Incomplete Dude

I don't think you'll be getting any drivers out of the PS3, because CELL has some very powerful security and virtualization built into the hardware. In fact, all the guest OS's, like Linux, are actually running as virtual OSes on top of the PS3 hypervisor OS. That's why you can only use 192MB of the main system RAM, since the hypervisor reserves the other 64MB. As for the RSX, from what I've heard it's essentially a somewhat memory constrained 7900GT. However, the FlexIO interface has so much bandwidth that you can safely texture out of system RAM anyways (at about 20GB/s). See DeanoC's post, who's currently developing Heavenly Sword, here. Unfortunately, Nvidia refuses to talk about the internal with the general public, and the developers are NDAed. Still, in time the details will be fully revealed, but overviews of the PS3 graphics pipeline, like this, are the best we've got. btw, any knowledge I have of Linux is incidental, because I don't actually use it. Also, as for me being smart, that would be an apt description. Still, with that intelligence comes the poignant awareness of one's own ignorance. After all, if I was smart in every way, I'd be developing PS3 games myself right now, but truly, I am somewhat lacking and definitely unemployed, lol. Personally, I suspect it's because I used to hit my head as a child as a way of pressuring my mom to give me what I wanted. As a result, I may have damaged my prefrontal cortex, thereby impairing my ability to suppress impulses and implement plans. However, that's just speculation, and indeed, is counter-pointed by my ability to remain calm in stressful situations, and the fact that various mental issues run in my family. I better stop writing, because I tend to ramble on when I'm tired, like I am right now. In fact, this explanation of my excessive self-expression demonstrates this fact. I think it's because my associative memory structure is so consciously accessible, which after I conclude a point, allows me to see many further tangents in great depth. Combined with my impulsiveness, which is made more prominent when I'm tired, I then express these ideas almost compulsively. Moreover, my personal demand for correct language leads to numerous edits, and each one presents a new opportunity to add a point, like this sentence for example. Even worse, this creates a monologue situation, wherein one converses alone, and hence, has a propensity toward self-centred thought, despite any underlying self-less characteristics. It's an interesting problem, which is again, demonstrating itself in this very paragraph.

If they are truly a stupid person, then the easy cure is to start ranting on about some cold, detail-ridden and highly specific/specialized item until they get bored and leave. The trick is to talk fast enough that they can't quite keep up with you, let alone interrupt your monologue, and even if they do, very quickly return to the original dry topic. I find this work's almost every time, and if they stick around, it's a sign that they are intelligent and worth getting to know, imho.

You can't integrate the parts into a server, because they are soldered onto the mobo (i.e. no sockets). Not that you'd need to, because the PS3 is a very capable server on it's own, what with gigabit ethernet, wifi and the CELL. Also, you don't need to rewrite the BIOS or anything to use Linux on the PS3, it's supported out of the box. In fact, PS3 support is now standard in the Linux kernal, so any PPC compatible distro can be used with some modification. My brother has a PS3, and has already tried both Yellow Dog and Fedora Core. All the necessary drivers are included as well, although the GPU is inaccessible. Performance wise, the main PPE core is on par with a 2.5Ghz P4, but the 6 available SPEs are far beyond that when it comes to raw math. However, the SPE's aren't much good at anything else but math. Still, if you're doing something like video decoding, they can together decode 48 DVD quality streams, or 2 HD streams with 5.1 SACD sound at 196 kHz. Also, it's a potent raytracer, capable of about 60M rays/s, which is a lot compared to a top of the line x86 CPU that can only get say 10M rays/s. You can check out the Saarcor website for more specific numbers. Either way, it's fast, which is why CELLs are being used in Cray's next super computer. Also, next month IBM is introducing a new CELL revision that's 2x as fast as the one in the PS3. 6 Ghz is the number going around, as compared to the current 3.2 Ghz, but you won't be seeing this in any PS3. The CELL is also very popular for compute servers and workstations, which is where these beasts are headed. Of course, there's more improvements to come, especially in the area of FP doubles. Fyi, the current model does DP at about 1/11th as fast as SP, but IBM is going to bring that up to 1/2 SP performance eventually. Anyways, the Linux thing works fine for email and internet, but you really must have an HD TV or hook it up to a computer monitor. Otherwise, you can't read anything. Personally, it's programming the CELL that interests me most. Unfortunately, I can't currently afford a PS3, but if I could, I'd buy it for sure. It's totally awesome.

Last year was the year of self-discovery. I failed out of university, learned I had ADHD, realized my ABDL nature, and started a long journey of emotional self-understanding. My goal this year is to get my SAP ABAP developer certification, get some code published, get a good paying job, get my own apartment, get a credit card, and then buy all the ABDL stuff I can reasonably afford/need. After that, I hope to achieve clear emotional balance, go back to university for computer science, and start some entrepreneurial endeavours.

I wet the bed until I was 11, I think. I started liking diapers sometime in that period, especially wetting them in the morning if they were dry. I got in trouble for that though, so I had to stop. Moreover, they say it's a hormonal thing, but I think it's mostly that my bladder eventually stretched, because I can generally hold it about 18 hours. Certainly, I need to, because I also have a quite shy bladder, although I'm working to correct that. These days I still live at home, so I haven't worn diapers for 9 years, and can't start again. Still, I've had some dreams where I was wearing diapers and wet myself. It's kind of scary, because my dreams are very real, and I know I'm not actually wearing a diaper. I worry that I might start wetting again, and until I have my own place and can wear diapers, I'm not prepared to do that. Oh well, one day I'll be free from this social tyranny.

Yes, and there are also studies show that the brain structure can change by thought alone. For example: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/677048.stm Moreover, the BSTc can only be analysed by removing the person's brain. Therefore, one cannot compare it from birth to death. To be clear, however, I am not saying that different people don't have different brain structures. What I am saying is that the mind and the genitals are very different things, so defining one by the other is irrational, and a falsehood imbued by a society in error. Of course, some will say that rationality need not apply, and I question their judgement.

Well, I only found out in the last few months, so for the last 20 years of my life, I've largely been blaming myself. I had no idea why I had such problems. Was it my intelligence or my lack of worth ethic? Turns out, it was ADHD, not that I was a failure, even though it caused me to fail many times. Although, it's funny watching old home videos of me as a kid, because the hyperactivity aspect of it is so obvious that I wonder how it was missed. As for the caffine thing, no I didn't try it. I'm taking Adderall right now (aka amphetamine), since Ritalin had some nasty side effects, mostly nausea and tension. Now that I'm taking it, my old problems and work ethic issues haven't disappeared, but now I'm actually solving them. The reason these stimulants work, as I've been told by my doctor, is because an ADHD person's brain isn't normally fully awake, so to speak. On an EEG machine, their brainwaves are biased towards alpha waves, the same seen in dreaming. It's supposed that this is why an ADHD person day-dreams so much and is easily distracted. It's like the self-control parts of the brain are sort of dazed, and the stimulant wakes it up. Also, one theory that I read was that an ADHD person's brain does not respond to dopamine properly, so stimulants correct this by causing an increase in dopamine levels. In particular, it presented evidence that the hyperactivity part was a lack of dopamine receptors in the part of the brain that inhibits movement. The theory supposed that the congitive/attention aspects where due to some kind of similar problem in the cerebral cortex, explaining why higher doses of stimulants are needed to rectify this, since those neurons are relative insensitive to dopamine. Of course, this is a theory, but it seemed reasonable when I read it. Anyways, these emotional issues I have now are just one problem of many, which include organisation, punctuality, dealing with mundane tasks, etc... However, I feel I am making excellent progress. Just today, I noticed that often I go mentally numb. That is, I disassociate from myself, and thereby, I block out all feelings, good or bad. Certainly, I still have them underneath, because after I do something stressful, they bubble up. I suppose this is a defense mechanism that I learned when I was being bullied. Now that I'm more clearly aware of it, I can turn it off with focus and effort. When I do, it's amazing, and I feel like a whole person again. Of course, now I have to understand these feelings that I've ignored for so long. For example, I noticed that I base many of my decisions on fear alone, and forget to consider the positives. Again, there is this discomfort with the unknown that I mentioned before. Also, I have a strong fear of rejection by others, sometimes almost a paranoia. One result of this is my need for precision English, as I'm often scared of being misunderstood. Generally, I seem to focus on what I know I don't know, and fail to consider all my knowledge, even if that missing information is unreasonably difficult to procure. Fortunately, I have experience with cognitive therapy, so I know I can manage this. In fact, just writing this down is a kind of therapy really, which I guess is why I write so much. However, it is hard when you ask yourself how you're feeling, only to find nothing, and that you're just going through the motions, like a robot. Then, when you try to tear this wall down, you have a flash of anxiety so potent, you can barely remember what you were thinking about for the last minute or so. Still, these barriers will eventually stop building themselves up, and this reward is worth the effort.

You describe it very well KatieKat01. Further compounding this need for expression is extraordinary rejection I experienced during elementary school. As a result, my need for social expression and acceptance is both profound and scary. It can make things difficult, to be sure, but it's who I am. Likewise, I have a high IQ, being tested at 147 in grade 5, but I'm fairly certain it's around 160 these days. Of course, IQ is not a good evaluation of a person's intellect anyways. Similarly, I could speak before I could walk, starting with a first phrase, not a word. Again, in kindergarden I could read 3rd grade material at least, I learned long division in grade one, placed 1st in my province in a grade 7 math contest, and so on. Lastly, I'm also extremely creative, often imagining and composing long narratives, complex scenes, music, architecture, paintings, programs, and the list goes on. Due to this, I see all situations from a number of perspectives. Perhaps this is why I'm so concerned about what other people think, since I can clearly imagine thinking those things. Even now, I worry that I may come off as arrogant or narcissistic, and that is entirely untrue. Certainly, I dearly want emotional support, honesty and care. As good as I am at logic, it's these things that I value most, since they must exist for logic to flourish. However, because I have been so often outcast due to my differences from others, I have been forced to largely live without them. Sure, it means I can handle life's slings and arrows all the more, but it hasn't reduced the pain, only increased my tolerance. It's like you just have a bigger container to bottle it up in. This is still destructive, and no one should have to live like this imho. Still, such bottling is a habit that must be undone, and that's my current trouble. I can't pretend I'm someone else anymore, just tolerating pain instead of finding happiness. It's a big shift and a challenge that I know is worth doing.

D_Rainger, Don't worry, young people are much more open minded these days. I just saw my friend again today, and he thinks it's a perfectly respectable idea. Anyways, I feel fine about it now. I guess I just needed to see how silly my reaction was. Live and learn, as they say, noting that I've lived much less then you. Also, part of me needs honest relationships, so I can't help but tell some people. I would suffer far more if I kept it a total secret, in complete paranoia of anyone finding out (been there, done that). In any case, I have my logical validation, but left untold, it only supports the delusion is this world. I feel a sense of social responsibility to help correct this. Of course, some truths must be carefully delivered, and I do this. Overall, I refuse to fear the unknown, and I demand to express all truths I discover, for I am certain this is for the best. SoCalGav, I'm sorry the way I am disturbs you. Although, the context of your post makes your reaction humorous in a self-deprecating way. Thus, I thank you for your efforts to improve my social stature. After all, humility is a virtue, intended or not.

I suffered through many depressions, some suicidal, and what ended up stopping it was cognitive therapy. These days, if any irrationally negative though enters my mind, I throw it out. Eventually, the habit of negative thought is changed into an improved habit of critical thinking and optimism. In this way, excessively self-critical and destructive thoughts quickly cease, and depression is avoided. Of course, there are some thoughts for which it's unclear if they should be rejected or are mistaken as such. As a rule of thumb, if there is some merit to them, you will keep thinking them off and on regardless. The only solution I have found is deep introspection and analysis. In other words, the purposeful development of critical thinking skills. Part of this, however, is accepting that you feel/think this way. This allows you to study it, and make clear conclusions, since denial ruins your objectivity. Even so, there are still some thoughts for which one lacks sufficient information to make any conclusions. The nature of these things is unknown, so the only way to understand them is through experimentation. After all, to be unknown is, by definition, to be unexperienced and unperceived. Therefore, by testing them and studying the results, they become better known, eventually allowing a clear conclusion. I find that most people, myself included, get hung up freaking out about unknowns, but this is absurd. Since you don't know anything about an unknown, you have nothing to judge it by or form an opinion with. Now, this isn't to say that future events won't make these things known, but the future is itself an unknown. Certainly, we can make predictions and educated guesses on the future though, but these will always have a hint of the unknown. This is just the way things are. Thus, it boils down to one choice: Either, wallow in delusion and insanity, or accept yourself and your reality. The choice is clear imho, and once made, you will start basing your decisions, thoughts and feelings on what you know, not what you don't. In this way, your actions will reflect all you know instead of your fears, and become targeted towards what is most likely to bring the best results to yourself and those around you. I also think it's critical to understand this both logically and emotionally. Certainly, all fair and reasonable emotions can be validated by logic, but then, objective logic requires stable emotions. This creates a self-regulating feedback loop. If one improves, so does the other. Thus, the downward spiral of depression can be halted by finding or creating a hard line in either area that you will not allow to be crossed. Hitting this wall reflects the momentum of descent into an upward development. Along the way, higher limits should be defined, and lower ones strengthened, so that falling back is far more difficult then going up. For me, there was at first an emotional demand to live. These days, it's the logical notion you see here, and the associated emotional need to accept myself, which includes my unknowns. In any case, in order for the bounce back to occur, the feedback loop must reverse. Thus, the stronger of logic or emotion must propel the weaker. Now, this doesn't mean you won't feel down and out from time to time, it just ensures it will not consume and destroy you. That's my experience, anyways.

So today I told a good friend of mine about how I've been feeling, and it was interesting. For one, I told him about it in a public library, and no one around me cared. Second, he didn't care either, and instead thought it was fairly reasonable. You would think this would be a relief for me, but noooo! Instead, I was all the more unsettled, because I was so sure he'd at least think it a bit weird, even just slightly. I had worked out these perfect explanations and whatnot, but for what?! He didn't need to hear them, and was totally understanding. I felt like an idiot, and a part of my brain was like, "This is too good to be true!" However, he's a good guy and I have no reason to be paranoid, and it's not like there's anything I could do now if he told everyone, not that he would. I don't know what to think now... but, I guess, despite becoming cool with being the AB type, I still need to learn how to be wrong (it's such a rare occurrence ). Although, at least now I have the understanding needed to deal with it. That is, I must also emotionally understand the logical basis I have constructed, and right now there seems to be a few cobwebs in there.

I think this is an interesting issue. Personally, I was born a guy and will die one, but that doesn't mean I don't have a "female" side. I use quotes, because other then the obvious physical concerns, what does "female" really mean anyways? For that matter, what about "male"? It is sexual attraction, aggressiveness, empathy, clothing, concern about their peers, logic, emotion or something else? I think this is the real question here, and imho, there is no mental feat a man or women can perform that the opposite sex isn't capable of. For example, I don't really care about clothes, so I wear male clothes only because it's socially convenient, even though I enjoy reading about women's fashion (and not for the bodies). However, does this willingness to wear or interest in women's clothes make me transgendered? I say no, since it's just clothes. Again, I love watching big construction projects, but I have a passion for interior design. Again, I can be ruthlessly logical, but deeply value honest emotional expression. Do these personality traits make me more male or female? Again, I say no, since they are just traits. Now certainly, there is some physiological and hormonal basis that biases the characteristics to each sex, but this is not an absolute classification. There will always be blends of these. Moreover, the particular traits expressed is often highly dependant on the context, but certainly one cannot literally be a man one minute and a women the next, noting that surgery takes a lot longer then this. Overall, it seems clear to me that any judgement of sex on the basis of such traits is more perception than fact. Personally, I know one fact: My body is male. However, to take this as a clear description of my personality is folly. Even to say that, perhaps, I am 65% male and 35% female is a crude and primitive evaluation. All in all, I feel that it is easier and far more realistic to simply accept myself as myself, rather than obsess over gender. Therefore, even if I felt was totally female (whatever that means), I would not do something as drastic as gender reassignment. At the same time, I can understand how, for some people, the desire for such a radical change is so profound that it cannot be ignored. However, I would call this a desire and nothing more. (Note that this is assuming the absence of physical gender ambiguity, which is a more direct concern.) To be clear, I'm not saying it's wrong, just that it's not the optimal solution. Ideally, one would realize that one's thoughts and feelings are not defined by one's body, and vice versa. Therefore, the only possible need to change that body is to satisfy external social demands. In my case, I just don't feel that something as individual as this should ever be defined by the will and perception of the masses. In this way, the transgender state can only exist after one's perceptions have been set according to this standard. Moreover, surgery can only be considered when this has become so ingrained that it cannot be rectified towards a more independent self-acceptance. As a result, I can only see the existence of this drastic measure as a failure of society to accept the diversity of its members, even though such problems are inevitable in an imperfect world. Similarly, I find the question of being transgender to be vague, subjective, unrefined, and for my purposes, almost entirely useless. I am what I am, nothing more and nothing less. Of course, that doesn't mean I won't change, or that I can't improve. Rather, it means I desire and demand that I accept who I am at any given moment, mind and body. For the time being, this is the most reasonable and emotionally satisfying conclusion for me.

I'd like to get some too one of these days, just to try.

20, and still fresh!

No Have you ever sold a gift-card for cash, since real money is of far more value due to its vastly superior liquidity?

Well, I don't think you can strictly say it's an insult against women, because after all, they include blue teddy bears in the theme, and blue is associated with males. Personally, I think the prisoners will be really mad for the first few weeks, and then they'll just get used to it. If they will actually find it comforting eventually is a point of debate. Although, perhaps if they gave real teddy bears to them too, it would work.

Honestly, ABDL would be par for the course in SecondLife. I've heard they have factories in their that make women and kill them endlessly, just for kicks. They've got every kind of BSDM and transgender shop you can imagine. There are specialists in creating sexual animation there, who make enough money to live off doing it. My point is, it would not be shocking afaik.

Just another thought: How about creating an ABDL centre in SecondLife, assuming it hasn't already been done? It would be great publicity, since SL has no restrictions on publicly wearing diapers on your avatar. Moreover, many companies and news people have offices there. I know MIT, CalTech, General Electric, a variety of consultants, and Reuters have offices. If we made a fuss about it, we might be able to make international news.

I think going for a whole town is too much. I mean, who would finance it? Perhaps a resort-style community would be better, that way the infrastructure isn't an issue. Also, it could start out small, with just a few homes/condos, then expand it from there. Of course, you'd still have to have a job in the community at large, but at least there's an accepting community to come home to. In Canada, I know there are many forested resorts with fully furnished cabins and such for sale, starting from $1 million usually. You could convert the cabins into condos, and leave the main lodge for ABDL vacationers. The only major issue might be expansion, because many of these are on lakes, so there are strict building limits to control lake pollution. Still, if new homes/condos are build away from the lake, it should be fine.

I think you nailed it Pipsqueak! That's what I've been thinking. It's just a matter of accepting myself, and this logical process is just my way of determining my limits. As for the happy medium thing, I just look at my father to see how too much control is terrible for a person. He's all full of phobias, bad habits and gets angry real easy. I do not want to be like him, in that sense (he has a number of good qualities too, like his business skills and his charity). Unfortunately, I think some of his control freakiness has rubbed off on me, and it's not entirely his fault either. The bullying I've experienced did a lot to further the damage. In any case, now I have to re-learn how to accept myself and the uncontrolled things in the world and in me. This AB thing, and probably all significant emotional desires, fall into that category, I think.

Well, mostly, I'm trying to figure out the psychological basis in my case, which I have resolved to my satisfaction. Secondly, I'm a strongly logical person, as you can no doubt see, so yes, I'm trying to find justification. Again, I think I've answered it to my satisfaction. Part of it, I suppose, is my perfectionism. I'm always seeking to improve myself, and I won't do something if I don't think it offers a substantial improvement. Thing is, I'm pretty good with cognitive therapy, self-hypnosis and other things, so if I truly felt that this was a bad thing, I would put an end to it, for better or worse. In fact, I've tried to do that before, and it didn't totally work. I mostly removed the DL part, but the AB part has remained. To me, this is a clear indication that there's something more to it. Hence, I went looking, and the material above is the result. I mean, if there wasn't reasonable and justified merit to it, my subconscious mind would have dismantled the thought long ago. I'm just trying to figure out what that merit is exactly, and so far, it's become much clearer. Likely, the initial DL desires existed simply as an expression of my suppressed AB desires. Once I accepted them, the DL part seem to have just sort of dissolved, in the sexual sense that is. Although, I still want to wear them, it seems to be just because I find them comfortable. I'm not 100% sure, of course, since I can't actually wear them at home. Also, I'd move away from home more a million other reasons then to express myself, lol. My family can be aggravating, and I like my space.

This is what I got: You scored 13 diaper purity, 28 baby purity, 7 sissy purity, and 20 Furry purity! All the percentages were 99%. I just don't know the diaper brands very well. Specific details like that aren't my speciality. Also, the furry result depends on my mood. I did this test before and had like 30 there, but right now I don't feel particularly furry, I just feel tired, lol.

Only the usual stuff due to bed-wetting as a child. I pretty sure there were a few pretty embarrassing moments, but I don't really remember them now. Probably better that way, lol.

Well, I've been thinking about it a bit more, and now I think I have a solid conclusion. Expanding on my previous point about the child's acceptance of and dealing with the unknown, it's clear that everyone exists in such a state throughout their lives. Certainly, as we grow older, we gain knowledge and insight into the nature of the world and ourselves. However, more often then not, such insight only clarifies how much remains unknown. It's quite possible that an adult, in fact, deals with many more unknowns and unanswered questions then a child. In this sense, an adult is simply a child that knows a lot, so one might say, we are all just babies with brains. Thus, the question of how to live is not one of adulthood or childhood, but simply of good judgement and doing one's best. Of course, there is no way to say exactly what each particular judgement should result in, but a general principal can be developed. What follows is my best effort to this end: To begin, it's clear that, from the atomic scale to our human relationships, we exist as interactions. Our thoughts are interactions in the brain, our relationships are social interactions, and if you believe in the soul, we interact with that too. One way or another, all perceptions, thoughts and actions can be shown to consist of interactions. Therefore, it can be said that we exist as incredibly complex living interactions. Having established this, we can see that all of us, by our interactions with each other, form a greater entity that we call the society. We are as much a part of it as it's a part of us, and without any single person, it would not be the same. Thus, the society reflects the desires and actions of its members, since it is those members, and each one is important. Now, the vast majority of people seek to survive, be happy and improve themselves. More generally, they desire good things to happen to them, and thus, they retract from the bad and embrace the good. Therefore, the society will desire and do the same, and in doing so, it maintains its health by maintaining the health of its members. Clearly, there is two-way interaction of mutual improvement between the individual and the society. If one's actions improve the health of the society, the society rewards, and if one tries to destroy it, it takes away. Hence, we have the wealthy and the prisoner. Moreover, if one does improve the society, and this includes self-improvement, then the likelihood that one will have positive interactions with it also improves. Considering that almost all things of value, from money to teddy bears, come from the society one way or another, this is of great importance. In this way, even the most self-centred individual will tend to assist the society at large. Therefore, the rational person will simply strive to improve the society directly. With this in mind, we have a guide on how to make judgements and take action. If there is net social benefit to the action, then it should be taken, and otherwise not. Also, care must be taken to consider future or continuing benefits and drawbacks. In particular, many forms of immediate gratification are intense, but of such short duration that they add surprisingly little in value. Finally, when information is too limited to see the social benefit, then this thing should be done in order to accumulate information on the results, thereby adding value. There are many other further extensions and derivations of this, and thus, we can create a comprehensive evaluation framework. Using this, we can see the absurdity in so-called "normal" adults, males in particular, that often attach a negative perception towards supposedly "child-like" notions, such as cuteness, teddies and emotional openness. Certainly, it's entirely reasonable to turn something initially percieved as positive into a negative, if it turns out that there is a definite net negativity to it. However, what possible negativity could there be with the notion of cuteness, for example? It's clear that the vast majority of these "child-like" ideas have no substantial negative, but do have significant amounts of positives. Therefore, it is pure folly to artificially decree and reject them as negative. Instead, we must simply accept that they are good things with no age attached. All in all, being an adult baby is not an abnormality, but rather, it is the natural human state. From our interactions with the unknown to the logical evaluation of its goodness, this result is consistently validated. Even so, this doesn't mean that good judgement needn't be applied. Rather, it makes it possible to fairly judge these kinds of desires, and certainly, some of them will fail this test. After all, every action in this world can be done to excess and destruction. Certainly, some aspects of infantilism carry a negative burden, such as the environmental load of diaper usage, the financial cost of related purchases, and the social weight of care. Still, even the most complete ABDL behaviour can be acceptable if it sufficiently improves the acting individual and their social environment. Clearly, it can be a very potent stress reliever, and enable tremendous personal discovery. Overall though, the many facets of the adult baby cannot be broadly swept aside as delusion, because they are very often perfectly reasonable, and moreover, there will always be parts of life in which we are unknowing and innocent babies. ------------------------------------------------------ Also, I've had some related thoughts on dominance/submission. Personally, I like a bit of both, but was previously at a loss to explain exactly how. After a bit of thought, it became apparent that there are many decisions I must make, from my hair style to my choice of shirt, that I don't particularly care about. That is to say, of the options available, none are significantly better or worse to me. In these cases, I find it highly enjoyable to have another dictate to me what to do. Additionally, this fits with my social model in that, while I may not be able to determine what choice is better, someone else may be able to. Therefore, I am obligated to give them that opportunity, and submit to their better judgement. At the same time, if it seems to me that a judgement is clear, I am obligated to express my opinion. In a trusting relationship, this creates a back and forth of dominance and submission that results in the mutual improvement of all parties involved, and that is a very desirable thing. EDIT: I just noticed that there is a blog system here too, and this is sort of blog-like material. Personally, I don't care if it's in a blog or a thread, and therefore, I'll do whatever anyone cares to suggest.

I'll make sure to include her in my prayers tonight. Hoping for the best.