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Chapter 32: All Better Now [Note: I'm back to writing, despite a few challenges] Tammy and I were starting to wake up. She seemed scared and confused as she was waking up, still too sleepy to cry much. Aunt Hannah gave her a nice teddybear to hug. I’m not sure where it came from. Katey was siting up in another bed, as I guess they gave her fluids and other meds, through a needle in her arm while I was getting my treatments. She did seem like she was feeling better, but still not her normal self. What was strange waking up after my babygirl treatment was that I didn’t feel uncomfortable, and it didn’t hurt. I couldn’t feel below my tummy button, but I kind of knew they would do that. I actually hoped I’d get a few days of being really fussy, and helpless, and Aunt Cassie would be happy with my babyishness. I started to cry, and the nurse let Aunt Cassie hold me, and I cried a lot, and just didn’t want to stop. After about 10 minutes, one of the nurses put some sleepy meds, with the fluids going into my arm through the needle. Not long after that, Aunt Cassie fed me a bottle. The nurse gave Tammy more sleepy meds, and Aunt Hannah picked her up and comforted her like a baby. It was a bit longer before she was ready to accept her bottle. I noticed Jo was sitting near Katey’s bed, watching something on her tablet and trying not to make a fuss. She seemed a little scared, maybe she wasn’t ready to be a babygirl. A Few More Questions: While I was laying in the bed, still sleepy, and feeling strangely okay about all this, this lady seemed curious. “Ma’am, Is your daughter incontinent since birth, or having ongoing issues with her potty training?” The woman asked Aunt Cassie. “She’s my niece, and she’s had bladder issues on and off since birth, so we’re keeping her in diapers for a while. And yours?” Aunt Cassie replied. “I’m Erika, My daughter Evie, is 6, and has accidents at school, and at home. The doctor is going to do a biopsy on her bladder, and I’m hoping to keep her in diapers for a while. I’m not sure if I should have her regress and baby her, or just stick to diapers. Another big question is if she should use the potty for pooping.” The woman explained. “I’m Cassie. The thing with babying older kids, is you have to be ready to put the time in, comfort them, and sometimes cry a lot. Sally will probably spend the next few days feeling fussy. We’ll see how clingy she is when her mommy comes back next week. Sally, and her cousin Tammy will be sedated and comfortable as they recover from the procedure on their bladders. They’ll probably remain incontinent for at least a few months” Aunt Cassie explained. “Do you think they like the baby treatment? I’m not sure Evie quite understands the difference between being a big girl 6yo and being a toddler. It’s just that pull-ups and sometimes diapers at home. We haven’t seemed to encourage her enough to work on her potty skills. She finds going to the doctor scary, before they examine her and give her shots. It’s confusing for both of us” Erika continued in her thoughts of how to handle Evie. “I think some girls, even as old as Sally, actually like the baby treatment, but are too embarrassed to ask for it. The other issue is school, but with the current restrictions, being physically around the other girls might not be concern. Sally’s older sister also had bladder issues, and we gave her baby treatment when Sally was little, so she wouldn’t think her younger sister is getting all the attention. Sometimes the girls will be scared, sometimes they’ll cry, but baby treatment isn’t always comfortable, unfortunately. Sally had spinal anesthesia so she’ll be quite babyish for a while. When Katey had surgery on her small bowel, we had days of her not feeling much below the anesthesia block, and it was two weeks before she could walk around the house. She enjoyed her mom babying her a lot, but would never admit that.” Aunt Cassie explained. I knew Katey got baby treatment when I was little, but still not sure how far they went. “Sounds like young girls find comfort in being incontinent, especially before puberty, or as they are starting to develop. Hopefully Evie wants to stay in diapers for a long time, after today’s treatment.” Erika said, expressing her decision. “Yes, I work as a pediatric nurse, and honestly, if a kid isn’t basically dry by 5, then they need to be kept in diapers, and let them really want to be out of diapers, and ready to be sure about that choice” Aunt Cassie explained. I was laying there, listening to the conversation. For some reason, it didn’t bother me that Aunt Cassie and my mommy wanted to extend my need for diapers, and keep me as a little girl. If I wasn’t sleepy, weak and confused, not to mention helpless and in diapers, I might feel different, and just then I had a weird feeling. If the doctor hadn’t just done all these babygirl treatments, I would have wanted Aunt Cassie to make me sleepy and weak, even scary meds, so she could diaper me and let me be a babygirl. Katey’s Treatment: Katey was laying down on the bed, and the nurse changed her diaper. I’ve heard most hospitals, when they diaper a patient, the nurse changes them. I wondered if she was embarrassed, or still comfortable being changed by nurses. Shortly after Katey’s diaper change, she got up to walk around, and came over to my bed. “Are you feeling okay, baby sis?” Katey asked, slightly concerned. “I sleepy and weak, Dr. Elaina and Dr. Beth made me not feel below my tummy, so I not hurting. I can’t be a big girl, so I a babygirl now” I slowly replied to my sister. “Good. For the next few days, you’ll be a cuddly, sleepy babygirl” Katey replied, with a slight smile. At least the fluids and meds made her feel better. “Umm… Sis? Did they make you unable to feel your tummy and legs, when you were little? Did the doctor do scary stuff down there?” I asked, with my mind racing, and feeling different than other times they make me unable to feel my tummy. I didn’t know why I felt so different that for other babygirl treatments. “Ummm… Yes, a few times. One time when I was 8, I had surgery to help with constipation. I was numbed with a spinal injection. It was really scary but when mom took me home and babied me, I kind of tricked her. For the first few days, I couldn’t walk, and mainly napped and stayed in bed. Although after 5 days of not walking, mom wanted me to try and walk, but I pretended I couldn’t and usually fell on my bottom. They knew I could feel and move my legs, I just wanted mom to keep letting me fuss” Katey answered honestly. “Did you feel good about being babied, after the surgery?” I asked. “Umm… yes. I wanted the full babying, with lots of fussing by me to keep going, even after the nerve block wore off.” Katey replied, blushing red. “Were you scared? Aunt Cassie sometimes made me really cry, like a babygirl, until I was sleepy and cuddled again?” I asked, wondering if the meds the doctor gave me, alsp made me not hide my feelings. “I was way too scared to tell mom and Aunt Cassie how I felt, because the surgery and other things the doctor did were so scary, but something felt good about no big girl responsibilities. Aunt Cassie sometimes does scary treatments so I didn’t want her to make me too uncomfortable, just enough to cry a lot” Katey replied. I was stunned, because I didn’t know much about the surgeries she had, because I was too little at the time, and she usually didn’t like to talk about it. Tammy’s reaction: Aunt Hannah was holding Tammy, comforting her. She seemed to cry heavily, then go back to sleep, then more crying. She didn’t seem to mad at her mommy, but just wanted to cry. Did she tell her mommy something, while she was waking up from her babygirl treatment? I was curious but didn’t want to ask. When Aunt Hannah and Tammy visited me before, Tammy asked a lot of questions, and didn’t always throw a fit at wearing diapers for part or all of her stay, if I was diapered at the time. One visit, a few years ago, I was in pull-ups and she was in panties during the day, but seemed surprised that I was able to use the bathroom at all, without mommy having to help me. After the nurse checked on both of us, we were given bottles to drink. Aunt Cassie fed mine, and Aunt Hannah fed Tammy. Maybe Tammy couldn’t find the right words. She didn’t want to say anything, she just wanted to be held. There were a few other mommies, and even one daddy, holding their kid while the nurse gives them extra sleepy meds, and whatever else they require. Jo’s Surprise: As Jo was waiting near Katey’s bed, another girl walked up near her. This girl seemed a older and thickly diapered. More significantly, she noticed Jo’s switch, as she had a similar one. “Hello, Cool, you have a switch like mine. I’m Demi by the way” The girl said, introducing herself. Jo and Katey looked up. “Oh, I’m Jo. I’m here with my cousins, the doctor says I have a minor UTI, but otherwise healthy. How come you’re stuck in diapers now?” Jo asked her. “It’s kind of a weird stories. I’ve always wet the bed, and have bladder spasms that sometimes cause day accidents. A few months ago, my friend, Aya, had a minor car accident, except they found a spinal tumor, which caused her to have issues with her bladder, and she is slowly getting the strength back in legs, but can’t walk. We both see Dr. Elaina sometimes.” Demi said. “Oh. Did you wear diapers before that?” Jo responded. “Yes, mainly to bed. Dr. Elaina also helped me with my bladder issues before, and I went back to pull-ups for a while. When I got another UTI, the bladder spasms returned, and my mommy suggested I go back Dr. Elaina, and go back to diapers for a while.” Demi explained, and Jo seemed interested in the details. “My Cousin, Sally, She has been in and out of diapers growing up. Dr. Elaina made her go to sleep to do stuff with her bladder. Another Cousin, Tammy, has had major issues with bedwetting, so her mom asked Dr. Elaina to make her go to sleep and do stuff with her bladder too. I don’t want to stay in diapers” Jo replied. “I understand. With my friend, Aya, dealing with her issues, and my issues, it felt right. My mom doesn’t mind babying me sometimes, even though I’m 12. Because I grew fast until 5, I had to get treatment which made it easier to stay a little girl” Demi continued. “Umm.. Did the bedwetting thing bother you?” Jo asked. “Not really. All the rules on drinks, and food changes upset me more. When I had day accidents in Kindergarten, mom took me to Dr. Elaina, then babied me a lot, and I didn’t mind. It felt good when mommy did that. I still can’t explain it properly” Demi explained. “Umm… Does it feel easier to behave, when your mommy babies you?” Jo asked, still confused. “I think so. Sometimes if mom comments that I’m being immature, and I’m upset, she’ll diaper me, and some other baby things. I’ve always found it embarrassing to ask her to diaper me, or ask for the babying. Mom seems to know when I’m feeling like a little girl, and when I’m just a bedwetter.” Demi replied. “Demi, I’m Katey, I’m her cousin, and Sally’s sister. I don’t know what it is about Dr. Elaina makes her so good, but she seems to understand what some girls require to feel good about being babied, and even if it seems too much, getting comforted and changed by mom made it all worth the uncomfortable babygirl treatments, but that is really hard to understand for girls, who aren’t used to being in diapers” Katey explained, and Demi nodded. “Yeap. At school I got a few comments, but having to wear diapers and go to the nurses office, was easier than wetting myself in class” Demi replied. “I don’t usually have day accidents, but long car rides , mom diapers me. I’ve also wet the bed a few times lately, because of a UTI” Jo commented. “I’ll probably be asleep for an hour or two, so not sure if you’ll be here, but you can message me on the Nintendo messenger.” Demi said. “You sound like you’re looking forward to it” Katey joked. “Umm… I am… sort of… I wanted this.. kinda.. but mom suggested it, so I wouldn’t embarrassed about asking for it. My friend went through a lot more in hospital, and so when I wake up crying, mom will understand” Demi commented, not quite hiding her embarrassment. Soon after, the nurse came over and took her back to her bed, and gave her some sleepy meds, then prepared her for whatever they had planned. I wish I could stay settled down like her, but I wondered if helping me settle down, was why mommy wanted babygirl treatment for me. Dr. Elaina came over to check on on Tammy and I, then whispered something to Aunt Cassie, as the other nurse walked over. “We’ll remove Sally’s catheter, diaper her and she can go home. Do you want her sleepy, so she’s comfortable in the car ride home?” Dr. Elaina asked. “Umm… sleepy is good” I answered, surprising both Aunt Cassie and Dr. Elaina. One of the nurses removed my catheter, and thickly diapered me. After checking on Tammy, the nurse removed her catheter and diapered her. Aunt Hannah wanted Tammy sleepy as well, and Tammy seemed to want more cuddles. Dr. Elaina came over and gave Tammy more meds, and she seemed like she fell asleep with Aunt Hannah holding her. Before giving me my sleepy meds, I wanted to give Dr. Elaina a hug, and she held me and comforted me on the bed. One of the nurses gave me the sleepy meds, and I was barely awake, as Aunt Cassie prepared to take me home. Back Home: I woke up, back in my babygirl bed at home, I still couldn’t feel anything below my tummy, and my tummy told me I wanted food. When I started crying, Aunt Cassie came in with a bottle and some pudding. I felt really tired from my hospital visit, and all the meds they gave me, so after Aunt Cassie finished feeding me, I dozed off again. At some point later, Aunt Hannah came back in and fed Tammy and I, then changed our diapers. I didn’t feel much when she changed me, but I felt like crying when she held me and fed me, both before and after changing me. It’s a weird feeling crying just because I felt like it, but I wanted to cry, and be comforted. I’m not sure if Aunt Hannah realized part of the reason why Dr. Elaina helps girls like me with babygirl treatments, is so that mommy, or Aunt Hannah, can comfort me when I cry uncontrollably because I feel like I want comforting. I don’t have to be sore, or scared, to want to be comforted, as being a babygirl is why I want to be comforted. Reassurance and sleepy time: Late in the evening, Katey came in my room, and changed me again, along with another bottle feeding. I’m pretty sure she had night meds in my bottle. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell Aunt Cassie your secret” she whispered. I’m not sure she actually figured out what my secret that I was not telling her or Aunt Cassie actually was, but it still felt good that she tried to understand. “Does mommy really want me to stay a babygirl for a long time?” I asked. “Yes, she thinks you’ll enjoy all the attention, and doesn’t want you growing up too fast. Aunt Cassie suggested more babygirl treatments, and mom agreed. She also didn’t want you fussing about wearing diapers as needed, and making you feel like a babygirl so you need diapers seemed right” Katey replied with little hesitation. “It feels different, that I can’t be a big girl” I said, a little sad and confused. “Don’t worry, I’ll change you and make you feel good about being a babygirl” Katey replied with a smirk, as she held me and comforted me. “Tam don’t have a big sis… me lucky” I replied softly as I was laid down in bed, and my pacifier inserted, before falling asleep.

It's a special smart liner so her mommy or the daycare staff can see how wet she is and how often she wets her diaper.

Don't worry. There will be a plot twist coming up.

Chapter 12: Mommy Is Home [Note: I've been working on this chapter on and off for a while, I hope ya'll like it. Constructive feedback welcome] Waking up in the morning after having some strange dreams and needing my messy diaper changed didn’t feel embarrassing. Whatever meds mommy gave me, and the feedings at daycare, ensured I couldn’t be anything other than a big baby. Maybe mommy came in while I was still asleep, but my pacifier was in my mouth. It didn’t take long for mommy to hear me crying and come check on me. Before mommy even checked my diaper, she picked me up and fed me a bottle. I settled down as she expected. At first I didn’t realize that mommy was helping me sit up because I was still drowsy. After coaxing me to drink my first bottle, mommy put my pacifier in, before lifting me onto the changing table and secured me in place. I was laying there as mommy removed my diaper, and starts wiping my girl parts. I squirmed and seemed uncomfortable, getting tearful, as my rash was getting worse. “Babygirl, Do you want mommy to gel on your rash?” Mommy asked, seemingly concerned. I nodded, just as mommy expected. “Lets finish getting you cleaned up. Still sleepy?” Mommy continued. I nodded before mommy rolled me over and cleaned my bottom. It might seem strange, but I think I prefer when mommy does the same routine baby things, even if it makes me cry. Checking my temp, and putting a suppository in my bottom, is usually what happens in the morning. Mommy rubbed rash gel on my bottom, and rolled me back over, and more on my little girl parts. Mommy put one of the special diaper liners in my diaper before taping it on. I didn’t quite notice, but I think mommy put antiseptic on my bottom and on my leg, but didn’t fuss more. Was mommy going to give me shots, to help with the babying? Shots scare me, but trying to be a big girl feels scary too. As mommy carried me to the dining room, I realized that mommy wanted me too weak to walk around, and hadn’t really let me try and stand up. Breakfast For Me: Mommy had prepared breakfast pudding with bananas, sausage and eggs, then cereal. Even though I kind of thought that mommy puts something in my cereal and pudding to make sure I have a full diaper, I kept eating as mommy spoon fed me in my chair. After enjoying some toast, and checking her email, mommy sat down next to me. “Maddy, What would you like to do today?” She asked. “Umm… play tablet.. get hugs… I good” I stammered hesitantly. Mommy picked me up and put me on the couch, using pillows and my blanket to help me sit up. After another bottle, mommy found my tablet and put it my hands. “Thank you mommy!” I replied, keeping my pacifier in my mouth. She smiled at my babyish response. After laying there playing games on my tablet for a while, I had dozed off and awoke when my mommy hugged me and coaxed me into drinking another bottle. Asking Mommy: I knew I had soaked my diaper, and messed as well. With all the meds mommy used to make me babyish, I had little control or even able to use the potty. “Mommy, Am I being a good babygirl?” I asked, with some tears and hesitation. I was as confused as ever. “Oh.. Maddy. I know all this feels strange, but I think you’re making good progress. It’s okay to be scared, and want to cry and be fussy. Is something upsetting you?” Mommy asked, seemingly concerned. “Umm…. I get scary.. stingy things if I’m not a good girl” Stammering and having trouble finding the words. “Maddy, the shots are to help you feel babyish, and settle into a routine that is comforting to you. Mommy will take care of you.” Mommy continued. “Umm… uh… I always sleepy and no walkies” Still as confused as ever. “Don’t worry baby.. the Dr Ellaina said once you get adjusted to the meds, you won’t be as sleepy or weak. You’ll see her and she’ll make sure you’re healthy, and the UTI has cleared up. It won’t be so scary, and you’ll still be a comfy babygirl. You’ll get plenty of cuddles from mommy” She explained in a comforting tone. “Uh.. I scared.. being babygirl is comfy.. “ I sobbed, as mommy put me on the changing table. After mommy cleaned my diaper area, I was squirming and scared. Mommy put the rash gel on my little girl parts, but I was scared and confused because even though rashes make me cry, and stingy things are not comfy, I wanted mommy to baby me. Not Just The Flu: When I got the flu last year, mommy put me in diapers, and it felt comfy, but I didn’t really want mommy to know. Mommy didn’t make it seem like she was babying me. I was bathed, diapered, and fed me. It was really embarrassing when she took me to the doctors, and the doctor asked her if I wanted to be in diapers, or I could still use the potty if needed. The doctor checked me, put a tube in my pee pee spot, and gave me two shots in my bottom. I hadn’t seen this doctor before, but she wasn’t as caring as Dr Ellaina. It seems girls like me like Dr Ellaina, even though she almost expects us to wear diapers. Staying home from school, the thing was that as I was getting better, I didn’t ask mommy to stop diapering me. I stayed home from school for a week, and wore diapers for another week and was changed by the school nurses, then pull-ups for a few weeks. I was scared my friends would tease me, but they didn’t say anything. I didn’t think mommy could work from home, but she was able to while I was home from school. When schools closed because of the pandemic, then working from home became necessary. The vivid dreams of being forced to wear diapers, and being treated like a baby became more common after being in diapers all the time, after the flu. Still Need Cuddles: I was awoken from my daydreaming when mommy put another suppository in my bottom. The other thing I noticed was mommy put thicker pad inside my diaper. I guess she expected me to wet a lot during lunch, before my diaper gets too full. Maybe mommy wants me to get used to more messy diapers. I squirmed as mommy finished diapering me, and I still wondered if she wanted to give me a shot for some reason. Mommy picked me up, and cuddled me, and fed me another bottle. She didn’t put my pacifier back in. “Umm… mommy?” I asked, softly and hesitated a bit. “Yes?” she replied, predictably. “Are you going to give me shots..just like daycare.. so I cry?” I asked, scared. “Not to make you cry… babygirl.. but maybe to keep you comfy for naps and other babying. Something bothering you?” Mommy continued. “Uh…. Um.. Shots scary.. but I scared mommy.. I..” I stammered and trailed off in the middle of what I was trying to say. “It’s okay to be scared sometimes. Being a babied and needing diapers might feel uncomfortable and upsetting, but you’ll feel comfy and happy soon enough.” Mommy tried to explain. “It’s not dat… I scared I feel comfy being babied.. I tried to be a big girl.. but me not!” I cried uncontrollably, like a baby. Mommy kept holding me for a few minutes with my pacifier in, before I was ready for another bottle. At first, it seemed like mommy put medicine in my bottles to make me settle down while drinking the bottle. I wondered if I was comforted by bottle feedings, and it wasn’t the medicine making me comfy. Lunch Time, Again: It was soon time for mommy to prepare lunch. I got some rice pudding, with toast cubes mixed in. Mommy finished off with chicken & cheese bites. It was yummy, spoon fed as expected. I felt full but didn’t fuss too much. As I had wet heavily, and had soon messed my diaper, I started getting fussy and crying again. Mommy picked me up, and carried me back to my room, but didn’t put me on the changing table. Soon enough, mommy had another bottle for me. One thing that felt weird about being babied, was how often I was crying. When I was trying to be a big girl, I still cried sometimes. Mommy still sometimes got mad at me when I would cry and complain a lot, even though it was really just for attention. For some reason, I didn’t feel like throwing temper tantrums while being babied. Mommy put my pacifier in, gave me my teddy bear, and let me watch cartoons. After settling down on my bed, I forgot about my messy diaper, and just watched cartoons. I guess mommy wanted me to be a little fussy for my next diaper change. I wanted to feel a bit fussy, as it usually means more cuddles and attention. After getting another bottle, mommy checked my diaper but didn’t change me. I started crying and a felt a little weird when mommy wiped my leg, so I was squirming around a lot and mommy held me tightly. It wasn’t long before I felt something stingy, and mommy kept comforting me until I was too sleepy and weak to fuss. Another Nap For The Baby: Mommy wanted me to drink another bottle as I was falling asleep, and kept holding me and the bottle. I knew I was wet but didn’t care too much. At least mommy wanted me to be in a wet diaper, and feel like a baby. In hospital, they sometimes poke girls like me with a tube to make me pee but stay dry. It is really stingy sometimes. I burst into tears just thinking about it, so being in a wet diaper seemed comforting. Mommy checked my diaper again, and smiled as she noticed that I had wet my diaper a few times, and was warm from constantly wetting. I fell asleep with my pacifier in my mouth, just as she expected.

Thanks for your comment. I usually alternate between stories depending on my mood. I'll be wrapping up "Tricked By My Family" soon-ish. Part of the issue is that my schedule changed. Working on this type of content needs to be done privately. As for rash, stay tuned for an update.

Chapter 11: New Diapers? [Note: I've been having a bit of writers block, and trying to get the focus of the chapters correct. Sorry the chapters are not as frequent as before. Let me know what you think.] I had weird dream that Haylee had a school assignment on taking care of big babies, and how to ensure the babies’ aren’t able to potty train. The staff aim for number, usually a dozen, wet and messy diapers, and how much they wet and mess, so they almost always have soaked and full diapers. They have ways to measure incontinence, so babies have to be genuinely incontinent, and unable to pretend to be incontinent, or require constant sleepy meds, and other meds to make babies feel weak and unable to control their bladder. It felt weird, because some parts were based my daycare visits, and how the nurses and assistants treated me, but also based on the idea she had experience wearing a diaper in her teens. Another weird dream was they had parents and girls apply to the daycare, and tell Nurse Nina how they expect the girl to loose her control, and how much control they have now, and why they want to be enrolled at the daycare. Some of the responses were interesting, like some parents thought their girl would behave better if she is babied more, and some parents wanted to potty train them a second time, later on. Some parents just liked the closeness and hugs of babying their daughters. Some parents said their daughter wanted diapers, or were asked to choose if they wanted to be back in diapers. One set of parents had 8 daughters, the oldest twins were 10 and the youngest was 4. They’d heard of families keeping kids in diapers or pull-ups because of the bathroom being so busy, and accidents happen often. Nurse Nina also asked if the girls have frequent diaper rashes, or if rashes are expected, and how the girls responded to being changed with a diaper rash. With the parents answering all these questions, sometimes holding their daughter and sometimes seated next to them, would be very embarrassing for the young girl. Some girls cried. When I woke up, mommy must have heard me crying because she came in to check on me, and noticed my diaper was leaking. She wasn’t upset with me, she seemed happy with me waking up, with a leaky diaper, and still feeling weak and sleepy. Mommy put me on the changing table, then went to prepare bottles for me. As she returned she coaxed me into accepting my bottle, as I was weak and sleepy. After that replaced my sheets and blankets, she removed my diaper and changed me, with another suppository in my bottom. The suppository was a bit stingy, so it was probably to make me sleepy and weak. When mommy picked me up, and fed me the next bottle, I felt really sleepy and weak. I fell asleep in her arms, and was soon back in bed. Some time later, I briefly woke up and knew I’d soaked my diaper again. My Baby Breakfast: Waking up in the morning felt weird. I squirmed around but didn’t really cry. Mommy picked me up, and fed me a bottle. Mommy had to support me firmly because the meds kept me weak, and I felt helpless. Another bottle, more cuddles and mommy tried to comfort me as I cried more. When mommy tries to comfort me, and I haven’t been changed yet, I usually cry. Laying on the changing table, mommy carefully changed me, and poked another suppository in, and another diaper on. I’m pretty sure I wet my diaper before mommy had a chance to lift me off the changing table. When I got in the dining room, mommy had put a booster seat on the chair as I expected, but having tummy and chest straps for breakfast was something she doesn’t usually do. I cried a bit, and mommy hugged me. Breakfast started with some type of goopy oatmeal, it didn’t taste as bad as my face seemed to suggest. “Mommy, my tummy feels weird. I full” I said, sounding babyish. Mommy smiled, and paused for a moment. “Oatmeal helps your tummy settle, so you don’t get so many cramps, which make you cry. Do you want another bottle?” Mommy responded. I was still crying, and just nodded. I was feeling full, but mommy seemed to want me to keeping feeding me. She had a bottle ready for me, and I drank it slowly, then felt too weak and sleepy, causing me to drop the bottle. Mommy kept feeding me the bottle. Just then, I knew my mommy was feeding me like this. She was planning on letting me stay a helpless baby, with no big girl abilities, at least for today. My feelings confused me, but it felt comforting to not have to think about things. I burst into tears, and mommy noticed and picked me up and carried me to the couch. She held me and moved from side to side. “Would you like yum yum food or an early nap?” She asked, wondering. “Umm… food please, mommy” I answered, although I had trouble talking clearly. I didn’t want mommy to use stingy ways to make me quickly nap, without me fussing too much. Mommy prepared pancakes, sausages and eggs, first eating her own breakfast, while I stayed laying down on the couch. After heating up my pancakes and sausages, mommy chopped them up into small pieces, ready for spoon feeding. Pretty soon I was on my booster seat, strapped in, and fed my breakfast. After breakfast, I laid on the couch, watching some childish cartoon that I couldn’t figure out the name of, or really focus on. I still felt confused, but had to ask mommy a question that kept popping into my head. “Mommy… I feel sleepy lots.. is that cause daycare needs me like dat.. or so I can’t be a big girl?” I asked, trying to talk and feeling like I couldn’t find the words to say. Did mommy want me to only talk like a toddler? “I want you to feel good about needing mommy to feed you, change you and take care of you like a baby, until you get used to going in your diaper like a baby, because mommy knows you need this for a while” Mommy tried to explain. “Umm… So I be like dis for daycare? Even when I stay good girl for them?” I asked, although I didn’t think they’d let me just be another girl in diapers. “Yes, the meds make sure you stay in your daycare bed, and let them take care of you. Do you want daycare in the afternoon, while mommy goes to the shops, and buys things we need?” Mommy replied, although she asked if I wanted to go to daycare, seemed like she decided and was just seeing if I’d say yes. I nodded with some hesitation. After laying on the couch for a while, wrapped in a blanket, watching cartoons and dozing off, I had the familiar feeling in my tummy, and soon after had a full diaper. Mommy noticed and carried me to the changing table. Another diaper change, and more bottles to drink. Mommy spent her morning doing work things and making phone calls. She checked my diaper a few times, but didn’t change me until just before lunch. I was starting to feel less sleepy, and not so weak. “Mommy.. was I sleepy and baby enough dis morning?” I asked, still curious how helpless mommy wanted me to be. It felt confusing, but I wasn’t upset. “Yes, Did you feel like a comfy baby?” She asked in response. “Umm…. Sort of… but I kept forgetting about cartoons. Can I be less sleepy, but need mommy to feed me, and help me sit up?” I asked, wondering. “We’ll see what meds the daycare nurses give you, and how you feel when you wake up from nap time. Okay?” She responded, and I nodded. Mommy heated up some creamy chicken soup, with lots of bread in it, for my lunch. I needed to be strapped to the chair, and spoon fed. Part of me wanted a highchair, like they use at daycare for some of the girls. Daycare Time: Another diaper change, and mommy carried me out to the car for daycare. I was strapped into my car seat, and dozed off. When we arrived at daycare, I was met by carried in and met by Nurse Laura. Nurse Laura put me on a changing table in the main room, quickly checked me over, removed my diaper and noted I was pretty much soaked in less than an hour. Mommy nodded as if she expected me to wet heavily during the car ride. “How has her fluid intake been, does she need much coaxing to get her to drink her bottles and sippy drinks?” Nurse Laura asked, a little concerned. “She’s been good, I’m still not sure if she is wetting constantly, or her bladder spasms and she floods at once. Sometimes she needs coaxing to drink, but it seems like the meds are making her doze off during bottle feedings. I don’t think her current meds are too much for her. She seems accepting this level of baby treatment. Any suggestions?” Mommy replied, I didn’t know if I should be scared, or glad that mommy wants me to accept the babying, and not have to force me to let her do whatever she’s going to do to me. “Well, What is her mood like as the meds wear off, does she throw temper tantrums, or just cry a bit? Do you restrain her at home?” Nurse Laura asked as she continued with cleaning my little girl parts. “She seems happy, no restraints other than for the changing table, although she’s too weak to do much other than lay there, drink her bottle or use her tablet, at least with the meds at this level” Mommy replied. “But aware and responsive when you touch her or say something to her?” Nurse Laura responded. It felt weird because I could talk, but didn’t want to. “She’s responsive, and can talk, but it seems she has trouble finding the words, or focusing on specific things” Mommy continued. “Once she adjusts to the meds, her focus will return somewhat. I have an idea on how we could make things easier. We can put a smart monitor on her, and there is also special diapers that can have a sensor track her movement and diaper usage. Something you’d like to try?” Nurse Laura explained. “Yes, that would be good. Sometimes, I’d like her to wet heavily, and want another diaper change more often. Does that seem strange?” Mommy questioned. “No, Often mothers enjoy the closeness. The little girls seem to enjoy the attention. I’ve seen some girls want more bottles and sippy drinks for the attention, and diaper change that follows.” Nurse Laura continued, as she put a suppository in my bottom, and then finished changing me. For some reason, she didn’t give me a shot. At least not yet. It was time for mommy to leave, and Haylee came in, as she’s good with taking care of girls like me, so I smiled back.. Soon enough, Haylee picked me up, put me in a roller chair, and took me back to my bed in the main room. After settling in, Haylee had a tray of bottles, for me and another girl in one of the other beds. The other girl, younger than me, and seemed shy.. I’m pretty sure she was napping at daycare last time, but I wasn’t sure and she didn’t seemed to talk much. She just accepted the bottle and started drinking. Haylee sat me up and fed me my bottle, which I enjoyed. A lot of thoughts went in and out of my head, and I was starting to expect to be too weak and sleepy, so mommy, and now Haylee have to fuss over me. “Umm… I’ll be a sleepy girl for daycare, even after a few days of this?” I asked Haylee. Babygirl feelings seem stuck in my head, even though it felt embarassing to tell anyone. “Well, We’ll see what your mom and Nurse Laura figure out” Haylee replied. “Oooh… I be good” I replied, as I settled into being fed my bottle. Haylee waited for my tummy to settle, gently rocking me, before she fed me the next one. I didn’t have much strength left, and just let her hold me without saying a word. Smart Diapers: I started to get really sleepy when Nurse Laura came in and put me in a rolling chair and took me to her office, with Haylee pushing me from behind. I became teary and crying, and felt scared. At least my diaper was wet, as Haylee fed me bottles before I laid down. After being placed on the changing table, and strapped down, Haylee removed my diaper and started cleaning me. I probably looked like a toddler, crying and using my pacifier, while getting my diaper changed. I got my temp checked, and a suppository, which made me fuss and cry like usual. Part of me expected Nurse Laura to give me a little sting somewhere, but I was already being a good baby girl, and crying like they expected. After using some gel on my little girl parts, which felt a little stingy, I was squirming a little but couldn’t do much as I was very weak and sleepy. Nurse Laura put a strange liner in my diaper, with a little wire attached, after putting booster pads in there. She obviously expected me to wet during my nap, and I felt pretty comfy as they put the diaper on. She attached a sticker thing on the outside of my diaper, and another sticker thing under my belly button. This wasn’t the sticky thing some of the other girls had on their tummy. Nap Time: Haylee took me back to my bed, and fed me another bottle before I was given a plushy bear, and was soon asleep and dreamy. In my dream, I was laying in a bed, which seemed like a different school. Maybe I was given some stronger meds, but I felt like I couldn’t move my legs and my arms were very weak, but the school nurse didn’t seem concerned. The nurse commented that this is how good girls should be, so they can be babied fully. My tummy cramped as I woke up from my dream, and Haylee noticed and held me then fed me with another bottle, until I was asleep again. I don’t think I’d mind if mommy kept feeding me during my nap, especially when I woke up from a bad dream or something. I was briefly and barely awake when Haylee and Nurse Laura were talking about how wet my diaper was, and how I was wetting with little control, and flooded my diaper at least once. Haylee checked my diaper a few times, which didn’t feel so weird. The meds they gave me were pretty strong, and I was still quite sleepy, and weak, not to mention wetting repeatedly. It seemed like early evening when Haylee came over with Nurse Laura, to change my diaper. It still feels weird when I’m laying there, and they talk about me and how much I wet my diaper, or how much I messed my diaper, as if I can’t understand what they’re saying. Haylee made quick work of removing my diaper and cleaning me, while Nurse Laura wanted to do a quick swab of my pee pee spot, to make sure I was being cleaned properly, and not getting an infection. I was just laying there, without restraint straps, while they swabbed me. One thing I didn’t expect was numbing gel on my little girl parts, before they poked one of the spots where I had a rash, for some reason. I cried a lot because it felt a little scary, although it didn’t make me sore. I didn’t move around much, and they finished that part soon after. Haylee seemed a little uncomfortable, but comforted me and told me I was a good girl. I had another thick diaper, with pads and another special liner, just like before. Mommy often puts a thick diaper on me, especially since she keeps giving me meds to make me wet a lot, and be weak and sleepy. After changing me, and washing their hands, then cleaning my hands, it was time for me drink more bottles, and Haylee started feeding me the first one. I wondered if they really did want me to soak my thick diapers quickly, just to need another diaper change, or burst into tears. Soon after, Haylee brought over some meatloaf and pasta with cheese sauce. As expected, she put a bib one me and spoon fed me the meal. I squirmed around so at least some would be on my face, and spill onto the bib. “Open wide” she kept saying, as my eyes followed the spoon. I think she wanted me to move around and fuss, or it wouldn’t be as much fun to feed me. After finishing feeding me the meal, Haylee wiped my mouth. “Was it yummy?” Haylee asked, and I nodded, before laying down again, with Haylee’s help. I watched more cartoons before dozing off. Mommy Returns: When mommy came in, somewhat later than expected, I smiled as Haylee brought her into the room. “Maddy’s been a good girl this afternoon and evening. I even fed her a bottle when she seemed to wake up during her nap, and went back to napping without any additional meds.” Haylee explained. “Sounds like she enjoyed herself” Mommy replied. “Yup, I was good babygirl” I stammered. The meds make it hard for me to talk much, because I can’t seem to find the words, unless I really try hard. After a brief discussion, Nurse Laura entered the room, and after a brief discussion, suggested mommy pick me up, and put me on the changing table nearby. Even though they diapered me thickly, I probably needed changing. “Maddy has the new diapers we got in, that we can use a smart monitor to see how wet she is, and when she needs changing. She remained comfortable and quite sleepy, as expected. No shots, and only the suppositories as planned.” Nurse Laura confirmed to my mommy. “It can be hard to tell when to change the thicker diapers. The rash gel is working, although it does make her fussy. I’m debating if I should change her more often, including while asleep. The new smart diapers come in different thicknesses, don’t they?” Mommy asked, as she removed my diaper and started cleaning my little girl parts. I’m glad I was sleepy, because having people see me get my diaper changed is embarrassing. It’s another thing I have to get used to. “Correct, and you can use the sensor pads on other diapers, even the thinner ones. Thicker diapers give more comfort and flexibility in when to change them. Maddy doesn’t seem too fussy about being wet or with the current meds. The bladder activity sensor indicated she is wetting without trying to maintain bladder control. It can be tough for some girls to stop trying to maintain control, and to be heavily sedated as they regress and become incontinent. As long as her rash doesn’t become severe, she probably won’t need a foley catheter. She seems quite okay with being unable to function at her age level. Did she say anything to you?” Nurse Laura asked. “No, but she seemed like she’s getting used to being at daycare. Even though she knows what the routine here is like. She’s babied around the clock, and seems like she enjoys all the attention” Mommy replied. “Here is the sensor liner for her diaper. They help keep her feel somewhat dry, and monitor her wetness. It’s useful, especially with a lot of incontinent kids” Nurse Laura explained. Having them talk about me, in front of me, still feels so strange. I blushed slightly, because they think I enjoy it. “Thanks, I’ll use these at home. It’s nice you prepared a take-home bag of goodies for Maddy.” Mommy responded. It was quite a large bag. “Thank you, I good baby” I said as mommy put me in the roller chair. I felt really confused, because I didn’t know how I was feeling about all this. Heading Home Sleepy: As mommy put me in my car seat, I was squirming a little, but needed mommy to strap me in, as I was too sleepy and weak to do anything other than sit there. “Mommy, Do you like giving me bottles when I really sleepy?” I asked, too sleepy to speak clearly. “Yes Maddy, I like feeding you when your sleepy, because you seem so comfy, it helps you feel like a baby. Do you feel like a comfy baby?” Mommy replied. I blushed slightly, and nodded. As expected, I fell asleep in the car. Once home, I barely noticed when mommy took me inside, once we arrived home. Mommy fed me a bottle on my bed, although I probably needed my diaper changed. After being placed on changing table, I lay there while mommy removed my diaper, and carefully cleaned me. Mommy put the diaper liner on my very thick diaper for night time. It’s a good thing that I don’t try and walk around, because thick diapers make it really hard. Since I was quite sleepy, mommy decided to clean me with wipes, and not bath me before bed. I had another sticky thing on my chest and another just above my eyes, on my head. After that, I was in a warm onesie and back in my bed, with mommy feeding me another bottle. I fell asleep shortly after laying down, with my pacifier and my teddy bear..

I have a new chapter coming out soon, but I want it to have the right feel, and continue the story, beyond just describing a scene. I've also been dealing with some other health issues, so haven't written as much.

Chapter 5: Another Job Offer? I really enjoy my quiet lifestyle. Nobody knows who I am, or what I do for work, or what type of undergarment I have on. Getting unsolicited job offers is normal, in this post-pandemic world. The seemingly contrary problem of high unemployment, and not enough skilled employees for jobs that remain, is perplexing. In an ironic job offer, one of the hospitals I was a nursing student at, wanted me to write whitepapers on medical technology. What I know is that executives don’t really want to know all the features of a system or other medical device, they want to know the business benefit. Doctors are way too easily influenced by supplier lunches and events. I would think the pandemic related restrictions would have permanently reduced most of this type of thing, at least in person, but no. I guess there is such a thing as a free lunch. The only reason why I even considered writing whitepapers for this hospital, was because I wanted to show the supervisors and managers I used to work for, that I’m not someone who doesn’t know how anything about hospitals. My classroom was at a hospital for longer than I care to admit. I didn’t tell the hospital of my past, but some of my instructors in nursing classes knew I was not just another student, without them knowing my past. Another Call From Mikela’s Mom: My day of writing whitepapers and preparing for tutoring Mikela on biology tonight. I can’t figure out why they make younger students learn subjects, at a level more suited for high school students, and some teachers knowledge at that level is limited to the textbook. I know teaching is hard, but even in middle school, the teacher don’t always get the time or the additional material to actually understand the topic well. Middle school, at least for Mikela’s school, is like a mix of teachers who only teach one subject, like high school, with homeroom classes like in elementary school. The usual science teacher is on leave, and her current science teacher isn’t very good with biology. The school nurse called her parents, and said Mikela wasn’t feeling well, and needed to be picked up, and taken to the ER. I’ve met this ‘school nurse’ before and she is actually not a nurse. She worked as a cafeteria supervisor, teaching assistant, and then school nurse. Apparently all is required is a first aid certificate. I agreed to pick her up from school, and partly to be get my point across, I put my EMT safety jacket on, and drove to school. I had the jacket since I was a volunteer EMT for short time, when I was on my uncles farm. I drove to school and arrived there reasonably quickly, then grabbed my EMT kit from my car, and walked in. Mikela knew me well enough to know I wasn’t upset with her, but the school nurse was surprised to see me. I don’t think the school nurse knew I was an EMT. I coolly looked at the school nurse. “I got a phone call that Mikela needed transportation to the hospital. What is the medical emergency?” I asked, sounding very serious and professional. “She complained of a headache, and seemed to have difficulty breathing. She also doesn’t her have inhaler with her. I had her lay down and called her parents” the nurse explained, in a smug tone. “What her vitals when she came in?” I asked, again sounding professional. “I didn’t check her vitals. As a nurse here, I don’t normally do that” the nurse replied, still sounding smug. “Why do you call yourself a nurse? You are neither licensed nor certified!” I retorted. I’m not usually that blunt, but I was well aware of Mikela’s parents frustration and difficulties in Mikela’s education during her recovery. “I am certified, as required by the school district” She replied, annoyed. “Mikela seems stable enough to walk to my car. Do you need me to stop by the front office to sign her out?” I asked, avoiding showing my disgust at her lack of professionalism. “Yes, I’ll walk you there” She replied. I put Mikela’s backpack on my back, and headed to the front office. Signing out Mikela went without incident. Once we got in my car, Mikela had a puzzled look on her face. “What happened at school?” I asked, still a little worried. “Umm… I have a headache, and my anxiety was pretty bad at school. Are you upset that I made you pick me up from school?” She asked, sounding scared. “Not at all. I’m not upset. School can be stressful place. It wasn’t that long ago, I can still remember high school” I replied, calming her down. “Umm...Miss Macey isn’t used to be people calling her out like that” Mikela said, genuinely surprised I spoke to her like that. “She failed to follow the 504 plan. And it’s illegal to pass yourself off as a nurse, If you don’t have a license. Technically CNAs can’t call themselves nurses. If she can’t tell the difference between anxiety and breathing difficulty, then she shouldn’t be in the job.” I explained to Mikela. She managed a smile. “Are you sure my parents aren’t going to be mad, when they find out what you said to Miss Macey?” Mikela asked, genuinely worried about their reaction. “Nope. Who do you think told me about her lack of nursing qualifications? Your mom told me. She’s even more irritated, because she’s had to take time off to meet with the school principal or other supposedly experts on special needs education” I explained to Mikela. A short time later, we were near the local Wendy’s, and Mikela had settled down, so I purchased two chicken sandwiches, nuggets, fries, and chocolate milkshakes. I wondered if Mikela eats enough, because she does skip meals when she’s upset. This time she enjoyed the fries during her ride home. I resist the temptation to eat meals while driving, even though the car drives itself most of the time. I don’t like eating in my car, or allow others to eat in my car. Mikela is usually pretty careful about eating in my car, and if she’s had a bad day, I’ll make an exception. Mikela’s Home: Once we arrived home, Mikela and I finished our Wendy’s meal, then she laid down on her bed, and settled down. I took a look at the subjects she was currently studying, ready for tutoring and homework. Maybe half an hour later, Mikela walked over to me with a strange, but cute, look on her face, seemingly confused. “Mikela, Did you have a good nap?” I asked. “Umm… I might need to go potty soon… and need help taking off my… ummm… uh... diaper” She said with all the shyness of a preschooler. I went into the bathroom, and put her on the changing pad. She was messy, so after removing her diaper, I cleaned her bottom and girl parts, then helped her of the changing pad. She went to use toilet, and I left the room, to give her a little privacy. It seems strange to some, giving girls like Mikela privacy when they use the toilet even though I’ve changed her diapers, even her messy diapers, often enough. It still makes a lot of diaper dependent kids uncomfortable to have somebody watch them use the toilet, including me as a young girl. A short time later, she called out and I returned and put her back on the changing pad, cleaned her a bit, and out her in a fresh diaper. Naturally, we both washed our hands. I went to the kitchen to prepare snacks and milkshakes for both of us, after washing my hands, yet again. Mikela had her tablet, laptop and books on the table, as we both finished the snacks and milkshakes. After Mikela settled down, It was time to focus on tutoring Mikela. Her parents aren’t super strict on the tutoring vs babysitting part, considering that babysitters used to charge more than tutors usually do. As things opened up more and more, and not everyone worked-from home, good babysitters were still hard to find and rates increased. We focused on math and chemistry homework, for an hour or so, before Mikela seemed like she needed a break. This time, Mikela had a can of diet coke. Since she doesn’t get hyper, and has little bladder control, trying to restrict her soda consumption doesn’t make a difference. After another half hour of homework and tutoring, Mikela seemed tired. I wasn’t expecting what she asked for next. “Umm… ummm…. Uh… Can I have nap time?” She asked, very hesitantly. “Are you feeling okay, Miky?” I asked, using her nickname from when she was little. She nodded and it seemed like a good time to take her to her room, and change her. Changing her wet diaper went as expected. Afterwards, she laid down in her bed and went to sleep. I think it’s a confusing time, because sometimes she doesn’t feel like a typical 11 year old.

Chapter 10: Mommy’s Evening I was still at daycare, when mommy called them to ask if they’d mind if I could stay a bit later, so she could have dinner with work friends. They agreed, and mommy spoke to me for a few minutes, before I handed the phone back and she was heading out again. I think Haylee went home. Nurse Nina came and checked on me, before Allanah, another honors student, came over to offer me an afternoon feeding. Even though I was a good babygirl, they gave me more meds, so I’d feel sleepier and weaker again. I cried a bit, and Allanah put my pacifier back in. I wasn’t sure if she wanted me to cry, or wanted me to settle down. I guess if she didn’t expect me to cry a bit, then Nurse Nina would have given me more meds, and I’d only feel a little sting, before I’d be a sleepy babygirl. After a short time with my pacifier in my mouth, I dozed off again for another nap, and the next thing I felt was Allanah checking my diaper. It felt weird that it didn’t really bother me to get my diaper checked unexpectedly, by somebody I didn’t know. I wondered if it was all the meds, just made me not care about little things. If I was awake, she’d probably let me know first, but not while asleep. Dozing off again, then waking up, I looked over at another girl my age, she was picked up and her diaper changed. It seemed like she got different meds, because they talked about her levels, just before it seemed she cried a bit. Did they find meds to give us to make sure wet wet our diapers continuously? Did this girl not wet her diaper enough? Did she try and hold her pee pee, when they didn’t want to? All I knew is that I was soaked and messy, so I cried a bit more. Pretty soon, Allanah picked me up, made sure I had my pacifier in my mouth, and took me over to the changing table. Nurse Nina wanted to make sure I was changed properly, and gently supervised Allanah as she cleaned my little girl parts, applied rash gel, and diapered me again. After Allanah carried me back to my bed, and washed their hands, Nurse Nina handed her another bottle to feed to me. I got slightly red faced when Allanah commented that she’ll probably need to change me again soon enough. Another staff person, don’t think she was a nurse, had meal trays for me, and a the other remaining girls in the room. One of the girls got up from her bed, and sat at the table, joining the other 3 girls at the table, but the other girl my age, and the younger girl was still laying down, and stayed in bed. Meeting Danika: Nurse Nina walked over with her other nurse assistant behind her. “Maddy, This is Danika, she’ll be the assistant helping us this evening. Would you like anything now, before your dinner and bottles?” Nurse Nina asked, seeming quite calm. I didn’t know how to respond. “Umm… not really. I be good” I answered her, still feeling sleepy from the meds in the last bottle they fed me. Danika had me sit up in bed, with a pillow behind me, and put a bib on me. I was spoon fed, potato bites, fish sticks, veggies with cheese topping, and and fed another bottle. I didn’t move around much, but still needed my face wiped, although the bib stopped my top getting food all over it. I felt full, and laid back down with minimal fussing. Danika fed the young girl next to me, after swapping gloves. I hadn’t heard this girl talk much, but she seemed like it, and wanted to be spoon fed. She squirmed a lot more, and Danika asked if she wanted to be fed in a high chair. She giggled a bit, before blushing slightly, but didn’t say anything. A short time later, Allanah whispered something to the young girl next to me, she seemed to respond somehow without using her words. Allanah handed her another bottle, and she laid down and seemed comfy drinking her bottle. Since this girl seemed sleepy like me, Danika changed her on her bed, with Allanah assisting, causing her to blush even more. She cried for a bit, so she might have been both embarrassed and maybe felt a little sting in her tummy, although Danika did it efficiently, and I didn’t all she was doing. Even though I was feeling fussy, and for some reason, wanting all this toddler treatment, I wasn’t ready for what they asked her. “Little Kay, are you comfy and sleepy enough, so when mommy picks you up, you’ll be ready to go home and go ni ni without bad dreams?” Nurse Nina asked her, seeming concerned. “Umm… No, I still squirm and fuss. Me eat proper, thirsty, but mommy wants me not have bad dreams. Me cry then really sleepy?” She said. I’m not sure if she wanted to sound like a toddler, but she didn’t seem scared. The girl next to me, Kay, or whatever her name is, seemed to really like drinking her bottles and when Nurse Nina came out, she noticed Kay’s diaper was wet again. Nurse Nina poked her tummy, which feels scary to me, but she only cried a bit. A few minutes later, Kay seemed to be almost asleep, as Danika fed her the rest of the bottle. “Comfy now?” Nurse Nina asked her, but she didn’t seem to respond, except a slight smile, and Danika had her lay down on the bed again. What Does Mommy Expect?: Seeing the nurses feed this young girl next to me, comfort her, change her, and make her completely helpless, made me wonder why they are giving her all these meds. Maybe she threw tantrums too much, or maybe it’s just she likes it when she gets toddler treatment, to help her with whatever medical issue she has. I started squirming and crying because I wanted to be a fussy, helpless little girl. After all the meds they gave me, I wasn’t sure if I could do anything on my own. It felt weird to be so sleepy and weak, but I really felt good about the toddler. The way they made it sound like Kay’s mommy wanted her sleepy and weak, for her ride home. As all the meds made my feelings seem like a dream, except I didn’t get teased like at school, in my nightmares. At daycare, Even when they changed me on my bed, I blushed and felt embarrassed, but I stopped worrying that the other girls could see me. Getting my poopy bottom cleaned and another diaper taped on, still felt embarrassing when other girls knew that I needed my diaper changed, and had to go to the changing table. Allanah came over and had me sit up for another spoon feeding, with banana pudding, and another bottle. I wondered if they fed me so much pudding in the evening, to ensure I’ll mess my diaper when mommy gets me home, or during the night. They really want me to feel like a toddler. who is sleepy and fussy when mommy picks me up tonight. The other girl my age was picked up and cuddled by Allanah, fed her bottles, and wasn’t interested in spoon fed dinner or more pudding. It took a few minutes, but she started accepting the spoon feeding of her dinner. Nurse Nina wanted to check her levels after the meal, something I couldn’t figure out what they meant, but all this girl did was cry. Allanah and Danika both tried picking her up, and rocking her gently, it took a few minutes, before the meds and the cuddles let her stop crying. Danika asked why she was crying, and she just looked at her, without saying a word. It seems in the evening, the staff expect some of the girls won’t want to use their words. I hated when teachers at school wanted me to talk, especially in front of the class, and the teacher would say “Use Your words” and I’d either cry or sometimes wet my panties. Time To Go Home: Another lady came in the room, and Danika spoke to her, and then directed her to Kay’s bed, and picked her up. “Kaylah is accepting the new meds and toddler treatment as we expected. She needed to be held and fed her bottles, along with spoon feeding. As for changing her, she needed 8 diaper changes today.” Danika explained to her mom. It seems that she was slightly embarrassed, but she really did want all this toddler treatment. Her mom just nodded. “Do you think she’ll want these meds as part of her evening routine here, after her orientation? Car rides are an issue with her. Even with headphones on, she doesn’t like car noises, so having her sleep in the car is preferred” Her mom asked, somewhat concerned. “Maybe, Do you want to her to get suppositories, with stronger extended release sedatives, like Nina suggested?” Danika asked. “If she has more issues with car rides, I’ll give her sedative suppositories. I don’t think she likes suppositories, although she hasn’t fought her toddler treatment this time around.” Her mother continued. I wasn’t sure why she hated car rides, but it seems toddler treatment was why her mom wanted her in the daycare program. The other girl my age, I hadn’t heard them use her name, and she didn’t talk at all. When her mom came to collect her, with Danika telling her mommy about her day. It seemed like this girl had issues with her feelings, and often crying at school. She also wet her panties often, and when her mom started diapering her, she seemed more comfy with being babied. Danika changed her again on her bed, and put a suppository in her bottom, causing her to cry. After diapering her again, she tried to hug Danika, but was too weak and sleepy, so Danika hugged her and she smiled back. When her mom picked her up, she settled into her mothers arms, and was carried out, probably to their car. My Mommy Arrives: When my mommy arrived, I was happy to see her, but stayed in bed because the meds made me completely helpless and too weak to get up, unless held or picked up. “Did you have a good day at daycare?” My mommy asked, and I just nodded, as she hugged me. Mommy noticed I’d soaked my diaper. “Ma’am Would you like us to change Maddy before you both head home?” Danika asked my mommy, who nodded, and I laid back down on the bed. “Yes please. That would be appreciated” Mommy replied. Danika brought over changing supplies, including gloves for her and mommy. Mommy removed my diaper and started cleaning my little girl parts, with Danika assisting. “Has Maddy been a good girl for her diaper changes?” Mommy asked. “Yes, she’s been good. She didn’t seem too embarrassed when changed while laying in the bed, instead of taken to a changing table. The meds she’s on to help keep her comfortable for her toddler treatment, limit her anxiety during diaper changes. This is her 8th diaper change today, which is usual for a girl receiving toddler treatment like her.” Danika explained. Mommy rolled me onto my tummy to finish cleaning me and I just laid there. “I check Maddy’s temp at home, during some of her diaper changes. She usually behaves. Did she need shots or suppositories today?” Mommy asked. “No more shots, and she had one suppository earlier, to help her mess during her nap, which also helped her wake up with fussy toddler feelings.” Danika replied, and I blushed and felt embarrassed, especially as I was getting my bottom cleaned. I didn’t heard what Danika and my mommy said, but they checked my temp, and I squirmed. When the suppository went in my bottom, I wanted to cry, but I was also kind of glad they didn’t do stingy things to make me cry more. After turning me onto my back, then positioning my legs in place, Danika finished cleaning my little girl parts. Using a swab to clean me, feels weird and I often squirm and blush. Mommy seemed satisfied with the cleaning process. As I was really weak from all the meds, I just laid their quietly, partly because I was so confused about how I felt. Mommy seemed impressed with how they handled things, and it also seemed like she wanted me to get the full toddler treatment at daycare. Mommy taped on my new diaper, washed her hands, and hugged me on the bed. Nurse Nina walked over, with two more bottles for me to drink. Mommy asked me the question I didn’t want to answer. “Do you want to come back tomorrow afternoon while I go shopping and a short meeting with some work friends?” Mommy asked me, while hugging me. “Umm…. Ummm.. Maybe... Will Haylee be there?” I stammered. “Yes, She’ll be here tomorrow afternoon. Any special requests?” Nurse Nina responded, and I was lost for words. “Ummm…. Am I allowed Mac & Cheese? Thats yummy” I asked. “Only if you let Haylee or the other staff feed you. Toddlers can’t feed themselves” Mommy replied, half jokingly. I blushed and nodded. While mommy was organizing my bag and stuff, Danika handed mommy the bottle to feed me, and mommy did, sitting on the bed holding me, then a second bottle. The meds in one of the bottles made me feel really weak, but I hugged Danika and Nurse Nina, before mommy picked me up and carried me to the car. Going To Bed: I fell asleep in the car, and was barely awake when mommy carried me into the house, and once inside, she put me on the changing table and tightened the straps, before she went and brought in some items from the car. The diaper change with me barely awake, actually felt comforting, and after that, mommy held me on my bed. After I’d settled a bit, Mommy went to the kitchen to prepare more bottles for me. I’m pretty sure I was asleep soon after the second bottle. I’m still surprised at how often mommy and the daycare nurses want me drinking my bottles. I think my babygirl feelings weren’t as weird as the feelings about why I’m accepting of all the babying without throwing tantrums, and not getting mad at mommy for making me accept all this toddler treatment, especially dealing with the embarrassment of strangers changing me, and examining my little girl parts. I wasn’t feeling upset as I fell asleep, because I was a comfy babygirl.

Chapter 9: Changing Times [Note: This chapter focuses on some of the medical aspects, but also on her feelings. Let me know what ya'll think of this chapter.] After sleeping soundly, only waking up a little bit, after a vivid dream or when my tummy cramped a bit, or needing to go poopy in my diaper. Sometimes I do that while sound asleep, other times I wake up a bit. Even with the meds mommy gave me to keep me comfy yesterday, and sleep soundly, I was still having vivid dreams. In my dreams, I wanted to be spoon fed, and the nurses commented that I’m making progress in my regression behaviors, whatever that means. They said my bladder control was almost none, as they expected. It still felt weird to have nurses tell me they wanted me to stay in diapers. Another weird dream I have is when I suddenly can’t move, and mommy takes me to the hospital, the doctors poke and prod me, but give me more meds so I wouldn’t be scared. As I’m waiting, a different doctor tells the nurse to take me to the other room, do x-rays, and then an upper and lower body cast. I was confused as I didn’t have any broken bones. The doctor was apologetic at the mistake, and loaned mommy a bigger stroller for me. After getting more meds, mommy takes me home in the casts, with a thick diaper on. I asked mommy why she wanted me to stay in the casts, because they were supposed to put the casts on a different girl who got broken bones. Mommy says that it’ll help me with my treatment, even though it wasn’t planned to use casts. I had yet another weird dream, the dream about having my diaper changed at school, in front of the class, with the 5 other girls in diapers next to me, and no privacy. We were told to keep our legs spread, in the leg things on the changing table, placed over the desks. The nurse gave me a suppository, and a big sippy drink, and told the 6 of us we had 15 minutes to finish two sippy drinks and have a soaked diaper, and 25 minutes to be messy, from the suppository. I burst into tears from the embarrassment. I soaked my diaper in just under 10 minutes. The suppository caused strong cramps. I woke up from my dream with cramps, messed my diaper again, and went back to sleep. One thing I noticed when I woke up with cramps, apart from the vivid dream, was how weak I felt. My arms and legs felt really heavy. I sobbed slightly, before the sleeping meds made me back to sleep again. I had more weird dreams. This dream was when where I was at a shopping mall, mommy takes me to the baby change room, and puts me up on the changing table, with a pad underneath. It felt like I was younger, maybe 6. Mommy cleaned me up, then another mother said a different rash cream would clear up my rash, but has a stingy sensation when applied. My mommy said she uses it sometimes. The other mother put her daughter on the changing table, and said she was 7 years old. After cleaning her daughter, she used a catheter to empty her daughters’ bladder before the new diaper was taped on. Her daughter didn’t like getting cathed, but her mother said her bladder relaxes after being emptied. Laying on the changing table, I really hoped my mommy wouldn't want to cath me. The other mommy said she hoped her daughter would remain incontinent, after all the issues attempting to potty train her. It felt weird for my mommy and her mommy keep us on the changing tables, and no privacy, and continuing their conversation. I wouldn’t be so upset about a quick diaper change in a mall baby changing room, but having conversations about diapers, incontinence and things, while exposed on the changing table is just too much. I burst into tears at the thought on being that exposed and embarrassed during a diaper change, in front of a stranger. From the shopping mall dream, I woke up and my mommy was in my room, and gently lifted me onto the changing table. Mommy wanted me to drink my bottle, but had to hold it for me while I kept drinking. After the bottle, mommy started removing my diaper. She seemed to want me to close my eyes, while she finished changing me. My diaper went on, and I was soon in my bed again. Laying in my bed, I soon felt the meds in my bottle, that made me suddenly feel really sleepy, and before long, I was sound asleep, and wet my diaper again. Breakfast Time: I woke up, still very drowsy and weak, and started crying, because my diaper needed changing from wetting during the night, and I messed my diaper again, after mommy changed me during the night at least once. I wondered if she would actually use scary, not so comfy ways, to give me sleeping meds for a middle of the night diaper change with me sound asleep. Part of me likes when mommy changes me during the night, barely awake, so gently and carefully, with me just laying there. It’s feels so much like a toddler getting her diaper changed. My night meds made me feel weak and sleepy, but after my diaper change, I stopped crying. Mommy prepared bacon and eggs, and toast, all cut into small pieces and spoon fed to me on the couch, and two bottles of formula. I was a good girl, and didn’t fuss. I just lay on the couch while mommy got dressed, and packed my bag for me. I had another bottle, before mommy took me to my room, to get my diaper changed once more. I was only a little bit messy, but had wet a few times since my last change. She dressed me in my room, putting my clothes on for daycare. I could sit up, but felt too sleepy to get up and walk around. As mommy got me ready for daycare, I had mixed feelings, because I didn’t really understand why mommy was babying me, or why I was so confused about having to be back in diapers. It felt different, not just because I was sleepy and weak from the meds, but I wasn’t embarrassed about being babied, even though I felt like I should be. Daycare Today: I was carried out to the car, and strapped into my car seat. Mommy also gave me a bottle to drink while she drove me to daycare. I knew I’d wet again, but wasn’t sure how wet I was. The meds the doctor had my mommy give me, made me wet without much control. When mommy carried me inside the daycare, I wondered if she’ll buy a stroller soon. Nurse Laura invited my mommy and I into her office, and onto her exam table. “Hi Maddy, How did the doctor visit go?” Nurse Laura asked. “Umm… good.. I sleepy and weak… I wet lots.” I replied hesitantly. “The doctor found she has UTI, but should respond to meds.” My mommy told Nurse Laura, who just nodded. Nurse Laura used the exam table straps to keep me in place, and positioned my legs so she could give me a quick exam. She removed my diaper and started cleaning my little girl parts. Getting my temp checked made me squirm a bit, and cry a bit. “Dr. Elliana was very good, and understood what Maddy needs to get better. She recommended antifungal meds, and antibiotics to clear her UTI. I put them in her bottles. I’m not sure I want to cath her to give her the meds, or give her shots, unless I have to.” Mommy said to Nurse Laura. “Yes, She’s very good. I send parents there when their normal doctor doesn’t understand pediatric incontinence. Did she recommend a shot, for her overactive bladder and abdominal cramps? Or just the oral liquid meds.” Nurse Laura asked. I hate getting shots, and get scared. I squirmed noticeably. “She said shots were preferred medically, but we could also try liquid meds. I assume you could check her abdomen, before giving her a shot?” Mommy explained to Nurse Laura, as I got scared. For some reason, Nurse Laura seemed to expect something like that. I wondered if she was going to give me a shot, I started crying more. “I dun wanna get shots. They sting lots, and scary! Mommy, why do I need more shots?” I cried out, but didn’t really throw a tantrum. “Maddy, The reason Nurse Laura may have to give you a shot, is to keep you comfy. I know shots are scary, but can you trust her to make you a comfy little girl?” Mommy responded. I made a pouting face. Nurse Laura pushed on my tummy, and pushed on my pee pee parts, which caused me to leak slightly. I didn’t notice I had started sucking my thumb. After she put a fresh diaper on me, she washed her hands and put on new gloves, I got scared and cried. My mommy brought a pacifier in the bag, and put it in my mouth. It felt really babyish to have mommy give me a pacifier, at daycare. The Return Of Haylee; Nurse Laura unstrapped me, and mommy started holding me on her lap, trying to comfort me. I closed my eyes, and felt a little sting, and mommy waited for me to settle down. Nurse Laura had a rolling chair, more comfortable than the ones the doctor used. Haylee walked in the room. “Hi Maddy, How are you?” Haylee asked, seemingly happy to see me. “I sleepy and fussy girl today” I replied, after the pacifier fell out of my mouth. Even then, I had trouble getting the words out, without a pacifier. Luckily mommy clipped it to my top. “Laura, is she ready to go to the classroom?” Haylee asked. “Yes, she’s ready. She will probably want to lay down most of the day. The meds the doctor wants her to take are making her drowsy and weak” Nurse Laura replied. Mommy placed me in the rolling chair, and Haylee took me to the classroom, and helped me get out of the chair, and lay down in the bed. After laying on the bed, and dozing off, I still felt weak. Using my pacifier in the classroom felt weird, but nobody seemed to care. The other day, a couple of girls had a pacifier for nap time. When I woke up, Haylee had a sippy drink for me. Some of the girls were eating a snack. Haylee put a bib on Lexie, the girl who got hurt in a car accident, to feed her some sort of snack. It looked like yummy cheese and cookies, although the cookies seemed small. This was mixed in with pudding. Lexie needed to be spoon fed, and seemed okay with her snack. She doesn’t talk, and uses a computer voice sometimes. Another girl, who was a little older, maybe 8, was laying next to Lexie. I don’t think she was there last time. Haylee fed her from two small packs, one looked like banana babyfood, and the other was rice pudding. This girl seemed like she could talk, but didn’t say anything. She drank from a sippy drink, but seemed like she wanted to nap again. When Haylee finished talking with the senior nurse, Nurse Nina, about something, she found some more food, and came over to me. “Would you like a snack, now?” Haylee asked. It felt weird because I felt like I wanted a snack, but also felt like dozing off. I didn’t know how to respond. “Umm… Okay” was all I could respond. Haylee could have just placed the food on a tray, for me to eat. She had other plans though. After Haylee put a bib on me, she spoon fed me the snacks. She seemed quite comfortable spoon feeding older girls like me. I blushed slightly, from how babyish it seemed for me to accept a spoon feeding. “I got sleepy meds.. so I need feeding like a baby” I said, still confused. “I guess they did… but also meds that help keep you comfy” She replied. Did they adjust my meds so I wouldn’t be able to feed myself, or find it too difficult, and let mommy, Haylee and whoever else spoon feed me. One of the girls from the other day who was laying down near me, she had a sticky thing on her tummy. Nurse Nina briefly examined her. She was actually asleep, when she got woken up. “Are you hungry, Elle?” Nurse Nina asked, concerned. “Umm,… Dunno” she mumbled. Haylee had chocolate milk, and pudding for her. Elle didn’t seem interested, but drank from the sippy, and was spoon fed the pudding by Haylee. Haylee’s Changes: Nurse Nina briefly whispered something to Haylee, and she had a curious expression on her face, but I couldn’t figure out why. “Maddy, Can I take you to Nurse Nina’s office to get you changed into a fresh diaper.” Haylee asked. “Umm…. I scared… no hurty!” I cried in return. “Don’t worry, I won’t give you a shot or insert a catheter, I just want to supervise Haylee, to make sure she changes diapers correctly.” Nurse Nina tried to explain as she helped me into the rolling chair, and took me back to her office, and straight on the exam table. When Haylee and I entered her office, It was different than even Nurse Laura’s office. She had two exam tables, and seemed like the things hospitals use to monitor the us when really sick. There were a lot of books, and supply cabinets. She had a small microwave, and another small over. She had a couch in there as well. My mind drifted back to the sticky things on some girls tummies. It seems like girls with the sticky thing need thick diapers. I didn’t see anything like the sticky thing, on the cabinet tops, but they’d probably hide them. Nurse Nina prepared a bottle, and handed it to me. I was barely able to hold the bottle, and felt very weak, so Haylee held the bottle, and for the next bottle. I still wondered why Nurse Laura gave me more meds earlier. I didn’t feel upset, or mad at them, but very confused. Haylee, with Nurse Nina watching, told me to put my legs in position, and she made sure the chest and tummy straps were securing me to the exam table. Haylee did a pretty good job of removing my diaper, even though I was only a little bit messy. As expected, she wiped my little girl parts and my bottom. I was really not looking forward to rolling onto my tummy, as they wanted, because I’d at least get a temp check, and I wasn’t wrong. After finishing cleaning my bottom, Haylee checked my temp, and although she was gentle, I still cried. “Good girl! Temp checks are to help make sure you are healthy, and not getting sick.” Nurse Nina responded. “Sometimes it doesn’t feel good, but I try to be gentle. Once we have you changed, we’ll take you back to the classroom, and I might have a surprise if you’re a good girl” Haylee said, trying to calm me down. With Nurse Nina explaining things, Haylee inserted a suppository in my bottom. She seemed gentle, as mommy sometimes isn’t so gentle, when she seems like she is hurrying. This suppository didn’t sting. A few years ago, I got a bad flu, and mommy gave me suppositories for the next week. Some made me mess my diaper, some seemed for other reasons. If she was busy, she wasn’t so gentle. I was rolled over onto my back, and Haylee pushed my legs into position, and tightened the straps. It was so embarrassing for Haylee to use a cleaning swab to make sure my girl parts were cleaned properly, as instructed by Nurse Nina, because it made me squirm. The rash gel wasn’t very comfortable, but needed as I had a noticeable rash. They took their time, applying the gel, before my diaper was taped on. “We promised you wouldn’t get a shot, or a catheter inserted. I kept my word, and you were a good girl! All comfy now?” Haylee asked. I nodded, although still crying. I was taken back to the classroom, and laying down in the bed. Another bottle fed by Haylee, probably with meds, because I felt even weaker and sleepier. Does Haylee know?: I was laying in my bed and almost dozing off, made me start wondering about things. Is it part of my toddler treatment to wet my diaper within minutes of changing me? Since I had already wet my diaper, I cried a bit. Haylee noticed and put my pacifier in my mouth. She seemed to be slightly concerned. “Would you like to play Go Fish again?” She asked, I shook my head. I just wanted to doze off, because of my meds. “I sleepy!” I replied, with my pacifier in my mouth. I dozed off and lay there quietly. They did check my diaper and used a clip-on thing to make sure I was feeling okay, just like they do at the doctors office. After another quick check, it was almost lunch time. Haylee picked me up and put me on the changing table. She positioned me on the table, and then put my legs in position to change me. With Nurse Laura watching on, Haylee removed my diaper and started cleaning me. First with wipes, and then with cleaning swabs. I did squirm a lot, because it feels weird being changed so thoroughly. More rash gel, and soon a fresh diaper was taped on. I was kind of worried Nurse Laura wanted to do scary things, like a catheter or a not so little stingy things. Haylee put me in a rolling chair, with a tray and took me back to a spot near my bed. Haylee went to double-wash her hands, and put fresh gloves on. She brought over a tray with a large bowl of pudding, a plate of chicken melts, cut into small pieces, plus another bottle. I managed to blush a bit, as she put a bib on me, and sat in a chair to feel me. I let her spoon feed me, starting with the chicken melt pieces, and the bottle, and then the pudding. I didn’t realize, but she had some yummy chocolate pudding to finish up with. Getting my face wiped, made me blush with embarrassment. Haylee returned me to my bed. She also had a small plushy cat, which seemed like she brought it in, and gave it me while I got sleepy again, and dozed off. Even though other student assistants were working with other little girls, The 4 girls, including me, at the back of the classroom seemed to get the most attention from them. I didn’t mind Haylee focusing on me, while I’m forced to be a sleepy girl. After serving lunch to a few of the girls, and spoon feeding Lexie and another girl, they started another round of diaper changes. I had a weird feeling as Haylee picked up Lexie and carried her to the changing table. With the nurses changing the girls, including Lexie, and Haylee assisting them, Lexie was back in her bed, and picked up her tablet. Her message surprised me, and Haylee a little. “Haylee, can you change me in my bed. I’m used to being changed, without much hiding me, and being exposed during changing. Mommy sometimes changes me during picnics and things, or in front of family. It’s kinda embarrassing, but I find it easier to settle down if I’m changed in my bed. I weird girl!” Lexie said, using her tablet voice. “We can if you prefer. My sister who is 12 now, she can be changed without much privacy or modesty. At daycare, we usually try to keep some things out of view, and avoid embarrassing little girls like you, who need diapers” Haylee explained. Turning Red, Me Embarrassed: I tried to avoid blushing in embarrassment, but Nurse Laura came over, after she heard what Lexie said, then surprised me with a question, that was strangely already on my mind. “Would you prefer to be changed in bed?” Nurse Laura asked me. I blushed even more, turned noticeably red, then nodded. Nurse Laura put a pad under me, and then Haylee removed my diaper, and started cleaning me. She didn’t use cleaning swabs, but did put on more rash gel. I also got a suppository in my bottom. I was blushing a lot more as they changed me, then Nurse Laura went and grabbed another bottle for me. Maybe it was all the meds, but I didn’t cry while they were changing me like this. I had no idea why I let them change me, the way they did. It wasn’t like my dreams, not really. Laying there on my bed again, and ready for my nap, I was still blushing and squirming. One thing I wondered is what my mommy think when she finds out I was changed like that. Would she be upset, or would she be glad I'm getting used to all the toddler treatment. As I fell asleep, I felt a slight cramp in my tummy. I wondered if Haylee wanted me to wake up from my nap, feeling like a fussy little toddler. Haylee still didn’t figure out my secret, but I wanted her to let me blush and feel some embarrassment in the classroom. The embarrassing diaper change wasn’t the same as my dreams, but close in some ways. Unlike in my dreams, nobody seemed to notice, and nobody teased me about needing diapers. It wasn’t like I was the only girl in the daycare classroom wearing a diaper. Every girl was wearing a diaper, and most didn’t seem to mind.

I kind of work on whichever story seems most interesting, based on feedback, and whatever I feel like I'm on a roll with. Back To School does seem like a popular story.

Chapter 31: Doctor Knows Best [Note: I tried to better balance the regression and babying with the medical stuff, even though it's a medical appointment. Let me know what you think] A weird feeling I had was that I was sleepy, scared but also happy, but couldn't figure out why I felt happy at having all these babygirl treatments. As the doctors and nurses poked and prodded me, I couldn’t move except for tiny movements as they did their thing to me, but I was sort of aware of them doing things to my bladder. They poked tubes in my pee pee spot, in my bottom, and sometimes they poked inside my girl parts. The doctors were gentle, and kind, as if they knew I was aware of the scary things they were doing to me. It was the oddest feeling when they tested me with special sensors to see how my bladder responded, they also filled my bladder with some liquid, which caused me to move slightly. What was strange was it didn’t hurt, just felt weird. One of the nurses asked the doctor, if they sometimes do something to the nerves, so girls will never potty train. The doctor replied that it’s better for these young girls to have very minimal bladder control, and some feeling as their bladders release. She also said some girls want the secure feeling of a wet diaper, or get good feelings when they wet. I was relieved to hear that from the doctor. It still feels weird that my family wants me to be incontinent and in diapers all the time. The poking and prodding of my bladder continued, as they filled it up and emptied it using the catheter. I knew one of the voices was Dr. Beth, and another was Dr. Elaina. I worried a bit when Aunt Cassie was in the room. “Anything you’d like us to check, Cas, while we have her properly sedated?” Dr. Elaina asked. This worried me even more, because Aunt Cassie wants me to become a complete babygirl. “Did you notice any scaring on her urethra? Or inside her bladder?” Aunt Cassie responded, as I was just laying there, unable to speak, and unable to move around. Sometimes I wonder if the scary babygirl treatments are intended to make me feel okay about bursting into tears, and throw temper tantrums. “There was some scaring, but not enough to contribute to UTIs, although scarring in her bladder might contribute to an overactive bladder.” The doctor answered, although my history with bladder infections was well known. “Are the sensor wires difficult to position properly?” Aunt Cassie wondered. “Not really, for both nerve and EMG studies. The sedation is necessary because of anxiety during the procedure” The doctor continued. I’m pretty sure I’d be really scared with the doctor doing stuff around my little girl parts, if they didn’t keep giving me sleepy meds. “Can you check her pelvic floor muscle?” Aunt Cassie asked. “Yes, we can, although its usually not a factor in major pediatric incontinence” As the doctor used more sensors to see my responses. “Makes sense. I’m glad you provide these treatments. Do girls you treat resent such an invasive treatment, as they regress and become incontinent?” Aunt Cassie asked the doctors. “Actually, As scared as these girls are with the treatments and sometimes temporary or worsening incontinence as a result, we’ve found a secondary result is these girls are no longer feel forced to use the potty, and the regression allows positive attention from parents. It’s not unusual for these little girls to hug us when they return for their checkup” The doctor explained, as one of the nurses interrupted her. “Patient seems to have bladder spasms, which contributes to her overactive bladder. She also might have an issue with how the nerves control pelvic muscles, and the bladder muscles. How should we proceed?” The nurse asked Dr. Elaina “Lets finish up and proceed with the cystoscopy, and ablation of the scar tissue inside her bladder.” The doctor replied confidently. “Her mother says she under hydrates herself to achieve some degree of continence at school, sometimes more than other times, probably leading to fairly frequent UTIs” Aunt Cassie explained. “We can do a more detailed nerve study at a later date” Dr. Elaina confirmed. I’d probably squirm and groan, if I was not almost completely asleep. “That would be appreciated. I think she wants to regress further, but couldn’t understand why she wants to regress.” Aunt Cassie continued. She wasn’t wrong about that. It’s way to embarrassing to tell mommy how I felt. It seemed like Dr. Beth gave me more meds, because I stopped feeling what they were doing, but it seemed like they put a bigger tube in my bladder. It took a while before they swapped tubes, probably back to a normal catheter. When the doctors moved to poking inside me, I had little clue what they were doing but it sounded like they did something inside there. I thought they mentioned a biopsy, which sounded painful. After they spent a while doing whatever they were doing. Dr. Elaina seems to understand that even though they do things that will make me sore for a few days, they know what is needed so I can stop feeling like a big girl, and enjoy feeling like a babygirl for a while. After that, the doctor inserted other things in my bottom. I thought the doctor commented that I had been cleaned out properly, unlike most patients they treat. I was drifting off to sleep, then waking up slightly, as they did all the things to my bottom. I kept wondering if Katey needed the same treatment when she was younger. Did she want even more treatment? They seemed to insert some tube thing inside my bottom, and I still felt tummy cramps, as they kept pushing it up and around my tummy. After the tube came out of my bottom, they put all this cotton up into my bottom and inside my girl parts. Did the doctors know I was still not completely asleep? In a weird way I found it comforting that I still knew what they were doing. Another nurse prepared some other instrument, and wiped my sides, near my tummy. I’m pretty sure this was something different than what they did to me so far. I felt them push on my sides, but they probably poked me with something sharp. The scary part was that I wasn’t sore or actually feeling scared. As they finished doing whatever they were doing to me, I wondered how I’d feel once I wake up. I think it was comforting how the doctors and nurses were so calm as they did all the things they planned. Aunt Cassie seemed like she was happy about how things proceeded. What About Tammy?: After they rolled me back into the other room. I couldn’t help feel that I really did want my aunt and mommy treat me like a baby. Crying uncontrollably and being comforted seemed easier than understanding how most girls my age are supposed to feel. They shined a light in my eyes, and kept a close eye on me, although I don’t think I was actually starting to wake up. It wasn’t long before Tammy was rolled into the other room, but I had a weird feeling that Tammy was acting out so her mommy would decide she needed to be a babygirl for a while. Even with my big sis, I often have trouble telling her my feelings. Mommy seemed like she wanted me to be a big girl, because she called Dr. Elaina to help make sure I would become a babygirl. One of my dreams recently, was that when she visited last time, I was napping in the spare room and being babied after getting the flu. She had a lot of questions for my mommy and Aunt Cassie. Was that why Aunt Hannah thought Tammy wanted to be a babygirl, but she couldn’t tell her mommy, as she’d thought her mommy would find it weird? She would have been diapered for the car ride, but that only made her more confused about her feelings. Did she actually feel good, in a strange way, with her mommy changing her in a public restroom and other things that babygirl treatment would require? Did she know somebody outside our family who was put back in diapers by their parents? Now I’m Really Confused: As I was starting to wake up, I realized my legs were still spread wide on the bed. The nurses did that last time I had things done to my little parts. I guess babygirls aren’t embarrassed at being exposed like that, although the blanket probably moved around. I didn’t feel sore, and I couldn’t really feel my legs. I knew that the doctors would give me meds to keep me numb down there, and it probably kept me comfy, not sore, as I woke up. It felt weird knowing that I’d be helpless for a few days, and crying not because I’m upset or sore, but crying uncontrollably because I felt like it. Dr. Beth came out and checked on me. She looked at my girl parts, she poked my toes, and then turned towards me. “Everything went well, Sally. You might not feel like going potty, but that’s what we expected. Is anything hurting?” She asked, as I looked at her. She just gave me more meds through the tube going into my arm. I got sleepier, but felt weird, so different meds than Aunt Cassie gives me. I tried to smile, but felt really weak. As I was laying there, still almost completely asleep, a couple of weird thoughts kept coming up. Why was I happy and comforted by my babygirl feelings, but scared, unable to move, and confused. Another thought occurred to me. Would it be easier for Katey to play bad baby with me? It’s more than me just making me a little bit sore and uncomfortable, but making me feel like I want to be able to throw tantrums, and fuss and not make it easy for Katey to do whatever she is going to do. I remember a few years ago, I had some sort of scary doctor thing, and a small cut in my tummy. I asked Katey to play bad baby with me, and liked throwing a temper tantrum, and not getting in trouble or having mommy make me go to sleep. Going to the doctor is scary, but going home is when I really get to be a babygirl, and forget about anything other than staying in diapers, and crying a lot.

Chapter 8: More Attention [Note: I've tried to make this part medical, but not so medical. Let me know what you think.] At the doctors office, Another young girl came in with her mom, the girl seemed 10 years old, but not quite as petite. I wondered if she was older, but small for her age. She was thickly diapered, and seemed quite comfy waiting for the nurses, with her mom holding her. What was surprising is she had a blanket exactly the same as some of the girls at daycare have. I wondered if she was one of the girls at daycare, only laying down for nap time, in the classroom. Haylee hinted that sometimes more than 4 girls lay down all day, in the classroom. Someone referred mommy to this doctor, as I hadn’t been there before. I got a glimpse that she had something stuck to her tummy, like a few of the other girls seem to. Was this something to do with the medical condition that made them need diapers? I wasn’t sure. It wasn’t long before I was brought into an exam room with a nurse. She checked my vitals, and asked my mommy about my meds, a few of the usual questions, and some embarrassing ones, how often I went potty, before being diapered all the time. She asked if I avoid pooping in the potty, or avoid pooping my diaper. She asked if I was embarrassed during diaper changes, if I squirmed when she cleaned my little girl parts. Probably the most embarrassing one was she asked my mommy if I asked to be babied again, or she decided I needed it. I turned red at that question. After that, the nurse put me on the exam table, and pushed around my tummy like Nurse Laura did at daycare. I squirmed for some of that. She rolled me on my tummy and looked at my back. After that, she had me slide towards the end of the exam table, and strapped my tummy and chest, just like a changing table. As the nurse, her name tag said Miya, checked me over. “Hi Maddy, I’m Miya, Can you relax your legs, so I can get you cleaned up and ready for the doctor. I’ll be gentle. Your mom said you might want to take a nap, so you can be a comfortable girl during the exam” Miya said, as if I was still in preschool. I wanted to cry, just from embarrassment. I positioned my legs so she could put them in the leg things, and then removed my diaper, and started wiping my little girl parts. To make it easier, she lowered the end of the exam table, and finished cleaning my bottom. As expected, she put some goopy gel in my bottom, and checked my temp. I squirmed and cried. Nurse Miya changed her gloves, before turning to my mommy, leaving me exposed on the table for the nurse, my mommy, and anybody else who peaks into the exam room. Her next comment surprised me. “I notice her vaginal area is red, has she been uncomfortable with the redness? A lot of older girls get diaper rash as they are getting used to being in diapers all the time. Diaper rash cream can be more uncomfortable than a minor rash. Does she complain if she gets a more severe rash?” Nurse Miya asked. “She didn’t seem uncomfortable, although she hasn’t had a severe rash from recently going to full-time diapers. She did have a severe rash last year when she was diapered for a vacation to my cousins cabin. She’s also had more severe rashes from staying in a wet pull-up at school, after accidents. The school nurse mentioned something about her not going to her office for a new pull-up.” Mommy explained. Nurse Miya continued to examine my girl parts, while examining me. “What about her daytime wetting accidents?” Nurse Miya asked, and I turned red, then started crying. It was kind of weird, that she wasn’t asking me any of these questions, but only asking my mom. “I think its a mixture. Some of the accidents are genuine, but some accidents are her not wanting to stop what she is doing, and go potty. I think some accidents are simply she didn’t want to go potty, and didn’t care if she wet her panties, sometimes a little wet, other times completely wet” Mommy explained. I felt I had to respond. “Umm… I couldn’t help it. Suddenly my bladder would feel weird, and hurt, and I’d go pee pee” I cried out. “Don’t worry Maddy, You can stay in diapers. I’m not upset” My mommy tried to comfort me. I so much wanted to throw a tantrum, because I didn’t feel like a big girl at the time. I was scared that the nurse would just give me a shot to make me settle down. Nurse Miya put a fresh diaper on me, and had mommy hold and cuddle me. Nurse Miya looked at my mommy, concerned that I was crying, and fussing. “Would you like a bottle to settle her down, with extra vitamins in it?” Nurse Miya offered before leaving the room for a few minutes. When she returned, My mommy fed me the bottle, and a few minutes later I was weak and sleepy. After settling down, Nurse Miya sat down with my mommy. “What are your plans for Maddy’s healthcare? School can really complicate things.” Nurse Miya inquired. I flooded my diaper on the spot. I knew what was coming. Mommy would mention daycare. “She’s been going to daycare, for special needs kids. They prefer to keep kids who aren’t potty training, in diapers. Keeping her on Klonopin worked out just fine. They do some babying of the kids if needed. My main concern is if she has a UTI, although if she remains incontinent, that wouldn’t be a major concern” Mommy continued. Something told me Nurse Miya understood, that my mommy was asking for toddler treatment. “In a few minutes, the doctor will be in to see her. Let us me know if you need anything. Maybe another bottle?” Nurse Miya offered. My mom nodded. Doctor’s orders: In a few minutes, it might have been longer, as I dozed off. I knew mommy was right there. Mommy held me tightly, and I soon realized mommy was feeding me another bottle, gently coaxing me to drink. The doctor soon walked in. “Hello Maddy, I’m Dr. Elliana. Are you being a good girl?” She asked, as I nodded in response. “Does it hurt anywhere? Does it hurt when you pee?” she asked, like doctors do. I shook my head, but I’m pretty sure the doctor was still concerned. I guess Nurse Miya spoke to the nurse. They didn’t think my answer was enough. “It hurt sometimes. But not now” I stammered, barely able to talk. Nurse Miya put me back down on the exam table, strapped back in. The doctor pressed on my tummy, bladder and a few other spots, before changing gloves and looking in my mouth. My diaper came off, and the doctor noticed how much I’d wet, in such a short time. “I can imagine why it’s hard to go potty, when you need meds for ADHD and anxiety. It’s good your mom is keeping you in diapers” Dr Elliana said, making me even more confused about my feelings. “I’m going to check your little girl parts, It shouldn’t hurt but you might be a little sore. Can you be a good girl for me?” Dr Elaina said, as Nurse Miya positioned my legs. It’s not comfortable when they make me keep my legs spread on the exam table. Dr Elliana was gentle, but for some reason, she poked me and it hurt, as she poked and pushed on my pee pee parts. “Miya, lets get some labs, and keep her sedated for the exam” The doctor order. I have mixed feelings when they want to make me sleepy. It makes me feel less scared, and scary things don’t make me cry, but I still get scared they’ll do something I’ll be mad about, like make my tummy hurt lots when I wake up. The nurse poked me in my arm, and a tube inserted so they could give me medicine. The nurse took a blood sample, but then it felt a little cold, as they gave me stuff through the tube, then something that made me only barely awake. The doctor examined my little girl parts more, then my bottom, and after that, she put a tube in my pee pee spot to get a pee sample. I felt a couple of small stings in my bottom, and then the doctor put more medicine up in my bottom. The nurse put a fresh diaper on me, again, but this one was thicker, but not as thick as my normal ones. Almost as soon as mommy went to cuddle me, after being unstrapped from the exam table, I felt a sudden feeling I needed to pee, and soaked my diaper. I don’t think I had less control from things done to my pee pee parts, but just that I was sleepy and weak, and the tube in my arm kept me wetting myself. I wasn’t sure how long mommy held me, but Nurse Miya had another bottle for my mommy to feed me. It still felt weird, wetting my diapers, while mommy holding me. The nurse put me back on the exam table to remove my diaper. After cleaning me, she rolled me on my tummy. I got scared and leaked on the changing table, felt a sting in my bottom. I cried a little, but it didn’t hurt much because of all the sleepy meds. After a fresh diaper was taped on, my mommy fed me one more bottle. I wanted to hug Nurse Miya and Dr. Elliana, because they seemed to want me comfortable and not sore and crying, while they examined me. My pee pee parts do hurt sometimes, but I’m too embarrassed to tell mommy. Time To Go Home: After mommy put me in a roller chair, and back to the car. Mommy noticed I was already wet when she strapped me in the car seat. I didn’t want to tell her, that I hoped she was satisfied with my sleepy, helpless condition, and a big babygirl. When we arrived home, mommy carried me inside, and put me on the couch while she prepared dinner for us. I was pretty sure I was still too weak and sleepy to sit at the dinner table. Mommy fed me cheese pudding, more bottles to drink, and then some cake, that was yummy. Bath, Bed And Babying: After dinner, Mommy bathed me like a baby, as I expected. Getting my little girl parts washed made me squirm. Dried and wrapped in a towel, and back to my room. Mommy put me on the changing table, checked my temp and put a suppository in my bottom. My diaper was quite thick, and once back in my bed, mommy fed me a bottle. I didn’t notice at first, but I was sucking my thumb a bit, and mommy put a pacifier in my mouth. I dozed off and woke later in the evening, crying and needing my diaper changed. Mommy came in, put my pacifier back in my mouth, then changed me. I was still feeling very weak, and barely awake. After changing, mommy fed another bottle, maybe two, before I went back to sleep. My dream that night was different, and strange. I was back at daycare, and Haylee was feeding me, and keeping an eye on me, then changing my diaper. While Haylee was changing me, another girl walked up and asked Haylee why I get spoon fed, and Haylee explained it was meds I was taking. This girl said she wanted her mommy to give her meds to make her a helpless baby, not just the diapers. She was actually jealous that Haylee was giving me so much attention. While laying in bed, I wondered if mommy had figured out what would make me feel special, and good little baby. I’m beginning to realize my mommy knew that I still wasn’t telling her how I feel about all the babying, and keeping my feelings secret. They can't make me talk.

Actually yes. Ooops!

Chapter 7: Just Another Day [Note: I tried not to go too far into medical details, but show a confused little girl. Feedback welcome] I woke up in the morning, after a few scary dreams, with a soaked and messy diaper. One of the dreams was about the daycare nurse gave me medicine to make me a doll for the teenage girls to play mommy, and I was unable to talk or move a muscle. I was completely helpless, and they commented that it takes a while for me to soak my diaper, and showed the other girl charts of feeding schedules. I wanted to be scared, but just couldn’t figure my feelings. Another weird dream was that I was going to the doctors, and being asked why I’m not wetting my diapers consistently. It was like the doctor considered it normal for a girl my age to completely soak her diaper every hour while awake, and usually be messy, so I could be a healthy little girl again. Mommy came in and picked me up, sitting on my bed, and fed me two bottles, likely with some meds in them because I got sleepy again before I’d finished the first bottle. It was then I kind of remembered mommy had a doctors appointment for me today. I panicked a bit, but the meds kept me from being too scared. Another Diaper Change: Mommy put me on the changing table, and did a thorough cleaning of my bottom and girl parts. I really find these long diaper changes embarrassing, and started sobbing. I even leaked onto the changing pad. Mommy finished cleaning me, and put a thicker night diaper on me, even though I would likely be changed after breakfast. One thing that scared me about how mommy was changing my diaper, is how normal and routine it felt. Was mommy planning on keeping me in a diapers for a long time? It sure seemed like it. I wasn’t looking forward to having the doctor or nurse take off my diaper for them to examine my little girl parts. They usually do scary things, uncomfortable things to me, and make me cry. What would they do if I leaked on the exam table. Would they get mad at me? Would they tell mommy I need diapers? Would they tell mommy to give me even more meds so I wet and mess my diapers without any control? The thought of all this made me cry uncontrollably, and mommy tried to comfort me, but I couldn’t tell her all this is scary. My Baby Breakfast: Mommy heated some apple oatmeal for me, and some bacon and eggs. I didn’t fuss too much as she spoon feed me, because the meds were making me feel sleepy, but I also felt weird, like I couldn’t find the words to talk beyond one word answers. It seemed like mommy chooses breakfasts that fill my tummy, so I can’t avoid messing my diaper. At least I didn’t get baby food this time, or make me wear a bib for breakfast. Mom had some toast, along with her bacon and eggs. I sat there, wanting to watch cartoons, although mom didn’t spend long eating her breakfast. It didn’t take long for me to realize my diaper was wet, but not messy. I squirmed, and I pushed, but I couldn’t go poopy in my diaper. I started crying, and mommy sat me down on the couch and fed me another bottle. I was even sleepier than I thought, and needed to be fed the bottle. After breakfast, mommy took me to the bathroom, and ran a bath for me. I just lay there and let her wash me, with special focus on my little girl parts. After drying me with a towel, she put me on the changing table, with some rash cream and powder, before my diaper went on. It seemed like I was red from being back in diapers and wetting all the time. Another Car Ride: Mommy had found another car seat, that strapped me in more tightly. I think mommy swapped seats last night, but I was too sleepy, too confused to notice. The seat did feel more comfortable, and easier to fall asleep, and I fell asleep almost as soon as mommy started driving. The ride to the doctors office took almost an hour in traffic, and I had some weird dreams after falling asleep. Should I ask the doctor to give me meds so I don’t dream as much, because I have scary dreams? I was confused. My dream was about being in school, and the teacher wanting someone for the school nurse to explain how they evaluate incontinence. She wanted me to sit on the table, facing the class, on the exam table, which was one of the foldout tables from her office. I had turned red from embarrassment, and felt I was going to collapse, and started crying. The nurse removed my diaper, then explained how they swab around little girl parts, including around my pee pee spot, and inside me. It wasn’t that it hurt, It was embarrassing beyond belief, but the school nurse didn’t care. Next she attached sensors around my girl parts, to record bladder activity, and then changed gloves to insert a tube, she said there was numbing gel, but when the catheter went in my bladder, It hurt me a lot. I wanted to cry, but I was scared the nurse would get annoyed, and make it hurt even more. The class seemed interested in seeing what the nurse was doing, and asked a few questions, that I couldn’t understand, while I sat there exposed and scared. After my diaper went back on, the nurse asked the class if anyone wanted to wear diapers. Nobody put their hand up. Even in my dream, she was annoyed and mean when I asked to have my diaper changed. I woke up from my scary dream with a soaked diaper, and I sweated heavily during my nightmare, so I was wet all over. Going back to my old school in diapers, with the mean school nurse working at least once a week, made me scared. Mommy pulled over to check on me, which is something that makes me scared because sometimes she gets mad, or is annoyed but doesn’t say anything. “Are you okay, Sweetie?” She asked, with a concerned tone. “Umm… I had nightmare about school being scary” I sobbed. “Well, I’ll tell the doctor about the nightmares, and you probably won’t be going back to your old school.” Mommy tried to reassure me. She handed me another bottle, that I was barely able to hold on my own, but started drinking. I had just finished that bottle, when I felt really weak, and barely awake. We soon arrived at the doctors office parking lot. Sitting in my car seat, I couldn’t explain my weird feelings. Mommy making me so sleepy for my doctors appointment, was something I wanted, because of some of the scary things doctors do. I wanted to thank her for giving me the meds before the appointment, but I couldn’t talk. Mommy opened my window, then went and grabbed a stroller like chair from the doctors office. I felt helpless as mommy put me in the chair, and we went straight in. A nurse pulled off my jacket, and checked my pulse and stuff. She tried to check my temp in my ear, but the thermometer didn’t work. In The Waiting Room: There were some mothers and their kids in the waiting room. Most of the older kids seemed to be wearing normal underwear, but some of the older girls, probably around my age, had thick diapers on. I’m pretty sure this doctor specializes in medical care for girls my age, as I rarely see any boys, older than 2 or 3 at this doctors office. One of the nurses came out and handed the mother of one of the girls a bag of diapers. I didn’t think she had a diaper on at first, but she probably did. The girl seemed like any other girl, except she showed no embarrassment about the bag of diapers. Another younger girl finished her appointment, carried by her mom. She looked about 7 or 8 and seemed like she’d been crying earlier. Her comment was kind of weirdly scary, and surprising. “Mommy, Thanks for making me a diaper girl. No more potty for me!” She said in a strangely cheerful voice. It made no sense, but at least she was happy. We sat in the chairs, with mommy holding me. I was too sleepy, too weak and too confused to walk on my own. My mommy didn’t seem to mind, but I was sucking my thumb. She sometimes cleaned my hands with hand sanitizer, but used regular wipes earlier. One of the older girls, she looked about 7, I saw her t-shirt go up briefly as her mom put her in one of the stroller chairs. She had a thick diaper and some sticky thing on her tummy. One of the girls at daycare had a sticky thing. The girl commented that she’s not getting sick anymore, but always wetting her diaper. The mother replied that she’s been good at checking her levels. I wondered if I should ask the doctor what they mean by ‘levels’ because it confused me so much. Tantrum Time: A girl, probably 9 or 10, was squirming, kicking, and crying, as she arrived with her mom carried her. She clearly didn’t like visiting the doctor. The nurse directed her mom straight to the exam room, and she was strapped down firmly. I felt sorry for her, partly because her mom wasn’t able to comfort her. After a few minutes, she yelped then settled down a bit, so the nurse probably gave her a shot to make her sleepy. The nurse removed her diaper, and cleaned her, but she still wasn’t happy, as the nurse went to finish cleaning her, and examine her. “Patient is a 9 year old, with non-verbal autism, incontinent since birth, possible abdominal pain” The nurse called out, as the doctor came in. “Lets wait for the sedative to take effect before we examine her” The doctor instructed. At least they wanted her to be comfortable, with whatever they had planned. From my seat, I got a gimps of what the nurse was doing. It looked like they did a few things around her little girl parts, like swabs, before inserting a catheter. The doctor examined her little girl parts more, and her bottom. I think I’d rather be asleep for all this if it was me, but couldn’t stop watching as they examined her. As she apparently had a tummy ache, they rubbed a wand over her tummy, as if they were looking inside. The girl seemed comfortably sound asleep. After the wand exam, and pushing around her tummy, the nurse diapered her, and let her sleep, with a blanket over her. It was weird watching somebody else get all the medical attention, knowing she won’t be a big girl when she wakes up. I would be scared if they did that to me, and I was hoping mommy wouldn’t control my tantrums with even stronger meds, or the doctor even giving me sleeping gas through a mask, as that would be really scary. The thing that made me feel so weird, was that I couldn’t make sense of my feelings about daycare. If I kept going to daycare, I’d need diapers and would be treated like a big baby, even if I didn’t want that. I could actually start feeling like a baby and actually want the babygirl treatment, and need daycare type babying, but mommy would think it was weird, If I told her what I wanted to help me feel like a babygirl. Even with all the meds they give me. It’s still my secret for now.

Is there any interest in an roleplay involving medical regression and/or forced regression? I'd be a doctor, and someone can be a young girl, and maybe someone also play a nurse

Chapter 4: Planning And Tutoring The idea of arranging a playdate for Mikela and her friends, seemed weird at first, but her parents seemed to think it was a good idea. I made some calls to my nurse friend, who works at a daycare for kids with head injuries. Head injuries often result in issues with specific difficulties, like remembering names of shapes, or something like that. When I asked Mikela about inviting a new friend for a playdate. I suspect Mikela wouldn’t want me actually calling it a playdate. I thought of Liv, but her schedule didn’t seem to match up. A different pediatric nurse, that used to work with Dr. Jack, called me to offer me another girl to tutor, Sadie who is 11 and has brain injuries and spinal injuries. She quite comfortable with needing to wear diapers, and was also a bedwetter until around 6 years old. Apparently the pandemic, and actually having CoVid-19, disrupted her rehabilitation. Biology is her favorite subject. One minor detail about Sadie, is she sometimes asks her parents to give her toddler treatment, other times is more like an 11 year old still in diapers. For some girls, they have good days, and bad days, and often are not able to tell their moms how they feel. A lot of parents expect their kids to get back to ‘normal’ after traumatic injuries, or major illness, but that is not possible, both because of physical limitations, or they are traumatized by the accident itself, or the hospital experience itself. When kids regress when they’ve been in hospital for days or weeks, It’s often hard for the parents to understand why their kid has the emotionally maturity of a toddler. Ironic Request: One family a few blocks over, wanted me to tutor their kid, but I quickly refused as their 11 year old daughter, and 12 year old son, both seemed entitled and snotty. I can usually tell when somebody asks how good I am at writing essays and completing assignments, they are basically asking if I can do the homework for their kid. What made it funny was the way they asked what my rates are, and then commented that being rich means they can afford the best for their kids. Considering the clothing labels I buy and then go unnoticed, makes it pretty obvious they are not really a part of high society. Uninvolved parents annoy me, doubly so if they brag how rich they are. Another of the strange request was a family who’s dad works as an executive at a healthcare company. Through a twist of fate, I worked with their CEO at a smaller company, writing whitepapers on contract for them. This family put up all the warning signs of not really caring about their kids education, because they are so rich. If they want a full-time nanny, go hire one to parent their kids for them. I’m financially secure enough, that even through the unemployment crisis post-pandemic, I didn’t actually have to work, but tried not tell people. I’ve been offered jobs as a full-time nanny, and I politely refuse. Sadie’s Fears: After Sadie spent a month in hospital, recovering from CoVid-19 and trying to learn to walk properly, she developed a strong interest in learning about biology related topics, especially viruses, and also has severe anxiety and germophobia. Sadie prefers her mom or school nurse to change her, and often asks her mom to bath her, due to her germophobia. At least I can usually answer her questions. One issue for her is that she sometimes won’t submit her homework if its not perfect. Another issue is that Sadie doesn’t like leaving her room, and doesn’t like leaving her house. Sadie rarely goes to school for classroom lessons, although her middle-school conducts classes and homework study online. Even before she was injured, she didn’t like going to school and her anxiety at school created challenges. After hit by a car crossing the road and critically injured made her not want to leave her house at all, and I can’t really blame her. Worse still, she was only home for a few weeks before she caught the CoVid-19 virus and back to the hospital. Sadie’s parents said she could host a playdate at her house. They would prefer that I were available to help supervise, and maybe help tutor them with their homework. I agreed to tutor Sadie and met her mom at a cafe near her house. After tutoring Sadie online a few times, she asked if I could tutor her at her house. Part of the reason was their normal babysitter was on vacation, and her mom had an in-person office meeting scheduled and errands to complete. I reluctantly agreed, because I don’t like leaving my apartment either. They did ask if I was comfortable changing Sadie if necessary, which wasn’t a problem. More Tutoring For Liv: Thursday came around for my planned tutoring session with Liv. I put on my designer pantsuit, my face cover, and my usual bags. My everyday backpack with my laptop and a few books, a few spare diapers and things like that. I have a second carry bag, which is more business style, that I put my tablet, and any papers I’ll need. It’s big enough to fit my laptop as well. I drove over to Liv’s house. I’m amazed how many cars have such advanced technology they can drive themselves. Most days, after pulling out of the parking garage, I let the car do the driving for me. I really don’t like city driving, but I have a car, and it’s spotlessly clean. When I arrived at her house, her mom opened the door for me, and then Liv soon appeared from her room and was soon in front of me. She wanted to give me a hug, but paused for a moment, before I nodded, and I hugged her. Since the pandemic, It’s kind of customary not to hug even close friends, or family, unless the person nods, or wants a hug. Even young kids usually do this. Liv had diaper on that was quite thick, as her mom wanted her diapered for her study session. I didn’t ask if she was wet, or check her diaper myself. We started going over her geography homework, and it was clear she didn’t didn’t understand the textbook. I think she has trouble following her teacher, when her teacher is explaining whats in the textbook. If I let her read, wait a moment, then explain things, It’s easier for her to understand. When we took a break after almost an hour, and went to the kitchen, Liv drank some of the orange juice her mom had prepared. I had brought a few cans of coke, although her mother doesn’t want her drinking coke in the afternoon or evening. I also found a cookie for Liv, and I had a cookie too. I resisted the temptation to check her diaper, and instead waited for her to ask. Seeing her in a diaper, presumably wet, made me smile. A lot of parents get upset when kids wet themselves, which usually makes things worse. Liv still seemed embarrassed about wearing a diaper around others. Liv and I spent more time working through math problems, she often had trouble understanding what the teacher was saying, and needed it explained several times. After another 45 minutes, she seemed hungry, but it wasn’t time for dinner yet. Her mother had prepared several sandwiches for us, and she seemed to enjoy eating them. Changing Liv: Another half hour of math homework, that consisted of re-checking her homework from last week. She seemed like she was getting anxious, and ready to settle down and have dinner. She hadn’t mentioned her diaper being wet. “Liv, do you me to check something?” I asked, without saying diaper. “Umm.. Kay” and seemed like she lay down, while I changed gloves. One reason why I wear actual surgical gloves, not the cheap ones, is they work better with touch screens. Liv wasn’t surprised I wore gloves most of the time. She often wears gloves, even around the house. I noticed a pack of disposable underpads, so I placed one on the bed, and she laid down, so I could check her diaper. She was definitely wet enough to be uncomfortable, and I found a pack of thick night diapers. “Do you want these ones?” I asked, trying to avoid embarrassing her. She nodded, and I proceeded to change her. I was trying to avoid taking too long, but wanted to be thorough cleaning her. She did get flustered, but stayed reasonably still. I applied a little powder, then taped on the fresh diaper. After I cleaned my hands with sanitizer, and new gloves, she smiled slightly, and gave me a hug. I think she was glad I was nice about changing her diaper. “Umm… Mommy doesn’t understand me” She said, seeming a little sad. “You’d be surprised. A lot of things changed the last few years. Did you feel okay with not taking potty breaks so much, doing homework?” I asked, trying to see how Liv felt about putting on a diaper for tutoring sessions. “I’m supposed to try to go potty with a pull-up on, but when I focus on something like homework, I forget to go potty.” She replied, still seeming upset. “What would you prefer?” I asked, leaving Liv a choice. “I don’t want to wear diapers all the time. I want to have the choice, but It’s too embarrassing to just put a diaper on, or ask mommy to diaper me. Why does mommy want me to be ‘normal’?” She asked, while trying to explain her feelings. “Well, I don’t think she wants you to be ‘normal’. I sometimes wear a T-Shirt which says ‘Normal is overrated’ for a reason. Don’t feel like you have to be someone different” I replied, comforting and reassuring her. It seems like Liv isn’t quite ready to give up being a big girl. I excused myself to the bathroom, and noticed my pull-up was wet, so after using the toilet, I changed into a fresh one. Dinner Time: For dinner, I heated up a couple of microwave dinners, for both Liv and I, which see seemed to enjoy. I had a large serving of German chocolate cake from the bakery near my house, which I share with Liv, along with some icecream. Loading the dishwasher didn’t take very long. I did notice that she was drinking juice during dinner, but I didn’t say anything. While watching a show on Discovery channel, some reality TV show that was not really that interesting, but helped Liv relax. I noticed she suddenly seemed awkward and anxious. “Liv, do you need something?” I asked, concerned. “Umm… I feel weird, but…” Liv replied, barely getting the words out. “Something you need help with?” I asked, trying to figure it out. “I need to go potty soon, but I’d need a new diaper. Mommy would be mad if I got changed after dinner, without a bath… but ..” Liv replied. “Your mom told me that you can use as many diapers as you need, as long as they are soaked, or really wet, or messy. You don’t have to bath now.” I responded, still a little confused, then I remembered her mom baths her. “Umm.. Kay.. Can you use the wet wipes, and put me in my pajamas?” She asked, still not settling down. Bath Time: “Are you comfortable with me bathing you?” I asked, suspecting her anxiety and germophobia might be a factor. “I’d like that, but only if you want to bath me. I feel like a baby when I need to be bathed, but I hate germs and stuff. I don’t want to get sick again.” She replied, and I nodded, and directed her to the bathroom. I put a plastic apron on for bathing her. It didn’t take me long to organize the bath supplies, remove her diaper, and start filling the bath. I quickly cleaned her, before she sat on the toilet, and I left the bathroom. She wore gloves when she sat on the toilet. She seemed okay for about 10 minutes, then I heard crying, and came back to the bathroom. “Liv.. It’s okay. I can help get you cleaned up” I reassured her. “I just feel so weird.. I can’t do anything.. I’m a big baby” She cried. “I can help you. Lets get you cleaned up, and in the bath” I responded, before helping her onto the changing pad, so I could clean her bottom. She did seem rather embarrassed when I took off her top, and then even more so when I cleaned her little girl parts. After her bath, I dried her and followed her to her room. Once in her room, the first step was to put a top on her, then place a disposable pad the bed, and have her lay down. I made sure her little girl parts were dry, before applying rash cream, changing my gloves, and a fresh night diaper. She stood up so I could put her pajamas on. Night Time: Liv usually had warm milk before bed, along with her night meds. She fell asleep soon after, and I went outside to the couch and waited for Maryanne to return. After she returned, she checked her daughter and in just over an hour of sleep, Liv had already wet her diaper. It seems like Liv would like to regress and be treated like baby, but is too embarrassed and too confused to actually tell her mom how she feels.

Chapter 6: Important work I woke up with a soaked diaper, and mom let me take off my diaper, and had a shower, without fussing or drama. Mom didn’t seem surprised, although I was sad and embarrassed. Even though my mom gets paid well, she works long hours. It’s been good having her work from home more. I’m not exactly sure what she does, but it's fairly important. I think she is the assistant to some boss of the company. After mom made me breakfast. Cereal, sausages, toast. It was okay, but I wasn’t that hungry. The vitamins and pills in the morning surprised me, as I was sure the number was increasing. One thing that I’ve noticed lately, is my mom has been checking my measurements, as if she is ordering clothes or something for me. She has me lay on the couch, so she could check my measurements. Mom seemed preoccupied by her work, as sat on the couch watching TV. I was hungry, so I asked mom if I can have a breakfast roll. “Mom, Can I have a breakfast roll? I’m hungry” I asked. “Yes you may heat up a breakfast roll in the microwave, remember 3 minutes in the microwave” Mommy replied. “Got it! Thanks mom” I replied, before going to the kitchen. One thing is that I have trouble grabbing things from top shelves, and even the freezer is a little hard for me to reach things. After heating the breakfast roll in the microwave, I sat down and realized it was still too hot to eat. I hadn’t finished drinking my cup of milk. Mom has insisted I drink PediaSure milk in the morning for as long as I can remember, or at least after she swapped from giving me formula to drink as an older toddler. After waiting for my roll to cool down, I started eating it, and drinking my milk. I soon finished my breakfast, rinsed my dishes and placed them in the dishwasher. As I did that, my bladder let me know I needed to go to the bathroom. I made it the bathroom, with my panties still dry. More Schoolwork: The next few hours spent going over some schoolwork, and a video chat lesson, on some book we’re reading. I find schoolwork boring, especially with video chats, and online lessons with just a workbook. I ask my mom for help with my schoolwork, and she does if she has time. Even before the restrictions, mom had considered having someone come over and tutor me. Having a tutor would be frustrating because I get upset, if I can’t figure something out, and the teacher is focused on me. When I was in 3rd grade, I actually wet my pull-up when I got scared, because the teacher asked me a question, expecting me to get up and point out something on the map. I had wet my pull-up before I got any urge to go potty.. Why does school have to be so embarrassing? Lunch Time With Mom: Mom decided to make grilled cheese sandwiches which tasted pretty good. I wasn’t sure why she did that, as she seems so busy. maybe she just wanted to take a longer break, and decided to cook lunch. She also made milkshakes for us to drink during lunch. After getting part way through her meal, she seemed to notice I was upset about something. “Kels, How did your studying go?” Mom asked, but I was not sure how to respond. It’s as if mom already knows the answer. My mom has started calling me Kels, which is what she called me when I was little. I don’t like my friends calling me Kels, but they do sometimes. “Okay, I guess. The teacher had tech issues, and a few students went offline during class.” I replied, hoping mom would be satisfied. “Do you have lessons this afternoon? You seem tired” Mom asked. “Mom, I don’t need a nap. I’m not a baby!” I said firmly. “Well, after you finish eating your lunch, you can watch cartoons if you’d like, before you start your homework and studies.” Mom responded. I guessed she still had work to do, so wanted to focus on that, and not me. A few minutes later, I finished my lunch, and mom offered me more milkshake but I was already full. After placing my dishes in the dishwasher, I returned to my room to watch cartoons, with my milkshake to drink and enjoy. My Afternoon: Although I didn’t want to have an afternoon nap like a little girl, after about an hour I dozed off, with my tablet playing cartoons. When I awoke, I was surprised I didn’t wet myself, or need to use the bathroom urgently. One reason why I don’t like to nap in the afternoon is that I’ve wet myself while napping. Mom doesn’t usually make me wear diapers or pull-ups when she sees me doze off in the afternoon. I probably spent another hour or two doing my homework. Mom came in a few times to check on me, and answer a few questions. I wanted to get my homework sorted out, before mom goes out to her dinner with some people she used to work with, at another job. Mom’s Meeting: At around 5, my mom called me to dinner. She made a really tasty lasagna, which I enjoyed. It did make me thirsty, and as expected, mom mixed up some juice for us. It was almost as if mom was being too nice. I guess she wanted me in a good mood for Molly, mom’s new favorite babysitter. I can’t figure out why mom has so many outside dinner meetings, instead of video meetings. I think it’s more than just the food. Maybe she is trying to get a promotion at work, but I get upset when I have a babysitter. Maybe I should invite friends over and have my own ‘meeting’, but I’d be scared my friends would tease me about needing to wear diapers at night. Does mom think some of my friends wear diapers at home? My friend Reya didn’t mind wearing diapers in kindergarten, and she wore pull-ups until 3rd grade. After being lost in thought, mom told me to have a shower and get ready for night time. I was able to pee in the bathroom before my shower, and I tried again afterwards, peeing a little more. I was hoping to poop in the toilet, wasn’t able. I walked back to my room, with my towel wrapped around me.

One big issue with girls who have serious injuries, especially spinal injuries, is that not much really is expected of her, and she was sent from one foster home to another, without fitting in. As for her seizure disorder, she doesn't really want to 'get better' but would rather stay a baygirl. The thing is that it's hard for her to tell her foster mom or group home nurse that further babygirl treatments and regression is what she wants.

Chapter 6: Little Expectations [Note: This chapter deals with Maddy's feelings after being at daycare. Let me know what ya'll think.] When mommy came to pick me up from the daycare, Nurse Laura commented that I basically behaved, and seemed to adjusting as expected to the daycare routine. Another mother picked up Sophia, the girl who was laying down near me in the afternoon. I thought it was strange that Nurse Laura commented that she soaked her diaper 4 times, with two diaper changes because of bowel movements, and her mom seemed happy with the news, like it was an achievement to need more diaper changes during the day and evening. After Sophia left with her mommy, My mommy wanted me on the couch, so she could hold me while Nurse Laura discussed my day. “So did Maddy have fun today?” Mommy asked, as if I was a toddler. I nodded. I felt conflicted, because I liked how Haylee patiently played games with me, but if mommy keeps sending me to daycare, I’ll loose my potty skills, and have to wear diapers for a long time. “She’s still on orientation, so that limited her play activities. She seemed okay with lunch and sippy drinks regularly, but I think she could do with more frequent sippy drinks. Her 3 diaper changes went as expected. Any concerns with how things are progressing?” Nurse Laura responded, although I didn’t feel like saying anything, but get uncomfortable with these conversations. “I have a doctor visit for her, scheduled for tomorrow. Is there anything you recommend I should do to prepare her or help comfort her?” Mommy asked. That is the thing I’ve been dreading, going to the doctors. “Well, the Klonopin and other meds should keep her from getting too anxious. I emailed you the medical checklist and medication suggestions for the doctor and staff nurse. Did they ask you to stop giving her food after a certain time, or only clear liquids, or prep formula to clean her system?” Nurse Laura asked. “Not really. The nurse did say don’t give her medication or suppositories rectally, if she hasn’t emptied her bowels, so the doctor can examine her rectum and determine her treatment needs. I’ll definitely diaper her for the appointment, as it seems like she needs the protection” Mommy replied. I don’t like getting suppositories in my bottom, and I sometimes throw a tantrum. “Sounds like a plan. Will she return here the day after?” Nurse Laura asked, trying to confirm. Mommy doesn’t really explain my doctor visits, only that I should settle down, let her diaper me, and be a good girl. “Yes. How sedated can she be, for daycare?” Mommy asked, and I kind of groaned at mommy question. The meds they gave me, pretty much made me unable to do much except lay on the bed. “As long as she has some awake periods, we’re okay with it. We sometimes get parents drop off their kids after med changes, because they need the extra care due to unable to do self-care activities properly. Diapers are needed, in these cases.” Nurse Laura explained. I was sobbing quietly at this.. “Good. I’ve been tried to avoid giving her shots, but need her comfortable and she really doesn’t like going to the doctors” Mommy explained. Shots are really scary for me, and I squirmed in my mommy’s arms. “Okay, see you on Friday” Nurse Laura replied. I knew mommy would carry me, but I was surprised she didn’t prompt me to say anything to Nurse Laura. “Thanks for everything, Laura, good night, mommy responded before carrying me to the car. I wanted to burst into tears, and throw a tantrum, but I kept feeling too sleepy. Mommy strapped me into my car seat, and we drove home. I wet a few times on the way home, but didn’t say anything to mommy. Strange Dreams: It didn’t take long for me to fall asleep in the car, and start dreaming about something. It was probably my daycare experience in the day, and my wet diaper, but my dream went straight to something related. This time I was back at school, probably in first grade, and every single girl was wearing a diaper. The teaching assistant actually checked a girl, as she returned to class, to ensure she had a diaper on, and if it was wet or messy, with the girl standing up. The teacher went on with her lesson, on the different types of plants, or something. This lesson went on for a while, and I felt a slight feeling that I might need to use the bathroom, which went away, then an urgent feeling that I needed to go potty, and then felt the warmth of a wet diaper. I overheard one of the girls say how unfair it was that the first grade was made to wear diapers, just because the bathroom near our classroom is being renovated. Another girl said that her mom agreed to this because her mom didn’t want her to grow up too fast. Another girl said that potty breaks would take too long. A few girls seemed to be asking their friends if they had wet their diapers, and when one girl said she hadn’t they all got worried. The rule seemed to be each table had to have everyone wet enough to need changing, or they’d be made to wait until the next break to be changed. From our table, we could see the teaching assistants and nurses changing the girls, each table of 6 at a time, on the fold-up changing tables. From some of the tables, we had a clear view of the girls being wiped in their little girl parts. Because some girls were messy, and others just wet. Some girls were left laying there, exposed until the other girls were cleaned up. Seeing girls cry because of the embarrassing diaper changes in front of everyone in the class, made me start crying noticably. One of the girls at my table asked us if we pooped or just wet our diapers. One girl said she had to poop, but was trying not to go in her diaper. Another girl was already messy. One girl was dry, but shifting in her chair, as if she had to go potty. Another girl nudged her to hurry up and wet her diaper. When it was my turn to be up on the changing table, the nurse put a suppository in my bottom after removing my wet diaper, causing me to cry uncontrollably, then left me laying there exposed with my legs spread out for at least a few minutes, while she cleaned up the messy girl. I kept crying as the nurse taped on my diaper, and told me to drink more vitamin drink during class. I woke up from my nightmare, crying and wet, still in the car. Almost Home: My mommy heard me crying, and pulled over. I felt scared and really confused. “Maddy, Are you feeling okay?” mommy asked, predictably. “Umm… I had a nightmare, and wet my diaper lots so you wouldn’t be mad at me for not being a good babygirl” I replied, crying and sobbing, and sucking my thumb. I’ve sucked my thumb before, on and off for weeks at a time. Mommy has suggested before that she might give me a pacifier, for night times. She had a strange look on her face, and my confusion continued. “Oh Maddy, I want you to feel good about wearing diapers. What made you think I’d be mad at you for not wetting enough?” Mommy asked, quite confused. “Umm… Nurse Laura told you I needed to drink more sippy at daycare. I was sleepy and didn’t try and hold my pee pee, just wet my diaper. I thought I was being a good girl. I have scary dreams about not wetting my diaper enough for the nurses at school. I sorry mommy.” I said, sobbing even more. “Princess… I won’t be mad at you if you stay dry. That’s silly. I just want you to be healthy, and just let mommy help you settle into a little girl routine, and not worry about being a big girl for a while” Mommy replied. “Umm… I confused. Are you going to check my diaper, so you know I’ve been a good girl?” I asked. I’m not sure why the meds make me worry about silly stuff, and not focus on what I’m supposed to. Mommy checked my diaper, by squeezing the front, and smiled. “We’re almost home, I’ll change my wet little girl soon” Mommy replied, and I tried to be a good girl for the rest of the drive home. Once we got home, mommy handed me a sippy drink. I didn’t get a bath, but she did change me again, and put me to bed. Part of me wants mommy to just tell the doctor and daycare nurses to give me all the meds and little girl treatments, so I’m the big baby they expect. I still find asking mommy to do baby things like bottles, pacifiers and spoon feedings still feels weird to me. I don’t want to be a big baby, but I’m confused all the time about being a big girl.

Chapter 3: Differing Requests [Author’s note: This chapter deals with future plans and character development. Planning for more medical themes and regression, but balancing the feelings of the characters. As always, feedback welcome, so let me know what ya'll think] One of my babysitting clients called me with an unusual request. Her daughter had started wetting the bed again, and the mother thinks she’s either being lazy or did it deliberately. She also wet her panties during a temper tantrum. Olivia, or Liv, is 8 and has issues with understanding what her parents and teachers are saying, if they don’t slow down for her. She also doesn’t do well in a noisy classroom. Another issue is she has trouble understanding what she’s reading, especially fiction books. When she reads textbooks, or science information online, she’s okay. Her anxiety doesn’t help things at school. She wore pull-ups to school, but her mom didn’t want her getting lazy at home, after the restrictions started. I tried to help her with her reading books, but she also needed some help with math and science schoolwork. Her parents assumed she had a reading issue, not a comprehension issue, and so the tutors frustrated her. She sometimes burst into tears out of frustration. With younger kids, I can usually tutor most subjects. Because Liv often had homework questions, she’d message me and if I had time to respond, I would. If I was busy, I’d try and get back to her the same day. Her mother isn’t always able to answer her math and science questions. The young lady who would tutor her, had some sort of flu that turned into pneumonia, and wasn’t available. Her mom, Maryanne, asked me to tutor her again, although mainly online. Not A Toddler: Because I work with younger children as a tutor, and sometimes babysitter, I get to see how they behave, and how they interact with their parents. Last time I visited their home, they had her cousin, Gemma, who was 3 1/2 at the time and still in diapers, staying with them for a few weeks. It seemed like Liv was not getting enough attention, and was acting out a bit. Her mom did put her in pull-ups after a few accidents. Her bedwetting and need for diapers varied depending on her mood. Her mom took her to the doctors a few weeks ago, wearing a diaper, because like more than a few girls since the pandemic, she doesn’t like using public bathrooms, and often throws tantrums, or wets herself. It was a cold day, and when asked if she wanted to use the potty before they left home, she said she didn’t need to. Her mom changed her into a diaper just in case, because her pull-up might not be enough and leak, if she has a full bladder. One thing I noticed about putting kids in a diaper, when they see the doctor for bedwetting or day accidents, the doctor takes it more seriously. My mom did this for some of my doctor visits, even before the various injuries, and was frustrated by my bedwetting and a few day accidents.. The doctor examined me, including my girl parts, and put a catheter in for a urine sample. Of course, The doctor wanted to give me some shots, because I had to get them before going to gymnastics meets. After all the fuss about my wetting issues, and gymnastics meets, the funny part was half the girls wore pull-ups on the 1 1/2 hour bus ride. Even older girls wear a pad under their gymnastics leotards, because leaking pee is somewhat common. Liv’s pediatrician probably poked and probed her little girl parts, including a catheter and at least one shot, because the last flu strain was bad, and this year’s flu seems just as bad. Since the pandemic, a lot of parents make sure their kids are up-to-date on their vaccinations. It seems Liv wasn’t happy about her visit to the doctors office, and spent a few days sulking. The doctor wasn’t sure what was causing her issues, as everything came back normal. Mom’s Dilemma: After Liv's experience with the doctors, and her wetting accidents continuing, her mother, Maryanne, had a question I wasn’t expecting. Do some kids regress, and how to handle it? Apparently, Liv was put in diapers for a few days after her doctor visit, and except for her not wanting to poop in her her diaper, she didn't seem to fuss too much about being diapered, or wetting her diaper. Her mother was somewhat confused because when she wanted Liv in pull-ups again, Liv seemed surprised. When dealing with behavioral issues in kids, especially involving regression and diapers, It shouldn’t be considered as a punishment, but something that the kid finds comforting. This is especially since regression treatments can be quite uncomfortable at times. During my hospital stays, the nurses babied me because I had injuries that required me to stay in my bed, and often have everything done for me. Even though I had a lot of diaper changes, when the doctors and nurses examined my girl parts, I found it embarrassing, uncomfortable and upsetting. Maryanne doesn’t really know that much about my past, only that I wear a pull-up or sometimes a diaper, that I’m a qualified nurse, and come highly recommended as a tutor and babysitter. I’m also an expert diaper changer and Liv has asked her mom to ask me to diaper her after ‘accidents’, and I have a few times. I was surprised that Maryanne wanted her daughter to be treated like a baby, and more importantly. feel like a baby. It’s an open secret that doctors and nurses know a few ways to encourage a young kid to use their diapers, and even regress to become a big toddler, and not as a kid their age. Maryanne wanted her to become diaper dependent if possible, only she was not sure how long it would take Liv to forget about her potty training, even if not actually incontinent. My response was that I’d want to see how Liv feels about being babied, because I don’t think its right to force baby treatment on her. It’s almost a given that Liv wont enjoy receiving all the treatments to help her become a babygirl, but I want her to choose and accept the overall babying. The other big concern is that I don’t want Liv to hate me, because it would hurt her schoolwork, as she needs tutoring. Diaper Plans: Liv knows I’m a qualified nurse, but her mom made a deal with Liv, and I was okay with this plan. If Liv wanted me to come over for tutoring and babysit her until her mom got home, she had to wear a diaper during the session. She was confused, but strangely embarrassed by her mom’s offer. She couldn’t understand why her mom wanted her back in diapers for tutoring. Even for my previous tutoring, she sometimes got distracted by a sudden need to go potty, after saying she didn’t need to go 10 minutes earlier. She reluctantly agreed to her mom’s request. I was scheduled to come over on Thursday afternoon, as her mom had to leave for a client meeting later in the afternoon. After Maryanne made her babying plans for Liv, and partly in response to her seemingly not wanting to go potty shortly before some accidents, her mom stopped limiting her liquids in the afternoon and at dinner. If she wet her pull-up during the day, her mom would ask if she wanted a diaper, especially later in the afternoon. It was strange that she’d be embarrassed when her mom diapered her and upset at accidents, but expect a diaper after a wet pull-up. Also stopping the rule of limiting her afternoon drinks, resulted in a few more wet diapers. It is true that dehydration during the day can make bedwetting worse, and its recommended to give more fluids to a diapered child, as some will avoid drinking so they won’t wet their diapers as much. My Tutoring And Work Schedule: Considering my Thursday plans with Liv in my calendar, and Mikela needing tutoring as well, I was a very busy young lady. I’m thankful my corporate clients for whitepapers are on a flexible schedule. On top of that I’m still studying nursing and healthcare management. The thing was that recently, when discussing my career goals with one of my professors, she suggested I take classes on teaching methods. I didn’t want to give her a snarky answer like ‘be good at changing diapers of older kids’ but I honestly did wonder if my career was headed towards teaching. Being an elementary or middle school teacher is challenging, and it isn’t easy to stay ahead on all the subjects they are required to teach. With tutoring, I can focus on the subjects I’m knowledgeable on, and avoid things I’m not so good at. Being a preschool teacher is a different set of challenges. Often parents want their preschooler to do extra studies, because they are ‘gifted’ and convincing them that pushing preschoolers to study hard, doesn’t achieve results. Daycare Experience: There was one girl at a daycare I worked at part-time last year, before flu stopped me, who was 6 at the time and had a pushy mother. After this young girl, Bella, had a few accidents, and after more discussions, the teaching staff and I came up with a plan. If her mom want her to focus on her studies, and limit her potty breaks, although we didn’t actually limit her potty breaks, but her mom did at home, then we would put her in a diaper for study time. Surprisingly, Her mother agreed with this, even though Bella wore pull-ups to school, and after school tutoring, when she wasn’t at daycare. Bella didn’t mind wearing a diaper at this daycare, as she wasn’t the only 6 year old girl still wearing diapers. I didn’t know if I should laugh or be concerned when her mom said she has started violin lessons again, and Bella asked her mom if she should wear a diaper to the lessons, as well as study time. Her regular school doesn’t like kindergarten kids to wear diapers, but allows pull-ups. In first grade, there isn’t a teaching assistant to change diapers, and the nurse does in her office. Her mother called me for tutoring, but since her primary subject was learning languages, I referred them to someone more suitable. After leaving that daycare job due to my bad flu keeping me out, I kept in touch. I later heard the daycare adopted my suggestion of putting kids back in diapers for longer study times, or for all of daycare and nights. It made a lot of parents reconsider being so pushy with kids to study too much at a young age. The director called me recently, and asked if I could come in part-time, but I really didn’t have time. They offered a reasonable pay, as they preferred someone with healthcare experience. The pandemic made a lot of schools and daycare providers reconsider keeping actual nurses and healthcare workers on staff. Before the pandemic, most school nurses either had a first air certificate, or were nursing assistants. After the pandemic, when schools reopened, the nurses were usually RNs or sometimes BS-N and MS-N educated nurses. I’ll probably just get the Healthcare Admin degree, although I still consider if I should go for enough credits for a BS-N degree. Another daycare I used to work at, asked me to return so I could teach staff about hygiene and proper procedure for changing diapers. This might seem obvious, but after the pandemic, daycare providers were more careful on how they change diapers, and other hygiene considerations. On top of that, a lot more kids became germophobic. I really do have therapy for germophobia, mainly over video these days. Some type of preschools try different methods of teaching, as in through discovery, not being forced to follow a preset lesson plan. That in itself isn’t a bad thing, but the way they handle potty training can be a problem. I’m not opposed to having kids who have accidents, to go to their cubby hole, find their spare clothes and panties, pull-up or diaper, then walk over to the nurse to get cleaned up and changed. If the preschool encourages kids to choose and discover, as a teaching method, then they should be able to choose diapers. If an elementary or middle school asked me to explain my teaching methods for tutoring and inspiring young girls, I’m not sure I could get away with calling it the ‘diaper method’ even though in some cases it seems that way, truthfully. Since I started working with kids, my approach has always been to meet them where they are at, and not push them to learn or perform at a level they are not comfortable with.

Chapter 18: Another Surprise [Note: This chapter is a little heavy in details, for reasons that will be clear later on. As always, Feedback Welcome. I have added a poll.] Mina was settling down into her routine at home with us, with mom my making her feel like a baby. Getting cuddled and fed, bursting into tears, more cuddles, more naps, and more diaper changes, was comforting to her. When I cry to be fussy, she cries as well, but then again, Kelly does the same thing and cries when I’m fussy, and she wants attention, especially when she doesn’t want to be in diapers again. I’m not sure what exactly is wrong with Mina, but she stops doing stuff, and goes weak like a doll. Mommy gives her meds after that, and she is still quite sleepy when she wakes up. One thing Kelly doesn’t understand is how to be fussy for mommy, but still be a good girl. I heard her cry in the her room, before mommy came in to check on her, and fed her a bottle. After one of her sleepy doll times, Mina tried to sit up, as she woke up in her bed, but mommy had kept her secure with a special blanket. I called for mommy and she came in quite quickly, to check on us. “M.. Mommy…. Am I allowed to cry lots? Sammy cries for diapee changes” Mina asked, as she was waking up. “Little Pie, You cry as much as you need to. Okay? And I’ll keep giving you cuddles to help you feel comfy, just like your sisters” Mommy confirmed, as she picked her up and checked her diaper. Mommy lifted her onto the changing table, although she was crying a bit. She gets confused after her sleepy doll times, and was this time. Mommy thought her request was a little strange. “Mommy… I supposed to be red in my diapee area, to help me babygirl time.” She said in a very babyish voice, but clearly expecting a diaper rash. “Little Pie, why do you want to have a rash down there? It won’t feel very comfortable. It’ll make you sore” Mommy replied. “Umm… A few days after the doctors made me sleepy da second time, I got bad rash on my bottom, and felt owwies again. The nurse was happy I getting better, but I cried for my diapee changes. I got lots of owwie rashes, and I got lots of cuddles. Am I a good babygirl?” She said sobbing. “Your a good girl, even if you are crying, or not crying, fussy or not, if you have a rash or not, if you need changing or not. You’re a good girl, and don’t feel like you have to be sleepy to be a good girl. You can tell me what feels good for you. Other than a fresh diaper, what else do you need to be comfy?” Mom continued to explain. “Umm… Stingy meds that make me stay kinda sleepy, but not poopy meds, so I cry for cuddles?” She said. Mommy nodded, and got some meds and a thin tube to put the meds in her bottom. She squirmed and cried, as mommy put her diaper on before cuddling her. She stopped crying as she accepted another bottle. I’m pretty sure mommy uses these type meds with us, if she wants us to cry and fuss, but not hurt us. I wanted mommy to surprise me with things like this, as it makes me feel fussy, but know I’m a good girl. Kelly started fussing soon after, and after mommy went to her room, I went and sat on the couch in Aimee’s room. Kelly makes snarky comments when I’m being changed, but I usually keep quiet. Seeing how much she fusses, gives me an idea on how much fussiness mommy expects. Kelly doesn’t like it when I see her getting changed, but mommy doesn’t care if I see her being changed. Aimee doesn’t care who sees her get her diaper changed, as long as they don’t say mean things. Mommy picked up and carried Kelly into Aimee’s room, and put her on the changing table. She fussed and squirmed, so mommy put the straps on her knees. Getting her diaper off was a little difficult because Kelly wouldn’t lay still, but mommy still tried to clean her messy bottom. When mommy picked up a medicine syringe, with a tube on it, I wasn’t sure if it was the meds that sting a bit when it goes into our bottom, before making us sleepy. I wasn’t sure if Kelly would have preferred a little sting in her leg or bottom, than having the stingy sleepy med in her bottom. She definitely didn’t like seeing mommy with the syringe between her legs, and burst into tears. Mommy doesn’t give us get a little sting in those places. After mommy she finished diapering her, mommy took her back to her room. Unexpected Call: Not long after I returned to my room, mommy came in to check on Mina and I, and give us more bottles. Mommy doesn’t force us to drink our bottles quickly, or keep drinking bottles she hands us, sometimes it feels good to lay down with a warm bottle to drink. Mommy got a phone call, looked at us and then stepped out, closing the door behind her. I could still hear what she was saying, because she is kind of loud sometimes, and I didn’t have my headphones on. My headphones are comfy and noise canceling, and mommy sometimes tells me to keep them on. I could still hear mommy on the phone, but kept quiet and just lay there. Even though I don’t like going to the doctors, Dr. Becky is quite kind and nice, and I try and be a good girl for her, even though I’ll probably burst into tears and cry uncontrollably like a baby, when she does some stuff with me. “Specialty Pediatrics, How can we assist you?” The phone answered. “It’s Andrea Payton calling back for Dr. French. Is she available?” Mommy asked calmly. I instinctively soaked my diaper. “One moment, Andrea” The receptionist replied, as mom expected. “Hey Andrea. How is your evening?” The doctor asked. “Hi Becky, My day has been busy with the girls, but not as busy as yours, most probably. The girls are fussy as expected, slight fever from Kelly” Mommy replied, and it surprised me that she wasn’t upset about our fussiness. “Ahh. I’ve been looking at enhanced EMG probes and how to improve diagnostics and treatment. I might have a surprise for you.“ Dr. Becky replied. “Oh yeah? For Kelly, Sammy or for Emily and Mina?” Mommy asked. “Well, I have a couple of urethral probes that can be used for assessing their urinary sphincter, and connect to a EMG unit. How is Mina settling in?" Dr. Becky responded, seemingly looking forward to something, but still not sure. “I’m not sure about Mina, she was upset because she expected have a diaper rash, so she could cry for her diaper changes. Is that something I need to worry about? It seemed like after her second surgery, when she started feeling her diaper rash, she was happy about it. How would the EMG work? How uncomfortable would that be for the girls?” Mommy asked, sounding concerned. “Well, that’s one thing I wanted to ask you about, actually. I have some time this evening to come by and check on the girls. As for Mina, if she seems okay with being put on the changing table, and strapped down, then she’s probably okay with having a diaper rash. If she throws a tantrum, or needs sedating for a routine diaper change, then be concerned.” Dr. Becky continued. “That would be good for you to come over. Do you want me to give the girls any meds first? I’m not sure how happy they’ll be, although Mina would probably be happy. I haven’t quite figured her out.” Mommy replied. “You can give the girls pain meds, but don’t sedate them too much. It’s safer to do this when they are somewhat wake, but nice and comfortable for us to check their bladder.” Dr. Becky replied. She does give us sleepy meds for some doctor stuff, but after the meds wear off, I cried uncontrollably, until I got more meds and lots of cuddles. “Sounds good. A little bit of fussing is okay, but I want them to be okay with getting all these treatments and help them with their regression and enjoy babying. Question about the EMG. Would doing routine EMGs with Aimee help adjust her meds, to reduce her overall discomfort?” Mommy asked her. “Yes, but you could use standard EMG sensors for that, not the ones we use for more precise examinations. I have a handheld EMG unit, and it connects to your tablets. It won’t be uncomfortable with this probe design, but it’s better if the girls are awake, although you can give the girls some pain meds before I arrive. How is Aimee doing?” Dr. Becky asked, after explaining things further. “Aimee has good days, and not so good days. Some days she just wants to be comfortable, even if sleepy. I think this will really help her” Mommy responded. “Aimee might be a little more involved to get the probe in properly, but using the EMG probe kit might be a good way to adjust her meds. iI’ll bring some extra supplies for the girls. We can cath Kelly and I’ll send it to the lab tomorrow.” Dr. Becky offered, somewhat helpfully. “Do you want me to have a meal prepared? I know how doctors eat” Mommy asked. “Sure, if it’s no trouble. Do you still make chicken meatloaf?” She asked. “Oh yes! The girls absolutely stuff themselves full on meatloaf” Mommy responded, cheerfully. It’s true, we do enjoy mommy’s meatloaf. “Excellent. See you then!” Dr. Becky replied, strangely looking forward to visiting us. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing, or I should be scared. “See you soon!” Mommy replied, before ending the call. This isn’t the first time Dr. Becky has made house calls before, as getting Aimee to her medical office can be a challenge if she’s having a bad day. I remember one time she visited last year, just before thanksgiving, and it came as a complete surprise. The first sign was mommy put Kelly and I in thick night diapers before dinner ‘Just because’ mommy thought we needed to. We both got examined along with Aimee, and Dr. Becky put some liquid meds in my bottom, which made my tummy hurt. We got other scary things, that felt more than a ‘little sting’ that she said. Even though I felt like a baby, scared, crying and a little sore, I still felt comforted by Dr. Becky, and wasn’t upset with her. I got lots of cuddles, and the next week in diapers, and pull-ups. I wondered if mommy felt I was feeling left out, with Aimee needing so much of mommy’s attention. Another Diaper Check: Mommy came back in to check on Mina and I, with a couple more bottles for us. I don’t think I could avoid wetting myself, with mommy wanting me to drink the bottles she prepares for me, without a diaper on. Even the sippy drinks can be a challenge, if mommy thinks we need more drinks. Mina’s diaper was soaked, and needed her diaper changed, and mommy changed her straight away. When mommy changed me, she could tell I was worried about something, although I’m pretty sure she knew I could hear the call with Dr. Becky. I think mommy knew I’d feel better about her visit, if it wasn’t a total surprise. I was sore from a diaper rash, but for some reason glad I had a rash because I wanted to be fussy for Dr. Becky.

Chapter 30: Back to Hospital with Katey [Note: This is a big chapter. There are a few more minor characters, but hopefully not too many. As always, feedback welcome.] Aunt Cassie drove us to the hospital in her minivan, but for some reason Katey didn’t look well. She was sitting behind me, with Jo on a booster seat. Tammy and I were placed in car seats meant for large toddlers. I was glad my upset tummy didn’t seem as bad in the car. Going to the hospital, after all the babygirl treatments to prepare me was really scary. I was glad that Aunt Cassie made me sleepy. She even put a neck pillow Tammy and I, so we can comfortably sleep in the car. Katey sometimes has really bad headaches, and was listening to music during the drive to the hospital. I’m pretty sure she had some babygirl treatments before, because she is friends with some doctors and nurses but finds it scary, even if she won’t tell us, or just me, the whole story. At The Hospital: The hospital we were going to has a neurophysiology department, whatever that means, and have treatments for kids who need special doctors to help them. When I kept having potty training issues, mommy took me there when I was 4, and got easily frustrated with potty training. The doctors examined all of me, especially my bottom and little girl parts. They made me sleepy for most the time I was there, and put me to sleep a few times. Even though I had a few really sore spots, especially my pee pee spot, but they gave mommy meds to keep me comfy when I went home so I didn’t really feel sore, but I was really confused. Mommy gave me lots of cuddles, and stayed in diapers for a long time. I’m not sure if I was dreaming after my first visit, but I remembered they told mommy that I’m not ready to potty train, because my brain isn’t sending signals so I know when to potty. The doctors said It’d be better to make me need diapers all the time, until my body develops more. I cried like a baby when mommy agreed I should be a diapered little girl. They made me go to sleep again, and when I woke up I was thickly diapered, and felt weak and sleepy, but I didn’t really feel sore. At home after my first visit, I didn’t know if I was mad at mommy, or comforted by mommy not making me go potty. Even though my babygirl treatments were often scary and made me cry lots, the cuddles from mommy felt good, and getting bottle fed was something that helped me settle down. It was probably a week before most of my fussy feelings settled down, and I was comfy with getting my diaper changed, so only crying if I felt like it. What About Katey: After Aunt Cassie checked in with the desk nurse, at the neurophysiology department, another nurse took Tammy and I back to the intake area, checked our diapers, and started cleaning up. I could see Aunt Cassie talking to the other nurse, before Aunt Cassie asks Jo if she needs changing. Causing Jo to turn bright red, before the nurse gestured for her to lay down next to us.. Katey looked a little pale, but I couldn’t really figure out why. Was her headache getting worse. Did she need them to check her for bladder issues too. She wears diapers sometimes, but won’t tell me if she’s not feeling well. Soon after, one of the nurses, Julia I think, started asking Jo the usual questions, but then got onto the ones Jo was dreading to be asked, especially in front of her aunts. “Do you have frequent urges to pee?” Julia asked, and she got embarrassed and shy. Both aunts got up to talk with the charge nurse, who Aunt Cassie seemed to know somewhat well. Katey turned to greet her, but didn’t get up. Jo shook her head to Nurse Julia’s question. “How often do you need to get up to go potty?” Julie continued. “Usually between shows, or sometimes in commercial breaks” Jo answered, quietly, and glad her aunts didn’t hear. “I see, and do your panties end up damp sometimes?” Juila continued, as Jo got really red faced, and just nodded. “Did you want to wear pull-ups sometimes? Did your mom suggest that? Julia asked, and Jo didn’t want to answer. “Why did your aunties put you in a diaper for the day?” Julia asked. “Umm… she said it might be a long day, and make things easier while Sally is getting her doctor things done” Jo answered, trying to avoid telling her the truth, but Nurse Julia has years of experience dealing with little girls who hide things from their moms, and from her. “Well, Lets get your diaper checked, and the rest of your vitals into the computer” Julia said, and Jo started crying. “It’s okay, a lot of little girls have accidents when they are visiting others, and forget to go potty” Julia continued, as if she didn’t know the plans. Jo laid down for Julia to remove her diaper, get her cleaned up, check her temperature and a fresh diaper. Jo seemed like she was about to burst into tears. One of the doctors, I didn’t really recognize her, walks over and greeted our aunties, followed by Katey and I. It didn’t take her long to notice Katey wasn’t feeling well. Katey usually has plenty of energy, enough to tire me out regularly. “Hey Katey! How are you doing? It’s been a while since you been by here with Sally and your family” the doctor asked, as if she’d know her a long time. “Hey Doc. Elaina, I’m a little tired with babysitting my sister, and seem to have a headache today. I might need a quick favor later on” Katey replied, almost excited to see her again. She had some uncomfortable and fussy times after some of her hospital checkup visits, so it seemed a little strange for Katey to react like that. I still wasn’t sure all that was planned for me. “Hey Sally! I’m Doc. Elaina, you might not remember me because I’m sometimes the specialist who makes you sleepy for scary medical procedures, and before surgery” Dr. Elaina greeted me. I’m not sure if it’s the all the meds they have me on, but I wet my diaper on reflex. ‘Umm… Am I getting surgery today?” I asked, trying to avoid sounding too much like a baby, but probably failing. “We’ll do some tests on your bladder, and check your tummy and kidneys, then we’ll see what the results are. Does it hurt in your tummy, or when you go pee pee?” Dr Elaina asked, without reassuring me on their plans. “Umm… on and off for a few weeks, even before they started poking me in my pee pee spot” I replied, starting to have trouble getting the words out. “That’s what I figured based on what your mom and Cassie told me. How do you feel about being treated like a babygirl again?” Dr Elaina asked. I couldn’t find the words to tell her that I really don’t know how I feel. Before mommy left for her business trip, it wasn’t clear that she wanted me back in diapers, before she left for her business trip. I’m guessing if mommy spoke to the doctor, she wanted me to be given babygirl treatments. “ Tammy’s Turn: Aunt Hannah gently nudged Tammy sit up in the bed, as Dr Elaina turned to talk with them. Tammy seemed more confused than scared. “Hello Tammy, How are you doing today?” Dr Elaina asked, predictably. “Hi” was all Tammy managed to say, still not sure what was happening. “Are you getting used to being back in diapers? I hear you have issues going potty?” Dr Elaina asked, although Tammy seemed shy and didn’t answer. “She’s been having accidents mainly at home, because of the restrictions, although her behavior seems like a mix of not wanting to go potty, and sudden urge to pee, causing small wetting accidents somewhat often. I’m leaning towards keeping her in diapers for a while. Going to school in diapers is likely.” Aunt Hannah explained to the doctor. Tammy seemed confused, but still scared at her mommy telling the doctor that she expects Tammy to be incontinent for a while. “We’ll make sure her bladder isn’t overactive, or the nerves aren’t sending the wrong signals to her bladder” Dr Elaina stated. “So if she is having overactive bladder, or wrong signals to her bladder, after treatment she’ll be in diapers for at least a few months, before we can consider realistic potty training?” Aunt Hannah confirmed. “Pretty much. I’ll let you know the test results, and you can decide what type of treatment is best for your daughter” Dr Elaina continued. I knew from previous experience, that the treatments while Tammy is asleep probably will result in her becoming incontinent for a while. Another feeling I get when I’m being babied, given meds to make me sleepy and use my diapers frequently, is that if mommy, my aunt or my sister wants me to be a babygirl, then they will make sure I feel and function like a babygirl or big toddler. I don’t get to choose if I want to be a big toddler. It’s probably the same for Tammy, and if Aunt Hannah wants her to be a big toddler, then that’s what will happen. Another Surprise: I was laying down, and the nurses were monitoring me, and getting us ready, before they take us to the more specialized exam rooms, when something surprised me. A girl who was probably 6 or 7, went up to Dr Elaina, and gave her a hug. She looked up, seemingly happy, and Dr Elaina picked her up. “Umm… Mommy said I need special stuff done by the doctor, so I won’t need to potty training, only diaper training” The young girl said, proudly. “Hi sweetie, I’m guessing you didn’t like going potty all the time. After your mommy checks in with the nurses, we’ll get you sleepy for your check up, and after we’re done, you’ll be in diapers and a good babygirl” Dr Elaina explained. It’s been very confusing for me to be babied so much, but the strange thing is that I’ve seen girls seem happy when they come for their babygirl treatment. I noticed Katey was smiling. One of my dreams is when I go for hospital treatments, and either my sister, just me, or both of us, are actually happy to see the doctor, and feel good about the doctor examining us. That part confuses me a lot, as I know I’ll be scared, I know I’ll wake up sore and uncomfortable, and be a fussy, crying babygirl. The other confusing part is that I actually like Dr Elaina, as she’s a good doctor, and knows how to help me as I have issues growing up. I’ve definitely hugged her her before, and been happy to see her. She does pick me up, and still can, along with patting my diapered bottom. More preparation for us: The nurses rolled me into the specialized exam rooms, I think its were they do some of the scary babygirl treatments, or put the girls to sleep, before they go into the room where they do surgery and specialized tests. I had been in the surgery room, barely awake, as the doctors treated me, and it felt weird, because I couldn’t feel anything sore, or move, but I was aware of the doctors and felt them touching me. They rolled in Katey next, and then Tammy and Jo. It didn’t seem like Katey or Jo were going to be put to sleep like Tammy and I. One of the nurses asked me to sit up, so they could remove my shirt, and the sensors attached. Then they attached more and different sensors to me, on my tummy, chest and on my back. They rubbed some numbing gel on my wrists, followed by a little sting, as they put the needles in to attach to the tubes. I guess they had to take some samples for the lab, but the next comment surprised me. One nurse said something about fluids, but I didn’t understand. “The doctor said give her plenty of fluids, because it’ll make it easier to assess bladder function, lets remove her diaper, until they are ready for her. They told us not to cath her just yet, or the girl next to her” The other nurse said. Soon after, they attached bag to the pole behind me. Just after the nurse removed my diaper, I realized I was leaking onto the pad underneath, and the nurse said something else I didn’t understand. Maybe I was feeling the effects of all the meds, but the other doctor said something to the nurse, but I didn’t feel embarrassed or scared as they discussed my treatment. The nurse put my legs into the leg supports and slid me down the table more. I had the familiar feeling of being cleaned, swabbed and a catheter inserted. I squirmed a bit, and they were done with the pee pee sample, and removed it. A few minutes later, they put gel in my pee pee spot with a syringe, then another catheter that felt bigger, but was intended to stay inside my bladder. The other doctor finally decided to explain what she’s got planned. “Hi Sally, I’m Doctor Beth, I’m going to be doing the nerve function test on your bladder. Is the catheter sore, or just uncomfortable?” Dr Beth asked, but I couldn’t get any words out. “Can you try and say the alphabet, so I can see how sleepy you are?” Dr Beth asked, as she attached something to the tube going into my arm. I started talking, but probably not making any sense. I started to feel really comfy, and really sleepy, and stopped talking. “She’s ready for the procedure. We might have to wait until the other little girl is rolled out, before we bring these little patients into the OR” Dr Beth explained. She walked over to talk to my aunts, but I didn’t feel scared. “Cassie, How are you? And Hannah, we spoke on the phone. How are you? We’re about to wheel a girl out, who’d just had surgery on her bladder. Would you two like to take a quick look with us?” Dr Beth continued. “Sure, I’m hoping Tammy will do well with only minor surgery. The family don’t mind if I take a look?” Aunt Hannah responded. “Today’s little patient is Leanna, and she is has just had her 8th birthday, but isn’t interested in gaining continence, and seems comfortable with being babied by her mom and family. This little girl comes from a family I’ve done surgery on before, and all 4 of the sisters had difficult births. We’ve actually done surgery on one of her sister’s bowels and bladder in the teaching surgical suite” Dr Beth explained, as they rolled her into the room, with only a small blanket which didn’t seem enough to cover her properly.. The doctor briefly shined a light into her eyes, and a few other tests, before inviting my aunts over to take a look. “As you can see, she is starting to wake up. We used a minimally invasive method, with two small incisions inside her vaginal canal, and two n her pubic region, and two in her perianal area. She was given a spinal block before surgery, so will be unable to move her legs for a few hours, and weakness should be noticeable for 7-10 days. Some sensation will return as she wakes up, but she won’t experience significant pain during recovery.” Dr Beth continued, while gently examining the young girl. “Is she permanently incontinent, or do you expect her to regain control in a year or more?” Hannah asked, quite comfortable with the surgery planned. “It’s a balance between her bladder emptying completely, to avoid UTIs, short term comfort, and long term ability to regain control. She could regain bladder and bowel control in the future, maybe in 2-3 years, but she would have to be emotionally ready, which is a key roadblock for her” Dr Beth explained, as she answered Hannah’s concern. Leanna, the little patient was starting to wake up as the doctor examined her, and discussed treatment with my aunts. “Hi Le Le, Everything went well, and you can look forward to lots of yummy food, lots of cuddles, and once you heal from today’s treatment, it won’t hurt when you wet your diaper” Dr Beth explained to her, and she managed to smile. “Goody. My sister dun use the potty! Baba pweese an more blankie?” Leanna asked. “Sure, lets just finish checking your little girl parts, and put a diaper on, then the nurse will give you a bottle” Dr Beth replied, noting that she sucked her thumb, and applying some special rash cream to her girl parts, but seem like she didn’t feel anything, until she squirmed when the doctor pushed on her bottom, with a little goopy gel. She also seemed a little cold. “The incision near her seems quite small, how long is the incisions in her vagina?” Aunt Hannah asked, as Dr Beth used a small mirror, like a dentist uses. “Both are about half an inch. It’s a good way to access her bladder, although might be more uncomfortable during recovery. The spinal block should give her a few days to recover pain free. It’s not recommended for older girls, because they can’t walk for at least a few days. Last time we did a spinal block on Leanna for surgery, her mother said she liked all the extra attention.” Dr Beth continued. After Dr. Beth had finished examining her girl parts, a nurse diapered her and then comforted her as she was fed her bottle. I understood what this girl was feeling. I like the feeling when I wake up from being put to sleep, and usually my mommy or aunt is there to comfort me like a baby, and feed me my bottles. During some of my checkups, there have been other families with young girls, and their first appointment, for the doctor to examine them and sometimes recommend babygirl treatment for them, makes me feel good. It’s even better if the girl is happy about their first babygirl treatment and wearing diapers, and not feeling scared. If they are scared, I sometimes want to tell them that it’s fine to be scared and cry a lot, because thats what babygirls do. The doctors let our parents give us meds to make us sleepy, or take naps, or sleepy through the night, as part of being a babygirl. Sleepy Time For Us: Tammy was laying in a bed near me, but she was crying and scared, so Aunt Hannah tried to comfort her, after she had her catheter put in. “Can you try and say the alphabet for me? I want you nice and comfortable” Dr. Beth asked, calmly, as she put some meds in the tube attached to her wrist. Tammy tried to say the alphabet, but became too sleepy to talk, and not completely asleep like I was. She didn’t feel scared after the meds, as they are pretty good about making us sleepy for the treatments. I thought it was Dr Elaina who came back in the room, and directed that I be rolled into the room, and Tammy into the next room as well. The room they use for the scary sleepy time has another room, with a door in between. Tammy was in the next room as they put a mask over her mouth and told her to breath slowly and deeply. Shortly after that, they put a mask over my mouth, and just like Tammy, to breath slowly and deeply. I went to sleep, and was soon dreaming of being in hospital, and the babying that followed. For some reason, I had the dream where I’m in kindergarten and my teacher was asking girls if they needed to go potty, and only one girl put her hand up. Another teacher took her to the bathroom, and while the teacher tried to continue explaining colors, three more girls wet their panties. The teacher got frustrated and asked how many girls are staying in diapers. Six girls including me, put their hands up hesitantly. One of the girls with their hand up said the doctor at the hospital put her to sleep, and helped make sure she’d stay a diapered princess all the time, including school. The teacher was surprised she wanted the doctor to keep her in diapers.

There are multiple reasons Haylee is comfortable around diapered children. And Maddy might not be ready to understand the reasons, and that being around older diapered children, that choice wasn't entirely hers. She might not need that much supervision, as she can make her some of her own choices. There could be another reason why she is so interested in how the nurses makes sure these young girls need their diapers.

Chapter 2: With Friends Like that One of the complications of the pandemic, for Makela and a lot of other students, is maintaining friendships with other students in her classes. Even after the coronvirus restrictions were largely ended, a lot of students didn’t really resume their social life with in person activities. When her friend had a birthday party recently, out of 15 girls who said they’d be there, only Makela and one other girl attended the party. Makela’s mom called and asked if I was interested in tutoring Makela again. She was still in diapers, and having issues with a few subjects at school. If I had to guess, she was lonely, and still having issues making friends. They had various babysitters and tutors for Makela, but she seemed to want me. I don’t really have time to babysit during the school year. When her mother tries to set up social activities for Makela, it usually doesn’t result in a friendship that lasts. There is another girl who wears diapers at school, well sometimes, as she misses a lot of school, and is a year older than Makela, but refuses to socialize at all with Makela. I briefly met this girl and her mother, when I visited the school with Makela and her mother. It was slightly ironic, when I had to ask my professor, the one who is a stickler for attendance, for permission to be absent, so I could attend a parent-teacher meeting at another school. And then there is the mean girls, from Makela’s class, including one girl, Gisele, who was injured in a car accident two years ago, wore diapers to school for a while, then swapped to pull-ups, not sure after. She made some of the meanest jokes about Makela’s diapers, and they were not friends before the accident, and definitely not friends when she returned to school. I had heard a rumor that Gisele settled down a bit, when her mother threatened to send her to a daycare program for older kids with special needs. Why Daycare For Makela: Before I met her, and she was still recovering from her bike accident, her parents sent her to that same daycare for special needs kids, because they had to work in the office and she couldn’t take care of herself, even for a few hours after school. The daycare they selected had no issue with her diapers, her crying and immaturity, and babied her a bit, and she didn’t mind. Letting her spend a few hours after school, being a treated like a little girl, if not toddler, seemed to help her adjust. The thing that surprised her parents was that the daycare staff actually helped her with her homework. Makela tried to make friends while in daycare, but that didn’t really work out either. She got along with the other girls in her daycare group, but their parents were too busy for their kids to go somewhere to visit their friends. Parents who have busy work schedules is the reason why they go to daycare. Why I’m So Busy: When I’m not studying in college, working on my degree in healthcare management. If I did more some more classroom training, and a hospital rotation, I could probably be a nurse, but I don’t really want to spend all day actually in a hospital, at least not in the patient care areas. The last year or so, I’ve been getting more work writing whitepapers for various corporate clients. It actually pays pretty well, but it’s boring work, although I don’t have to leave my apartment. Tutoring kids is more interesting, and I get more requests for tutoring kids, than I can handle. Some want online tutoring, even though they are close by, and some want me to tutor in person. Healthcare has changed a lot, and not always for the better. My normal doctor does do house calls, but obviously that requires precautions, and isn’t cheap. Doctor Jack is a concierge physician, but really dislikes being referred to as a concierge physician. He actually does know my full medical history, and was shocked when I gave him verified medical records. I avoid office visits, to minimize the people who see me. Before I started with some in-person classes at my college, and tutoring, I stayed inside for days, or when it’s cold, even for weeks without leaving my apartment. Why anyone would go outside for hours when it’s so cold, and without a pull-up or diaper on, confuses me. A lot of public restrooms are not clean enough, especially for women and girls who have to sit down to use the bathroom. One of my funniest experiences visiting a specialist doctor, with Dr Jack coming along. Because I dress well, borrowed a decent car, with a completely covered my face when I was stepping out of the car. I had another friend come with me, so that was the limit of my entourage. Somehow, somebody got a photo of me, and then told the paper it was some really famous celebrity. When I read the article online, I literally wet my diaper laughing. Dr Jack assures me that I’m his most famous patient, even though nobody around here except for Dr Jack, knows my history. Makela’s friends: After tutoring Makela again, her parents said she was doing better in school. One cold day, I got a call from Makela’s mom, asking if I could pick her up from school, as she wasn’t having a good day, and quite upset. I asked if she was sick, as I have to be careful. They said she wasn’t sick, but somebody had bullied her. I went at picked her up from school, from the nurses office, along with her friend Callie, who was helpfully keeping her company, while she waited. I sensed something was off, and said I couldn’t take Callie with me, as I’m only listed for Makela. Once in the car, Makela broke down in tears. Her ‘friend’ Callie, wasn’t really her friend. Callie was the teacher’s pet, who gets away with being a brat because the teachers like her. What happened earlier was one girl needed to go to the bathroom, but their teacher told her to wait, until another girl returned who left class to go to the bathroom. The second girl wet herself while she was waiting. Callie, not as quietly as she pretended she was, asked if Makela could lend her a diaper or pull-up. Half the class laughed at her mean joke. The girl who wet herself left for the nurses office. Callie told her friends to stop laughing, so she could pretend to be teacher’s pet. What really upset Makela was a comment that designer clothes are not meant for little babies wearing diapers, which ironically wasn’t entirely accurate. Callie didn’t notice that my jacket and pants were from Versace, and I had a diaper on, although it wasn't noticeably bulky or showing. A lot of snobby young girls, aren’t actually familiar with higher end designer labels. I considered taking Makela shopping for designer clothes, after she’s been fed and changed. It would be worth buying her a designer outfit even from stores that sell used designer clothes, just to see the look on her friends face. One thing I discovered is when I wore an expensive outfit, people seem to be more respectful. I’d rather think I’m a secretive rich girl, than the truth about my past. As strange as it sounds, I usually purchased my designer clothes online, and didn’t need to go to the stores. I used a service that sends me designer clothes my size, usually returns from upmarket stores, and I can keep them if I want, or send them right back, without feeling like I cheated the store. I’m not really a rich young women, but I do okay. I was hesitant to accept the scholarship, but it came from a different state fund so I wasn’t taking the place of a more deserving student. And yes, I do in fact deduct my clothing expenses on my taxes. McDonald's Time: The school nurse had already changed Makela, so we decided to head straight to McDonald's for a treat. I bought her a Happy meal, although she wanted a Dr Pepper, and both a Junior Burger and chicken nuggets. I had a Big Mac meal. I got a few funny looks, as I ordered from my phone, then picked up the meal when it was ready. I guess they hadn’t seen someone dressed so classy. She cheered up a bit, and told me some of what happened at school, as I hadn’t seen her since last week. Makela was a little surprised that I was dressed the way I was, as I had an earlier meeting with a corporate client. In person meetings are few and far between with my clients, because most meetings are video meetings since the coronavirus pandemic. I normally don’t eat in my car, but sometimes I do when it’s cold. After we finished our meals, she told me more details of school. Her history teacher can be really mean about letting students go to the bathroom, and lets the ‘good’ students to go to the bathroom, and if other students ask, she tells them they should have gone before class, or threatened them with detention. I’m wasn’t sure what Makela’s parents will think, but I doubt they’d be happy, especially considering the teacher sent a girl who had just humiliated her in class, and wasn’t her friend, to go with her to the nurses office. She also told me that at least one girl in her class wears a pull-up to school, because of some teachers restrictive bathroom rules. Makela isn’t likely to stop wearing diapers anytime soon, and rarely wears pull-ups. Makela’s school would probably make all the kids wear pull-ups if they could, and apparently it was considered, because younger kids had accidents a lot. When schools reopened after the worst of the pandemic was over, a lot of girls resisted using the bathroom outside their home. I was in a restaurant about a year ago, and some lady was yelling at the manager about the restroom being closed. As tempting as it was to respond with a comment about diapers, I just smiled and said “I go to therapy for germophobia, It really does help” and the manager smiled back, then handed me my food, and I headed home.