Question

[elo]

Hi Everyone

I have a massive dilema with being a D/L which I think is getting out of control , I told a lie by saying to my friend that I am a bettwetter she was very understanding , however I find myself wanting to tell more people , maybe it is because I want to be excepted , and free to say I am incontinent , when I am not , also I do feel Guilty as a believer in God , yet I have had this desire since I was a kid , and everytime I tell myself I am not going to return to Nappies , I give in , and I have now become so desperate that I tried some hypnosis files , but did not stick with them , also I sought help to get rid of the problem and the phychologist just said there was nothing they could do for me . My next step is to see my Dr and ask if they can help me with becoming incontinent , which on my part is fantasy , also I know no respectable hypnotist is going to help me , yet if I want to stop the desire they will help , all in all I am confused .

elo

[Guest dragonmaster4066]

well i am incon, yes at least i can be honest about my diapers cause i need them. i have found that honesty is best. diapers or nappies are just another form of underwear. no different than boxers or briefs. just more padding. i dont think a doctor would be able to help you become incon as that would be against what a doctor is there for.i think your best bet is to just be honest with people and not lie about it. i dont advertise that i wear but if someone were to ask i would tell them the truth, in my case its that i'm incon. you might be surprised by the fact that nobody will really notice that you are wearing anyway.

[Eric D]

dude,

a few things:

1. God? well I'm not religious - actually I'm as much non-religious as it can get - so I might be the wrong one to answer your question... however I've read the old and new testament, the holy qu'ran and most other famous religious text books out there - it's afterall a fascinating part of our history.

but where - I ask you "WHERE" - is it written that Diapers are bad. ??? there are things about telling lies in the bible - thats for sure.

and no matter if you're religious or not - lying to friends isn't nice. it isn't the right way to go. Just ask yourself how you would feel if your friends would be lying to you... but that's just something - other than that I can see nothing morally wrong in wanting to wear diapers.

2. being acepted starts with yorusefl - start to accept you for whom you are - and you will find that more people will accept you.

3. Your "friend"? - you mean your girlfriend? that would make a whole lot of difference for various reasons:

- if she's your girlfriend then I will have to say that it's a rather bad thing to base a relationship on lies.

- if she's "just a normal" friend - well why did you tell her at all??

- if you wanted to talk about wearing diapers - be honest - it's the best way ... or just keep it for yourself.

4. psychologists - well there are like with every other profession more or less skilled ones out there - you might have to search a while until you'll find a psychologist which works for you. and in most cases they will not try to change your personality (which is VERY Difficult to achieve), but rather help you cope and accept you, yourself & your situation.

5. Doctors - NO doctor in the west, at least no legit. would do something like making you incontinent - it's a serious breach of their sworn-in moral code & conduct.... a doctor doing such a procedure would most likely go as far as to risk his license if not more.

forget about that part - for your own good sake. your body is important - don't harm it intentionally.

6. Hypnotist - well that might be an option - I don't think a hypnotist is bound to any legal / moral code... and it is quite likely that most hypnotists have had weirder request... grab a phone book and make a few calls.... if it is what you want - there's not much to loose.

7. becoming incontinent - well - and this is the "cracker": if you truly desire this - hell just live it. I mean start wearing 24/7... if someone asks WHY you wear diapers - smile and say " sorry, personal issue..." or " medical (which in psychological terms wouldn't be too far off from the truth)."...

use diapers for a year or longer or their intented purpose - don't hold back. accept leaks, accept being "spotted"...

or just "wear" every night - and be a bedwetter. it's your life.

but why do you need to expose this to others?

8. take a step back sometimes... take a break... don't let the diapers enslave you.

my self I am NOT incontinent and I am happy with this.

few years ago I had a rather scary/nasty bladder infection... it was quite bad and painful... however after a few wet beds - and a few times not or just barely making it to the toilet during the day I went to see a doc... medications... tests... and it still did take long - however I wore diaprs 24/7 for that reason... mate, belive me - I was VERY happy when the whole ride was over and I didn't DEPEND on the diapers anymore... I still love to wear them - don't get me wrong - but I CHOOSE WHEN, WHERE, HOW, WHY... this is a lot of freedom - and most incontinent persons would love to have that back.

Incontinence is not a too big burden most of the time - for the roughly one month I wore 24/7 it was "doable" but honestly - there were many situations where I would have preferred not to have to wear a diaper.

THINK TWICE or THRICE or even more Times - if you really want to go that far as to probably mutiliate your body just to become incontinent - after all there is NO HINDERANCE at all to wear diapers every single day of your life if that is what you want.

if you wear for a long time and use them - well your bladder will shrink - and maybe you will eventually depend on diapers...

[elo]

well i am incon, yes at least i can be honest about my diapers cause i need them. i have found that honesty is best. diapers or nappies are just another form of underwear. no different than boxers or briefs. just more padding. i dont think a doctor would be able to help you become incon as that would be against what a doctor is there for.i think your best bet is to just be honest with people and not lie about it. i dont advertise that i wear but if someone were to ask i would tell them the truth, in my case its that i'm incon. you might be surprised by the fact that nobody will really notice that you are wearing anyway.

Hi

Thank you for your advise

and you are right a Dr will not help me

elo

[elo]

dude,

a few things:

1. God? well I'm not religious - actually I'm as much non-religious as it can get - so I might be the wrong one to answer your question... however I've read the old and new testament, the holy qu'ran and most other famous religious text books out there - it's afterall a fascinating part of our history.

but where - I ask you "WHERE" - is it written that Diapers are bad. ??? there are things about telling lies in the bible - thats for sure.

and no matter if you're religious or not - lying to friends isn't nice. it isn't the right way to go. Just ask yourself how you would feel if your friends would be lying to you... but that's just something - other than that I can see nothing morally wrong in wanting to wear diapers.

2. being acepted starts with yorusefl - start to accept you for whom you are - and you will find that more people will accept you.

3. Your "friend"? - you mean your girlfriend? that would make a whole lot of difference for various reasons:

- if she's your girlfriend then I will have to say that it's a rather bad thing to base a relationship on lies.

- if she's "just a normal" friend - well why did you tell her at all??

- if you wanted to talk about wearing diapers - be honest - it's the best way ... or just keep it for yourself.

4. psychologists - well there are like with every other profession more or less skilled ones out there - you might have to search a while until you'll find a psychologist which works for you. and in most cases they will not try to change your personality (which is VERY Difficult to achieve), but rather help you cope and accept you, yourself & your situation.

5. Doctors - NO doctor in the west, at least no legit. would do something like making you incontinent - it's a serious breach of their sworn-in moral code & conduct.... a doctor doing such a procedure would most likely go as far as to risk his license if not more.

forget about that part - for your own good sake. your body is important - don't harm it intentionally.

6. Hypnotist - well that might be an option - I don't think a hypnotist is bound to any legal / moral code... and it is quite likely that most hypnotists have had weirder request... grab a phone book and make a few calls.... if it is what you want - there's not much to loose.

7. becoming incontinent - well - and this is the "cracker": if you truly desire this - hell just live it. I mean start wearing 24/7... if someone asks WHY you wear diapers - smile and say " sorry, personal issue..." or " medical (which in psychological terms wouldn't be too far off from the truth)."...

use diapers for a year or longer or their intented purpose - don't hold back. accept leaks, accept being "spotted"...

or just "wear" every night - and be a bedwetter. it's your life.

but why do you need to expose this to others?

8. take a step back sometimes... take a break... don't let the diapers enslave you.

my self I am NOT incontinent and I am happy with this.

few years ago I had a rather scary/nasty bladder infection... it was quite bad and painful... however after a few wet beds - and a few times not or just barely making it to the toilet during the day I went to see a doc... medications... tests... and it still did take long - however I wore diaprs 24/7 for that reason... mate, belive me - I was VERY happy when the whole ride was over and I didn't DEPEND on the diapers anymore... I still love to wear them - don't get me wrong - but I CHOOSE WHEN, WHERE, HOW, WHY... this is a lot of freedom - and most incontinent persons would love to have that back.

Incontinence is not a too big burden most of the time - for the roughly one month I wore 24/7 it was "doable" but honestly - there were many situations where I would have preferred not to have to wear a diaper.

THINK TWICE or THRICE or even more Times - if you really want to go that far as to probably mutiliate your body just to become incontinent - after all there is NO HINDERANCE at all to wear diapers every single day of your life if that is what you want.

if you wear for a long time and use them - well your bladder will shrink - and maybe you will eventually depend on diapers...

Hi

Thank you for the time spent in helping me with my question , you have put a lot of thought into what you wrote , there is certainley a few things to take on board

I must admit I have let the diapers enslave me and the only time I do not wear is at work for obvious reasons

nevertheless there is a lot of food for thought

have a good day

elo

[Angela Bauer]

Hi Elo, Let me start off by saying I have wet my bed every night since I turned 12 and have had hardly any day control since I was 21, so after years of being treated there is no question I am bladder incontinent. The largest incon support organization is the Simon Foundation and they define incontinence as any need for diapers. Your emotional need to us qualifies you as incontinent. I assume since you call them Nappies that you live in the UK or related country. Just remember that while to Simon Foundation you are incontinent, do not assume you can get free nappies of diapers at public expense.

Everyone is correct, no legit physcian will do anything to deliberately render you incontinent. Like others say, if you start wearing diapers 24/7 you will soon wet without effort, so it will seem like being incontinent, which the advantage you probably will be able to wear big boy undies if you decide you need to in the future. People like me do not have that option. Yes, I can wear fancy undies, but they will be wet soon.

Only you know why you told your female friend that you wet the bed. I do not approve of telling lies to friends, but if you do deliberately wet in bed, then you are a bedwetter. Be sure to protect every mattress you sleep on. Today there are fantastic waterproof sheeting systems that to an outsider feel like ordinary bedding. I personally have been using the Secure sheeting ever since Gary Hirsch invented them. When on visita and trips, carry your own waterproof sheets.

Also face the reality that you are an infantilist even if you do not think of yourself as an adult baby. A deliberate use of diapers makes you an infantilist, and this is a lifetime condition. Psychologists cannot change that, but should it interfere with ordinary life, they can help you find ways to balance your diaper affectation with other responsibilities. What a shame you did not balance your desire to tell everyone you wet the bed with being a better friend.

Now that desire to tell people with absolutely no need to know sounds like the mental problems of exhibitionism. Mention that to a shrink and you will be treated because in most places exhibitionism violates the law. Perhaps a psychologist can help you stop telling people.

Best wishes, Angela

Hi Everyone

I have a massive dilema with being a D/L which I think is getting out of control , I told a lie by saying to my friend that I am a bettwetter she was very understanding , however I find myself wanting to tell more people , maybe it is because I want to be excepted , and free to say I am incontinent , when I am not , also I do feel Guilty as a believer in God , yet I have had this desire since I was a kid , and everytime I tell myself I am not going to return to Nappies , I give in , and I have now become so desperate that I tried some hypnosis files , but did not stick with them , also I sought help to get rid of the problem and the phychologist just said there was nothing they could do for me . My next step is to see my Dr and ask if they can help me with becoming incontinent , which on my part is fantasy , also I know no respectable hypnotist is going to help me , yet if I want to stop the desire they will help , all in all I am confused .

elo

[elo]

Hi Elo, Let me start off by saying I have wet my bed every night since I turned 12 and have had hardly any day control since I was 21, so after years of being treated there is no question I am bladder incontinent. The largest incon support organization is the Simon Foundation and they define incontinence as any need for diapers. Your emotional need to us qualifies you as incontinent. I assume since you call them Nappies that you live in the UK or related country. Just remember that while to Simon Foundation you are incontinent, do not assume you can get free nappies of diapers at public expense.

Everyone is correct, no legit physcian will do anything to deliberately render you incontinent. Like others say, if you start wearing diapers 24/7 you will soon wet without effort, so it will seem like being incontinent, which the advantage you probably will be able to wear big boy undies if you decide you need to in the future. People like me do not have that option. Yes, I can wear fancy undies, but they will be wet soon.

Only you know why you told your female friend that you wet the bed. I do not approve of telling lies to friends, but if you do deliberately wet in bed, then you are a bedwetter. Be sure to protect every mattress you sleep on. Today there are fantastic waterproof sheeting systems that to an outsider feel like ordinary bedding. I personally have been using the Secure sheeting ever since Gary Hirsch invented them. When on visita and trips, carry your own waterproof sheets.

Also face the reality that you are an infantilist even if you do not think of yourself as an adult baby. A deliberate use of diapers makes you an infantilist, and this is a lifetime condition. Psychologists cannot change that, but should it interfere with ordinary life, they can help you find ways to balance your diaper affectation with other responsibilities. What a shame you did not balance your desire to tell everyone you wet the bed with being a better friend.

Now that desire to tell people with absolutely no need to know sounds like the mental problems of exhibitionism. Mention that to a shrink and you will be treated because in most places exhibitionism violates the law. Perhaps a psychologist can help you stop telling people.

Best wishes, Angela

Hi Angela

Wow there is a lot to take in there

A few things I live in the UK , I do not see myself as an exhibitionist, but just as a person that could tell some close friends my desires , and the friends I have not lied to are actually in the Psychology profession

the main reason I told this other friend , even though I lied , is that I like her , and rather than tell her I enjoy wearing nappies , I told her that I wet the bed , call me coward if you like ?

I must admit that I do not lie that often and there is a sense of guilt that comes over me when I do lie , and sometimes I will find ways to get out off the lie , but that does not always work , and then I end up telling the truth , but in this instance , because I also work with her , its a lot more difficult , I appreciate your honest assesment Angela .

Have a good week

from elo

[lilricky]

Just a comment: I am very impressed by the responces to your question / dilema Elo. Without passing judgement on either side, I thought the inquiry and advice to be thoughtful and enlightening. Should I ever have a need to explore something personal here, I hope I recieve the same reasoned and non-judgemetal discourse.

[Eric D]

lil'ricky,

well I guess it all comes from the way someone asks...

basically I don't like posts just saying: "how can I become a bedwetter" or "how can I become incontinent"... but if someone posts his/hers concerns, or has legit. questions / doens't know where he/she stands ... needs some help in a difficult moment or just some input - well that is another story.

and I feel like such a question deserves a honest "non-judgemental" answer.

I often am amazed here how "mature" replies are to some questions - especially if compared to other forums.

[elo]

Just a comment: I am very impressed by the responces to your question / dilema Elo. Without passing judgement on either side, I thought the inquiry and advice to be thoughtful and enlightening. Should I ever have a need to explore something personal here, I hope I recieve the same reasoned and non-judgemetal discourse.

Hi Lilricky

I think that sometimes that there is enough problems we all face giving how stressed life is sometimes with work , and relationships , that when you come into a forum like this , you seek understanding and support , and though sometimes people form opinions without even knowing you , you still try to reflect on what they say without attacking them back if poss.

This need of mine to wear diapers has been with me most of my life , and I am trying to except it , which is not easy , as all sorts of thoughts of guilt , shame and ridicule come to mind , but everytime I go out , unless you actually tell someone you are wearing a nappy , they will not know

have a good weekend

elo

[elo]

lil'ricky,

well I guess it all comes from the way someone asks...

basically I don't like posts just saying: "how can I become a bedwetter" or "how can I become incontinent"... but if someone posts his/hers concerns, or has legit. questions / doens't know where he/she stands ... needs some help in a difficult moment or just some input - well that is another story.

and I feel like such a question deserves a honest "non-judgemental" answer.

I often am amazed here how "mature" replies are to some questions - especially if compared to other forums.

Hi Eric D

I do read some of your posts and I find them to be very honest , and to the point , I think with forums like this , most people , including myself are looking for understanding and support in coming to terms with the need to wear diapers , or not as the case maybe , however in my case I am beginning to except my need to wear diapers , though at times I wished I did not have this desire ,

have a good weekend

elo