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  1. “Okay Aisling, it’s your turn. Tell us a little bit about yourself.” “Ahem” I cleared my throat to buy a little time, I wasn’t expecting to have to talk so soon into the meeting. Well…Geronimo! “Hi! My name is Aisling, my friends call me Ais. I am 27 years old. This is my first support group meeting. Like you all I am incontinent, so, also like you all I wear diapers to manage my condition. I am not from around here, if you can’t already tell by my accent. Uhhh…Yeah…I like sappy movies, country music, and whiskey.” I wrap up my little introductory spiel, and look to the girl sitting next me, she does not speak next. I guess she is a veteran. I hear the leader speak, and the rest of the group echo back his words. “Thank-you for sharing, Aisling.” The group moves along to the other new members, I pay attention but just as quickly as I hear the names of the people they are gone. Us Irelanders my have the gift of the gab, but this one has an added talent. The gift of the bullshit. I can avoid using someone’s name in any conversation. I will know their face, but their name will escape me. It is a double-edged sword. Anyhow like you heard: My name is Aisling, I am 27, and I am incontinent. What I didn’t tell the group is that I chose to be this way. I chose to wear and use diapers. Ever since I was little I have been attracted to diapers. This is my story: I first really remember wanting to wear diapers again at age 9. I mean let’s face it, who among us really remember their formative years. You might get the occasional glimpse of a memory from your younger years, but for all intents and purposes you are remembering the stories people have told you about you. You don’t really remember your young childhood. I remember it was rainy, I was watching the T.V. I don’t recall what. What I do recall is that a commercial came on for adult incontinence pants. I was transfixed. They made diapers for grown-ups!? Where, when, how can I get my hands on these. Like I said, I was hooked. It was all I thought about. I mean I was still functioning, I went to school, did my class-work, played with my friends, went to church, etc. ad nauseum. It was always there though, in the back of my mind. I dreamt about it, thought about. I almost asked about it once, but my Mum was busy and I lost my nerve. Fast forward until I was 12 years old. I have been thinking about diapers more and more often. It was like an itch I couldn’t scratch. I had to know. I schemed, and plotted. Eventually I came up with a foolproof plan. I would simply start wetting the bed again, eventually I would get what I wanted. Out of sheer necessity I would get diapers again. So, I began. At first it was really hard. Have you ever tried peeing laying down, it is tough! But I persevered, I would leak a bit into my jammies and then bolt as loudly as I could to the loo. Hopefully waking my Mum in the process. It took two weeks of that until she noticed. “Ais? Can you come here for a moment, I need to ask you something?” I was watching T.V. this had better be good. I came around the corner and saw her holding a pair of my pyjamas. THIS WAS IT! The crucial moment, the fulcrum. It all came down to how I handled myself right now. I started walking over to her, she was holding my jammies in front of her. “Yes Mum?” “Sweetie-pie, I was just going through your clothes and I noticed that all your pj’s smell like pee. Is there something you want to tell me?” I started to fidget and I looked at my feet. This was more for me than her, I was nervous as heck. “Yes” I said this very quietly. “What is it baby” “Mummy…” I broke down into tears. And I buried my face into her stomach, and gave her a hug. This had the added effect of buying me time as well as catching her totally off-guard. I am not a huggy person. “Ohmygoodness, sweetie! What is it?” “Sniff. I have been having accidents Mum.” “What do you mean?” There was no scolding in her voice, just concern. She was buying it. “When I am sleeping. I keep having these weird scary dreams, I wake up and I really, really hafta go to the loo. I don’t always make it though. Sometimes it has already started before I am up.” “Oh?” She replied. “Anything else?” “No” Once again I said this really quietly. “Okay then sugar, if this keeps up though I am going to take you to a doctor, it is not normal for girls your age to start wetting the bed again.” Not normal? Give me a break, Mum. I just want to wear diapers. If it was not normal, do you think that there would be T.V. commercials for it? “Okay Mum. Can I go back to the T.V. now?” “Yes, you CAN go back.” Opps, it has always been one of her pet-peeves. The difference between “Can I” and “May I”. I rephrase. “May I go back to the T.V.?” “Yes you may honey. Thank you for being honest with me, I know that it is hard to talk about things like this. You shouldn’t be embarrassed.” “Okay Mum, thanks!” I went back to the T.V. I thought to myself, “That did not go as planned, where are my diapers?” I guess that this is going to be the long-con. Time to get to work. I kept up the partial wettings sporadically at night, keeping myself awake and then peeing a little and going back to sleep. And another week passed of me not sleeping all the way though the night. I heard her voice again. “Ais? Can you come here for a moment?” Round two, I think to myself. “Mum I am doing my maths, can it wait until I am done?” “No, it can’t.” “Coming then!” I shout back. I go into the living room where she is once again holding my pj’s “Ais, these still smell like pee, are you still having accidents?” “Yes. But if I don’t go to sleep I don’t pee the bed, so it’s okay Mum, we don’t need to see a doctor.” “You mean to tell me that you have been not sleeping at night so you wouldn’t pee?” “Yes Mum. Sometimes I make it, but sometimes I don’t then I wake up wet.” “Honey! That’s not healthy for you! You should have told me you were still having issues.” “Sorry.” “It’s not your fault baby, stay right there I am going to phone the doctor, we are going to get this sorted out.” So, I waited, the doctor, bugger. How am I going to fool him? She returned a couple of minutes later, and sat down next to me. “Okay. I phoned the doctor to make an appointment. The soonest he can see you is in two weeks. In the meantime, so you can get some sleep, he recommended that you wear ‘protection’ to bed. Do you know what he means?” Of course, I did, I was not an idiot. The commercials on T.V. had said that they ‘protect’ you from any embarrassing leaks. She was talking about DIAPERS! I had to play dumb though. So, I shook my head “No”. “Well Ais, what he said to me is that it is not uncommon for people your age to wet the bed, so there are special products you can wear that are just like underwear that keep you from wetting the bed. Let’s go to the store okay?” “Okay Mum, but first can I finish my maths, I am almost done.” “Sure, thing kiddo.” I finished my homework, and we were off to the store. We walked down the holy of holies. The diaper aisle. I was in heaven. I always avoided this place when we shopped together, for fear of staring. Now we were here! Mum pushed the trolley and I followed behind her, staring at the shelves. “Mum?” “Yes dear?” “Why are we in the diaper aisle? I am going to be wearing diapers?” I tried the hide the excitement in my voice. By masking it with uncertainty. I think I succeeded. “No Ais, not diapers. Protection, for big kids. Not diapers.” She really stressed that they were not diapers, if not diapers what were we getting then? “Ahhh, here they are. I think you are a size “L”. Lets get one pack and see how it goes okay?” “Okay Mum.” We finished the rest of our shopping, and went to the checkout. The clerk who scanned us up gave no sign that the ‘protection’ was anything unusual. Maybe it was common. I would hate to be common! We got home and put away all of the groceries, except for one. My new ‘protection’. I was so excited to try them on, but I couldn’t let on to it. She had to tell me. The day progressed, we ate dinner, she did the washing-up. I helped. Bath time was next. Bedtime was approaching fast. Finally! The magic hour had arrived. “Ais, lets get you into this thing and off to bed okay, I bet you are really tired.” “Yeah, I am Mum.” “Okay, start by taking off your towel.” I did that, heart pounding through my chest, in excitement. I saw her open up the bag, and take out a pink object. “Can you come over to me hon? I need you to step into these for me.” I walked over to her, and raised my left leg and put it in the hole, then my right. She started pulling them up my legs. These weren’t diapers! They were pull-ups! I felt ridiculously cheated. I could not let my disappointment show. She finished pulling them into place. Satisfied with her work she got my pj bottoms out and had me step into them, covering this thing. This non-diaper imposter around my waist. “Okay, you are set for bed. Sleep well honey.” “I will Mum.” Little did she know I would not. A week went by with me wetting the ‘protection’ nightly. I was getting pretty good at this now. I could pee laying down and without having to concentrate so hard at it. I would also say a mantra in my head before falling asleep: “It’s okay to wet your bed. It’s okay to wet your bed. It’s okay to wet your bed…”. By the middle of the second week I was wetting through the ‘protection’. Mum said they were called Drynites. They were anything but for me. I was wetting through them and once again my pj’s smelled like pee. I told her I was leaking, and getting wet at night. She had no good answer and told me as much. Finally, the day came to see the Doctor. I loaded up into the car and we were off. We got to the offices and I had a seat in the waiting room, while Mum checked us in. it wasn’t long and we were shown into the exam room. The Doctor appeared, make the introductions, and got down to business. “So Aisling, what a pretty name, I hear you have been having accidents at night care to tell me about it?” So I did, I told him the fib I told my Mum. Mum confirmed my story and said although we were following his advice I was leaking through the Drynites and was still waking up in a wet bed. The Doctor looked puzzled, but not worried. He explained that: “With the onset of puberty some girls can develop ‘nocturnal enuresis’, commonly referred to as bedwetting. Generally, it sorts itself out in due course. I would like to run some tests though to exclude any infections and such, but I am not too concerned at this point. To that end, Aisling, if you would be a dear and urinate into this cup in the bathroom over there.” I did and when I re-entered the exam room things were just as they were before. “But” he continued “The fact that she is wetting though the Drynites is cause for concern. Not medical concern, just concern for her general wellbeing. I would suggest a more absorbent product, geared towards heavier wetting episodes.” My Mum looked worried and confused. “What do you mean Doctor?” “Ms. O’Byrne, I am simply referring to a more specialized product, not found in grocery stores, but rather at medical supply stores and the like. I can recommend a good one not too far from here.” My Mum looked aghast she knew what he meant. And I knew what they were talking about, and I was excited about it. I had to hold it in though. Must not look happy. “Are you sure Doctor? D-I-A-P-E-R-S? For a girl, her age?” “Ma’am, it is my considered opinion that your daughter Aisling would benefit from greater protection at night. This is the only way to ensure that that happens.” He then looked and spoke to me. “Aisling? Are you sleeping well at night?” I shook my head “No” That was true. But only because I was staying awake to wet. “Are you tired at school and at home?” “Yes.” I said that very quietly. Truth be known I was very tired. “That settles it then. Your daughter is not getting enough rest at night, this is a solution that will help with that. Kids need sleep. End of story in my books. If you want what is best for her health and wellbeing it should be the end of story in yours too.” My Mum, still didn’t look happy about it. Diapers for a 12-year-old? The Doctor sensing my Mums conflict asked me to step outside for a moment so he could have a private chat with her. I don’t know what they said, but when my Mum exited the room she thanked the Doctor and we were on our way. We got back to the car and headed out. But not home. I suspected where we were going, but I wasn’t sure. We arrived at a non-descript building, with lots of handicapped parking spaces. Mum got out of the car. I followed. We entered the store, and Mum made a bee-line for the service desk. The clerk looked up and asked: “What can I do for you today Ms.?” My Mum replied, “I was recommended your store by Dr. Danielson, I am looking for some…” She dug around in her handbag for the note. “Youth incontinence briefs, size small, poly backed.” She read that ad verbatim from the note. “Okay, that is no problem at all, do you know what brand you would like?” My Mum looked flabbergasted, there was more than one? I however was in heaven. There was more than one! “Um…whichever is the most absorbent.” “Sure thing, that would be these right here, they are a new item from BetterDry. Specially sized and designed for youth. May I presume that the youth in question is you young lady?” She asked while looking at me. I looked at the floor, continuing the charade. “Yes” “Well these are going to be perfect for you, now you can go about your day and not have to worry about leaks! May I recommend some PVC overcovers for added security? They really help keep in odours so others won’t know what you have done in your diaper. That’s a secret between you, your diaper, and your Mum. Aren’t you lucky to be getting these?” He finished that little speech of his with an exaggerated wink. I felt I had to play the part here. Therefore, I shouted: “They are ONLY for nighttime! I am fine during the day!” The clerk looked abashed. “Sorry there little miss. I just made an assumption.” My Mum was shocked. She paid for the diapers and we were off home again. When we got into the car, she broke down into a fit of laughter. I looked at her strangely. After she was done, she reached over and gave me a big hug, and said, “That was the cutest thing I thing I have ever seen! You were so mad! And rightly so. This is a private matter, what we need them for is none of her business. Even so though, so, so cute.” We drove home, got pizza, and soon enough it was time for bed. Mum approached me, bag in hand. “Sweetie, it is time to get ready. Can you help me?” “Sure Mum, what do you need?” “I need you to get undressed for me and lie down on this towel, okay?” “Okay, but why do I need to lay down, aren’t these step in and pull up like the other ones?” “No sweetie, they are a little more complicated than that. If you would like I can explain all the steps while I do them. Would you like that?” “Yes please.” If only she knew how much. “Then lay down over here please, and let me get started.” I did as she asked and lay down. Once again, my heart was pumping through my chest, finally diapers! “The first thing I am going to do is unfold the brief. Next I need you to raise your bum off the towel.” I did, and she slipped the first of many diapers under me. “You can lower again.” I dropped my bum and felt I the diaper. It felt wonderful, soft and warm. It felt right. “Next I am going to use this cream to protect your skin against wetness. It is going to feel weird , but I need to get it in the right places.” She creamed me, it smelled good, and felt good. “After that I am going to take this powder and sprinkle a little bit all over you. It helps keep wetness away from your skin. Like the cream.” I felt a cooling sensation, and I smelled a smell I immediately loved. A smell I still love. “Now it is time for me to do up the brief.” I felt the front get pulled tightly up against me and rest on my stomach. “Then the tapes. They have to be tight or else you will leak, and this whole thing will be a waste of effort. Tell me if it feels okay, okay?” “I will Mum.” I heard a gentle ripping noise, and felt the bottom left get tighter, then the bottom right. After that I felt the top left get pulled tight. Finally, the top right. “Everything done. I am surprised how easy that was, I thought I would have lost the knack of it, but it came right back. How does it feel?” I sat up and examined the white bundle between my legs. I shuffled, and squirmed. As I did the diaper made rather loud crinkling noises. I did not expect that. Nor did I expect the feeling of fullness between my legs. It felt nice. It felt safe. It was right. I told her as much. “It feels okay Mum. Kinda thick”. I got up and went for a test waddle/walk. “I feel like a duck.” I was not altogether unhappy about that. I loved this. She smiled at me. “It has to be thick Ais, or else where is all the pee going to go? The Drynites were for small accidents. This is for bigger ones. That is the only difference. Now off to bed with you.” “Yes Mum.” I crinkled and waddled my way to my bedroom. I closed the door, and lay down on my bed. I smiled the biggest smile, I think I have ever smiled. Finally! I got diapers. I said my mantra in my head: “It’s okay to wet your bed. It’s okay to wet your bed. It’s okay to wet your bed…”. I drifted off to sleep with those thoughts. I only woke up once briefly, and it was to pee. I did, and I went back to sleep. I got up in the morning, and a felt a ponderous weight around my waist. Then I remembered, I was wearing a diaper. I looked at it, it was yellowed and discoloured. I looked at my bed. Dry! Now to keep the diapers. I went down the hall into the kitchen, my Mum was already up. She was worshipping her coffee cup. She perked up when she saw me, and asked. “So, how was the night?” I felt I really had to sell the diapers at this point. So, I did. “It. Was. Great! I slept all the way through, no wetness. I think I am dry even!” I knew I was not, but I couldn’t let her know that. “Really? You’re dry? Let’s have a look.” She walked over to me and poked at the back of my diaper. “Ais, you are not dry. You are very wet. But the bed is dry?” “Yeah, I know.” “What do you mean you know?” So I explained, “When I woke up the diaper felt different, I figured I wet last night. But the bed is dry. And I slept. I love this, I am not tired, I don’t smell. In my books this is okay.” My Mum looked so sad. “Why didn’t you tell me it was this bad Ais? If you are this happy to having slept, how long has this been happening. Really?” I lied. “About three months now.” She was shocked. “How did you keep this hidden for so long?” So, I explained again. “I would wait until you had wash on, then I would sneak my jammies out of their hiding spot and put them in. You never noticed that you were doing the extra wash. And I made sure to keep switching out jammies so you wouldn’t get suspicious.” She was still shocked. “You are a very smart little girl. I think you deserve a special breakfast, how about waffles?” “Yes please!” While we ate, I wet again, not much, but enough to know that I liked it. The diaper, MY diaper absorbed it all, with Mum being non-the-wiser. I knew what I had to do next. The week progressed as usual, save for the fact that I was getting diapered nightly. But I suppose that was usual, so nothing exciting happened. The test came back negative for any infections. Which was a relief to Mum, it confirmed in her mind the Doctors hypothesis. This was only temporary. The weeks turned to months, turned years. I was now 15 years old, the single packages of diapers picked up on the fly became a standing order of cases. I went to school, I did well. I did not go to any sleepovers. I was now wetting the bed in earnest, and I could not have been happier. It was time for phase two. I opened the door to the house and bolted into the lav. Mum hearing the commotion came running. She knocked. “You okay in there?” I replied, in tears. “No” “Ais. What’s wrong!?” “Go Away!” “Ais!?” “Go Away!” “Aisling Maeve O’Byrne! If you don’t tell me what’s wrong I am coming in there, and you are going to have some serious explaining to do young lady!” “I pooed my knickers Mum!” I was hysterical, it was a well practiced cry. “Come again?” “I. Pooed. In. My. Knickers!!” “Oh…well then, how about opening the door and we take a look at the damage? Okay?” “Sure, just don’t laugh. All the kids on the bus laughed at me.” Actually, that part was true. I had to spread the seed of it. Teenagers love telling others, and teachers listen to those tales, and report them to back to parents. I opened the door and Mum saw the wetness down my legs and the smell coming off of me, the look of compassion she gave me almost made me want to tell her the truth. But only almost. “Oh, no. Baby. I am so sorry that you had to go through that. Come here.” She wrapped me up in a tight hug. I am not a huggy person, but even I wanted one after embarrassing myself intentionally to my peers. “Mum” My voice was muffled by her body. She released her hug, and held me at arms length. “Yes?” I looked at the ground. “This isn’t the first time.” That’s all I had to say. I watched her mind drop into high gear. Filling in the rest of the blanks. “Yeah…I have been wearing my Drynites to school. I started to wet myself a little bit during P.E. Then it got worse sneezing, laughing, coughing all made me leak. Until I couldn’t control it at all. I was wearing the Drynites so you wouldn’t have to worry about me. I have been buying them for a couple of months now” “Honey. I am your Mum. It is my job to worry about you. How long has this been happening?” “The leaking has been going on for about a year now. This is not the first time I have pooed either.” “What!?” “Yeah. It is just that this is the first time it has happened so badly. Normally it is just a little bit, I just lower the pull-up and grab it with some paper.” “I am taking you to the Doctor. Right now! No. Not right now. Let’s get you cleaned up first.” “Can you take my clothes. I need a shower.” “Sure thing Ais, whatever you need.” I stripped off my shirt and jeans. To reveal the very well used Drynite beneath. I blushed. It was an unconscious, if useful reaction. I handed Mum my clothes, and she handed me a bin bag. I figured it was for the soiled Drynite. I closed the door to the loo. I looked at myself in the mirror, and I asked myself. “Self, is this worth it?” I answered “Yes”. I pulled off the soiled pull-up and placed in the bin bag, and left that by the door. I hopped in the shower and proceeded to clean myself. Paying particular attention to the area I would forevermore refer to as my diaper area. Getting out of the shower I toweled myself dry. I grabbed the bin bag as I left the loo. I placed the bag on the floor by the door and headed upstairs to get dressed. Mum met me on my way up the stairs. “Feeling better then?” “Yes. Much. I am just on my way to get dressed and we can go. Does that sound good to you?” “Sounds fine pumpkin. One thing, seeing as you have been leaking during the day too. Don’t you think it wise that you took the precaution and wore one of your night diapers to the doctor. As a just in case measure?” My heart did a flip, and stopped beating for a moment. When it started again I answered. “Actually Mum, I was going to suggest the same thing. It will be so nice not having to worry about leaking for a change.” I am rather excited about this prospect. Day diapers! She looked at me with pity, and said: “I am glad we are on the same page Ais. I would have hated to make the suggestion only for you to fight me on it.” I smiled at her and thought, “If only you knew.” I went to my room and got my supplies together. I am still changing on the floor, at least I have a dedicated mat for it. If all things go to plan I will get a proper changing table sooner rather than not. I diapered myself and put on leggings and a skirt. Being in a proper diaper in the daytime. I finally felt whole, I finally felt like me. Normally I don’t really walk around in diapers, it is a quick tape up and into bed. But since I am wearing a diaper out I wanted to see how it felt. I waddle/walked in a circle in my room. Just like I thought, crinkling all the way. How lovely. I went down the stairs and met Mum. We got into the car and went to the Doctor. She explained that although we did not have an appointment, any time the Doctor could spare us was needed. We were told to wait. It was a long wait. I wet myself twice during the time. Nobody save me knew. Finally, we were told that he could see us. We went into the exam room. The Doctor entered. “So…” He looked at the chart “Aisling, I hear you have been having daytime control issues as well as continued nocturnal issues. Care to elaborate?” I told him everything I had practiced in my mind. Some were lies, others only half-truths. Regardless he was starting to look concerned. He said as much. “This is highly unusual. I am going to recommend a battery of tests. Also, I think you should see a Urologist and a Proctologist to rule out any structural abnormities. Furthermore, this is probably not the greatest thing for a teenager to be dealing with, therefore, I am prescribing that you see a Psychiatrist until a conclusion is reached regarding your specific concerns. Sound good?” He really didn’t give us much choice, I agreed. So, did Mum. He continued. “Until this is all sorted, what measures have you taken to mitigate the problem?” I answered: “Well Doc. I have been wearing my old Drynites to school, but they are no longer cutting it. I am barely able to tell when I am going anymore. Also they don’t really contain my messy accidents all that well. Why? Do you have a suggestion?” Mum’s head snapped in my direction. I didn’t tell her that lie, the lie about how often I was messing. I needed another party present before I could trot that one out. “As a matter of fact, I do. You wear adult briefs to bed correct?” “I do” “Excellent! Then it will be a simple matter to transfer your strictly nocturnal undergarment to fulltime wear.” I was ecstatic! Here was a doctor telling me to wear diapers during the day. Everything was falling into place. My Mum piped up at this point. “In fact, Doctor, she is wearing one right now.” “Is she indeed, do you mind if I take a look?” This question was asked to both me and my Mum. We both shook our heads: “No, I don’t mind”. “No time like the present then. May I?” “Sure thing” I hopped off the exam table, and started to lower my leggings. After that I started to raise my skirt, it was the moment of truth. The doctor saw that I was wet. Mum did too. She asked the question first. “Ais? Did you know you were wet?” The Doctor nodded confirming the question. His pen poised to take notes. I answered: “Uhhhh… what are you talking about. I haven’t peed yet.” They both shot me looks of pity. “Actually Miss O’Byrne, that brief has indeed been wet. More than once if I am any gauge.” My Mum nodded her confirmation, I could see her sadness. All I could say is “Oh.” I tentatively touched the front of my diaper, and feeling the squishiness I racked a sob. My Mum swooped in and gave me another hug, she said. “Shh…shhh…It’s gong to be okay dear…shhhh.” I stopped crying, but my eyes were still watering. The doctor saw all of this and took notes. He started to talk again. “Welllll… seeing as there is nothing I can do here. I have made my suggestions and recommendations. All I can say is that you act quick, this looks to be rather serious.” I nodded my ascent. I pulled my leggings up and put my skirt down. Concealing my diaper. We left the office rather quietly, save for my gentle crinkling. What could be said by anybody? On the drive home, I felt the need to pee. So, I peed. It felt good. It felt right. It felt normal. We got home, and I said to Mum. “I am going to bed, g’night Mum.” “Goodnight baby, sleep well.” I waddled up the stairs to my room. Closing the door, I laid down on the changing mat, and proceeded to ball. Not out of sadness, but out of regret. Regret for having to deceive my Mum. To deceive in order to achieve. After crying myself out, I changed my diaper. Got into bed and fell asleep. Of course, I wet myself. I was after all a bedwetter. I woke up in the morning to a wet diaper, nothing new there. The only new thing is that instead of knickers I got to put on another diaper. What a great feeling! I re-diapered myself and started to get dressed for the day. My trousers didn’t really fit all that well. It was pretty clear that there was something going on under them, that something being a diaper. I smiled to myself thinking of the shopping that I could do. I settled for a knee length skirt and leggings, again. What can I say? It is an outfit that works. I got into the kitchen and made a bowel of cereal for breakfast. Mum entered shortly after. “What are you doing?” She asked. “Eating Breakfast.” “Why?” “Because I have school. Duh. It is a Thrusday.” “Oh, I was going to call you in sick for the rest of the week. Give it some time to ease off. I know how kids can be.” “Don’t do that Mum. That just lets the rumour mill run un-checked. If I show up today I can come up with a reason. Like a UTI or something to explain it away.” “If I have said it once, I have said it a thousand times. You are a very smart little girl. Sorry, young lay.” “Thanks, Mum!” I give her a kiss on the cheek and I grab two bags from the foot of the stairs. One is my books, the other contains my fresh diapers. I am going to have to get used to carrying a diaper bag I hope. I leave the house and start my waddle/walk to the bus stop. School as you can imagine, sucked. The kids were merciless. I got called to the heads office as soon as first period had begun. I had to explain the situation, to him. Yes, I am wearing diapers. No, I don’t know if it is going to be permanent (I hope that it is). Yes, I need a place to put my extras. So, I went on a merry excursion to the nurses office. I handed her the note that the head had written for me. She read it, and said: “You can put your things over there in the empty cubby. If you need any help I will be at my desk. Please don’t hesitate to ask if you need it, I am a trained professional.” I thanked her and I said that I would if I needed. After lunch, I went back to her office. Knocking on the door. I heard: “Come in.” So, I did. She did not look surprised to see me, actually she looked rather glad. I think she is really bored. “Need a change?” She asked. I nodded my affirmation. “Need any help?” I was torn, only my Mum had ever helped me and only at night. I took a leap. “Please, that would be great.” “Sure thing, lay down on the table I will take care of everything.” True to her word, she did. It was the fasted, most professional diaper change ever given. I was un-taped, wiped, creamed, powdered and re-taped before you could say “Boo”. She pulled up my leggings, I put down my skirt. Wow. That was fast. “Thank-you Ms….?” “Oh you can call me Abigail, or Gail. It was nice to meet you. Eh-Sling.” “Actually, it is pronounced: Aeeshling.” I am used to having to correct people regarding my name. “Sorry, dear. I will try to remember, I am horrid with names.” “That’s okay. I am too!” We both smile, and exchange knowing looks. The looks that say, I know your name now, but come tomorrow, you will be a familiar blank. School ends and I get home. I am very wet, having opted out of a change I figured I could wait until I got home. I was right, I didn’t leak. I open the door, head upstairs to take care of pressing business. There is a new item of furniture in my room. I new what it was; from the online searching I had done: It was an adult diaper pail, I played dumb. “Mum!” “Yes?” “What is this?” “What is what?” “This can thing in my room!” “That’s your new diaper pail. If you are going to be wearing diapers for a while, I thought it would be a good idea, cuts down on odour.” I am so excited! I have an adult diaper pail! Must not sound too pleased. I answer in a monotone: “Oh, alright then. I guess that makes sense.” Days turn into weeks. I have just seen the shrink for the first time. Straight off I asked him: “Is everything I say confidential between you and me? Or do you have to tell my Mum?” He replies: “Whatever you choose to tell me stays in this room, provided that it is not against the law, nor does harm to yourself or others.” Having heard that. I spill. I tell him everything. How I have always wanted diapers, how I got my first diapers, how I kept them. How I got them in the daytime. How I am going to keep them in the daytime. Exhausted, I finish my tale. “That is some story Ais, from what you have just told me it looks to me like your mental wellbeing has been fixated upon diapers for so long they are an emotional need for you. You need diapers. Maybe not physically, but mentally to help you cope. We will keep talking. This has been a very, very informative first session.” “Thank-you Doctor.” “If it makes you feel any more comfortable please call me Ben” “Thank-you Ben.” “You are welcome Ais.” I leave his office ten thousand pounds lighter. As expected the Urologist and Proctologist found no physical reason to explain my developing incontinence. I was therefore referred to a Neurologist, just to rule out anything really nasty, MS for instance. That was a waste of NHS funds, nothing there. My sessions with Ben have been going very well. Also on the plus side I have continued to wear and use diapers for the last several months. I now know that this is the life for me. Weeks turn into months, and months turn into years. I have been meeting with Ben every week for the past 5 years. Diapered full-time the whole time. My Mum has since adjusted, her daughter needs diapers. I finally have an adult sized change table in my room. This is my last session with Ben, never once has he recriminated me for the diapers. Leaks on his furniture, bad smells in his air. It doesn’t seem to faze him. I love him for that. After the first several months he made the official recommendation that I remain diapered at all times, it was clear it was what made me happy. My Mum noticed a change in me, my friends at school noticed a change in me. I finally felt like who I was meant to be. But it was time to move on to greener pastures. I was moving out, moving up. Actually West. A long ways West. Canada West. There was an opining for a nurse in a public (In the colonies they say private) school. Having finished by degrees early, I was now a fully qualified nurse practitioner (not needing a bathroom has some advantages), I accepted the position. My Mum was sad to see me go, ever the traditionalist, she held a living wake for me. It was eerie, all the sadness, and the black. I am a single flight away woman! So, I went. I took the job started to set down roots. And that is where you met me. “Hi! My name is Aisling, my friends call me Ais. I am 27 years old. This is my first support group meeting. Like you all I am incontinent…” The meeting ended, and we all broke down our chairs and stacked them up. It was a real treat to see this many adults in one room wearing diapers. The girl who was sitting next to me walks up and says. “Hi, I am Emily. I just want to say, thanks for being brave enough to come out and meet up. It is not many people our age who are comfortable enough with themselves to sit with a group of strangers and say ‘My name is (blank) and I wear diapers’. Kudos to you for your courage.” I smile at her, and reply. “Well, it has been an interesting couple of weeks for me let me tell you, new flat, new city, new country, and most important of all new places to source diapers. I have been having a hard time finding a store with any kind of selection. Do you have any tips?” “What do you mean?” “Well Tena pads and underwear are fine for some, but I need- how do I put this delicately- more substantial protection.” I give her my best knowing look. “Oh…Ohhhh…Ohhhhh! I see what you mean. Most of us just have minor leakage issues, but if I am picking up what you are putting down, you have no control at all.” “That’s it exactly!” “Well I know of one store that might help you. It is not too far of a drive, only a couple of hundred klicks away, just in Waterloo.” She said that like it was nothing. A couple of hundred Kms? That was a long way to an Irish Lass. I said as much. “That is a really long way away!” “No, that’s nothing. I grew up in British Columbia and I drive back every summer. That is a long way 3000 Kms.” I looked at her aghast. 3000 Kms? Holy Moley. So, I trotted out an old Irish saying. “To the Canadians, a hundred years is a long, long time. To the Irish, a hundred kilometres is a long, long way”. I looked at her and smiled sweetly. “See it is all a matter of perspective.” “Smart-ass.” “Diapered ass, actually.” We both laugh at that. I feel myself wet. I am nearing capacity. I must have had a look of distraction on my face because Emily said to me. “Looking for a place to change?” I couldn’t lie, I was done with that. “Yes”. “Come on, my place isn’t far. I take it you have your diaper bag?” “Yes, always” in this new country it was my only friend. Besides Fetlife, and Facebook. “Good, my needs aren’t quiet as severe as yours, I make do with pull-ups. I don’t think that they would cut it for you as a loan” “Really? I couldn’t stand them when I was using those. Always leaking, not substantial enough for my tastes”. “Oh?” “Yeah, but I was out of pull-ups at 15 so my views may be a little foggy with time. I am sure they make them better now.” We walked in as much silence as two diapered women can. Arriving at her flat she let me in. It was immediate, I felt my diaper begin to leak. “Shit, and Bugger, and DamnitalltoHell!” “What’s wrong Aisling?” “I am leaking” “Oh, don’t worry about that, come on, I’ll show you my sanctum sanctorum.” I followed her, walking as gingerly as I could. I felt the wetness trickle down my leg. She opened a door, and revealed a loo. Or at least it looked like one. Upon closer inspection, I noticed that it lacked one key feature common to most loos. There was no toilet. I guess this was her bathroom. She motioned to the change table and closed the door behind her. I undid my now wet trousers and tossed them aside to get stuffed into the wet bag later. My diaper was toast. I mean saturated. Having worn them for so long I hardly notice wettings. I am aware that I am peeing only when I let out an involuntary dribble into a fresh diaper, or when I feel my diaper warm. But I leak constantly, so my diaper is always damp and warm, and therefore I seldom notice. Thanks, be to God I was not messy, I barely notice those either, only when I sit in it or feel it squish do I know for certain. I wear diaper covers to help partially mask the odours associated with that aspect of my incontinence. That overly enthusiastic clerk all those years ago, was right. They helped keep what I did in my diapers a secret between me and them, for the most part. I would have hated to stink up her place on my first time here. I begun wiping up the urine soaked lotion and powder that coated my diaper area. I move next to my bum, making sure it is clean. After being in diapers for the last 12 years I am accustomed to diaper rashes. They come with the territory. But I do everything I can to avoid them. I finish cleaning myself and begin to prepare my new diaper, still sitting on my old one. I can no longer not be in or at least on a diaper. I have learned from experience to keep tape in my diaper bag to give the tapes an ‘assist” (use a hockey term, why not I am in Canada now Eh.). I unfold my fresh diaper and place it under me, only then moving off the used one. I am never not protected. Like I said, I leak constantly. I grab the Vaseline and begin to spread it all over the required areas. I next take the powder and puff it where it needs to go. Taking a wipe, I clean my hands. I tape myself in to my new, clean, dry private toilet for the next couple of hours. I dig out my spare trousers, pull them up and I am good to go! The crotch of my pants bulges a bit. Not too noticeable unless you were staring at it. I don’t really care if my crotch bulges a bit or you do stare. I am wearing a diaper, I need them. What is your hang-up, why you perving out on me? I leave her bathroom, and I see her relaxing on the couch. I sit down next to her. “Mind if I join you?” “Not at all. I welcome it” “Thanks” “Pleasure” We sit in silence for some time, not an awkward silence, but the kind where there is nothing that needs to be said. She breaks it. “So…you said substantial protection, how substantial? I mean, are you aware?” I am a little taken aback by the directness of her query, but I was warned that people in North American are just that direct. I do her the courtesy of a direct answer. “Do you want the short or the long answer?” “Let’s start short, and maybe go long.” “Short Answer: Very substantial, I am completely unaware or either function.” To illustrate my point I stand up and un-button my trousers to show her my diaper, it is already a little wet I can see. I pull them back up. She notices the bulge. “Oh. My. God! You can totally tell, you are wearing a diaper! Aren’t you a little embarrassed that someone will say something? “Not really, I mean if they do, they are perving out on me by staring at my kitty. It just so happens that it is covered by a diaper. They are gross for doing it, if I notice them staring I will say so.” “Okay, well you are brave. Most people are embarrassed by their need for diapers, me included, and I only wear pullups during the day! You just changed, right? It looked to me like your diaper was already damp, am I wrong?” I give it an experimental poke. Affirmative, wet and getting wetter as per the norm. Unconsciously I check the rear for mess. None yet. “Did you just check yourself for wetness?” “Yes, and in case you were wondering, no surprise poops either.” “Wow, you really weren’t kidding about the needing substantial protection.” “No. No I was not.” “Let me get you a glass of something. Whiskey, was it? I want to hear the long version now.” As I sit thinking about how I am going to tell it, she returns with my tumbler. I decide to go for it, tell her the truth. “Okay, but promise not to judge.” “I’ll do my best.” “I first really remember wanting to wear diapers again at age 9. I mean let’s face it, who among us really remember their formative years. You might get the occasional glimpse of a memory from your younger years, but for all intents and purposes you are remembering the stories people have told you about you. You don’t really remember your young childhood. I remember it was rainy, I was watching the T.V. I don’t recall what. What I do recall is that a commercial came on for adult incontinence pants. I was transfixed. They made diapers for grown-ups!? Where, when how can I get my hands on these. Like I said, I was hooked. It was all I thought about. I mean I was still functioning, I went to school, did my class-work, played with my friends, went to church, etc. ad nauseum. It was always there though, in the back of my mind. I dreamt about it, thought about. I almost asked about it once, but my Mum was busy and I lost my nerve….” We Irish, born storytellers
  2. daippers

    are there any good adult baby nursery that recommended
  3. I'm looking for some advice. I'm struggling to tell when my baby needs changing from his wet nappy. I don't want to have to keep asking, as this detracts from the experience for both of us. I've tried squeezing the crouch and putting my finger under/inside the leg of the nappy, but even though I have been looking after my baby for a year, I'm still unsure of when he needs changing. We are currently using the following nappies, none of which have indication strips (as far as I am aware). MyDiaper Sexy Adult MyDiaper Animal MyDiaper Night I would be grateful for any tips and advice, thank you.
  4. Idea 1: My character is a stubborn 23-year-old lawyer whose arrogant ways, forging of evidence, and brattiness get him into serious trouble. When your character(a man he'd framed for a serious crime) discover he pissed all over his office, you take that opportunity to force him into wearing diapers in public. Your character relishes in treating mine like a big baby and making him "accept his place". Idea 2: My character(lawyer or otherwise) is kidnapped by yours. You play a Daddy who simply wants to have an obedient, happy baby to play with. You're delusional, and you see my character as a cute little baby boy who just needs to be disciplined and cared for by "Daddy". When my character acts like a big boy, however, you become domineering and sadistic, going to extreme lengths to demean and hurt him until he starts being a baby again.
  5. do any know of any adult baby nursery in USA as i have alway want to go to one
  6. I think building tension in stories is the best way to excite the reader. They are especially helpful when reinforcing power dynamics (a major part of any story with D/S elements) amongst the characters. When you're writing for a fetish, you have the benefit of assuming that your reader is aroused or is looking to become aroused. Because of this, I think the best approach is to tease them a little and to hint at what's to come then from there build it by dragging out. For example, say you're making a scene where the tension is wetting, it would go something like this: "You were such a good girl drinking both your bottles for Nanny! Weren't you? Yes you were!" Katie hated that this woman could do this to her. Her Daddy knew she didn't like Nanny, a woman only 10 years older than her, yet fully in charge while Daddy was at work. But in her marriage, she didn't make the rules. So here we have a power dynamic created, the reluctantly submissive infantilized wife, who is competing against her caretaker while her Daddy is away. The use of a Nanny is especially good because the reader knows that Daddy will win no matter what, even Katie has accepted that. If we wanted Katie to get punished for something she could compete against him. But this Nanny, well...maybe Katie can retain some control over her situation after all. Nanny might be an agent enforcing Daddy's will, but she isn't Daddy. We've also introduced an element that will have to be addressed, the not one but two bottles Katie has ingested. The fact she was praised for this implies it was somehow harder to do and potentially challenging. It also implies she has done something Nanny wanted. So, score the first point for Nanny. "Now come along Katie, crawl alongside Nanny to the rocking chair. That's a good girl. Up on Nanny's knee, it's ok to stand up." Using her helpless mitten-encased hands, Katie pushed up and begrudgingly sat on the vile woman's lap. Her large pacifier hid most of her scowling expression, but her eyes still blazed resentment at her situation. Her thick diaper crinkled as she lowered herself onto Nanny's knee. "Sit up straight now darling," Nanny corrected. Katie straitened up, her naked breasts peeking out from under the bottom of her bib, nipples dangling in front of Nanny and ensuring she had no modesty here. So these were just a few little battles that Katie has chosen not to fight Nanny on. Maybe she has tried earlier and lost. Maybe her bottom is still sore from the last time Nanny had to tell her to sit up straight. She had to get permission just to stand up? More to the point, Katie didn't stand until she was told it was ok. The point is, these are easy little ways to reinforce who is in control here. Even calling her darling, when Katie has clearly shown she is not her darling, is a great way to reinforce who is running the show. Nanny is scoring more points, but they're small ones. But allowing Nanny to score them is important, because the reader likes being reminded in unique little ways that Katie isn't in control. We've set the stage for something larger though, now let's find out what it is. Nanny reached up and removed the pacifier from Katie's mouth. "Don't worry little one, I'll make sure you get it back as soon as we're done." Nanny's smile was not returned. Suddenly Katie felt a hand gliding up her back, stopping in the middle below her shoulder blades. Gently, yet forcefully, Katie felt the hand rhythmically begin patting her back. "Let it all out little one. That was a lot of milk you just drank." Katie stared at the wall in front of her, feeling her face redden. Nanny only smiled. A text alert came on Nanny's phone, but she didn't lose pace for a second as she reached for it with her free hand. Katie felt a slight urge to burp and, with embarrassment, gave a little squeak. "Very good baby!" Nanny cheered as she unlocked her phone, never lifting her eyes. As much as she hated it, she knew her caretaker wouldn't stop until Katie had done this at least two or three times. Katie lowered her face to try and sneak a peak at Nanny's phone, held in the hand that now rested on Katie's smoothly shaven legs. Without taking her eyes off the phone Nanny told Katie "eyes ahead" with a tone of warning, all the while never stopping her rhythmic patting. "Well baby girl, it seems your Daddy will be home early today." Katie's heart practically lept for joy with the knowledge she would be freed of her tormentor earlier than expected. "How long?" Katie could feel angry eyes looking up at her, so she quickly added, "Nanny". This seemed to placate her. "He'll be here in an hour or so, maybe a little longer." This was excellent news. If Daddy was going to be here in an hour, that meant she wouldn't have to put up with Nanny giving her another change. She was beginning to feel the first inklings of pressure from her bottles, so she knew would be close, but Katie could manage. Buoyed by this pleasant news, Katie gave another little burp, much to Nanny's delight. Now we know what's at stake here. Katie does not like being changed by her Nanny. She can prevent this by waiting until Nanny leaves to need a diaper change. Note that it's inevitable that she will use her diaper, the two bottles Nanny gave her at the beginning of the scene have determined that, but she does have a chance at winning some control. This is what the audience loves. It's such a low bar to meet that requires such little control, yet we've magnified the stakes because it takes place in the larger context of the power struggle between Katie and Nanny. All the little battles Katie has been losing throughout the scene won't matter because if she can just get this one victory, she will have won the game. She demonstrates this by happily burping, indicating that there's only one fight she wants to take on. Now, let's add the tension. "Well Katie, I think that's enough of that for today. Those bottles should be nice and comfy in your tummy." Nanny gave her a little poke in her stomach to press her point. This annoyed Katie, but she was ready to get off Nanny's lap and back to her play pen to wait for Daddy. Katie shifted her weight forward to bring her toes to the floor. From there she would plop down and await the instruction to "crawl". Before polka dotted socks could touch the carpet however, Nanny pushed her back into her seated position. "Just where are you in a hurry to get to, little one?" Nanny demanded, looking a bit surprised. "I...I wanted to go back to playing with my toys," Katie lied. "Ummhmmm," Nanny hummed with a skeptical look. "Slide over just a little bit sweetie," Nanny commanded. Reluctantly Katie slid on her lap, guided of course by Nanny's hands, until she faced away from Nanny and towards the room, her diapered butt squarely on the tops of Nanny's knees. This shift had caused her legs to spread wide on either direction of Nanny's. The position caused a slight uptick in pressure in Katie's bladder. "Nanny, what ar-" "Shhhhhh," Nanny quieted Katie's worried question. She lifted her pacifier back up towards her mouth, the rubber barely clipping her naked breast before it found its way between her lips. Nervous, Katie gave a cautionary and accepting suck. "Thaaat's a good girl," Nanny said as she stroked her hair. "I wanted to surprise little Katie with a ride today! Yes I did!" With that, Nanny began a gentle bounce with her knees, causing Katie to breathe in with surprise. "See?" Nanny asked. "You're riding a horsey! Isn't that fun?" Katie looked alarmed. The gentle knee bounces couldn't get much more violent before the escalating pressure they put on her bladder could cause a problem. "Nanwy, I don't wike this game." Katie pleaded from behind her pacifier and over the loud crinkles of her diaper. Both the reader and Katie know about the urge to pee she is fighting. We also know that Katie is supposed to be in control of her situation. She picked her battle knowing she only had to beat the clock, but now Nanny has thrown off the routine! But it's too late to change the objective. Katie just has to work harder for it now, meaning we've raised the stakes. The greater the challenge, the greater the reward...but also the bigger the potential fall. Katie tries to get a handle on things by pleading with Nanny to let her off to play with her toys, not good in a battle of wills. Will it work? "Now now little one, this is a fun game. See?" With that, Nanny put her arms around Katie and intensified her bounces. Of course not! Nanny shows her power as the conflict escalates. Katie lowered her hands, pressing them into the front of her diaper in a bid to fight the building pressure. If she could only close her legs! Nanny reached out and grabbed her wrists, pushing them up above her shoulders. "Hands up on the horsey, baby girl! It's like you're in the rodeo! Weeee!" With a grimace and a look of disdain Katie bit down on her pacifier, meekly holding her hands up in the air as she bounced up and down, up and down...Her arms now bouncing as much as her exposed breasts, her childish bib flailing as if in the wind. The pressure was rapidly building, but Katie knew Nanny couldn't keep this up forever. She just had to hang on... Suddenly she felt fingers at her exposed sides. Just below her ribs they danced quickly across her skin. By reflex, Katie shot her arms down to defend her sides. She arched her back in an attempt to get away, her diapered butt knowing better than to try and escape from Nanny's knee. An unwilling smile formed and she bit down to try and keep her pacifier in place, another object that was forbidden to leave by anything by Nanny's hand. A pained giggle emanated from behind the plastic guard. Nanny stopped momentarily to lift up her hands and to remind her, sternly, that she was at the rodeo, doubling her bouncing efforts at the same time. Immediately, her fingers continued their torment. Katie was on the edge of bursting into tears, as much from the tickling and squirming she was helplessly doing as from the exponentially rising pressure in her bladder. Just hang on! Katie was yelling to herself on the inside. She was giggling uncontrollably, and each laughter weakened the dam she was trying desperately to hold up. She could feel Nanny's legs slowing however, weakening from the weight of bouncing an grown adult woman. Her fingers seemed to be tiring as well, as Katie forced herself to try and relax and stop being tickled. We're at the climax now, and in her darkest hour Katie can see rays of hope. She's at the breaking point. Nanny has thrown surprises at her but she has so far persevered. Can she hang on and win her battle? "Pleaseeee Nannnyyyyyy," Katie pleaded through gritted teeth. Finally, her tormentor removed her fingers. A few surrendering bounces stopped as her tired legs came to a halt. Nanny laughed as she looked curiously at the woman on her lap. Katie was breathing heavily and still desperately hanging on. A drop or two had been absorbed by her diaper, but only she would know. "Well, didn't you have fun at the rodeo, little one?" Nanny asked casually, quickly slipping two fingers under her diaper to check for wetness. They were a little slow to withdraw, almost as if disappointed. Katie smirked behind her pacifier, though from her position she was confident Nanny couldn't see. Ah haaa. Now we see that Nanny knew what game they were playing the whole time. Was this always her plan? Is that why she gave so many bottles, to force out a wetting? We don't know if Nanny has planned this from the beginning or adopted it when she got the text, but now we understand Katie has won a game with even higher stakes than she realized. This is a big victory for a woman (dare we call her by her real age? Has she earned that?) who doesn't get many at all. Taking one more deep breath to recover, her confidence was growing. With an air of victory Katie responded, "Yeth Nanny, I di-" Suddenly she felt two arms on her tummy, squeezing in tight. She had been looking towards the ceiling to conceal her little smirk and didn't realize Nanny had reached around her waist to give an apparent hug. With a gasp Katie exhaled, her pacifier falling towards her dangling legs. The force of Nanny's squeeze caused her top half to lose her balance, her back pressing into Nanny's waiting chest. The back of her head came to rest beside Nanny's own, gently on her shoulder. If someone had taken a picture, they would have seen a smiling caretaker holding relaxed adult baby girl, her legs spread wide and high in an attempt to regain balance, and a diaper puffing out on the superior woman's lap. Before she had even realized what was going on, Katie heard the sound she had dreaded every day she spent with this woman. The dark spot already forming on the white and puffy elevated diaper. Though their faces were right next to each other, they watched with different expressions. Katie's dismay at her failure bore out on her face as she bit her lip in an attempt to ward off tears. A confident smile appeared on Nanny's face, a quick flash a sadism telling the world she had achieved the result she wanted. Katie tried to sit up, but Nanny pulled her in tight. "Good girl Katie, just let it all out." Defeated, Katie simply relaxed against Nanny's body and froze into place. A muffled sniffle managed to be heard above the wetting, but the tears would soon form. "It's alright sweetie, we'll go straight to the changing table and get you a fresh clean diaper. I might make it a nighttime one, we've been saying these daytime diapers just don't do the trick for too long now. Yes, this one's gonna be sooo full when you finish." With that Katie could no longer contain herself. She let out a wail that filled the room. Nanny simply cooed and patted her head until Katie had finished. After the diaper could take no more, Nanny gently let the baby back on the floor. Soggy and wet, Katie waited instruction as she tried to quiet herself on all fours. Picking up Katie's pacifier from the floor, Nanny cleaned it on her dangling bib before plopping it back into her mouth. Katie looked up at her with defeated and watery eyes. Nanny gave her a gentle smile before looking forward and beginning to walk towards the door. She allowed herself a few feet a which Katie, surprised again, only looked at the back of her caretaker. "Crawl," she said to the front of the room. Soggy diaper in tow, Katie did. Ah yes, it's always fun to keep the reader on their toes. Even when Katie thinks she's won, Nanny snatches back a victory. It was a humiliating defeat for Katie and she can't even contain that she lost. She cried when she wet her diaper because she knew both of them knew she was trying to hold it in. Ironically, if Katie had just submitted and wet like a good little girl without a fuss, the victory for Nanny would have been like the others, uncontested and un-noteworthy. If the story had continued, it's this game where it's best if you don't play that slowly breaks down a submissive character. We can see in the future where Katie has lost so many battles like this she doesn't even try, she becomes the compliant baby that Nanny wants. But for right now, she is still fighting and losing, and that's the potent spice to the story. Katie chose to fight and because of that she lost more than just the right to avoid one of Nanny's diaper changes. That is how you can use power dynamics and tension to build up your story.
  7. There was a great flash like lightening, and heat filled the room. He felt himself burning and woke in panic, not understanding what was going on. All around him was piercing noise, sirens slowly twisting into screams. His breath was cut off. In the noise he wasn’t sure if his calls for help were going unanswered or simply never left his mouth. He was in the air, moving without will as he was crushed against a mass of rough brown cloth. Screams still followed, distant and barely audible under a moaning, lurching sound, but piercing into his ears and his mind none the less, and going answered. He was outside. He felt the ground under his body. The cold air cut into him after the intense heat and he fell shuddering. The screaming continued, but morphed into a moaning, crashing sound, and stopped. Noise filled the gap. People were crying. Sirens wailed. The screaming remained inside him, echoing in his mind, and mixing with the ice cold wind. Something wrapped around him and he was warm again, and he hoped to never feel that cold again. He was in another place. The cold was gone, but the screaming remained. It was a different sort, a deeper, thicker, rougher shout, but still there, and he shuddered. Steven awoke in a cold sweat. The alarm was going off, screeching for his attention. He hit the button. He would have to get that sound changed.He got undressed and headed into the shower. He turned on the nozzle, and the heat came with a loud hiss… Burning, screaming… He shook his head and removed the thoughts. He blanked them out, turning his mind to other things. He had to get up. He had to get dressed. He had his job to do and a random nightmare was no excuse not to.He got clean as quickly as he could, dried off, and got dressed. His typical black suit and tie, along with permanently polished shoes and watch. He grabbed his long coat to go with it, and headed down stairs to the kitchen. Breakfast was already waiting for him. He thanked his maid and moved out the door.He got in a car - this one was a red sports car, for every second day of the work week- and turned the ignition, preparing himself for the noise. He had paid more than enough for it, and as the salesman said “if it doesn’t wake the neighbors, its not doing its job.” He never really enjoyed it too much, but it was almost expected to own something similar where he worked. He could drive in something cheaper. No one would really say anything. They would think it, though.The engine came alive and roared loudly… Crashing, moaning…“DAMINT!” he shouted. He thought he had gotten rid of those images. Years of hard work and secretive therapy sessions should have ensured it.He could call in sick. No one would say anything, of course. He was allowed to.They would all think it though. Just like the car. His boss was on his fifteenth year without a break. His step father had gone the full 35 years before his age granted him the leniency for sick days.He cursed, and drove off.He arrived at the office twenty-five minutes early, or, as he called it, ‘late’. He walked through the long grey hallways dotted with cubical and water coolers and made his way to his office. He passed by people he knew by name and department and flashed polite, empty smiles. He opened the door and went in. He had a large, lightly decorated office with a massive desk, a garbage can and a window whose blinds he kept perpetually closed. People started drifting into the building, chatting around his office. He concentrated on his work, but the noise built until finally had to slam his door shut.The time drifted by in odd bursts and lulls. He didn’t pay it much mind, he had work to do, and wouldn’t leave until it was done.A loud screeching noise made him jump.Screaming, shouting…He looked down at his phone and lifted the receiver.“Hello is this the Henry Berran Brokers?” a shrill voice asked.“Yes, this is Mergers and Acquisitions,” he replied.“Excellent. Do you know…”Something was happening outside. People were speaking, loudly.“if that is true, should we…”He took out a pen and began copying down what she told him.The voices were getting louder. Through the closed door, he couldn’t make out what they were saying.“And then I’ll need…”He made out the sound of his senior, Michael McNaughton. He began to shout at someone. He was always shouting.Shouting, screaming…“large tubes of..”He was getting louder and louder. He could picture him, red faced…Burning, steaming…Shouting louder, louder…Screaming, calling…“place it inside…”Someone was crying.Crying, moaning…“it may hurt a bit…”He was throwing things, tearing them apart.Moaning, crashing… The last remains of sunlight cut through the blinds, hurting his eyes.Burning, cutting“But I think we are ready…”Steven shouted and through his phone from his desk. It crashed into the wall opposite of him. He stared at it, breathing heavily.Finally he ran up to it again and picked it up. The women was still speaking.“Hello? What was that? It sounded like a crash!” she said.“Sorry, I, uhh… dropped my phone,” he replied.“Alright. Well is there anything else you need to know?”“No, that is fine,” Steven said. He was sure he had everything he needed in his notes.“Aright, well, goodbye! Thanks for everything.”“No, thank you.” He hung up the phone.He stared down at his notepad. Gibberish, completely illegible.He tried to remember any detail of the call. Her name, where she worked… nothing came to mind.He tore the piece of paper from his notebook and threw it into the trash bin. Hopefully it wasn’t anything important. He thought about calling back the same number, but it would probably only lead to a directory, and that was useless without knowing the department which called.He looked at his watch. It was late, most people were probably clearing the office. Never the less, he sat back down at his desk and kept working. There was still work to do, and leaving too early would always look bad.When he finally finished it was dark. The air was cold,Cold air, howling wind… and he pulled his jacket against it. He got into his car and began to drive away.He watched the road as closely as he could. The images from the dream kept coming back, and he shook them out of his mind.He turned the radio on, hoping it would help him clear the images out.He didn’t know the station. It seemed good enough at first, people talking calmly. They were announcing a new song. It came on gently, with a moment of silence. There was a voice whispering something, getting louder, and louder..Suddenly the singer was screamingScreaming, shoutingThe guitar came blasting randomly, pouring out notes faster and faster.Moaning, burning…The drums pounded.Crashing, falling. Screaming, shouting Falling, biting Burning, chocking, Flashing, cutting Howling, whining He screamed and fumbled at the radio. He looked down to turn the nob, and didn’t notice the light changing in front of him. He sped through, and a truck smashed into the side of his vehicle.…Steven woke up again, this time to gentle singing. He had no idea where he was. He was surrounded by warmth, and felt cushions piled around him. Everything was soft and silken, from the voice to the blankets. He sank into them and wished he could go back to sleep. He hadn’t felt this way in as long as he could remember.Finally he opened his eyes completely, and saw a white tiled roof he did not recognize. He sat up completely. He looked down at himself. He seemed to be fine. He didn’t seem to be injured and couldn’t feel pain anywhere. He was wearing long white pajamas. They weren’t his own, but they were comfortable and fit perfectly. The room he was in was painted a golden hue, and had wall to wall carpeting.There was a women sitting on a chair in front of him. She had been the one singing, and stopped when he saw her.“What is going on? Where am I?” he asked.“Don’t worry about that right now. You are safe,” she replied, in a voice as soft as the cushions.“But I need to contact someone. I need to get back to work, I…” he stopped as she shushed him and put a finger on his lips.“Don’t worry about that, sweetheart. Don’t even think about work. It will all be alright. You are with us now, and we are going to take care of you. We will take care of everything you’ll ever need, and everything you could ever want. All you have to do is trust us.”Despite their strangeness, he felt a calm reassurance at her words. He realized he really did trust her. He nodded, and smiled. (If anyone is wondering, there is going to be ABDL material later. The story just needed some set up. So don't worry your pampered butts :p)
  8. Hi,. I'm Steve from Glossop in the UK. Whilst I'm actually 44, in my mind I am a dirty 14 year old boy that kind of likes to wet and mess in his white briefs. Sometimes I like to be wearing a nappy because I just can't be trusted to be in big boys underpants, but ultimately I am put back in briefs as nappies should be for little boys. I'm looking forward to exploring the site, and bringing out the little boy in me again.
  9. Wet diaper under neith my new cuddle waddle romper so warm and fuzzy
  10. So I started writing this new story I just wanted to get some feedback on whether everyone would want me to keep going. I'm really bad at getting the character dialog right so please give me examples if its wrong. The story will also have some grammar issues that I missed but anyways just let me know if I should continue. Now lets start the show. Society The year is 2123 and the once iconic United States is all but changed. In 2018 the first fully functioning A.I. was turned on, what followed was an explosion of technology, medical advancements, and abundance of luxury goods. Robots took care of mundane task that Americans faced daily, new medical procedures allowed people to live long, food was more abundant, and for some luxury items grew past their expectations. Being from the working poor I never dreamed of such luxuries. “Justin you need to wake up and meet me downstairs!” my mom said as she shook me awake from my deep sleep. Slowly I raised up from my bed and rubbed the sleep from my eyes, I look over to my stained white alarm clock noticing that its 8:12 in the morning. “Ugh, this better be good.” I say as I throw off the covers and make my way downstairs. Both me and the stairs pop I as I make my way downstairs before rounding the corner. Mom is sitting on the coach with her laptop humming away while a cup of coffee sits in front of her on the coffee table. “So what’s the big news that couldn’t wait?” I ask taking a seat beside her. “Well first things first, I want to say I’m sorry for not being able to spend more time with you.” “And I know you missed how it used to be when your father was alive but that’s all about to change.” Mom says as she takes a sip of her cooling coffee. “So what is it?” I say annoyed which gets me a glaring looking from mom. “Well the past five years I’ve been working on a new software algorithm and as of this morning I’m a sellout.” Mom said chuckling to herself. “The piece that I wrote was just bought by AMD for five hundred million dollars.” My jaw drops as I realize that everything is about to change for the better. “I’ve already purchased us a new home in the upper end of Baltimore.” “Ok, but what about our home and stuff here?” I ask knowing what we have isn’t worth much. “Don’t worry about that honey, I’ve already started the selling process to a local business that’s been eyeing the place since we moved in.” “Our new place is already fully stocked with most the things we need, later on I’ll let you order what you want from amazon but for now I need you to get dressed as our ride to the new place should be here at exactly 8:30.” It didn’t take long before mom and I were well on our way to the upper parts of Baltimore, as we passed the run down neighbor hoods I felt a sense of pride from where I came from, although me and mom didn’t have much we had each other and that was more than what most people had. When we finally arrived at our new place I was shocked when a white humanoid android came walking out to greet mom. “Good afternoon miss Jane I hope the ride here was a pleasant one.” “Thank you Handy, it was quite memorable.” Mom said as she placed her hand on my shoulder. “Would you mind showing Justin to his room I need to make a few phone calls.” “Of course miss Jane, right this way mister Justin.” Handy said as he gestured inwards to the door. As I stepped through the door I was taken back as a white light scanned my body. “Male 16 years of age, 180 pounds, height 5 feet 9 inches, blood type B positive, good afternoon Justin and welcome to your new home.” The voice said as I looked around trying to figure out where it came from. “Thank you Genie for the updated details, I’ll will store that information in mister Justin’s profile.” Handy said as he led the way to my new room. The walls were decorated nicely with varying art and on a few occasions we passed pictures of me, dad, and mom. The photos looked as if they been taken directly from my mother old photo book. “Here we are mister Justin.” Handy said as he pushed open the door to my new room. The room was pretty bland as almost everything was white. The carpet, white, walls white, and even my bed’s blanket is white. “Now mister Justin you can change the appearance of your room by using this panel over here.” Handy said as he walked just left of my door were a 10 inch led screen appeared. “You can change colors, textures, and even add videos to your walls.” Handy said has went through a selection of a Variety of colors and wallpapers. Just as he finished his demonstration Handy pushed a button and a table matching the color of the walls slid out from the wall adjacent to my bed. “Now mister Justin before you begin reconfiguring your room and exploring I must insist that we get you into a diaper.” I stood dumfounded at what he just said and it took me a few minutes to realize that Handy was in fact not Joking.
  11. I'm looking to play where a psychotic girl wishes for a new toy,a living baby doll to take care of. Her parent's grant her wish by kidnapping me and using paralytic agents to keep me as helpless as a newborn. If anyone wishes to play please let me know.
  12. Okay, I think I'm ready to be a diaper lover and try wetting, but I need some help and advice first. I also want to crossdress a bit and do it as a girl. So this is what I want to do. First, I need everybody's pick on a thick diaper, then I need everybody's pick on a dress, finally (and most important), I need to know what should I wear that will keep my legs open. Not being able to cross my legs before I wet would seem like the ultimate humiliation and it would make me feel like I regressed back to a baby. (Which is what I want to do). I appreciate any help and thank you for listening. I also apologize if I posted this in the wrong forum.
  13. I am not professional at writing, I simply felt like giving writing something a go. I will happily accept constructive feedback, at this point this may just be a one off thing. It's just something short and sweet, if it get's enough interest I may continue. ----------------------------------- "And why do I see a little girl not wearing her nappy?" I say with a disapproving tone as I see a naked little girl sitting in the lounge room. You jump not realising I had returned home from work, and not waiting for a response I pick you up and carry you to the bedroom. As I lay you down on the change table, I softly spank you on the bottom. "Princess, daddy left this morning and you were in a dry nappy… Where did that nappy go?” I ask sternly. You giggle and point to the corner of the room where a dry nappy lay crumpled, tapes ripped off. Not impressed, I roll you over and give you 10 quick spanks. You wince at each smack, 1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5.. 6.. 7.. 8.. 9.. 10.. “I.. I.. I sowwy daddy” You squeak on the tenth spank. “For what…” I encourage. “I sowwie for removing my nappy, especially without your permission daddy.” I flip you back onto your back, pleased with your apology. I pull out a ABU Little Paws nappy out from under the table, and unfold it in front of you. I grab your ankles and lift them up in the air, sliding the nappy under you with ease and then bringing you down to rest on the fresh padding. Sprinkling powder on your crotch and pulling up your nappy, taping the sides tight enough to prevent leaks and prevent any unwanted falling. I tap the front of the nappy and blow a raspberry around your belly button. You giggle and let out a high squeal. I raise you up so that you are sitting on the table, I turn around and pick up some clothing from the cupboard. You raise your head and move in an attempt to see what I had picked up for you to wear. I reveal white and pink, butterfly pattern plastic pants, with a chain and lock around the waist. I push you back and pull the pants up your legs and with a ‘click’, the pants were secured on. Next was a matching t-shirt onesie, I pop it over your head. “Boo!” I exclaimed, when I caught your precious eyes. I do up the snaps in the crotch and announce that you are all done. I pick you up and take you back into the lounge room, plop you down in the middle of the room, you instantly turn around and resume watching the tv, I grab your playpen and place it around you, I grab the remote and change the channel over to ABC. You start to whine, to which I say “only big girls can watch big girl shows, little girls must watch ABC and cartoons.” As I walk towards the kitchen I rub your head and say “Now stay here and watch your shows, while Daddy goes to make you some milk”. I walk into the kitchen and grab you a pink toddler sippy cup, I pour in some milk and microwave it to warm it up. I take the milk out to you and sit it inside your playpen. “Here you are baby, some nice warm milk” Your eyes are fixed on the tv, you just reach out into random spaces until you feel the warmth of the cup. I look at my watch and decide it’s not yet time for dinner. I sit there and watch you transfixed on the moving shapes and colours on the TV screen, and I notice you becoming more and more restless. I try and get your attention, “Baby.” Nothing, I get up and walk over to you, I kneel down and touch your shoulder. “Honey, are you ok?” You look at me slightly dazed, and you nod. “Does my little need to go potty?”. You instantly blush and slowly nod your head. “Good thing you’re wearing your potty baby.” I rub the front of your nappy. You blush even more, and start to nibble on your thumb.”Here hunnie…” I pick you up and take you over to the couch, I sit you in my lap, so that your legs wrap around me. “…come sit with daddy and we can get dinner started soon.” You nestle into my chest and I wrap my arms around you and rub your back. A few moments of fidgeting later, I feel a sensation of warmth reaching the top of my legs. “Good Girl.”
  14. diapers

    Sunday morning, wet and ready to start day. Need to change. Happy sunday! What are you wearing?
  15. Happy 4th of July weekend! What are you wearing? Hope you have a goodnite like me!
  16. I've always thought it would be exciting form of punishment to be restrained on the changing table with an unfolded diaper underneath while Mommy straddled me (reverse cowgirl) and wet my diaper for me. Then she would tape it up and put me down for a soggy diaper nap. I haven't seen this scenario played out really at all in stories or on websites. I'm curious if anyone has had an experience like this they are willing to share?
  17. Good morning. Another goodnite sleep! Don't want to get out of bed! So warm and comfy! Did you have a good night too?
  18. (This is my first attempt at writing straight-up erotica content. There's not too much here beyond setup, but there'll be more action and less description later on.) Chapter 1 “So you’re all checked in and ready to fly?” Jenny asked the computer screen, grinning at the image of her boyfriend from across a couple state lines. “The weather isn’t going to be an issue?” “They said the storm was clearing up nicely, boarding starts in a couple minutes,” Mike replied, his grin somehow audible through the tinny computer speaker. He was quite a bit taller than the diminutive Jenny - Almost a foot and a half over her, putting him at six foot three, and his short cut brown hair and constant broad smile gave him a constantly charismatic appearance.“Are you excited for me to get home?” “I always am,” Jenny told him, running a finger under the waistband of her jeans and feeling the metal and plastic beneath it, a slightly foreign object that she’d gotten used to over the past week. “Though maybe this time a little more than usual.” Mike laughed. “I’d bet. Have you- Oh, it looks like they’re calling for us to start lining up, I’ve got to go. Thank you so much, sweetie, I’ll see you in a couple hours. You’re still picking me up, right?” “Of course,” Jenny said, nodding even though she was alone in the room. “See you soon.” Mike hung up, leaving Jenny looking at her own image in the webcam for a minute: A redhead with slightly past shoulder length messy hair, a button nose, freckles that stubbornly refused to go away well into her mid twenties and had to be covered up with makeup, and bright green eyes. Of course the webcam didn’t show much from the neck down, or else her small frame, large breasts, and lack of clothing above the waist would have been visible. This had all started two weeks ago. With Mike’s birthday coming up, Jenny had asked him if he wanted anything special to commemorate the date. It had taken a little coaxing, but after a while she’d finally managed to get him to confess to one of his biggest fantasies. Jenny had been a little surprised to hear what it was: Chastity was something she’d heard of before, once or twice, but not to the extent that Mike had been talking about. He’d said he wanted to have Jenny totally locked away from herself, not just in a chastity belt, but fully dressed as an innocent little girl, one who he would get to release, one lock at a time, until he had her totally undressed and naked on his bed, pleading for him to take away her innocence. Of course, Jenny wasn’t innocent. The two of them were both very sure of that, they’d been dating for far too long for there to be any doubt. Furthermore, the idea of being trapped in girlish and juvenile clothes the way he had described wasn’t appealing in the slightest to Jenny, and when he mentioned having on diapers beneath the clothes, Jenny had felt downright grossed out. Even plain chastity play wasn’t exactly her cup of tea, she liked her sex regular and rough, and when Mike was out of town she had no qualms about handling things herself to fill the gap. In the end, though, her desire to see Mike happy had won out, and she’d compromised. He had a week long business trip that would end the night before his birthday, and so she’d let Mike pick out a chastity belt for her, and the day he left they made a little ceremony of his locking her up, with the promise that he’d return in a week to let her out. It wasn’t quite the whole fantasy he had described, but it was enough to make him plenty happy. Going a week without sex of any kind had been even more frustrating than Jenny had expected, and she was horny enough to consider buying a pair of bolt cutters by that afternoon, but she knew that Mike would be home in just a couple hours and then he’d help her out with that particular problem. Of course, Mike didn’t know what the rest of his surprise was just yet, but that’s why it was called a “Surprise.” In the week while he was gone, Jenny had done some shopping online, a little research, and planned out everything perfectly. She wanted his birthday to be perfect, and so she’d gotten it all planned out just right. Shutting her laptop and kicking off her jeans so that she was left wearing nothing except the tightly locked chastity belt, Jenny got to her feet and strolled to the bedroom. Her apartment had no windows except in the bedroom, and that one was covered up by blinds and curtains, so she didn’t need to worry about any voyeurs. She just had to get properly dressed, and then she could wait an hour or so and go pick up Mike from the airport. Boy, would he be surprised. Sliding out a box from underneath her bed, Jenny popped it open and scanned the contents before she saw the first thing she was looking for. Well, the first three things: A trio of thick, white diapers with teddy bears decorating the front. She was told the teddy bears would fade if they got wet, but that wasn’t something she’d ever put to the test, so it was really a moot point. The sample pack had come with three, though, and so all three she would wear: This was a one time thing for Mike after all, no need to be wasteful. Unfolding the diapers one at a time, she grabbed a tube of baby powder from the box and then laid down on her bed before trying to remember the instructions from the tutorial she’d found online. Two of the diapers had already been scored with a sharp knife on the back in preparation, so those she put on first. Applying a thick layer of baby powder, which made her cough as it clouded up around her, she pulled the first diaper between her legs, folded it over the chastity belt, and taped it snugly in place. A perfect fit, as it turned out. The next diaper went on just as easily, though the third one she had to tug on the tapes a little bit to get it to fit. By the time she was done, her legs were forced several inches apart, and when she sat up to go back to the box she quickly realized that any attempt to walk anywhere would be extremely difficult and probably end up more as a waddle. It was a good thing she only had to make it to her car and to the airport, and then Mike would be able to get her out of everything. Grabbing the next item from the box, she held it up and paused. Once this went on, there was no going back. It was a pair of pink plastic pants, the kind used to prevent diaper leaks, though this pair had cartoon depictions of ponies on the front and a slot for a small padlock on the back. Jenny had the lock, Mike had the key. Once the cover went on, she’d be at his mercy to get it off - Which was exactly what Mike wanted. The helplessness, as he had explained, was the whole point. So, sighing and slipping the pink cover over her diaper, she tightened the waistband and then with a single, solid “Click”, the diapers were sealed between her legs. But that wasn’t all, not by a longshot. Jenny wasn’t one to half ass anything, and with the diapers out of the way, the rest of the toys seemed like a breeze. The next things to go on were a pair of lacy pink stockings, with hooks which attached to the plastic pants to keep them pulled up her legs and - of course - locked on. Four quiet “Clicks” later, and those were in place. Next came the onesie, something resembling a pink T-shirt (With pony designs matching the ones on the plastic pants,) with buttons on the crotch and a zipper up the back. Dangling from a red ribbon just above the breast there was a pink pacifier sized large enough for an adult’s mouth, pinned permanently to the Onesie as well. Jenny tugged it on, buttoned up the crotch, and pulled up the zipper - And, of course, that meant three more small locks. Over that went a pink skirt - Really more of a miniskirt than anything, it was barely six inches long - which also locked into place. Doing her hair was a particularly fun touch, and one she didn’t even mind all that much: She combed her messy hair, braided it into pigtails, and then used two special pink clips which would also require unlocking to keep the hair braided rather than a ribbon or bow. Getting near the bottom of the box, she pulled out a pair of white Mary Janes, with small locks hidden on the buckle. That was two more ‘Clicks’, and then all Jenny had left was the collar. It was pink (Of course,) leather, and a little tight around Jenny’s neck, all of which were up to Mike’s specifications. It even had a small metal nametag on the front, with Jenny’s name stamped in place as well. Once Jenny had that around her neck, one final click of a lock signalled to her that she was all dressed and ready to go. “Happy birthday, Mike,” She said to herself, checking out the whole wardrobe in a mirror. Standing was awkward - Her legs bowed out like a toddler trying to keep her footing, and even with the onesie keeping everything in place around her waist, the bulk from the triple diapers was enough that it would be impossible to totally conceal. The plastic pants rustled and crinkled beneath the onesie at every movement of her hips or legs, and when Jenny put a hand on the crotch of the diaper and rubbed up and down a couple times, she couldn’t feel a thing beneath all the padding and layers. Between the very girlish clothes, the obvious padding, her hair, and most of all her size, Jenny very nearly could have passed for a genuine toddler, albeit a particularly busty one. It felt strange, to say the least. While Jenny was free to walk around and do whatever she liked, she was still trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey, and there was almost nothing she could do about it until Mike’s flight came in. He was going to love it. Hearing a beep, Jenny looked over to her phone where it was charging on her nightstand. A text from someone, apparently. Waddling over - Keeping a hand on the wall to keep from tripping - She checked it. From Mike. Mike: (7:26 PM) Weather’s getting bad again, ice on the runway. Looks like the flight will be delayed until tomorrow. Sorry. :/ Jenny looked at the text, and then down at her clothes, and then back up at the text. “Fuck.”
  19. I'm trying something new: a story with two different "paths". Basically, after the prologue section, which ends in a choice being made, the story 'splits' into two separate stories, following the outcomes of the different choices - first a story covering the outcome of Choice A, and then another for Choice B. I hope it doesn't go over too poorly... DISCLAIMER: Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha is the property of 7Arcs Studios; this is a fan-based work and I make no money off of it. ----------------------- To say that Teana Lanstar felt nervous was a big understatement. Just yesterday, her long-withheld grievances, insecurities, and resentment had boiled over, resulting in what was already being called the “White Devil Incident”. Last night, the reasons behind Nanoha-san’s training had been explained, she and Teana had talked, with the younger girl ending up crying and apologizing in Nanoha’s arms. This morning, however, upon waking up, Teana had found a message sent to her by Nanoha, Fate, and Dr. Shamal, informing her that it had been decided a punishment was needed for her reckless actions, endangering others and especially herself, and telling her to show up at Nanoha & Fate’s quarters at 0930. Now, she stood in front of their door, her heart-rate already beginning to increase a little, and timidly knocked on the door. After a few seconds, it slid open, and a little holographic pink arrow formed in midair, pointing her inside. She followed a few more arrows, until she found herself entering the guest bedroom. Inside were Nanoha, Fate, and Shamal. “Good morning, Teana” Nanoha said. “I’m glad you’ve come. There are some things that need to be discussed.” “You have a dangerous habit, Teana” Shamal spoke up. “Pushing yourself far too hard to be healthy. Even though you’ve now been told why that’s bad, you still did it for quite a while before we found out. You put yourself at risk, and got Subaru pulled in. Plus, you caused quite some trouble for your instructors with the ‘stunts’ you pulled yesterday and at Hotel Augusta.” “That’s why,” Fate joined in, “it has been decided that… ‘corrective actions’ are in order. Not a permanent mark on your service record or anything like that, but something a little more direct and ‘personal’.” “Even though you’re in training to be a soldier,” Nanoha said, “and you put a large amount of responsibility on your shoulders… you’re still a young girl, and the possible punishments that have been decided are ones fitting for a young girl.” “We’re going to give you a choice between two punishments” Fate explained. “Both will involve staying here under my & Nanoha’s care until they are finished. Understand?” Gulping nervously, suddenly feeling very young and small, Teana nodded. “The first option,” Nanoha said, “is a set of spankings throughout the day.” Teana let out a frightened little squeak, eyes wide. She’d never been spanked before in her entire life… “It’s the classic way to punish naughty little girls, after all. You’ll stay here all day, and you’ll be bottomless, for the added factor of embarrassment from having your privates and your butt exposed, as well as for easy ‘access’.” “Of course, it won’t all be pain and humiliation” Fate chimed in. “We understand that a lot of the reason behind why you’re the way you are – short-tempered and impatient, desperate to prove yourself to the point of endangering yourself, and overall disobedient, standoffish, and surly – is because of your family situation. We know how your parents were both murdered when you were four, and how after your big brother, who meant everything to you, was KIA, you were not only left all alone but also had to put up with cruel, unforgivable comments from his ‘colleagues’ that shattered your faith in your family abilities…” “You ended up putting way too much responsibility and weight on your own shoulders,” Shamal said, “forcing yourself to grow up way too fast.” “So,” Nanoha picked up, “when you’re not being spanked, we’ll be giving you some of the motherly, big-sibling-type affection you are sorely lacking in. You won’t have to worry about responsibilities or pushing yourself while you’re under our care. Just a young girl, being cared for and taken care of… and punished for being naughty and putting herself in danger.” “Of course,” Fate spoke, “building on the idea of you being cared for, having your lost childhood ‘made up for’, the second punishment option will not involve any spankings. Though, it will almost-certainly be rather humiliating for you.” “Basically,” Shamal said, “Option #2 is for you to be kept here under Nanoha-chan & Fate-chan’s care for a few days, being treated like a baby – not allowed to do anything for yourself, dressed in cute frilly clothes, and of course being put in nice, thick diapers with cute designs, which you will be using thanks to some special spells added to the equation.” “They may be some picture-taking or even video-recording involved in that one,” Nanoha said with a little smile, “and, well… we won’t actively tell the other Forwards to come by and see you, but if they happen to decide to come visit on their own…” “So” Fate said. “You get to choose which punishment you receive, Tia: spanking or diapers? If you’re too embarrassed to say those words, you can just tell us ‘Option One’ or ‘Option Two’. But there is no third option: you must pick one or the other.” “Now then, Tia,” Nanoha said, “which do you choose?” Teana’s face was a little red, fear and the imagined helpless humiliation leaving her trembling slightly. Both punishment options sounded really bad, but she was being forced to choose one. She whimpered softly, eyes squeezed shut, and then her voice came out in a high, soft, pitiful squeak: “O… O-Option…” ----------------------- Next Time: We start with 'Path A', follow it through to the end, and then 'restart' with Path B.
  20. Hello world, I was introduced to the community by my boyfriend of two years. He recently came out to me about a year ago. I can imagine this being hard for him but I'm a rather accepting and understanding person. Only wish I had known sooner so we could play. He expressed to me that he is a DL not an AB, which either way is dandy. I'm cool with his interests and allow him to play as he sees fit and will more often than not join him. My questions are necessarily about why how etc etc but more details. When I ask him or read online about how to go about sex and making the experience more enjoyable for the both of us I get generic answers. I want specific details on what to do and how to do it. We have regular sex and are switches. I'd be interested in letting him "be my daddy" or I "be his mommy", or at least trying it. I just need specific details on how to do things or again what to do. Neither of us would neccessairly be interested in full baby play such as, pacifiers, clothing, or baby talk. I need help so I can fully satisfy my boyfriend and gain some satisfaction for myself.
  21. Preface: I'm not a writer. and besides research papers in college this will probably be the longest piece of text that I've ever written. I'm also pretty bad with grammar and such I was a math person growing up. But this story is kinda like my ultimate fantasy. With a few twist that I find interesting though I'd never do. Another reason I'm not a writer is it takes long term focus and I don't have that. I got to about page 10 and my writing has greatly slowed down but I figured maybe posting on here will help keep me motivated. That being said I greatly would appreciate your input, comments, and constructive criticism. I also wouldn't mind a co-writer/ editor to help me write(message if interested). Currently, i'm about 8k words in My goal is to post roughly every 5 days. Of course you're welcome to not like it but I'm going to keep posting till I lose interest or it's done. First two chapters today after that it'll be slower. Anyway this is: The Village Jared woke up earlier than other days, he was responsible for breakfast and Kya, his wife, was responsible for getting the kids up. The school year was coming to a close and Jared had huge plans for this summer. Actually, they weren't their kids they were her sisters, but because Kya lived in a better school district they spent the week days living with her and her husband. The kids knew their mom was picking them up from school today and like every summer that would leave Kya and Jared with an empty house for 10 weeks. Kya worked as a software developer and though she has only been working four years she made almost six figures. Jared on the other hand was an Accountant who had taken hefty pay cut to work at a non-profit but at this time she made quite a bit more than him. But this today was special, because it was what Kya last day of work. Since Kya graduated college she decided every 3-5 years she would switch jobs between those jobs she would take the whole summer off. And today marked exactly 4 years and 2 days at this job and this would be her last day at this job. Jared went downstairs and got the coffee going and cooked up some omelets the smell of the bacon permeating the house. About 10 mins after Jared, Kya woke to her two favorite smells: coffee and bacon. She stretched and sat on the edge of the bed. She was excited after she dropped of the kids off she would head into work and turn in all her stuff and enjoy a nice “summer vacation.” She already had her next job lined up, and had deferred her start date till the kids went back to school. Jared didn’t have the same arrangement but unbeknownt to his wife he also planned for a pretty lengthy vacation. Kya gathered the kids and about 20mins later they all came down stairs to three omelets and a green smoothie to snack on throughout the day. They talked over breakfast for the next 20 mins and Kya gathered them up again and coaxed them into the car. Kya came back into the kitchen to Jared donning his “Great chef” apron, cleaning up the kitchen. Kya went over and kissed him on the cheek, “I’ll probably get home before you. So have a good day at work.” “Of course, don’t make a mess just cause it’s your last day,” he joked. “Of course not. My reign of terror is over for this company,” she joked she turned on her heels and walked out to the car and drove the kids to their school. Kya then headed to work, her coworkers had thrown her a party the day before. She had a reputation at work as “firm but fair”. That’s personality trait along with her coding skills are what had taken her from entry-level developer to Team Lead in only four years. Kya just wanted to make sure the work was done on-time and of high quality. Her team knew she held them to a high standard and because of their high quality output they were regarded as one of the best teams in the division. She went around to her team and had quick chats with them many of them telling her whenever there was an available position to let them know so they could make the move also. She said of course to all of them but really only meant it for a couple of them. Jared back at home was setting up everything , he didn’t know how long Kya would stay at work but he certainly knew she wouldn’t stay till 5 so as soon as he finished cleaning up he pulled out the chest that was hidden in the back of his closet. It took about an hour but after that he went into the living room and turned on the TV and waited for his wife to come home. Kya turned in all her stuff around 11:30 and left the building for the last time around noon. She considered going for a celebratory lunch but instead decided she would drink her smoothie from breakfast and go out when Jared got home from work. As she pulled onto her street she realized Jared’s car was still in the driveway, as she pulled next to him in their two car garage she looked around and wondered if he had ever left. Jared heard her pull into the driveway and moved from his spot on the couch. As Kya walked in the house she called out his name and there was no answer. This made her nervous and she called him out again as she turned the corner he was standing right in front her his 6’4 frame towering over her 5’3 body he startled her so much she dropped her water bottle that had about a third of the smoothie left on the ground. He looked down at her and smirked, “Well you’re home early, little one.” Part 2 Little one, little one. Jared hadn’t said that to her in a very, very long time she thought it had been probably been nearly two years since the kids had started staying with them and he changed jobs and started working more hours. He chuckled he could see the surprise and anxiousness in her face he stroked her chin, "Now sweetheart what did I tell you about yelling in the house?" He bent down and picked up her smoothie but didn't give it back to her. She shuffled back and looked down mumbled “sorry.” Kya’s team at would probably be surprised to see her so timid, but Jared knew. And he was going to spend this summer letting this side of her run as free as it wished. Jared led her to the kitchen as he removed the top of the water bottle and put on a more age appropriate one. It looked exactly like a baby bottle teat the primary modification being a larger teat and hole to fit her mouth and thicker liquids. He also added some more filling the bottle back up to the top “Drink up,” he said passing her back the bottle “Now lets head upstairs and get you changed since you wanted to play dress up like a big girl this morning.” He took her by the hand and led her up to the bedroom where there was what could be mistaken for a changing table. He led her to the center of the open space between the bathroom and closet and started to undress her. He looked at her standing in just her bra, this was the hardest part for him looking but not touching. It was a fine line for her in this space. If she actually was in her little space she didn’t want to engage in adult activities especially sex. If she was just playing around in a diaper well then it was okay. One of the many rules they set when they first started playing in college, many of which have changed but this one hadn’t and probably would never change. He picked her up and placed her on the “changing table”. Conveniently she had shaven last night, “Clean as a baby’s bottom good girl.” He tickled her tummy and she started to squirm and giggle, “I’m always clean,” she said. He giggled and pulled out an adult diaper from the chest that for so long had been hidden deep in the back of their walk in closet. It was thick and fluffy and baby blue. He preferred her in pink but in her opinion that was an ugly color. He rubbed some baby oil onto her bottom then he instructed her to lift her bottom up to slide the diaper under her bottom he also added a nice stuffer. As he placed the stuffer in she looked up, “Why do I need that?” She asked “Mainly because I said so,” he said as he applied powder to her diaper. “Why do you say so?” she wondered putting on her best puppy dog eyes. He ignored her face, “Are you questioning me young lady?” he said as he secured the tapes on the diaper looking at her when he finished. “No.” as she looked away. He lifted her off the table And plopped her on her feet, “But if you must know we’re going on a trip,” He smiles and goes to pick her out an outfit. “A trip! Where? Tell me, tell me!” she says bouncing on her heels. “You’ll see when we get there,” He pulls out a colorful shirt and some loose fitting jeans and some frilly socks, and comes back over to her. “Now come on get dressed.” “Come on daddy tell me pleassseeeee,” She says as she raises her arms up for him to put the shirt on. “No, now lift your leg so I can put your pants on,” He said as he was crouched down holding out the pant for her to stick her leg in. “No, tell me,” She crossed her arms over the embroidered teddy bear. She wanted to know because he should remember she didn’t go out in public like this. He stood up and tilted her face up to look him in his eye. “Are you telling me no?” he asked. She turns her head and shakes her head no. He guides her face back to look him in the eye. “Do you trust me?” She nodded yes. “Then trust I wouldn’t take you anywhere you’d be judged. Now let me put these pants on. Unless, you want to start your day with a nice beating of course.” She shook her head no and lifted her leg. He crouched back down and pulled her pants up then put her socks on. He passed her back her bottle and told her to stay in here and finish it while he finished taking things to the car. He left and she sat down Indian style and drank the rest of the bottle. About 20mins later he comes back to her and the empty bottle and her sitting on the bed. “Ready to go?” She nodded and he picked her up she wraps her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. Not only was he taller than her he was athletic and lifted more than twice her 130 pound body, for cardio three times a week. He carried her to the garage and unlocked his SUV and opened the backseat to reveal an oversized car seat. She looked at it realizing that it was definitely new. She wondered if this is what he made with the 3-D printer him and his friends went in on. He smiled buckling her in and kissed her forehead. “Ready for an adventure kiddo?” He asked. She smiled and nodded so he went around to the driver seat, started the car, and their trip began.
  22. From the album PrincessPansyPad!

    Wearing a Tranquility Slimline before heading out for Animazement PreCon!
  23. Jack woke up slowly. He glanced at the alarm clock beside his bed. 6:55. Five minutes until it went off.Smiling to himself, he reached over and turned the alarm off. He then looked down at the girl who was lying beside him. Brown haired, fairly tall, muscular, angular face with high cheekbones, and above all beautiful, Steph was the girl of his dreams. She was perfect. Well, except perhaps for one thing, some would say. As far as he was concerned, that was only debatably a flaw. Jack, himself a well built, tall and brown haired man, would probably debate the other side.As the clock neared seven, he bent over and put a hand on Steph’s shoulder. “Good morning baby girl,” he said, “its time to wake up.”She stirred slowly, smiling.“Come on little one, the sun is up! Don’t let the day go away.”“I don’t want to,” she said gruffly, but still smiling.“Awww well that’s too bad little one. You have to go to work.”“Says you, you’re just going to go back to bed.”“And whose fault was it for booking shifts on the weekend so you could go out on a weekday?”“Five more minutes?”“No. Come on, don’t be a brat.”With that, he picked her up and sat her in his lap and kissed her. She snuggled in close. She wiggled her bum over his legs, making a quiet crinkling sound. He turned on the bed side lamp, flooding the room with light. The large wooden bed they slept on was surrounded by a desk, night table, and deep red walls.“You awake now?”“Mmhmm” she nodded.“Good. Then it’s time for a diapie check.”She sat up straight and began to push away. “Hey no! Don’t be mean! Jack, no! I can do it!”“Come on baby girl, if you could do it yourself you wouldn’t need them. Don’t try to hide your widdle accidents.”She struggled half heartedly, pushing for a moment before letting him lay her down again on her back, not really trying to stop him. She folded her arms and made an attempt at a glare that thinly disguised a smile. “I can do it” she mumbled.“Sure you can,” he smiled. Slowly, he pulled down her cotton pyjamas bottoms to reveal a white diaper.Jack looked at it a moment. “Hmmmm… I think we can both guess what the answer is going to be,” he said. Steph blushed, still smiling, and looked away. “But I guess I can give you the benefit of the doubt. Even if it’s just to make you feel better.”She stuck her tongue out at him, and he replied with the same.Jack reached forward with his hand and felt the bottom of her diaper. “Yep, that is one wet diaper little one. Poor little diaper girl, never learned to use the potty I guess.”“Hey!” she whined, “it’s only at night!”“Sure it is Little Ms. Potty Pants. And never mind your excuses. It’s still more then you’re supposed to at your age.”“Don’t be mean! I can’t help it! It’s not fair to make fun.”“Oh yeah? Then why do you smile every time I do?”She struggle a moment, trying to frown, but her lips kept moving up. “Shuddup,” she said. Then, her smile turned a bit darker. “Maybe there is something I know that you don’t know.”“Uh huh. Apparently “how not to be a pants soaking diaper girl” isn’t one of them. That’s something I know but you don’t. Come on, let’s get you changed.” He stood her on her feet, patted her bum, and led her by the hand toward the bathroom. The bathroom was attached to the bedroom. It was black tiled and grey walled, and had the full sink, toilet, shower and bath, with a few long mirrors along the wall.“Heh! I can do it myself!” she said, pulling.“Sure you can. You can also wake up to the alarm every morning rather than my kisses, but we both know you prefer it this way. If you didn’t want me to change you, you’d have stopped me some time in the last 8 months we’ve been doing this.”“Fine,” she said, and lay down.Carefully, he undid the tapes on her diapers. “Tsk tsk little princess, supposed to be all grown up, and still getting your soggy diapers changed. When are you going to grow up and learn to use the potty?” He wrinkled his nose.She made a face that was between a glare and a pout, but the smile was coming through.He continued. He was taking as much time with it as he could. He opened the front of her diaper and wrinkled his nose with an exaggerated disgust. “Jeeze. I bet the entire house would smell better if you did, stinky girl. Look how soaked this is! If it wasn’t for your little baby pampers, we’d of had to through the bed out.”“You know, it’s not nice to make fun of medical conditions. You better be careful!”“Oh, and why is that, smelly girl? What’s gonna happen, one day your wet your diaper-wipers too much for me to handle?” He wrapped up the used diaper and through it out.“I’m just saying, bad things sometimes happen to people who do stuff like that. People don’t like it, and they want to get back at them.”“Sure, sure baby girl. You can’t even get by without me changing your huggy-wuggies. I’m not afraid.” He began cleaning her with baby wipes.“Well, Karma happens, it’s all I’m saying. And stop calling them that! You sound ridiculous.”“What? You don’t like me teasing you with the names of your cute little pamper-wampers? I don’t think the girl who just got her huggy-wuggies should be calling anyone ridiculous.”“They are Dry-24/7s and you know it. Adult diapers, not baby diapers.”“Uh huh… Pretty sure that’s an oxymoron. They are definitely your widdle baby diapoos.” he stopped. He reached inside the pack and took another out, then studied it carefully. “You know… since you’re such a potty pants baby, I’m not sure if I can let you go to work in normal undies. I think you should be in your diapers. Just in case.”“Oh really?” she asked dryly.“Yep. I think little babies who wet themselves should be in diapers 24/7, just like the name says. In fact, I think I should put your bum right back into diapers right now and send you off like that, crinkling away. Then, if anyone noticed, they will know that you’re a little baby potty pants. Seems fair to me.”“Alright.”“What?”“Do it. Diaper me up. I agree. Like you said, little babies who wet themselves should be in diapers 24/7. Totally fair. ”He looked at her questioningly. “You’re serious?”“Yep. Like you said, I clearly need them.”Jack wasn’t sure what to do. He had been teasing her, as he often did. Normally they moved on, kissed, than repeated the joke the next day. He never expected her to actually tell him to do it, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. What was she up to?“Well? Are you going to diaper me or not?”“Sure, if you want it. I’ll diaper your bum little girl.” He grabbed the powder.“Buut…”“Here we go,” he rolled his eyes. He knew there would be something else.“BUT,” she emphasized, ignoring his remark. “If I wear this to work, then I get to decide what you wear today.”“So you’ll just put me in diapers? No deal.”She giggled. “No, no. I have a different idea for you. You’ll be wearing my clothes. My NORMAL clothes. Don’t worry, I’m not going to put you in diapers this morning.”He leaned back and thought a moment. “So you’ll wear a diaper to work, and all I have to do is cross dress at home?”“Yep.”“Where no one can see me?”“Yep.”"Why would that be worth it to you?"She shrugged her shoulders. "Don't know. I guess you'll have to wait and find out."He looked at her, then at the thick white garment in his hand. Was this some kind of trick? She seemed pretty eager... but this was the sort of game they often played... What was she planning? He thought a moment more. “Alright, deal” he said. They shook hands.(Part 1 of 4, comments and critiques are appreciated)
  24. So this is a different start to a story that I am still trying to tell. As far as feedback goes I'd love to hear if you like the change in structure and tone between the two characters voices. It's a bit jolting, and a bit disjointed, but I'm trying something a little more ambitious this time. if you don't feel like giving more exacting criticism or feedback, it's always nice to hear that you are enjoying reading it.Guilelessly, TDAD22 Moments "How did it get so late so soon?" - Dr. Seuss Jack How long is a moment? It's a good question, maybe even right question. I, for I only speak from my own experience, have known endless moment and painfully brief moments. I have felt hugs with crying loved ones stretch into an odd place, a place of mutual powerlessness, of my ability to soothe and theirs to recover. I have seen and felt that split second after screaming, after yelling the most hateful, cuttings you can imagine, things that my demons whisper to me in quiet moments. Then you sober from your rage and you see who you've yelled at, the person who you were trying to destroy, and in that moment you learn, you feel, you understand that you are not a person. You are a monster wearing a human suit, and you have to tread carefully or the stitching will rip. Both of these moments are similar to the that feeling of falling while with a foot on the ground that happens when you misjudge that distance of the last stair on a staircase. Your foot drifting in the air, the surprise till your foot finally hits the floor, sending a tremendous shock through your bones and rattling the teeth in your mouth. From the split second that they start you know how these moments end but it's still a shock every time. The one moment I can't forget however, is the first time I pulled her diaper on. Not the whole process, but the split second of pulling the front tight and the tapes closed. I can hear, even now, the rustle of the plastic, the smell of the baby powder, the heavy drumming of my heart in my chest, the scritch of the tapes, the blush that rises in her cheeks even with her eyes closed. That smile on her face, anxious and exited, somehow small and big at the same time, stuck precisely between joyous and timid, far too overwhelmed to decide. I have no earthly idea how long it lasted, that smile. You could tell me that it never ended and I would believe you. You could tell me that it never happened and I would believe you. But I get ahead of myself, lost in my own thoughts, let's begin at the beginning and end at the ending. —————————————————————————————— Jack Sophia always wore short sleeve shirts. Always. It never matter how cold it got, and truthfully it was always at least a little cold most of the year in Chicago, but some rituals have more importance then comfort. She would wear jackets of course, she wasn't a masochist, but as soon as humanly possible that jacket would be off and her almost spindly arms would be on display. And really they weren't spindly, they just only had right angles, no curves at all. They fit her figure, mainly because all of her angles seemed to be right angles, if other curvy figures like Marilyn Monroe seemed to be molded out of clay, spun into existence on some cosmic potters wheel, then Sophia had been hewn from marble. An angular right angled nose that was affixed above an angular right angle chin. It made her look vaguely lupine, and hungry, like she was always in need of a good meal or was always about to bolt from the room and find the deepest forest in a hundred miles. It gave her a look like a casual caress could cut deep. I always thought it looked fucking good on her. But we all have different tastes don’t we. Well, I know this reads more like poetry than it does writing, but I will say I try not to get carried away, try to be honest, try to tell it like how it really happened. Like my mother always told the story of the first time she met my father, and she says that after looking at him once she told a nearby friend that, “she was going to marry that man.” So I’ll admit that it runs in my blood, getting carried away, but about meeting her that first time in a coffee shop I’ll say this. I wanted to fuck her from the first moment I saw her. Not make love, but FUCK, loudly and angrily and forever. I wanted her to quiver at the thought of my cock or my fingers or my tongue. I wanted to shrink our existence to a bubble, just big enough for my bed, that would still seem an infinite space, that a mere inch would be a vast, cold, and intolerable distance between us. But the first time she spoke, I knew I would dream about her that night, and the night after that, and the night after that, and so on for eternity. But it wasn't love at first glance. It was more than something that tame, it was fascination and lust. So you could say that I liked her. SOPHIE Sophie walks in to the coffee shop. “It is a nice place,” she thinks, “but I guess thats just a way of saying that there is nothing else interesting about it.” She’s right, its a local place, not a chain, but frankly, boring. Which is good, she needs a boring place today. Something not particularly interesting or busy. Sophie has been here roughly 6 times or so, and only because the line at the Starbucks a few blocks down had an intimidatingly long line. Each and every time the coffee place has been quiet, but not quiet enough that you could overhear the other customers. “So this is definitely the perfect place to meet Jack for the first time.” Sophie wasn't particularly worried about Jack being some kind of weirdo, “Well, actually, I know exactly what kind of weirdo he is, the kind of weirdo that likes to wipe piss off the bottom of women pretending to be babies. Which works well with my kind of weirdness, because I really, really want to the that baby.” She had started chatting with him online, or rather he had messaged her on Fetlife, and his profile picture wasn't a penis so she had decided to message him him back. She liked him, and he seemed to like her. That was enough for now, to be honest. It wasn't a love at first profile view, or love first day spent stalking him online thing, but he met her criteria. He was employed, lived by himself, and he lived relatively close by. That’s it. He seemed smart, he seemed kinda of funny, and he said he was tall. His profile picture was decent enough, and he didn't seem like a total freak. That was really what she needed right now. “I don’t want to be using him but the truth is I’m 24 and the only time I’ve worn a diaper is in a locked room by myself. That’s gotta change.” Sophie needs know exactly how important ‘this’ is, “No, not just ‘this’, wearing a diaper and pissing myself is what ‘this’ is.” She needs to know how much she needs the fetish. She hates it at times, really hates it. Not in the way a child hates broccoli or anything so simple. She hates it the way an alcoholic hates the liquor that is killing them. Most of the time she’s okay, but that last time she was with Scott, when they were exhausted in bed together after they had made love or fucked, she can’t remember which now, there was a moment, a quiet moment of exhaustion and warmth, when they were in each other arms and she thought that maybe just maybe they were in love and suddenly boom. ABDL porn played in her head, waves and waves of everything she’s ever seen, the stories she’s loved and the pictures that have disgusted her, they all start playing on a loop inside her head. And she's getting turned on and she getting disgusted and she getting horny and angry, and she wants to fuck Scott and again and she wants to tell him everything and she wants to call him daddy and she wants to scream, endlessly, mindlessly, scream her throat raw till it bleeds and bleeds and bleeds and she drowns in her own blood. Sophie broke up with Scott the next day. Then someone pulls out a chair across the room, at another table and Sophie jolts back into the present. For a moment at least. She looks down at her hands, realizes that she is holding her cup of coffee so tightly her knuckles are turning white, and relaxes. She takes another sip of her coffee and waits. She got to the coffee shop about 30 odd minutes before they were supposed to meet. After a long day of boring work, she figures that arriving early will let her settle in and relax before meeting with Jack. She wants to give at least a decent first impression, she knows she will be nervous as hell, and that Jack will be too. Or he will if he was telling the truth about this being the first time he has met up with another AB/DL in person. “I mean, how much can I really trust what he said about himself online?”, She thinks. Jack seemed like an okay guy, but maybe he was a good guy who liked to chop up women and eat them. Which Sophie might have even been okay with if he looked anything like Mads Mikkelson. But Sophie had played it safe, she had gotten a friend to call her later that night to check up on her. She had spent two hours last night figuring out who it would be and was surprised to find out it was actually kind of fun. “It was interesting, because who do you call for that? Your best friend? That seems unfair kinda, like to put them through that emotional wringer, when they really, really care about you. If you call your parents then they are gonna ask to many awkward questions, that I don’t care to answer.” Sophie calmed herself by imagining how that phone call would go. “No mom, I’m not worried specifically about this guy murdering me, I’m just trying to be safe. No everyone my age dates online, this is just what we do now. I’m getting tired of answering this question mom, I’m not going on a date with the Simmons kid. Because he smells like embalming fluid. No I’m fully aware of how much money a mortician makes. It’s a fine profession! I’ve got nothing against morticians, I just don’t want the same hands that touch dead bodies to touch me. Are you gonna check in or not? Good.” But Sophie didn't want to worry her mother so that name was crossed off the list. “Plus she would panic and call early and I’d have to explain to the cops that I’m just a sister trying to get a tall dark man to baby me. You know a little loving after making me feel little by walking over ever so slowly, leaning over me and pulling back my diaper and murmuring, “Looks like daddies little girl is a poopy. Are you daddies little poopy princess?” I’d begin furiously nursing on my pacifier and shake my head no, while staring into his eyes and then, suddenly, he’d lift me into his arms, which would mush my own stinky, filthy mess into my bottom and then I shudder, overwhelmed with pleasure and disgust, and he’d whisper, “It’s okay princess daddies gonna make it all go away” and then…. Fuck, I can’t do this right now in the middle of a fucking coffee shop. Focus Sophie, focus. Let him be to charm you. Don’t do his work for him before hand. Christ. That’s really fucking hot though…” So Sophie decided to call Rachel. She didn't ask any weird questions, just said yes. Sophie has done the same for her. Rachel’s a good sort, very reliable. “Fuck I wonder if she likes this diaper stuff too. The odds are impossible but still… Nah, she probably into something more mainstream like S&M, light spanking that shit. God I wish my life was that easy.” Yet again the sound of a chair scraping along the floor jolts Sophie into the present, and she startles, almost falling out of her seat. Then she slaps a hand down on the table to steady herself, and realizes that that the sound of her hand against the table is the loudest sound in the coffee shop since she got here. She wants to check if other people are looking at her but settles on just checking her watch. 15 minutes to go. She’s got time to calm down, to pull it together. She's got time. So does she really need to be worried about Jack being a killer? Sophie knows he’s not an asshole, assholes give themselves away quickly, they just can’t seem to cover up that smell of rectum that seeps off them, even online. But did she go over the top getting someone to call in and check on her? “I know that he’s not a killer, but thats the point behind a psycho. If they were that easy to find out, from just chatting online, then they would be locked up right? So doesn't that mean that only the really sloppy killers get caught? Shit I gotta write this down.” Sophie pulls out a note book and jots something down. There is some portion of the population that is psycho killers. The obvious ones get caught early Therefore, the only psycho killer you are likely to meet are the ones really good at seeming cool. “Whacha you writing there?” a voice rumbles from across the table. Someone has sat down across from her. Someone tall, with a beard closely cropped beard, and an ever so slightly crooked nose. “Fuck! Is that… Fuck. It’s Him. It’s Jack.” Sophie can tell because Jack’s taken off his jacket and she can see the bottom of a sunflower tattoo on his upper arm. “Nothing.. just…nothing.” She murmurs, half to herself. “Fuck girl! Come up with something better than that! Do you want this to start with a conversation about him possibly being a murderer?” Jack relaxes into the seat across from her, “Are you sure? It seemed important. You were focusing so much that your tongue was sticking out. Can I see it?” “FUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKK!!” Sophie screams mentally, trying to come up with an excuse, anything to stop her from doing what she does instead. Which is slide it across the table to him, slowly, and every inch feels like a mile feels like a marathon feels like a light year. Then he picks it up and reads it. A cold clarity comes over her, like falling through the ice on a lake, it seeps up from her feet and in a heartbeat its invisible waterline is playing at the back of Sophie’s scalp. A new record for her, and probably most of her generation, dumped before even saying a complete sentence. After studying the grain of the wood of the table, of doing anything but making eye contact, Sophie can’t resist and looks up. Jack seems lost in thought, and he is chewing slightly at a fingernail. He looks good, or at least, his face sits well together, deep brown eyes, almost hazel and bags underneath his eyes that say he has never been a deep sleeper. “This is good, but doesn't really apply to our situation does it? It’s a fine start but… let me add some something.” He says it so flatly that Sophie can’t tell whether or not he is joking. He extends his hand for a pen, which she wordlessly passes over to him, then he proceeds to write. He doesn't stick out his tongue, which Sophie has just learned is something she does, but he does seem to shut his eyes every few seconds, and look up and to the right, and he looks a little like Sophie’s old basset hound trying to catch a scent. After a minute or so he slides the paper back across to her. Jacks addendum If I were a psycho killer, I would be much likely to be successful if I was intelligent and devilishly good looking. Lucky for you I am neither. This is a first date, of sorts, and you probably have a friend who is going to call you later just to be safe. That plus the online paper trail, makes tonight a particularly bad night to murder you and eat your liver with “kidney beans and a nice chianti.” You are far too cute to eat. And I don’t play with my food. Therefore, because logic, you are safe with me. For at least tonight. Probably. Maybe. Even odds at least. Then he drew a smiley face. “So what’s good? Never been in here. They got coffee right? I don’t want to get the caffeine jitters but I hope we got exciting evening ahead of us. And I don’t have any coffee back at my place, just wine. It is a nice chianti though…” Sophie doesn't know whether to laugh or to cry. “At least I know for sure he's got a sense of humor.” JACK I am an oily car salesman of nonsense. For instance, whats your favorite dinosaur? the penguin is the correct answer, as well as the answer to what is your favorite animal, bird or vaguely sentient thing. But more than that, odd thoughts run rampant, and often unchecked through the wrinkles of my brain, what if, maybe just maybe, that time of the day on a Sunday when you are having a perfectly fine day, a day truly indistinguishable from the other 15 Sundays before that, but you find that 3 beers wont cut it, or that you've taken entirely too many baths that day, that feeling that creeps up, slow and sudden, that feeling that you want to scream, what if, maybe just maybe, you weren't alone in that feeling? What if ever person on the planet feels that feeling simultaneously, that person you want to fuck, that person you want to be, that person who wants to be you, that person you will never understand, what if, maybe just maybe, for that 3 tenths of the flap of a humming birds wings, every person just screamed, just screamed, not of anger, or rage or sadness or happiness. But a scream of communion. What possible evil could you see coming from that? I only see good things, like a two for one day at your local pizzeria or discount prices on fishnets. So next time that happens, do the world a favor, just scream. Who knows what could happen?
  25. Alright, Essentialy, I am looking for a Mommy/Daddy to play as a Master/Mistress, forcing the 18 year old boy Seth to become the Sissy Sophia. I am fine with anything, ranging from light to heavy bondage, and any punishment that Sophia would get. I'm hoping that I can find a parent who is kind, and rewards sissy-like behavior, but is stern when Sophia acts like an adult man. Sophia should have to use her diapers often, though because of her stubbornness strong laxatives and diuretics will more than likely be needed. Just say if you want to, and drop your bio. Thanks!