to wash them out, when no one in the house would know. Hence, my dilemma. I remember my mother trying out some new-fangled disposables on my baby sister. "Chux" I think they were called. Pre-Pampers. She threw them out. Before going through the pack. Too leaky. Rubber panties and cloth diapers ruled the day and the baby way, back then. They still rule mine.

Cuddles,

--heidilynn