Mee

Yeah, I think maybe a switch was just flipped... Thank you so much, glad you enjoyed it! I do hope you enjoy it on the full read-through! There is more for them, and it is available, though only on my Subscribestar at the moment. Thank you for enjoying!

Thank you for such high praise! This was a little new to me, so I'm glad you enjoyed it! We're all searching for that somebody, but first and foremost I think it's important to love ourselves first! I'm happy to hear this story touched a chord with someone though, so thank you so much for the kind words. And please don't worry about subscribing/support if it's not feasible! The comments alone mean the world to me, and sorta like a fine wine, the backlog only gets better with time. So hopefully, more goodies are waiting the longer you're on break! I'll be trying to trickle more things down here!

Hi everyone! I've been gone for a minute! I've officially graduated from university, and wanted to trickle down some goodies to everyone here since I haven't been around so much! This is a super fun story I had the privilege of. Truthfully, there is a sequel that just came out today! If you'd like to subscribe to my SubcribeStar, you can enjoy that plus tons of other stories that haven't hit this board yet! (A full archive of all my stories!) Please enjoy, and let me know what ya think! Changing for Love If only they had a full-length mirror. Mercy sighed, trying to image ‘sexiness’ or ‘attractive’ with one leg awkwardly hiked up on the bathroom counter just so its reflection would be in view, all the while she ran a brush through her salon-groomed hair over and over. “If he doesn’t get hard over at least this much…!” she groaned as she threw her foot down, spinning around in hopes of being fast enough to see her ass lagging behind in the mirror. If only she were faster than light. But a reassuring pat on the back of her near-bare bum would have to suffice. No. More than suffice. It couldn’t be anything less. She sighed again with angst between her eyebrows as she adjusted the shoulder straps. She tested the cups, squeezing her breasts in hopes of a cleavage starting to form. But a magician could only make tricks if they were working with a full enough deck of cards. Not even tube socks would get her through this one. “It’s fine…it’s fine…” she soothed herself again, smoothing out the wrinkles, standing up straight, sticking out her bum, pouring out her chest, and smiling. She flicked the frills one last time along her panties, then with one last resolute look in the mirror, paraded out the door with pride. “Hey baabe!” her smooth and sultry voice wafted through the apartment as well as her brand-name perfume would start to do the same. “Huh? What was that?” Her voice reached him first, and he was mid-sentence, lounging on the sofa when she walked into the room, one sway in her hips after the other. Three more steps and he’ll have the perfect view… Right…here! And she stopped with a seductive grin that carried all the confidence in the world. “Oh…” a meek-sounding voice came from Justin, one leg raised and the other extended and straight, dressed in baggy jeans to produce the worst combination imaginable. How am I gonna see if you’re pitching a tent?! “Oh~,” Mercy mimicked, tilting her whole body the other way as a hand sat on her hip, starting slow and ending fast, letting gravity give all her pretty parts as much weight and size as it could. “When uh…” Justin asked with a curious smile, staring at nothing but her and his girlfriend’s figure, “when did you go and get this?” Mercy slightly stuck out her head in innocent surprise, just like she practiced in the mirror ten minutes ago. “Oh, this?” she looked down at herself, tracing a hand over the hills on her chest, ending in the valley below. Her fingers brushed the silk that hung beneath her breasts, parting ways and showcasing the patterned, skin-tight mesh covering her flat stomach. Intricate purple panties covered her crotch, staying as modest as lingerie could be in the front, and exciting ending in the shape of a T on the back. A small treat she had ready for the third act. “Mmm…who knows?” she puckered her lips, shrugging her shoulders. And the curious smile only widened, and Mercy genuinely smiled back. She took one step forward, then two, then three, until finally: “You weren’t gonna hog the couch all to yourself now, were you?” she teased as she gingerly mounted him, ending right where her crotch could spot any “activity” that might start to happen in his pants. Her upper half started leaning in closer and closer, all while her bare hands slipped under his shirt, tracing his skin and finding their way up to his toned chest. Until finally her chest hung just above his and she could lock lips at a moment’s notice. In a sultry whisper, she asked, “Do you like?” And a second lingered, likely for the sexually overwhelmed man to collect his thoughts. Until he blinked and stammered aloud, “Uh-uhm, y-yeah! I–...I like it a lot…” Mercy was ready to kiss, but she didn’t, stopping just as her face came half an inch closer. Slowly, she retracted her hands from underneath his shirt. Let’s move things up a little… With undivided attention, the lovers kept their eyes on one another as she blindly found his wrists, working her hands up behind his like strings that made a puppet move, and she raised her hips so his palms could await her bare bottom like a kid about to fish in a cookie jar. And the moment she felt his touch, her hips gyrated just to give him the whole dessert. Justin’s eyes slightly widened, and an attractive giggle left Mercy’s mouth. “I think I just found something you really like, huh?” she teased, just maybe speaking her silent hopes into reality. “Y-yeah,” Justin nodded again, albeit close to a dead-fish kind of answer. “I really do.” And for just a second her playful smile faltered, so she tried to mask the moment of imperfection with an alluring hair flick. She drove her behind into his hands some more, like trying to entice a plentiful squeeze that he just wasn’t making. So she drove her ass back, his hands included, skipping the pleasantries this time and unzipping his pants. “Maybe someone else wants to talk to me, huh?” Mercy teased Justin for just a moment, right before looking at the bulge in his underwear. “H-hey, Mercy…” She smiled to see the impressive size, then hooked his briefs and tugged them down, letting the waistband slap back beneath his balls where his manhood couldn’t hide. And the moment she gripped his cock in her hand… She wasn’t smiling anymore. The act was over. “What? What the fuck is this?” Mercy spat in disbelief, whining as she shook the floppy joystick in her hand. “Justin!” “W-wait…can you not…touch it like that…?” But between trying unexpected tactics and genuine frustration, she tugged his dick some more and spun it around. “How are you not hard?!” she cried, trying to make something happen with his balls next. “B-babe…I’m sorry, b-but can you just stop touching me like that…?” “Like this?” and she intensified her touches, trying to be as invasive and sexually stimulating as she could. She dropped his dick, grinded her crotch against his. Did her best to burrow it between her breasts; anything and everything short of actual penetration. Until finally she threw up her hands in frustration, shouting, “WHY AREN’T YOU ERECT?!” And finally Justin sighed, sitting up and grabbing his girlfriend by the waist. A meek meep was the final blow to the sexual tension, and she was promptly placed on an empty end of the couch where Justin could swing out his legs and sit beside her. As he sighed, true misery started to show on the girl’s face. “Why…?” she asked again, only now the tears were on their way. Lurched over she held her knees together. “Mercy…I promise,” Justin extended an arm and held her by the far shoulder. “You are attractive. You’re sexy. You’re beautiful. You’re cute. I love you more than anything–” But the contradictory cock between his legs made Mercy flick her head, staring tear-filled daggers at him. “I-I am attracted to you!” he doubled down, but with a wavering voice. Was he lying? Was he just trying to make her feel better? So she sniffled again, sinking into her hands. “Please…just be honest! I’ve tried everything!” she cried again. Lord, what hadn’t she tried? Roleplay, foreplay, making out, touching naughty places, couples games, sex toys, porn in the bedroom, and nothing. “Have you been masturbating? Is that why I don’t turn you on?” “Mercy, you do!” Justin claimed again, sounding just as confident, but yet again, anything after the fact felt as flaccid and weak-willed as his manhood. “I…!” he sighed, looking up at the ceiling. “I just…I’m just…” “Are you gay?” “I am attracted to you in…” Justin’s hand fell on his face, and Mercy just barely turned her head, widening her eyes at the blush growing on his face. “In ways you might find…weird…” “W-weird?” she mumbled back through her tears. “Y-you’re attracted to me?” Was this it? Was begging his turn-on? Four months into their relationship and Mercy had figured him for a vanilla, but maybe he was just a misbranded flavor. “W-well…how? What? Tell me!” Four months without legitimate intimacy wasn’t without good reason. Mercy stuck around for as long as she did because there was obviously more to it than just sex. Young love was special, but a young guy that checked all the boxes was even better. Dependable, reliable, kind, caring, considerate; a man who doesn’t mind cleaning and cooking just as much as his other half. They watched shows and movies, indulged in each other's hobbies, went out together, did parties, shared mutual friends… It was perfect. So close to being perfect. The last step was conquering the bedroom, but Mercy was lost without a clue and Justin was too timid to share the map. The irony though, because it made Mercy’s heart ache just thinking if it was only a matter of time. Was he unsatisfied and just too kind to show it? Was he already looking to start dating other women? What was she doing wrong? How could she fix it? What did they need to change? What had to be done to make something so great work? Her constant grooming and purchase-making was a testament to the nervous wreck love was starting to make her. She couldn’t enjoy the normal parts if she knew they were lacking in the sexual ones. “I’m just…I’m afraid you’ll be mad at me…or…you’ll want to leave me.” “What?” Mercy let out a frustrated whine. She shoved him as best she could, only managing to make the mighty man of muscle lean over just a bit. Another thing: she loved being the little spoon. But aside from that, “What? Just say it! Do you want to lick my feet, or something?!” “A-ahm…” Justin choked, and Mercy was just about ready to offer her toes. “TELL ME!” “I-I want you in diapers,” he blurted aloud. Silence ensued. Mercy’s lips imploded and her expression went from frustrated to shock. “H…huh?” And Justin looked ready to die. “D…diapers…” he said again, far quieter and more embarrassed. “...Continue,” Mercy commanded, and shock kept being traded blow for blow. So surprisingly, after forever in trying to find the solution, Justin did. Just kidding. “It’s mean though…you won’t like it…!” “DON’T SAY DIAPERS AND JUST STOP THERE!” She screamed as she pounced him. The neighbors both above and below that night would be particularly aggravated. …And weirded out. So one long while later, with a robe over Mercy and her lingerie, the couple sat shoulder to shoulder, speechless, particularly because of one of them. “It’s not normal, is it…” Justin broke the uncomfortable silence. And Mercy, resting her chin in her hand, muttered back, “No, it’s not.” But what felt normal anymore? A relationship where the cuddles and hugs had dried up, and what remained of apparent physical shows of love and affection always felt questionable for their authenticity and legitimacy. Their interest in each other was waning, as much as it was alive and well. The battle had been won on one front, but the war still had a whole other battlefield to unfold. “S-say it again…” Mercy sighed. “Explain it to me one more time.” “A…Are you sure?” Justin nervously asked. “I wouldn’t be asking if I wasn’t serious about this…” Mercy moaned. He was the one acting apologetic to her, but Mercy didn’t want apologies. She wanted a solution. Even as she tried to set the pieces straight in her head, the fantasy felt so far from reality and stuck inside fiction that an innate feeling of inadequacy in herself seemed more appropriate. Their relationship was failing because of her, and as insane as it seemed, this might be the only solution. “I want to keep you in diapers,” he started, repeating what still went down her throat like a bitter and strange pill. “And…I…I want to have sex with someone else.” “Someone else…” Mercy muttered with a scoff, only because acting angry was the best way to stop herself from crying. “Am I really not enough?” “No!” Justin was firm, holding her by the shoulders. “Mercy, I swear, you’re everything to me. When…when I say someone else, I don’t mean somebody specific. A stranger, somebody I don’t care about, someone I don’t actually love!” And yet he expressed his desire to have sex with strangers more than his own girlfriend. The hurt on her face did all the talking. “It’s…” he groaned, disgusted by his own inability, “It’s all about you. About us. It’s because you could be with any guy you wanted that I…I want to own that part of you so badly… I want you to watch me be with someone else, make you feel small…locked up. H-how…how does that make you feel?” “Terrible!” Mercy cried. “I want to be the one that makes you feel good!” “And you do!” Justin insisted. “You will. You will make me happy. So happy. Because…I know it’s hard to imagine, but being with someone else, knowing that you know…just knowing how frustrated, sexually, it might make you feel…” And if there was a perfect time for Justin’s knees to be spread, Mercy’s eyes widened at the sight of it. She had to undo his jeans and underwear just to see the beginnings of a rocket that’d never take off, but she was watching a mountain emerging from the ground. A tent was trying to be pitched. The dick did not lie. His words came with weight. “Are…are you some kind of sadist?” Mercy asked, too innocently amazed to not reach down for his bulging crotch. Just feeling the hardness was putting thoughts in her head that made her moist. And yet, the more she fondled and felt, the weaker the member got, until the brave soldier just about fully retreated. As if she sapped all his sexual stimulation for herself. “What? Hey! Make it go back up again!” she complained. “Just think more of those thoughts! Fantasize me! Can’t we just do that?” “I…I really want this, Mercy,” Justin poured out in every sense. “I want us to work so badly, and I think you’re the perfect woman… But…I need this. I really need this, because it’s all I can think about, and I’ve just been too afraid to tell you because of how you might react.” “Wh…well…why even the diapers, then?” Mercy frowned. Being cucked was obviously the bigger issue, but padding pegged for ageplay at best made it even more confusing. “Chastity…? I don’t know…” Justin hadn’t stopped blushing for the past hour. “It’s…attractive, I don’t know. The thing that stops you from having sex, or masturbating. It’s like I’m in charge of you that way, sort of like…” “A daddy?” Mercy finished for him, then noticed the twitch in his pants. Daddy… “I know it’s a lot…I’m not asking for something right this minute…but…” he looked at her with a loss for words. And Mercy went back to a difficult, painful expression. She hardly understood. Words didn’t even begin to describe a modicum of what he was suggesting, and bias could only make her doubt it all for self-hating reasons. What’s more was how earnest he sounded. How he stressed the importance of this. In other words, this was essential. A deal-breaker in their relationship. An ultimatum. Mercy suddenly stood from the couch. “I’m going to bed,” she announced, leaving Justin behind. “M…Mercy…?” Justin called, nervous and unsure. She stopped in the middle of the hallway, speaking back but without turning her head. “We’ll…we’ll talk more about this tomorrow…” And a woman far too desperate to keep what they had already made up her mind. Next was just getting her heart to follow suit. Two long and pensive months went by. A relationship on eggshells, another night, but far more fateful than the one seen prior. Mercy fidgeted uncomfortably by the door, pacing in bare feet around their apartment while Justin sat on the couch, bouncing his knees nervously. “A-and you’re sure about this?” Justin asked her as she moved to and fro. “Nope. Not at all,” her tone trembled as she moved. She felt hardly more composed than the night Justin confessed this all to her. Maybe even less so now. And the doorbell nearly made her collapse into pieces right then and there. It was time. She had arrived. “I-I’ll get it,” Justin stood upright, but Mercy was far faster than him, marching ahead with her shorter legs. “No. I’ll do it.” She had to. She needed to. She was the one in control of this. She was the reason why any of it was allowed to happen. So she could remember this moment later tonight…knowing she got to open the door…and meet the woman who would fuck her boyfriend. But big, bouncing breasts were the last thing Mercy expected at an eye-level. A ribbed sweater with a thick puffy collar around her slender neck. Wavy locks of blackish brown accented by blondish gold gave her the perfect head of hair. Lips with just the right amount of fullness, slightly shiny, long lashes and a light coat of makeup for a face that didn’t need cosmetics to compete. Her long beige overcoat ended at her ankles, right with her snug, calf-length skirt and stockings underneath. Flats that gave the feeling of business casual, except it just felt “right” for a woman so tall, beautifully unmatched in every way possible, and wearing something just to tone down her shape. Girlfriend instincts were kicking in, and Mercy already felt feral. “Oh, I wasn’t expecting you to answer so quickly!” the woman laughed innocently, and Mercy forced one back five times more awkwardly. “Mercy? Right?” she smiled with her hands folded together. She actually remembered my name… The woman just looking to have sex with her boyfriend. Mercy was just an awkward fly on the wall. An obstacle that had to be at least acknowledged. “Lauren, right?” Mercy grit her teeth. “Mhm!” she nodded earnestly. This wasn’t their first time speaking. They had a few conversations over the phone (all three of them), so it wasn’t completely strange tonight. If only icebreakers for cuckolding sex though were effective. She was just a few years above Mercy, and only one above Justin, and yet the vibes she put off made the gap seem like lightyears. Like a kid letting their mom’s friend in right before bedtime. Especially as Mercy answered in a crop-top and short-shorts. What did she have to prove to this man-stealer, anyway? “Is it okay if I come in?” Lauren kindly asked, taking the first step, scaring Mercy back a foot the moment her monstrous breasts looked ready to attack her. Is she even wearing a bra? Keep those on a leash! “M…mm…” Mercy stepped to the side, and Lauren entered, already looking up and around. “Oh wow~!” she cooed, “your apartment looks so lovely!” and as she watched she lifted her legs, one at a time as she separated her shoes from her feet. Not letting them fall with a clamor, but calmly setting them down and pairing them together. Like she was polite, or something. “Uhm…hi there?” Justin finally entered the picture, stuck with a hand in his pocket and the other with a wave. Like a nervous schoolboy. Like a kid with a crush. A crush that wasn’t for Mercy. Is this making him hard now? “Hiii~!” Lauren waved right back, sounding far more enthusiastic than she was with Mercy. Maybe in part because Mercy wasn’t nearly as warm, but also in part because she wasn’t the one offering dick for dinner that night. “Justin!” she nodded like she had to affirm her memory, then looked at Mercy again, chuckling a small bit. Like a tease. Like she was gonna get to cuck a little girl that night. At least that’s what Mercy could only think. “You uh…you look great?” Justin commented, but it came out like a question when he watched his girlfriend in the corner of his eye. AKA, choose your words very fucking carefully. “Thank you!” she fawned over the words. “I hope it goes without saying, but you look amazing too!” And like a third wheel that had to be acknowledged, “And Mercy, I love the clothes!” “This?” Mercy pinched her own top, like she didn’t believe it for half a second. “Yeah!” she nodded just as earnestly. “Cute and cozy; love the look! Can I put this somewhere?” She addressed them both as she disrobed her jacket, but ultimately deferred to the man of the house, and in that instance Mercy didn’t like what she saw. Not only in the front, but she had titans in the back too. A bum that even behind a skirt Mercy knew far outclassed hers. She was smaller in every way, and this was the woman about to woo the man of Mercy’s dreams. A dream that was quickly turning into a nightmare. “Y-yeah! Of course!” Justin the suck-up (per Mercy’s thoughts) scrambled over and took her jacket, hanging it in the adjacent closet. “It’s uhm…great to finally meet.” “Right?” Lauren laughed, throwing out her arms, and Mercy watched Justin be swarmed by a breast-rubbing hug. “Sooo great! Ah! Mercy, you too!” she flicked with a hand, insinuating her to join the embrace. And as much as she didn’t want to, she did need to be part of everything as much as she could. To feel as little like a prop as she was going to be. The woman was warm and soft, but with a height that sat comfortably with her boyfriend’s, Mercy was the one sandwiched between Man and Mommy breasts at the moment. “So…?” Lauren kept the ball rolling as she let them go, twiddling her thumbs as her own sign of anxiousness. “I take it we’re all a little worried about how tonight’s gonna go?” “Yes,” Justin blurted out almost immediately, and Mercy somehow felt slightly offended. Until finally she admitted, “Yes…a lot.” And a huge sigh erupted from the woman. “Thank goodness! I’m glad I’m not the only one! Don’t get me wrong; I’m as excited as you both are–” Ah, yes. Because Mercy was already waiting for diapers and deprivation from sex with bated breath. “--but well, you know,” she giggled, “doing is a whole lot more than saying!” “Y-yeah,” Justin nodded again. “Uhm, so we were…” he looked at Mercy, “Mercy and I were uh,” say me and my GIRLFRIEND, idiot! “thinking that maybe we could do dinner first?” “Oh, of course!” Lauren nodded, smiling appreciatively first at Mercy, then Justin. “Maybe something light? Like takeout?” “Definitely. Just what we were thinking,” Justin said, speaking for them both about something they never discussed nor agreed upon. “Did you have a specific thing in mind?” “Mm…not really,” Lauren shook her head. “Maybe it can be Mercy’s choice?” she suggested, and did not elaborate. Simply smiled, looking sweet, loving and all-inclusive. But just about every action was rank with conspiracy, or the writing itself was clearly on the wall. Sorry for having sexsies with your boyfriend! As an apology, why don’t you pick what we eat tonight? After all, Justin’s gonna be eating me out anyway~! Mercy was the only one going without dessert, and somehow, that’s what gave her boyfriend an erection. “Pizza,” was all she said. “Good choice!” Lauren nodded. “I’ll take mine with pepperoni!” “We usually do one with bacon too…” Justin was in a hurry to get his phone. And Mercy wanted sausage. “That was so yummy!” Lauren finished licking her last finger. She bumped her hip against Mercy as she adjusted in her seat. The real girlfriend insisted on being between them both. Holding them both back by the leash until the very last minute. “I’m gonna have to remember that place!” “Yeah, we usually get from there a couple times a month,” Justin said after a sip of water. “They usually don’t run out of toppings like that, though. Sorry they didn’t have any sausage left, Merc.” He sounded sorry. Apologetic. Like that was the thing that’d ruin her night. Then again, that’s what he wanted… “It’s fine,” Mercy was brief, still off-standish. While Justin was finally warming up to the naturally bubbly woman, Mercy was still the cold, hard rock stuck in a dark place. Though, more aptly, between marshmallow and muscle. Christ, is that why Lauren was the one who came? Was Justin too attractive? But the food was gone, their bellies were full, and there were no more distractions. Just one thing left. And naturally, the one to initiate the next step was none other than the sweater-wearing titty monster herself, smiling at the couple, indicating what could only be communicated through sexually tense vibes. “So maybe…?” “Uhm…y-yeah,” Justin nodded, “o-oh, but…” he looked down at Mercy, like his own girlfriend was an afterthought. “Are you ready…?” he whispered, as if Lauren wasn’t meant to hear the words two feet in front of her. And the boobs hanging right beside her peripheral screamed that she wasn’t, but she was prolonging an inevitable that would somehow save their relationship or put to an end what should’ve died a long time ago. “Yeah,” she took a deep breath. “I am.” “Ohk…okay…” Justin breathed himself, as everyone was quickly realizing that dreams were about to come to life. “Ready?” Lauren asked again, finally sounding like a cue to psych herself up, even. “Okay…!” “The uh, bedroom is down the hall,” Justin leaned over and pointed, being the first to stand. Followed by Lauren, and lastly by Mercy, but not of her own volition. She was speechless, not even commenting on it, but she stood there beside Lauren, partly because her hand had been forcefully interwoven with the other woman’s. Like a mother crossing the street with her daughter. Her grip was gentle and her fingers were soft. Manicured and moisturized, just like Mercy did her own. Just like she tried to make herself beautiful for her own sake and Justin’s. The slightly bigger and longer fingers worked between Mercy’s like magic. Like a key fitting into a socket. And with that hold, only known to the two girls, they all made their way to the bed originally meant for two. Then the moment they crossed the threshold, less and less punches were being pulled. “Mmm…” Lauren hummed, “first I guess we should get Mercy ready…?” Get her ready. Like she was the one about to be in for the ride of a lifetime. “Y-yeah,” Justin agreed and broke for the closet, leaving Mercy there still holding Lauren’s hand with her heart ready to burst from her chest. She was still upset, unsure and nervous, but now what was about to be done to her was a different something that she hadn’t thought about at all. She was about to be diapered for the first time in about twenty-something years. “Oh~!” Lauren gasped at what came forth, and Mercy blushed nervously. “Those are so cute!” And she probably wasn’t referring to the towel meant to be a changing mat. Mercy had no comment. It was the first time seeing them herself. She wanted nothing to do with any reminders of tonight until the day of. He held a stuffed plastic package of thick adult diapers. But not just any kind. Not the ones that came cheap at the drugstore. Plain white, plastic-backed and decorated with animals peeking over the plastic landing strip like a zoo lived inside the diaper. Four tapes. Crinkly and noisy. The farthest thing from a sex toy. “And like we all discussed…” Justin nervously started by staring at Lauren, but ending on Mercy. “I get to change her, right?” Lauren politely raised her hand. Mercy creased her brow, and Justin nodded. “I’m gonna wait out in the hall, if that’s okay…with you both?” Justin asked, Mercy gave a look that said she didn’t want him to leave, but Lauren gave him a tiny wave as a send off. The door quietly clicked shut. “Oh-kay,” Lauren huffed, letting Mercy’s hand go and situating her own on her hips. “Let’s get these open!” she went for the diapers and started tearing open the top. Mercy thought to unfold the tower just to help, but instead sat on the bed like she was in a catatonic state. But the woman’s face dropped right in front of her. “Mercy? Doing okay?” And she blinked, unsure of what to say, really. It didn’t feel very reassuring to be consoled by the woman about to cuck her, which is why it was all the more insulting. Her little moments of “power” earlier in the night meant nothing. Who cared if she answered the door, decided dinner, and sat between the fated lovers? It didn’t mean anything if she couldn’t stop them from having sex. She really was just a kid getting in the way. Now she was about to embark on her bedtime routine, knowing full well she was sitting on a bed that was maybe ten minutes away from some actual action. Not a diaper change. “You’re about to have sex with my boyfriend,” Mercy said in a deadpan voice. “Sorry if I’m not in a talking mood right now.” And out of obligation by physics, she slightly tilted toward the larger woman sinking the bed beside her. “You know, you’re the whole reason why this works, right?” “Yeah, because I’m giving you a pass for a free fuck,” Mercy bitterly answered. If she wanted to poke the bear, she was going to get hurt. “You’re giving me and your boyfriend something so unimaginably good,” Lauren softly explained, and just as Mercy winced, trying not to cry, “something so much better than sex.” She blinked, stopping her tears short. “Wh-...what?” “Mercy,” a warm hand huddled her closer, “if I wanted sex and only that, I promise you I wouldn’t be getting in the way of someone else’s relationship,” she explained. Her mouth twisted, but finally she said, “Cucking…as much as I wish there was a nicer word for it… Is something really exciting. Yes, it’s taking something from someone else, but in return that makes it a whole new feeling. A whole new experience for everyone. All three of us.” “Why do you keep including me?” Mercy blurted angrily. “Stop trying to convince me I’m actually part of something!” “You think you aren’t?” Laren sounded surprised, then Mercy was only hugged tighter. “Noo…! No! Sweetheart! Honey!” she cooed. “You’re the reason why any of this works! You’re the part that matters! Don’t you get it?” She dropped her voice. “Honey, Justin is just another guy. He’s anybody. Somebody that could be substituted for someone else. And me? I bet I’m the exact same to him. We’re replaceable. You aren’t. It’s your consent…your feelings about this…they’re the things that make it so perfect, and so exciting… This is a three-way thing, and I’m convinced you’re going to understand that very soon.” And the words only made Mercy more confused, but it’s what got her laying on her back. “No matter what,” Lauren said as she pulled off the girl’s shorts and panties, “All Justin and I are going to think about tonight is you. Us? Each other? We’re just means to an end. You’re what we want to focus on.” Deprive her. Tease her. Take what’s meant to be hers and use and abuse it. Show what she can’t have and why it’s a toy that’s been taken from her. Just a baby too tiny to take on big-girl activities. Her legs were spread and the bulk between her legs was prominent. She was barely moving as Lauren brought the change to a close and it was already a concert of crinkles. “Does it feel soft? Snug?” “Yeah…it is,” Mercy answered lifelessly, wondering if the last question was more for herself than the girl actually wearing them. “Good,” she ended the change with a firm pat on her crotch. “I’d offer to put your shorts back on, but…well, I don’t think they’re gonna fit,” she laughed a little. “And to be honest, I don’t think I wanna take my eyes off that bottom of yours.” Mercy blinked, only realizing five seconds later that she had just been flirted with. “Justin?” Lauren called from the door and down the hall. “We’re ready!” Shortly after, he emerged. Seeing his girlfriend, awkwardly standing and cradling her arms, trying to look anywhere but at the two actual adults in the room. “Wh…what…?” Mercy muttered defensively. “Isn’t this what you–!” A tender kiss took away her lips. Justin. Her Justin held her in a tight embrace. Like he couldn’t keep his hands off her, because he couldn’t. Her eyes widened with surprise, feeling him feel her all over. Head to toe, but especially on her backside. Even through the padding she felt his strong, man-handling squeezes. She crinkled as he touched, tighter than he’d ever held her on even a diaperless day. Once he finally let go, only then did Mercy remember to breathe. But it was clear by the passionate, everlasting gratitude in his eyes. A solution was upon them. “Thank you…” was all he said, and meekly, Mercy nodded back. It was so sweet. So wonderful. Everything she wanted, and possibly the beginning of so much. “She looks great, doesn’t she?” Lauren added, ruining the moment completely. Only for Mercy, at least. “Y-yeah, she does…” Justin nodded, but finally started to turn away from Mercy. No…! No! Look at me! I only want you to see ME! But now she was the one watching, stuck on the sidelines. It was just an act. It had to be. Mercy was the crux, right? So why weren’t they looking at her? She was the reason this all worked, right? So why…? She fidgeted uncomfortably, and everyone knew when she did because her diaper made sure to shout it loud and proud. “You don’t look so bad yourself, you know…?” Lauren’s cheery, happy tone kept for the kids was gone, sliding into something far more intimate. Sexy. Sultry. The same kind of voice Mercy tried to use, yet it only ended in disappointment and flaccid dick. But Mercy watched a sign that only hurt and made her heart ache. He answered the call for another woman. Rock hard. Straining to get through his clothes, and reflexively, Mercy’s sad hand floated over her own crotch, pressing into dry, plastic padding. That should be me with him…! I…I’m the one who’s supposed to have sex…! Her face of guilt, disappointment and dread was written all over her face, which is why it only stung more when Lauren noticed. She glanced over, then the corners of her mouth tugged wider and higher the longer she looked. “Y-you…” Justin started, and he looked at Mercy one more time, seeing all the hurt, jealousy and envy in her eyes, one last time. He looked back at Lauren. “You look like a goddess.” And Mercy’s mouth twisted and turned as she watched, just about to open her mouth and say something. Something to cut the cord. Something to stop it completely. Get her boyfriend back and put things back to the way they were…! Back to how it was before. Before when she had no clue what he loved, or if he even really loved her. Whether they were destined to fail or Mercy being stuck on another many-year-long search of trying to find the perfect guy again. Back to uncertainty and love lost in flux. Something that wasn’t even love at all. Hurt and confusion. But the pain now was certain. Tangible, and taped around her hips. An identifiable problem with a possible solution that only hurts emotionally and mentally in so many ways. “If you don’t mind, I think I’d like to see my present for the night…” Lauren hummed as Mercy watched her drop to a squat, showing off her perfect ass through her tight skirt. A bum with a crease that Mercy couldn't tease the same way in a bulging diaper. Christ, even when she was padded her bum still couldn’t compete…! So she watched another woman strip her man. Undo his pants and take off his briefs, showing a side to Mercy she literally had never known. It was big…hard…long…! Something she only dreamed and fantasized about. Sex with such a thing she could only think of with a vibrator. But it was here. It was real. And it wasn’t hers. “What’s wrong baby?” Lauren asked, turning her head up at Mercy. The sexy voice was gone, but it wasn’t normal either. Like she was still in character, especially with her use of the B-word. But Mercy was speechless, at a loss, not even realizing how close she’d come, just to see her boyfriend’s throbbing erection. She wanted it so badly. Just seeing it made her own parts tingle. Enough to make her want to tear this diaper off and ride the erection for as long as it would last…! “Ah-ah! Heyyy,” Lauren suddenly warned with a stern voice. Mercy blinked and her outstretched hand was grabbed by the wrist. “That’s not a toy, sweetheart,” she scolded at the wide-eyed woman. The wide-eyed girl. Justin was just as speechless, but likely through a whole different slew of emotions. A toy. That’s all his dick was to her. A toy. Something she was too little to understand. After all, Lauren said so. M…Mommy said so. “Go sit on the bed, sweetie,” Lauren nodded her away, still in her squat, finally shorter than Mercy. Smaller, yet still the biggest and most intimidating person in the room. She hung there for a second, right until another crushing blow hit her. “...She’s right, sweetie,” Justin spoke with a clear, rock-steady tone. “Go sit down.” Something compelled the girl to listen, so she did. Awkwardly, she half-waddled and crinkled to the bed, staring at them with an intense look, unable to take her eyes off them. After all, it’s exactly what they wanted, wasn’t it? “Kids, right?” Lauren looked up at Justin, then in a motion that Mercy couldn’t see, but merely heard, was lips kissing something. And Lauren wasn’t standing up for lips. She came back up and started taking Justin’s shirt with him, until finally he started returning the favor. The skirt went first and confirmed what Mercy already knew. Plentiful thighs, perfectly proportioned and a peach double in size and perfectly ripe. Purple panties, just like Mercy used to wear, only more intricately patterned and far more expensive looking. But if Mercy’s pack of diapers cost more, did that make hers better by comparison? No extra rolls or chub. All curves kept within their means. The sweater gone left even less to the imagination, and the panties and bra were just superficialities at this point. Then they kissed. Lips to lips. No cheeks, no necks. Just lips. Like how Justin kissed Mercy, only far longer, slower, and far more mutual intimacy. She watched hands caress Lauren all over. Cup her bum that was too big to be held, stroke her tall back and squeeze her perfect sides... Justin’s hands. Touching her in ways Mercy wanted to be touched. Had been wanting to be touched. He looked so…happy. So complete. So satisfied. In a way that she couldn’t give to him. Because he loved her. The crinkles rhythmically ensued, all because Mercy couldn’t keep her legs straight. She was still planted on the bed, but she couldn’t sit still. Not when she was watching this. The foreplay on their feet came to an end, and Mercy, still as the only one with her shirt left on, felt an extreme heat making her want to take it off as well. Lauren’s naked chest of identical treasures led her and Mercy’s boyfriend to the bed, slipping right by Mercy and Lauren made Justin lay down first, and she watched nervously with a wandering hand on her chest like a dog stuck at the foot of the bed. “Oh, sweetie, let me help with that,” Lauren chuckled as she leaned over, and an embarrassed meep escaped Mercy as her shirt came off in one fell swoop. “Oh, wait, we never talked about it,” Lauren looked back at Justin, laying down with a flag pole between his legs. “Are we okay with letting the baby play a little too?” “Uhm…” Justin hummed, and Mercy was at a loss for real words at this point, stuck with an inexplicable feeling making her hot and uncomfortable. “Don’t worry, the diaper stays on,” Lauren giggled assuringly. “Did you hear that, Mercy? Hey, baby?” Mercy blinked when the naked Mommy had her by the arm. And she popped the question that made her heart race. “Wanna watch Mommy and Daddy play a little?” P…play…? Mommy…? D…Dad…? Justin, just as inexperienced made no reaction, but Mercy’s flustered look putting ten different shades of red on her face only doubled down the confident woman’s knowing smile. “I think that’s somebody who wants to cuddle,” and Lauren’s hands around her waist slid her closer and closer, all easy thanks to her frictionless diaper. Until finally she was back on the couch again. In lingerie, surprising Justin just like she did two months ago, ready to summon an erection and ride it all the way home to a climax. Except she wasn’t. Her only lingerie was a diaper; far from sexy and closer to cute. No longer a bra, because Lauren took the liberty of unhooking it completely. It wasn’t their couch. It was the bed. Mommy and Daddy’s bed; the one Mercy was being allowed to be in. And lastly, there was an erection, but not for her (even if it was). She couldn’t even see the pubes to his crotch, as the few hairs she may have seen disappeared beneath the white of her oppressively padded diaper, keeping her own womanhood locked and taped away. “Scooch a little for Mommy!” Lauren cooed as Mercy was forced to slide forward, making space for the actual pussy about to get some action. She felt light-headed, her heart beating wildly and the warm feelings taking her by storm. She squeezed her legs against Justin’s body, feeling the need to touch something, but she wasn’t sure what. Something. And just as she went for Justin’s pecs, Mommy had both her hands. “Ah-ah! Hands to ourselves~!” Lauren cooed teasingly, like Mercy was her toddler that knew better. And she did, unfortunately. “To ourselves,” she repeated in a much more teasing whisper, ending Mercy’s hands on her own breasts. Over her protruding nipples. “Now for my turn…” Lauren giggled, and she finally sat down. Right behind Mercy, to the point where her head leaned back into breasts like they were cushions. But it was too close. Too close which meant something far more chilling. With her pelvis right against the back of Mercy’s diaper, she knew something else had to have just gone inside Lauren. Like a plug in a socket. A pure look of ecstasy on Justin’s face. “Oh wow…!” Lauren breathed, and Mercy felt every wave of heat on her neck. “You’re so big…!” And every word she spoke was right against Mercy’s ear. Impossible to ignore, impossible to forget. “So big…” she whispered and breathed, and Mercy felt Justin shift as the person behind her lifted her hips, shimmying them back down in a way that made it clear how wet they were. The sounds of sex between two adults in heat. It was so close and so vivid, it was almost as if Mercy were the one having sex herself. But a loving pat on the front of her diaper snapped her back to reality. “You’re…so…” Justin moaned not at Mercy, but the Mommy behind her. “Your pussy… Faster…please, go faster…!” “Faster?” Lauren giggled, stuck in heat herself, chatting as she held a protective arm around Mercy’s stomach, as if to keep her from falling off the ride. And Mercy couldn’t stop squirming, as Lauren’s latest pat on her diaper pushed her to an unusual point. She closed her eyes and listened to the vivid noises. Moisture. Sliding. Dick going in and out of vagina. Moans of pleasure. Breathing. Heat. Adult sounds and experiences. Her boyfriend was right in front of her. She was right on top of him. He was having sex. She wasn’t. She couldn’t. She wasn’t allowed. The grownups said so. The bed was shaking as Lauren was moving, putting more excited breaths in and out of each of them, and Mercy’s diaper crinkled more and more as heat happened between her own legs, for some unknown, inexplicable reason. “Ah~! See that?” Lauren mentioned and chuckled, and so did Justin. Mercy was the only one clueless because her eyes were closed. She was simply biting her lip, trying to focus… The sounds of sex continued, Mercy listened, but it started to drown out with an influx of whispers. “How does it feel…?” Lauren moaned in her own excited breaths. “Knowing what’s happening right now? Your Daddy told me, you know…how you two haven’t had sex?” she giggled, Mercy winced, crinkling more and more. “Mommy’s taking your first time away from you, isn’t she?” A hand that wasn’t Mercy’s touched her only free nipple. “Don’t worry…Mommy’s gonna take good care of Daddy, okay? And you too. Mommy’s gonna do all the things to Daddy that you can’t…that you couldn’t…that you never will… Better than you ever could.” Suddenly Mercy needed to breathe more and more. The insults must’ve been closing off her lungs. “You can watch. You can listen…but you’ll never get to do it yourself. This is what grownups do…” Lauren whispered, and Mercy listened more and more to her boyfriend, her Daddy’s dick going in and out of another woman. Someone that wasn’t her. “Babies get cuddles and kisses,” Lauren teased, and Mercy could feel the woman’s chin resting on her head. “Only real grownups get sex. You can’t even touch your own privates? The way you have to rub-rub through your diaper so hard? Just to get close to this kind of feeling~?” she giggled as the pace increased, until Justin and Lauren were as loud as Mercy had ever heard them. “Now do Mommy a favor,” she cooed beyond just a whisper, like she was back sitting up straight, working her hips over and over. “Be a good girl and open your eyes, okay?” And even from Justin, he moaned on the precipice of something Mercy could never get him to, “O-open your eyes, baby…!” So she did. She saw Justin, naked just like before, but she saw her own hands. She saw one playing with her own breast, rubbing it over and over, and the crinkling was intense not only from all Mommy’s shaking, but her own as well. She was grinding her hips, working her crotch against an invisible toy that didn’t exist, but desperately trying anyway like a kid playing make-believe. And her other hand… Her bicep was getting sore from all the up-down motions she was making. More aptly, her rub-rubs. The butt of her hand was running up and down her slick padded front, over and over, trying to reach the core of all her frustrations. She was wet. She was turned on. In heat. Excited. Breathing because she was close to climaxing. Just like them. Just like the grownups. “Ready?” Lauren asked Justin over the baby’s shoulder, and with a growing, yet tired smile, he nodded. “Okay~ home stretch!” Suddenly it got faster and faster, and deep down, Mercy knew to rub and play with herself harder and harder, working just as intensely as the other two reaching an actual conclusion. And in broken unison, Lauren and Justin cried, “C-cumming!!” And all at once, all three of them released. Waves of pleasure struck everyone as a storm. For a split-second shock was on all their faces. Mind-fried pleasure that only sexual stimulation could achieve. And Mercy watched her boyfriend’s expression in vivid detail. His quivering lips, his eyes rolling into the back of his head. His arching chest, the moan…! He was experiencing the greatest pleasure he ever had, shooting his load inside another person. And a quivering smile was on the girl’s face. Imagining that she was the one to do it. Muscles spasmed, shocks of sweet euphoria hit all at once as tidal waves washed through all their bodies. It was indescribable. Inexplicable, precisely because it was the first of something for all of them. They panted and laughed, save for Mercy, who as tired as she was, still felt like she could keep going. Her heart and head were confused, but something positive tickled her. Just as the other two were smiling. Until finally Lauren leaned forward, forcing Mercy in a sandwich between them. “That was…amazing,” Justin sighed with a grin. His hand fell over Lauren’s back, stroking the side of his arm. “I can’t even put it into words…” she giggled. “A-and actually…” Mercy felt a small poke on her cheek. “I think you managed to do something pretty similar, didn’t you?” “H-huh…?” Mercy finally spoke, but still with some unsolved discomfort. “I…y-yes…I…I came…” she murmured, and sweet smiles were what came from both boyfriend and not-so-much stranger. “B-but please sit up,” she begged Lauren in a hurry, who did get up. “Everything okay?” Justin asked, now with post-nut clarity, became a caring boyfriend again. “Y-yeah, I…” Mercy muttered, suddenly feeling like her wants hardly matched the mood anymore. Nervously, her hand started drifting to the front of her diaper. “I just…need to…” “Again?” Lauren asked, surprised, and biting her lower lip, Mercy nodded. Her diaper was wet, she could definitely tell, and apparently something already had her ready to be wet again. Or maybe she didn’t finish completely. “C-can…can I finish…?” Mercy asked bashfully, like the decision wasn’t hers to make. “Y-yeah, of course,” Justin nodded, and Lauren had her by the shoulder. “Do you want some help?” Lauren asked, and too impatient for proper channels, Mercy quickly nodded. Fuck it. If Justin got to fuck strangers, Mercy should be allowed to be finished by one. She didn’t sound as demeaning now with some horniness out of her system. One hand on her diaper became two, and now Mercy’s other breast had someone to entertain it. Some wetness and added pressure made all the difference though, because suddenly Mercy was gasping as she convulsed, a little late, but eventually reaching the same party as the other two. “Unbelievable…” Mercy sighed, falling back into Lauren’s arms. “I just came in a diaper…twice.” Then she felt a sensual rub from Lauren, who then pulled out the front of her diaper, making a curious hum. “Mm…once, actually,” Lauren declared, closing her back up and changing her rubs to soothing ones rather than sexually stimulating. Justin and Mercy were confused. “What do you mean?” “Mercy,” Lauren grinned, “did you not notice your diaper’s wet?” “W-...well…I just came in it…” A sentence she never thought in a million years she’d ever be saying. “And you peed,” Lauren explained, patting her front like an indicator to look. And…sure enough… What was once eggshell white wasn’t quite the same anymore. Some color had gone, and a faint discoloration was there. Yellow, to be exact. And while Mercy tried to process her emotions, Lauren giggled. “Awh~! Is that what happened? Were you going pee the first time? Did you think it was cummies? Oh my gosh, that’s too cute!” That’s exactly what it was. Placebo’d by her peers into thinking she was amounting to something great as well. She should’ve known. She should’ve realized. If she wasn’t so horny, she would’ve known that a climax wasn’t supposed to feel like a long, uninterrupted stream. And now knowing that, it was a wet diaper that really got her to the edge. “Y-you wet it…?” Justin blinked, catching up to speed. And Mercy frowned, finally covering her chest again as she tried to dismount her boyfriend, but Lauren forced her right back down with a happy laugh. “Nuh-uh~ you stay right here! This is the after-care part!” “After what…?” Mercy mumbled. “After-care,” Lauren repeated, hugging her snuggly. “So you know that I’m not actually a monster, and Justin, your very real boyfriend is still very much that.” “O-of course I am!” Justin stammered. “And we’re gonna make sure you know it,” Lauren rubbed her cheek against Mercy’s. “Thanks for making it such a fun first time, Mercy.” “Y-yeah…” Justin spoke up. “Mercy, really…thank you.” And the appreciation was all well and good, but Mercy was back to fidgeting again. “Do you need to pee?” Lauren asked. “Or wait– climax again?” “No,” Mercy huffed. “I just want out of this diaper, please.” “Oh, of course!” Lauren said, dismounting Justin first. “I think we put your panties over here…” “W-well…” Mercy’s voice left both staring at her. She adjusted her hair uncomfortably. “I-I…I didn’t say panties…”

I wouldn't call this diaper dimension by my intentions in writing it. Just a universe that happens to have tall women and different norms against males. It was loose enough and implied sex-specific rules to be just "not standard reality."

The full name of Daniel's (new) guardian! Nope, no acid. There's some descriptions used to indicate that all the women he happens to see are much bigger than him, including all the furniture and infrastructure, despite being a "normal" height himself. AKA, suddenly a different world. Bingo! Maybe I was too subtle with the hints? On the other hand, I felt pretty comfortable with the overall delivery, but maybe it's because I have bias for being the one who wrote it. There's no exact answer to what the bear did necessarily, but the humming Daniel was hearing in his head was meant to indicate some kind of passive hypnosis stuff or whatever.

Nope! Didn't die! Thank you for reading and commenting, glad you enjoyed! Sorry! I'll add a tag to this that it's a one-shot/short! No continuation is planned! Thank you for enjoying! Uhh, up to your imagination! Just standard stuff, I suppose!

This involves folks getting a little more handsy than I usually write! Drop-In A bright and sunny Saturday morning. A time no better spent than hanging out with friends, doing a bit of takeout, or just lounging around with deep dive videos on autoplay, or a good game to binge… Daniel in particular was not enjoying those weekly rituals, at the moment. Every so often one or two Saturdays were lost to duties and responsibilities that unfortunately superseded the simple pleasures of life. He hopped out of his car and swung the door shut before roofing a hand above his eyes so he could squint past the glaring sun peering just over the roof of his destination. PediaPros Big bold font in a whimsical wave on a curved and arched sign that was proudly posted on the front of the building. It was a clinic nestled in a village of other healthcare services– eye doctors, dentists, physical therapies, and so on. So for that reason, the clinic wasn’t exactly out of place, but… 20-year old Daniel checked the address and referral on his phone one more time, squinting a second time at the building front. “This can’t be the right place, right…?” He muttered to himself, but before he could check the address again, the screen on his phone was overtaken by a final five minute warning for his scheduled appointment. No time to consider an alternative, and at worst the best he could do was clarify the address with someone inside. Screw it. He had to go in; maybe this was the right place somehow… But a pediatric clinic? How the hell could someone his age mess that up? This was going to be awkward… He tried not to imagine the unusual scenario about to unfold, though he couldn’t not consider the weird look he’d get from the receptionist when she realized that the visiting patient wasn’t his kid, but the young man himself, etcetera, etcetera… He tried to shut down both his imagination and his focus… Which is why he didn’t look both ways before crossing the parking lot. HOOOOOOOOOONK! A blaring car horn startled Daniel as an oncoming vehicle became deafeningly louder the closer it got. A screeching sound as a massive machination of metal with high momentum tried to stop on a dime before colliding with a soft body of flesh and mere bones. Daniel saw it all in slow motion: the car attempting to stop, but still barreling forward, the silhouette of a horrified driver just beyond the windshield assaulted by the shining sun. Is this it? Is this how I die? Everything was in slow motion for sure. The eternal honk played out like a video set to a quarter of the original speed, and any movement to turn or escape was like wading through viscous mud mixed with molasses and rubber cement… He couldn’t move, and the car was only a handful of inches away… Shit. His moment for his life to flash before his eyes was over. Time sped up again, and the car sped straight through. Through his dying moments, an odd electric sound rippled through his ears. A hefty thump and scuff played out, and everything was black for Daniel. There was a final screech to tell that the car had stopped, only far too late. Truly, they should’ve kept going. Now they have to see Daniel’s broken and beaten body. “Goodness! That was a close one!” Daniel quickly opened his eyes, seeing he was on his bottom, sitting on the pavement with his arms oddly strung up by the armpits and dangling forward. He craned his neck and turned around to find a woman looking down at him with a relieved expression, sitting on the ground herself, only breathing slightly heavier like she was trying to recover from a sudden sprint. “Are you okay?” the woman asked attentively. The concern on her face was unmistakable, and Daniel simply couldn’t find the words as she looked down at him. His mind was totally blank. I’m not…dead? “O-oh-oh my god…!” A new woman appeared from the road where Daniel just thought he was about to kick it. She had tears in her eyes with both hands covering her mouth. “I-I’m…! I’m s-so sorry! I-I made sure to look, b-but you didn’t ch-check and-and I tried to stop– but I…!” Only now Daniel realized how wide-eyed he was, completely taken aback. One moment it was the end, and now it…wasn’t? “I think everyone’s okay,” the woman behind Daniel said to the other, who seemed to be quickly, but cautiously calming down. “I think it was just a close call– We didn’t look both ways before crossing… Luckily I got to him in time…!” The driver took a long sniff, wiping the budding tears from her eyes, nodding slowly. “S-sorry…” Daniel said, still with adrenaline and confusion. He slowly looked up at the woman. “It…it was my mistake…I was distracted…” “O-okay…” the woman sighed, calming down further. “Just…please make sure to look both ways before crossing from now on?” “Understood…” Daniel answered mechanically, and the driver finally left. “Can you stand?” The remaining woman asked, and Daniel felt himself rising against his will as two supportive hands continued to draw him up by the armpits. There was little strain or effort exerted it seemed, as the woman looked like she had barely broken a sweat in anything just now. Daniel slowly turned around, like he was still getting his land legs back, coming face to face with an armful of ample-sized breasts– He quickly turned his head up. The noticeably taller woman smiled down at him, though harboring a bit of skepticism in her eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay?” she frowned, slightly leaning in. “Y-yeah, uh-uhm…” Daniel murmured. There weren’t any real apt words. His mind was fried from nearly dying, and the adrenaline was still pumping through him. Now an unusually tall woman had just saved him and was drilling him like she was his doctor or it was his checkup– HIS APPOINTMENT! “W-wait, I need to go– I-I have an appointment…” Daniel quickly turned, sprouting a noise of surprise from the woman, who quickly called back for him. Looking both ways this time, Daniel crossed the road and hopped up onto the sidewalk branching into the alcove with the door leading inside the clinic. But before leaving he turned one last time to face the woman and waved his hand. “Th-thank you for helping me!” She waved back and Daniel headed inside, turning the knob in line with his chest and managing the large door only a third of the way open before slipping inside. The main lobby was certainly a pediatrician’s. Pastel green walls with murals of smiling farm animals grazing in the imaginary fields. A corner filled with toys ranging from blocks to crayons and coloring books, plus a sea of empty padded seats for the people (parents) not so inclined to enjoy the toys. A digital choo-choo chimed even as a miniature train track suspended from the ceiling showed a model train chugging around the top. He didn’t even notice the giant funhouse mirror warping and wobbling his figure as he walked past in a hurry to reach the front desk. “S-sorry, I have an appointment?” Daniel slightly huffed, catching his breath. His hands were perched on the edge of the counter, uncharacteristically as high as his shoulders… But no time for that. “It’s for a physical.” The receptionist was looking down on him with a healthy vertical gap between them. Obviously she was sitting in a swivel seat with its height pushed to the maximum, but Daniel still didn’t appreciate having to look up so high. A shadow loomed over Daniel as the woman slightly leaned out, turning her head both ways, like looking for a second person before eventually resuming her typing. “Name, honey?” An adult clinic wouldn’t speak to me like that… Daniel quietly thought. Not as a slight or displeasure, but a simple observation. “Daniel Myers.” “Can you spell your last name nice and loud for me, please?” “M-Y-E-R-S.” Maybe Daniel misheard her, but he couldn’t help but pick up on a quiet murmur, “Good job…” before speaking clearly again, “Okay, yup. I have you here for a 2:00 appointment. Do you know what time it is right now?” “Huh? Wait–am I that late?” Daniel quickly remarked before checking his phone in a hurry. “2:02…” he muttered. “Thank god. Yeah, sorry about that– traffic was crazy and something just happ–” “Let’s learn to be on time in the future, okay?” the woman, who couldn’t have been more than 10 years his senior, smirked at him with a mightier-than-thou grin. The pleasantries were quickly leaving Daniel’s face, though not wanting to make an argument, responded a bit coolly in turn. “Yeah, sure…whatever.” “So it’s just you today?” the receptionist asked, swiveling around in her station to go for a filing cabinet. She was in a set of flowery-printed scrubs, though Daniel saw her in full view now, seeing that the chair didn’t look particularly cranked… Or rather, her feet clearly and comfortably touching the floor. Another tall woman…? Not that they were unicorns, but still an unusual sight for two in one day… “Yeah, just me,” Daniel said as she slid a lime green translucent plastic clipboard forward. It had a single medical sheet with a pen dangling from the board by a chain of tiny metal ball beads. “Alrighty then, just make sure to fill out as much as you can,” the woman dropped her finger on the page multiple times. “If you have any questions on anything you can just ask. I’ll give you a few minutes before calling the nurse.” “Got it, thanks…” Daniel took the slightly large board and paper with one hand and took it back to one of the seats, hopping up into place, quietly noticing the slight hover his feet had over the floor. Were the chairs just unusually big, too? He shook his head and focused on the medical sheet, looking over the basics like filling out his name, address, age, date of birth, and so on… and… He stopped. “Excuse me?” Daniel was standing back at the front desk, sliding the clipboard back onto the counter. “Is this the right form that I’m supposed to be filling out?” “We only have one kind of form, sweetheart,” the woman casually said, but peered over the page. “What’s confusing you?” “No– nothing’s confusing me, or–” he bit his tongue, not enjoying the way she phrased the question. “It’s this,” he pointed at the name fields. “There’s one for the child-slash-patient, and the other for the parent-slash-guardian.” “...Uh-huh,” the receptionist was quiet for a moment before nodded in agreement, but without any kind of inflection that said she understood his point. She was waiting for him to explain more. “I’m…20 years old…” Daniel explained, like it was obvious, but he was trying to be subtle. “I’m filling this out, but it’s structured like there’s two people here, so…?” “...Well, we only have one kind of form, honey,” the woman explained. “Just fill it out as best as you can, okay?” “...” Daniel debated arguing further, but the fact remained that it wouldn’t get him a different kind of information form. “Sure, okay… So I’ll just put my name in the parent-guardian section, then?” “Oh– no, no. Nope, you want to write your name here,” the receptionist clearly pointed to the left hand side. “Right where it says child-slash-patient.” “But…” Daniel slowly started, though she quickly shut him down. “You’re a patient, right?” the receptionist asked, like it was obvious yet needed a soft reminder. Quietly, Daniel slid the clipboard off the top, not particularly pleased with the result. “Yeah, I am.” “Just come back over if anything else is confusing you!” Daniel resigned himself back into his seat, feeling his pride somewhat slighted by his scribbles. CHILD/PATIENT: DANIEL MYERS He continued filling out the rest of the essentials, though suddenly mindful of all the wording. The questions were personal with regards to developmental or medical issues, but they were never addressing Daniel directly. It wasn’t “Do you have trouble sleeping at night?” but instead. “Does your child have trouble sleeping at night?” Ultimately whatever, but the semantics still bothered him… The next question made him turn his head. “(If child is over the age of 18 and biologically MALE) Does your child still wear diapers?” And a subsequent question… “(If checked YES to wearing diapers) Do you plan to potty train?” “Wh-what the fuck…?” Daniel murmured. “Daniel?” A new female voice called from the end of the waiting room. Another woman in scrubs waited patiently by the doorway where a half-gate was swung out. With no one else in the waiting room, she had no choice but to stare directly in Daniel’s direction, although smiling patiently, but still clearly waiting on him. He glanced over at the nurse, still bewildered by what he certainly must have misread. He glanced down at the page again, trying to find the questions once more in a frantic hurry. “Sweetheart, the nice nurse calling for you!” the receptionist beckoned him over from his seat. “Y-yeah, I know, but I…” he awkwardly stumbled down from his seat, heading straight for the receptionist. “A-are you sure this is the right form? I just saw something that–” “It’s okay if you don’t know all the answers,” the receptionist cut him off. “Just do the best you can. Now let’s not make the nice nurse wait any more. You can take that with you into the room.” “But…” Daniel huffed, annoyed by being cut off and dismissed, as if he really were an ignorant child. But with little left to say, he finally approached the nurse patiently waiting by the gate. “You must be Daniel!” she cheerily said, and Daniel once again found himself looking high up at another woman towering over him. “Yeah, that’s me,” Daniel awkwardly replied. He stood there for a second, waiting for her to lead the way, but her expression shifted into peachy confusion as she scanned the rest of the room. “Is Mom in the bathroom?” “Sorry?” Daniel blinked. “Oh! Are you with Dad today?” the nurse concerningly tilted her head. “What? No…” Daniel shook his head. “It’s just me,” he sighed. “I’m the patient. I’m my own guardian.” This was the last time he ever made the mistake of scheduling with a pediatrician… “Oh…okay…?” the nurse answered in a long, drawn-out type of voice, like Daniel was being the weird one. “But wait– hey, could you take a look at this for me?” Daniel quickly said, scanning over the medical form. “What are some of these questions about? I just read this weird one and– hey!” The clipboard was gently taken from him as the nurse pulled up from her mid-squat to look over the page herself. “No guardian, huh…” she quietly commented, then turned back on her friendly-nurse expression when addressing Daniel again. “Don’t worry about this! I’ll take care of some of this, then the doctor’s gonna fill out the rest for you. Sounds good?” “Y-yeah, but…” Daniel said at a loss. “Now let’s not stand around for too long!” the nurse nodded her head, gently guiding Daniel in with a hand on the back of his head. Promptly the wooden gate swung shut with a click, and Daniel watched the nurse re-do the chain-link latch high above Daniel’s own head keeping it closed. He followed her to one of the rooms; each door a different color between red, green, orange, blue, and purple. Inside the green room was a small doctor’s office, set with a sink, a couple cabinets, an empty chair, and examination table spanning the width from one wall to the other. On top of that, more cutesy designs filled the room between splashes of primary color paint and smiling and laughing buckets of paint and brushes up to no good all over the walls of the room. “I’ll put this here…” the nurse said while she dropped the clipboard on a high shelf reserved for physician tablets and computers. Impossibly out of Daniel’s reach, then walked by Daniel and over to the cushioned counter, whisking out an unending sheet from a sturdy spool of wax paper bolted into the end of the examination table. “Can you get up all on your own?” the nurse stood back, asking before using her white sneaker-wearing foot to nudge a footstool in front of the table. “Y-yeah, I’m fine…” Daniel said, approaching the table without intending to use the stool, but… He felt his neck craning the closer he got, so he awkwardly stepped up onto the metal stool, swinging his leg up and making contact first with his knee, then pulling himself up the rest of the way. The room loudly crinkled and the wax paper beneath him rustled, folded and cracked as he settled in, only barely being at eye level now with the nurse. “Okay…!” the nurse said with a smile, strolling back over to the clipboard, taking the pen attached to it. “Uhm– sorry, excuse me?” Daniel spoke up. “Mhm?” the nurse attentively nodded. “Is…is everything here just…big?” “Big?” the nurse repeated in confusion, but smirking. “Yeah…uh, big. It just seems like everything is…well, big.” From the rooms to the chairs to the people here themselves. Everyone but Daniel… “Well, I guess you could say it’s all big, yeah,” the nurse nodded with a giggle before going back to the paper. Obviously they weren’t on the same page… “Okay, Danny, we’re just gonna check some simple stuff before I call in the doctor, okay?” “Yeah, sure, that’s fine,” Daniel sighed, simply wanting this odd experience to be over with. “Great,” she said, then started sampling tools from the counter with the sink. First she checked his ears with a plastic nozzle probe. He could feel the warmth radiating from the light in his ear. “This ear looks good…” She gently leaned him to the other side by the shoulders, then checked the other. “This one too…” Daniel quietly obeyed, letting her even go through the process of checking his blood pressure. “Has Summer been fun?” the nurse asked, and Daniel blinked out of his trance. “Sorry? Summer?” “Yeah, Summer!” the nurse chuckled. “Got a lot of freetime, don’t ya? Trips to the park, maybe late night video games…!” “Well, maybe over the weekends…?” Daniel shrugged, ignoring the growing pressure on his right bicep. “Mostly work, though.” “What?!” the nurse exclaimed with a laugh, like she was humoring a reaction to something outrageous. “What do you mean work? It’s Summer! School doesn’t start up again for a whole more month!” “School…?” Daniel frowned. “No, I’m not in college– I work full time.” “I didn’t think you were in college either, silly,” the nurse chuckled. “All I’m saying is that you should probably be focused a lot more on having fun! Summer’s only once a year!” She undid the strap over his arm and walked back over to the form to fill some more information out. “Danny, can you please hop off the table for me? I need you over here.” Daniel complied, ignoring the liberal use of his name, and saw waiting for him around the corner of the sink counter was a weight and height scale. The ruler measuring his height was bright yellow and dotted with orange spots, wiggling and waving as the scale extended and the overhead ornament used to level with the patient's head was a smiling giraffe… “Oh! You can take your shoes off first,” the nurse quickly held him back with a hand over his chest before he could step on. Daniel complied before stepping back on. “And no tippy-toes, please!” the nurse advised while guiding Daniel’s posture to stand up straight. If there was anything sane or “normal” to come out of this entire endeavor, it was at least the numbers reported on the scale. “Five-foot-nine… One-hundred-thirty-nine pounds…” the nurse mumbled as she jotted down the information. “Okay! You can step off.” At least Daniel knew who he still was. It truly was just a strangely massive clinic. Was it a specialty one catering to unusually tall people? He had no clue, but all the desire to get out of here. “Okay, Danny, I think that I’ve got mostly everything here…” the nurse summarized, checking between her own notes and the odd patient form that Daniel started with. “One last bit, though! There’s this bit at the top of the sheet that tells us the name of the parent or guardian who should be filling this out for you,” she looked up from the page. “Do you know Mom’s full name so I can write it down?” “What?” Daniel blinked. “N-no, that’s… That’s what I was trying to figure out with the receptionist or whatever. I know it’s a little weird that I’m coming here at my age, but I’m twenty years old– I don’t need any guardian.” “Oh wow!” the nurse awed, but to Daniel it sounded like a babysitter humoring her kid of the night’s pretend play. “That’s a big number! Well, Danny, I can tell you that I know plenty of other 20 year old boys your age don’t know their mom’s full names either, and that’s okay!” She set down the clipboard, leaving Daniel at a loss for words as she put her hand on the doorknob. “Dr. Elina will be in here in just a few minutes, okay? Can you be a big help by getting down to your undies for her, please?” She waved one last time before leaving the room. “What the hell is up with this place…?” Daniel sighed, climbing back up to the examination table with a huff, then lifting one foot at a time, undoing the laces and kicking off his shoes. At least his age, weight, and height were consistent… Asking him to take his clothes off were too… Nothing was necessarily wrong with what the nurse did either, per say, and yet… Everything else around it was what he found off putting… How long had he been here for, even? Daniel stopped to pull out his phone, tapping the screen to bring it to life. “Half an hour already…” Daniel sighed, just about to put his phone away before noticing an unfriendly icon pinging on the corner of his notifications. No bars, or any kind of service for that matter. He frowned, checking for any kind of internet connection, of which he had none of, apparently. Knowing full well that his bills were freshly paid, he looked around the room and its generic popout tile ceiling with as much skepticism as he could imagine for a normal medical building, but of course it didn’t add up. What normal clinic in the middle of a busy complex in the heart of a city had trouble with phone reception? There was a brisk knock on the door from the outside, lasting only a second before a new figure stepped inside the room. “You must be Danny?” A soothing voice spoke before she could even close the door. The doctor wearing glasses and sporting a blonde bob haircut gave him a friendly smile as it clicked shut. She was a refreshing escape from the florals and pastel colors. To a small degree she was in fact out of place here– looking almost too doctorly. A white coat and muted color shirt underneath. She was in slacks and simple flats. Those along with of course the signature stethoscope draped around her neck. “Uh, yeah…nice to meet you…” Daniel said, going quiet as the doctor set herself up. “And this is…your patient form,” Dr. Elina commented simply, scanning over the page with a resting smile. With her other hand holding a tablet and small lunchbox-sized container, she set her own items aside. She turned her head to face Daniel. “Are you nervous at all? Everything okay?” The question felt strangely targeted but also out of left-field. Daniel gave her a weird look. “Uhm…I think I’m fine? …Don’t know why I wouldn’t be?” “Okay,” Dr. Elina nodded, smiling. “That’s good! It’s okay if you were nervous; sometimes boys can be a little worried about meeting the big old bad doctor!” she chuckled, and Daniel took too long to debate whether he should laugh back. “So this is for your yearly physical, yes?” “Uh yeah, that’s correct.” Daniel nodded. “Mhm,” Dr. Elina nodded again, busy sifting through her tablet. “Mhm…and…okay. Good. Good!” She looked at him again. “And sweetie– can you take your pants off for me? Do you need help?” The question was blunt, and admittedly a bit condescending the way it reached Daniel’s ears. He made a face. “Uh, no…I can take them off…” Daniel said, slowly undoing the button on his jeans. “Good job,” Dr. Elina commented, like it was customary to praise a child for doing something so simple. “Shirt too, please?” Daniel did the same, until finally he was naked save for his briefs. “Now Danny, I’m going to–” Daniel interrupted, and Dr. Elina stopped on a dime. “Uhm, sorry, but maybe if I could just check something first?” Dr. Elina paused, then morphed into a smile. “Of course honey, what is it?” “I know I might look…small, or whatever, or that this place is just weirdly big, but– I just wanna clarify that I’m 20 years old.” “Uh-huh?” Dr. Elina nodded understandingly. “Yeah, so… So I know it’s a little weird of me to be coming to a pediatrician like this…” “Oh, honey, it’s nothing weird at all?” Dr. Elina refuted with a concerned frown. “It’s…not?” Daniel asked confusedly. “Of course not!” Dr. Elina chuckled. “Do you have a sister?” “A sister? No, I’m an only child…” Daniel said. “Oh, then in that case, maybe a friend who has a sister–” the doctor said, then continued. “20 is definitely that age where boys start to wonder why they keep seeing the same doctor since they were a little bit younger, but it’s perfectly normal. Yes, it’s typically around 18 or so that you might start seeing young women around your age moving on to grownup doctors, but that’s because we know that boys and girls aren’t the same in a lot of ways, right?” She paused like a kid’s cartoon waiting for their viewer to talk to the screen. “...Right,” Daniel answered. “Right!” Dr. Elina nodded encouragingly. “So there’s no need to be worried or concerned about if you’re in the right place, sweetheart. We deal with plenty of boys your age, and also quite a bit older!” “Okay…but uh, maybe at the end of this I could get some referrals to a…grownup doctor? Just in case?” Daniel asked. “Well…” Dr. Elina’s mouth went a bit sideways. “We can figure that out after your checkup, okay?” “Yeah, sure…” Daniel sighed, not exactly enthused over having another one of his concerns deferred. “Oh, and Danny? One other thing,” Dr. Elina started, “Just so we both are on the same page, I know this sounds silly, but– Can you tell me the name of this place?” Daniel frowned once more. Was this some kind of minimum cognitive function test, or something? “Uhm…yeah? PediaPros?” Though he omitted the part where he questioned the “pro” part of the name… “That’s the name, isn’t it?” “...Yes it is!” Dr. Elina nodded, smiling down at her tablet as she continued scribbling. “Thank you for answering that! Okay. Let’s get started then!” Dr. Elina hummed as she approached Daniel, taking off her stethoscope and fixing it on her ears. Only now was her massive chess hiding behind her shirt and jacket coming into full view for Daniel. Another giantess drawing her breasts right up to his eyes as the cold suction-cup like pad was pressed against his chest. “Can you take a nice deep breath for me, please?” Dr. Elina asked, and Daniel complied. A couple seconds went by. “...And deep exhale.” All the air left Daniel’s lungs. “Good job,” Dr. Elina calmly remarked. “Let’s try that again.” So they did, until Dr. Elina swapped over to his back, repeating the same with acceptable results. “Breathing is nice and healthy. I like the sound of those lungs,” Dr. Elina commented. “Uhm…thanks?” Daniel said back awkwardly, earning a small chuckle from the doctor. A few more rudimentary tests went on, from tapping his knees for reflexes and checking the inside of his mouth, and so on… “Okay…” Dr. Elina finished writing a few more notes. “Now Danny, I’m going to move on to a few more very important tests, okay?” “...Yeah, okay?” Daniel nodded. “Does it change when you turn 20, or something?” “Not quite,” Dr. Elina said, “when you turn 18. But I imagine your previous doctor didn’t do these kinds of tests. It’s not uncommon for boys from your background, but luckily you’re here now so we know what to look out for!” “Right…” Daniel nodded, still unsure. “Now I don’t want you to be nervous, but I’m going to need to check your big boy parts, okay?” “Oh, yeah…” Daniel already started laying down on the table. Something he wasn’t ever really enthusiastic about when it came to these check-ups… Something about having a male doctor in a way made him feel less uncomfortable, or at least, not as… A shadow of hanging breasts strained in a shirt coupled with a female doctor’s smile loomed over him. There was a slight tingle in his crotch. Aroused… Dr. Elina was deliberate, slow, and delicate. She gingerly slipped her gloved fingers beneath the waistband of his underwear, lifting his hips ever so slightly off the table as she rolled his waistband down, tugging his underwear down and down… Down and down… “Uhm…” Daniel nervously spoke up. He was used to a “flash” or quick check– not a full-on strip search as far as this part went…! “Don’t worry, everything’s fine,” Dr. Elina assured, and by this point Daniel’s full crotch was exposed, dick, balls, and all. His briefs were bunched and gathered down at his thighs, leaving him totally exposed and uncovered. The only partial shroud he had was his pubic hair… “Mm…” Dr. Elina commented, staring and studying his genitalia intently. Daniel watched with a nervous heartbeat as he tried to keep himself composed, and especially remain limp… But an electric tingle gave him goosebumps when Dr. Elina’s latex finger lightly brushed a few of his curly hairs. “Danny, do you know what the term H.A.C.K. means?” “Like…computer hacking…?” Daniel asked with an unsure look. What was she even talking about? “Not quite,” Dr. Elina chuckled. She gently patted his bare chest before stepping away. “Just lay right there for me, okay? I can explain.” Daniel did as he was told, although he watched Dr. Elina rummaged through the top cabinets above the sink, pulling out a few different items. One however was a tall metal can with a head like a soap dispenser. He watched a mint green foam-like cream pile into her hand, almost like a mix between shaving cream and foamy hand soap. She came back over, and Daniel was expecting some kind of prompt, but he lurched forward out of reflex the moment she smothered his crotch in the lukewarm cream. “It’s not cold, is it?” Dr. Elina asked him casually as she sensually and carefully rubbed the cream around his privates, only brushing against his penis lightly and circling away at every moment they came into contact. “It…it’s not…but…” Daniel murmured, trying to suppress an erection. “Wh-why are you doing this– e-exactly?” “Well, Danny, the term H.A.C.K. actually means a few different things, and the first is H for hygiene, or hair,” Dr. Elina explained, continuing her general rubbing motions. “It’s not uncommon for boys your age to have pubes, or hair that grows around the penis and balls. It’s perfectly natural, but it can also be a bit problematic.” “Problematic…?” Daniel asked, trying to ignore the brushing sensations near his dick. “Yes. Pubes tend to shed or fall off like normal hair on our heads in day-to-day life, except pubic hairs are a little less hygienic because they grow around the spots where you pee-pee from, and also where some other grown up stuff can come out of your penis. It’s also trapped in your undies all day where sweat can accumulate, and may not be washed as properly like the hair on your head is during a shower or bath. Sometimes it can be itchy for boys down there too, making them scratch spots where their hands really shouldn't be, as well as allowing odor to accumulate.” Daniel watched Dr. Elina tug a wipe from a nearby dispenser, slowly combing across the foamy mess on his crotch. Then he looked increasingly concerned as he saw the results left over. “So that’s why the H in H.A.C.K. stands for hair removal.” “W-wait! My pubes!” Daniel shouted in shock. Every speck of cream had been wiped away, but so too was all his hair…! He looked spotless! Like there was never a follicle to begin with…! “Nice and clean!” Dr. Elina remarked with a smile, balling up the wipe now that Daniel could see was stained in cream but also covered with likely hundreds of squiggly and curly hairs…! “That should last you for about half a year before we’d need to apply any cream again.” “Wh-what the fuck…?!” Daniel spoke up in an outrage, immediately sitting back up. “Ah-ah!” Dr. Elina tutted, forcing him back down. “Danny, let’s behave, okay? I’m sorry if I surprised you like that, but I can promise you that this is perfectly normal, okay?” “What doctor gets rid of my fucking pubes during a physical?!” Daniel shouted. “A doctor who cares about your wellbeing very much,” Dr. Elina insisted. “I promise that I won’t do anything to hurt you, Daniel. I’m sorry if you feel upset, but that’s a perfectly normal reaction. Is it okay if I continue?” “What– are you gonna shave my head next?!” Daniel spoke defensively. “I promise you I will do no such thing,” Dr. Elina assured him. “Are you okay now? Can we continue?” What the fuck was wrong with this place? And this doctor…?! “This is insane…” Daniel openly muttered, forgetting any sense of subtleties. “Wait just one second,” Dr. Elina said, leaving the table for another moment. Daniel watched her like a hawk this time, trying to discern danger so he could make for a sprint to the door at a moment’s notice. She was crouched this time underneath the sink and pulled out a plastic cube containing a…teddy bear? “Here he is…!” Dr. Elina smiled, pulling the bear out of its container. “This is a very special helper of mine. His name is Mr. Disty.” “I’m not interested,” Daniel said, faintly hearing her fiddle with a zipper on his back. “That’s okay, but if it’s alright, I’d like it if he kept me some company,” Dr. Elina said, setting the bear right between Daniel’s head and the wall. “But if you’d like, you’re more than welcome to hang on to him for me?” “I’m fine,” Daniel said firmly, crossing his arms. “Can we get this over with already?” “...Of course we can,” Dr. Elina answered kindly in turn. “Now the A for H.A.C.K. stands for arousal. Do you know what that means?” “Yeah, like having an erection…” Daniel sighed, finding it not so hard to suppress an erection when he was rightfully pissed. “That’s correct!” Dr. Elina praised, and Daniel sighed, closing his eyes and listening to the quiet hum in his head. “This next test is another very important one. It’s conducted at every boy’s yearly physical once they turn 18. It’s called CARE for short,” Dr. Elina explained as she put on a single odd-looking glove, leaving the other hand bare. They looked latex or rubbery, but covered in…tendrils? Malleable nubs similar to the texture of a dusting glove or something similar… “That's what the C is in H.A.C.K. Kind of silly, but it’s an acronym within an acronym. It stands for: Controlled Arousal Response Evaluation. A bit fancy, but all you have to do is relax, okay?” “O…kay…” Daniel answered strangely, now watching the doctor. She produced another bottle and squirted a liberal amount of see-through gel into the glove. It was a runny substance that quickly seeped and dripped down and through the tendrils. He watched her one-handedly fish out a phone from her pocket with the ungloved hand and tap through her screen. Daniel’s eyes started to wander, landing back on the woman’s large chest…thinking about her naked breasts…wondering maybe…what kind of underwear she was wearing underneath? What color was her bra…? A lukewarm, textured grip suddenly had him by the dick. He gasped as he turned his head and saw Dr. Elina’s gloved hand envelop his penis entirely in a slimy, bumpy and wriggly hold…! “Do the best you can…okay?” Dr. Elina said with a simple smile, slowly starting to lift with her snug squeeze, stretching and taking Daniel’s dick along with it, until… squirt! A wet squelch as she quickly and suddenly pumped her hand back down…! A jolt reached his heartbeat, a pump of blood ran through his check, down through his arteries and straight into his crotch…! “Just like that…” Dr. Elina whispered, and Daniel’s breathing went heavy as the tugged and lifted– squelch! Back down again. Wet, slimy. Frictionless. Squeeze, hold, hug… He was rock hard before he even knew it. The squeeze, the pressure, the tightness..,! Up! Down! Up Down! The doctor’s hand moved like a machine and an uncontrollable urge to burst and unload was hitting Daniel’s dick at a frightening speed. Dr. Elina’s pace with her hand was irregular– unpredictable. First it was slow, then it was fast. Then it was medium– until it was fast again. Faster…faster…faster…! Fast–! A small gasp erupted from Daniel as he felt it all unload. His face went flush the moment he ejaculated into the doctor’s glove, adding more slime and substance to the sticky and wet mess that his deflated penis was now sandwiched in. “And time~!” Dr. Elina calmly remarked, tapping the screen of her phone. “That puts you at…almost 30 seconds!” Dr. Elina nodded affirmatively at her screen before letting go of Daniel’s dick covered in his own fluids and the translucent gel. She carefully took off her glove and set it in a designated waste bin before entering information on her tablet. “Wh…what…” Daniel tried to catch his breath, unsure of what to think or how to feel, “What does that mean…? Is…is that good…?” “Good?” Dr. Elina repeated from her screen, sounding uncertain of the question. “Mm…Well, sweetheart, everyone goes at their own pace, right? Everyone’s different, so don’t worry about that, okay?” “R-right…” Daniel sighed, winded and looking up at the ceiling, drowning in the sound of the hum. Did…did my doctor just jack me off…? “Now let’s get this little buddy all cleaned up…” Dr. Elina used a few more wipes to clean off Daniel’s crotch and make him dry once again. Not once did he speak or complain. He was totally resigned, feeling weak and limp. Tired. “Oh?” Dr. Elina quietly remarked. Without asking, Daniel shivered the moment he felt a new latex glove gently inspect his balls, gently massaging and moving them, and lastly lightly pinching or gripping the upper end of his shaft, brushing the head and tugging a tiny bit. “Mm… Danny? Are you still awake, honey? You don’t have to open your eyes, but can you hear me?” “Y-yeah…” Daniel commented, curling his toes. He stretched his arms out and brushed against something that felt soft and cuddly. Instinct compelled and his left arm snatched a soft body nearby, bundling it against his chest. “I just cleaned up your penis, but it seems like there was still a little leftover that still needed to leak out. Now can you be very honest with me? Sometimes when you go pee-pee on the big boy toilet, do you not always get it all out? Maybe you dribble a little bit in your undies when you stand back up, or a little bit later?” Dribbles…? Yeah…maybe a tiny bit… “Mhm…” Daniel nodded, snuggling against the cozy, furry friend. “Okay, thank you for being honest with me. That was very responsible of you.” He listened to the hum, snuggled the teddy bear, and kept his eyes closed as the faint sounds of Dr. Elina working around the room occasionally reached his ears, and soon he heard her come back to the table. “Now Danny, I don’t want you to think that you failed the CARE exam, okay? Every boy does differently, and all that means is we just need to react accordingly. The time you lasted is well within average expectations, meaning that your arousal levels are perfectly expected for your age. That also means however you qualify for what’s called an arousal modulation device.” “Uh-huh…” Daniel answered with his eyes closed. “I’m gonna put some gel on your privates that might feel a little cold for a few seconds, but it’ll go away real fast, okay?” “Yup…” he said through a yawn. True to the doctor’s word, the gel was cold, and Daniel did open his eyes. He watched her fiddle between his legs, pinching the excess skin around his balls, which he certainly felt for all of half a second before it felt like…nothing. He felt pressure, so to speak and the activity between his legs, but in terms of direct feeling he registered nothing as he watched Dr. Elina squeezed not only his balls but also his penis through a snug green ring. Her gestures again were surgical as she tested and checked the fitness of the ring that was as far back as it could go– to the base of his dick and stem of his testicals. All the while, Daniel’s entire nether region felt completely numb. Nonexistent. “Now this might feel a bit snug at times, but it’s something you’ll get used to, okay?” Dr. Elina explained with the next piece. Another green item that looked like a hollow sphere that was cut in half, dotted with holes along the dome and a vertical slit down the middle. He watched her grab the base of his penis and place the green shell against it like it was a helmet, funnily enough. Then he watched curiously as she slowly compressed his limp dick, further and further until meager length changed into moderate width, turning into a compressed and packaged nub, totally captured by the green shell that met with the green ring. It was like watching a different body, as he couldn’t feel a single thing down below. Was that this dick? Could it really fit in a space so small and tiny? “Then we hold it all together with this…” Dr. Elina explained as she produced a small key with a cylinder attached to the end. It conveniently slid perfectly into a single long hole formed by the perfect alignment between the shell covering Daniel’s dick and the ring behind his balls. The kid and cylinder went in perfectly, and Dr. Elina turned the key, smoothly pulling it back out, but leaving the metal cylinder behind. Her other hand let go of the shell of the cage, but the green nub didn’t fire away. His dick didn’t uncompress and push it off. Or maybe it’s just that it…couldn’t? The ring didn’t budge either. Curiously, Daniel’s hand wandered and drifted to the green device affixed on his crotch, feeling the hard and rigid smooth shell covering his privates that’d now been miniaturized. It was almost like a…cage? “Does it hurt?” Dr. Elina asked, smiling as she fixed a small chain around her neck, slipping the key that dangled from it beneath her shirt. “No…” Daniel shook his head. Was he missing something? Was it supposed to hurt? When was the numbing gel supposed to wear off? He squeezed Mr. Disty. “Good!” Dr. Elina nodded approvingly. “It’s perfectly normal for boys your age to need an arousal modulation device, so it’s nothing to be ashamed of. And a year from now we’ll do another CARE test to see how things might have changed.” “A…year…?” Daniel asked distantly, but Dr. Elina was gone again, but not far away. She was this time crouched right in front of the examination table and going through the cabinets underneath. “And lastly…K,” Dr. Elina stood back up with a white rectangular bottle, and a patterned square covered in multicolored polka dots. Daniel watched quietly as she set the items aside, first tending to Daniel’s underwear still bunched around his thighs, snaking them off him completely. “Now because of what I observed after administering your CARE exam, and you also mentioned that you’re dealing with dribbles after going potty,” Dr. Elina explained as she unfolded the rectangle– a cushy-looking diaper, “it sounds like you’re experiencing common symptoms from another common case from most boys in general known as UBS, or underdeveloped bladder syndrome. It’s nothing to worry about, but in general this can mean that the muscles in your pee-pee aren’t quite where the rest of your body would like them to be. That means you can be prone to leaks or letting out a little bit of extra stuff you either didn’t get out of your system, or couldn’t hold back long enough in order to reach a toilet. That’s where these guys come in.” “A…diaper…?” Daniel asked. He was feeling lucid enough to understand the strangeness in his doctor, currently lifting both his legs in the air by the ankles, but not aware enough to actually be pushing back. Instead, he simply registered the crinkle and soft cushion his bottom was lowered onto. “That’s right, honey, a diaper,” Dr. Elina nodded. “Typically boys in this world aren’t potty trained. Some are– though most don’t make it, or the few that do are likely to relapse. So color me surprised when I saw you with your very own big boy undies!” Dr. Elina suddenly cooed, lightly tapping Daniel on the nose. And the touch made him feel…funny? Giggly? “Oop– and let’s say bye-bye to Mr. Distractions, okay? I think that I left him on for a bit too long…” Dr. Elina said to herself, gently disarming Daniel and fiddling with the bear again before putting him back away. Daniel was all relaxation as Dr. Elina sealed the deal by drawing up the front of the diaper and taping it into place, packing his privates in even further, leaving a slight pressure that the numbness persisting below wouldn’t allow him to fully register. “There we go~!” Dr. Elina smiled over him. “Does that feel better now? Huh? Does Danny feel all good now?” “Mm…yeah…” Daniel nodded, stretching his legs with a rustling crinkle that came from more than just the wax paper. “Good!” Dr. Elina chuckled, strolling back over to her tablet and the green clipboard. The humming Daniel was listening to was gone, except replaced by a much more organic tune– Dr. Elina’s hums by her workstation. Just as Daniel was sitting up, feeling a fog slowly starting to clear in his head, Dr. Elina came back over with the clipboard in hand. Once she reached the table she turned around in place and carefully sat up on the table with Daniel, then set the clipboard aside for only a second so she could gently deposit him into her lap. “Danny, could you please take a look at this for me?” Daniel watched Dr. Elina pulled the clipboard back into view. It was the form that Daniel had started with, only now it not only had his penmanship on it, but also the nurse’s, and now Dr. Elina’s doctorly scribbles too. “Can you read that name at the top for me, please?” Dr. Elina asked. “Uhm…” Daniel scanned the top of the page, but a slight warmth forming between his legs was a little distracting. “Pedia…Pals?” “Ope– uh-huh, that does say PediaPals,” Dr. Elina nodded with a chuckle. “But nope! Can you read…this for me, please?” She slowly traced her finger from the field with Daniel’s name, all the way over to the right where the other blank one– or…no, where the one with a name written on it was. “Joeanne…Elina?” Daniel read the name, though the significance of it wasn’t exactly striking him. “Uh-huh!” Dr. Elina said in an elated voice, squeezing Daniel in her lap. “And you know, Danny? That’s the end of your physical!” “Finally…” Daniel sighed, rubbing the front of his head. Wait…what did he just read again? “Now let’s go bring this back to the nice lady in the front room, okay?” “Sounds good…” Daniel went along with the same idea he was having in his head. He expected to hop down and walk his way out, but as Dr. Elina stood, so did Daniel, in a way, being glued to the doctor’s hip. They were going together? He lightly squeezed his legs and felt a fresh warmth heat the in-betweens of his legs. A potent nursery scent tickled his nostrils too. But between the sound of the examination room door opening and closing, he heard one last joyful remark underneath Dr. Elina’s breath. “And to think he’d be a Drop-In!” Find more fun story, DD lore, games, and art on my SubscribeStar! Otherwise, see you next time on here!

50 - When it Rains, It Pours “So no naps? None? Nada?” The voice was muffled, but that’s only because her consciousness was still fading into place. “If she had it her way then bed time would be up for debate too,” a very familiar voice chuckled right beside her ear, sounding like her head slowly shook helplessly. “Don’t ever try bribing her, though. The only thing she should be expecting for misbehaving are consequences, not rewards. That’s just for baby days, though!” “So this isn’t full-time, then?” The world was black, but Emily’s ears were working. She was awake but her eyes were closed. All she was doing was listening. “No, not really. We’re still partners. We just…tend to do this a lot. Unless there's a safe word, from sunrise till sunset diapers stay on from the moment we both agree to them.” A gentle hand was stroking the girl’s back and she was in sensual heaven. If only this could last forever…! “Wait, so…” Amy’s voice went quiet. “Does she ever get upset?” “Upset? Oh! You mean like a temper tantrum?” “If that’s what we’re calling it,” Amy giggled, “sure?” Suddenly this wasn’t so fun to listen to anymore… “Mmm…I wouldn’t quite say that just yet. But again, if she was ever really mad or upset, she’d handle that in a way you’d understand. And wait, actually– Mm…yeah, nope, never mind. We’ve definitely dealt with a few tantrums before! Like this one time, Emily had to go to the dent–” “It wasn’t a tantrum!” Emily erupted from the couch. Her upper half shot upright with a displeased look There she was, supposedly Emily’s most favorite person in the world, squatting right by her side where she was supposed to be waking her up from a nap. Not telling stories about her! “Is this gonna be one too?” Joyce was all grins and laughs, and even Amy from slightly afar was smirking as well. Love is a weird thing, because despite the backstabbing behavior Emily was already hanging her upper half around Joyce in a tight hug. “I missed you so much!” Joyce put to words what Emily channeled through feeling. “Were you talking about me?” Emily mumbled into her shoulder. “You could have stopped it,” Joyce squeezed her arm. “I know what a munchkin pretending to sleep looks like…” She knew?! Emily blinked, certainly caught and had, but she hugged Joyce anyway. “I missed you…” Emily whispered sheepishly. “And I missed you even more,” Joyce said as she stood and slid Emily back on the couch, sitting right beside her. “Did you just get here?” Emily with a blanket still over her lap slid right against her girlfriend. “About fifteen minutes ago, I think.” “And you didn’t wake me up?” “Just because I show up, that doesn’t excuse you from your naps,” Joyce openly disapproved, and somehow the line between equals and submissive and dominant were back to being blurred. “I wasn’t taking a nap!” Emily tried for a rebuttal, but there wasn’t a single face in the room that looked even remotely inside her camp. “I– I was just sleeping for a second!” And as she laughed, Joyce grabbed her by the shoulders and smothered the top of her head with a loud kiss. “Want something to drink?” Joyce asked, and Emily simply nodded. “Okay. Amy said you should still have some juice left, so let’s get that.” The couple rose to their feet, but the moment they stood and the blanket fell, Emily had half a second to process the consequences and grabbed her shroud in a hurry. Joyce turned and tilted her head while Amy walked ahead to the kitchen, but it didn’t make their oncoming exchange any more private. “What,” Joyce chuckled, “did you suddenly get chilly?” “N-no, I…” Crap! Use that as an excuse, dummy! Too late now. “It’s…soft…is all.” “Well you can get cozy with me by the counter. Let’s not drag Amy’s blankets all over the floor.” And just to force the issue a little bit more, “Besides, I don’t want you spilling anything on her stuff either.” “It’d come out in the wash~!” Amy offered from afar, but Emily’s ray of hope was nothing more than a flash in the pan. “Not the point!” Joyce said right back. “Emily’s spilled something once on our couch already!” “That was one time!” Emily butt her own voice in, especially upset to have that stain on her record be used against her for the umpteenth time. How could Joyce get to keep re-using that?! Wasn’t there supposed to be an expiration date on crimes, or something? But the mini debate was effectively over and the result was clear, but Emily’s hands still hung on the edge of the blanket, still yet to follow the victor’s orders. “Emily? Put the blanket back, please.” “But…” she looked over Joyce’s shoulder and could see Amy pouring her thermos into a cup. Her worries showed on her face and her body language beckoned for Joyce to come forward. So she did with a smile and leaned in her ear for a whisper. “I…I’m wearing one and I don’t want Amy to see…!” Joyce pulled her ear and head away, just so her charge could see the sheer look of disbelief on her face. “You don’t want her to see?” Joyce asked a little bit louder than Emily would have liked, but she slowly nodded. “You really are too much for your own good, you know that? C’mon, gimme a hug~!” It was a little awkward making the maneuver, but Emily was soon embraced by her partner as they had their arms around each other. The blanket was hands-free, pinned by their legs pressing on either side. But alas, the mutual standing was lost as hands suddenly appeared underneath Emily’s thighs and her feet left the floor. “J-Joyce!” Emily gasped as she already leaned out for the discarded cover on the ground, but it was far out of reach now. “Why do you always get so hung up over the silliest things?” Joyce playfully scolded, but once her fingers brushed against the leg bands of what she had yet to fully see, she turned her head out. “And what kind of diaper did…!” Amy’s head turned once Joyce made the noise, and Emily immediately ducked for cover by hiding in her girlfriend’s shoulder. “Amy! What is this?!” Emily had her eyes shut, desperate to run off to dreamland again, but she felt them turn and move towards the kitchen, all the while her padded bottom was advertised like some broadside billboard. “One of my newest creations!” Amy smugly grinned. “Is…is it a disposable?” Joyce couldn’t hide the curiosity, but she wished her arms weren’t full just so she could touch, test, and admire the foreign trinket. “Sorry, but my skills are with cloth, not plastics,” Amy shrugged. “It’s a cloth diaper I put together.” “Joyce…please…!” Emily begged with a mumble, but all she got were kisses and squeezes. “How long are you gonna hold her? Girl’s gotta drink, you know,” Amy said expectantly, and suddenly Emily was losing her last bit of cover. “W-wait! No! I-I wanna…!” The words were hard to find when even she didn’t know what she herself wanted. Yes, sure, Amy put her in the diaper she was wearing, meaning obviously she had seen her in it, but did the two adults in the room have absolutely zero concept of just what a nap could do to a person? Yes, it recharged her energy and emotions, which is exactly why she had it in herself to be embarrassed all over again! She flinched when a hand dropped on her shoulder, and it was Amy chatting casually, “Y’know, Em, at least with cloth diapers you can accessorize.” She then made a pointed look at Joyce, taunting in a sing-song voice. “Disposables don’t really offer much for color combos…!” “This is nice…” Joyce admitted, rubbing her baby’s shoulder as she lightly tapped the bright snap-buttons. “But I like disposables too much. Won’t these get stuffy in the summer or when it’s hot?” While it may have included Emily, the way Joyce literally said it right over her head seemed to imply that it didn’t. “More than likely, but it doesn’t have to be a 24/7 thing– or a thing at all. I made it for fun! Isn’t that what you’re paying me to do? And you,” Amy suddenly grabbed Emily and tugged her away. She turned and swiped something off the counter and shoved it in Emily’s hands. “Have something to drink.” “Uhm…thanks…” Emily awkwardly moved into a seat, and Joyce was watching with a frown above her folded arms. “It doesn’t make noise,” she accused Amy. “That’s because it’s mainly cloth. There’s a water-proof cover though, so yes it does.” “Then that’s why disposables are better.” “Do you want her bum to stick out like a sore thumb?” Are they arguing…? In spite of being flung into the spotlight, somehow the thing around her waist had become the focus. Nevertheless, it sort of felt like she was spared, so the shy girl resigned herself to her glass of juice. “That’s what makes it so cute, doesn’t it? I like the look of her diapers now. It’s…you wouldn’t get it.” “Wouldn’t get it, or are you just having a hard time explaining it?” Amy raised her eyebrow. “Yes. Both,” Joyce scoffed. “It’s like…like– no matter what she wears or does, her diapers are non-negotiable, right? I like designing around Emily’s look, and her diapers are baked into that. If you’re making the necessities a fashion point, it…” “Feels less genuine?” Amy shrugged with her mouth. “Yes!” Joyce exclaimed with a smile, but quickly tightened up her expression. “B-but…that doesn’t mean we can’t use diapers like that… I’d just prefer to stay in disposables.” Amy let out a great sigh with her face hiding behind her hand. “You know, I feel like if nothing else, today’s opened a door for me to see just how particular you are about these things…” The seamstress strolled around the counter for her mug. Emily, who was trying to stay small, was suddenly asked by her, “You really deal with this 24/7?” “Excuse me?” Joyce edged her tone, Amy laughed, and Emily was left unsure. “What? Am I not allowed to get her opinion?” the woman defensively held up her hands. “Yes, you are, but don’t badmouth me in the process!” Joyce sounded in a voice of disbelief. Maybe getting up from my nap was a bad idea… Emily had herself another quiet sip. “Or in other words: a moot point…” Amy mumbled, and Joyce arched in annoyance just a few degrees more. “Just because Emily let you in, don’t think that gives you a pass with me…!” Joyce warned, and Amy pretended to be the fearful fiend. “J…Joyce…!” Emily started to speak up, but the supposed flames were raging just a little too hard. “Joyce, sounds like you’re having a temper tantrum,” Amy laughed innocently, “maybe you need a nap, huh?” “And maybe you need a timeout!” “A…Amy…!” Emily tried for the other end of the stick, but neither one was budging. “If you’re just gonna argue with me,” Joyce went on, “Maybe I’ll just find someone else to make Emily’s clothes!” “Oh yeah?” Amy rolled her eyes. “And who’s gonna do them as cute as I can?” “St-stop!” Emily raised her voice one final time, and it was finally enough for both women to notice her outburst. The actors on stage turned their heads to the audience, where Emily on her stool gave them both a discomforted look. “Stop fighting…!” she insisted with her hands wrapped anxiously around her glass. Both Amy and Joyce were quiet. Their long lashes fluttered as their mouths barely budged, sharing a neutral look with one another, possibly erring on confusion. But one sputter was all it took before both were laughing. “Sorry!” Amy giggled, “I think we got a little carried away…!” “I haven’t had to be stern with Emily in a bit, so it was kind of a fun chance…” Joyce scratched the side of her cheek with a sheepish grin. “W-wait, were you not fighting?” Emily stuttered, only realizing now just how much of a big misunderstanding there was. “Sorry if it looked like that,” Joyce came around just to hug her partner. “More like some aggressive teasing.” “Sounds like you had some things you wanted to get off your chest for real?” Amy delivered another dig at the woman who took it in stride. “And thanks for helping me burn off a little steam,” Joyce declared, looking oddly proud of herself, for some reason; like all she had left for Emily now were cuddles and kisses. “Sorry, Em, we weren’t fighting for real,” Amy explained, “just a little back-and-forth.” “O-oh…” Emily puffed aloud, then went back to her drink. Yet another misunderstanding… “But once you finish your juice we’re gonna get ready to go home,” Joyce announced, right as Ashes silently leapt onto the empty seat beside them. “Looks like somebody also just finished their cat-nap, huh?” And with just about as much favoritism as he had for Emily, Joyce’s affectionate pets were received by the cat no less pleasingly. “Oh, let me go get her stuff downstairs,” Amy said as she departed, and Emily went to follow. But Joyce slipped her back on the seat just as she started to leave. “Ah-ah! Juice first, then you can get down,” Joyce instructed as she brought the cup herself to Emily’s lips. “But I…” she paused to sip and swallow, “-I need to help Amy. It was my job to clean her space down there today. I’m still on the clock.” “Sweetheart,” Joyce smiled helplessly, “I think you went off the clock the moment you started your nap. Amy can handle it. Right now I just need all that juice in your tummy.” “Yeah, but…” she was still turning her head where she felt the need to go, but Joyce was suddenly in the way. It was obviously one of those moments where she was being forced to grow down, but the place was the problem. Was Joyce really trying to mommy her here? In Amy’s home? “So’d you have a good lunch today?” Joyce asked, moving the girl’s headspace along to other places. “Yeah…” she said distantly at first, “Yeah,” she said more resolutely. “Why’d you have to write my name like that, though…? Amy saw!” “Don’t give me that tone!” Joyce laughed, “It’s not like I wanted her to see either! Bet it makes you want a lunch box now, huh?” “No, it’d still be just as embarrassing!” Emily complained, practically throwing her upper half out of the seat. And yet despite being so dangerous and reckless, of course Joyce was right there to handle her by the hands. “You really are squirmy in a seat. Should we get Amy a high chair for her to use with you?” “No! Stop!” Emily complained, per se, all the while giggling. But the laughter died quickly as she went quiet. Joyce tilted her head curiously, but her smile came fast. “Emily, you’re in one. It’s okay; go.” Sixth senses were scary, and the fact that Emily couldn’t tell what she possibly could have done to signal her need to pee, and yet somehow Joyce still finding out was like a moment of horror itself. There was no denial, and there was no direct admission. Joyce looked down at the top of her head expectantly, and slowly Emily leaned against her girlfriend, her mommy, starting to grab at her blouse. “But…why here?” “Because it’s the same rules anywhere,” Joyce softly said. “You’re in a diaper, Emily. Cloth or disposable, they’re for the same thing.” Wet a diaper? In Amy’s house. Gross. Weird. Uncomfortable. “Hey…remember the first time we came here together?” Joyce sweetly reminisced. “After Amy took your measurements you came up here to hang out while Amy and I ironed out the details about some of your first outfits. You were wearing a diaper then, too. Remember?” Joyce certainly did. Those flimsy, no-good boring adult diapers… “Mm…” Emily nodded against her shirt, feeling the same kind of heat in her cheeks now that she remembered from that day. She needed to pee then just like she did now, diapered all the same. The rhythm was still vague and the experience was somehow even fresher and rawer than what she was going through now. Her debate to disobey or do as she was told ended right in front of the toilet, and ultimately on the floor where her wet bottom sat until they found her. It was just another one of those moments. She didn’t have the words, but she had all the feelings and mannerisms that wanted nothing more than something to hold on to. Joyce was warm and something to hide in. Something she could breathe easy with just to ride out the storm. Just until she found the courage, the strength, and the will to… “Get it all out?” Mommy’s voice was soft as she patted her little girl’s head. Emily tried not to make any noise, but she exhaled ever so slightly, trying her best to go completely mute. “Mm…mhm…” she muttered with a smothered face. Wetting wasn’t exactly a new thing for her anymore, but doing it in stressful situations was. She just… “closed up,” for lack of a better explanation. It was as if her “big girl” parts remembered how to function and the adult side of her still wanted to run the show. Giving up control was hard and never easy, and yet the sweet, wonderful feeling she felt once she did… Cloth was different, however. There wasn’t as much of a swell, and the wet feeling was far more prominent. It did just disappear like her usual diapers made it. After all, she could have tied a sweatshirt around her waist and between her legs and it would have felt the same, more than likely. Warm and wet, but somehow not leaking. Maybe that waterproof layer or whatever really did work. Amy…really is good at this… “Does it feel different?” Joyce asked quietly. “Yeah…” Emily mumbled back. “Better, though?” If Joyce wasn’t watching, she could have felt the girl shaking her head against her front instead. In a meek voice she admitted, “I like the other ones better…” “See?” Joyce chuckled. “You’re gonna have to tell Amy that! If anyone, she has to listen to you.” And let her know that she just reviewed her diaper in real time? The girl shuddered but Joyce held her steady with another laugh. “Okay, fine, we’ll tell her later. Just don’t hope she asks to take that back before we leave…” “Joyce!” Emily cried before she bit her lip, and her guardian only giggled more with another hug. “Don’t worry…! We’ll just say we need to confiscate it for…mmm…more extensive testing. How about that?” Though, where Joyce was short for excuses was on what exactly such “extensive testing” might be. As useful as diapers were, their uses were not many. A cutie like you only needs them for two related reasons… Joyce looked pitiful, but only for a moment. She turned her head as Amy came back in. “Did you want a bag for her clothes?” Amy came in with the girl’s folded lower half. “Oo- Sorry, I think I forgot something downstairs…” “It’s okay, Amy,” Joyce nodded her back in. “I just wanted to give Emily a hug. I’ve been needing this all day!” “Well start with that!” Amy huffed with a rising chest and falling set of clothes. “I thought Emily needed privacy.” “And what, I don’t?” Joyce took on an offended look. “Emily is my guest. You’re just the chauffeur,” she shrugged with disinterest, and all for Emily’s sake, Joyce continued to play her part. “Is that so? Well, I guess I better start acting like one and drive my little miss out of here.” Once Emily was on her feet she was covering her front as best as she could. Her feet were uneven as they fidgeted back and forth, but she did keep looking between Joyce and the counter. “Pants?” Joyce read her mind. Emily nodded. “Had I known this was gonna happen, something other than jeans probably would have made more sense…” she bit her lip as she imagined the slim pants somehow trying to fit over a bulky diaper. Either way, that didn’t stop her from trying to feed the jeans up Emily’s legs. “It feels tight…” Emily made an awkward, uncomfortable comment as the waist tightened around her own. The way it stretched and strived to conform to her added mass, it seemed she was pushing her pants to a dangerous limit. “We’ll undo it once we get in the car,” Joyce decided. “It’s just a quick walk down the sidewalk.” The last thing there was which she could easily pocket enough was her panties. Yet another pair put on an early vacation from their big-girl duties. “So, Em, think you can live working with me another day?”Amy rose to her feet with her cat bundled against her. “Oh! Right, your pay!” She was gone and back in time to fill the space her after-image had left. With a small set of bills in hand she thumbed through them. “One…two…three…six. That’s good for now, I’d say.” Emily accepted the bills, but she was still in silent surprise. “Th-this much…?” Emily muttered. “B-but I didn’t really do–” “Be a good girl and take my money!” Amy stepped forward just to force her fingers around the money. “Better yet,” she then undid the gesture and swiped the money back, handing it over to Joyce. “Make sure she keeps it?” “But I–” Emily tried to say, but failed. “-I will see you soon, is what I hope I’m hearing?” Amy interrupted with a smile. “I kept track of your hours, Em. You earned it, so don’t argue with your boss! And if it hasn’t already, it’s gonna be raining soon. Go home before you guys get caught in rainy traffic!” “The traffic part seems unavoidable at this point…” Joyce sighed as she kept the tempo and surprised Emily by draping a jacket over her shoulders. “Amy’s right, little monkey; let’s hop to it!” Joyce made for the door, but Emily lagged behind. She walked, but then she crawled, and finally inched to a stop. “...Amy?” “Forget something?” “No, I…” she fell flat on her own words. The things that she and Joyce were doing to her. Doing for her. Joyce knew exactly how much Emily appreciated it, because she had been thanked time and time again, and by now even Emily was starting to understand the weird and wondrous ways she could show gratitude to Joyce. Both women today had made themselves into distractions just to keep the girl in diapers sane. All thanks to Joyce, Emily’s worldview had been turned upside down and branching down paths that felt like the farthest things from reality. Her girlfriend, her lover, and her mommy. They connected in so many ways, and today, Emily got a glimpse of someone else that could channel those similar feelings. But it wasn’t a replacement or a substitution. An extension? It wasn’t the time or place to confront any of that though, because like everything in the beginning it was all just a fuzzy haze. It had yet to take shape or become any clearer, but all she needed to know was that the feeling was pleasant. “Thank…thank you for today. For…” her mouth made a difficult noise as her face started to contort. The words were in her head, but even then they were evaporating before they could reach the tongue. “Th-thank you for today! A-al…all of it. For all of it…!” she couldn’t even look her in the eye, and once she finished she immediately made for the exit, nearly rushing face-first into the door Joyce still had yet to open. She didn’t turn back and scurried down the stairs, but Amy was standing back with a difficult expression. And Joyce, hanging by the doorway still, smiled with a sigh and held up her hand. With just a thumb pointed to the ceiling, Amy felt the infectious feeling part her lips just to show her teeth. The mutual excitement was brief, however, because a new shock overtook the mommy. “Wait! Emily!” Joyce called, “We still need to get your shoes on! Do not get your socks wet!” And right before she gave chase she turned around one last time. “Amy, we’ll be in touch, okay? And as for the diaper, thanks for that too. Emily needs to uhm, well…” she looked the other way again, like time was of the essence. Fidgety little adult girls had a tendency of getting into naughty things without constant supervision, after all… “-Forget it. She wet it already and I need to wash it before giving it back. Gotta go! Bye!” Amy offered a small wave with a helpless laugh, but there was no one to receive it. While she could have seen them out, given Emily’s brave little gesture and her desperation to get away, maybe it’d be better to leave it like this. For once it wasn’t back to her workshop immediately. Instead, she strolled over to the couch, joined by her cat where she hummed softly. “Auntie…” Would she really agree…? “I was gonna wait for you,” Emily pouted in the passenger seat. They sat bumper-to-bumper under the downpour bouncing off the hood and roof of their and everyone else’s cars. “And yet lately with how mischievous you’ve been, I can’t help but feel the need to be extra cautious…” Joyce sighed, but smiled. “Busy day for you?” “Mm…” Emily nodded simply. “You too?” “A little,” Joyce twisted her words, “but nothing I couldn’t handle. I think the biggest parts were when you called me, you know?” “Sorry about that…” “Stop. Apologizing!” Joyce nudged her shoulder each time. “Do I need to somehow hypnotize the guilt out of you?!” “I’m not…! I will…!” Emily giggled. “I just…I dunno. I feel weird for doing all this… You said it was okay, but…I guess I kind of started it.” “And thank you for doing that,” Joyce chuckled with her eyes in front of her, and Emily blinked. “...Really?” “Really,” the driver nodded. “I’ve kind of talked about it with you before, but it was more like daydreaming, I guess… It’s hard. I never said I was serious, but I never said that some little part of me didn’t like the idea, either… It’s not realistic, and involving someone else in any real kind of way makes me nervous, so I didn’t ever want to really ask you about it.” And yet she technically did. “It wasn’t exactly what you asked for today, but I figured I’d try and push the envelope a little more… You were really okay with that?” “I mean…you gave me a chance to refuse…” Emily shifted in her seat, watching the rain roll down the window beside her. In not so direct words, Emily had the chance to stop all of it, “But I didn’t. I was scared.” “Does…does this have to do with you thinking you cheated?” “...Kind of…” Emily sulked with a mumble. “Emily, it wasn’t cheating, I promise.” “Then it was scary.” “Scary…? How?” “Because… I-I…I liked it,” she whimpered sorely. “I was scared because I didn’t know how to feel. It was weird because it wasn’t with you. You’re…you’re why I like this, Joyce. You’re…urgh, you’re my mommy!” and as serious as she was being, Joyce still couldn’t help but flutter from the tickle in her chest. “I love you…! I love you so much! A-and when I felt things…good things with another person…I-I thought…wh-what if I could be this way with someone else…?” her voice cracked, and the tears had them both taken aback. “Emily…sweetheart…” “And I don’t know why I feel like this…! I know how I feel…! I like Amy, but I love you! So…so it’s okay…but…I don’t like it! I liked it being us…just us…” But her body wasn’t listening. The scope was larger and her horizons stretched farther than she thought. The ‘R’ word frightened her the most. Replace. It was unthinkable, but her mind was trained to go to bad places in the midst of an emotional crisis. Joyce could be replaced. Of course she couldn’t, but Emily’s feelings for being babied weren’t exclusive anymore… Emily sniffled and hiccupped, wiping her tears, but Joyce wore a somber smile, briefly glancing to her right. “...Emily, could I be a little selfish for a second…?” “Wh-what…?” “I know the way you say it makes things seem scary. You’re worried because it seems like you can be a little girl for anyone, right? Emmy, baby, no matter what, I’m not going anywhere, okay? Nowhere that doesn’t include you.” Her hand quietly ran along the steering wheel. “I say this a lot, but I feel like I sort of have to preface this all over again. Emily, you’re your own person. No matter what I want from you, that’s all second to what you want. Being a big or little girl is one of those things. I’ll go as far as you let me, but you’re the one that always has full control.” “But I like–!” “But that being said,” Joyce took back the lead with a smile, “I daydream a lot. I imagine all the ways that things can progress or change… If things were to stay as they were now until the end of time, I’d be the happiest person in the world. You’ve already given me more than I ever thought I could ever possibly have, Emily. Every day we make any kind of progress, or just sink a little bit deeper…that’s all a bonus. Today for me was…a chance to let you be little, even when I wasn’t there. I don’t think it’s ever something I can really explain,” she chuckled sheepishly, “but in a selfish world, feeling like a mommy as much as I can makes me so happy…” A starry-eyed, dreamy look swept across her face as a land beyond reality stood far beyond the wet windshield. “Emily, the moment I knew that you liked being babied, I’ve wanted nothing more than to encourage that feeling and let it grow. I’m glad you feel like there’s someone else that you’re okay being little around. I know it’s going to sound silly, but…I don’t feel as nervous or jealous when I think about it like that…” W-were her ears working? Emily finished drying her red eyes as she stuttered aloud, “Come…come again?” Joyce? Not jealous? “Oh come on…!” Joyce moaned defensively, finally looking embarrassed herself. The fact how absurd she sounded was mutually recognized, and the dominant blushing herself made that clear. “Yes! I was not jealous for once…! I mean, I was…” she sighed, “but jealous about babying you is different. I specifically left you with Amy, and I’m the one who gave her permission. Unlike sharing my big girl, sharing my little one just feels…nice, in a way. I can go to work and you get to be with someone that understands you and lets you be yourself. So it’s not cheating, Emily. It’s the farthest thing from it. Kids get a lot of love from a lot of people, don’t they? They have aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters, grandparents and cousins, all on top of a daddy and mommy. Believe me, no one’s ever going to love you as much as I do, but I kind of like letting in others when it comes to being a little girl.” “So…you want me to be little around other people?” “I want what you want,” Joyce pivoted her point, “but it sort of sounds like you answered half the question for yourself today. If it’s safe, and it’s another way to bring out the little girl in you…I really do like the idea of expanding our circle. I’ll love you whether it’s a big girl day or a little one, but the more I can let you be the latter, the happier I am for letting you be what’s so much a part of our relationship… But it’s not everything; it doesn’t have to be. It makes me more happy than you can imagine how protective you are of what we have, but it’s not something you need to keep from other people? No one else is going to be your mommy, and no one else will try to be. Being a caregiver doesn’t mean having a new mommy, so please don’t be afraid to let yourself be little…okay?” Being little was all about downsizing issues and giving up responsibility. By now, Emily understood enough to know that it was meant to help her be carefree and embrace the simplicities, however that might be. And yet it couldn’t have felt any more complicated… But again, Joyce was trying to sort all her messes for her, and it did make sense. “What…what happens if I’m okay with it?” Saying it was far easier than doing. She still could hardly imagine it, but all that needed to be said was. “Then we do as we always do. We try things, take it nice and slow, find out what works, what doesn’t, and have lots of fun the whole time!” She shrugged, truly making it seem as simple as that. “I don’t want to change how we’ve been handling things, and I promise to keep my surprises safe, hence why we’re gonna continue to talk about bigger stuff like this. Sound good?” “Mm…” Emily nodded, back to her quiet, pensive self, and yet all felt right in the world again. “Now…” Joyce couldn’t help but grin, and the umpteenth red light was the perfect excuse to look right at Emily, “are you ready for the part that I think you might like?” “...What?” she asked in a tiny voice. “I know you were nervous, but you did like today, right?” Was it a second test she was somehow supposed to expect? Was there a right answer? “I said it’s okay, didn’t I? Be honest!” Joyce laughed. The second-guessing was written all over her face, and Joyce had no problem calling it out. “I…did.” But was she even allowed to say that? Did Amy have fun? She…she talked to her about a lot of things, but that was just what friends did. Or maybe she was doing it for Joyce’s sake. Amy didn’t care…or did she? She was into the clothes, wasn’t she? Did she even need to be thinking about the way someone else felt? “Well, I talked a little with Amy while you were asleep,” and like always, so much seemed to happen while Emily was sleeping… “What would you say if she wanted to have you over again?” “Yeah…? She asked me that earlier?” Emily sounded unsure. Was she missing something? “I know you’re still gonna help with her projects, but Amy meant more of what the second half of today was like.” The second half…? The second… The… “L…like with the…” “Only if you’re okay with it, but I guess someone else thinks you’re just as cute in a diaper as I do?” Joyce chuckled, and Emily was feeling hot all over again. “Wait, don’t tell me you’re really that surprised? Awh! Is that a smile I see…?” “Shut up!” Emily lashed out, but Joyce only giggled more. “I’m even more surprised, you know! She said she wasn’t fully sure, but she did know that she wanted to try being a caregiver again.” “And you’re really okay with that…? What…what if she does things differently, though?” “Well, I’d hope she’d feel a little different from me,” Joyce playfully pondered with a finger on her chin. “I’m not trying to be replaced, you know?” “I-I didn’t mean it like that…!” “I know you didn’t!” Joyce laughed. “Let’s call it a dry run? Or like…a babysitter in training?” “She…she really said that?” “No, not exactly, but she did say some funny things.” Auntie Amy…! “I…I don’t know…” “I don’t want you lying to yourself if you think you’re trying to protect me. Emily, I repeat: this is not cheating. Be comfortable with this, okay? If you’re willing to try, I want you to have fun with this!” “But how would it work? A-am I supposed to stay over…?” “Absolutely not!” Joyce frowned. “Do you know how expensive overnight babysitters are?” Emily could already hear the syrup and sugar in her voice. “Just thinking about my little girl having a nightmare when I’m not there…!” “Okay, okay…! You made your point!” Emily shoved her shoulder just to get the teasing to stop. “Hey, not when I’m driving!” “Then stop talking like that!” “I will do no such thing! One more shove and it’s riding in the back seat for the rest of the week for you! More importantly, I need to know! Amy’s gonna watch you next time. Yes, or no?” How could she just ask like that?! Especially after just teasing her? Joyce always got her way and it was not fair! Now Emily couldn’t even look out for her partner? She got a talking-to for being cautious of her girlfriend’s jealousy that miraculously evaporated the moment Emily had a diaper on?! “Well?” Joyce smirked, and Emily’s frown was quivering. “Y…yes! Fine! Yes I’ll do it!” “Great! Amy will be very happy to hear that. I guess I’ll need to get some things ready for her to have, then…!” “What?” What things? “W-well…does she really need stuff?” “Well, Em, she needs more at her place to take care of you… I don’t mean a second nursery, or anything, but she’ll need a changing pad for you. A couple bottles, one of your pacis…” And like that her voice was drifting to a point where it wasn’t about explaining anything to Emily. Just a wistful mommy making a mental note of all the things she needed to do. Then she gasped. “Wait! I can get a diaper bag! Or…wait…maybe Amy should make it…” she frowned, and suddenly her plans felt less flashy when the person she wanted to surprise was suddenly in on the plans. And Emily, despite having let Amy through the pearly gates, somehow made more of a monster out of Joyce. She shuffled in her seat, reminding herself of the oppressive wet cloth around her hips. But maybe…she could make a request herself. “Is…is she at least gonna have the other diapers…?” “Your disposables? Of course,” and Joyce patted her leg. “I’ll call Amy later tonight” Would it make sense to have a case delivered to Amy’s…? And on their drive home Joyce’s phone started to ring. “Did you forget something at Amy’s?” Joyce asked as she blindly reached for her phone. “No, I don’t think so…” “Hello? Amy?” Joyce answered. “Amy? Joyce, don’t tell me you moved on…!” An all too familiar voice flooded the other end with worry. “How could you…?!” Emily leaned out just a little bit to see the shift from pleasant surprise to ‘oh, a surprise’ awfully quick. Only until Joyce responded did it make sense. “Hello to you too, Mom!” “Did you and Emily break up? Your dad and I really liked her…!” “No, Mom, we did not break up. I just thought you were someone else. Emily’s in the car with me right now.” “Oh, thank goodness!” Mary sighed with relief, but she pivoted her attitude just as well, if not better than her daughter could. “Why would you go scaring me like that? Did my name not show up for you? Is your caller ID working?” “Yes, Mom, it is, but I have my eyes on the road…! If I was looking at my phone instead of the road, you’d have neither a daughter nor her girlfriend to see this Thanksgiving!” “Joyce…!” Emily hissed in a shocked whisper. Her partner only gave her eyes that could communicate her disinterest in playing nice with her own mother. “Don’t be so morbid!” Mary chastised, and whatever grim sense Emily had felt, clearly it wasn’t of much effect on the head matron of the Summer’s family. “Is this a bad time right now? I was doing a wellbeing check!” “I am well, and so is Emily,” and Joyce turned the phone out into the open. “H-hi, Mary…!” Emily shouted into the phone. “Hiii, Emily!” Mary’s voice traveled back with a slight digital gargle. “See? We’re doing well,” Joyce had the phone back on her ear, and mother and daughter by blood sounded far calmer now. “I can tell! Your dad is out with some of his friends today, but we were starting to stock up on some candy for Halloween. You two have any plans for that?” Was it really coming that soon? Joyce blinked, and just like that, there they were midway into the month. Time really did fly by… “Not yet, no…” And unlike herself and Emily, she knew exactly what her parents would be up to. The second Joyce and her sibling stopped trick or treating, Frank and Mary pivoted the candy import into an export. They accumulated candy like it was some kind of national reserve and liquidated their assets over the course of a few hours to the hundreds of kids trick-or-treating through the neighborhood. Candy was spent in exchange for getting to see all the cute and cool costumes kids and teens would wear. “Well…if it includes costumes, I’m going to want pictures, you know! John and Hannah plan on going to a party in a few days. They’re going as Bonnie and Clyde!” “That sounds nice,” Joyce chuckled. “But right now we don’t have anything set in stone yet,” but Joyce did glance just briefly at Emily, wondering just what kind of costume would look good on her… Vampire? Super hero? Sheep? Monkey? Kitty cat? Princess? Piglet? Quite a few of those could get away with a diaper underneath, too… Trick-or-treating did get long… “Mm,” Mary made a noise, and Joyce already knew what disapproval sounded like. “Try to do something okay? Maybe go to one of those spooky festivals, or something? Or a haunted house?” “Yeah, we’ll think about it.” Absolutely not. Diapers could only absorb so much… “So everything’s good for you two, though? Need anything?” “Same old same old,” Mary went on, “but I actually wanted to start talking about Thanksgiving next month. You two are gonna be staying for at least a day or two, right?” “I mean, sure, we’ll probably be staying the night at least…” She hadn’t talked to Emily about it yet, but she couldn’t imagine a problem. As Joyce recalled, Emily mentioned that her parents didn’t do much for the holiday anyway. “Uh-huh! And we’ll have your room nice and clean for you both, okay?” “Yep, thanks for doing that as always,” Joyce responded. Was there a reason for mentioning what she always did? “And Joyce, one other thing; I was thinking we could talk about some things Emily might need while she’s here?” “...Sorry?” What things did Emily need? And in a Mary-like fashion, the words came out bluntly. “Well, her diapers?” “M-Mom…?” Joyce did her best to hide her stutter, given who was sitting right beside her. “What’re you–?” “-Well since you’re both flying here, I imagine you’re gonna need to pack some of her extra stuff. I was thinking you could have some things shipped here early so I can put it in your room for you?” Her casual tone was making Joyce’s head spin all over again. She had actually forgotten, and surely Emily did too. Time didn’t undo the damage that’d been done by the unintentional reveal to her mom since their last visit. She found one of Emily’s diapers…used, at that, and came to her own conclusions. It was debatable to call it lucky, but as far as Mary knew, Emily had a medical condition and Joyce was supporting her through it. “We…” What’s the right thing to say…?! “We won’t need that, mom.” Her mom sounded surprised, and Joyce knew what doubt sounded like. “Joyce, hon, this is going to be Emily’s first time here? Have you told her how many of us there’s going to be? It’s a lot of new faces, and I know that she can be shy at first… I really don’t want you leaving her unprepared.” “Mom…we’ll be fine!” Joyce insisted louder than she meant to, and finally Emily was giving her a concerned look. “Honey, all I’m asking is you just send me some of her diapers? That way you won’t need to pack any with you. I’ll hide them in your room where no one else will see– not even your dad! I’m just trying to save space in your suitcases, sweetheart? Just ship a case, okay? Or maybe two… If she’s coming for Christmas we’ll want to have a good amount…” “Mom…” Joyce sighed, “it’s been a long and busy day, and I really don’t have the energy to talk about this right now. Is that all you wanted?” “It is, honey, but I really want you to do it soon; rates are gonna go up as we get closer to the holidays…” As if money was an issue for Joyce. Mary spoke with more concern, more worry and more doubt just to gently force the issue like she always did. As per usual, secrets that didn’t even belong to her were suddenly part of her own prerogative. Joyce was quick to cut the call speedily. “Goodbye, Mom. We’ll talk later.” And yet her mom could hardly find that things were amiss. “Okay, I love you, sweetheart! Tell Emily I said bye!” “Bye, Mom.” And she hung up. Emily watched the discomfort on Joyce’s face as she dropped her phone with a frown. She hesitated, but ultimately she did ask, “What’d she want…?” “An excuse to stick her nose where it doesn’t belong…” Joyce mumbled. But it was too late. Once her mom knew, there was never un-ringing that bell. Now the real question…should she tell Emily? If things came to pass just as her mother unfortunately orchestrated, surprising Emily with diapers in the closet was a surefire way to cause a rightful breakdown. “My mom…she wanted to talk about us sending her some of your diapers.” “W-what…?” It was a loaded one-word reaction, especially once the trauma Emily had learned to forget was coming back all over again. “What…?!” “She wants me to ship her some so we don’t have to worry about packing them in our suitcases…” “She…she’s serious?” “She thinks you have a condition, Emily… She thinks it’s from stress or nervousness. And well, to be honest, you do get that way in new situations…” “Yeah, but I don’t wet myself because of it!” “But that’s not what she thinks…” Joyce glumly countered. In fact, she thinks she knows differently with a frightening degree of certainty… “We’re…we’re not gonna bring them…right?” The sudden shift from cloudy daylight to underground parking garage was the only thing that kept Joyce from seeing Emily’s worried look. “If…if we want to avoid questions…” she bit her lip, fighting the words, “It may not be the worst idea…” “But Joyce…!” “No one said we have to use them, okay? What if we ship her some and just forget about them? My mom said she’d hide them in the room we’ll use, so… We get them and just leave them there…” she thought, and with stress and urgency as her motivator to resolve things quickly, she nodded with affirmation. “Yeah, we’ll do that. Ship your diapers, then just say you never needed to use them? It’ll satisfy Mom and no one needs to see them. Does that work?” “It…I guess it does…” Emily made a discomforted noise. “I just wish she didn’t know anything at all…” “You and me both…” Joyce frowned apologetically. “No matter what, I promise it’ll be a fun time. As nosy as she is, I’ve never known stuff to go beyond Mom…” She was in other words a borderline benign tumor or some kind of self-serving parasite stuck in a questionably symbiotic relationship. Mary fed off the circumstances, and for that she did…something for Joyce and Emily as her host. If only they had any sort of idea what that benefit might be. “But,” she killed the ignition to the car, “that’s not until a month from now. So let’s not think about it so much.” “And what happens as it gets closer…?” Emily sulked, finding her signature pessimistic state. “Then we think about it less,” Joyce manually straightened her out. “But we’re home now, so let’s get those pants back up your legs.” Diapers and Thanksgiving… Joyce gave herself one last chance to audibly vent as she walked around to the passenger side. Her heels echoed off the cement walls so did the opening of the passenger side door. There Emily was, looking as pensive and conflicted as ever, sitting with her jeans around her ankles. And there her bunched cloth diaper was, snuggled right between her legs. “Did you wet again when I was on the phone?” Joyce asked while bending over, hiking the denim up her bare legs. “O…only a little…” she turned her face away. Her car ride home had gone from warm to lukewarm, and just about to be cold, but back to warm again. But now she was cold and ready to change; clothes and undergarments. “Lean forward?” Joyce guided her forward. “Scooch that bum a little, too… Perfect. And then we slide up your–!” And just as Emily slightly stood to help the process, she waited for a gesture that didn’t finish. Instead, Joyce tilted her head curiously down at the seat, noticing the impression where Emily was sitting… there were streaks darker than normal… Is that…? “Is something wrong?” Emily tried to look for herself, “Huh…? Oh, no, everything’s okay. But…” she popped her lips. “Let me go grab a towel real quick from the back, okay?” Towel…? “Wait…why do you need a towel?” “Just a little rain, I think!” Rain? But when they were getting into the car it wasn’t… But there they were. Two crescent moon-shaped streaks right where Emily was sitting. The seat got wet. Huh. Was it raining and she just didn’t notice…? What a weird, and oddly specific place to be wet, though… And out of odd curiosity, Emily, as innocently clueless as could be, brushed her backside, feeling the certainly wet spots on the back of her diaper. Coincidentally, right where the leg gatherers ended. “Let’s just put that there…” Joyce was back and padding the seat with a fluffy towel, and Emily held her hand under her nose, conducting her investigation. Rain…? N-no…rain didn’t smell like that. It wasn’t like rain at all… No grass or dewy scent… Hardly outdoors… It smelled a little off, and all too familiar. It smelled like– “I-I leaked?!” Emily panicked right as she was pushed back onto the towel. “Emily, baby, it’s fine…!” Joyce tried to hush her with a laugh. “You think it’s funny?!” How long ago did she leak? Why didn’t she try to notice it? “W-well…a little…” she admitted with a face that struggled to stay serious. “But it’s fine…! Leaks happen all the time…!” “But I don’t leak!” Emily pouted. “I-I’m sorry…! Is the seat okay? Do we need to get it cleaned? I’ll–!” Boom. Joyce, or better known as Mommy, the fastest pacifier-placer in the west. As shocking as the seat stains, somehow Emily was bewildered by the unexpected trinket in her mouth. “Shh…just suck on that for a little, okay?” Joyce soothed the distraught girl, but her smile didn’t go away. She leaned over as she used the excess cloth to wipe Emily all over as a precautionary. “No one’s here…no one’s watching.” But I guess we’ll need to mention to Amy that her handiwork isn’t as waterproof as she thought… “I don’t know about you, but I like disposables a whole lot more!” And her little girl, busy being quite upset with herself, weakly nodded. Disposables probably wouldn’t have given her the same kind of embarrassment, which was wild to think given how little the margins were separated by. Panties hadn’t even crossed her mind. Her world really in that moment was just diapers. With the tools Joyce had, Emily and the car’s seat were going to be as clean as she could get them right then. Good thing what she needed for both messes were in the same place. “Okay…up we go, whoosh!” Joyce cooed with a brief cradle that left Emily standing behind the car door. “And yes, we’ll put these back on…” Joyce tugged up her pants, and the concern in Emily’s eyes was obvious, but even she understood. Risking her jeans was better than flashing a diaper to anyone walking by. She winced as the wet padding was compressed against her all over again, but at least the outside world would have a harder time telling. Hand in hand they walked to the elevator, and Emily followed and stayed quiet– double, triple, then quadruple-checking for people that thankfully didn’t exist. “First thing’s first: a bath,” Joyce hummed while she watched the digital display count down the floors. “New diaper, then I’m gonna come down and– Oh!” Emily leaned back, but Joyce’s hand came closer and pulled something that left her mouth feeling wet. “Sorry!” Joyce giggled, then whispered, “Mommy almost let you walk around with your paci…!” And Emily blushed, doing nothing more than that, focusing on her girlfriend’s thumb massaging her palm. Maybe Joyce was forgetful, but Emily hardly remembered she was even sucking on it. Or maybe that wasn’t it. Maybe she just didn’t remember that there was a time and a place for particular soothers. But here she was, sucking on air, standing and forced to be patient for an elevator that couldn’t seem to come fast enough. She fidgeted and wanted to move, feeling the cold cloth diaper getting to her as it inevitably started to stain her jeans, all the while leaving an expensively-stained car seat in her wake. Now she potentially had a new babysitter to get used to, and all on top of that she now knew they were bringing diapers for her to Thanksgiving. She was far from frowning, and at most her brow was creased from the heavy thoughts sitting on her head. Now she didn’t even have something to chew on… She wasn’t frowning, but she certainly was starting to feel something. Cranky. Maybe her nap really wasn’t long enough…

Glad I made a fun coincidence for you! Enjoy! Hmm, to the best of my knowledge, you're either time traveling, or it sounds like you found one of my stories someplace that's sharing my stuff that hasn't been publicly released yet. Not too sure! Yeah, hopefully Kyle's words have a lasting effect on her. Things can always be worse, but trying to look at any of the current circumstances as an "up side" seems impossible for Dawn right now.

23 - Check-up Where the library was vast and giant, the buildings before them now were much more…homely. “Kinda looks like a village, huh?” James spoke from behind the wheel, glancing briefly back at Dawn. “Mm…” Stuck in her car seat, Dawn openly murmured, but silently agreed. It did have that sort of vibe. Her side of the car had the giant sign standing by the car as they drove by, filled with different company logos and names. The buildings were different, but they didn’t stray far from vertical siding in light blues, yellows, pinks, and purples. On the advert board she saw a few peculiar symbols. Glasses, a hammer? No, a gavel? Eye doctors, attorneys at law, the works. A mini plaza serving the needs of whatever company or service willing enough to lease it. Some had second stories, others didn’t, but they were all shingled the same with an accompanying white trim. But as un-fascinating as it was, Dawn sighed, swinging her legs hanging in free space as she tried to push against her straps, but only felt the belts dig into the crooks between her shoulders. There was no radio on the ride over. Not per Dawn’s request, but most likely per James’ assumed understanding. Once she felt them settle into their parking space, she waited for the death of the engine that soon did come. “Okay…” James puffed some air, leaning his head down at a phone in his hands. The Little stuck in the back seat could hardly make out a thing on the screen, but the fact that it lit up and did more than stack on top of other shapes and prisms was enough to make her painfully envious, especially after her close encounter at the toy store. But her moment of jealousy was dashed once the screen went away and the Amazon’s head lifted and turned. “Ready to head on in?” Dawn gave him the look of a dead fish. “No.” “No?” James said back with a rise from his brows and a weak smile. “Not feeling up to it?” “Nope,” Dawn said again, but with the tiniest amount of added spice to boot. “...” James’ hand hanging on the top of the passenger seat tapped the top awkwardly, “Uh-huh… Well, guess we can’t do much about that, huh?” And her eyelids sunk, leveling everything out when it came to her expression. Could he have not telegraphed it any more obviously? Yeah, there really wasn’t anything they could do. Nothing Dawn could. So she threw up her arms with a frustrated sigh, just so James wouldn’t touch her in the process of forcing her out of the car seat. A fat buckle was clicked and the nylon slither from a seatbelt hissed as it retracted into the car and fell taut against the interior siding. But Dawn was still buckled in. Her straps didn’t go zip, zoop, or retract anywhere. Her’s were fitted and tightened. So James undid his own seatbelt first. Fine. Expected. “Don’t ever tell Kat I said this, but,” he yawned as he rolled his shoulder and arm, flexing his bicep, “I can’t stand using a seatbelt sometimes…!” She gave him a weird look, wondering why in the world she would care. After all, she hated him. What, did he want to give her something to use against him? Like a peace offering? Did he think she’d be satisfied if she got to assure him some kind of punishment or disapproval? Dawn quietly scoffed, turning the other way. Then she saw his phone come back out. He lifted and adjusted in his seat and his chin started pointing down. What was he doing? So Dawn waited too. For a minute, or so, and then a couple more. Her legs started drifting, oscillating, then swinging impatiently. She tugged on her straps, fidgeting with the button, until finally: “Don’t we have an appointment, or something?” Not that she cared, but wasn’t it important, or something? “Hm?” James leaned his head back over. “Ready to go in?” It wasn’t the answer she wanted, hence another displeased look. “No. I’m not.” “Just let me know when…” he said with his eyes right back on his phone, and Dawn by this point couldn’t sit still, somehow desperate now to live vicariously. “...What are you doing?” “Me?” James answered without turning back, “just some stuff on my phone.” “...” Christ, was she this starved to itch her brain? “What stuff…” “Just work stuff.” It was a carrot and stick, obviously, but with a metaphorically empty stomach, she had no choice but to give chase. “...What work stuff?” “Electrical stuff,” he answered just barely more, leaving his answers just as frustratingly vague. “The kind of stuff that makes the lights turn on in houses.” “...So they just let you do that: work from on your phone?” It’s not like she wanted to talk to him, but what else was she supposed to do? Go inside, or enjoy effective solitary confinement? Without realizing it, she apparently had fallen into a recurring loop. “Does that mean you’re ready to go in?” She blinked in annoyance, putting on a pissy frown. “So is that how this works? You don’t talk unless I go inside?” She crossed her arms. “We’re talking right now, aren’t we?” “Yes, but only so you can bait me into going inside…” she mumbled annoyedly. “Soo…that means you’re rea–” “--No, I’m not ready to go inside!” Dawn shouted impatiently. “...Okay then,” and James went back to his device, sounding unbothered and just as relaxed, meanwhile such a petty and stupid tactic already had the tiny girl fuming. “Are you gonna unbuckle me too?” she huffed at him, trying to lean forward but immediately pissing herself off even more once the straps held her still. “...So you’re ready?” “No! Just un-buckle me!” “If it’s out of the car seat it’s going inside,” James said simply, but with finality. “So what– you just get to sit in your seat and do whatever you want, but I don’t even get to feel like I’m not a prisoner?!” “You’re not a prisoner, Dawn. You’re free to go, in-fact,” James chuckled, and the girl grumbled. “If I was free, I wouldn’t be here right now. I’d be doing something about my situation that actually helps me! Speaking of which: how’s that research coming? Have you figured anything out yet? Well? Have you?!” “I’m still looking into it, but I get busy too, you know,” James explained, but again, he talked like he didn’t even have a horse in the race. He finally looked behind at her. “Ready to get some fresh air?” “NO!” Back on his phone he went, and Dawn went back to nothing more than her own anger and stupidly unsatiable curiosity. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. It was as if that stupid mechanical timer was ticking away in her head, like she was trapped in the kitchen all over again. “...Fine! Let’s just go already! Get me out of this stupid thing!” Finally he changed his tune, but to one no better than the last. With a warning voice he asked, “Is that how we’re gonna sound once we get out of the car?” “Wh–...!” Dawn stammered and bit her tongue in absolute pissy surprise. “NO! I WON’T! NOW LET ME OUT!” she screamed, but James from the front looked no less impressed, nor any more willing. “F…fiiine…!” she groaned, thrashing even more in her seat and fighting a pointless battle. “I won’t yell! Just get me out of this thing…!” Again his phone went away, leaving Dawn absolutely no more clued in on the pointless mystery on his screen, and just as disenfranchised since the start of this morning. She impatiently watched him leave the car, walk around, and finally open the door beside her. “Now unbuck–” Dawn started to command, but his forearm crossed right over her, reminding her of the unfortunate existence of her personal maintenance kit; diapers included. She didn’t look happy to see the diaper bag slinging over his shoulder, but her one tiny, miniscule moment of reprieve was his thumb sinking into her seat belt button like an afterthought. And yet the button plunged with seeming ease, something that was impossible for the far smaller and weaker Little. Whether she liked it or not, even Dawn knew the routine as the machine with muscles lifted her like a part off an assembly line. But the moment the ceiling above her was the sky and no longer the car, she immediately demanded, “I want to be put down.” “We’re crossing the parking lot where cars drive, so no,” James explained and decided in a single sentence. “Do you think I don’t know how to look both ways?” Dawn sputtered incredulously. “Just let me use my own feet for once!” “Dawn, it’s dangerous. You can move around once we’re inside,” he answered dismissively and with finality. The car door was pushed shut. “Come on! Why can’t you guys just give me a single thing…?! You take away my clothes, my underwear, my freedom– my everything! And you can’t even let me use my own feet?!” “Dawn, hon, it’s a five second walk…” James explained. “Then give me my five seconds!” Was she going to run? No, not this time. Given her roadblocks the last attempt, especially now with a man made of muscle, she seriously doubted her odds of getting away successfully. James gave her a long look and Dawn’s indignant face surely wasn’t doing herself any favors whatsoever. But miraculously, she was slowly lowered to the ground. “Hold my hand,” James commanded firmly with his already smothering hers. His skin was rough and a little rugged. Solid and absolute like his body was made of bricks. “I don’t need to–” But James wasn’t up for negotiations. “It’s either this or I’m carrying you. Which is it?” She tried hiding her bitter look as she watched the narrow aisle between the two cars up ahead. “You’re just doing this because Katherine told you to…” Dawn mumbled with an attitude perfectly plastered on her face. “No, I’m doing this to keep you safe,” James refuted but without any of the hostility he was getting back ten troves in return. Dawn started walking ahead, but, “wait,” and his hand left her radius of freedom extremely small. She whipped her head and gave him a look, but for once James challenged her gaze. “Do you want me to carry you? Is that what you want?” James dropped another ultimatum, but given the context and who Dawn was, it hardly felt like a question. So without a choice, she waited for James to close the door, adjust the bag over his shoulder, and glance again at whatever stupid thing he was looking at on his phone…! In Dawn’s mind she was already primed for a very bad fucking day, whereas others might just write her off as “grumpy.” “Kay, kiddo, let’s scoot,” James ushered with a light tug on her wrist. Correction, would definitely write her off as grumpy. The walk was short, but prolonged by another jerk back from James the moment they were about to emerge from the line of cars facing the empty parking lot lane. Right over was a thick cement sidewalk, and just beyond that were the gardens and brick-laid paths leading into each and every business responsible for who knew what. “Ah– hey,” James warned again, “we look both ways before crossing, remember?” “I…I did look!” Dawn grouched back, whipping her head both ways, and by some unfortunate coincidence only then did a car at the very end start to poke its nose around the corner, but it still was quite a ways away. “Let’s go. There’s no cars,” Dawn moved forward, but James did not. “Whoa, hey there!” James raised his voice and Dawn was jerked back again with much more force. “What did I just say?” he scolded with a rise in his voice. “Would you quit pulling me so much?!” Dawn shouted, scraping the sole of her shoe like she was raring for a kick. “It’s safe! I did look! No cars!” “No. Look carefully,” he reprimanded, pointing out the exact slow-going car that Dawn had noticed the first time. “I DID! All we had to do was walk across and it was safe! Jesus, just let go of me already!” And to her surprise, he did. Only for half a second, though. In place of her wrist she was taken by the waist and lifted in the air. “Wh-what? Put me down! Hey!” she fought and she struggled, kicking her feet against him and dropping her fists on his shoulder, but it was like hitting boulders. She barely did a thing and he didn’t flinch. What’s more is she was being robbed of the very few privileges she had left. It was a short yet demoralizing walk across the path and onto the sidewalk. “Put me down! Put me down! PUT ME DOWN!” “Dawn…” “PUT ME DOWN!” “Dawn…!” “I SAID PUT ME DOWN! STUPID–!” “HEY!” One word was all it took. The man boomed with his mighty shout, carrying a weight far heavier than Dawn could even remotely match a fraction of. Her mouth hung agape, mid-cry as a single stroke from his angered voice paralyzed her completely. The flash of fear was instant and in her eyes, and just as the bear she’d been poking awakened, he let out a loud sigh. “That’s enough,” he said much more quietly, but the edge was still in his tone, and Dawn was not soon to forget just how loud he could get. Her hands rested uneasily and her feet hung limply. She was a wet noodle pinned to his side. “We will try crossing the street together again once we leave, if you behave yourself. Now I want an apology right this instant for that kind of behavior! Do I make myself clear?!” He was holding her right against him and she had nowhere to run. Nowhere to retreat to other than the recesses of her own mind. But he gave her a stern look, one that looked to be one misdeed away from a full-on punishment, and she knew what to expect. She knew and that’s what terrified her. “I-...” she caught her voice before it could crack. “I-I’m sorry…” she mumbled in a low voice. “Are you going to talk to me or anyone like that once we go inside?” He laid it on even thicker. “N-no…” she mumbled even lower. “What was that?” “No!” she raised her voice, then the change in expression on his face gave her immediate regret. “N-no! No,” she stumbled and stammered in a thick voice, “I-I’m sorry…! I…I knew what I was doing! You just didn’t listen!” “No, Dawn, you’re the one that needs to listen and behave. Katherine will not put up with that kind of attitude, and neither will I. And absolutely, under no circumstances will you ever act that way with anyone else, either. Do I make myself clear?” “Y-yes…” she murmured again, hoping that she really did just manage to escape death itself. James seemed to be softening up, but they stood there under the overhanging roof right outside a white-painted wood and glass door. But more importantly, could she not even cross the street, anymore? Not even that, but a parking lot? She couldn’t decide when she got out of her seat in the car, or if she got to use the toilet, go to the doctor, eat what she wanted, buy the things that interest her, read the books she wanted…?! “Dawn…hon,” James comforted in a voice far removed from himself just a minute ago, and sounding much calmer, “I’m not mad, okay? It’s my job to keep you safe, and that means making sure you know that what you did is wrong…” “I-It’s…” Dawn sniffled, trying to desperately wipe away the proof of her emotions that kept leaking out of her eyes. “It’s nothing…!” She sniffled again. “C-can we just go inside already…?” The sooner they finished this, the sooner Dawn didn’t have to participate with the rest of the world for another whole day. She couldn’t care less if James was angry or not. He could think she was crying for whatever reason. All that mattered was Dawn’s crippling sense of loss. Everything was suddenly covered in either red or yellow tape now, and the fact that no one else could see how wrong that was put the girl beside herself. The metal knob was turned and James walked them inside. It was an immediate transition to a waiting room. Chairs with elaborate wooden loops for legs held up cushioned backs and seats positioned in the center and lining the walls. From there just about all the adult or neutral qualities ended. The walls were one massive mural of a simplified cartoon landscape of grassy hills dotted with flowers, an ever-stretching rainbow with smiling clouds and a happy sun. A fish tank came out of the wall where its top and bottom were cleverly designed as if an even larger sea creature were eating the entire enclosure. Some weird loch ness dinosaur thing with fins and a nose reminiscent of a dragon, but large and elaborate. The waiting room was dotted with Amazons, all with their… “reasons” for being here. “Nnn…” one nervous little girl clung onto her mother’s pant leg, staring up at the aquarium. “Mommy…?” she asked aloud in a shaky voice, yet her body seemed to sing a different tune as she kept squatting and bobbing her bum up and down, shaking her short skirt that kept flashing a white padded bottom. “I don’t wike the fish monster…” she moaned, but her “mother,” another Amazon with an “adopted” Little, glanced up for just a moment from her magazine to see what the spectacle was right behind her. “Don’t worry, sweetie,” she smiled after chuckling at the imaginary monster, “he only likes to eat fishies, okay? Not cute little girls like you!” “Mmm…” and yet she still wiggled skeptically. “Tell you what,” she leaned down from her reading material once more, “Mommy’s gonna keep the fishie monster right here, so you go play with some toys where he can’t reach you, okay?” “Mm!” And the girl vigorously nodded before toddling off like her life depended on it, much like how her bladder seemed to depend on Depends. And unfortunately if there was any thought that it was a normal exchange, Dawn had the displeasure of seeing bumps on the girl’s chest all the way over to a corner of the room sectioned off by half-walls. It looked like a tiny land of toys. Wooden boards screwed into the wall with multi-colored winding metal strings and giant wooden cube and sphere beads all over them. Things reminiscent of expanding balls made of interlaced meshes, blocks with letters, stuffed animals of all sorts of species, and more. She spotted another man-boy sitting in shorts but with his diaper overcoming the impossible by peeking its disposable waistband outside his shorts and over his navy blue shirt. He was busy with some kind of toy construction truck, ignoring the small barnyard playset filled with plastic cylinders painted as people and animals. A tall shelf of pamphlets were standing in the other corner, depicting imagery Dawn did not want to see, containing content that would more than likely make her sick. Swapping from Bottles to Breasts: When’s the Right Time? Diaper Fright and Your Little Amazon Toddler Potty Training and how to Prepare your Little For it Choosing the right Little Diet: From Softs to Solids Which was worse: the ones with symbolic images of bottles, training potties, and diapers, or the ones that cut to the chase with more enslaved models just to advertise their own demise? One seemed far less secret and the other left more to the imagination. Maybe this was all just one prolonged stay at the library and they’d finally reached the horror section. There were far more unfortunate pairs of people to watch, which Dawn was sorely sure she would see, but James walked them over to a counter where a woman was sitting in flowery scrubs. “Hello, there!” the woman smiled brightly, and the moment she tried to give Dawn eye contact, she spun her head. “Welcome to Libertalia Little-atric Care. Do you have an appointment?” “Yes, we should, at least,” James explained. “Her name is Dawn?” “Dawn…” she hummed while she typed. “Can I have a last name, please?” “Kepler,” Dawn blurted out and James’ mouth still hung open. “Oh~!” the nurse chuckled, smirking at the no-nonsense Little. “So smart! Okay…Kepler…–ou,” she apologetically smiled. “I’m sorry, we don’t have anything under that name…” Dawn frowned. Did they go to the wrong place, or did that LPS woman never actually schedule anything for them? “Dawn Matthews?” James suddenly spoke up, sounding not one bit confused, meaning Dawn certainly was. She gave him a weird look, but the nurse had her attention just a second later. “Ah, yep! Dawn Matthews. This is her first time with us, correct?” “Yes, uh, she’s been very recently…adopted, and we don’t think we’ll be able to get any of her previous medical records…” James awkwardly explained, and Dawn was still trying to wonder just why she was using their last name. The nurse simply giggled. “Don’t worry; we go through that all the time here. Congratulations on your adoption! Not gonna be a problem. She’ll start a new record with us here, and if you can I’ll need you to fill out some paperwork for us…” she swiveled in her chair, and Dawn could see now that under her soft pink scrub shirt was a pair of hot pink pants and white sneakers. Did they not have a standardized dress code here? Even the clipboards were themed. A fat and wide alligator head was the pinch that pinned the paper to the glittery green translucent plastic board. The pen though wasn’t quite so eccentric. Basic bitch blue, as Dawn had hoped this place would be, but definitely wasn’t. But since James was seeing the papers, now Dawn was too. It looked normal enough at first, but James was already skimming through the thin packet faster than she could focus on anything specific. Although… Biological Age (If known) Developmental Age (If known) Allergies Fears/Dislikes (If Applicable) Adoption Date Many different strange and concerning fields were spotted in no particular order, but she even noticed some kind of scoring sheet or rating chart, ranging from values expressed in quality rather than quantity. Her eyes widened with concern over what she could catch at just a moment’s glance. Sleeps Well At Night: Very True, True, Unsure, Untrue, Very Untrue Uncomfortable About Wearing Diapers: Very True, True, Unsure, Untrue, Very Untrue, N/A Shy in new Situations: Very True, True, Unsure, Untrue, Very Untrue Picky Eater: Very True, True, Unsure, Untrue, Very Untrue She even spotted another questionnaire looking like true or false points, but by then James flipped back to the front. “You can just fill that out while you wait for her to be called,” the woman smiled, and James thanked her. Dawn most certainly did not. “Alright…” James sighed as he sat, and Dawn slipped right down into the empty seat beside him. “Y-you’re not actually going to fill that thing out, are you?” Dawn muttered in disbelief just as she watched him lean forward with a pen to paper. “Huh?” he turned his head. “Of course I would. Why wouldn’t I?” “Y-you…! Didn’t you actually read anything on there? What is a ‘developmental age’?!” “Dawn, it’s just stuff the doctor needs to know. Did you go to the doctor regularly back in your dimension?” “Yes, but they don’t track stuff like my feelings in new situations or ask outright on a sheet if I’m a picky eater!” “Doctor’s can sometimes do things a little differently, but it’s all the same information, I’m sure. Hey, why don’t you go play over there while I fill this stuff out?” and he pointed her over to the corner where Mr. Can’t-Keep-His-Diaper-In-His-Pants was assuredly sitting. “Tommy?” A nurse called from the other end of the room. She smiled with her own chart in hand, standing behind a half-door gate. And maybe it was lucky, or just a neutral coincidence, but a woman got up from her seat, beckoning to the man in diapers in the play area until she sighed and picked him up outright. “No! Nooo!” he cried, holding his hands out to the corner, leaving Dawn to wonder whether he longed for the toys or feared for what was to come. Was…was she supposed to be worried? She felt a cold sweat coming on as she watched James scribble some more on the chart. “I’m…I’m fine right here…” she decided, and James briefly glanced at her. And so she had all the time in the world to do the worst thing imaginable: people-watch. It was like seeing Littles of all shapes and sizes in the busy room, tuning out the screams and cries from the occasional kid or skin-slapping reprimand that Dawn was no longer a stranger to. But those were just the ones with either fight or some kind of concerning warp in their minds that made them act as something less than adult. Two female Amazon captors right in front of them were chatting with each other, actually. They smiled and laughed with each other while both their hands busied themselves with their captives like independently automated machines. A man was in one of their arms, held by the waist as he was repeatedly bounced over her knee, audibly squishing and softly crinkling over and over the bloated once-white diaper around his hips. He had a distant stare and a mouth full of pacifier, as if he’d mentally checked out. His legs looked far from toned; chubby, actually. As if…as if he actually had baby weight… The other woman rocked her arms with a swaddled woman having her hair bunched up like a unicorn horn with a fat pink scrunchie of big beads. Her face was smothered against the Amazon’s fat chest for some reason. “Yeah…!” the woman with the boy nodded excitedly. “I’m so glad it wasn’t just me either! Believe me: I get Littles are gonna act out, but kicking and hitting? I mean, you can only let them get away with so much, right…?” and her apparent friend nodded sagely so. “You really can’t let them make habits out of that stuff,” she helplessly shrugged. “If the spankings and timeout won’t do it, well, you just have to show a little tough love?” “Exactly!” the Amazon cheered in a quiet voice. “I was a little skeptical at first, but a few other mom’s in my group suggested it to me. I mean, I do kind of miss him being able to toddle around a bit, but it’s definitely worked wonders with him acting out.” Dawn quietly watched her tickle the man lightly bobbing over and over on her knee. “Now he’s my little cuddle bug!” “So glad it worked out for you!” her friend smiled warmly, almost making Dawn insane enough for a second to think that she didn’t just listen to correcting behavior by mutilating bodies. “Oh…ou…one sec…” she sighed, pulling the swaddled girl away, and a queasy feeling hit the spectator’s stomach once she saw the naked breast. A naked breast with a swollen, dark nipple, dr…dripping with white…? “Gotta swap,” she explained, and it was tit-for-tit as the fake mother tugged up her bra over the milk tank, adjusted her button-up and eventually exposed the other. And without hesitation the girl trapped in a blanket cocoon seemed to take to her breast instantly. Dawn could barely sit still, feeling a hot bile trying to escape her stomach. W-what did she just see? How was this real? The women seemed normal, and that’s what shook her the most. Their laughs, their gestures. They really did seem like housewives at first glance, but that was it. She was well within range to see the finer details and hear the distinct words that really made them the monsters they were. Pride and pleasure in taking grown adults and confining them to diapers, exercising their whims on them and permanently breaking them just to ensure obedience. All the while, she spun her head to her own guardian, a fellow Amazon nonchalantly writing away on paper after paper for a place that the same freakshows across from her also attended. And somehow, she was supposed to tell herself that it was different. That the circumstances were not the same. In spite of being just as trapped she was somehow an exception to the rule with whatever she was seeing right then. But nevertheless she was downright uncomfortable. “J-James…” Dawn whispered, trying to get his attention, but either she wasn’t loud enough to reach over the other hushed discussions and clashing toys, or he was too preoccupied with the papers. “D-...Dad…?” “H-huh?” James turned his head, and all Dawn gave him a desperate look. “Can we please sit somewhere else…?” “Why? What’s wrong?” he didn’t show the same visible sense of concern that Katherine could, but Dawn guessed that she was hearing it over the sound of her own heartbeat. “I’m…I’m uncomfortable.” James slowly nodded, then asked, “So are you saying you think you need a change?” He missed the mark entirely and it threw Dawn even further off her mental balance. “N–!” she was about to erupt, but then remembered the discipline that she just received. “Nn…no…! I…I just…please? Can we please move?” “Dawn, hon, go play,” and James dismissed her. Why wouldn’t he just listen? Dawn was standing on her knees in the seat, giving him a lost and helpless look. The corner of her eye caught wind yet again of what unnerved her the most, and apparently her only way of dealing with that was either to suck it up or go someplace else on her own where she didn’t have to hear it. As much. “Ah! Careful, Daddy!” A coy voice grinned at them. James lifted his head and the Amazon busy getting her breasts sucked dry, was smiling at them, but Dawn felt nothing more than being ogled like a piece of meat. “Be careful~” she said again in a playful whisper, sticking out her finger squarely at Dawn. “It’s not a good idea to let her play like that in high places,” she explained, and her coconspirator nodded just as much. “Oh yeah, don’t want that cutie taking a tumble!” Did they think she might fall? And while it may have been considerate on account of Dawn’s size, it didn’t excuse the patronizing tone they had. But the most unfortunate part of all was that James actually listened. He turned his head and looked at Dawn, suddenly making her think that she was caught red-handed in the act of doing something that should have borne no crime. And yet, Amazons always seemed to have a way of putting just about everything out of a Little’s legal reach. She rolled her eyes with her head to the side, hoping James would do the exact same. “Dawn, hon, off your knees,” James surprisingly admonished her, and she was shocked. “Wh-...but I was just trying to get your attention!” she complained, the Amazon mothers simply smiled, and James stayed unyielding. “Not up for discussion. You’re gonna get the seats dirty. Here–” and before Dawn could truly protest, she was lifted off the seat and plopped on the floor. “Now go play while I finish filling this out,” he said, but didn’t go back to the paper. He waited expectantly. “But…! But all that stuff asks about me!” Dawn put a hand to her chest. “I need to answer them, don’t I?” The laughing started again right behind it, and it made the Little cringe with embarrassment. “Sweetheart, I’m sure your daddy knows everything about you! You should let him handle the boring grown-up stuff, okay?” And Dawn had half a mind to go batshit at these women. Who the hell were they to heckle her own situation and be the bitches that caused this in the first place?! But before she could, a single hand was enough to steer her by the shoulder and point her at the play area waiting down the other end. “Go play,” James said simply, and just as Dawn turned to try and say some more, he followed up with, “Don’t we wanna tell Mom that today went well?” And she froze. Was that a…threat? Was he holding Katherine’s approval over her head? And so what if she disapproved? What, she wouldn’t get to read her book at all that night? Wait. No…reading? In a world now where she had so little, her horrible human condition dictated that she held dear the last few precious things she had. Katherine got her the book, so Katherine could just as easily take it away, and the fact that it genuinely bothered her made her furious. “And no temper tantrums,” James frowned, like he was ready to take on a tiny tot, but his diminutive speech was lighting even more of a fire underneath her. But she turned on her shoe and stomped off, slapping her flat soles against the dark yellow marble floor the whole way. And just in earshot as she walked away, she heard the two Amazons suddenly chatting James up. “Good job, Daddy!” “Way to go! Did you just adopt? Awh, as cute as she is, she still seems a little sharper than she should be…” “Yeah, she’s a cutie-pie! Sounds like you’re babysitting for Mom today, huh?” Not my problem. Not my problem. Not my problem…! Further down all she saw was more things she didn’t want to see. “You’re gonna spoil him, you know…” A nearby wife chastised her husband with a helpless smile, watching him with a Little laying in his lap, opening their mouth wide for a blue baby bottle of something. “It should be fine…” he chuckled, and Dawn noticed the massive diaper bag nestled between the couple’s legs. “Besides, they needed a stool sample today anyways, right?” Both Amazons looked like they were fresh out of the office. The wife quietly exhaled and, “fair enough,” she shrugged, then her face softened and her red lips puckered as she leaned over and started softly cooing at their make-believe child. “Who’s a little munchkin, huh? You? Is that you? Huh? Huh?” Dawn kept walking, trying to ignore the sound of her own thankfully dry crinkles. “Abby! Gabby!” A plump woman hissed, and Dawn felt shivers just to hear the familiar name associated with so much literal weight. This Amazon had two Littles in her lap, sitting either one on either leg somehow contained by her pants. Unfortunately they had no kind of stress covering their bodies because it was all open concept. Both blonde-haired girls were in identical ponytails, white dresses and accompanying red ribbons tying up the back that traveled no further than their hips. The white clothing continued, but it wasn’t the dress, and instead their butterfly-patterned pampers looking thick and bloated. “You are both sisters and twins now!” the Amazon continued her scolding, giving them both a mean look that identically pushed them to tears. The only thing stopping their cries were the strawberry-red pacifiers inside their mouths. On the corner another was stuck in a stroller, only their feet were bare and their legs kicked aimlessly, but low, as if there wasn’t enough muscle to lift them any higher. Just stop looking… Just keep moving…! Smells of powder, perfume, pee, and poo. Deceptively kind and blatantly cruel, Dawn seemed to toe the line of the entire melting pot that this waiting room was. It was all one sick and grueling poison, and not a single ingredient wasn’t spoiled. It was a breath of fresh air for her eyes and ears once she stepped down into the play area, finally in a place where she didn’t have to see so many public displays of body horror. She practically fell on her knees on a multi-colored plush puzzle play mat. She was too dazed to notice for a moment the two other guests she was sharing the break room with. Across from her on the other end were a miniature man and woman, just like herself, sitting across from one another. A red and blue rubber ball rolled back and forth between their legs, spread apart like goal posts. Dawn briefly glanced at them, nervous from just about everything at this point. Between the Littles she’d seen in James’ and Katherine’s neighborhood, at the library, and now this sick excuse for a doctor’s office, was there any Little actually sane anymore? The few still cognizant enough to look tortured and afraid existed, yet in such few quantities. And again, Dawn was expected to believe that in a best case scenario she wouldn’t even become that? “Hey, uhm…you alright?” With her body covered in goosebumps, Dawn visibly jumped at the sound of another voice. A coherent sentence that wasn’t in the form of condescending or patronizing. With a bewildered look she tried to trace the sound of the noise, finally landing it on the female Little craning her head back to look at her. “M-...” A finger pointed at herself. “Me…?” Dawn asked. “Uh, yeah. You look like you’re in trouble, or somethin’,” she shrugged, still looking at her with an upside down head. “Did you make your Mommy mad, or something?” “M-my…wh-what?” Her expectations were suddenly betrayed. She sighed, disappointed for believing that she actually found someone on the same mental level as her. “Shut up…” the man across from her said much more clearly. Much more…adult-ly… “She’s obviously freaked out.” “Yeah but you never know…” the girl moaned back, right as she flicked up her head. Had it not been a dimension dictated by diapers and giants, Dawn would have thought she was seeing almost a cute couple’s outfit. Both man and woman were in overalls, baby blue and powder pink respectively. She could see where their asses became inflated through the corduroy, and the matching ducky embroidered on their chests discredited the “adult” appearance as well. What she saw did not agree with what she just heard, but she cautiously approached them both, muttering, “W-wait…are…are you two…normal…?” “Normal?” The woman frowned, sharing a look with her partner who did not quite reciprocate. She laughed loudly, “Like, what’s ‘normal’?!” But the moment she raised her voice it was like her buzz died instantly, sinking into a disinterested frown, then grabbing the trinket Dawn hadn’t noticed dangling by a tether from her suspender strap. Doing it herself, the woman popped a pacifier in her own mouth. Dawn stood there awkwardly, unsure of how to respond, especially when the man was giving his partner his own look erring on either annoyed or disinterested. “I’m Kyle,” he pivoted and suddenly introduced himself. “You?” “D…Dawn…” she hesitantly answered, more shocked over the fact that it was starting to feel like a legitimate conversation. She walked over and slowly started to stretch out her hand for a shake, but he politely waved her off. “No offense, but I don’t really wanna pretend,” and Dawn dropped her hand, but felt confused. Only for a second, though. Getting a better look at his own pacifier clipped to his overalls, and seeing where the diaper bulge began along his torso, it was clear how much a “dignifying” gesture would have hurt or meant so little. He knew and now Dawn knew just how little that would amount to anything. “S-sorry…” “Nah, it’s whatever,” he glumly replied. “Dawn, right? She’s Jessica, but don’t feel like you have to talk to her.” And in a dramatic fashion the girl glanced up at Dawn again, throwing back the waves in her hair, then pulling out her muffler just to say: “And don’t feel like you have to talk to Kyle. He smells stinky when he poops his diaper.” The crease between Dawn’s brows sagged, and Kyle rolled his eyes. “Yeah, and would you know it you smell too,” he groaned, then looked back up at Dawn. “So, you okay? You definitely seem like a newbie. This your first time here?” “Yes,” Dawn blurted out, “it’s…it’s my first time everywhere…! God, I don’t belong here… This isn’t even my dimension!” Jessica and Kyle both gave her a weird look, and in unison, save for one mumbling through a pacifier, they said: “Huh?” “What do you mean, ‘not from this dimension’?” Kyle frowned, and Jessica gave her a skeptical look. Dawn blinked. “I’m a…a portal Little?” That’s what she was referred to as, wasn’t she? Jessica aimlessly made popping sounds with her mouth, opening and closing. “Sounds like you’re just playing pretend. She’s playing, right?” Jess asked Kyle, who still looked stuck in confusion before doubt. “N-no, wait…” Dawn tried to explain, desperate to finally have confidants. “I-...I know it sounds weird, but seriously, I came from another dimension! I– there was this advertisement, or this offer to come here and tour your dimension!” And Kyle tilted his head for a moment, like he was deep in thought. His mouth finally opened and he went to speak, but Jessica blurted aloud, “OH YEAH! The! The…!” she repeatedly slapped the mat with her frantic open palm, sounding like she was trying to drum a memory into her head. “The…! The uhm…!” “Portal technology…” Kyle quietly finished for her. “Yeah!” Jessica excitedly pointed at him. “That!” “Yeah, that’s how I got here!” Dawn weakly smiled, glad that there was finally a connection. “I came through one of those for a tour!” and then the bad memories and sore feelings came back. “I…was supposed to go home a few days ago, but some fucking Amazon…” she angrily muttered under her breath, suddenly peering over her shoulder to see if a giant had heard her. “So we can really go to other dimensions now, huh?” Jessica ooh’ed and ahh’ed with her feet rolling left to right on their heels. “Oh! Kyle! Maybe Mommy’ll take us on vacation to one!” “Doubt it,” Kyle rolled his eyes, then roped Dawn back into the loop. “Jessica and I were adopted a couple years ago. We don’t get to hear a lot about the news unless we overhear it, so…” his eyes panned Dawn from head to toe, “just surprising, is all.” “Are Portal Littles not common?” she looked between both Littles. “A-and wait, no, don’t say that– you were kidnapped! We all were!” Dawn insisted, and they shrugged. “Even if you’re foreign, I bet your poopy diapers still stink the same,” Jessica turned the other cheek. “Why do you keep talking like that…?” Dawn frowned, but Kyle pulled her attention again. “All she means is say it however you’d like. It doesn’t change what it is and what the louder voice is gonna make it sound like…” Kyle explained, sounding sapped in every sense just to say it. “But wow…yeah, no, portals weren’t really a thing when we were…well, not like this,” he sighed, stretching his shoulder strap right for it to slip back into place. “Guess native Littles weren’t enough for Amazons?” “No, it’s not to adopt,” Dawn corrected, “--I mean kidnap,” she emphasized. “We just came here for a tour! Yeah, our guide offered, but…” But… “But…?” Kyle continued for her, and Jessica gave her a bored look. Quota. The word echoed in her head, just like it did that night when all her worldly possessions disappeared. She went quiet as the realization sunk in. Jessica sighed, and Kyle gave her a borderline sympathetic look. “So now they’ve got Littles coming on their own?” Jessica frowned. “Like, did they promise you a cookie, or something? I mean, maybe if it had those chocolate chips I like, I might go….” “Jessica, cut it out,” Kyle quipped, and her cunning response was blowing her flapping tongue at him. They were lost in their own sibling banter while Dawn felt dizzy on her feet. Was…was she really tricked from the start? She…she knew Stacy had ill intentions and was obviously trying to write off stragglers, but was that the plan of the tour itself? Not just a sole person’s agenda? She looked up and around at the walls, and then the ones even taller than the Amazons, covered in paint and pictures meant to subdue and soothe the mentally broken and permanently diaper dependent. Her stomach went queasy just from glancing down at the puff in her pants. Designed for her. Fitted. Just like Kyle’s, and just like Jessica’s. Just like every swollen, pee-soaked and poop-filled diaper she saw on her waddling and toddling stroll over here. The world was underwater and every noise was swirling and droning, fading in and out of focus like a mumbling blur of madness. “Hey, hey!” Jessica interrupted her thousand yard stare. Her face was gleeful and excited, the exact opposite of everything she was feeling right then. What could she possibly have to say? Was she going to comfort her? “Does your dimension have trees with money for leaves?” She was patient for all of a second, long enough for a confused puff of air to leave Dawn’s quivering lips. “Our Mommy says that money doesn’t grow on trees, but do they where you’re from?” She was still speechless; dumbfounded by the question whether she was actually serious. But she looked earnest enough, leaning forward, showing off her chest that was enough to inform she should be smart enough to know otherwise. “Jessica, can you stop with the stupid questions?” The moment he started speaking Jessica already looked annoyed. “If you call me stupid again, I’m telling!” “Then go tell. I’ll just say you hit me.” “No I didn’t!” The woman gawked, and Kyle rolled his eyes. “Yeah, that’s how it works.” “Booh!” A deep, cheery voice cried, and all three Littles saw an Amazon standing at the entrance of their domain, setting down a Little, a man, diapered bottom hiding behind a meager outfit. His bare legs that looked like they should have had hair didn’t, and his shiny faded brown hair was short and prim, just like the collar on his onesie. “Play nice with everyone, okay, Billy?” “Bah!” he answered back, either sputtering straight gibberish with spit rolling down his lip or speaking a language far too advanced for Dawn. His feet came down first, but they didn’t even look ready to stand. They were already bending at the knees and the slightest sign of pressure made them buckle. “Bye-bye! Mommy’s gonna be close by!” and she gave the mind-fucked man a small wave before sitting nearby. “Wh-why…” Dawn muttered next to Kyle, still with her eyes on the man like a morbid curiosity, “why are so many people like that…?” He crawled on his hands and knees, showing remnants of an adult face but without any of the sparkle in his eye. His mouth hung open dumbly and it was clear where his own dribble had stained the front of his outfit. His head turned every which way, making some kind of noise every time his primitive mind found something interesting. A foam block, big ball, or inflated imitation of an instrument; a rainbow-colored xylophone smiling with its teeth as the notes to be played. “Dunno, you’d have to ask his Mommy or Daddy why he’s like that,” Kyle shrugged, looking neither engaged nor dejected. Just…there. Either way, just be glad you aren’t like them. Believe me, it’s better when you make the choice to piss yourself than others for you.” “H-how…? How are you saying it like that though? Like it’s just normal? You can just see something like that and it doesn’t bother you?” “You’re the one talking about him as if he isn’t even there, right?” Kyle countered, and Dawn froze. “Th-that’s…” she looked at the Little again, looking happy as could be, as if he were experiencing the world for the first time all over again. It was all fresh and new, but only because someone dialed back the clock on his mind for him. “Can…does he understand us?” “Beats me. Once an Amazon makes their Little like that you never really figure out what’s left underneath, if anything. And yes, it does bother me. But here’s a tip: don’t let it bother you.” So just choose to keep her head down and bury it in the sand… Fucking great. The babified Little then stared at all three of them though and immediately started making a beeline, crawling as fast as he could. “Jesus, please stay away…!” Dawn whispered. It wasn’t because she hated the man, but because she despised everything that’d been done to him. It made her sick and brought on tears. Amazons like that really existed? People that could just take twenty, thirty, or maybe even forty years of life and just wash it away? Just like that? And right as he was about to co-exist with them, a crinkly and pink corduroy rump swung its way between Dawn and the uninvited guest. Jessica was on her hands and knees, staring the Little down with the same exact posture. He came to a halt and tilted his head, and Jessica did the same. “Buh…booh…! Booh!” he said, and Jessica giggled, making similar noises right back. “Buu-bah! Bah-booh!” she flapped her tongue and slapped the ground. “Ooouu….buh!” he said right back, and suddenly they were like a meeting of minds. Jessica babbled back and forth with the boy, likely having no understanding with each other than just by feeling. The discomfort and bewilderment was at an all time high for Dawn, who couldn’t look any longer when it was being treated so…so casually…! “So wow,” Kyle spoke up behind her, “you uh, really are a newbie, aren’t you?” “Yeah…and I want to stay that way, because I am going home,” she clenched her hands. “Back to my dimension.” “Uh-huh,” he nodded, but his own opinion didn’t sound like it stretched beyond neutrality. “So who brought you today? Mommy? Daddy?” “James did,” Dawn emphasized. “And they’re neither of those things. James is James and his wife, Katherine, is just Katherine.” “Yeah…you really shouldn’t do that.” “Do what? Call them by their names? They get to call me by mine, don’t they?” “Dawn, right? Big tip: don’t ever expect a double standard. The way you treat others and how you get treated are related, but it’s never one-to-one.” “You’re actually okay with calling your…! Your kidnapper ‘Mommy’?” “That’s the point. It’s not about what I’m okay with. It’s about what I have to do.” What you have to…? Dawn kept looking at him strangely. “Until what…until you escape?” Kyle let out a dumbfounded laugh, enough to make the girl self-conscious. “Escape?” he repeated in a low voice. “Escape where, exactly?” “Another dimension…!” Dawn reasoned, but the man looked no more sold. “My…my dimension, it doesn’t have Amazons! It doesn’t have Littles, either! We’re all just people there!” and by her foot she noticed a foam toy then promptly kicked it aside. “Look, Dawn, I wish you the best, really, but I’ve made terms with what’s happened. No matter what, just consider yourself lucky if you are who you were at the start of all this.” “Stop talking like it’s the end!” she stomped her foot, slapping the padded floor. “You’re the first normal person I’ve met, and you’re just some kind of defeatist?” “I’ve tried what I could without risking and losing what’s still left in the process,” he frowned up at her. “Maybe Portal Littles don’t get it at first, but you’ll understand.” Kyle was a voice to talk to, but with none of the answers she wanted. He was her first source of information on a world she barely understood; a person that didn’t look down on her speak as if she was a child. But he had no will to fight and no information on what she needed the most. He was indoctrinated. Complacent, yet clutching onto his meager pieces of freedom that was his own mind. And then there was Jessica… Dawn watched her play with the bonafide baby some more, having gone from someone able to maybe keep a conversation to just as emotive and blubbering. Almost hesitantly, like she was broaching a potential taboo, Dawn asked, “Is…is she okay, too…?” “Who, Jessica?” Kyle looked over. “Oh yeah, she’s all in one piece,” he chuckled. “Sorta. We all cope in different ways. I’m…who I am, and she’s who she is. You crack or just roll with it, assuming Mommy or Daddy doesn’t make the decision for you.” “So she acts like that by choice?” Dawn’s eyes went wide, looking the woman over for just a little bit longer. She played, rolled and looked just as mindless as the other in that moment. But somehow, in some inexplicable way, Dawn could see it; the shine in her eyes… And even…even her squat, and her grunt…and– “Yeah, it’s a little gross how she can just do that…” Kyle grinned at Dawn with her grossed-out expression. “How…how did this even happen to you guys? How do people just get taken here?” “Us? Mm. Unlucky date night, I guess.” Dawn had a double take. “Date night–?” “But she’s my sister now, and that’s all there is to it,” Kyle rushed ahead with his words. “But yeah, if you’re a Little, you probably don’t stay free for long. It is what it is. Especially now if this dimension is starting to steal Littles from other ones… I don’t know how infertile Amazons can be if there’s somehow plenty enough to call for interdimensional human trafficking.” It was just another crumb, but the word “infertile” seemed to hang its hat on Dawn’s hook. But she went on anyway to ask, “You said that portals weren’t a thing when you were…free, so…how does it not bother you just hearing about them now?” “What, as in believing that they’re a thing?” Kyle shrugged. “I dunno. It sucks to admit, but Amazons are smart. Really smart. Some Littles are too, but…well, not like you get to hear about that much. Think what you want about them, but Amazons are really good at a lot of stuff. You said your old dimension doesn’t have Amazons, right? So just a world full of Littles? Pretty primitive compared to here, I’m guessing? Not that it doesn’t sound nice, though…” “It’s not primitive,” Dawn said somewhat defensively. “We have technology just as advanced as everything I’ve seen here!” “Oh yeah?” “Yes,” she answered rather quickly. Then she thought of the library and the sorting system. The complicated codes and robots running on tracks to sort and retrieve books. The simple and stupid little things like the intricate knots her shoelaces were tied in, or the complex windings on the bread ties from the plastic bags… Just as advanced…just…different… Kyle suddenly asked, “So Littles in your dimension discovered portal tech too? They made first contact?” “Y–...” she started to answer, but stopped. They did have portal technology. After all, how could she have come here? But the same month that she came was the first she ever heard of it. So wild of an idea that the suggestion was almost enough to tear the spam mail advert in two once she first read it. Something straight out of science fiction. Something far beyond the scope of modern technology as far as the public knew. Just like fiction… Suddenly from phones in their pockets and exploding cans into space, and then…dimensional travel? Who…who found who first? It was their technology, right? “I dunno,” Kyle sounded his stumpedness for her. “Thanks for giving me something to actually talk about, though,” he side-eyed his mysterious partner again, firmly planted on her bottom now with whatever she had done inside her diaper. But based on Dawn’s twitching nostrils, the mystery wasn’t much to solve. “With her it’s like rolling the dice to see if she’s gonna have at least half an adult brain…” “But…wait, how are you still…you?” Dawn asked awkwardly, finding no other comparison than the one making genuine baby noises and not just pretending. “Good parents, I guess,” he answered in air quotes. “Just because it’s inevitable doesn’t mean it’s not its own kind of lottery. The fact you’re walking and talking too must mean you were adopted by at least someone that’s not the worst of the worst.” And finally she clicked her tongue, looking downright displeased. “As if. And no, they did not adopt me. They’re people who lied to me and tricked me. They’re just letting me stay with them until they figure out how to get me home.” “Really? They’re helping you get back home?” he asked, but the surprise wasn’t as great as Dawn would’ve expected. “Y…yes, they are,” despite how incompetent they seemed. “And if they can’t, I’ll just go with that LPS or whatever it’s called. Christ, why didn’t I just go with them from the start? They care about Littles or whatever, right? So maybe–” “No,” Kyle firmly interrupted. “Absolutely not. Do not have anything to do with LPS.” The sudden and grave assertion had her taken aback. “What…? Wh-...well why not? They’re like this place’s government CPS or whatever, aren’t they?” Best interest at heart, and all that? Wouldn’t it be their mission to get her home? “They ‘protect’ Littles,” Kyle answered in more emotive quotes. “The government is run by Amazons, so LPS is run by Amazons. Do the math. Or no– better yet, think about your situation now, right?” He waited for an answer. “Yeah…?” Dawn frowned confusedly. “You’re making full sentences and can think about stuff without craving a toy or pooping your pants. Yeah, it’s a sucky standard, but you’re only above that line because you’re in whatever situation you have now. Even if you can’t tell, you’re lucky right now.” He let it sink in, and so did Dawn, but she still felt hardly sold, even if it was coming from the war stories of a veteran. “Whoever your parents are, I think right now they beat LPS by a long shot.” Her uncertain look shifted to disgust. “Would you quit calling them my parents? Because they’re not.” Not by a fucking mile. “Kyle…!” Jessica whined from the other end of the play space, “I think my diaper’s messy…!” she slapped her palm on the mat with a pout, while her nearby friend was fascinated by his own toes. “And?” he frowned. “So go get Mommy…!” and then she started to sniffle. Actually? “I-Ih’m…I’m gonna cry…!” Dawn quietly panned her eyes back over to Kyle. “Is…is she serious…?” It wasn’t judgmental, but sheer concern for how perplexing the adult’s personality had become. The man also in diapers sighed. “No, not really. Sort of. She’s always been a drama queen, even since we met in col–... Nevermind.” “S-sorry…” Dawn apologized with genuine guilt. The first time here when she felt truly and honestly sorry. She’d gone and tore open old wounds. “Uhm…and actually…does…does your Amazon or whatever give you a chance to…use the toilet? Like– an actual one?” Kyle gave her a blank stare. “You’re serious?” he asked, and Dawn sheepishly nodded, starting to squeeze her legs as best she could. “Dawn…no offense, but, does it look like I get that kind of privilege?” and he slapped his puffy protruding crotch. “I can’t even take off my own overalls without help.” “Just…urgh! How can they justify something like that?!” Dawn outraged and dropped to her knees, just to hold it in as best she could. “They all find a reason. Heck, I bet your doctor’ll come up with some random one too.” “What? But they’re a doctor!” “Amazons,” he shrugged. “But the point is, if you wanna stay sane, don’t try fighting that part.” “What part?” “Diapers, dummy,” he chuckled. “They’re gonna spin whatever reason they need to keep you in them, so all I mean is don’t hold out hope.” “Jessica and Kyle?” A nurse called from the other end of the room. “Whelp, that’s us,” Kyle sighed and pushed himself onto his knees. “W-wait, already? N-no…but,” her mouth hung open, panicking from what little time was suddenly left and pondering all the different yet equally important things she wanted to ask him. He was like a golden goose. A person she could actually talk to…! “E-escape! H-how do I escape?!” “Dawn,” he sighed, finally offering a look like he was trying to comfort a friend. “My…my Ex and I have been like this for years. If I even knew how to get out of my own crib, much less this dimension, we wouldn’t be here talking like this.” And it was like a rock was dropped on her head. She felt dizzy and wounded, too stunned to barely even see him crawl right by her, crinkling and wafting his powdered butt the whole way through. “Okay, who’s ready to go see Dr. Kipper?” An enthusiastic Amazon cooed at the front gates of Hell. “Mommy, I’m stinky!” Jessica loudly elected herself, and there was a lighthearted chuckle. “And I can tell!” she beamed, “And…upsie daisie!” For a few seconds Dawn watched wordlessly, finally grunting and pushing the warm hiss into her diaper, seeing the therapy she’d mistaken as hope for the first and likely final time. And now with a diaper wetter than before, it became that much harder to tell the difference between herself and the boy currently sucking on his toe. Kyle and Jessica, sitting in the arms of their own personal hell, laid against the massive bosom of their own Amazon and their own issues. Jessica already had her head nuzzled against the woman’s shoulder, and Kyle looked like he was just trying to exist. But Dawn saw his one last gesture; a small wave her way until their mommy turned and walked away. Far enough until they were beyond the girl's vision completely. Gone. For good. “Dawn?” the next reaper called, and the girl barely flinched. The bell had been rung and her time was nigh. The inevitable approached and there was hardly time to emotionally prepare. She was half-preparing herself to stand and make her walk of shame, but quickly remembered that nothing was ever solo anymore. “Ready?” James beckoned from the entrance of the play area. She barely nodded and stood, stumbling forward. She could recognize the gesture that went to swoop her up, so she took a step back but latched onto his thumb and finger like a compromise. “Wanna walk?” he asked the obvious. Dawn nodded. “Works for me!” So they began their stroll to the half-gate, giving Dawn one more look at all the madness she had been hiding from. More mothers decided now was the time to breastfeed their Littles, and others simply delighted by the sheer embarrassment their slaves could have from wearing nothing but a diaper. Fathers bouncing boys and girls on their knees, letting some nap in their laps and more sickeningly twisted treatments. “Look at you!” the attending nurse cooed down at Dawn, who kept her eyes beneath the waistline of her forest green pants. More white sneakers. The moment the Little stepped in, the gate softly clicked behind her. “Did I need to bring the forms with me…?” James asked as he turned his head. “Nope, no need! We’re gonna get that to the doctor. She’ll have a chance to read her information before she sees you. And we’re gonna go right in here…!” A door was opened and a light switch was flicked. There was a massive tree in the room filled with an entire civilization inside of it. A massive head of branches and leaves that spanned the entire room from floor to ceiling. Windows were carved out where the smiling and chatty squirrels and birds lived. Caterpillars crawled and juicy red apples grew. Short sequences of numbers, 1-2-3 and A-B-C’s were carved into the bark. If only it wasn’t just another painted cartoon on the wall. A thick layer of plastic shielding seemed to stretch halfway up, protecting everything from a Little’s reach. A band of rubber lined the bottom, connecting wall to floor and kissing the cold foggy marble floor. “You’re more than welcome to have her sit on the bench now or wait until Dr. Wexler comes,” the woman Dawn still had yet to look in the eyes, explained to James. It really was just a normal examination room. For the most part. There were two chairs to sit, assuming Mommy and Daddy both made the trip, a small bin, and two different countertops; one where Dawn could see the beginnings of a sink faucet. “It should only be a few minutes!” the nurse said one last peppy sentence, then disappeared with the shutting door. “Wanna sit in the chair?” James asked as he took his own seat, occupying his own lap with the diaper bag. It was Dawn’s way of assuming that he meant the empty adjacent chair. Not his lap. “Fine,” Dawn answered and approached like a soldier. “You don’t have to, you know?” James said and waited with his shadow already looming over the girl. “I will,” she said in the briefest terms again, still waiting to be lifted. So she was raised and deposited onto the seat. It wasn’t one meant for her size, but what else was new. The curved wooden back flowed in from the arms that were already high enough, meaning it was more like a headrest for her. “Find anything fun to play with?” James asked, but Dawn kept her eyes forward. “Nope.” “Oh, well, sorry about that. Boring toys?” “Yep.” Boring toys, boring people, sad stories, and so much more… While there could have been more small talk between the two, frankly in Dawn’s eyes the possibility for that was squandered by not only her dislike of James, but being stonewalled at every attempt thus far in trying to talk to him. It wasn’t the silence that Dawn minded; it was the uneasy feeling that James would somehow try building a bridge again over the one he’d torched and burned. More time alone meant he might delusion himself into thinking he could salvage something, and that was the last thing Dawn wanted. And luck was finally on her side. A sharp knock went one-two on the door, and without any further prompt the handle turned and a body emerged. “Hi there!” A wavy blonde head of hair smiled. Her flats clicked in with a tablet and folder tucked between her arm and side. “I’m Doctor Wexler, and you must be…” she squinted for a moment, “Dad?” She smiled and stretched out her hand. “That’s right, James,” he confirmed and warmly shook, and the doctor kept her smile. “Great to meet you. And if it’s alright, I’m gonna stick with ‘Dad’. Sometimes too many names can be a little confusing!” Her personality was warm and inviting, and her tone seemed to be perpetually calm. The sound of her voice was somehow…smooth. Although, it didn’t change that Dawn didn’t appreciate being indirectly referenced like that. Like always. Things being done on her behalf that she never asked for; being accommodated like an actual kid would. What was she again? A Little-trician? Who was the monster that made this sick parody of an alternate reality? Would she be listened to if she insisted on “Dad” staying as “James”? Probably not. “Sure, that’s fine,” James simply agreed, and Doctor Wexler nodded appreciatively. She set her things down on the wooden shelf sticking out of the wall then turned back over. “Perfect. And this must be my patient!” she dropped her head with a smile, mixing tiny amounts of sugar and syrup into her voice. “You must be Dawn!” Even then though she sounded somewhat professional, which maybe with a show of formality and maturity, even Dawn could convince her into giving some form of similar respect. “Yes, I am.” “Great to meet you, Dawn,” and with the same gesture offered to James, she held out her hand, truly surprising Dawn for a moment. Before the hand could disappear she reached out to shake, even if it was just the doctor’s cold hand smothering hers. “My name is Doctor Wexler, but that’s a little bit long, huh? If it’s easier, you can call me just ‘Doctor,’ ‘Dr. Wex,’ ‘Dr. W’, or whatever you might feel more comfortable with.” Got it. So ‘presumptuous know-it-all’ it is? There wasn't a white coat in sight. The doctor was dressed down almost like a middle class housewife. Black slacks and a purple ribbed sweater. Was she just a captor for another unwilling patient? “So as I understand there’s Mom too, right?” Doctor Wexler stood back up, losing her tiny bit of added sweetness. “I had a minute to read the forms you filled out, but I might need to double check things as we go through.” “Yes, my wife couldn’t come in for the appointment today; we both work and this was a bit last minute,” James explained. “That’s completely fine,” she assured as she rinsed her hands at a nearby sink. “As long as we’ve got someone to drive this cutie to and from,” she briefly chuckled, and so did James. Dawn couldn’t help but glare at the man sitting next to her. “There’s some things we may talk about though that you’ll want to discuss with her, and there’s some questions I can’t quite ask Dad, no offense! So if you both ever can come in at the same time, I’d encourage that just so we’re all on the same page, but it’s nothing mandatory. And of course, it usually helps your Little feel more at ease when Mom and Dad are both around.” No thanks. One is more than enough, and that in itself is pushing it. As far as Dawn cared, just the one was just for security detail. “Sure, I’ll make sure to tell her that,” James said. “Perfect. Feel free to keep sitting where you are,” and of course she looked at Dawn next, trying to be just as immovable. “However, my patients get to sit in the extra special seat,” she then addressed James, “ Is it alright if I pick her up?” Yet another question about Dawn, and yet another deferral to someone other than herself. “Yes, it’s fine,” Dawn spoke up for herself, and Dr. Wexler turned her head. “I guess I should have asked you, huh? I’m sorry about that!” Doctor Wexler apologized, per se, meaning Dawn couldn’t tell whether she was just being lighthearted or using some form of sarcasm. Her hands hadn’t gotten any warmer when Dawn could feel them through her shirt, especially not after just washing them. The examination table was a long cushion nearly running from one wall to the other. A long strip of paper was rolled out across, and for once something crinkled louder than her own diaper. “Okay…” then she sighed, tapping away on her tablet, “Sorry,” she looked up from the screen and apologized to James, “the amount of paperwork that this office goes through…” “Yeah? Lot of patients?” “Too many to count, but getting to see so many faces is half the fun,” and after one last cursory glance she set down her device and draped a stethoscope around her neck. “Okay, Dawn,” Doctor Wexler started as the paper lining on the bench all around Dawn started to crinkle even more than her diaper did on a dry streak. Too bad hers was too wet to compare. “I’m gonna take off your shirt, okay?” “Uhm…no thanks,” and to emphasize her point, Dawn’s hands strategically moved to the bottom of her shirt. “I feel fine.” And despite her resistance, she expected James to step in and force her, or maybe Doctor Wexler would ask for some assistance for herself, but she didn’t. She just stood there and nodded. “That’s great to hear you’re feeling fine. It’s my job to make sure you’re nice and healthy, so that’s already half my job done for me!” And it was also at that time Dawn couldn’t help but notice the lion creature, or tiger? The feline animal built into her nametag. “But you know, sometimes, there can be things going on in our bodies that even we can’t tell,” Doctor Wexler slowly explained. “That’s why just in case we go and see a doctor to double check.” “Yeah, that’s nice and all, but really, I’m fine. I don’t have any medical issues. No histories with disease or illness. I’m fine, seriously,” Dawn insisted, crossing her arms and leaning back, right up until she was against the plastic layer covering a giant painted flower on the wall. “Well if nothing’s wrong, then it shouldn’t be a problem if I look, right?” Dawn narrowed her eyes. “I know what you’re trying to do. And yes, it would be a problem. It’s an invasion of my privacy.” “Dawn?” All it took was the one word from James to make Dawn flinch. Doctor Wexler turned her head briefly, but chuckled. “Thank you, Dad, but that’s okay! I want Dawn to feel comfortable letting me help out. Can you tell me why you don’t want me to help you, Dawn?” “Because I’m not stripping naked,” Dawn frowned. Maybe if she was going to her actual doctor and not one that specialized in Littles like she was some kind of veterinarian. “And I don’t need any help. I said I’m fine.” “I promise your diaper’s not going anywhere, though?” Doctor Wexler tried to reason, and while she may have been right on a technicality, it obviously didn’t suit Dawn’s standards. “I…I don’t care about my diaper!” Crap! Not her diaper. A diaper! “Uh-huh,” she nodded all the same, like it was an automated response. “Then how about this, I’ll just slip this funny disc under your shirt, okay?” and so there was no misunderstanding, she held up her probing end of the stethoscope. “I’m gonna use this to make sure your breathing is as good as it sounds.” Dawn knew she was pushing her luck, and it was only this woman’s good or at least tolerant graces that kept James from doing whatever he was going to do to her. “Just that…” Dawn sighed and relaxed only slightly. “Just that,” Dr. Wexler softly nodded, and the cold rubber rim was soon on Dawn’s naked back. “Now can you take a nice big breath for me? Hold it in…just like that. One…two…three… Good job!” And she exhaled, repeating the ask and praise multiple times. Still working within Dawn’s demands, the doctor checked her front next, but not without Dawn trying to tug up the front of her pants every time she could see her own disposable waistband. “Well, Dad, I really like the sound of her chest,” she said as she removed the tool from her neck. “Now I’m gonna check your blood pressure, Dawn, okay?” She didn’t answer and simply watched her tear off the velcro strap and re-wrap it around her arm. “It’s gonna feel like a really tight hug, okay?” Dr. Wexler made sure to say before the air started to inflate the wrap. Pump. Pump. Pump. In three rapid squeezes from the bulb the cuff inflated and a tight squeeze was on her arm. “Ow…” Dawn couldn’t help but squint. Wasn’t this too tight? “You’re doing such a great job,” Doctor Wexler said as she looked down at a digital gauge. “Mm…” “What?” Dawn asked in a defensive voice. What was wrong? Why wasn’t she just giving her a pass? “It’s slightly higher than what I’d like to see,” she explained to James, not Dawn, “but going to the doctor’s can be scary for a lot of kids, so I’m not too worried.” “Wh-...I’m not scared!” Dawn spat aloud as her velcro strap was removed. “You’re being very brave,” Doctor Wexler smiled. “It’s okay if you’re a little scared, though? Grown-ups get nervous all the time, too,” she explained, but the gesture was totally lost on the very mature girl. “So, Dawn, how’s Dad and Mom?” The doctor swapped to small talk as her tools and tests started to change. “You’re gonna ask that when I’m right here?” James spoke up with a grin. “Hm?” Doctor Wexler grinned right back, then focused back on her patient. “Let’s pretend like Dad’s not here,” she shrugged like it really was their own secret. And Dawn’s face sank. Did she really want to know, or did she just want to check every box off her list to get her paycheck? “Yeah, it’s fine,” she dismissively answered. “Just fine?” Doctor Wexler tilted her head, and Dawn gave her a weird look. Was she looking for more? “Yeah. Fine.” “Dawn, it’s okay to be honest with me. Dad might be listening, but he knows just as much as I do that we’re here for you, okay? It’s both our jobs to make sure you’re happy and healthy.” “So what– you actually want me to be honest? I won’t get in trouble?” she asked, but she still sounded like a skeptic. “Of course,” the doctor nodded, and James looked just as laid back. Dawn’s eyes still panned to either Amazon, looking for the trick or trap, but her mind must have been failing her because she didn’t notice one. “It’s…” she sighed, “It’s bad. Horrible. I hate it.” James certainly raised his eyebrows, but Doctor Wexler barely budged. “Yeah?” she softly nodded, looking like a clear listener. “Yes.” “Do you think you could tell me why?” Tell her why? How long did she want to be here? “Well, for starters, they kidnapped me,” Dawn put it bluntly and with weight, and the doctor slightly nodded, but stayed quiet, as if to let her continue. “They tricked me into becoming their slave– or doll, or whatever. They make me use diapers even when I told them I can use the toilet! They try to censor whatever I see, I can’t go anywhere without them keeping a leash on me…I’m just a prisoner that’s being treated like a kid! They control what I eat, what I drink– I don’t get any fucking choices! And whenever they say I did something wrong, I try to explain my side and they just punish me!” she threw her hands up in the air. “But no–” she scoffed, remembering every moment of frustration and anger. “It’s apparently all back-talk,” she mimicked the word in a mocking tone. “I don’t get a say because that’s somehow misbehaving. I have to sleep in a crib! They treat me like I need constant supervision, and yet the dog gets to stay home alone? They trust me less than their own goddamn pet!” She huffed as the burst finally left her system. She erupted and swore and still somehow wasn’t over someone’s knee, and that probably was headed her way the moment she left this place with James. In a sense, Doctor Wexler was protecting her from the backlash simply because it was her kingdom and her rules. James certainly looked uncomfortable in his chair, and while the Little-trician wasn’t smiling, she was still nodding attentively. “Sounds like you’ve gone through a lot?” she commented, and it finally felt like common ground for the Little. “Yes.” So much. So fucking much. “Dawn, do you know what I am?” the woman pointed a finger at herself. “A doctor,” Dawn answered simply. A doctor for what, Littles? “That’s right,” she smiled, “and I’m a special doctor that’s just for Littles. I spent a really long time learning about Littles and the best ways to take care of them and understand some of the tougher situations they might be going through. Let’s face it,” she shrugged with a sideways look, “what you’re going through is a tough adjustment, isn’t it?” “Y–...yeah…” Dawn answered, albeit a bit uneasy, “it is…” “I’m sure there’s a whole lot you’re used to doing, but suddenly it feels like that’s all different now.” Was…was she reading her mind, or something? “Yes…completely different.” “Let me guess, earlier bedtimes now?” “Yes!” Dawn answered on reflex; enough to make her flustered for a second. “Wh-where I’m from, yeah the days are shorter, but that doesn’t mean I can’t adjust!” There was the slightest bit of surprise from Doctor Wexler, and she even glanced over at James, but didn’t make any direct comment. “I see,” she nodded, “and how long are the days you’re used to?” “24 hours,” Dawn said annoyedly, “and what’re they here? 32, or something? I do just fine, though! But now they suddenly say I need to start taking naps?! And they make me go to bed early?” “Mhm…” she nodded as she approached with something like a popsicle stick in her hand. “Can you open your mouth nice and wide for me, hon? Go ‘ahh’ for me, please.” “A-ahh…!” Dawn sounded with her mouth open. “Good…” she quietly commented, then brought back her normal volume. “24, huh? I can’t imagine how little work I’d get done in a day like that,” she shared a laugh with James, but it didn’t quite hurt the slight bit of comradery Dawn was starting to sense from the woman. “So are naps a new thing for you, Dawn?” “Yeah, since the last time I needed them was when I was what, like five years old?” “Oh wow…! That’s a long time!” Doctor Wexler wow’ed. “Right?” Dawn agreed, and finally for once it actually sounded like an Amazon got it. “But they don’t care about any of that!” “Well, Dawn, I really do think Dad and Mom do care?” “How?” How could they possibly?! “32 is a whole lot more than 24. Did you know that a grown Amazon needs about 8 hours of sleep?” “No, I didn’t…but that’s the same from my dimension! I only need 8 hours too!” “For 24 hours, though?” Doctor Wexler raised a point, and Dawn bit her tongue. “Y-yes…but I’ve been here for over a week now. I can handle it just fine!” The doctor nodded, then spoke. “Uh-huh. When we don’t get enough sleep, feeling tired is a good sign of that, but what’s also another important one is our feelings,” she emphasized. “When I don’t get enough sleep I can be a little grumpy,” she smiled sheepishly. “That’s what it’s like for Amazons, and it’s exactly the same for Littles, but they feel that lack of rest much-much more. A lot of new things at once can be really stressful, right? If you’re not getting enough sleep it can make those things feel a lot worse.” Dawn was ready for rebuttal, but it was a sense of logic that unfortunately hit her upside the head. It was the farthest thing from it, but the explanation felt like a sneak attack that actually appealed to a fair sense of reason rather than an Amazon’s ignorant view. “Then…fine! I sleep earlier, but I don’t need naps!” “Well, if your day was 24 hours, I would definitely agree with you,” Doctor Wexler nodded. “Everybody needs sleep, but we’re only gonna sleep for so long at one time. That’s why Littles take naps just to get that extra little boost they need to make it through the day. Do you not like sleeping?” “It’s not about not liking sleep! It’s about being told to do something that I don’t even get a choice in!” “Sometimes that can feel unfair; choices being made for us. Amazons have to go through that a lot, too. But as your doctor, the number one person who wants you to be as healthy as can be, I say that Dad and Mom are making a good choice for you.” She looked at James. “About what time does she go to bed?” “Usually 10PM, or so,” James said, “a few hours before us.” A few hours?! Dawn looked bewildered. She was being locked away that long before anyone else?! “That’s a good time,” Doctor Wexler commented. “And I doubt we’re missing much around then, either.” Dawn was outraged, yet in spite of that she was somehow thankful to the doctor. After all, it was the first time she was hearing about actual numbers in reference to time. “Believe me,” James sighed, “if I could get a full night’s sleep at that time, I would.” “Hear that?” Doctor Wexler grinned at Dawn, “sounds like Dad’s jealous!” Jealous. Sure. Dawn turned the other cheek, but her heart skipped a beat once she slid forward. It was brief but before she knew it her pants were down to her ankles and her diaper was no longer a secret. “H-hey…!” Dawn complained, but her pants were set aside. “I can’t check your reflexes when you’re covered up like that, hon,” Doctor Wexler explained, and she made no further comment. No words spared on what she was wearing underneath. Like a diaper was the most basic thing or last thing worth spending time on. With a weird rubber hammer, Doctor Wexler bopped both her knees, causing her legs to involuntarily fire and kick. “Perfect,” she quietly said again, making more mental notes, fading between her own procedures and conversation with her patient. After a warm plastic probe was briefly stuck in her ear, the doctor started messing with some device on the other counter. “Oh, Dawn, I’m just gonna take off your shoes in a second, okay?” Doctor Wexler said over her shoulder. “Wh-why…?” The tool she was using, it was like some curved dish or table, long and wide and lined with padding. “Sneakers can get the scale dirty,” she chuckled, “and I wanna measure you, not your clothes. But the shirt can stay on.” It must have been universal Amazon magic, because it was a few seamless tugs on her shoelaces and Doctor Wexler had her naked feet on full display. She was lifted and pivoted over to the counter, and Dawn was still just as confused by what they were doing. “Ah– no, no need to stand,” Doctor Wexler smiled, and an assuring pat on Dawn’s padded bottom had the girl blushing and mute. She tried to settle for sitting, but the doctor kept guiding her body, eventually having her lay down entirely. Was this really how they weighed people in this dimension? An explanation did come, but it wasn’t directed to Dawn. “Usually we use a vertical scale for taking weights, but sometimes the Littles we deal with can have trouble standing or feel comfier on their bums or backs,” she said to James. “These tend to be a bit more accurate, too… And Dawn looks like she’s as light as she is healthy, which is great.” And only then it clicked for Dawn. What she was laying on and how she was being weighed. Was this a scale for babies? “Ah-ah, not yet,” Doctor Wexler calmly eased Dawn back down the moment she tried to get back up. “This is how we measure your height, too.” Two plastic prongs were pulled out from the side against the wall, and Dawn could feel them sliding up to the top of her head and bottom of her feet. “What kind of car seat are you using for her?” the doctor asked, another uncomfortable point for Dawn. “Uhm…I don’t remember exactly, but for smaller Littles, I’d say.” “Good,” she smiled and started undoing the measurement tools. “Wh-what does that mean?” Dawn asked, trying to be included in the loop. “That just means you’re on the smaller side of Littles, but that’s not a bad thing, okay?” Great, so she was somehow short among the short? But did it matter much, given she could be the tallest Little in the room and still be pint-sized compared to every Amazon. “Just make sure whatever you’re getting her stays in line with her height and weight bracket,” Doctor Wexler explained. “Things like car seats, strollers, and high chairs might seem universal, but you’d be surprised how much the lower end can be a safer and nicer fit for her.” Christ, a better fit? Didn’t what she have already feel confining enough? “I’ll double check with my wife, but I think we’ve been sticking with that…” James cautiously answered, and even Dawn could tell it wasn’t something he had considered. And frankly, the more ignorant he and Katherine were of the misguided views of Littles, the better. “Okay…up we go,” Doctor Wexler soothed the girl that needed no soothing, and moved her back over to the table. “Well, Dad,” Doctor Wexler exhaled, “I can’t seem to find any problems with your little girl, here! The only issue I guess is a wet diaper, but I don’t think you need a doctor for that.” Both Amazons laughed, and Dawn frowned with a blush all to herself. “Is there anything you wanted to bring up specifically with me?” she turned her head, “or maybe if Dawn’s been having any trouble? Does she poop and pee okay? Eat what she’s supposed to? Actually–” she thumbed through her folder. “You mentioned on here that…ah– yep. She doesn’t like spicy food?” “That’s not true!” Dawn blurted out. “I do like spicy! I’ve eaten spicy stuff since I’ve been here!” “She’s tried stuff,” James explained, effectively overriding whatever Dawn had to say, “but it made her cry, gave her a runny nose, all that stuff.” “Well, that’s not too surprising,” Doctor Wexler nodded, and Dawn was still being stubborn. “He’s lying!” Dawn cried. “I do eat that stuff! It’s normal for me!” “When you do, does it sometimes make your throat feel a little tight, or your whole mouth is really tingly?” Doctor Wexler asked the Little directly, motioning with her hands at each and every point. “Y-yes…but that’s the whole point!” “That’s very dangerous, Dawn,” Doctor Wexler had a soft expression, but her tone was severe. “The stuff that Amazons like can have a whole lot of nasty stuff that doesn’t taste good for Littles and isn’t good for their bodies, either. Mild and sweet, is what I’d recommend,” she said to James. “It’s not too difficult to find Little-friendly snacks or meals, or if you’re cooking from scratch, just be mindful about the ingredients you’re using.” “I-I…I don’t need to eat differently!” Dawn was ignored, and the conversation continued between the adults, and Dawn’s good will was burning away fast.“Is she going potty regularly?” “This might be a better question for my wife…” James looked embarrassed again. “From what I can tell though…yes? Well…I guess when I’ve heard about it from my wife they tend to sound more like ‘moments’ than just regular things.” Moments? Fucking moments? Like her shitting herself was a big scene? Christ, it wasn’t supposed to be something regular either! Doctor Wexler nodded and hummed with her arms folded, but she seemed like she could weather any kind of storm. Dawn was just one of many to her but fit inside all the same frames, despite her unique circumstances. "Don't worry; plenty of parents come in with the same concerns. It's not uncommon for Littles to start by having irregular bladder and bowel movements. That can be attributed to a change in diet– pre-adoption their diets can be hard solids, macro-complex sugars, overly bitter or not-so-right sweet without the proper nutrients, and all sorts of other things. Not only that, but raising a Little is a big change for you, Dad and Mom, but it also runs its course on your Dawn, too. It's nothing voluntary, but they can often be anxious or nervous about a change in environment. Kind of like how things can just set kids off in ways. Maybe a favorite cartoon gets them all excited when they hear the music come on, or they just wanna give a hug to their special big the second that they see them." “But I’m potty trained!” Dawn stressed, nearly ready to fall off the table just to get over there and slap some sense into the doctor. But every outburst she had was like another teaching moment for James. She was just a live example to be observed and analyzed. “It can sometimes be a little surprising how quickly Littles might take to diapers once they’re adopted, but usually it starts from showing signs of dependency or other factors. Namely, though, you typically hear about them having an accident somewhere public or in front of others.” It was the first Dawn was hearing of it, but clearly not for James, who nodded right back. They were trapped in their own conversation, and Dawn had no way of breaking into it. “Well, there’s a lot to it, and every case is different,” Doctor Wexler sighed, “and believe me, we wish we had all the perfect answers. Potty trained Littles, at least what we think when we hear potty training, do exist, but like any words or standards, they can tend to mean a lot of different things to a lot of people,” she explained, and the tone of skepticism was poison filling the room. “So…do you mean that most Littles aren’t really potty trained?” James asked. “No! No!” Dawn cried. What was this woman doing?! She was ruining everything! “Maybe not in the way that we’d potty train Amazon kids,” Doctor Wexler shook her head. “More often than not, the fact Little’s are able to use the potty is from a well-trained internal clock or habit. It can vary for some, maybe a few hours or just a couple, but it’s more that their bodies build muscle memory into when they’re sitting on the toilet. The feeling is associated and that’s how they just know when it’s time to pee or poo. Some might say they feel the need to go, but that’s usually their internal clock saying just maybe it’s about time to see if they need to go potty, not that they actually have to.” “Y-you actually think that?” Dawn stammered. “You really think it’s all some big performance? That we’re just getting lucky?!” “Honey, I don’t want you to feel like I’m being mean?” Doctor Wexler frowned. “You’re just being cruel!” Dawn cried. “Has she had a snack today?” Doctor Wexler again deferred to James, who was already fishing something out of the diaper bag. “No! Stop! I’m not hungry! I’m not thirsty! JUST STOP IT!” And a sippy cup of juice was promptly pushed into her mouth. “Shh…” the doctor soothed with a smile. “Just have some of that, okay?” and she said back to James, “Naps and snacks can be real game changers. So if she’s ever having a tantrum during the day, those are good first-tries.” And Dawn with nothing else to effectively say and gently put in her place, quietly sucked with a downright pissed look on her face. She had no more rope to play with, and anything else she said or did would surely be what hung herself. “And where was I…oh, right! Accidents,” she chuckled, “so that’s why when Littles might have a bad dream the night before, or maybe a stressful moment during the day, it can really throw them off. Maybe if they’re sick– the reasons are just about endless. And it’s not just negative things; even if they get too excited or have some very big feelings, it’s absolutely more than enough to disrupt their normal routines. It can be pretty easy for them to forget about using the potty, and if they miss that cue, unlike fully trained Amazons, or the rare Little, they won’t feel that physical cue which really tells them when it’s time to go.” James nodded, truly so, and it simply ate away at the girl forced to drink her juice. If she drank it faster, would it give her an excuse or opportunity to speak? Jesus, did this look like obedience just from doing this, or somehow make James think that subduing her like this really calmed her down or worked as a solution?! “I’m sorry– I kind of took a detour,” Doctor Wexler laughed. “This is all important stuff, but once Littles go back into diapers it’s not like their clocks come undone or their habits break immediately. They’re still going to have those feelings about thinking that they need to go potty, and when they want to go but aren’t allowed to, that’s going to be tough for them. It’s different from what they know and that’s why they can be anxious until it bubbles over and their body makes that choice for them.” “Should…should we be doing anything to make it easier on her…?” James asked, though he still sounded unsure. “Again, making good dietary choices for her. Constipation can sometimes be what Littles confuse with feeling the need to poo. Even Littles will feel backed up, but they’ll definitely know they’re pooping once their body starts to do it on their own. Wetting their diapers is similar too. They’ll know when their diaper starts feeling warm and they’ll assume what happened. Just give it some time and her body will adjust. But– that’s not to say she can’t have treats or anything special, okay? Just make sure you’re feeding her things friendly to her tummy. No more spicy stuff, right?” “Definitely,” James nodded, and Dawn wasn’t even halfway through her juice. “Great,” the doctor smiled. “Is there anything else you wanted to ask about?” “Well…a couple, but…” The doctor gave him a knowing look. “Better over the phone, maybe?” “Yeah, I think so.” “Wh-what…?” Dawn pulled the sippy cup away from her mouth. “Talk about what? Tell me! I deserve to know!” “I think we’ve talked quite a bit,” Doctor Wexler sighed and wiped the imaginary sweat off her forehead. “I think it’s better to discuss more later. Oh, which reminds me, Dad? If it works for you, I think I’m going to want to schedule a follow-up in a couple days; with Mom included. It’ll give us a chance to cover all our bases and take care of the last things I want to do, on top of what we might talk about,” she smirked, and the fact that Dawn had no clue what was being implied angered her to no end. “We still don’t know much about any vaccinations or shots Dawn might need or already have, so we’ll tackle that then.” “You are not giving me anything,” Dawn gave a death stare, and Doctor Wexler seemed hardly fazed. Where Dawn was a novice and new to every aggravating situation, the Little-trician had likely years of experience, dealing with Dawns a thousand times over. “That sounds good,” James quickly interrupted the tension only Dawn was feeling. “We’ll make time. We’ll both be there.” “Great! But don’t forget to bring Dawn too?” Doctor Wexler chuckled, and so did James. Laughing all at Dawn’s tired, angry, and frightened expense. “Oh, and as for times just let me know what works for you both. I’m sure we can make it fit. I imagine you’re out of work right now for this?” “Thank you, I appreciate it,” James nodded. “Of course! And Dawn, it was great getting to meet you!” she smiled at Dawn, and the Little was fighting the use of some very choice words. “And remember: Mom and Dad want what’s best for you, okay?” “Yeah,” Dawn answered with a blank stare. “The front desk will leave you with my number, and feel free to call me out of work hours. It might work better to have you both on the phone, so don’t be afraid if it’s sometime after she’s gone to bed.” Great. More conversations that Dawn wasn’t allowed to hear. More stuff that she obviously wasn’t allowed to hear, yet no one was afraid about keeping that part a secret. She was just constantly being teased. Perpetually tortured. “Thank you again very much, Doctor,” James shook her hand again and she smiled, “It’s no trouble at all. I look forward to speaking with Mom, too! We’ll just call today sort of like a dry run or preliminary check. Like I said, we’ll schedule something soon. But other than that, I’m gonna get running to my next check-up! You can leave once you’re ready, but feel free to change her in here if you’d like. Bye!” And with a small wave she left the room. Just James and Dawn. “Ready to head back home?” James nonchalantly asked as he stood. Furious crinkling was the answer. Examination paper crinkling, that is. “Dawn? You okay?” She made no reaction as she roughly tugged up her pants. “...Wanna take a nap when we get home?” “No.” No. Fucking. Naps.

Thank you so much for this fun and interesting writeup, and I can't believe that I didn't spot this up until now! I love the lore and tid-bits of any universe; stuff like this are what establishes super interesting and engaging frameworks! I always feel like I stumble and fumble in my writings, and often lose track of finer points, as much as I enjoy them, but I'm honored to be mentioned in this list, and thank you for giving me a new reference guide if I wanna expand on established/popular material! I think I agree with other folks, or maybe it was just Personalias who mentioned that maybe I wouldn't read this for my own sake as a sole view of a one and only Diaper Dimension. I really liked their take on it sort of as a comic book universe, which is having a common ground accessible to plenty of readers, but then taking their own slight deviations and changing up the formula, possibly, even if by a little! But of course, there's nothing wrong with staying within what's established and spinning an awesome story from there. I can't say for certain, but I think I'd definitely like to explore more inter-dimensional relations between the DD and our own dimension. Kind of in the same ballpark of Illegal Immigrant, Portal Littles are more of a newer concept rather than common. I wouldn't even mind taking a few steps further back from that and maybe look at small ways that the DD is starting to affect and influence things at home! Thank you again so much for being a historian!

Hi again! Apologies for my delay in response, and it's pretty great reading my commitment to a regular release schedule and then immediately failing to meet that mark. That's definitely a good way of looking at things! Sometimes I can get bogged down in perfectionism, but also sometimes it's better to just move on with a solid 95%. I'm happy to hear I've inspired, just as tons of other folks have inspired me! Thank you and best of luck with your endeavors! And also, please enjoy two more chapters! 21 - Age Appropriate It was the sensual rub on her shoulder that had Dawn murmuring in her sleep. She was on her side, cozy on her mattress, head against a plush pillow. “Time to get up already…?” Dawn groaned as she stretched, feeling the warm sunlight across her face. “Thursday’s just afternoon class for you, right?” his calm and casual tone climbed up, over and around her neck, as if she could feel his breath against her. “Yeah…” Dawn dreamily whispered, still with her eyes shut and oblivious to the rest of the world. “You?” A resounding sigh from her lover. “Yeah…well, guess I’m the early bird this semester…” She could feel the mattress shift as a body rolled and moved. “Gonna make something fast though; should I get you too?” “Mmm…nah,” Dawn yawned and stretched all over again, reaping the rewards of a well-rested body twice. “I’ll make something after…” “If I leave, you’re not just gonna go back to sleep, are you?” His voice was distant and off the bed, and she just nearly turned her head to hear him better. Just nearly. “Nope…promise.” Thankfully making a promise to her optional attendance wasn’t all that sacred. There was some moving around the bed; dresser drawers opened and closed and curtains were drawn. A few minutes later he asked, “Still with me, by the way?” “Hnnn…?” Her face rubbed into the pillow and sheets just a little more. “I’ll try again when you’re a little more awake, but, uh…sorry about being tied up with research for next week’s break, and everything… It’s just it’d look good on a portfolio, so… I promise we’re gonna do something special over the summer, okay?” “Kay…” with hardly a cognizant horse in the race, Dawn mumbled back, but she had the gist. Whatever her boyfriend was rambling on about, she had made her peace with it. “Oh, by the way, don’t forget to take care of all the junk mail on the counter; I’m gonna throw it all out if you don’t look through it!” She had a point in her mind to dismiss him, yet without any of the class or tact given how badly she wanted to go back to sleep. Putting it much more crudely in a sleepy voice, she muttered, “You’ve got…classes…” “Yep, you’re right. Love ya, and don’t go back to sleep!” “Love you…” She groaned back, trying to focus on the comfort for as long as she could. Maybe she could just skip class today and catch up on some personal reading… There was that one anthology she was enjoying, or maybe the introspective on that one convicted killer? So many choices, and she had the whole day to enjoy it. But first came finishing off the high of her sleep. And she rested there, enjoying the sunlight for a few more seconds, all until he start rocking her on the shoulder again. Slowly, gently, but to a point that she couldn’t ignore. “What…?” She tried to sound playful, but even boyfriends could only rock a sleepy girl so far. “You’re gonna be late…!” she tried to roll away, but there wasn’t much place to go. And the rocking continued, and continued, all until… Finally in a clear voice, she sighed and rose with a frustrated voice. “Luke, what?” And she opened her eyes to the sunlight, laying in her mattress, head against a cushy pillow. She blinked, staring at the dark wooden panel of the desk that she was stashed under, spinning her head back over to the light leaking in from outside the furniture. Groggily, she looked down at her bed and pillow, finding now that while her head truly was cushioned, the bedding beneath was nothing more than an Amazon jacket and hard floor. But her boyfriend rubbed her shoulder again, and she spun her head as worlds seemed to collide, but her rush and urgency stopped on a dime the moment it was killed. The baseless excitement died once she understood. The hand affectionately rubbing her came from a soft-smiling Katherine. “Did you have a nice nap, sweetheart? You slept without making a peep!” Katherine fawned and cooed, and Dawn was still trying to make sense of where she just was…or…what dream she was just having… Just a second ago she could see it; the other side of her apartment bedroom…sunny, warm, and cozy… The doorway to the bathroom was right in front of her; close enough where she could leap out of bed towards it. And yet… Her hand reached out and pressed against the wooden panel, sliding her hand up and down, like there was going to be a ripple, or intangible piece that was a portal; a gateway back to what she knew she saw and knew she was experiencing…! “Dawn?” The same female voice was calling her back though, fastening the chain to the post that kept her rooted. “Y-yeah…?” Slowly, the frazzled girl turned her head. “Did you have a bad dream?” Katherine frowned, and soon their foreheads were touching. “You don’t feel warm…” she commented, but the concern wasn’t completely gone. “I-...I’m fine,” Dawn insisted, taking another breath and trying to fight the phantom surroundings from her dream. She’d been rocked emotionally and mentally so heavily though that it gave Katherine the opportune moment to tug down her pants. “Hey…!” Dawn complained as well as a piece of paper stayed dry in water. And speaking of which, the front of her diaper was squeezed and a dry, crinkly puff spoke back. “Getting her up?” Grace, if Dawn remembered correctly, asked Katherine from her adjacent seat behind the lobby desk. Dawn could see the Amazon on her knees looking up and away to her friend that was well out of view, chatting, “Yep. We’re done for the day so I’m gonna get changed and get us out of here.” And without any debate whatsoever Dawn was being lifted up and onto her feet. “Want me to watch her while you get dressed?” Grace asked. Dawn stepped out and into the light, squinting just a small bit from actually adapting to the meager amount of darkness she had, though she did feel a tiny bit sore from sleeping effectively on the floor. “Would you mind?” Katherine smiled appreciatively, and Dawn looked up at Grace, sitting in her chair like she had been before the girl fell asleep. Her friend waved her off with a hand. “I did it the first time, didn’t I? Besides, if she slept well that means no crankiness, right?” she chuckled. “Lucky it’s been a slow day!” “Really lucky,” Katherine nodded. “Dawn, honey? I’m gonna go get dressed and then we’re gonna get going, okay? Can you behave for Grace?” Let it be said how lucky Katherine truly was. With Dawn still fully waking up it was the absolute sole reason why she wasn’t getting any pushback right then. She slept long enough to forget the good graces and also temporarily lose the energy to verbally fight back. So instead she lightly nodded, feeling distant more than anything else. “Okay, I’ll be right back,” and Katherine stood and left, leaving Dawn with sunken shoulders and a gaze up at her new warden for the brief intermission. Another stickler for the rules, but just maybe slightly less oppressive than Dayna was… “Did you wanna come sit on my lap?” Grace smiled, misinterpreting common courtesy through the eyes as just a silly child’s wanting. “No, I’m fine,” Dawn replied, lucid enough for that, at least. “How long was I sleeping for?” “How long? Hmm… I would say for a little bit, at least.” Maybe it was coincidence, but it was another mention of passing time without any real metrics. No numbers, just phrases. Qualitative, but not quantitative. “N-no, as in, like, how many hours?” Dawn clarified, hoping that being blunt was just shining light on a silly misunderstanding. “Hours?” Grace repeated, but paused for a thoughtful hum. “Hmm…a little over three, maybe?” Three? Since when did naps go for three hours? Weren’t they an hour or so at most? “That long?” “Littles like you are always having big and exciting days,” Grace chuckled, “you’re gonna need a break in between all the fun, you know!” That long though… Was she actually that tired? The days were longer here, weren’t they? So was her body just…catching up? Acclimating? The very word made her shudder just like her diaper crinkled. Her diaper…fuck. “So did you have a fun day?” Grace did both the chit and the chat, leaving Dawn to wander in her very immediate space, curiously peering around the central pillar that the desk surrounded. Almost as if it was her own fortress… “Uh…it was fine,” Dawn was passive in replying, wishing Katherine could somehow change faster. “Did you like meeting Dayna?” Did leprechauns bleed lucky charms? No, and not because the answer was blood, but because they didn’t exist. Things that don’t exist don’t bleed. So no, she very much did not like meeting Dayna. “She was…nice.” All Grace did was chuckle, and Dawn gave her a look. “What? What’s so funny?” Dawn frowned. “Hm?” she raised her eyebrows. “Oh! No; your mommy had some stuff to say about that, is all. Between you and me, sweetheart,” she leaned in with a playful whisper afoot, “you need to learn to behave!” Were they talking about her when she was asleep? “Wh-what? What did she tell you?” “How silly you can be,” Grace stayed vague with a cheery smile, and Dawn only exhaled, knowing just how impossible it was to get any kind of direct answer from anyone here. “Oh hi, Grace!” a voice from beyond the great wall was heard and the Amazon sitting with Dawn looked up and over. “Hey, Dayna! Excited to be off the clock? Vacation awaits!” “You can say that again,” and the voice drew closer. Closer right until an unfortunately familiar face was visible to both Grace and Dawn now. “Just glad I got to finish it with a fun shift, no offense!” “None taken,” Grace sighed herself, waving her hand. “Running the Little’s corner is definitely the highlight of the week,” she said, and Dayna solemnly nodded. “Definitely. Though,” Dayna chuckled for a moment, like it was required just to get the next part out, “I had to deal with one who was being a little bit bratty today…” “Oh yeah?” Grace asked, and Dawn, still somehow unnoticed, shook and quivered. She shook from the anger of knowing exactly what she was about to imply, and quivered from the fear of having dodged a bullet. It sounded like she really did have a vendetta, if only by a little. “She’s new and all, so I’m not going to hold it against her, but have you met Katherine’s new Little yet?” “Yeah, I did, actually. Sweetheart in my opinion! Not yours, though?” Grace chuckled, and by forgoing any mention of the very person standing right beside her, just maybe the Amazon was covering for her. “Mm, well… She’s something. It was like she was ready to throw a tantrum over every little thing! First she didn’t want her juice, then she got upset when I wanted to check her diaper, when she had to sit down for story time… Promise you won’t tell Katherine this part?” Secrets from Katherine? Suddenly Dawn felt an oncoming bargaining chip, even if it was a tip from her newest enemy. Grace nodded and said, “Lock and key. Whatcha got?” “When Katherine came to pick her up for lunch? She called Katherine by her first name!” And the sound of shock in the woman’s voice rang an uncomfortable bell for the culprit. Dawn looked beside herself in a weird way. Did it really matter that much? Enough to tell another person about it? And of all things, too. It couldn’t have been that important to call her Mommy, right? “Really?” Grace spoke with a similar spike of surprise, and Dayna readily confirmed. “Yes! You should’ve seen how embarrassed she was! I completely get it, but still… I can’t imagine how embarrassed I’d be if my Little called me by my name in public; gosh, even in private! I wonder if–” “Oh come on!” In a shocking turn of events, Dawn stepped back and shouted up to the heavens, catching Dayna off guard. “You can’t be serious! It’s not even that big of a deal!” Clearly Dayna was taken aback, never expecting a second listener. But still, a second later and her persona was composed. The friendly, gossiping tone was dropped for one that played from statuses, enforcing the separation between teacher and student. “Dawn? What are you doing back there?” “Minding my own business,” she spoke crudely. “What about you?” But instead of getting an answer, the grown up simply deferred to the other, continuing to talk right over the girl’s head. “Grace? Did you let her play here? Wait,” she turned her head both ways, “where’s her mommy? Where’s Katherine?” “She’s just getting changed out of her uniform. I said I’d watch Dawn for her,” Grace explained, but Dayna looked far from satisfied. “Has she been here this whole time? Katherine never brought her back after lunch– Oh, perfect timing! Katherine?” And Dayna disappeared from beyond the desk. “Jesus…what’s her problem?” Dawn muttered, but she spun her head as the floor fell from beneath her. Or, more aptly, she was picked up. “Hey!” “Don’t ‘hey’ me, troublemaker,” Grace playfully sighed, “Your mommy’s gonna get in trouble if you let anybody find out she let you nap back here, you know?” “Why, because Dayna is sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong?” “Dayna cares about Littles a lot, honey…” Grace explained, but it seemed to be sparing an awful lot of enthusiasm, to the point where the woman seemed to doubt it herself. “Let’s go hand you off. Sooner you two skedaddle the better.” “I can walk, you know?” Dawn complained, but was barely even acknowledged as Grace carried her out the back and back to the front of the desk where they closed in on Katherine and Dayna. “Katherine, you never brought her back after lunch. The whole day were you just–?” “Bwah!” Grace forcefully interrupted, and even Dawn could feel the tense atmosphere. Katherine looked pensive and reserved, meanwhile her peer came off as aggressive and annoyed. “Sorry, Kat! Dawn wanted her mommy!” And like a box of chocolates Dawn was held out as such, to which Katherine warmly accepted now in her street clothes. Dayna’s mouth still hung agape with a stern sentence she seemed like she wanted to finish, but apparently Littles really did function the same like children as far as set pieces went. No adult in their right mind would chew out another in front of a kid. “Oh, thanks!” Katherine smiled, briefly bouncing Dawn against her hip. “Did you miss me?” Dawn wasn’t sure whether she was just being exploited as a diversion at that point or Katherine was being genuine. Either way, the warm smile still made her feel uncomfortable and brought on a blush, so maybe it didn’t really matter. “And actually, Dayna, do you have a sec?” Grace asked with a sense of apology in her voice. She clasped her hands with a guilty look. “Since Katherine’s gotta go, I was wondering if you could help me organize just a few late return filings real quick? Call it your last job before vacation time?” Dayna looked caught between two different hares she was trying to catch at the same time. She briefly stuttered, then ultimately sighed. “S-sure…” “Perfect! Thank you so much!” Grace grabbed Dayna by the shoulder, then tapped Katherine’s. “Have a good night, Kat; be good for Mommy, Dawn!” Apparently if it was coming from an Amazon and not a Little, Katherine was adept at reading cues, hence why they were already drifting away. “Thank you!” She waved. “Have a great vacation, Dayna!” Katherine called, then whispered in Dawn’s ear, “Can you say bye to Grace?” “What?” Dawn, not whispering so much, rebutted, “why?” “Because she did something very nice for us. Please?” And like that they were back to speaking in broad strokes and flowery words. Reluctantly, and without a gesture, Dawn called out blankly, “Bye Grace.” “Bye-bye!” Grace, still within earshot, waved back, still escorting Dayna away. “Jesus, what was her problem?” Dawn vented as they reached the outside. “Was she mad at you, or something?” “No, Dayna wasn’t mad,” Katherine was quick to correct, “she just…wanted to make sure everything was okay,” she briefly explained, but didn’t leave room for comment. “More importantly, did you have a fun day?” Calling it ‘fun’ couldn’t have been farther from the truth. But what wore on the girl was Katherine’s constant smiling. Her stupid, kind words and overbearing attitude, especially with how upset she could be over the stupidest things that Dawn would say or do… “It was…interesting.” She froze up from the elated gasp from the Amazon. “Really?” Katherine asked, sounding no less happy. “Oh, that’s great! I’m so glad you had a fun day!” She squeezed her tighter, and Dawn tried to push back just to give herself breathing room. “I know we had some problems, but I know it was a lot of fun spending my lunch break with you!” And maybe it felt begrudging to admit, but that was probably the highest point of the day for Dawn as well, if not the part where she slept through the remainder of it. After all, she was at least humored in browsing some of the books, even if she was censored the whole way through. It was the highest point, if only because everything else was simply so much worse. “Next time…” Dawn started, but wished she never even began. Next time. When was next time? Tomorrow? Two days from now? Days. Days she referenced going by with the full expectation that she would be here for that much longer. Waiting and wondering just when her sentence would end. “‘Next time’ what?” Katherine, as inquisitive as always, bounced Dawn on her hip like she needed a reminder to finish her questions. “...Nothing. So now can we go home?” Dawn asked as she looked around the parking lot, finding it to be far more packed than it was that morning. “We can…” Katherine lulled, and Dawn wasn’t much of a foodie, but she knew how to smell a carrot dangling from a stick. “I was thinking we could make one quick stop somewhere first. Is that okay?” No, it probably wasn’t. “Where are we going?” “It’s a surprise! Do you wanna guess?” “I just want to go home… Can we, please?” “We will right after. I promise you’ll like where we go, though!” Soon Dawn was slipped into her car seat, slipped and snaked into the cushioned seat, safely secured and strictly strapped into place without a chance of getting out on her own. What she didn’t appreciate was her accompanying accessory set being placed right next to her. She watched Katherine drop the diaper bag right next to her before shutting the door and getting into the driver’s seat. “Wanna listen to some music?” Katherine asked as she pulled out of their space. “Nope. All set.” Did she really care if her doll was entertained or not? “Ta-dah!” The excitement was sure and true, but it wasn’t shared. Dawn gave her a skeptical look as she watched outside the window from her seat. In another attempt to spark some joy, Katherine asked, “Dawn, you know where we are, right?” A sliver formed between her lips just to let out a quiet sigh. “A toy store?” “Yes, the toy store! Don’t you wanna pick something out?” Again, the Amazon kept trying to sweeten the pot, but her tricks and tactics were simply suited for a different kind of opponent. “Can’t we go to a bookstore, or something? I’ll gladly pick out a book,” Dawn tried to compromise. “They sell books here, too! But, you need to pick something out to play with too, understood?” “Why is it so important I get a toy? I don’t play with toys, Katherine,” Dawn tried to explain as clearly as she could, yet hearing the clicks and snaps of her own car seat straps seemed to make for a sore juxtaposition, somewhat. “Because you need fun things to play with!” Katherine emphasized, finally sighing herself, albeit in a much more playful way. “I like books too, but I can’t be a bookworm my whole life!” In other words, diversify with your hobbies. What “hobbies” was Dawn allowed to have here? Books, if at all, and what; playing with toys? Toys and books? Or were her hobbies just the different games that she was supposed to play? The self-defeatist attitude was as justified as it was demoralizing. But having been through the song and dance enough, Dawn decided to be as much of a buzzkill as Katherine could be when she wasn’t the one getting her way. “Is it because of LPS?” The apparent Big Brother of this world. “Don’t worry about that,” Katherine hushed much more somberly, but she still came off as positive. “Besides, you tried really hard today and you deserve a treat for that. Anything you want, okay?” “So what if I want nothing?” A real glass half-empty kind of gal. “Then I pick something,” Katherine grinned, catching Dawn in a way she didn’t expect, annoyedly so. “Fine. Whatever…” Dawn muttered on the brief walk across the lot and into the store, advertising with big bubbly, colorful letters and all. The moment they stepped inside, Katherine was already fawning. “Oh wow! Isn’t it so big?” She pointed and Dawn followed her finger up to the massive animal balloons floating around the warehouse ceiling. Pigs, cows, and horses, all equally as round and bloated save for their unique colors and tails. They looked larger than life; far bigger than the normal Amazon, and only served as a reference for just how big this place really was. “Yeah, cool,” Dawn commented, then glanced at all the metal cages of balls, boxes, colorful adverts and distant beeping and buzzing noises. Katherine walked them through the entrance, swiping a catalog like it was some kind of dead drop. Had Dawn not been watching the endless number of pages flip past her fingers, she likely would have seen the stars in Katherine’s eyes as she made small noises of glee at the colorful image explosion of endless products, gadgets and gizmos. “Sure we’re not here to get you a toy?” Dawn called her out, and all she did was chuckle. “Hmm, maybe! I only get to come here when it’s for one of my nieces or nephews, so I guess I’m a little excited to have another reason to go…” Katherine giggled. Or in other words, Dawn was but another means to an end. “So? Did you have any ideas?” “Ideas? I wanted a book. Not a toy. If we get Waver a toy can I just take the book?” “That’s very thoughtful of you,” Katherine said as she rubbed her head, “but I think he has plenty of things to play with. You on the other hand?” So much for trying… She sprung for the first pointless thing that came to mind. “Fine. Blocks. I don’t know.” “Yeah? Let’s go see if we can find some…” And off they went. The toys certainly were endless, much like the shrieking children and crying Littles inside the store. “NO! I WANT BOTH!” One would wine, and another would beg. “Just fucking let me go you sadistic bitch!” Identifiably, the Littles were the ones with more…refined language. And while Katherine may have tried, either her hasty pace to avoid the meltdown or hand to cover just one of Dawn’s ears was always a reactive strategy rather than a proactive one. “Pllleeeeeaaaasssse!” “Mommy! Mommy! This one! This one!” “I DON’T WANT A FUCKING TOY! I’M AN ADUL–” Cue the slaps and smacks. “You don’t have to try and cover my ears, you know…” Dawn spoke simply, getting more annoyed with each attempt. Katherine, missing the point entirely, opted for an unnecessary teaching moment by saying, “I don’t want you thinking that just because others do, that doesn’t mean you can use naughty words, understood?” “Yeah, kinda figured that…” Maybe it was all in her head, but her bum may have twitched just then. Hearing more and more from kids and captures had her both unnerved and observant. Of course it made her uncomfortable; she was forced to listen to people who had it just as bad as her. They were all mirrors for her circumstances, as far as she could tell. Maybe that’s why the store was so big as well. Enough space and soothing music from overhead speakers just to tune out the cries of the eternally damned. “I think we found what we’re looking for!” They finally turned into an aisle that was thankfully empty. The tall shelves were organized like warring factions, each section championing some kind of branding or product. Something that looked like a knock-off for legos, others as some superior imitation of knex, and more. Big block sets, small block sets; soft ones, hard ones, plush, mesh, and more. It had to have been some kind of haven for any aspiring materials engineer. One that still needed pull-ups for bed at night. “There’s so many…!” Katherine looked up, down, left, and right. “You’ve got a lot to choose from, huh?” “Those,” Dawn pointed out a small box. “Let’s get those ones.” “These ones?” Katherine crouched and pulled the box off the shelf. It was a bright orange box seemingly filled to the brim with cubes, spheres, and prisms of endless shapes, sizes, colors, and patterns. A circular cutout lined with plastic was a snapshot into the eternal land of creativity the toy assuredly had, but Dawn hardly cared. It could have been as boring as a stick in the mud and she still would’ve asked for it. As long as it was in the same place. After all, she pointed at the first thing she saw. “Hmm…” Katherine hummed, and Dawn by chance followed her finger tracing across the packaging. Her digit moved and moved over the selling points and finally stopped on some label. ‘L4+’ Interesting, but certainly more random jargon. Dawn didn’t care to think too hard, given how peeved she still was by that Library’s stupid sorting system. She’d figure it out soon enough, but she didn’t want anything else to kick her while she was still down. “And you’re sure about these?” Katherine asked, like she was warning her with a ‘last chance’ sort of look. “Yep. They’re perfect.” “Alright then!” And in Katherine’s hand they stayed. Boom. Easy. Done. “Can we go now?” After thinking twice about it, she decided it’d probably be better not to try and see any of the books here. Given the setting, she was more than likely going to leave book-less and disappointed. “Yes, we can,” Katherine started, but then stopped, raising her eyebrow with a grin. “After you pick something you really want?” Was it really that obvious? Dawn just barely clicked her tongue. “I said I wanted those blocks, didn’t I?” “And I’m sure you do, but let’s pick out something else, okay? I want you to really think about it, okay?” “How should I know what I want if I didn’t even want anything from the start?!” Was she really being forced to choose if she was upfront about her complete lack of interest? “That’s okay,” Katherine soothed and bounced, but it only made Dawn boil hotter. “How about I walk down some aisles, and if you like it, we’ll get it?” “Then…just get me another thing of blocks, or whatever.” At least playing architect meant needing the imagination for what a finished building might look like. “You have enough blocks,” Katherine decided for her, now apparently the arbiter of all Dawn’s needs and wants. “We’re still gonna get you a book too, you know?” “Don’t want one anymore.” “What? Why not?” “Just don’t. Changed my mind.” “...Well, can I pick a book out for you?” “I’d really rather you didn’t.” And instead of pushback, Dawn got literal pushback when the Amazon smothered her cheek against her face. “Jeez…what’s got you so grumpy?” Katherine frowned for just a second, but was back to smiles as they moved down the aisles, traversing the endless maze. Some time later, Dawn felt the need to broach a recurring and uncomfortable topic. “Kath– Mommy?” Shit. No one was nearby, as far as she could tell. She could have gotten away with it…! “Ya-huh? See something you like?” and she already started to turn on her heel. “No. I…I need to go use the bathroom.” “Hm? You don’t feel wet…” But before Katherine could administer a check, Dawn quickly spoke up, “N-no! I didn’t…urgh, I didn’t do that! I’m just saying that I need to go!” “Oh,” Katherine said, though her face implied the disconnect. “Dawn? Sweetie, it’s okay to use your diaper?” “Yeah, I know!” Fuck! No! I don’t know because it’s not okay! “Just… Please? No one’s watching! No one’s gonna know! Just take me!” “Dawn…please don’t get upset with me.” “I’m not gonna be upset if you just let me go!” The very thought of needing to go had her fidgeting, but Katherine’s arm around her back kept her from going anywhere. “Are you nervous?” “Nervous?” How did that even apply to the situation? It was just…disgusting! And yes, embarrassing! Nervous didn’t even apply! Nervous made it sound like peeing herself was a willing possibility, like she just needed a light push on…! “I’m not nervous! I’m just…just let me go use the bathroom! If…if I pick out a toy will you let me? Please?” “No, but I’d still like it if you picked something out,” and like it was an open and shut case, Katherine kept walking. That was it, then. No more talk about using the bathroom. “Ka– Mommy! Please!” Dawn begged and her legs squirmed. All because of that stupid juice…! “Shh…Dawn, it’s okay, honey.” Softly, yet firmly, she was being refused, and every second with trying to hold it meant less brain cells she could use to strike up an argument. “You’re not even being fair…!” “It’s okay…” she tried shushing the girl, moving on to hums, “you don’t need to be embarrassed.” Dawn at many points had been a fool in underestimating the absurdity of this dimension, but at least now she was starting to see when and where she was at a total loss, hence her frustration right then. At the library she had no option; no Katherine to beg. However now she did and couldn’t afford herself the excuse of “had Katherine been there, maybe things would have gone differently.” The only difference though would be being held while she peed herself versus standing on her own two feet. “Just…can you just put me down?” Dawn was desperate with her shaky ask. “I won’t run…!” Even if she tried, her bladder would be the first thing to give out before her legs. And like the question hadn’t already been asked, Katherine whispered, “Honey, are you nervous?” “Yes, I’m nervous!” Dawn blurted out. Fuck it, if she was being forced to do it, then yes, she was nervous! Nervous and embarrassed. Disgusted like she was since doing it the first time. Every disgusting and awful feeling that came with the act…! But in a shocking turn of events, Dawn was slowly set on the floor. Yet another dreadful compromise. A small, technical victory, which was nothing but a loss framed through a different lens. “Ah-ah!” Katherine snagged Dawn by the hand the moment she tried to take a step. “Stand right here.” “What? Why?” Dawn asked as she was parked in front of the shelf, feeling a shadow overhanging her as it reached closer to the floor. Soon Dawn was being held by the waist while Katherine was crouched behind her, covering the Little on both sides with her legs and hanging her head over her. “Katherine?” “No one’s watching, it’s okay,” Katherine whispered, and Dawn felt an assuring pat on her stomach. “Just look at the toys, okay?” “W-wait, no!” Dawn tried to wriggle free, but the Amazon wasn’t letting go. “S-stop!” “Didn’t you want some privacy?” “Y-yes…!” Privacy from everyone! “But…but you’re…!” “Dawn,” and she broke up the words with a kiss atop her head. “It’s nothing I haven’t seen, silly. Just let me know when it feels like you’re done, okay?” Let it be known that it could have been argued this was something Katherine had not seen. However, it couldn’t be debated that she had certainly seen Dawn do worse… Pertaining to the number poo variety… Or did she pee herself then, too? It didn’t matter! Her breaths were nervous all the same and she was waiting for the chance to disappear, but the adrenaline was just making her feel the need to pee even more. What was she supposed to do? Lie and say she went? What if Katherine checked her just to see if she did? Or what if she didn’t? Then Dawn would really have to pee herself in an even more public situation than this farce for privacy already was. If anyone did see, they’d just see a mother sheltering her child from the rest of the world while they did whatever kids do. Cry? Throw a tantrum? Wet their diapers? Either way there would be the instant recognition, and the only thing protecting Dawn from that was her own willful ignorance and Katherine’s motherly demeanor shielding her from it. She breathed and breathed. Inhaled and exhaled. Sighed, fidgeted, and squirmed. Finally she was looking at what was in front of her. Speed Racerz toy trucks, zipping across the cardboard cover in a blazing trail and all. Big, bulky plastic trucks…with big wheels…premade, customizable tracks, and… A meager meep left the girl’s mouth as her legs went stiff and she tensed up. A warm drop left her body, but it didn’t go far. Katherine’s touch was almost as snug and secure as the diaper was around Dawn’s hips, quickly soaking up the sudden and ongoing stream. For a quiet, uninterrupted moment, she wet herself; freely as much as she’d been forced to. “Good job…!” Katherine whispered her praise as an Amazon hand wiped away the tears. She’d done it multiple times before, but never in such close proximity like this. There was simply no way of hiding from her. Even if she knew what went on, and even if she changed her diapers, what didn’t change was the self-disgust and embarrassment. “Why…why do I have to…?” Dawn tearily muttered. “Because we love you so much, sweetie,” and after another kiss Dawn had finally emptied her system, drained in more ways than one. “Ready to go back up?” Meekly, Dawn nodded. “And…upsie-daisie!” Katherine cooed and Dawn soared. Apparently she’d put on a show convincing enough to not warrant a diaper check, and her face grimaced once her thickened, diapered front pressed her fake-mommy’s side. “Just tug my shirt if you see something you like,” she said as she rubbed her back, and on they went. They went and went. Aisle to aisle. Dolls, stuffed animals, play sets, kitchen imitations, and more. There were toys that felt awfully advanced for what Dawn would consider friendly for kids. Train sets with gearboxes to manipulate the speeds, robots with programmable command sets, and make believe cauldrons with “substance synthesizers – PARENT MUST SUPERVISE,” and so on. Everything at first glance reminded her of what might be pure gold to kids 8 and under, but the idea felt deceptive once she had a closer look. “Wait,” Dawn finally spoke up, “what are those?” “Those?” Katherine took a step back. It was a large display behind a thick layer of transparent plastic glass, or something. Large, wide tablets were propped up on tiny posts, lined in protective and color casings that had handles reminding Dawn of her sippy cups. The edges were patterned and textured for easy grip and the top even personified the technology with a friendly cartoonish face. Maybe there really were some parallels between this dimension and her own. They were tablets marketed for kids. Dawn was no kid, naturally, but it probably felt like it was the most dignified thing she could get. It was the first screen she had seen since losing her phone. Ignoring the childish case, it could just maybe be something bearable. And after all, Katherine did say she could get anything… “I’ll get one of these,” Dawn decided. And she waited for Katherine to grab one above the display. And she waited. And waited. “...Why don’t we look at something else?” “What? But you said I could get anything? It’s a toy, isn’t it?” “Yes, it is, but I don’t think we need any more screens in the house. Besides…” she murmured as she looked at one of the boxes, “I don’t know if one would be appropriate. Let’s go find a different toy, okay?” “Wh-what? But it’s actually something that I want!” “And I’m sorry, Dawn, but I don’t want you playing with one of those,” Katherine explained, but her decision was firm. “Maybe another time, okay? But let’s try and get you some things you can touch and play with in your hands.” “Yeah, and you can use a tablet in your hands. Katherine, please? I lost my phone; this is the closest thing to that!” “Dawn, no,” she firmly said it again. “And…ah, see here?” Dawn looked at where she was pointing. ‘A6+’ “Yeah? And?” “The ‘A’ means ‘Amazon’,” Katherine slowly explained, then traced the six and plus. “It’s for Amazon kids that are six and up.” Her first instinct was to blink, and then to wonder to what kind of discrimination she was being subjected to. Because she was a Little? Wait– no, that was obviously the reason. The only reason. But did the age factor even matter? “A-are you serious?” “Uh-huh, see the ‘A’?” Katherine started to re-explain, “That’s the first letter for ‘Amazon’--” “I know how to spell! But are you seriously saying I can’t have one because I’m a Little?” “Dawn, some toys are made for different boys and girls, okay? There’s even toys just for Littles, too!” Like the mutual exclusivity was somehow supposed to make her happy again. “Katherine, that shouldn’t matter. I’m smarter than a six-year old, Amazon or not. I know how to use a tablet!” “I don’t think you should be using things like that, is all.” “What? Why?!” Would it somehow be too stimulating for her? Was that it? “Because–” And just because Dawn’s foot was against Katherine’s thigh she could feel the vibration from her pants. After maneuvering the Little in her arm she pulled out her own personal tablet, answering a call with the phone against her ear. “Hi honey, what’s up?” James? Was she talking to him? “Put it on speaker…!” Dawn hissed quietly, and Katherine didn’t even look at her, as if it was deliberate, like she was implying not to ask. “Uh-huh, yeah,” Katherine paced in place, bouncing her charge as if to distract her. Dawn could hear mumbling noises from the phone, but hardly anything to piece out something on the other end of the phone. “We’re at the toy store right now, actually! Just getting Dawn a few things she can play with.” “Mhm. Mhm? Wait, she’s…right now? Waiting? Al…alright. Okay, we’re on our way now. We’ll just be a few minutes, okay? Okay…thank you…” Katherine took a breath that Dawn knew to be nervous, and she concluded the call by saying, “Love you. Bye.” “What? What was that about? Did James call?” Dawn was immediately asking, and Katherine was hardly telling. Dawn checked both ends of the aisle before making her move, finally whispering in the Amazon’s ear, “Katherine!” “Huh? Sorry, sweetie? What?” “Who called?” “Just James, sweetie… Hey, we’re gonna just get you the blocks for now, okay? We’ll come get you some more toys another day,” she explained as they started walking back to the front of the store. “You’re acting weird,” Dawn gave her a scrutinizing look. “What’s wrong?” “Nothing’s wrong; everything’s okay,” Katherine smiled, but Dawn wasn’t buying it, and the lack of communication was poisoning the already toxic waters. But not needing to pick a toy out was in its own way a victory, so maybe the urgency to leave wasn’t all that bad. After all, if Katherine wasn’t running, surely no one died. No big deal, then. “Who’s here?” Dawn couldn’t help but notice the black car parked out by the sidewalk, but her personal chauffeur was headed straight for the house, skipping the driveway and stone walkway by shooting through the lawn. It seemed urgent, but apparently not enough for Dawn’s bundle of blocks to be left behind in the car, now hanging from Katherine’s wrist in the bag they were packaged in. The door was unlocked and Katherine stepped inside. “James?” she called. “Right over here!” he called back and around the corner. It was like a dramatic reveal with the way they stepped into view. James was positioned opposite to them, and in between was an eerily familiar head of hair. That same head turned up for a moment, then stood to realize its full Amazon form. “Hi Katherine, I’m sure you remember us meeting the other day?” she held a hand out over the couch. “Francine?” “R-right,” Katherine forced out a chuckle, shaking her hand. “From LPS?” “Gosh,” the woman feigned a frown, looking distraught, “I hate seeming like the boogeyman with all these visits…! Ah! And this cutie right here is Dawn! Not Donna!” she corrected and laughed, but Dawn didn’t. As friendly as she tried to be, Dawn wasn’t fond of Amazons, especially the ones that talked to her like she really did go to daycare. Other than that, a smiling face that intruded on your home in a suit and badge never had any real smiles to give. “Oh, please, sit!” Francine gestured over to James, which Katherine quickly went for, sitting leg to leg with her husband. “I just had the chance to meet with James.” “S-sorry for making you wait,” Katherine jostled the bag, “We were just getting Dawn some toys from the store.” “Oh, that’s not a problem,” the woman smiled. “What toys did you get her?” It was a fairly innocent question, but even Dawn couldn’t help but feel slightly weirded out by it. There were different ways to ask something like that. One was as a lead-in to cheer for the child who got them, acting all impressed and excited, but this wasn’t like that. As if it was a question exclusive to the Amazons in the room. Like she was ready to judge. “Just some blocks to play with… She loves being creative…!” Katherine explained on the spot as she quickly pulled them out, brandishing them. “Oh those look fun,” James leaned out just to see for himself. “Right?” Katherine agreed. “Dawn picked them out all by herself!” “Good pick, Dawn!” “Yeah, thanks…” the Little murmured. “Would you mind if I took a look?” Francine asked, already holding her hands out. “O-of course,” Katherine obliged. The woman stared at the packaging for a brief moment, slowly turning it over, studying the contents like it was a bomb, or something. But whatever inspection she was conducting, possibly they passed, because she was soon handing it back over for James to accept. “Thank you,” and just a second later she was typing something in on her phone. “Did you get her anything else?” “Anything else…? No…well, we were going to, but…once my husband called that you were here, we hurried…so…” and with each pause she made a half-glance at her husband, like somehow he might have an answer. “Oh, well I’m sorry for interrupting like this!” Francine chuckled, and James did most of the heavy lifting on meeting her gesture halfway. Dawn was back to being coddled like a security blanket for Katherine. “Just to reintroduce myself for you both: my name is Francine Bush and I’m a case handler for LPS. I’m here on a report that was made about an alleged mishandling, or kidnapping that’s still under investigation.” Despite the obvious tension, Dawn with her lack of knowledge had a far easier time being rude. So out she blurted, “Yeah, the one that person was lying about?” “Dawn…!” Katherine warned sternly, then quickly apologized, “I’m sorry, she…I think she’s just a little upset we couldn’t finish our trip to the toy store…” “No, that’s okay!” the woman smiled, then pointed at the box in James’ lap. “Actually, I’d hate to be the reason she can’t play with her new stuff. Why don’t we let her keep busy with that while we talk?” “I’m fine, I don’t want to–” But the sound of tearing cardboard was already making Dawn purse her lips. Suddenly a rainstorm of blocks was pattering on the floor. The only kind of forethought that saved her was using her feet to stand before Katherine could set her on her bottom – her warm diaper, before she could feel the squish. It felt like she was under a magnifying glass now that every big in the room was sitting on the couch, and she was the cute decoration playing in the middle. On the floor. Lower than everyone else. She had half a mind just to make a point of her disinterest, but just to keep up the bare minimum of appearances she slowly dangled one block over another, watching the unsurprising clank and crumble of her two-block structure. And as she performed similarly unimpressive feats, she quietly listened on. “Where’s Waver…?” Katherine quietly whispered to James. “Upstairs. Figured it’d be better to keep him in our room…” “So,” Francine continued, “I said I’d be making some unscheduled visits in the future. I apologize for this one being so soon; it’s important for these kinds of things that we get to meet both parents, if and when applicable,” and she nodded to both Amazons. “If–” Katherine spoke up, suddenly stopping. “If…if James can answer any questions a-about whatever this witness reported…” “No, that’s alright,” Francine said. “I was able to ask him some things before you got here. Unfortunately I can’t offer any more information right now other than that the claims are still being investigated. I hope you can understand, but we take the wellbeing of Littles into very serious consideration, which is why we ask that until we’ve resolved everything, you don’t try to finalize any sort of adoption paperwork.” “Right, of course,” James was the one to answer, and even with her back to them, Dawn could feel the strength leaving Katherine. “So is there anything we can do for you?” “Well…like I said, I know that it’s soon, but as of yesterday I understand you both were still getting some of the essentials for Dawn?” “Y-yes. We finished the start of her nursery the other day,” Katherine explained, and James backed her up. “A crib, changing table…” “And a toy chest?” Francine raised her eyebrows, and only after a solid second did she smile with a glance down at the blocks, finally implying that what she made was a joke. James and Katherine made another on command laugh. “That’s great, then,” Francine murmured as she did something else with her phone. “And how did today go? You both work, yes? Do you already have her in daycare?” Nope. No daycare… Dawn quietly shook her head helplessly as she tried to balance a cylinder on a cube. “W-well…I brought her into work with me today,” Katherine slowly started. “My work has a place that watches parent’s Littles when they need to do research or use any of the library’s services.” “Mhm…” More notes on her phone. “And that’s for employees, as well? They watch the Littles of employees?” “There’s…there’s no rule against it…” Katherine explained, but she sounded a bit stunned, like she was caught off guard. “And is that your long term solution for her?” Francine glanced from guardian to guardian. “Every day at the library?” Maybe minus Dayna, sure, it could work… Dawn pessimistically supposed. “A couple days out of the week I regularly work from home,” James volunteered. “She’ll be staying at home with me then.” “While you’re working?” Every question she had seemed to be judging. Maybe it was her job, but did she have to sound so bitchy about it…? “I’m able to be away from my computer; she’ll be under safe supervision,” James answered with more confidence than Katherine could seem to. “Okay…” Francine nodded, making more notes. “Is…is that okay?” Katherine asked, finally asking an obvious yet unanswered question. It felt like something fairly essential, and yet Francine sounded like she was only answering because they asked. Otherwise it was on a need to know basis. “For now, yes, but I’m sure you both understand we want what’s best for Dawn’s wellbeing?” “Right,” husband and wife agreed. “That’s why I’d be concerned about her socializing opportunities. Sometimes parents can underestimate it, but having routines and consistent faces can be important for a Little to feel comfortable with their environment. At the library; is it usually the same Littles that are being dropped off?” The air went quiet for a moment. Finally, Katherine, like a student caught without her homework, admitted, “Not…all the time, no… It-it’s just that getting her into a daycare this time of year when it’s already in the middle of the year…” Another wordless nod from Francine. “That’s alright. It should be fine for now, but I suggest trying to put her around with some other kids her developmental age. As far as daycare goes, we can arrange something for you if need be.” Dawn stayed quiet, but boy was she clambering those blocks real hard. There was no way in hell she was going to a daycare. And what gives? Being forced to play with mindfucked Littes? What did she mean by “developmental age?” She had the developed mind of an adult, so that obviously meant socializing with adults. Right? Right? “How about doctor’s visits? Do you have anything scheduled for her yet?” Every question was like a bombshell that threw the Amazons off their game. Dawn had never seen the mighty and immovable checkmated before. “No…not yet… We wanted to find someone that we were comfortable with…” Whether it was true or not, this was the first Dawn was hearing Katherine speak of it. “Mhm, I can understand new parents being nervous about that,” Francine sagely nodded, and for once it felt like they’d reached a point of common ground. “But it is important you make sure your Little is up to date on everything and in good health. It’s a number one priority we recommend,” and she let the pause hang just to intensify her point. “Littles pre-adoption can be known to not be so proactive with taking care of themselves. Thank goodness they have the grown ups looking out for them though, right?” Another collective laugh from the trio, all at Dawn’s bitter and annoyed expense. “Which is why…” Francine, already with something prepared in her inner pocket, pulled out a slip and scribed a few things on it with a pen. “I’d like you two to take her to that appointment for tomorrow,” she handed them the paper. “I understand if the timing may not be ideal, but it really can’t be overstated making sure your Little is in good health…” “Nope, we understand,” James nodded, glancing down at the slip. “I’ll make the time. No worries.” “Perfect,” Francine nodded appreciatively. “That’s an appointment for a local Little-trician we like to refer parents to in the area. There won’t be any need to explain the situation or your current circumstances; just treat it as a normal check-up. You’re more than welcome to use her as Dawn’s primary care moving forward, but we’d like to know of any switches you might be making if that’s the case.” “Right…thank you,” James said again, and Katherine said something similar. “Okay,” Francine exhaled, then looked around the living room. “Since things have changed, would it be alright if I saw her nursery now?” She lifted her note-taker from the coffee table. “Just to keep all our information fresh.” Just how anal is she…? Dawn wondered as she contemplated the best way to chuck a ball at her spindly structure. Maybe in a way where the ball would hit the woman? More importantly, she still had the card to play about being stranded here by a tour guide, but would she even listen? As “helpful” as she sounded, Dawn didn’t quite get the most positive vibes from her… If anything though, at least she gave thoughtful explanations, as twisted as they are. Nothing like “bad words are bad, or this toy isn’t appropriate for you.” She worked like math whereas Katherine functioned like creative literature. Vague and operating on a sense of reason that merely just “felt” right. Real glime-dazzling stuff. “Kat?” James stopped his wife from standing. “Why don’t you stay with Dawn while I go show her around? Sure your day was busier than mine.” “That’d be fine,” Francine cooly included. “I’m done with my questions for today.” “Uhm…sure…” Katherine agreed, sinking back on her seat. And Dawn flinched once a rough hand over her head tousled her hair, leaving the gesture in James’ wake as he walked ahead with the LPS worker. “We have a high chair for her if you want to see that?” James chatted as he guided her to the stairs. “That’d be great. I’ll see it on the way out…” Dawn watched them disappear up the second flight from her leaned out position. But before she could look away she was suddenly pulled into a tight embrace. “K-Katherine?” Dawn grunted over the sniffles from the woman. “C-can you let go?” “I’m sorry…” she sniffled again, sounding on the verge of tears. “I love you more than anything, sweetheart.” And without asking to, Katherine kissed her on the forehead. With Dawn’s foot hanging from the hold, still close enough to the floor, all she did was kick one of the spheres with the back of her foot. Going… Crash! Crumble! The great tower of babble had fallen. 22 - Decompress “Is it not going to affect your work?” Katherine spoke with James, and Dawn did her damndest to contribute. “Don’t worry, I’ll be able to make the time,” James was casual as he passively rubbed his palms from his seat. “Thankfully my time is flexible when I’m at home.” “Mm…” Katherine quietly agreed, and Dawn boredly watched the Amazon, sitting right behind the Little with her legs splayed on both sides like walls meant to keep the smaller girl in. She watched her hand occasionally add a block to her amalgamation of cube, prism, cylinder and more. The once mighty tower had fallen and much like the result of Babel, better thought of as babble, that’s all either architect seemed to be communicating with each other. Dawn placed a block here, Katherine placed one there. Dawn implied step one, and Katherine opted for step six. The conversation finally reached one of those quiet moments, and while Dawn seriously doubted that was for her sake, she certainly treated it like so. Speaking up, she said, “So did either of you two plan on asking me?” “Ask what, sweetheart?” Katherine patted the top of her head. “Ask if I was okay with any of this? What did she even call it? A Little-trician? Is that like a doctor, or something? I’m not going to any doctor.” There wasn’t a need for one. None whatsoever. Maybe mentally was an ongoing question, given how horrible things were becoming, but at least physically she was in tip-top shape. “Well Dawn,” Katherine used her gentle, ‘too dumb to understand’ tone, “you have to go to the doctor’s. What if you get sick?” “I’m not going to get sick,” Dawn said, then immediately realized how ridiculous that sounded. “I’m not sick. Not right now. Fine, take me if I get sick, but not until then. I feel fine!” “Dawn, we all have to go to the doctor’s,” James turned it into a double-team. “The LPS lady gave us an appointment. We have to go.” “There’s a number on that, isn’t there? Just call and cancel, or something. Tell them I feel fine.” “Dawn…you need to go,” the woman right behind her said. “Just let me stay here!” Dawn insisted, and James looked up, like he was sharing a look with his wife beyond the Little’s scope of vision. “Why don’t we all go tomorrow?” Katherine offered, not to Dawn, but to James. “I’d want to meet them, too…” “Well if this works out, you can always take her the next time,” James suggested, and Dawn looked concerned. “What do you mean ‘next time’?” the Little tried to interrupt. “I’m not going the first time either!” “I can just call out for the afternoon; they’ll understand.” “Hon, you called out once this week already,” James played the gentle opposition. “It’ll be fine, I promise.” “I’m not going!” Dawn raised her voice, and Katherine calmly tried to shush her. “Shh…shh…indoor voices,” she calmly reminded her, and Dawn was ready for another outburst. But all it took was that stupid look from James! It wasn’t enough to make her any less agitated, but…she felt far less willing to challenge his wife’s mercy. “I know, but…” Katherine started, but started to drift. “It’ll be fine, trust me,” James smiled, and Katherine did as well. Dawn sure didn’t though. “Let’s forget about that stuff, though. You two have a good day?” “Meh,” Dawn scoffed just as Katherine looked like she wanted to say something much more glowing. “Meh?” James raised his eyebrow, but looked at his wife for answers. “Do you remember Dayna? She was in charge of the Littles today at work. Dawn had a little bit of a rough day…” Rough day? Being forced into the custody of strangers, have her hobbies and interests be made mockeries of and held out of reach, and plummet her dignity by being treated like an actual child, and that was all just a “rough” day? It was a fucking horribly unfair day! The worst of the worst! Shitty, no-good…! “Did you behave?” Suddenly Dawn was included, for the softest of softball questions only, of course. “I did what I was told,” Dawn exhaled, dropping another block on what could have only been an architect’s worst nightmare. “She was good,” Katherine said just as it looked like James was going to say something back. “Just a little nervous around new people, and that’s okay.” More misdirection and misinformation. She was the farthest thing from nervous. Pissy and independent would have been more accurate. But she was sitting between the legs of a woman who had more or less been her safeguard all day, and even now against the person that spanked her once already. “I-...” Dawn came off the handle again, ready to correct her, but quickly went quiet. Maybe it was better to be misunderstood than to be punished… “Well, good job, then.” James smiled, and Dawn’s head quickly fell down. Complimenting her? For what, enduring all the unfair treatment? Call her a soldier, maybe a veteran once she finally made it back home from the war. “Yes, she did a very good job,” Katherine was just as warm and affectionate, and Dawn was trying to lean away from her hands now on her shoulders. “She ate all her lunch and we even got to look at a few books together!” “Yeah? Anything interesting?” Hardly, for all Dawn knew, considering she barely even got to read the first few pages of one. And that overly-complex book sorting system… “We were looking at some fantasy books, and actually,” Dawn suddenly slid forward on her bottom just so Katherine could stand. “Where did I leave her diaper bag…?” “Right here,” James grunted as he leaned back to grab the bag. “Bring something back?” That got Dawn’s attention. “Uh-huh…” Katherine hummed as she flipped the top open and rummaged through. “Ta-dah!” Dawn leaned out from the side and saw something familiar in the Amazon’s hands. It was the same book they were looking at right before lunch ended. They got it? She checked it out? “Huh…” James mumbled as he read the back and front before handing it back. “Is that gonna be okay?” “It should be fine,” Katherine said as she cradled the book with both arms. “I made sure it was appropriate.” “Wait, you ended up getting the book?” Dawn asked, now beside the woman’s leg. It was an honest and admittedly positive surprise. “Can I read it?” “Of course I got it!” Katherine chuckled, and Dawn shuffled awkwardly. “But remember, Dawn: we’re borrowing this from the library. That means we can’t keep it forever.” “I know what borrowing means, so can I just read it now?” Maybe if she finished it fast enough she could convince her to bring back another one tomorrow. Given how intellectually starved Dawn was feeling, she probably did have it in herself to finish it in one go. “We’ll read some later tonight before bedtime,” Katherine calmly assured the girl, but that was far from what she wanted, and even carried unfortunate implications. “Wait, what do you mean, ‘we’?” Dawn frowned. Katherine looked considerate, but again, there was that same feeling that she just wasn’t quite connecting with the girl. “These books can be big and heavy, sweetheart, and these aren’t like the books at the Little’s area; we need to be extra special careful with these. They’re not toys, okay?” “I never thought of them as toys! I just want to read! I know how to take care of stuff! I don’t need help holding a book! I’ll just set it on the floor!” “Nuh-uh, not with these,” Katherine shook her head. “That’s how they can get dirty and stepped on.” There was hardly a chance of that happening, unless the Amazons themselves decided to be careless. Then she glanced around for a moment, remembering that the four-legged member of the household was still being kept in confinement. Maybe not everyone could be trusted… “Then…fine, on the couch!” “Dawn,” James cut in, “would you rather no books at all?” “No! Ugh,” she groaned, “I’m just trying to say that–” “We’re going to do things responsibly or we’re not doing them at all,” James quite firmly doubled down. “Do you understand?” And with a bitter, horrible feeling in her stomach, Dawn finally croaked. “Fine.” “Dawn, sweetie? Where are you off to?” It was an observant and omniscient voice that had the flustered girl caught in her tracks, ready to disappear into the dark of the corridor. “I-I…I just wanted to see something…!” she grumbled back, trudging onwards while trying to squeeze her own legs together as much as she could. “Please play where James and I can see you!” Katherine called back, and given how things were, the fact she was giving Dawn the choice to walk back on her own rather than be retrieved was something in and of itself. So she slumped back to the living room where Katherine was petting Waver, and Dawn was looking for a place to relieve herself. “Did you wanna play with your blocks some more?” Katherine suggested with a smile. “Or I can put some cartoons on?” “I’m fine…” Dawn huffed, feeling no appeal for anything right then. Correction: there was no appeal for remotely anything this house had inside of it, but at least once upon a time her one and only toy could occupy her mind for five minutes at most. “Kay, girls, come and get it!” James called from the kitchen, and yet Waver was the first to bolt. “Ah-ah! Waver, no–!” Katherine did her best to tame the beast, but the sound of pebbles hitting the metal bowl in the kitchen was like a lightning rod in a storm. Dawn bore witness to a barreling train that hopped over Katherine’s lap, to the arm of the couch, and then soaring for the kitchen. He was just as well-received by James’ scolding once his paws scraped past the doorway and into the kitchen. It was a bitter feeling knowing that a dog could somehow get off easier than Dawn, but she could certainly fly higher since every Amazon just seemed to think she was a collectable at this point. Katherine unannounced swooped her into the air and brought up the rear. “Ready for some dinner?” “What are we having?” Dawn asked and tried to focus, continuing to squeeze her legs. “Yummy stir-fry,” Katherine bounced the girl lightly as they treated themselves to the aroma from the stove. “Mmm! Smells great, hon!” “Feel like you’d say that even if I only gave you a glass of water to drink,” James playfully rolled his eyes and Dawn watched him remove the apron around his neck. “There’s such thing as good and bad water, you know,” Katherine coyly joked as Dawn was deposited into her special seat that hung from the table. Her legs were fed on either side of the center strap, and soon enough she was secure. “Speaking of water, I’ll take that,” Katherine said as she sat right next to Dawn. “I’ll have water too–” Dawn also asked, but her jaw hung in silence as the timing couldn’t have been any more comedic or cruel. Her sippy cup came down on the table with the same old red hue hiding behind the plastic. “Can I please be asked for once what I want to drink?” “Sorry, was just in a rhythm,” James said, but it didn’t feel like much of an apology. After all, she was expected to drink it anyway. Katherine grabbed her cup and unscrewed the top, just the way she preferred it. “We’ll get you some water after. Sound good?” “Mhm…” Dawn dejectedly hummed, but continued to fidget, finally admitting to her needs. “I need to pee.” “Hm?” She was acknowledged, but not in the way she would have liked. Without being able to see, but certainly being able to feel, a hand went around her seat strap and firmly pressed against her lukewarm diaper. “Don’t worry, it’ll hold,” and before Dawn could make some kind of stink, Katherine’s head turned, “oh, thanks,” she accepted the warm, white porcelain plate of food. “Mmm! Looks so good!” “And here’s Dawn’s,” James with his last occupied hand gave Katherine a bright blue plastic bowl, not a plate, which then made the final shift in front of Dawn. The bottom was flat and rock-steady, as if to minimize the chance of tipping it over. “What do we say?” Katherine hummed, and Dawn curled her toes just so her face wasn’t what looked annoyed. “Thank you.” “Course, kiddo!” And just like the night prior, all three were sitting at the dinner table. If only Dawn could eat as fast as Waver, who was already slumped by the table to her left with a full belly. Dawn leaned in just to see Katherine’s plate. Noodles once yellow had gone for tinted orange and caramelized brown. Cuts of red and green vegetables were hiding in between with cubes and strips of meat, onions too. With it all bathing in a sauce, it did look good, and made a point that takeout wasn’t the only means of getting good food here. James really did look like he could cook… But then Dawn looked at her own bowl. If Katherine’s noodles could go on for miles, Dawn’s looked like they stopped somewhere in the realm of inches. They’d been deliberately cut and shortened to a bite-sized degree. Where the Amazons had slices and dices of whole vegetables, all Dawn got were slivers and smithereens of colored specks; tiny cubes that could only imitate the little brother of the main course that others were having around her. The colors were mostly the same, but it was undoubtedly a doctored dish, and that didn’t sit well with her. Staring at her food, Dawn spoke up just as the first fork that she did not have clinked with a plate. “Mine is different.” “Huh? What do you mean?” James asked, and Katherine looked over herself. “What’s wrong, honey? It’s all the same,” Katherine insisted. “No, it isn’t,” Dawn disagreed. “Why is mine in a bowl, but you both got plates?” “That’s because this can get messy,” the chef explained. “Messy just for me?” “Yes, because you’re not using a fork.” “So give me a fork?” In her hasty pursuit for equality, James caught her by the tongue and scolded, “When we want things, we ask nicely.” Before she could bite her tongue, she asked, “May I please have a fork?” “We’ll get you something you can use, but we don’t have it yet. I cut it up so you can use your hands,” James said right before he took a bite, using his fork, no less. Dawn stuttered, “Wh-but…but it’s covered in sauce? How am I not going to make a mess?” “That’s okay!” Katherine sang beside her, “we’re gonna get you in the tub after this, so if you get a little messy, that’ll be fine.” “Tub?” Yet again, the first she was hearing of her immediate and constantly changing life plans. But as much as she wanted to argue, at least on some level she knew she needed to get clean after all the things she’d done in…in things and in places. “But…I don’t want to use my hands!” “You could just use your mouth like Waver?” James grinned, and suddenly imitated a bark. “Woof! Woof!” “Ah-ah!” His wife stared sternly at him, sinking his act into just a sheepish smile. Dawn wasn’t finding it funny at the start or by the finish. “Dawn, I can feed you while I eat too, don’t worry.” “No, it’s fine…” Dawn sighed, yet again choosing the lesser of evils. Her hand hesitantly reached out for the bowl, feeling less like a person and more like a savage with every meal she had. All it was now was to be fed, or enjoy finger-foods or figure out how to turn a meal into one, and that’s what this was, only James did the figuring out for her. She made a face once her fingers brushed against the layer of sauce atop the noodles, and she cringed as she grabbed a handful, trying to be as dignified as she could, but at least Waver could eat without getting his paws dirty, so where did that put Dawn? The noodles weren’t even long enough to hang out of her hand. Nevertheless, food like this wasn’t meant to be eaten with hands, and that’s why it looked less and less appetizing by the second. It was starting to become some sort of gross muck…sludge? Junkyard stew? All brown and orange, covered in– She stuffed it in her mouth with speed, just as fast as a handful of hand soap could be smothered against her mouth. Everything about it was seasoned and refined. It had a good taste, but there were bitter and slightly spicy tones, like it was a touch burnt on the perfection it was meant to achieve. “Is it yummy?” Katherine asked as Dawn swallowed. Her left hand felt unusable now that it was coated in sauce. She looked for a napkin, but it was yet another thing she hadn’t been given. “It’s…” Dawn coughed, “good…” “You didn’t use any spice with hers, did you?” Katherine was already accusing James, and he briefly surrendered his hands. “I promise! Separate batch, just for her! I had to use some of the powder though for a similar taste, just less of it.” “It’s not too spicy, right?” Katherine cooed while she rubbed the girl’s back. Dawn could feel the light tingles and pricks along her tongue. It didn’t hit nearly as bad as the pizza did, but it was a level of spice that she still did not like. And yet up until that point it did taste good, but now she could hardly taste anything. “It’s…fine…” Dawn lightly coughed and breathed. “Here, drink some sippy,” Katherine brought the cup to her mouth and she sipped from the lid, swallowing a heaping helping of juice all while someone else held it for her. “All better?” “I said I’m fine…” Dawn wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, still holding up the left like it was contagious. “Sorry, Dawn,” James looked apologetic, “Let me know if that’s too much and I’ll put something else together for you, okay?” And to answer his offer, Dawn swiped another handful of food and stuffed it in her mouth, mumbling through her mouthful, “I said it’s fine…” Suddenly she squinted from a wet thumb rubbing the corner of her mouth. “Messy is okay, but let’s not get too dirty,” Katherine laughed as she cleaned her mouth, and James chuckled himself. Meanwhile, Dawn furiously tried to keep her knees together, holding back emotionally and physically. “Can I get out of the chair, now?” Dawn asked yet again as her impatience was mounting. James and Katherine were gone from the table, leaving the Little with an empty tabletop and her pleas supposedly being drowned out by the sound of a running kitchen faucet. “Don’t worry, Katherine’s gonna get you out in a second,” James strolled behind her, swiping the sippy cup still a quarter full of water along the way. “Did you like dinner?” “It was fine…” Dawn said again, choosing to leave her review just slightly north of neutral. If cooking shows taught her anything, how the food tasted itself was but a single factor of many that constituted a “good” dish. It was not only that, but the quality of service and establishment that went into it. And given she was refused silverware, served a biased meal, and not even provided a napkin, maybe the real-feel of her scores were actually headed south. “I’m sure I’ll get something you like going soon,” James chuckled like it was a challenge, one of which Dawn did not want to partake in. She didn’t want anything preferential; not somewhere like this. “Okay!” Katherine announced her return, though Dawn couldn’t see. “Bath time!” “Bath time?” James played the game and egged her on. “Nuh-uh, not for you~” She teased right back, finally roping Dawn into their marital banter. “For this little chick-a-dee right here!” Her two fingers found their way underneath Dawn’s chin, lifting her unwilling head up and looking up at the Amazon. “One, two, three spots I can see right here!” she giggled as she pointed out each and every spot and splotch on the girl’s face. Was this teasing? Teasing her over something she wasn’t allowed to refuse? “It’s not like you gave me a choice,” Dawn grumbled and shot her head right back down. “Don’t worry, we’re gonna go clean you up right now. The tub’s filling up right as we speak! Annnd whoosh!” Up she went like a rising star, but just as fittingly she missed the moon and was forced to drift. Riding against Katherine’s hip she held the girl as they made for the living room and then the stairs. “Ope– let’s say goodnight to James right now, okay?” “What? Why?” “Because after your bath it’s gonna be close to bedtime.” “But…!” She wanted to argue the time, but she hadn’t laid her eyes on a set of numbers since getting to this place. “It’s not even late!” “It’s gonna be late,” Katherine corrected, looking like she bested the girl. “You’ve had such a busy day! I bet once we get you dried off and in your PJs you’re gonna feel a whole lot more tired than you are right now.” “No I won’t, because I don’t go to sleep this early!” “Goodnight, Dawn!” James waved from the sink with a soapy hand. “No! Not goodnight, because I’m not going to sleep yet!” Dawn barked back, and all James did was shake his head after looking back down at the sink. “Oh, actually, hon? Did you figure out what you wanted to watch tonight?” “Mmm…not yet,” Katherine shrugged, “but I’ll pick later. But okie-dokie, let’s go before the tub overflows!” “Wait, what? Watching what?” Dawn looked at Katherine, then at James, but they were already moving, so that just left her escort. “Watching what?” she asked again. “Nothing,” Katherine smiled, “just something for us later tonight.” Something after Dawn went to bed. Without her? Fuck, it wasn’t even about being without her! It was the fact that life went on without her. She was being forced to her prison while the wardens got free reign of the palace. She could hear the faintest sounds from downstairs, just as vibrant and lively while she against her will was committed to confinement. “I don’t go to bed this early!” Dawn insisted and fumed, “Just let me go to bed when you two do! Come on, this isn’t fair!” “You’re not going to bed yet, though?” Katherine frowned. “Sweetheart, grown-ups don’t need naps, and it’s easier for us to stay up later,” she calmly explained while they climbed the stairs. “I don’t nap either!” Dawn finally whined. “You just think I do! But I don’t! Let me prove it, at least!” “But you’ve already been napping for two days now?” Katherine countered, and Dawn went ballistic. “Because YOU made me! I didn’t get a choice! You can’t just use that against me…!” “Ahh, hear that?” Katherine tried to change the tune, “I think that’s the tub getting full!” “And stop changing the subject…!” They reached the end of the dark hallway and re-entered the warm light coming from the bathroom ceiling. It was another giant room with all its giant faculties. The shower and tub were separate and the toilet was sitting right between them. The tub lined with an indent in the wall, right next to a door that must have been their closet. A giant mirror spanned the counter opposite to that, right next to the shower, sitting over the counter and sink too high for Dawn to see over on her own. The atmosphere was warm and humid, precisely because the faucet from the corner was gushing steamy water, and a calming buzz-hum from either a heater or fan in the ceiling. “Oops, definitely too much…” and with Dawn still against her, Katherine dropped to her knees, reaching over and turning a flat metal dial. Then an invisible beast made a murky, bubbly groan as the insides of the nearby wall swarbled and gargled the draining water. Down and down, right up until… “Perfect!” Katherine decided, stopping the flow. Dawn was dropped the short distance to her feet, landing on the plush bathroom carpet. Her first instinct was to look at the exit and consider running, but even on her knees Katherine’s feet were on their toes, raising her calves and heels that made for obstacles Dawn would need to hop over if she wanted to break free. “Arms up!” Katherine cheered, and even though Dawn didn’t listen, it didn’t stop the shirt from coming off anyway. The Little expected her bra to go next, but remembered the cruel reality she was given from the sight of her already naked breasts. She covered her chest, but was too slow to remember that there was still more to lose. Katherine grabbed her pants and tugged them off, sending Dawn back on her bottom as all that remained were her socks and diaper. “Did you go pee-pee yet?” Katherine asked, but it very well could have been talking to herself. She stole the socks next, and before Dawn could even decide how she wanted to answer, an invasive finger proved between her diapered front and inner thigh. “Mm…doesn’t feel different. Let’s give it a few minutes.” She managed not to pee herself the entirety of dinner, somehow, but she was certainly at her limit. But what better place could she have been in? “Katherine?” Dawn spoke up as she rose to her feet, stumbling over to the giant toilet. “I can use the toilet! I still need to pee! Please? Please just let me go?” “Mm? Dawn, honey, it’s okay to use your diaper. Look, I’m gonna get your towel and PJs, so I’ll be right back.” In other words, make use of the five seconds of privacy that I’m giving you. Assuming she even meant it like that. Today at the toy store did show that Katherine was cognizant of privacy, but only as far as strangers. Clearly she didn’t consider herself separate from Dawn’s business. And naked from head to toe, save from her diaper already suffering from slight discoloration, Dawn sadly watched the toilet, standing taller and bigger than her, at a size that without a stool or any kind of help she’d have a seriously hard time using. And she looked down at herself, seeing where the padding just started to protrude beyond the plastic landing strip of puppies playing on her personal potty-pad. Something she couldn’t even take off by herself. With a thousand yard stare she watched the toilet, then looked beyond it, now not even able to hide her greatest shame from what she longed for the most. Had the toilet been animate she would have fallen to her knees in tears, pouring out for her imaginary second-boyfriend that this was all some unfortunate misunderstanding. That she was still committed to their relationship and that this wasn’t some horrible relapse. She wasn’t cheating, just…taking a break. A break that hopefully wouldn’t be long. Not a single drop of pee went anywhere but where the Amazons wanted it to, and suddenly Dawn’s diaper had become thicker, heavier, and warmer. With only an ounce of will left to give the toilet any recognition, trapped in her own diaper, salvation felt so frustratingly close, but of course impossibly far away. “Brrr! It feels so chilly in the hallway now!” Katherine giggled as she came back in. With a small bundle of cloth in her arms she gently knocked the door shut with her hip and it closed with a click. Everything she had went on the top of the toilet seat, because what else was it now to Dawn than just a place to park her bottom, assuming she’d even be allowed on it. And as Dawn soaked in a new low, Katherine took the time to feel her soaked diaper once more. “Good job!” the woman praised, and Dawn cringed. The tapes were like magic. Dawn remembered pulling as hard as she could, panting and straining her muscles without it budging in the slightest. They must have had fingerprint recognition from how seamless Katherine made it look and sound. Each tape was pulled with a flick and Dawn could barely feel the resistance pulling her forward. One. Two. Three. Four. Each one undone was an added sense of weight as the security on her hips finally fell through and her diaper dropped with a slump on the carpet. Not another word was spoken on the matter of diapers, at least for now. Katherine rolled up her sleeve, skimming her hand through the bathwater. “That should be good, but let me know if it’s too hot,” and she lifted Dawn up and over. The girl slammed her knees shut and tried to lift her legs– anything to give herself some modesty. The moment her toe touched the water it recoiled from the initial heat, but quickly hot became warm, and the discomfort was just from being apart from hot water for so long. It really had been a while since she bathed… The water only reached somewhere more than half way, but it was more than enough for the girl’s size. “Nice and warm?” Katherine smiled. “It feels fine… Where’s the soap?” Dawn asked, turning in place on her feet. The sooner she finished, the more time she had to try and negotiate a plea deal from later tonight. “Don’t worry, I got it, but thank you for asking!” she sang as she stood on her feet, opening up the closet door that was out of view. “What are you getting in there?” Dawn tried to do the impossible by leaning out to see, but her cheek was already pressing against the tub before she could even get close to seeing around the corner. “Something to keep the soap out of your pretty eyes,” and as she said it, a contraption descended onto Dawn’s head. It was a saucer or donut that went over. Suddenly she was shaded from the light, all except for her scalp. “What…? What did you put on me?” Dawn grumbled and grabbed at the edges of the device, but Katherine was tutting all over again like she did whenever she disapproved. “Ah-ah! No touching. You’re gonna get something in your eye and then it’s gonna sting reeeal bad,” she warned. And then the waistband of her head-frisbee was stretched as Katherine’s hand brushed against Dawn’s head, collecting tufts of hair , lifting then resting atop the silicone paradise above. Was she wearing a visor? Soon after enough adjusting from Katherine’s end Dawn had no more bangs and was just all forehead, and while she turned every which way just to see what she was wearing, it wasn’t to much avail. “Keep that head still…!” Katherine laughed like it was a game, but Dawn wasn’t having nearly as much fun. She couldn’t touch it, couldn’t see it, all because she was being told not to. Would James hit her again if she disobeyed over something like this…? Then she watched Katherine drag a cup through the water, and suddenly a trickle was pouring on the girl’s head. It made her tingle and wiggle, starting from a sensitive place on her scalp that sent vibrations throughout the body. The warmth was spreading all over her head, but she soon started to hear the dripping from the flaps covering the back of her ears and soon watched the rain pour from the visor in front of her. She sat there quietly and listened, then watched. She stared long and hard at the thing just above her vision and coming out from her forehead, finally noticing how yellow it was…and possibly a…design? “Wait– am I wearing one of those stupid things for kids?!” Dawn splashed the water as she stood, and Katherine yelped. Dawn turned her head and so did the visor too. The Amazon was looking down at her chest, now clinging to her skin from where all the tiny streams of water were flung on it. “I knew I should’ve worn a different shirt…” Katherine mumbled to herself, but shifted her focus. “Sweetie, let’s not splash so much, okay?” “Why am I wearing a stupid kid visor?!” Dawn demanded answers, but her shoulders were grabbed and hands dropped on them like gravity times two, putting her back on her bottom. “It’s so you don’t get soap in your eyes, sweetheart,” Katherine said as she scooped another pour of water. “I won’t get soap in them if you just let me clean myself!” “Some spots can be hard to clean, though? I’d really like to help?” “I don’t need your help! Just give me the soap and shampoo; I’ll do it myself!” “Sweetheart, there’s not gonna be any time to read after your bath if you don’t behave…” The woman warned, and it was another knot in Dawn’s stomach after having every little safe haven or benefit used against her. “It’s not going to take long! Just let me prove myself for once. Please!” It wasn’t even as if Katherine sounded mad, or even all that annoyed. She just sighed, like she knew how the story would end and where things would go, and understanding that impression completely made Dawn even more upset. “You’re sure you wanna do it?” “Yes!” God, was she finally going to listen? “...Okay, you can try.” Katherine ever so graciously allowed Dawn to do the thing she’d been doing for herself for almost the entirety of her life. Her hair was like an inverted turnip once the visor came off. The water made it thick and heavy, but the cage around it sculpted it into a momentary bundle that was quickly falling apart. But like a badge of shame, what didn’t go far was the visor. Katherine set it on the edge of the tub, still peeking over, and Dawn could now see that the thing sticking in front of her had been painted as the bill of a duck, right beneath to black and sparkly eyes. Cute for kids, but humiliating for Dawn. “Hold out your hands, please,” Katherine requested, and Dawn complied. She held out a bottle and pumped a light purple substance into her hands. It was fragrant and sweet-smelling, honestly, but her mangled sense of trust could somehow misconstrue anything at this point to be cruel and unforgiving. But most importantly, instead of something at least viscous and closer to gel, this stuff was far more runny and thin, almost like water… “Now you need to spread that around in your hair extra good, okay?” “I know how to wash my hair…” Dawn turned to her side and started lathering, but now with a critic most likely expecting her to fail, she felt the need to be fast and efficient. “Be careful not to get it in your eyes…” Katherine warned again, and Dawn ignored her. I know how to use shampoo… Dawn rolled her eyes, but found that with the amount she was using it was similar to having too much hand sanitizer in one go. In other words, the moment she lathered her hands, excess amounts ended up on the floor. So while she ran her hands through her hair, drops of water went down the sides of her head, and finally the front of her face. But she ignored it and continued, merely blinking it off, but then feeling the need to blink again. Again until she could feel it stinging, and suddenly her eyes slammed shut. “Ah-ow…!” she grumbled and started to rub, but the chance for prevention was gone and all she could do was grow more and more uncomfortable by the second as the stinging continued to permeate. It was actually starting to hurt… But it wasn’t her fault! That stupid shampoo was so runny…! Was it dilated? Did Katherine get scammed? Scam or no scam, it didn’t change the fact that her face was scrunched and she was stumbling in the tub, feeling on the verge of tears. Did someone pepper spray her when she wasn’t looking?! “I know, I know…it stings, doesn’t it?” Katherine was nowhere to be seen (given that Dawn’s eyes were closed), but she was certainly heard. “Can you move your hands for me? Please? I’m gonna make it all better…” And between Katherine’s requests and finally just forcing Dawn’s hands aside, a wet washcloth went against her face, rubbing up and down and gently massaging into her eyes. A hand on her shoulder kept her in place, and she tried not to sniffle as the unbearable pain went away. “Can you try opening your eyes?” She hesitated like it was a trick, or that the shampoo would come back as soon as she opened them. “I-I can still feel it on my forehead…!” Dawn complained, already lashing out. “It’s just water, honey,” Katherine said, but Dawn still felt the cloth wipe above her eyes. Finally she did open back up, only now with a raw feeling around her peepers now that she could see again. She blinked and sniffled just a few more times, but ultimately kept her head tilted back, lest there be more shampoo she still had to wash out. But in spite of the pain and the mistake, it didn’t make her any less upset seeing the baby duck visor coming right back on. “No…” Katherine warned as Dawn started to step away, but she froze. “We let you try, but now I’m gonna do it, okay? I promise that won’t happen again.” A promise that was likely to keep Dawn out of her own way. And Katherine, the devil she was, kept on saying things like they were questions, or kept on “asking” for consent, but doing them anyway whether Dawn disagreed or otherwise. “Wh-what…what do you guys even put in your shampoo? Why is it so runny? Why does that stuff sting…?!” she complained and complained, and they were all fair grievances. Everything Amazons had was so…deceptively difficult…! “Sweetheart, it’s just normal shampoo, but that’s why we need to be careful with that stuff, okay? I’m gonna be extra gentle, so you just relax. But I’m really proud of you for trying!” And that left Dawn in a bitter mood for the rest of the bath. She felt cheated. Had she known how slippery and stupid that stuff was, she could have made a far better impression. One that didn’t beget a sympathetic consolation or pat on the back. So she wore her crown of shame, admittedly anxious now that somehow Katherine would slip up. A whole new batch of liquid death drizzled on her head; probably because the Amazon didn’t even think Dawn’s handiwork was fit to pick up on. She ran it through her hair, slowly and carefully, massaging her scalp in a way that made her head bob and body rock ever so slightly to and fro. Her eyes felt less sensitive and the pain was leaving. Just rhythmic massages for her head and the monotone hum from the bathroom fan. It was sort of hypnotic. Soothing. Katherine didn’t try to talk to her, and Dawn didn’t talk back. Coexisting in somewhat silence. What’s more though was when there was a disturbance from Katherine’s mouth. A melodic hum that was far from a song, but enough repetition to become one with the white noise. The heat, the warm water, her hair being washed…the hum, the rocking, the drifting, the sitting, bending forward…and… “Just a little more to go…” a distant voice said with a chuckle, but it could have been a whisper. It didn’t sting anymore, but Dawn’s eyes were heavy, and suddenly they were flickering like lights, going from opened to closed. Back and forth. Back and forth. Despite her protests, the defiant Little didn’t even make it to the end of her bath. She was dreaming before she even realized it, engrossed in some kind of unintelligible blurb of noises and feelings, but it made enough sense to her sleeping conscience, so she didn’t think a thing of it, not even realizing she was sleeping. The rest of her was cleaned, dried off, diapered, dressed, and finally whisked off to her room, all while she slept away the day’s exhaustion that took a toll on her far more than she ever could have realized. All until she finally opened her eyes with a start, lurching forward. She half expected the splash of water, but it was different. The warm air was gone and the room felt cool. It was dark, save for some moonlight and a crack in the door. Her body was warm and the mattress was cool; a kind of juxtaposition that was pure ecstasy after any long or exhausting day. She even stretched, feeling the gathers of her sleeper at the wrists and ankles stretching with her, and finally hearing the crinkle of a new diaper she never remembered getting put into. Her hand reached out and collided with one of the many bars of her crib, dazed and confused about the details, but aware enough to understand the comfort and her horrid blunder. Not only would there be no reading that night, but no staying up either. Not unless she wanted to sit up in bed the whole night again. She looked down at the fuzzy clothes she was in, brandishing a bumble bee embroidery on her breast. She wiggled her toes, pressing them into the soft mattress, completely and utterly defeated. And the worse part? Faintly, if she leaned her ears against the bars and towards the crack in the door, there was the sound of something. Some show or some movie, but far too distant to sound like anything distinct. But in that moment, she could understand on some level what she was listening to. The jealousy of missing out. “...Shit…” “I’m sorry we didn’t get to read last night,” Katherine apologized, but it didn’t seem like she really minded. “You went out like a light!” “I wasn’t…tired… I just get that way when it’s hot,” Dawn poorly excused herself. “Wait, stop. I can put that on.” “I know you can,” Katherine agreed, but it didn’t stop her from taking the lead. A bundle of shirt was stuffed over Dawn’s head then stretched and smoothened out. “Still dry?” Katherine frowned when she felt the front of her diaper, and Dawn took a step back as she blushed. “Because I don’t need diapers,” she said for the umpteenth time, and Katherine only sighed. “Wanna wear your pants today or something else?” Dawn gave her a weird look. What else was going to cover the diaper? “Pants?” she said it aloud just as skeptically. And a different colored pair went on. Today’s were a faded yellow, which was reminding her of things that made her stomach turn, particularly to do with bathroom habits. “Okay, grab my shoulders and step in,” Katherine beckoned as she slouched over and held open a shoe for her. “I can put on shoes…” Dawn groaned yet again, but stepped in anyway, knowing just as much how little the Amazon would bend. “I can tie them, too.” Certainly not the same way Katherine could, though. She tried to watch her handiwork with the knot again, but it was like she was some kind of master at sleight of hand. Her movements didn’t make sense, and by the time Dawn was done giving up on how to decipher the first step, her foot was already entombed. “Okay…” Katherine made a cursory glance around the room, then settled her eyes on Dawn and lifted her up in the air. “So, are we gonna be good for James today?” “Yeah, maybe if he behaves,” she scoffed, and Katherine hummed her disapproval. “Today’s about you, honey. I wanna hear only good things when I get back today, understood?” More threats over being reported to the secret police. Be good for X and behave this way for Y. Was there anyone she could just be herself around? Everyone was a witness and a snitch, and the constant enforcement of unrealistic standards was making her go insane…! “Dawn?” the girl blinked and Katherine was tilting her head, waiting for an answer. “Fine,” she groaned, then turned her head. They kept walking down the stairs. “And remember, it’s ‘Daddy’ today.” Please don’t fucking remind me. “Okay! She’s all set!” Katherine announced the moment they reached the end of the hall downstairs. The same office Dawn had been creeping into that one night was now bright and full of life. Waver was laying in the corner in his second dog bed, because apparently he was just that pampered, and James was at his desk with three different screens of all different sizes. A notebook filled with scribbles of pen as far as Dawn could tell were all over the pages and his hand was on some weird kind of mouse. “Oh yeah, is she now?” James got up from his seat, smothering Dawn as he kissed his wife. Suddenly she was a rock stuck between a hard and soft place. James was all muscle and Katherine was all…love. Either way, they both had big breasts. “Is it okay if she plays in here?” “I don’t play,” Dawn tried to interrupt, but failed. “Yeah, that’s fine. We’re gonna take off in a few minutes anyways. Think we already lost against the traffic,” James shrugged. “Don’t remind me…” she sighed, setting Dawn down, then clasped her hands. “Okay, I left her diaper bag by the door and packed it with everything you might need. She has her juice, a snack if she gets hungry, some of her blocks, a change of clothes, diapers…wait– I should probably put another pair of socks in there…” “Kat, Kat!” James called, and Dawn felt the vibration in the floor as the herculean giant leaped one step forward for his wife. “It’s fine!” he laughed. “Just a doctor’s appointment?” “And you’re gonna text me once you get there, right? Let me know how it goes?” “I will, I will,” he nodded again, and Dawn fought the urge to keep on being openly pissy. “...Alright…” Katherine gave in, but she sounded just as uneasy, as if the slightest breeze might change her mood entirely. “And don’t forget to ask them about those things we talked about, please?” “Hon, I’m like a steel trap; I won’t forget,” and he kissed her again. “You should get going now or you’re gonna be late?” “I know…” the woman moped again, and unlike Dawn, there wasn’t anyone who could carry the Amazon and make her do what she didn’t want to. How envious. “Dawn…?” She turned her head and Katherine was low to the floor in a squatting position, holding her hands on her knees. “Could I have a goodbye hug?” What, was she actually going to miss her? The sense of attachment and affection was so one-sided that their reactions couldn’t have felt more opposite of one another. Maybe hoping that the silence and inaction would speak for itself, Dawn didn’t move, other than shifting her pupils from side to side. Is somebody gonna get this wackjob out of here? But standing behind Katherine was her significant other, one who was giving her a far less innocent and much more expectant look. She choked down a distasteful sigh and shifted her eyes the other way once she took a hesitant step forward, and that’s all Katherine needed to practically fall forward like a gluttonous leviathan with her talons wrapped around her prey. “Oooou! I’m gonna miss you so much!” Katherine squealed like her batteries were charged and her hopes were as full and vibrant as they’d always been. Dawn hardly even moved her arms, but she felt the death-squeeze from the woman that finally released her. “Have a great day!” James called, and after petting Waver Katherine finally left, ending with the distant shut of the door. “There’s no need to feel so distant, you know,” James said as he hung over his keyboard without sitting back down. “Distant?” Dawn gave his back a sideways look. “You mean be all affectionate with people I’ve known for like three days?” “We’re not strangers, Dawn. I know Katherine’s said it, but I guess I should make it clear too. This is your home. Even if you like to throw tantrums, we still want to take care of you.” “Then start by realizing that I do not throw tantrums,” Dawn spat and crossed her arms. “Everything I’ve said has been fair and valid arguments, but no one ever actually listens! Ugh, forget it. This isn’t worth getting into…” she paced around, then stopped. “And wait, what stuff does Katherine want you to talk about? What did she say?” “Huh? Oh, just some stuff with the doctor.” “Yeah,” Dawn stressed and rolled her eyes. “What stuff?” And James, the increasingly cheeky bastard, had the gaul to grin at her once the computer screens went black and he turned around. “Wanna know that badly?” “Yes, I do, because it’s my business! It’s obviously about me!” Dawn fumed. “Just tell me! I’m gonna hear it anyway once we go, right? So just tell me now!” “I could,” James nodded sagely, but his head stopped, “but, I feel like you wouldn’t be so chatty if you ran out of reasons to talk with me?” She blinked as she scrunched up her nose. “I hate you.” “Hate me?” James said in a taken aback voice. “Yeah, I do. You’ve been nothing but mean to me; pushing me around, telling me what I can and can’t do, hitting me, and then this: talking to me like I’m some sort of friend! You act like you didn’t just get finished beating me then pretend like we’re cool, or something! You think I just forgot something like that? So yeah, James, I hate you. What, you build a bed with bars in a room you’re lending to me? Gee, thanks. I already said I was going to behave for Katherine, but don’t act like that changes how I feel…!” She was breathing over the silence that ensued, and while Dawn stood in a way far more primed for a fight, James looked far more neutral as he stood in place. But the moment he took a step forward it was the fire that lit the fuse for the regret in Dawn’s words. She stumbled back, shying away headlong into fleeing rather than fighting. She talked a big game, but that was it when it came to Amazons, and she’d have it no other way. But she stumbled and fell, scrambling back up on her feet just to backpedal some more. All of this and James never went past the first step. He watched the entire performance and seemed sort of speechless, then finally pulled back. But finally, James said, “We’re…gonna head out in a few minutes, okay?” He had barely moved and only said that? Dawn’s little spurts of adrenaline were already dying as it gave way to confusion, like she was missing something, or was just surprised by the fact that things didn’t go the way she expected. So with no other real sensible thing to do, Dawn slowly dropped her hands and quietly exhaled. “...Yeah.”

Thank you very much for reading, and I really appreciate the kind words! Apologies for the delay on this response! I've been a bit quiet on this site lately due to IRL things! As for specific timelines, unfortunately I'm no good for that in this story. It reaches multiple points where the whole point is that some amount of time goes by, so it could be in the realm of a couple/few weeks to maybe a month or so. This is assuming I did not seemingly indicate a much larger jump than that... Thank you very much! 48 - Being Brave “So…” Amy slowly set down her needle and thread, and Emily on her toes as she reached for a bin tried to look extra busy right then. “You…dripping wet, butt naked, started running all over the apartment?” “Y-you…you had to be there…” Emily grunted especially hard just to hide the stutters. “Be careful, by the way; I wasn’t kidding when Joyce said I had to stick to some rules,” Amy said again with her watchful eyes still on Emily. “I won’t climb on anything, I promise,” Emily assured right back and dropped back to the flats of her feet. “And yeah, Joyce went running after me, but I was faster,” it felt really good to say that. Finally getting a one-up on Joyce! Well, sort of. Joyce had longer legs and bigger strides, but Emily used the house like a playground. Just because mama bear could sprint didn’t mean she could swing from vines… “But then I slipped and hurt my nose…” Emily reminisced a lot less fondly. “...There’s a saying, you know,” Amy raised her eyebrow, maybe thinking twice about the things she was letting her assistant handle, “about playing silly games and getting silly prizes?” “And now I’m not allowed out of the bathroom until I’m completely dry…” she dodged the criticism and finished her grand tale. “But get this: Joyce doesn’t have to be dry! She can walk out whenever she wants!” “Sounds like you’d run?” “Not anymore! I don’t wanna break my nose!” “You won’t if you just dry off in the bathroom. And maybe run in the house a little less…” Still choosing either to ignore or just not see the problem, Emily sighed. “Joyce is such a hypocrite at times…” “You know, I said I’d listen and all, and I will, but I’m almost starting to think that Joyce is as overbearing as she is for good reason…” And as Ashes strolled by, the seamstress brushed her hand across his back. “No, she’s not!” Emily claimed, and Amy hung a hand on her face just to hide her oncoming smirk. “Like, some rules make sense, but other ones are just ridiculous! Like…! Oh! Yeah! So whenever she wants, she just decides what time we’re going to bed!” “Both of you?” Amy would have guessed Emily being sent ahead first… “Yes! And whenever I try to argue or debate it, she always somehow throws it back at me and uses that as a reason just to build up her point.” Joyce was rubber and Emily was glue… “Well, she’s…” Amy sighed as she smiled, never quite realizing just what kind of reasoning she’d be getting herself into, “...crafty?” “Yes!” Emily nearly jumped as she worked. “Don’t you see what I mean? It’s so unfair! She makes up all the rules whenever she wants, and I just have to listen! I think it’s only fair if I get to make some rules too…” In all fairness, Emily did make rules, only when they were having adult discussions, though. Given that this was somewhere…in-between, her credibility and authority were beneath the threshold. “I think if you’re wanting rules just for the sake of having them, that kinda defeats the purpose, Em,” Amy chuckled. “Oh, can you hand me that swatch right there?” Like a gopher, Emily spotted the destination with her eyes, grabbing a small stack of squares off a nearby table and handing it over to her boss. “Is this what you needed me to try on?” Emily couldn’t help but look on from the side. It did look like a pretty dress… “Mhm,” Amy answered quietly, leaning out and in from her chair, holding the sample under a light and away from it across the outfit. “Just playing with some options right now, though. But– oh, where were we? Right. How does the saying go? Made your bed, so sleep in it?” “Joyce doesn’t let me make the bed,” and Emily certainly rolled her eyes at that. “W-well, sometimes she does. When it’s my chore for the day...” “Oh that’s good; keeping busy around the house?” Amy played sort of dumb. She knew about the chores since that one time she spoke with Joyce. Though, she wasn’t looking to divulge any details about that. She only made clothes, but surely that still fell under client confidentiality? “Yeah, but–” she paused for the sound of the sewing machine. “It’s okay, I can still hear you!” Amy encouraged. “But it’s just little stuff. Nothing major. And it’s weekdays only. Otherwise Joyce wants to do it.” “Gosh, the battery that woman must have…” Amy shook her head hopelessly. “Guess we’re all built pretty differently.” “Mm…” Emily nodded, going quiet and contemplative. Her work for the day has mainly just been waking up, eating breakfast, doing a chore, browsing the computer a little, and waiting for Joyce. It wasn’t as boring as before, now with just a tiny bit more structure, but it was far from filling up her entire day. Searching for work was harder now, too. She was as earnest as she started, truly, but now due to certain parental locks it was just another hurdle trying to get in… If she wanted to use the computer when Joyce wasn’t home, somehow she could “request” for permission, whatever that meant. It probably sent something to Joyce’s phone, but she didn’t like bothering Joyce during work, as much as she loved to bother her now in general. “Enough about Joyce, though; let’s go back to us,” and she killed the machine and held up her handicraft. “Think you can try something on for me?” “Yeah, of course,” and Emily was about to take it, but Amy playfully tugged it back. “Sorry, this one has a zipper on the back. Might be easier if we do it as a team,” Amy smiled, and Emily nodded. It was one of those once in a blue moon situations where she could actually go down to just her underwear without totally blushing. “Want some help stripping?” “No thanks, I’m uh, fine. So should I go…?” Emily looked around, like there was a dedicated changing room. “Oh, no, it’s fine to do it right here,” Amy nonchalantly waved. “Let me go lock the front door though, actually…” Maybe it was weird to admit, and maybe it was definitely weird to be feeling, but Emily couldn’t help but have a sense of unease as she lifted her shirt. Almost like…she was doing something wrong? Only because Amy was here. Another body, another person that was watching her or at least being near her while she got naked. Guilt? Was that what she was feeling? The intent was honest and pure, but that wasn’t enough to affect the strangeness. If Joyce saw me like this…would she get jealous? Infidelity? Was it cheating if her seamstress saw her undressing? “Emily? Everything okay?” “H-huh?” Emily perked up with her rolled shirt halfway down and off her arms, bringing out the red spots on her cheeks. “Y-yeah, I…nevermind.” Amy made it clear she was fine with the personal stuff, but Emily still wasn’t cool sharing her stupid. Stupid Joyce and her stupid jealousy… Apparently other things were starting to rub off on the girl. “By the way, uhm…Amy, do you have any family, or anything?” “Hmm?” Amy’s interest had been piqued. “What makes you ask that?” “Just…cause you’re a person that makes clothes, and all…” and with still a small bit of trained and learned hesitation, Emily undid the button on her jeans. “I was wondering if you make stuff for your family, or anything.” “Ugh, believe me, Emily,” Amy sounded with playful disgust, “the less my family knows about what I do, the better.” “They don’t know?” “They do…but I don’t go around reminding anyone, you know? Here– let me take those, I’ll fold them…” She moved Emily’s clothes in a neat pile to the couch. “Great family, and I love them, but with so many of them, just doing one favor for every person would ab-so-lutely destroy my schedule!” “Do they ask for big stuff?” She scoffed and Emily nearly flinched. Apparently they’d hit a passionate tangent. “Big, small, medium; all of it! And difficult stuff, mind you! I’ve had cousins before that want me to essentially build a whole new outfit over an existing one! I couldn’t even save the fabric!” Emily listened as she stepped into the dress on the floor. “Put it like this:” Amy started, but stopped so she could pan them over to a mirror, “when a mechanic finishes up work for the day, the last thing they wanna do when they go home is work on another car. Make sense?” “Yeah it does… What…what you do for me and Joyce…that’s not off-work stuff, is it?” “Nope, that is very much my work,” Amy haughtily chuckled as she lifted the outfit up Emily’s legs. “You, my munchkin, have given me a whole new branch of things to play with, and I cannot be excited enough for it! Do me a favor: if Joyce ever thinks about dropping me, try and warn her discreetly that I’m gonna throw a tantrum, ‘kay?” “Uhm…yeah…I will…” Emily hesitantly agreed, and while she felt conflicted about a line being crossed, she didn’t notice Amy’s smile. “Joking! Just jokes,” she laughed, and Emily swallowed another bitter gullibility pill. “But no, Joyce and I kinda have a special deal going because I’m kinda into it, too. She’s got me on retainer, so I get paid to play around with ideas and Joyce can request something specific if she wants.” “Has she done that before?” More backdoor dealings without Emily knowing? Or if Amy told her, was it not that secret after all? “What, requested something?” Emily nodded. Some of Amy’s gears were turning, as the question was processed the dress fitting had stopped. But she spoke and said, “Uh…can’t say,” then zipping her lip and tossing the key. “Confidentiality, and all.” “Can you really not say anything about Joyce at all?” Emily finally started to give the woman a sideways look in the mirror. “I’m telling you a lot…” Seriously, shouldn’t they be trading secrets here? “I won’t tattle about your detective work, but I’m not gonna get in the crossfire,” Amy held up her hands, ready for arrest. “Intentionally, at least,” then she went back to tugging the dress in places. “Does it feel comfy?” “Uhm…kind of, I guess?” Emily tried not to turn, but she did try to get a fettling of the fabric. “It’s a little loose though…” “That’s fine. Like I said, you’re similar to another client, but not exact. They’re a bit bigger than you.” And Emily stood there and watched herself a bit longer while Amy muttered and took notes. “You’re kinda different when you’re serious…” Emily thought out loud. “Yeah?” Amy giggled, “am I?” “I– All I mean is that when you’re taking notes and stuff…” “I gotta be if I’m gonna make nice things…” she murmured as from a lower pedestal step she lifted a piece of the dress’ hem. “You don’t even wanna know how much research I’ve done for you, kiddo.” “You do research too?” “The ideas don’t come completely from trees!” Amy laughed, and Emily felt embarrassed for not realizing the obvious. “That’s usually how I start new projects. Hear from the client what they want, gather and study some references, sketch it out, then make it! Sometimes though, I might just strike lightning and go straight to the sketching part.” “W-well…” Emily went meek as her hands fumbled with themselves. “What…stuff did you research for me?” Was Amy getting into the kink side of things, too? Did she have to dive in the deep end like that because of her and Joyce? For what Emily knew her to do, pushing this woman off the deep end like that didn’t seem fair for what normal stuff she is likely used to… “Oh, kid’s fashion!” Amy said it simply and cheerily, and Emily almost fell over. “What?” she held her model up by the shoulder, “not what you expected?” “Not really…” Emily mumbled, not keen to mention her thoughts. “You look at kid’s fashion?” “Ya-huh. Lots of cute ideas to take from there. Though, that kinda brings a new challenge to it, which is I’ve never had to quite ‘age’ up my references before…” “What’s aging up…?” Could Emily be blamed? After all, Joyce only ever taught her how to age down. “Just taking something and considering how it might change for someone older,” Amy explained. “For example, you’re not gonna find a toddler or kid with adult breasts or curves. Depending on what we’re going for, those are just a couple things to consider. And also, that day that I came over to your house to see the clothes; were you wearing a different diaper?” “H-huh?” “Do you guys use different ones, or just the same kind?” “I-I think we use the same kind,” Emily answered, though nervously just a few steps behind the casual introduction of her diapers. “I don’t know where Joyce gets them, though…” Somehow through Sheila, apparently. “Mm, well, I wish Joyce would have told me so I could account for it…” Amy said with the slightest bit of annoyance. “Does it really affect that much?” Who was Emily, the not-seamstress, to ask? “No, it doesn’t,” Amy admitted with a defeated sigh, “but if you like perfection you gotta scrutinize the details.” Things had been moving so fast that Emily didn’t register what Amy said until she had time to digest. “W-wait,” she turned her head to Amy, “you noticed a difference?” “Had a hunch,” Amy answered like it was asking for the weather, “your bum looked a little bit more puffier! Which is cute, by the way!” and Amy, the master of damage control, made a loop with her fingers and signaled the universal “OK” sign. Though her attentiveness opened the door for more questions, but ones that Emily was far too embarrassed to ask. What, “how did you know that my diaper just wasn’t wet?” What a great argument that would make; built all on the stage of self-sacrifice. “If I know what the bare minimum is like, I can consider the stretchiness for stuff that wraps around it,” Amy explained. “Too much and it either gets too loose, or suddenly your diaper isn’t getting the support that it needs.” Amy stayed calm and casual, even when indicating the obvious and terribly embarrassing. Diapers only needed support if they were hanging on to extra baggage. Either way, she sounded just like Joyce, but without all the tension, but the same exact lack of reservation. So instead of calling a bluff or doubting her claims, it was far more worth Emily’s pride and dignity if she just let Amy be right. “That’s another thing I kinda had to study, by the way,” Amy included, looking like the brunt of the burden was Emily’s fault. “Figuring out diapers isn’t easy, you know?” It was like layer after layer of discovery for the poor girl that just had to stand there and model a piece of clothing. While it was interesting to listen to Amy talk, she was completely unprepared to introduce or contribute anything to it. Diaper studies? What, was she supposed to talk about how comfy hers felt, or snug and secure they could be? Maybe they were on the same subject, but the lenses were totally different. “L-like what?” “Again, it’s all tiny stuff, but it’s worthwhile information. Just knowing the difference between plastics and cloth. Disposable and cloth. Oh– those are two huge differences, by the way! Maybe I was kinda going down the rabbit hole, but it also helps with my sketches if I know one is kind of non-negotiable for the model. Otherwise she gets punished,” Amy grinned, and Emily blushed. “If it’s like a onesie or sleeper you’re in, I need to consider the types of fabrics that I’m using if I know what kind of underwear you’ve usually got. Helps avoid extra wear on friction between materials. Lets me know if I can keep certain spots fluffy and soft” “Oh…well…uhm…you thought of a lot…” Emily was rightfully at a total loss for words, and Amy was at least self-aware to a point. “Sorry! Did I overwhelm you? I have a little file built on you, is all I mean. You and Joyce are pointing me in new places, but as a seamstress I’m better for it!” “Glad we can help…” “Glad I’ve been blessed with this work! Mmm…okay! Ready to get that dress off?” Emily blinked, and apparently that’s how long it had taken. “That’s it?” “That’s it!” Amy nodded. “Easy though, right?” “It was easy, yeah…” the girl agreed, but it didn’t change that an entire day was reserved for what, just ten minutes of her time? On some level it felt very much like a “Joyce’s assigned one chore of the day,” but where they differed was at least Amy supplemented with other things… “So…now what?” Emily asked while she let Amy undress her. Unlike where she was just obedient for Joyce, this was Emily fearing that she might ruin or tear an unfinished product. Maybe that’s why Amy also offered her help at the beginning… “Now, we take this off, you can put your normal clothes back on, and…mm, well, I guess that is kinda it then, huh?” “Are you gonna have me come back again?” Emily asked, wondering if her need had been exhausted entirely. “Oh yeah!” Amy nodded assuringly. “I’m gonna be making some tweaks to this over the next little bit and have you try it on again. Sorry in advance if that sounds boring!” “No, it’s not,” after all, chatting with Amy for the most part was pretty fun, “but I’m just a little surprised, is all.” Not that anything they discussed over the phone could’ve been false advertising, but maybe Emily’s expectations got ahead of themselves. “I know, I know,” Amy apologized, “it’s not a whole lot… I’ll see what I can do about giving you some more stuff to do for next time!” Amy said it confidently, and Emily nodded as she started to re-dress herself. Emily had the chance to look at the time, finding the new predicament that came with a light workload. “So…that’s it then?” Emily stood, taking that as her cue to leave. After all, the work was done and the day was over. “Oh, Emily, that doesn’t mean you have to leave!” Amy exclaimed, finally catching on. “Stay and be comfy! We can still hang out while I work? I have some stuff I can do down here anyway. Or, if you get bored of me you’re more than welcome to the TV upstairs.” “Yeah, but…I don’t wanna interrupt anything… Should we write down the time, or something? I think I got here at around nine, so…” and while she was nearly ready to resort to her fingers, Amy had a hand on her shoulder and forced her to sit. “Don’t worry about the hours; I have that all taken care of,” Amy dismissed. “And no, you are not imposing! Don’t be afraid to use your phone or anything, by the way. Sorry though; this doesn’t quite fill up your day like work normally should…” “Really, it’s fine,” Emily insisted, and in fact, “Besides, if I wasn’t here, I’d kinda be at home by myself…” she watched her leg for a minute, wondering if what she would say was all that workplace appropriate, “I like getting to talk with you, so…I don’t mind.” Her words must have fired like bullets out of a gun. Amy held a hand to her chest, delightfully taken aback by such a small but meaningful gesture. “Well I like getting to talk with you, you know!” Amy laughed. “Besides, you were nice enough to invite me over to your house, so obviously I should make the same gesture, shouldn’t I?” “Well…that only sort of happened because I was too scared to come over here…dressed like that.” “Everyone’s got their comfy space, right?” Amy shrugged, dusting off worry and wonder every time Emily could muster some kind of doubt. “So you’re gonna stay, right? Otherwise it’s between you and the cops once Joyce can’t find you here to pick you up,” she taunted with a grin, and Emily couldn’t help but reciprocate. “Okay, fine, I’ll stay.” “Perfect.” Amy smiled, and all was well again. For only a little bit, however. A matter of seconds, really. “...Hey, actually…Emily?” It felt like the first meaningful pause she’d heard from Amy ever. Emily’s hand stopped petting Ashes and she looked up almost nervously. “Y…yeah?” “First: you can refuse, okay?” she held out a halting hand. “If this sounds like too much, just let me know. It’s just…well…I may have one other thing that I might need you to try on…” “For a client?” Emily was already getting up from her seat. Another chance to model was another chance to work. Contribution felt good, after all. “Yes, for a client,” Amy chuckled, “but specifically for you.” “For me?” The groundwork was already laid that made it clear Amy was producing for her, but that wasn’t to say she ever expected an opportunity to see it. Especially without… “But…I thought I couldn’t see anything Joyce was having you make?” Eternal Christmas presents that wouldn’t be under the tree until Joyce said so. It’d be enough to make all the good boys and girls unionize. Amy was already flipping through pages on her table and tidying up her fabrics, then finally folding the dress. “How about I go get it, then I can explain.” “O…kay…” and Emily watched Amy hurry upstairs. The woman was still forward and cheery, but there was an air of reservation, only now coming from the other end. And as Emily heard her feet coming down the stairs, Amy was already jumping straight into explanation. “So normally– no, I can’t show you stuff; both because that’s what Joyce wants, and I don’t like sharing unless it’s fully finished, but this is something very close…” The white box Amy was holding was nondescript and hardly an indication of anything, but Emily could tell it wasn’t normal attire that was inside. After all, Joyce didn’t pay to make Emily look mature. “And, well, I wanna be extra sure this is just right.” “Is it another…onesie?” Emily, feeling daring and brave, asked the question that just might dispel the suspense. “No.” Amy said. Apparently the suspense was not dead yet. “It’s a diaper,” she continued. Apparently it was dead now. “A diaper?” Emily paused, but Amy didn’t, who took the top half of the box and lifted. Like a royal treasure atop a fur-lined pillow, Emily waited to see a diaper with a nervous beat in her chest, but was quite surprised and confused by what she saw. It definitely did look like underwear, but not the disposable kind. The colors were loud and proud. Purple, yellow, red; clashing foes that somehow perfectly encapsulated the chaos that a kid could be. Panties didn’t feel accurate, but nothing else sounded better in her head. High-cut, all-encompassing ones. Buttons were studded along the sides, and at the waist and legs there were elasticized trims of thin and light material. Most importantly, though– the most confusing part: it looked…thin. While Emily would never elect herself as the authority on diapers, surely wearing them was enough to allow her an opinion on the matter. And while she looked down at the garment confusedly, Amy with bated breath was patiently holding her hands together. “This is a…” Emily looked up at the woman, “...diaper?” “Yes!” Amy enthusiastically nodded, and Emily slowly looked down at it again. Emily went quiet, slowly reaching out her hand, waiting for Amy’s command to stop that never came. Soon she was touching the “diaper,” rubbing the material between her fingers. Though, she could hear the friction, like tiny thin fibers were rolling and sliding against each other. Sort of like… “It kinda sounds like a bathing suit,” Emily commented, and the proprietress merely laughed. “That’s the inner layer; I added some waterproofing to it! Because…well…” They each shared an uncomfortable look, “just in case! But the inside is soft! Feel it!” The idea of it being a diaper was still hardly sold on the girl. Was it an invention? Where was the padding that got the job done? That made the diaper a…a diaper! She hooked her finger around the leg band, feeling the inside. “It does feel pretty soft…” Emily agreed, but sounded like she didn’t know much else to say or how to expand on it. No way other than the kind of skepticism she felt bad giving. “Amy, I really like how it looks, but I…I don’t think this’d really do what…what a diaper is supposed to…” Where was Joyce to back her up on this? “Well, it is a prototype,” Amy slowly admitted, like a magician that begrudgingly revealed their own trick, “But I do stand by it! It’s my first time with some real functionality in clothing. Does something seem wrong with it? It works like a normal diaper, see?” Emily watched Amy reach out, making it a show of the button areas. Each side erupted in loud metal pops from where the buttons unsnapped, going off and off until none remained connected. Only then did Amy slowly but deliberately show that the buttoned fabrics unfolded and came apart, like wings on a disposable diaper. “See? There’s snaps that let you take it on and off!” Amy emphasized, flipping and flopping the wing with her hand multiple times. “Cool, right?” “Yeah, but…mm…” Emily went quiet again. “What? What is it?” Amy verbally pushed and shoved. “You’re beating around the bush, silly. You won’t hurt my feelings!” “You promise…?” “Yes, I promise,” Amy held up her hand “So? Break the news! What’s so bad?” “It’s…it’s kind of thin… Like…a lot of thin,” Emily broke the news, and as welcomed as it was it didn’t change her guilt. “Thin?” Amy asked to confirm, and Emily nodded again. Half the reason she didn’t want to say it was in fear of having to get specific, and they were already toeing a dangerous line. It’s thin! So what if it’s thin? If it’s thin it won’t…absorb! Absorb? What do you mean? When I pee myself! Or something like that. The at-home video in her head was traumatic enough. But Amy was still quiet, like she was waiting for something else, and that only made the girl more nervous. Did she want more explanation? Was she insulted? “Well…” Amy sounded like she was trying to be careful. Oh no, did I hurt her feelings? Should I apologize? “That’s because we didn’t add the padding, yet?” “O–” Emily stammered. “O-oh! Oh! That’s why?” she went for an embarrassed laugh. “S-sorry! I just thought since you said it was done and all…” Stupid! Stupid! “So…wait, how does that work then?” Amy tilted her head. “How does what work? The padding?” “Well…yeah?” Was there some kind of misunderstanding? “Don’t…doesn’t that stuff go in the diaper before you finish making it…?” Maybe she needed to ask Joyce about that when she saw her. Again, she was a diaper wearer and nothing more. “How are you supposed to get it in now?” For all she could tell, it looked pretty sealed up. “Emily?” ever so sweetly, Amy asked. “Mhm?” “Honey…do you know how cloth diapers work?” Emily blinked. “Sorry?”A cloth what? Amy’s eyes widened and Emily’s oncoming embarrassment grew just a little bit bigger. “Awh! O-oh my gosh, you don’t know? Ah!” and in a hasty rush Amy lifted the box’s interior filling, revealing varied sizes and thickness of thick cloth squares and strips. “See these?” “Y-yeah…” “These are the padding!” Amy explained with a whole new wave of enthusiasm, all because she had a sadly ignorant girl who was a product of the modern age. “Look– pick up the diaper, see?” In Emily’s hands she looked at the interior of the front face of the diaper, and Amy’s hand stuck out at a place where Emily could now see a seam and where the cream-colored fabric was bundled up. She watched the woman’s fingers go near the anomalous spot, close and closer, until… Her fingers! They disappeared! Gone! Into the void! Gone and forever– then her fingers came back out. “See this? This is where you slip in the diaper inserts! Let’s put one in now, actually,” and Amy with Emily as her vise grip parted the inner mouth of the diaper, slipping the long thick strip of material in. “Everything is safe to get wet,” Amy explained, “and all you have to do is just wash and dry it! Cool, right? It’s an infinite diaper that can look exactly the way you want it to!” And in admitted amazement, Amy’s efforts helped Emily cross the mental bridge that brought her from skepticism to the finished product the seamstress was trying to communicate. Instantly she felt the still soft and malleable, but sturdy pad fill out the diaper, going from thin and baggy to thick and taut. Suddenly she was holding a diaper, except…washable? “See what I mean now?” Amy couldn’t hide her teeth, sounding more eager by the second. “Isn’t it so cool?!” “Y-yeah…” Emily nodded, ultimately in an embarrassed place all over again. After all, Amy said it was made for her. There were no secrets about whose diaper she was holding, and yet it did nothing, or maybe even caused Amy to be so cheery. Was she expecting the girl to cheer right alongside and be just as happy? She was, and she was grateful, but… Being excited about what she got to pee in… “Ah…!” Amy stepped away, making a dramatic sigh. “Maybe Joyce would’ve been better to show!” “W-wait, no!” Emily in a hurry spoke up. “I-It’s not that I don’t like it, it’s just that…that I’m…” A hand was on her wrist, setting the diaper down. “Relax, it’s fine,” Amy chuckled, back to her sincere self. “I know you can be a little nervous about this stuff at first. Sorry for teasing too much~!” she sang. “But I still wanted to show you. “So does Joyce know about this?” Emily asked in her direction, but her eyes couldn’t stop going elsewhere. Somewhere specific though. Directly down at the diaper…sitting unfolded and open… It was made for her. Would it fit? Of course it would…Amy made it. It was her diaper. Tailor made and thought of. A silly, stupid design; something reminiscent of the way Joyce got her into making a messy minefield of crayons in her coloring books. …Stylish… “But it’s a prototype…” Amy sorrowfully explained. “Close to being done, but it needs a couple more things…” Her statement was leading, like there was more to it, and just maybe, Emily was expected to pick up on it. “Like what? It…looks done to me?” “Well, it’s yours,” Amy seemed to chuckle to herself over that, “so I still need to put your signature on it.” “Signature?” “Yeah; a little something that shows I made it and it was made for you. I do it with everything I make. Anything from me that Joyce got has her own signature too. I don’t write an actual name, or anything. Remember that denim dress of yours? The front pocket with the paw print? That’s your signature!” Then the explanation clicked. The one reference was all she needed as a reminder to what Joyce explained way back when in the beginning. The day she got her big and bountiful birthday present. “Oh…I guess I never remembered seeing it on Joyce’s clothes, though…” Not her dresses, which is what she imagined Amy did most for her. “Well…” Amy averted her eyes, taking a playful finger to her chin. “Yours may not be as…discreet as what I do for everyone else.” “Discreet?” “Most of what I do is for formal or high-end events, so little personal touches like that are sort of a no-no. I keep that somewhere on the inside of the outfit. But with you, I don’t have to worry about that!” she laughed. “I can’t imagine you’d wanna wear your footie pajamas to a party, right?” “N-no…” Emily agreed with a blush. “Right, well, it started off as a small idea, but I really like how it turned out. The little pet paw I give all your stuff works great as part of the overall design. Think of it like…like your own fashion brand, yeah!” Amy sparked with glee, and Emily with far less context and passion to ride the highs smiled nonetheless. “Your own chique set. Mwah, fantastique~!” And finally her charades were infectious enough to make Emily laugh herself. “Long story short,” Amy chuckled a little bit more after finally settling down, “it’s what turns all your clothes into a branded set. Sorta for style and identity.” “Okay, I think I get it,” Emily nodded. “That’s…I…I mean…I know you’re being paid for this, Amy, but…thank you.” “Hm? Of course! I’m happy to do it, but yes, being paid certainly makes me happier,” she laughed again. “Right, but…I’m…I’m sorry for taking so long to show any of that to you.” “Huh?” Amy’s smile sank, “hon, what are you apologizing for?” “Ever since my birthday, Joyce told me how you made all those outfits for me… The onesies, dress, and pajamas… She said from the very beginning how much you wanted to see them…see me in them… And…only until it actually happened, I really didn’t wanna show anybody… I was nervous, scared, and embarrassed, and I still am…but none of that was being fair to you. So…I’m sorry.” “Emily…” Amy said in a warm voice, reaching out for the somber and withdrawn. Her hand landed on the girl’s shoulder. “You don’t think I was upset at all, do you?” And all the girl did was shrug. “Maybe? I mean, you have every right to be…” “Emily…yes, I really did want to see you all dressed up, because, well, that’s something new for me, and it’s obviously something new to you too. But even if I made it, the fact that Joyce paid for it is as far as any obligation or responsibility you or she has for me goes. Period. Don’t feel like you had to do anything for me, okay? Because while I might say things to Joyce, I don’t want you to think I was pressuring for anything to happen, okay? ” “Mhm…” Emily nodded. “Thank you… I’m sorry for saying all that; I guess I can overthink things a little…” “Believe me, I think you’re the only one who’s kind enough to be honest about it. I bet half the things that go on inside your girlfriend’s head would make me go cooky…!” In a dramatic fashion she stuck out her tongue, corkscrewing the side of her head with a finger, leading to Emily’s laugh. “You better watch what you say,” Emily giggled, “what happens if I tell Joyce?” “Then I tell her you climbed on something high without my permission,” Amy narrowed her eyes. “Do it and I promise you mutually assured destruction.” And the staring match lasted all of three seconds before both burst into laughter. “I’m glad I’ve got you in a good mood again! Because…” Amy’s hand went near the corner of the box again. “This needs something else other than a signature…” Emily waited without saying anything, but she made eye contact with Amy. “Emily, do you wanna try this on for me?” “Try it…on?” Emily said the words back at her, like she didn’t hear her right. “In private, of course!” Amy suddenly stammered. “I’m not gonna make you do that here. I don’t wanna embarrass you, but since we’ve already done a fashion show once before, I figured this might be fine? You’re more than welcome to use the bathroom upstairs, or I could go up and wait for–” “I-I can’t…” “Sorry? You can’t?” It wasn’t doubt in Amy’s voice, but self-surprise from something she somehow overlooked. Emily shook her head. “I…I guess I’d be willing, but…I’m…not allowed to…” Amy blinked once, then twice, then she remembered lunch. “O-oh! That’s right…! You’re not allowed… Joyce takes care of that, doesn’t she?” It wasn’t in such explicit terms, but Emily bashfully nodded nonetheless. Amy glanced down at the garment, having all the pieces but a single, tiny bit of technicality that sat in the way of her testing. “Sorry, Amy…” Emily looked genuinely apologetic. “I’d do it, but…I like to joke a lot about rules with Joyce, but I think this one really does matter to her.” It was the one thing that truly felt inalienable and unbreakable. She could imagine herself doing it intentionally haphazardly, or taking one off in just a moment of bratty fun, but while they would undoubtedly bring harsh consequences, she could see it all as part of the lifestyle. But deliberately putting one on without mistake or some ulterior, immature motive? That was…well, it was supposed to not be Emily’s job. Babies didn’t put on their own diapers. It was their last bastion to what made this all so real, and it was one of the most important pillars that defined Emily’s willful dependence. But that wasn’t to say this wasn’t a moment without good reason? It wasn’t actually wearing a diaper, right? It was just a fitting session? One she could do in private, but one that if Joyce ever found out about would certainly lead to questions. It wasn’t about the problems of trying to hide the lie, though, but the act of lying itself. No more secrets. Honesty. “Let…let me call her,” Emily decided, and Amy looked surprised. “Oh, Emily, you don’t have to do that. I appreciate it, really, but we can just do this later?” “No, it’s okay,” Emily answered, then nodded as if affirming herself. “Besides, the worst that can happen is she’ll say no?” “Yeah, but maybe we shouldn’t bother her while she’s at work…” That did make the girl pause, being the very thing she did not like doing either. But this was important. And the same reasoning applied; if Joyce couldn’t pick up, then that’s all there was to it. “I’m gonna try calling her,” Emily decided again, and with a sense of determination, she pulled out her phone. “Uhm…can I ask you something?” Emily’s voice sounded hesitant over the phone. Joyce creased her brows while she walked, “Of course you can?” Was something wrong? “Can…” as much as she hyped herself up before calling, simulated training could never seem to match practical experience. “Can I wear a diaper?” There was a long pause over the phone. Silence, and Emily’s toes couldn’t stop rubbing against one another while she watched the battle from above. “Emily?” Joyce spoke, but she sounded conflicted… Confused? “Y-yeah?” “I’m headed to my office now… Just give me a second please, okay?” “Okay… Are you mad?” “No, I’m not.” But she sure was confused as all hell. What would Emily need to wear a diaper for, and why was she asking something like that when Joyce wasn’t there? “Sh-Sheila,” Joyce called for her assistant with the phone held against her shoulder, “I’m sorry, but I think I left one of my binders in the conference room? Would you mind going down to get it?” “Of course,” Sheila nodded, and she was off, and Joyce was alone as she stepped inside the room. “Emily, are you still there?” “Yeah.” “Sweetie, what did you ask again?” Maybe it was just the jam-packed schedule of the day getting to her. Joyce in her many moments of failure was finally learning to try and hear things out fully and completely. “Can…I wear a diaper?” Okay, maybe she hadn’t misheard… “Sweetie, I’m a little confused…are you at home right now?” Amy didn’t mention anything about her leaving. Did she miss a message? “No…I’m at Amy’s.” “And you want to wear a diaper…?” Was this Emily? “...Yeah.” “Emily, honey, is Amy with you?” She had to be. There couldn’t be any other reason for this, even if Joyce had no idea what it was. “Yeah, she is.” “Could you please put her on?” “Is this taking up your time?” Emily asked with a guilty voice now. “It’s okay– I don’t have to.” “No, no, I’m glad you called. Sorry…today’s been a tiny bit busy. Not because I brought you over to Amy’s,” good lie, Joyce, “I’ve just had some unexpected things drop on me at the last minute. But could you give Amy the phone, please?” “Mhm…” Emily agreed, then silently held it out for Amy. “Joyce? It’s Amy.” “Amy? Is everything okay?” “It’s fantastique, one might say! We’re doing fine! I’m sorry about calling like this; I suggested we shouldn’t, but Emily wanted to.” Joyce without much back and forth cut straight to it and asked, “Why does she want to wear a diaper?” “Look, Joyce, I know… It’s not the most exciting thing for a parent trying to potty train to hea–” “--Amy?” Joyce cut in, sounding awfully serious. “Did you say something?” As much of a friend as she was, absolutely no one or anything would stand between her and Emily. Emily didn’t ask to do things like that on her own. Not unless provoked, pressured, or…or something else? It felt far too uncharacteristic, and the fact that Joyce couldn’t be there to understand why was making her more upset by the second. “Joyce, everything is fine!” Amy tried to calm her. “No, so I showed Emily something from my workshop; something you haven’t seen either, nor asked for, so it’s fair game! But it’s different from what I usually do, so I wasn’t sure how it’d fit. I was willing to wait, but Emily wanted to try it on now, but she wanted to ask for your permission. I promise, I didn’t try to force her into this, and if you say ‘no,’ then I pack it up and we’ll wait.” “...So she asked? All by herself?” Emily did? Joyce’s Emily, the girl that throws tantrums over going to the dentist? “Yep, she did.” “...Could you please put Emily back on?” The phone was exchanged again. “Joyce?” It was Emily’s voice again. “Emily…you know we have a rule about this.” “I know…but, I figured it might be okay, since it’s just to try something on? It comes off! It’s like clothing!” Like clothing? Joyce shared a confused look with herself. A cloth diaper? “Emily…no, I don’t want you putting one on yourself. Even if it’s just for a fitting.” “I–...okay.” As much as Emily could try and debate, not only did she expect not to win, but also how much it would bother Joyce in trying to poke, prod, stretch and twist what she’d rather remain unspoken, untouched and understood. And yet, as much as Joyce didn’t like the initial feeling, with great reluctance… “...But yes,” she sighed, “you can wear one.” “I-I can…?” Emily stammered. “B-but, you said…” “Yes, you cannot put one on, Emily. That hasn’t changed,” Joyce frowned, dreading the next part. “But…if it’s an adult that I trust…then it’s different.” “J…Joyce?” “I’m going to need you to put Amy back on in a second, but I need to explain something else to you, Emily. Are you listening?” The girl suddenly felt fidgety from all her nerves about to go haywire. “Yes…” “Emily, when you wear a diaper, it’s not pretend, okay? I know you understand how much this means to me, and I know how much it means to you. That’s why I just don’t want to make any lighthearted habits out of this. It’d be different if I was there, but…this is something new for me, so I feel like I have to be strict about it.” “No…I understand,” after all, Joyce somehow not being part of the equation that involved diapers did sound unthinkable. “That’s why when you put Amy on, I’m going to tell her that the only way you can wear a diaper is if she puts you in one.” Her words came down like a bombshell. “W-what?” “A trusted adult, Emily,” Joyce reminded her. “If you want to wear one, then Amy has to put it on you.” “But…but she doesn’t…I…” “I’m not trying to be difficult, Emily, but you’re the last person I want putting you in diapers. Leave that stuff to the grownups, okay?” And with the might of her wisdom, Emily felt the electric tingle as a part of her brain somehow melted. And if the blow hadn’t struck hard enough already, Joyce delivered a one-two-three right after. “And Emily, when you wear a diaper, it means the same rules apply, understood? Your diaper stays on. That means all day until I come to pick you up.” Obediently, she murmured into the phone, “Mhm… I…nevermind…I-I’ll just wait for you.” “Emily, could you please put Amy on?” “H-huh? B-but I can wait, Joyce. It’s fine, really.” But unfortunately, a door had been opened that would not be allowed to shut. Calmly, but firmly, Joyce insisted. “Emily? Baby? Put Amy on.” There was another long pause, and finally Emily’s head creaked up and looked at Amy, slowly, but eventually handing the phone over to her. Though, the girl was just about ready to jump ship and run. She didn’t know what kind of result she was expecting, but Amy as part of it was very much not that. “Joyce?” Round two for Amy. “Amy? Does Emily look upset right now?” “...Mm, yeah, I’d say so.” And suddenly the discomfort for both girlfriends was mutual. But at least in Joyce’s eyes it was deemed a necessary evil. “Well, it’s because of what I’m about to tell you. I said she can wear one,” and the fact she was in second place with being so open to Amy about diapers frankly threw Joyce for an even bigger loop. “But, Amy, and this is absolutely nothing I’m asking you to do. What I did tell Emily though is that she can wear one, but she’s still not allowed to do it herself.” If they were calling Joyce, she figured Amy knew as much about that rule. “The only way I’ll let her though is if you put her in one.” Boom, a personal bombshell for Joyce. “Sorry?” Amy spoke, but her mind was given a momentary lapse. “Amy, Emily’s not allowed to put on her diapers. I told her you’re the only one there allowed to do it for her right now. I think she’s upset because she’s getting exactly what she’d get if she were with me,” and the fact that Joyce wasn’t there made her heart ache, but teaching moments like this were also moments to teach herself. Begrudgingly. “But…me?” Amy repeated, at a loss, and a small glance over at Emily looking to be on the verge of tears made her even more taken aback. “Amy, if you’ve gotten her already talking about this kind of stuff around you, you’ve clearly broken down some of her barriers,” and that fact was certainly heartwarming for the busy mommy. “But this is something largely between me and Emily. It’s our relationship, and I don’t want to force you into that. That’s why this is completely at your discretion. Whatever it is that you made, I appreciate it and I can’t wait to see it, but I don’t want to ask you to become any more personally involved than that…” Yet she sighed again. “But…what I’m saying now…if…you wanted to…you may fill that role for Emily right now…” “I…wow…” Amy murmured. “Sorry, I…mm…I guess I wasn’t expecting things to go this way,” she chuckled. “I didn’t either, but since it did, I think it’s good, honestly… Since it’s you, Amy, I really would rather she’s comfortable around you like that. I don’t mean acting in any sort of way, but just…in the things that she wears. ” “No, no, I understand what you mean,” Amy nodded. “But so we’re clear…it’s up to me?” “Yes, and I’m about to explain that to Emily. But if she wears it, Amy, it has to stay on until I’m there. I…there’s a lot to this, but right now, with something like this, I want to be firm about it, for whatever might come of it.” “No…uhm…I understand…” Amy said again, though much more passively, like her mind was elsewhere. “And again, you can say no, but I want it to be your decision, not Emily’s. Since she brought it up, she decided that this was a possibility now.” And she knew how afraid it would make Emily, and how nervous she would feel, but it felt…necessary. Or possibly like a breakthrough? The next step? If it even came to that. Amy could always refuse, and that would be that. No harm no foul. Was this a misplay from Joyce? Knowing Emily at this point…it didn’t seem that way. “...Okay. Sure, yeah. Should I put Emily back on?” “Please.” Amy quietly walked back over to the couch where Emily was now huddled, petting Ashes in her lap, looking to be digesting some very difficult feelings at the moment. “Em?” Amy quietly spoke up, holding out the phone. “Last time, I think.” And slowly, Emily took the phone but still stayed curled up against the couch. “Joyce…?” “Emily? Baby?” There was a sniffle. “Mhm…” “Now above everything, you know how much I love you, right?” “Uh-huh…” Oh lord, her stomach was already turning. Emily hated sweet talks like this because she always knew it was just to make something bitter go down easier. “And you know that I’d only do something if I knew it was safe and in your best interest?” She felt like she was going to be sick. “Y-yeah…” “I just let Amy know what we talked about, but there’s one other thing, okay?” “...What?” “Emily, please, don’t be upset with me,” Joyce was kind, but she knew the sound of a tone that wasn’t. Not that she held it against Emily. It was expected at this point, but sometimes bitter pills have to be swallowed. “Now, I trust Amy, and it sounds like you’ve started to trust her a whole lot more today, right?” “...Mhm…” “Well, that’s why I’m leaving the decision of diapering up to Amy. Whether you ask her to or not.” “Wh-what?” Emily stammered. Up to Amy alone?! “B-but–!” “But nothing,” Joyce said with finality. “Emily, if you’re not going to be honest with yourself, then I will. Amy’s in charge of that decision right now. If she decides to diaper you, then you listen, or that’s something we’ll deal with when I get out of work. Understood?” “...” Silence ensued, but what Joyce knew and Emily certainly knew was that as strict and solid as Joyce was being, there was a way to stop this. A single word that need only be spoken and the impossible would become possible again. Emily need only say it. “Do I need to hear anything else?” It was quiet on the other end for just a little longer. “...I…I understand.” “Good. And no matter what happens, I’ll be off of work in just a few more hours, okay?” “Mhm…” “And Emily?” “Yes…?” “Mommy loves you!” It made her feel fuzzy and warm, but she knew the moment they hung up that those warm feelings wouldn’t be there to protect her from her own reckless decisions that just landed her on a one-way street. “I love you too…” And while things had yet to stabilize, all was well again. Enough for Joyce to softly smile. “Okay, Mommy loves you too. Remember to listen to what Amy says. Bye.” And she hung up. And Emily stared at the empty phone in her hands. “She…hung up…” Emily said, suddenly feeling a vast chasm between the two now. Every sense of comfortability now was out the window and in the fire. With what knowledge that now plagued their minds, it scared Emily from even sharing the same room as Amy. But here they were, standing within a room’s width of each other. Amy was quiet for a long while, far more pensive than she’d ever been. She walked over to the desk, staring down at the box of gifts she had brought, suddenly seeing them in a whole new light. A peculiar one. She looked over at the couch, still with Emily and half her face hiding in the cushions while she self-soothed by petting Ashes. Then she looked down at the box again. “...Emily?” Amy softly called for her, right as she sat down upright beside her. Emily responded in a low, shaky and nervous mumble, “Mm…mhm…?” “Can you sit up for a sec? Look at me for a minute?” The one silver lining was that Ashes didn’t leave her lap while she adjusted; the last safe thing she had for comfort that didn’t judge her for her deepest and darkest secrets. Just a point of unconditional love.to get her through all her other worries. And Emily looked, but her lower lip quivered as her mouth imploded, seeing what she did not want to see. Resting in Amy’s lap. If only she had her cat. Too bad it was in Emily’s. Though her companion looked just as soft and just as comfy. A companion that offered a sense of security, and one that could support its owner in vastly different ways. “I…wasn’t expecting things to go like this…” Amy did her best to look at Emily, but even she was nervous. And yet, she couldn’t help but answer the distant call to be the lead and the authority. And Emily shuddered when she watched Amy’s hands tumble the object in her lap, spreading it and smoothing out the creases, just like Emily stroked Ashes’ back. The same comforting hand from before was suddenly back on Emily’s shoulder, making her jump at first, but immediately falling limp to the touch. “I know what Joyce said, but…well…” Is…is she not going to? “...If it really is alright with you, I…I think I do want to try putting this on you.” And it was a quiet moment of total vulnerability, the more Amy bundled the fabric, but finally, she held up the cloth diaper like a love letter, and tilted her head with an innocent smile. “Emily…do you think you could lay down for me?” 49 - The Places We’ll Go It was an uncomfortable silence. Very uncomfortable. It was warm, hot, confusing, and obscenely embarrassing. The world was spinning, there must have been an earthquake because her heart was thumping tremors. “H…” Emily breathed a sound, but her tongue felt numb. “H-h….huh?” Never. Not ever; not in a year, ten years, one hundred, one thousand, or in the lifetime of the universe did Emily even think she’d be faced with this. As dumb and stupid as she was to have skirted the line so carelessly, she didn’t actually expect the consequences. After all, what rule had she broken? But sitting on the same couch as her, just a few cushions down, Amy with her head tilted ever so slightly, creased her brows with the tiniest signs of a disappointed smile. Maybe if Emily wasn’t as frazzled as she was, she may have noticed even the slight blush from Amy herself. The bright yellow and purple diaper, made by Amy herself, was held against her chest by the edges where the tips of her curled fingers clutched it. “No…?” Amy smiled as sweetly as she was shy now, but somehow able to overcome all that and project an overwhelming sense of desire. “A-Amy…I…” The loose fabric on Emily’s legs started to collect and converge right where her hands were bunching whatever they could hold, over and over. A diaper. A diaper was offered to her. No, not even offered, but softly forced. She saw the diaper, the soft hands, well-kept nails and casual and comforting clothes. It almost made her reminiscent of whom she could only ever think of in a case like this, but looking any higher brought clashing headaches and confusion when it wasn’t who she expected it to be. It wasn’t her Joyce making demands. It wasn’t her mommy. She was across the city, doing other things as she saw fit, while simultaneously now ordering others to do her bidding. She couldn’t do that, but she did, and the predicament Emily found herself in now was a living example of that. This was a proxy, that’s all it was. Joyce multitasking from another body, doing what she did best and wanted most. But…the sensation was different. The feeling. “...Emily, I…” Amy’s lips retracted inwardly. “...I think I understand…a little.” Understand? Understand what? What could she understand? This…she didn’t do this! She…she made clothes! Not diapers…! The cloth diaper in her hands slowly dropped into her lap where she slowly smoothened it out over and over. “When I make people clothes, I try to understand a lot of things about them. What they like, who they are, and how they might want to feel. I know it sounds a bit ridiculous, but I really do try and capture who they are as a person.” “But–” Emily bit her lip anxiously, “but you do this for Joyce? I…” she sighed worriedly, “I-I like it too…I do, Amy, I….I really do… b-but this is for Joyce?” After a quiet few seconds, Amy broke the silence. “Is it?” Her lowered eyes were saving her from the paralyzing feeling of direct contact, but her space was invaded again once Amy cocked her head out even further just to lower into it. It was uncomfortable and weird. Amy still felt the same and that was the most troubling. She felt just as gentle and just as accepting, only now different shocks were traveling down the same wire Emily let her plug into. Before she opened her mouth her chin was already shaking. All the progress they’d made felt completely undone, and why was that? Were they not just talking about all the things Emily did with Joyce? Maybe that was it. Talking. There wasn’t any physical evidence of the crimes or fingerprints to convict the culprits. Words were words and this was…real. Very real. Too real. In a silly, shortsighted way Emily went out on a limb without even coming close to fully realizing just what kind of chain reaction she could have set off. But again, miraculously, it could have been stopped. “When I came over your house just to see you all dressed up, I really can’t tell you how happy I was, but, well,” Amy stifled a giggle, then let out a small laugh. “I think I kinda made my point when I hugged you?” And Emily remembered it too. Yet another terrifying moment when she thought it was practically life or death whether she’d be eaten alive by an outside spectator. Christ, Amy volunteered herself as a participant at that. “Emily, I can’t get over how adorable I think you are. –And don’t think of this as a confession, or anything!” she worriedly blurted out. “Please don’t think of it like that,” she humorously moaned. “I don’t want Joyce hating me!” Amy’s artillery was strong, and her bunker-busting banter was unrivaled, but Emily’s self-conscious cage was just that much tougher. The seamstress mumbled, “It’s kind of embarrassing,” Ah, touché. Amy went on, “but…I can’t get that stuff out of my head now after visiting your place… I think a whole lot about my clients and how their clothes are going to fit and look, but with you guys, it’s just…different.” If only she knew how big the word ‘different’ seemed to be in Emily and Joyce’s lives. “B-but you…Joyce wants this stuff…” Emily muttered with the single card in her hand to play. Amy’s sudden and immediate retort was cruel, precisely because it felt like a knife in Emily’s back. “Is that why you wanted to wear those footie pajamas on your own?” It was far from unkind, and she delivered the blow gently but effectively. Nevertheless the wound made Emily wince. She certainly was stabbed in the back. Maybe only with a foam knife, though… “You’ve been so honest with me today, Emily, and I love getting to hear so much about you. I don’t want you to feel like you need to keep up your guard around me, because you don’t. I know what you two have. I get it. Not like get-get, but enough to know that I can tell when you’re lying, Emily.” Oof. The accusation was more electricity and Emily’s shoulders took the shock. “Yes, I do this for Joyce, but I do it for myself, and I do it for you. You don’t have to lie,” she stressed, and finally the flames were too strong for the girl to even look at the confrontation. “Hey, Emily…” Amy called and even reached out for her shoulder. “It’s…it’s not for me. It’s for Joyce.” “No? Is it?” Amy was a friend, and she was kind, which is why it made it so much harder to hear the sickening amount of doubt her few words were saturated in. “Should I stop, then? Do you want to pretend today never happened? That we didn’t talk and hang out? About all the silly ways Joyce can be a bully, and you can be a mischief-maker?” she chuckled, and Emily nearly felt herself be swept away by the urge to grin. “We are friends, aren’t we?” Amy asked, and finally she expressed the smallest amount of self-doubt, like there had been an unfortunate misunderstanding. As if her kindness had merely been borrowed to suit Emily for the afternoon, and nothing more. “W-we are!” Emily stressed, reaching out just enough to stop the wreck from derailing. Her chest rose and fell uncomfortably as the words stumbled and tumbled, but they came out nonetheless. “I-I…I want to be friends, Amy, a-and I don’t know why I’m so…s-so like this…! It’s…it’s j-just embarrassing, but I know you are nice and wanna help, but I…it’s just…!” “Wanna hug?” Amy asked with open arms, and Emily couldn’t have fallen for her faster. The moment her head came against Amy’s chest, she stared off to the side where all the fabrics, needles and threads were, and just beyond that the shelves of bins she sorted through. It wasn’t the same as Joyce, but it didn’t feel that far from just as comforting. It was just different. Her lips quivered and the sharp lines of the shelves and corners from the tables all started to go blurry like her camera was out of focus. The lens was just wet, though, because her whimpers went on to tears. “I-Ih’m sorry…!” Emily sniffled and whimpered, and Amy did the same thing that Joyce did and rubbed circles on her back. “Don’t be sorry,” Amy chuckled. “Also, how much practice do you have with Joyce? Do you know how good of a hugger you are?” “S-sorry…” Emily immediately softened her arms like wet noodles, but a sudden firm grip on her triceps forced them back to the tight way they were. “Did I say to stop?” Amy taunted, then laughed. “Nuh-uh, hug as much as you wanna.” So she did, and despite the embarrassment she felt there wasn’t a second attempt to go limp. Maybe she felt ashamed, but by this point she was too well-trained by Joyce to not crave physical affection. Physical affection simply made her feel too good now to not crave them. Not when she felt like this, no matter the circumstances. Her worst enemy or agent of destruction could somehow be her best friend with just a simple gesture. One that bled from Emily’s smaller and simpler self into her adult headspace. “You’re cute, Emily. So cute,” Amy hummed, holding her nearby the whole time. “Do I hug as good as Joyce does?” Maybe for many reasons Emily shrugged. It didn’t quite feel like a one-to-one comparison, and also she probably couldn’t forsake herself by criticizing either woman. After all, Amy was here to hear if she was criticized, and Joyce…well, somehow had omnipotent powers. “Good point. Probably shouldn’t make ya choose,” Amy pondered to herself, and finally the first smile shined on that dreary day. “Em, I like you, and I like Joyce. I met her first and I’ve known her for longer, but I feel like after today I’ve learned so much about you. I’m sure you can guess, but I don’t get all close and cushy like this with just anybody, you know?” “S-sorry…” “Don’t be sorry!” Amy admonished with a laugh. “I’m just saying that’s how it is. I like you two a lot, and I guess I like doing what I do for you two.” “But you don’t like this…” Emily whispered with her head half-submerged in a self-conscious muck, but one that even she didn’t believe herself. “Now you’re just trying to get me to spell it out,” Amy playfully scoffed. “I like this too,” she rolled her eyes. “I’m no therapist or anything, so I can’t pretend like I know why, but I just like it. I like cute things, Em, on top of liking you,” she emphasized, if there was any doubt that the appreciation was fleeting. “I want to see more of that side from you. The kind that can giggle and laugh, tell me all about the ways Joyce can be mean or silly, and let me make so many more things just to draw that side out even more. Hey, tell me, does Joyce make lunches like that for you all the time?” “Kinda…” Emily murmured, still leaning into Amy’s comforting embrace. “She…she wanted me to get a lunchbox…” Amy feigned a gasp. “And you didn’t get one?” “It’s…embarrassing…” “Yeah, maybe for like two seconds! You opened up to me, didn’t you? Awh…!” Amy laughed, and the woman’s comforting hug was just a little tighter. “You’re a real keeper when you’re bubbly, but feeling nervous over stuff like that is pretty good too,” she chuckled. “You don’t get it…” Emily mumbled next, and Amy sounded with disbelief. “Oooh no,” she refuted then shook her head. “I said that I didn’t understand some stuff, but I know exactly how you tick, missy. I can tell you like stuff like this. You like hugs, and you like feeling cute. I’m absolutely sure it makes you embarrassed, but I think you’re okay with that. If it makes you feel small and doted on, it’s your fit.” Amy’s lips were just starting to part, showing her toothy smile. “Th-that’s not…” Emily started to say, and even with enough bravery to finally look up at Amy, but she froze. She was met with a smug, eyebrow-raised grin from the same woman giving her the affection she very much indeed liked. And suddenly Emily was pulling away and retreating to her end of the couch. “Oooh? Now you don’t like them, huh?” Amy teased, and Emily’s mouth quivered. Finally Amy’s smirk softened into just a smile. “I’m not gonna ask you to spell it out, but I have noticed something…?” And Emily, already with her tail caught by the trap, nervously waited to hear her captor’s words. “In all this time, after all these tears…talking to Joyce, me, and acting the way you have, you haven’t once asked me to stop?” She waited for an answer, but Emily’s tongue had been long since removed, and the tiny, but oh-so important detail that Amy was finally starting to see was that it was all by choice. Emily’s choice. It was the golden and unspoken rule, but Amy had gone and dragged it out in the open. It was the quietest she’d ever gone, and while Amy may have heard that she was making sound, the words not quite so much. “Th-that’s becauz…I…” Emily was still close enough for Amy to pat her knee as she stood. Emily watched the woman in her primest element, looking over her workshop like a torture chamber filled with tools. She observed her arsenal and finally landed on something that was on a shelf too high for Emily to reach “This should work…!” Amy decided one-sidedly, looking down at a large bundle of purple fabric in her hands. She set the bundle on her desk and then grabbed the end of her coffee table, sliding it away from the couch and Emily, leaving a wide, open space right in front of her. Amy flung the fold of cloth outward, wafting it like a sheet until it was fully unfurled and laying wide, long, and flat like a big blanket. Almost like a… Emily was a second too slow to notice Amy grab what she left on the couch while on her knees, and then the music stopped all over again with a double pat on her thighs like a gentle beckon. “Emily? Down here, hon.” “Wh-...B-but Amy, I…” Emily stammered and started her retreat, tucking her feet under her legs, but Amy pounced, leaping and locking her hands on Emily’s ankles like they were shackled. “Nuh-uh! No you don’t!” she giggled, and Emily whined just barely. Her system was too shocked and the one thing she could hold on to was a cushion that popped right out of place and fell right with her. “A-Amy, please!” Emily cried from her new spot on the blanketed floor, but her puffy shield was swiped away next and set aside. And before Emily could try and escape her feet fell victim again once two anchors wrapped around them. Amy was the predator and Emily was prey, and just like textbook biology only one of them was enjoying it. “Emily,” Amy said it loud and clear in a way that cut through the mood entirely, like her core was being addressed. “Joyce gave me permission to do this, didn’t she?” Crap! No! Why is she saying that?! Her look of embarrassed discomfort went up a notch at the drop of the J word. Joyce said so, so Emily had to. “...D…” Amy started quietly, but her expression tightened just slightly some more. “Didn’t Mommy say so?” Then the girl’s heart skipped a beat, and then another. So many skips as all the caterpillars she had for lunch were blossoming into thousands of fluttery butterflies inside her stomach. The ants in her pants were marching for conquest and her face was on fire. The J word was always bad. All-powerful and seemingly invincible. And yet, there somehow existed a weapon of even greater mass destruction than that. Mommy. It was meant to be a secret that no one else knew about. Too powerful and too dangerous to be known by the masses, and even the upper echelons of the Joyce & Emily social circle. But the nuke came crashing down, obliterating everything indiscriminately. The imaginary gust of wind blew right over the bashful girl’s face, stripping layer after layer away by the immense heated shockwave coming from the unexpected tyrant right in front of her. It was the second in command. The incarnate of Joyce Summers herself. Everything went like a crumbling building. First her outward embarrassment was lost, then every hair on her body went erect. She felt paralyzed as the tingling sensation rocked her through in a matter of milliseconds. It was the shock from not realizing she was already dead. Emily was killed. Her entire self was wiped into smithereens, leaving nothing left but her rawest, most vulnerable self. “Sh-she…she told me to behave…” Emily whimpered, barely even able to see straight now that her mind was melting mush trying to solidify under the blazing sun. Amy, of all people, had played a card in her deck that Emily didn’t even think was possible. The shock alone was enough to knock her over, had she not already been on her bottom. The mommy card. She was submissive before, but a dial was turned, a switch was flipped and a button was pressed. It didn’t go unnoticed by Amy, who looked taken aback for just a split-second, but no more than that. Emily wasn’t the only one swept into the momentum as the seamstress herself slipped into whatever she was feeling at a frightening speed. “Just…just think of it as trying on some more clothes for me, okay?” Amy smiled, now with the high ground and looking down at her little model. What kind of magic does Joyce work on her…? Amy waited for a moment, expecting Emily to undress for her. “Oh– right,” Amy stared through her with a slightly dumbfounded look. “I guess that part’s my job too, huh?” “I-I…I can help…” Another whisper from the quiet and conquered, laying back while the mood and circumstances assaulted her in ways that felt unimaginable. With Joyce there was always the unexpected, and by now Emily was prepared for that. Amy wasn’t though. She was an outsider, at least she was supposed to be. But henceforth she would certainly be “in” now., and to somehow be surprised by that was ridiculous. After all, it was Emily’s own fault. “Mmm, keep those hands where I can see them, missy,” Amy barked in a chipper voice, having the girl assume a surrendered pose. “Just do what you normally do, kay?” What she normally did. What, chit-chat with Joyce? Try and anticipate a wet raspberry or kiss on the cheek or forehead? For just a tiny moment Emily abandoned all sense of reason, truly wondering if Amy really did somehow have Mommy’s entire playbook. The feeling of another person’s nails gently digging against her sides made her shiver, and the talons sunk around and through the waistband of her panties, clutching her pants right with it. “And…down-down-down-down-down!” Amy continued the game, repeating jovially with each and every tug she made, bunching it up more and more, leaving more and more of Emily and her privates to see. Something only Joyce would regularly see. “Wanna keep your socks on? Actually–” Amy hung her head out, holding up her finger like she was testing the wind. “Nevermind. Don’t want cold feet.” And just when Emily’s feet were free and she was able to move, her knees slowly started to rise as she hoped to protect whatever she could. “Did somebody put rubber bands in these legs?” Amy laughed lightly, pulling them right back out, however. “Em, hon, it’s my job to work with clothes, so it’s nothing new seeing somebody naked?” she said nonchalantly, all the while making eye contact, catching Emily’s full lower naked half in view. Pop! Pop! Pop! Every snap that came undone was like a ringing gunshot. She flinched with each sound, knowing that the inevitable was closing in at a terrifying pace. “Then we go up…!” Amy soothed as Emily’s legs were suddenly mounted on the woman’s shoulder, taking Emily to the same extremes that Joyce always did. Wasn’t that difficult because she was…bigger than a normal baby? “Now I can see how Joyce might do it,” she chuckled, “you’re as light as a feather!” Emily was back to turning her head, watching the underside of the couch as her poor defense mechanism. After all, if she couldn’t see it, surely she wouldn’t believe it. Maybe from this vantage point she could see anything she may have missed… Oh, look, a few small tufts of thread… “And one-two-three!” Amy cheered as she lifted just a slight bit higher and Emily’s bum left the ground. She braced for the hard landing, but without seeing it happen, miraculously the soft fabric beneath her had somehow become even softer. “Okay…moment of truth!” Amy announced excitedly, making that only one of them, and right after Emily’s heels touched the floor they were nudged apart. Not a moment later and a very familiar yet presently unwelcome sensation hit her. Physically and mentally so. A soft and secure bulk grew between her legs, covering her crotch and resting just at the bottom of her stomach. It felt so familiar, like it was something she went through just this morning after waking up. Maybe because that was exactly the case, only slightly different. Her difference was the bulk was a different kind of soft, as if she was misappropriating a shirt or sweater. “The measurements should be fine, but I’m a little nervous…!” Amy grinned as that same softness Emily felt between her legs was beginning to go the same way about her hips. As it all joined into one, the snugness and comforting sense of security came forward, regardless of how nerve-wracking it really all was. With each pop into her padded prison she became one button more trapped in her diaper. Diapered not by Mommy, but by a friend, and not even in a familiar disposable, at that. She nearly kicked her foot out like a knee-jerk reaction when she found that the fitting wasn’t over. Amy’s finger slipped between her thigh and elastic gathering around her diaper. She traced the holes and finally clasped her hands. “Oh my gosh…!” The woman sounded ready to squeal, but her joy was already at an impressive height. “I think it fits! It looks so good! Wait-wait! Emily? Can you stand? Please?” She reached out her hands and reluctantly Emily offered up hers to let them be had. Because Mommy said so. Mommy said to behave for all of this. But the gravity of what’d been done was different depending on the perspective. Something like this was the kind of solid and heavy boulder that’d sit in her mind for the whole day, if only that, leaving her to chip away at it little by little just to decompress. Yet Amy despite being the agent of Emily’s newfound embarrassment was still speaking and moving like greased lightning. Like nothing was different. But how could everything not be? Every motion the blushing girl made was more fuel for Amy to hold her hands to her cheeks, fawning, gushing, oo-ing and ah-ing all over. “Awh…! Yes! Yes! This is just how I pictured it!” Was she really in a diaper? Emily didn’t have the strength nor the will to look. With a heave-ho she was pulled up to a sitting position, then finally stood. It didn’t feel exactly like the diapers she wore, but the bulk factor was more or less the same. Softer, maybe, but just as oppressive and in the way. When it bunched between her legs there wasn’t the audible crinkle, save for a muffled one. “Oh– honey, come on, let’s go over to the mirror, okay?” Amy took a hold around Emily’s farthest shoulder and steered her to the one place she absolutely did not want to go. “W-wait– please…!” Emily shook her head, finally staring down their destination with the fear of God in her. She could feel what she was wearing, but again, seeing was believing, and she did not want to believe one bit. Not that in any way could Emily end up the way she did when she was only with Joyce. Diapers just didn’t happen unless it was with Joyce, so this couldn’t be real, but Amy was about to give her irrefutable evidence. So with a stroke of brilliance, Emily employed the strongest tactic she had. Amy had Joyce, Mommy, but Emily had something maybe just as great. Like flicking a switch, the world around her went black. “Okay…let’s stand right here…! Ah!” Amy squealed, “perfect! Emily! Look at how– huh?” She was there, but she wasn’t. Gone. Disappeared. Everything. She could hear her surroundings but not perceive them. Seeing is believing, and she could not see, therefore she could not believe. “Em, why are your eyes shut?” “P-please…please don’t make me look in the mirror…!” “What? Why?” Amy asked with concern. “Is everything okay?” “I…I don’t wanna wear one…not like this!” Emily sniffled. “Why not? Didn’t you say you were gonna try it on? Do you not want to anymore?” “Th-that’s…that was different…!” she whined with a sniffle. “I-I said I was gonna do it…but then…then Joyce made you!” Amy went silent for a moment, then asked in a clear voice, “...And that must have made you feel pretty uncomfortable, right?” “Yes!” Emily stressed, and her world became no less dark. “It’s…it’s different when somebody else does it…and…and I don’t like it!” “...Is it because you don’t like me?” The suggestion was enough to make the girl’s eyes widen with horror. She spun her head and looked up at Amy with a deep sense of regret. “N-no! I-I didn’t mean it like that…! I-I just…I…” She was what? Embarrassed? Nervous? Obviously, but what else? Scared. Fearful. Being like this was one of the single-handedly most vulnerable states Emily could find herself in. By now she knew how malleable she could be when she was treated like a kid. The diapers just did something at this point, because it affirmed and reinforced just about every tiny tweak or installment Joyce made to her brain, her body, and emotions. And she loved it. She loved all of it. That moment right then made it clear what she loved, and why she was so scared to accept any of it in a strange place without her significant other. Every wall imaginable inside her heart and mind crumbled whenever it was time. By the time Joyce had her up on the changing table she was nothing but soft putty ready to be played with. There was no need for an iron box to keep herself together, held together by chains and locks; only Joyce was supposed to have the key too. But with how Emily’s younger half was trying to feel right this very minute, she realized shockingly that duplicate keys apparently existed. What Joyce could do to her…could others as well? It suddenly became a terrifying thought of a world without Joyce. A time and a place where Emily could be convinced to feel like the small little girl she’d been trained to be, yet all without Joyce having any part in it. But it was Joyce that made her like this, not Emily! This was Joyce that made her like being a baby, right? It wasn’t herself that liked it! She liked it because Joyce liked it! So her body felt physically ill. Her stomach was turning over and over, trying to fight the endorphins and fuzzy feelings that were essentially pavloved into leaking into her brain right when the babying began. She wasn’t allowed to feel like this, which is why it made her restless because her body wouldn’t listen. It needs to be Joyce! It can’t be anyone else! It has to be Mommy…! “Emily? Honey, look in the mirror?” Amy calmly pointed, and as much as Emily didn’t want to, for some reason, she did turn her head. Slowly her eyes fell on the reflection and there she was. Emily, wearing a diaper. The upper half was hiding underneath her shirt, but not enough to see the rest of the button snaps where the wings of her diaper fell in place. It was a cacophony of colors. Her puffy crotch was a pleasing purple, followed by her yellow buttons, and red trims. It looked weird for a second, like it was the utmost ridiculous fashion statement. Because it was, and that was the point. But beyond that, it was her normal shirt, bare thighs, and socks that she came in. Right beside her, holding her by the shoulder was Amy, smiling simply. “You know what I see?” Amy squeezed the frightened girl’s shoulder. “What I see is a very brave girl who was nice enough to let me indulge myself. But I also see someone a little afraid with how they might be feeling?” she phrased it like a question, but even her guesses were dead-on like her sense of size. Tearily, Emily nodded. “But what I also see is just Emily. Emily, the same gal that came over to my house today to hang out, help me with my work, and be a really good friend. You see her too, right?” See…herself? She…she saw the diaper. The flustered and embarrassed girl. The worried look on her face that just wanted Mommy, and so much more. But…maybe somewhere…was Emily, Emily Sen there too? “I-...” Emily started, but her soft voice trembled. “Take your time, it’s okay!” Amy comforted her. “I-I…I don’t wanna feel like this…n-not unless it’s with Joyce…!” “And why’s that?” “B-because…!” Emily balled her hands by her sides. “J-Joyce is why I’m like this! She made me like this! I-I…I wouldn’t do any of this if she didn’t start it…! And I do like it! B-but…! She’s the reason! S-so…so I can’t do it without her! It’s not fair!” “So the way she makes you feel…that’s how you’re feeling right now?” It wasn’t love that she was feeling. She loved Joyce. Loved-loved. Romantically, intimately, and innocently all the same like a child loved their mother. But she didn’t love Amy. Not like that. There was no romance, and that was clear. They were friends and that was as far as it went. But the babyish sensations and headspace…it made the poor girl exhausted with each second trying to reject what by now felt so instinctual…! “Yes…!” Emily cried, wiping her eyes. Was this what cheating felt like? Was she cheating on Joyce? “I’m…I’m cheating on her…!” Emily bawled. “Awh…honey…” And despite her cries, Amy hugged her even tighter. “Sweetheart, it’s not cheating? You’re not, I promise!” “H-how though…! I-I’m doing what Joyce and I always do!” “But honey, she gave us permission, remember?” “B-but…! But that’s…!” she breathed uncomfortably. “Emily, I’m absolutely sure that this is something special to you, because I know it sure is for Joyce. It’s okay if you’re nervous about feeling this way without her, but you gotta know that it’s not bad to feel like this?” How could it not be bad? She felt guilty, did she not? Wasn’t that more than enough reason? Joyce got jealous all the time, and she must have been fuming right this very minute! Wasn’t she upset on the phone? Angry? Were they going to fight when they went home? Was Joyce going to even take her back? “Honey, Emily? Look at me,” and with some steering via her chin, Emily did. “Loving Joyce, and…being a baby; those are two separate things. Joyce isn’t mad, and you shouldn’t feel guilty.” “B-but…! But Joyce…!” Emily whined like saying it again somehow made a difference. “She’s…she’s…!” Christ, why couldn’t she think of any other way to explain it?! “Sh-she’s my mommy!” “I…” Amy hung her words, freezing for just half a second, but holding herself together far better than Emily was right then. Either way, the woman was becoming fully aware of just what kind of box she’d opened. “I know, hon… I’m not replacing Joyce, okay? I’m not replacing Mommy. Just…think of it like this, okay? Joyce is Mommy, right? So…I’m Mommy’s friend, right? I’m just Auntie Amy. Yeah! I’m allowed to take care of you while Mommy’s at work, right? She said I could, didn’t she?” That she did, and bombshell after bombshell kept hitting the frightened girl. Amy said it herself: she wasn’t replacing Joyce. Babying was separate from loving Joyce. Cheating was loving someone else, but that wasn’t this. It was just babying, but with another person. Not a complete stranger, but someone between Joyce and Emily, and someone that Joyce trusted enough to tell Emily to behave for her. Auntie… She was Amy. Auntie Amy, and not Mommy. It was difficult to digest, all because it meant going off the good faith of a person holding all the cards. “Oh– I see those tears drying up?” And before Emily could feel herself, Amy’s fingers brushed the last few specks of wetness on her cheeks. “Emily, another thing,” Amy started in a soothing voice, “If Joyce was okay enough to let me do with you what she does, don’t you think that she would rather you feel the same way when it’s with her? Joyce can be…competitive,” Amy giggled for a second, “but you are the last, no– not even someone she would ever even consider trying to hurt. She wouldn’t want to see you feeling like this, sweetheart. I won’t pretend like I know her reasons, and you’re gonna get to hear them from her, but you should know that none of this was ever to make you feel upset?” And whenever Emily got carried away by her emotions or feelings, she quite never had the mental capacity to consider what felt so obvious. Joyce never intentionally tried to hurt her. It was always from a place of good intentions, no matter what the outcome was. So…she was supposed to feel okay with this? She was allowed to? “B-but…sh-she sounded mad on the phone…!” Emily’s voice went thick, near ready to cry again. “Because it sounds like she had some big feelings to go through herself, but that doesn’t have anything to do with you, hon. Joyce still loves you, and nothing’s changed. Give it just a couple more hours and she’s gonna be here to pick you up, okay?” “I-I…I wanna call her…” Emily squeaked. “Yeah?” Amy nodded softly. “Okay, let’s give her a call. Why don’t we head upstairs though? It’s a bit cleaner up there!” Amy’s hold on Emily wasn’t let go the whole trip up the stairs, and the silent spectator to the entire event was quietly following behind them, one paw at a time. “You just have a seat…right here,” Amy sat Emily on the bigger couch where Ashes pounced up right beside her, brushing against her naked leg. “He makes me feel better whenever I pet him,” Amy suggested, pointing at her friend which Emily couldn’t help but smile at. “W-wait…” Emily looked around with worry, like the weight of the world was coming down on her all over again. “I-I forgot my phone…” “Nope! Nuh-uh,” Amy softly refused and planted her right back on the cushion she sat. “You can use my phone. Just sit and relax, okay?” Amy pulled hers from her pocket, pressed a few things on the screen and shortly thereafter had it in Emily’s hands, soon to be cradled against her ear. Is…is she gonna pick up? A horrible worry made her heart ache, suddenly wishing she wasn’t using both hands to hold the phone, just so she could pet the cat for comfort. “Hello? Amy?” But there Joyce’s digital voice was in a hushed whisper. “J-Joyce?” Emily stammered, already feeling the waterworks ready to burst again. “Emily? Honey? Is everything okay?” More urgency, more concern. Like she always had whenever Emily got like this. Like things were still the same between them. The hiccups started and now the tears were free-flowing. “A-are…a-are y-you…nn…not mad at m-me?” “Em–...one second, okay?” On the other end, in a very tall building, in a room filled with blazers, blouses, glasses of water and secretaries, Joyce stood from the table. She wasn’t noticed however, courtesy of the darkness that allowed the projector facing the other wall to flourish. But of course her secretary noticed. “I need to excuse myself,” Joyce whispered into Sheila’s ear, and the tone implied no room for negotiation. So Sheila nodded, and Joyce quietly removed herself. The hallway was busy so she walked right down to the adjacent and empty conference room. After the soft click of a heavy door, she asked, “Baby, you still there?” “Mm-mmhmm…” “Sweetheart, why are you crying?” Joyce sat against the table. Her heart was already a mess after the first phone call, and now this? “I-I’m sorry I asked to wear one…!” “Sorry? Wearing what, a diaper?” “Y-yes…!” Emily poured out with a crying wail. “Wh…why are you sorry, sweetie?” “Because…! I-I made you mad…! W-we have rules, and…and I tried breaking them…!” “Emily, baby, I’m not mad!” Joyce softly assured, and the fact all she could do was offer her words and nothing more only heightened the frustration with herself. “You didn’t try to break any rule! Did Amy put a diaper on you?” “Y-yes… I’m sorry! I’m so sorry…!” “Don’t apologize! It’s nothing to be sorry for…!” “B-but I cheated…!” “Cheated?” Romantically? With Amy? Her impulsive self was triggered for just a second, but then she tried to imagine it. Cute little Emily, getting frisky with Joyce’s friend that was given the opportunity to diaper her? Her baby getting involved romantically? Needless to say, the image hardly fit in Joyce’s mind, despite her unbelievable jealousy. “Emily, sweetheart? You didn’t cheat, though?” “B-but I wore one without you…!” Her heart was cracking. Is that how it felt for her? “Emily, baby, it’s not cheating, I promise you. I’m not mad, and I love you just as much, okay? You didn’t do anything that made me mad or upset.” She could admit to her own faults of admittedly being that way at first, but she dared not mention something Emily would undoubtedly try to shoulder the blame for. “B-but…” “But nothing,” Joyce refuted, and Emily could practically hear the smile in her voice. “You enjoy yourself, Emily. Today’s a fun day, remember? I asked Amy to do what she did because I love you, and I still do. You know, if you’re gonna call me like this in tears it’s just gonna make Mommy love you even more?” And Joyce called herself Mommy, and that didn’t go unnoticed by the sobbing girl. Mommy. Joyce was still Mommy, and Joyce was Joyce. She was loved and nothing had changed. Was this really all just in her head? Were things really okay? “It’s just a little bit longer until I’m out of work, okay?” Joyce softly explained. “The first thing I’m doing when I leave here is I’m gonna drive right over there, and give you the biggest hug and kiss you’ve ever gotten, understood?” “Mm…mhm…” “Does that clear things up a little? You know I love you, right?” “I love you too…” Emily whimpered back. “And I know you do,” Joyce chuckled. “I know it must be scary right now…but I’m so proud of you, Emily. I want you to feel comfortable being yourself and enjoying all the things we do whenever you want. I…it’s too much for right now, but what you asked to do, and what I decided because of it…it’s what I wanted. It’s what I wanted, but I was too afraid to ask. You make me so happy, Emily, and there’s nothing you could do to change that.” “Uh…uh-huh…!” “And those better be happy tears I’m hearing!” Joyce giggled, wiping a silent tear of her own. “Are you okay now? Do you think you can tough it out for a little bit longer?” “Mm…mhmm…” “Good. Now, can you do me an extra big favor?” “Yeah…?” “Can you please put Amy on the phone for me?” “Mhm…I…I love you.” “And I love you so much too.” The phone slowly left her ear, and Emily departed from a conversation she didn’t want to end. She already missed the sound of her voice, but parental orders superseded her own emotions as she shakily held up the phone to Amy. Amy took it with a smile and held the phone with one hand to her ear. “Hey Joyce!” “Is Emily listening?” “One sec,” Amy paused, definitely noticing the curious girl on the couch. She grabbed the TV remote and brought the screen to life, quietly pointing Emily at the screen, then she left for the farther end of the apartment. “Okay, just us.” “What happened? Did everything go alright?” Now without the need to a big and strong front, the woman’s worries were out on full display. “As well as it could…” Amy spoke awkwardly. “I’ll be honest; I knew this meant a lot to you both, but I guess I didn’t fully realize that until, well…she started crying.” “Is she mad at you?” “No, not that I think, at least. I…admittedly, was a little excited… But I think she thinks she messed up, Joyce. Like she did something she wasn’t supposed to. But I did try telling her that what this is and your relationship are separate things.” Joyce sighed. “They are…” but they aren’t. “I knew this would be tough, but…that doesn’t make it feel any easier… A-Amy…I’m sorry, I…I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable, did I?” “You gave me a choice, didn’t you? Like I said to Emily: I don’t quite fully get it, but…I know enough that there’s things I like about it too, so…I guess being included some way…it felt…kind of nice, I guess.” It went the same way for Amy. Without a subjective child in earshot, it somehow made it easier to be more expressive. “I…I liked it.” “I’m glad…” Joyce sighed, then had a silent doubletake. What did she just say? She’s glad? “I-I mean…I’m glad that…it didn’t make you feel uncomfortable… Wait– what did you even put her in? What did you make?” “Didn’t I say it’s-a secret?” Amy finally teased. “Amy?” “Ou,” Amy’s joking fizzled out. “Okay, okay. I made her a cloth diaper. Something Idunno…just felt like doing.” “So she really is diapered right now?” “Mhm,” Amy nodded to herself. “And she hasn’t tried taking it off?” “None that I can tell.” “And…she didn’t say anything? Like…anything strange?” Amy hung her head. “Strange? Like…?” “Like…” Joyce frowned. It was easily her least favorite and most hated, but necessary evil. “Like a safeword…” Amy blinked. “Oh. Oh! No, nope. Nothing that I could tell. She did say a lot about how she didn’t want to or felt embarrassed after the fact, but…she never did say anything out of the blue.” So she really did go through all of it…without any hard or immovable issue… Another relieved sigh from Joyce. “Okay…good.” “And Joyce, believe me, I’m doing everything I can to make her feel comfortable, but what if I give her a breather? Take off the diaper maybe?” “...No. If she isn’t trying to get out of it, I want her to stay in one.” “And…you’re sure?” Amy asked skeptically. “It…What we do, Amy…it’s not meant to be a game, and Emily knows that.” There unfortunately wasn’t much time right then to talk. “We’re both committed in our own way… So when she’s in a diaper, she stays in one. And…whatever happens,” which as the past would indicate could certainly be a lot, “it’s only a couple more hours.” “Okay, Mommy, but don’t take too long,” Amy chuckled, and Joyce all by her lonesome was blushing with a quivering mouth. “Joyce,” she giggled, knowing exactly from the silence what she may have looked like right then, “she just called you that on the phone in front of me? That’s not including the few times she already used it with me a little bit ago.” “Sh-she called me that in front of you?” Joyce’s heart did a somersault, but the point still stood. Emily openly acknowledged her as Mommy? In front of other people? And she wasn’t there to hear it? Her heart melted as did her annoyance flare. “And sorry in advance, but in trying to calm her down, I may have appointed myself the Auntie position…” “What?” Joyce sounded confused, “Al…alright,” she dismissed the confusing subject. “Listen, what’s she doing now?” “Watching TV. Didn’t want her eavesdropping just in case.” “Is there a bed she could use? Or the couch?” “I can make that happen, yeah. Why?” “She needs a nap,” Joyce decided right there and then. “And if I’m lucky she’ll be ready to get up by the time I’m there. I think that’ll help her calm down the most…” “Yeah, I can do that. Er…should I say that you told her to have one, though?” “No,” Joyce sounded quite clear. “Don’t use the ‘n’ word around her. Just…can you think of some way to do it?” “Have her take a nap without suggesting she take one? What a tricky request.” “Please?” “I’ll get it done,” Amy laughed confidently. “Any last words I should give her?” “Yes. Please tell her how much I love her…” “Can do! Now go finish up work, Mommy!” Amy laughed, and Joyce silently hung up. “Okay…” Amy puffed out her cheek, putting away her phone. “Nap time… Nap time…” she looked around, then finally landed her eyes on a bedroom door. “Blanket.” And she disappeared from the main room, gathering what she needed, all the while reflecting on everything that had happened thus far. Why was she going to such lengths? She wasn’t even being paid. In fact, she was the one paying Emily, the girl she was somehow about to convince to take a nap without making it explicit. She made a diaper of her own volition, and even put the very girl that it was meant for into one. Then she held and consoled her; said anything she could just to keep her from crying. And even labeled herself as an authority figure. Auntie Amy… “An aunt, huh…” Amy murmured to herself, arms filled with a pillow and blanket. An aunt. Auntie Amy… “Emily?” Amy sauntered back into the living room. “Kinda chilly in here, right? How about a blanket to warm up a little, huh?” It was on rare occasions, almost never when Joyce, Ms. Summers was the first one to announce their leave. “Sheila, I’ve wrapped up what I needed to. I’ll be heading out first.” Sheila blinked, far more accustomed to being the one to collect her boss first. “Okay. If it wouldn’t be an issue, looking at the briefings scheduled for tomorrow right now might–” “I’ve finished my work,” Joyce repeated, but quite more firmly, shushing her secretary into a silence. Her tone had not gone unnoticed, and finally Sheila nodded simply. “Good work today. I’ll leave those things on your desk for tomorrow.” “Thank you.” And Ms. Summers was gone. Her heels didn’t give her the opportunity to sprint, so she race-walked across the parking garage, beelining for her car and skirting just under the speed limit where traffic didn’t intervene, going as fast as she could to the one who needed her the most. Was she asleep? Napping? Did she cry at all any more after their phone call? So many questions, so few answers, and Joyce wanted to know the truth about everything so dearly and so badly. It didn’t take long to park, and not much longer to race through the empty front of the store and back through the showcase room. Things looked somewhat tidy, but she noticed the displaced coffee table and giant cloth rug. A cushion was missing from the couch and laying on the floor, and sure enough, Joyce spotted an article she recognized. She walked around and over to the items, picking them up and holding them in her hands. Emily’s pants, no doubt, and sitting inside them was also a familiar cyan pair of panties. After neatly folding them she walked up the stairs. She softly knocked on the door, and a few seconds later Amy answered. “Hey Joyce!” Amy greeted her quietly, “Come on in–!” “Where’s Emily?” Joyce spoke in a normal volume, but Amy quickly shushed her. “Shh! She’s right here!” Amy whispered, pulling the surprised woman by the hand and leading her inside. Round around the corner, there she was. An all too familiar black head of hair, cutely disarrayed by her head against a plush-looking pillow. She was against the arm of the long couch, covered by a blanket where she slumbered so soundly. So she really did go to sleep, and for that, Joyce was relieved. “You convinced her?” Joyce whispered, only barely taking her eyes off the angel. Amy looked unimpressed. “I tricked her. What, did you put some bad blood between her and early bedtimes, or something?” “She did it herself… It’s my job to make her do the things that she doesn’t want to. Was…was she good?” It felt inappropriate to ask, at first, but considering how much Amy had already done, was it not a fair question? “Mm…” Amy sagely nodded, right by Joyce’s side, watching Emily the same way she did. But suddenly Joyce noticed something, and Amy was already smirking. “Wait, is that…?” “Ya-huh,” Amy nodded. “Hang on…” Joyce mumbled, fumbling quickly with her purse. Where was her phone…?! “I charge, you know?” Amy joked. “Charge as much as you want…” Joyce couldn’t hide her smile as she aimed her camera. And while there was no one to say ‘cheese’, it didn’t stop Joyce from going, “one…two…three!” And like that another memory was immortalized and recorded. Joyce looked ready to gush as she was absolutely enamored by the picture on her phone, just peeking over it to see the real deal all over again. Hiding right beneath her short black hair was another mass of black, just as soft-looking and cuddly, only belonging to someone else. Sleeping just as soundly, save for the quiet purrs, was Ashes, right against Emily’s head and neck, halfway underneath the blanket. “Look at our two babies!” Amy giggled, and Joyce couldn’t help but smile herself. “Wanna get her up?” And while Joyce had one answer, just as she was about to give it, she hesitated. “Actually…do you want to do some coffee first? Would you mind making some?” “Should I get a cup ready for Emily?” Amy was already walking into the kitchen. “No…not yet. Was there any juice left in her thermos?” After a quick shake from it in the fridge, “Yeah, still some in here.” “Then she’ll be fine,” Joyce decided. “And…how much did you plan on paying her?” “Not a lot a lot, but I kept track of the hours…” Amy pondered, then noticed Joyce. “W-wait, Joyce, what’re you…?” “For everything today,” Joyce offered a small amount of bills on the counter. Clearly and honestly, she said, “Thank you.” “I…get the feeling you don’t know how this quite works…” Amy smirked, eyeing the money suspiciously. “I pay Emily. You don’t pay me anything?” “Amy, stop,” Joyce took on a serious look. “You’ve done a lot…this obviously isn’t the same as her working for you.” “Maybe, but she did work for me. And all this?” she glanced over at Emily. “It…” her expression grew softer. “It wasn’t work… So, no,” she gently pushed the money back. “I didn’t do this to be paid.” “Amy, but–?” Joyce sounded confused, but Amy continued the conversation in their lowered voices. “But nothing. Do I really have to spell it out? I…I liked it,” Amy admitted, but immediately turned her head the other way. “Gosh, even I can get embarrassed sometimes, you know?” “You…liked it?” Joyce blinked, sounding stunned. “What would you have done if I didn’t?” Amy taunted. “Yes, I did. I don’t know…once you offered me that choice on the phone, yeah, I was surprised, and maybe it was a little weird, but… I dunno…it just…clicked.” As happy and go-lucky as Amy could be, even she had places in her mind and emotions even she didn’t fully know, and her visible discomfort right then was a testament to that. Her playful way of lashing out was just to hide something deeper. Yet being hired as a designer for baby clothes, involving herself so deeply with befriending clients, seeing the beautiful baby herself model them, and lastly being given the chance to snap her into one of her own creations… “I would’ve liked an apology if I was against all of this,” Amy was clear, but again, her look started to falter and her hands held her elbows. “But here I am…somehow glad I could get your girlfriend to sleep…” Joyce listened silently in awe, unsure of what to say. “No? Nothing?” Amy asked expectantly. “I-I…” Joyce blinked. “Sorry…I’m just…surprised, I guess… I’m sorry.” “Did Emily learn to say sorry so much from you?” Amy sounded cheeky again. “Don’t be sorry. Just…I hope she doesn’t hold any of this against me.” “She won’t,” Joyce sounded adamant, and that truly did make some of the tension subside from the seamstress, even if she didn’t know she had it to begin with. “No matter what I say, Amy, it doesn’t change that you got this far with Emily… She really does trust you…” and the words came off on an almost somber note. “And that bothers you?” Amy asked, but she didn’t sound offended, but like the inquisitive friend she’d been for so long that just took Joyce even longer to realize. With a guilty look Joyce stared down at the counter, then up at Amy. “It did…for a few seconds… I can’t help but get jealous, but I’m not anymore. Not in the slightest about this. I know you wouldn’t try anything, and Emily wouldn’t either, but I can’t help feeling that way at first. I’m just…protective.” “Mmm,” Amy nodded. “Can’t say Emily’s my type. I guess I like mine a little taller, more muscle…no diapers?” Joyce raised a brow and Amy giggled. “Though, I guess as a kind of impromptu niece, she’s exactly my kinda type. I get to say that, right? Even if I don’t know why?” “Have you felt like this before…?” Joyce asked. “No, not really,” she shrugged, and pulled out the pot of hot coffee. “Not until after today…or I guess, maybe since I started working on her outfits, I got more curious. Call each extra step another ounce of curiosity, until…well, today.” Joyce nodded, accepting a warm mug for her hands to hold. “I don’t know if we feel the same, but…it feels good, right?” “It does,” Amy quietly agreed and nodded. “I don’t have even half the experience as you though, and I basically just got my foot through the front door on…all this weird stuff, but yeah, after today, I felt good. I…maybe I was doing things already, I don’t know. Taking off her jacket…helping put together her lunch…and…when…you asked me to do what…you know. I really got her to open up to me, and I can’t describe how good that felt, and I don’t know why.” “I’m sorry…” Joyce said again, and Amy rolled her eyes. “Didn’t I say to stop that?” “I’m sorry for involving you like this,” Joyce repeated, only with more clarity. “I involved you. Selfishly. This was for Emily. I…I’ve wanted her to get used to this. Eventually…involving diapers and this kind of treatment around other people. I…I used you to help Emily feel more comfortable with others treating her like a baby.” There was silence, save for Ashes very distant and quiet slumbering purring. “I know.” Amy answered simply, and Joyce’s mouth hung agape. “Y-you knew?” “Obviously. Joyce, I can tell how much Emily matters to you? How long has she been in your life now? Besides, call me selfish too, because I actually decided to listen to you and use your authority against Emily. I’m just as bad as you are.” “To make her behave…?” “To try and calm her down. If Mommy said so, then she has to behave. Don’t think that I liked doing that,” Amy partially frowned before sipping from her mug. “...I won’t put you through that again.” “I…I didn’t know if it was ‘okay’ to do, but I just did it anyway,” Amy muttered. “Is that what I’m supposed to do with her? Hold your name over her head like it’s some kind of end-all be-all?” “As a last resort, yes. But up until that point, no. Thank you for today… I won’t do that to you again.” Joyce offered a weak smile. “...Well…” Amy turned her head to avoid eye contact. Joyce raised her head in surprise. “I said I liked today, didn’t I?” “But…” “If…if it’s possible…and Emily is okay with it…again. I-...I want to do this again. The right way, and not start so…awkwardly.” “Amy…are you serious?” “Yes, I’m serious,” Amy answered, trying to wipe the small blush off her face. “It’s not like I’m going to stop making clothes for her, and I still want to be…involved. And fine, let’s call it what it is at this point: babysitting. Let me give it another shot…” “Bab–...A-Amy, that’s…you realize what that means, right?” “Yes, I do. Or, at least I think I do… What, just keep her busy, right? Come over, play a little, chit-chat, lunch?” She turned her head for a live example. “Naps? Can I have her still try some things on for me? Like, adult clothes? I could still use her help with that. But that’s all there is to it, right? I…I know I’m making it sound like a chore, but…ugh, yes, I want to do this again, but better, okay? I just want to see how I feel about it…” Today was just a tiny sliver, and like it was the forbidden fruit itself, Amy’s greed and gluttony simply wanted a greater taste. “But you know that she wears…diapers?” Joyce cautiously asked, and Amy herself paused for a moment. “So she does use them…” Amy concluded, exhaling with a nod. “That’s…okay. I…think. I can get used to that. Sure.” And Amy despite her bravery left Joyce giving her a slightly skeptical look. Quite frankly, it wasn’t much of something that one decided comfortability with in just a single moment. “Well…” Amy openly second-guessed herself, “maybe if I had an example…” Joyce quietly nodded. An example… “So will you bring it up to her?” Amy asked. “...Babysitting?” The intent was clear in her voice, and the desire was shining in her eyes. Amy’s thumbs were still sickeningly green, and she had merely only watched from the other side of the fence for so long. But Joyce could see it right away. Maybe it was only a fraction of herself, or still certainly a greater part, but it was clear nonetheless. The want to be in. The desire to partake and contribute. All this time Joyce had toyed with the idea of growing and expanding their circle. Safely and securely, somehow, and all of that on top of the impossible reality where Emily became comfortable with any of that. Yet the more she thought, the more the desires and wishes started to overflow, right up until she was in that convention in another state. She really did confront her selfish wishes and was scared because of it. And right now, leaning against the countertop and staring at her from the other side of the island was that very second chance. A golden goose that Joyce couldn’t have imagined as a better fit. Someone just as open-minded and self-electing. Maybe people just like or similar to Joyce really did exist. Maybe…maybe Isabelle was being honest? If Amy was genuine, what’s to say there weren’t others like her. Sh…a-and Sheila…? Emily opened a door, and Joyce found the key leading to one even bigger than that. Monumental in size, and hiding away a path and place that seemed frighteningly exciting. She saw Amy briefly glance over where Emily lay, eliciting a tiny smile from the woman, and it was another wonderful jolt for the woman sitting in her chair, leaving Joyce quietly astonished. A doorway… No, a gateway. A pathway so great, it wasn’t big enough just for two people now. So…so much bigger. So much… In the span of one morning and early afternoon, Joyce’s worldview, feelings, wants and wishes had been changed entirely. Fantasy farther away that hid in the void and recesses of her mind were suddenly being tugged forward, and phantom echoes of silly thoughts and dreams started to sharpen as tangibility took away their fuzzy shapes. She could see it. A miraculous, exciting future; one that she wanted so dearly with Emily, and one that she now knew was completely and totally possible. “Auntie…” Joyce quietly muttered, but loud enough for Amy to hear. “It– I just said it to help her calm down…” Amy mumbled with a flustered look. “I don’t even know if it worked… Joyce?” But Joyce didn’t answer. Her cheeks were rosy and her teeth were on full display as a smile grew in size on her face. “S-sorry,” Joyce chuckled, snapping out of it. “Would you mind getting that thermos out, actually?” she looked fondly over at the couch. “I think it’s time for someone to finish their nap…!”

Apologies for the wait! It should be back to a regular release schedule now, but if you're ever itching for more you can find 13 more chapters to read! Thank you for reading! Yeah, me too. Thank you for the kind words. And thank you very much! I tend to keep on finding fault with my work and ways I can improve, but I am proud of at least doing this for so long now. Thank you very much!

It's a little bit of both; predominantly lovers dictated by a kink, I'd say right now. While there is attraction to one another, unless I'm forgetting something definitive that I've brought up before, I'm not necessarily trying to label the two as anything other than what the reader interprets it as right now. As far as writing anything explicit in this story, nothing is certain, but I don't have plans for that between these two characters, as I want to emphasize their love for each other in different ways. Hope that gives some insight. Thank you for reading! Seeing the circle expand a little would definitely be fun, and I'm sure that Emily could come around to the idea of involving others, as far off as that might sound... Thank you for reading!

Thank you for the kind words! I'm happy to share again, and apologies for the delay! Nope. I hadn't made a post in at least a handful of days. It is what it is and I'm just moving on/rebuilding. Or from a different perspective, I'm not trying to think too much on it because I don't think I'll find a meaningful answer, if at all, nor will it affect me moving forward. Not much to say other than that. Best of luck!

Please Read this before reading that! Hi everyone! This has been a busy year for me that's led to a lot of inactivity as far as the DD board goes. I've been neglecting a public release schedule that I've promised before, and I plan on making good on that now. I'm sure many of you have heard about many creators from this community losing their Patreons, and I wasn't an exception. The situation sucks, but I'm working on putting things back together. That includes a new Subscribestar which is live now with all the latest chapters of Sheltered and Illegal Immigrant. Slowly moving forward I'll be reuploading previously lost content and stories alongside new stuff that will be coming in more regularly. If you are a previous patron and want to know where I am now, that's where I'll be! There is a public post on that page which goes into a little more detail about everything and my plans moving forward, but regarding here on the board, I'm planning to return to a regular release schedule. With that included, I have Patreon stories that I've featured on here in an incomplete state; I'll be trying to find those and post the remaining halves since it has been quite some time now. But for starters, please enjoy two chapters from Sheltered and Illegal Immigrant. I never imagined myself reaching quite this point as being a creative with diaper stuff, but to everyone that reads or plays my stuff and in some way is entertained by it, has thoughtful feedback, comments or considerations, thank you! Maybe in a way this reset will get me back into some better habits. As per usual, please stay tuned, and consider dropping by the Subscribestar! Thank you! Also, I'm making space for some short-story commissions at $15/1000words (10k words or less) if you're interested! For those who have discussed and we've agreed upon commissions prior, yours will not be affected. Admittedly this is a way to recoup missed opportunities given the circumstances. But aside from all that, please read and enjoy! 19 - Jumping Around “Okay…” Dayna started from her rocking chair, postured like a queen before her masses, all condemned to diapers, bottles and sippy cups whilst she delivered her royal decree. Dawn listened to each and every familiar noise, though. The laminate skin covering the book as it slightly crinkled from opening the book; a much more nostalgic noise than the kind of crinkling she was hearing from her neighbors practically every two seconds. The sound of a flipping page as the air caught underneath it was pushed and moved. It looked and sounded certainly like a real book. Maybe if she closed her eyes, she could disillusion herself into thinking that it was a normal book. But imagining things was hard when reality kept knocking on the doorstep to her brain. The side of someone’s hand right next to her gently pressed against her temple as a not so quiet whisper was funneled into her ear. “I really like froggies!” Kailey, the Little right next to Dawn admitted in a not so secret whisper, giggling, even. And Dawn, too kind to kick a disenfranchised Little while they were still eternally down, offered a weak smile and nodded. “That’s…cool.” It was a small gesture, but it made the girl shiver with excitement like she’d just formed an unbreakable bond with a new best friend. Dawn nearly tipped over to her side once Kailey nudged just a bit closer. Their hips were full on touching now, and the final adult of the two was trying to ignore whatever friendly actions she was trying to take. Even acknowledging Kailey was apparently enough to send the wrong signals, and yet flat out rejecting her felt horribly wrong. “Dawn…?” A voice above the book in an actual quiet voice edged, and Dawn’s eyes drooped, seeing that it was Dayna addressing her. “I want to see that juice gone by the end of this story, okay?” “I’ll finish it when I do…” Dawn quietly seethed, but just to get the Amazon off her back, she reluctantly lifted the bottle, turning her head away from the crowd just to sneak a suck. “Okay, kids?” Dayna addressed everyone this time, trying to get back the oddly short attention spans from all the former adults sitting in attendance. “Are we ready for a story?” “Yeessss!” all but Dawn cheered back in mismatching unison. “Then let’s all be good boys and girls and be good listeners, okay?” Dayna asked clearly and carefully again, perching her hands on either end of the book. “Okayyy!” Another response from the hive mind, and it only brought a toothy smile to the Amazon’s face. “Okay…!” Dayna, the woman a day away from vacation, chuckled. Dawn cringed the moment she stared up at the woman, ordering and bossing her around. The eyes, the smile. The easy going attitude she had despite it being just another weekday of work. What did a little bit of trouble matter at a shift of work if it meant having a whole week– no, two? A holiday or a vacation right after? It suddenly made the day-to-day so easy and doable just from knowing that nothing but freedom and relaxation came right after it. That was the problem, though. Dawn got it. She understood it. Staring up at the Amazon, for once a sickly feeling of empathy stabbed her like an invasive needle. It made her grimace, turning away for another swig of her bottle of juice. It made her feel weak. Incompetent. Disenfranchised and debilitated, sitting in a diaper at a storytime circle while the “adult” in the room told her how to act and behave. Dayna got to be the king of the castle and was free after today. She was her own person, and right now that was so much more than Dawn could speak to. The only thing that slightly tugged her out of her mental misery right then was Dayna interrupting her thoughts with a beginning narrative. “There once was a pretty little pond hiding away in a big green and lush forest! Snails, beetles, fish, dragonflies, and of course,” she paused for just a brief moment, just to look right at Kailey whose knees were already quivering excitedly, “frogs!” While they were asked to be quiet, that didn’t mean Littles weren’t allowed to express emotion, hence why Kailey could giggle and bounce without reserve. “And in that pond…” Dayna went on, smiling over such an engrossed audience, “lived the bounciest, most jumpy frog there ever was; Jeremy!” “Can we see? Can we see?” Kailey was practically begging, bouncing on her bottom and soon enough getting the other Littles to join in. “You’ll all get to see, just be patient now!” Dayna laughed, and Dawn couldn’t look more disinterested. Nevertheless, she watched the Amazon turn around the large and wide story book, holding it lower to the ground to showcase the illustrations that she was privy to first. It was a print of a watercolor painting of a pond inhabited by all its usual fauna and foliage. Fish were swimming, birds were chirping, ducks looked like they were quacking, and so forth. But of course they weren’t the realest depictions of their counterparts. Rather, the illustrator must have decided beaks and bills could curve enough just to smile, and all eyes had pupils like people. The showcase was long and slow, starting on one end of the crowd, slowly panning to the other end where Dawn was sitting. Heads and faces were turning and poking out just to watch the still image for as long as possible, leading to Kailey’s head and hair knocking against Dawn who was trying not to bother looking. But of course, Dayna stopped right when it reached Dawn. “Dawn, sweetie? Don’t you wanna see the pictures?” “I saw it a second ago.” Dawn answered right back, looking squarely up at Dayna, specifically avoiding the book. “No you didn’t!” Joe Schmoe, the adult in diapers down the aisle, loudly accused her. “I saw!” he announced again that he saw what he didn’t see. “She didn’t look!” “Liam?” Dayna butted in with a slightly stern voice, “We don’t point at others.” “But she didn’t…!” he whined right back, like it somehow mattered. “And that’s okay,” Dayna said calmly right back. Apparently now she was an advocate for Dawn which rubbed her the wrong way. A bitch was a bitch if she kept being a witch. Kindness killed the momentum and muddied the waters, but Dawn was still quite certain that she didn’t like Dayna, just like every other Amazon, even if she kept bratty adults off her tail. “But Dawn,” Ah, thank goodness. It’s easy to hate her again. “It’s rude to turn your head when someone tries to show you something?” “--But you just said I didn’t have to?” Dawn blurted right back in an incredulous voice. “Yes I did, but that doesn’t mean you have permission to be rude,” Dayna scolded her, and Dawn was fighting back the urge to use a vile set of words. She had yet to say anything, but whatever story her face was telling, Dayna was picking up on it like blood in the water. “Dawn?” Dayna gave her a look, and Dawn was doing her best to internalize what was dying to burst out. Make good choices… Make stupid…fucking stupid good choices… Dawn exhaled instead of speaking, feeling all the eyes on her. The only reason she had no supporters nor opposition could have only been because of the Amazon sitting in the chair. Her words built a wall that kids were simply too trained, disciplined and scared to try climbing. The fact that her “peers” were victims to that same concept spoke volumes about how warped things were here. She lifted her knees, laying her arms on them and finally perching her chin on them. Putting on her best ‘I’m totally not pissy voice’, she said, “Okay. I’m looking.” Her eyes were certainly pointed at the pages. Her face was undeniably aimed at the thing that Dayna was holding. But that was it. She wasn’t “seeing” anything. Nothing more than red, and her imagination speculating all the cool and cunning things that she could have said or could have done. “Can we see the next page…?” Kailey asked Dayna in a shy voice, and whatever “smile” Dayna was giving Dawn, it looked a bit more genuine once the other Little was on the receiving end of it. “Not until we read it, silly!” And like that, the tension was cut and Dawn was freed from the magnifying glass. Thank God for Kailey’s curiosity. But either way, even if Dawn was calming down, her bladder certainly wasn’t. It was feeling fuller and she was becoming more squeamish with each second. Internally, of course. That didn’t stop her from glancing at all the other littles, wondering for just a second in morbid and fearful curiosity. Do they actually…use them? Willingly? They had to. It was a given. The looks on their faces, the way they acted…they were so…subdued. Like nothing bothers them. Like this was normal. All of this. The treatment, the talks. Their clothes, their circumstances and undeniable demise. But confronting that apparently didn’t matter. Not when they had stories being read to them. Not when they had stories, and not when Dawn had to stay under the radar that she was flying dangerously close to. Staring at her own personal demise, finally she lifted the bottle again, disappointing herself with the touch of a silicone nipple. “And Jeremy said to Mr. Birdy,” Dayna’s voice flipped from her narration to impersonation, and upped her pitch with a twinge of croak, “Why don’t you like to eat flies? They’re so yummy!” And while the crowd erupted into a fit of giggles and laughs, half of Dawn’s brain was trying to see the humor in something so simple while also trying to remain inconspicuous. She didn’t have much time, unfortunately. There wasn’t much to read on each page of the book, meaning they were fed quite often some sort of image to look at, just to tickle their curiosity into being excited for the next. Big moments in the story had more than just Kailey bouncing now and the Little Learners Corner sounded like it was experiencing a localized thunderstorm “Let us see!” “We wanna see!” “Please? Please?” They’d stick their heads out with pleading eyes just to be the first to see what Dayna had to show. Dawn wasn’t coincidentally looking away anymore, but she was maintaining her practice of seeing “through” whatever fiction was being advertised to her.. “Boys, hands to ourselves, please!” Dayna would remind them unfortunately often, which referred to every time they were putting their hands on the legs of their neighbor just to lean over for a view of the book for longer. “And then…splat! Splat! Splat!” Dayna’s voice popped with each audible sound effect, She showed the next image. Jeremy the frog demonstrated his culinary interests to his flying friend by feasting on the nearby flying insects with his super stretchy tongue. “That one’s my favorite!” Kailey declared, bold enough to make such a claim before the book was even half over. “No, the bird one was better!” Liam, the Little rediscovering a “phase” was busy with the ‘n’ word again. Both spoke of their opinions like they were facts, and in that simplified context, maybe they weren’t far off from being actual adults after all. And Kailey, a devout believer in the church of froggies shouted right back, “Nooo-uh! Frogs are better!” “No! Birds!” “Kids?” Dayna tried cutting in, and Dawn was seeing an opportunity. Subtly… Slowly… Finally she was feeling less of Kailey’s hip smooshed against hers as millimeter by millimeter she tried scooching across the carpet to a place where she could afford herself some privacy. Her time was limited as she could only keep her bladder calm for so long… In a wild turn of events, Kailey’s head spun on Dawn, far too fired up to notice the couple of inches that’d formed between them. “Dawn? Frogs are better, right?” She spoke like Dawn was a sister in arms ready to lay down her life for a greater cause. For the reputation of frogs that risked being removed from its pedestal by some annoying guy and his equally irrational and fanatical love for birds. “Kailey? Liam? It’s okay to like both, you know?” Dayna reminded, but the two seemed steadfast in their claims. Yes…just keep arguing over stupid stuff some more… Almost! Now it was Dawn’s turn to watch Dayna like a hawk. She scrutinized where she looked and where she didn’t. Kailey and Liam were stubbornly debating to a point that Dayna finally interrupted to scold them both, leaving the other poor Little out of a story on account of the selfishness of two others. Well, as Dawn finally leapt to her feet and scampered off to one of the bookshelves, she knew her time was limited, which is why she dropped to a squat, sighing as she tried to grunt and bear down what she wanted to stay inside of her. It was like running up against a wall, but it wasn’t strong when it was already cracked from having to sit still and keep on drinking juice. Finally a hot, uncomfortable spurt escaped her, and the stream started. It flowed and seeped, absorbing and soaking her underwear, if only for a brief moment. It was quick but that didn’t make it any more emotionally painless. She was peeing herself. Wetting. Just like every Amazon wanted. Just like fucking Dayna wanted…! She stood back up and felt her face quiver at the unusual warmth between her legs. She was wet, but she wasn’t. She couldn’t feel the liquid, but it’d been absorbed and wasn’t going anywhere. Not until she got an exact replacement for what she’d do the same exact thing in. It was an unfortunate inevitability. “Dawn?” And her time was up. “Honey? Where did you go?” “Is she playing hide and seek?” Kailey, innocent and clueless, asked loudly and curiously. “I’m here, I’m here,” Dawn quickly spoke up once she reappeared and tried playing it cool. “What?” “Dawn, the story isn’t over yet, honey? Come sit down,” Dayna beckoned her back on over, then noticed another thing. “Sweetie, why did you bring that book?” Holding an excuse in her hands, Dawn glanced down at it. “Oh. I wanted to read something, so I went and grabbed it.” “But we’re already reading something?” Dayna with her unending intellect countered her. “You can read that after. Come on back to the circle.” “But I finished my juice?” Dawn, picking up a bad habit, pointed at the empty bottle where she had been sitting. “So shouldn’t I be able to go read my own stuff now?” “Then we have to wipe your hands, sweetheart, so let’s wait until this story’s done so I can clean you up.” Clean up. What, did she roll through a mud puddle, or something? She certainly felt filthy given what the diaper she was wearing was like, but by Amazon standards she was probably as clean as a whistle. Well, save for her hands, if Dayna’s opinion was anything to go by. “Where are the wipes?” Dawn huffed, looking around for the dreaded diaper bag. “I’ll wipe my own hands…” But apparently Dayna wasn’t as cunning as she made herself out to be. Either that or she didn’t care to be particularly crafty. “Dawn, do I need to tell Mommy that you were misbehaving?” If she didn’t feel like playing a game to convince Dawn of what the right thing to do was, she needed only to hang a stupid, pointless threat over her head. She grit her teeth and they stared each other down for just a few seconds. Dawn opened her mouth and said, “Well, Dayna, I understand that it may seem like I’m misbehaving, but my Mommy wanted me to find a book on my own that I enjoyed? Unfortunately, I haven’t found the right book yet, so it’s really important I have some time to do that?” “And you’ll have plenty of time to find a story that you like,” Dayna answered dismissively. “Do I need to count? Sit back in the circle, please.” Count? A very frustrating memory resurfaced, and flashes of Katherine giving her the dreaded one-two-three which ultimately ended with her nose in the corner came back as well. An unbelievably unjust punishment that never survived the journey to a court of appeals that’d never support her cause. It was a debatable act of kindness, given how atrocious all these books were, but Dawn had enough grace to set the book back down without dropping it disrespectfully, ultimately walking back to the circle, choking down a pissy look and attitude. “Dawn…are you mad?” Kailey quietly whispered as the story continued. “No…I’m fine.” Dawn tried to dismiss her as best as she could. “...Okay…” And back to her thousand yard stare she went, feeling more and more disturbed the longer she had to sit with a warm pad pressing against her behind. On and one the story went. More and more pictures that Dawn pretended to see. She was quiet and emotionless, letting the time pass by as her brain starving for meaningful stimulation rotted away. And finally… “And Jeremy hopped back to his home in the pond, happy as could be!” Dayna declared, softly shutting the book. Finally…it’s over…. “Can we read another one?” The other boy who had yet to be openly named asked the question. And unfortunately his opinion wasn’t unpopular. “Yeah! I wanna read another!” “Can we? Please?!” The Littles were begging and Dawn was revolting. Another one? Another stupid, simple and dumb story that had nothing to teach other than what maybe lived in a pond? Kailey got her stupid high from hearing a book about frogs, so why did she need any more?! But before things could sway too much, Dawn quickly piped up. “Dayna? Can you wipe my hands first?” Dayna’s head swiveled and followed each person who had something to say, giving them the attention their words probably didn’t deserve, but she was impartial anyway. “Tell you what, we’ll read another one soon, okay? You all must be pretty thirsty, huh?” She stood from the rocking chair, dusting off her spotless skirt. “Why don’t we get you all something to drink for a little bit then we can choose another?” “Okayyy!” Dawn was the first of the Little few on her feet and tailed Dayna like a caboose over to the line of diaper bags on the book shelf. “Oops! Careful, Dawn!” Dayna chuckled as she turned, nearly colliding with the relatively tiny woman. “Coming through!” she walked ahead of her, baby bottles and sippy cups in hand. “Let’s see…this one is for Liam…” she muttered as she distributed, and Dawn impatiently waited for her to finish. But as she did so, Dawn noticed each trip to give something to a Little ended with circling right behind them. Peeling back pants or lifting the hem of a short dress. Padded rumps and plastic white flashed on each and every one of them as Dayna wordlessly administered a diaper check to each and every one of them. Not only that, but Dawn looked far from happy to see a bottle with an all too familiar juice inside of it. She was one Little away from supposedly being done, yet she had that bottle of juice and a sippy cup that she knew wasn’t hers. As ignorant as Dawn was to this world, she wasn’t foolish enough to not notice a deal that wasn’t being upheld. Not only that, but she was bound to be getting a diaper check, and that meant… “Dawn?” Dayna was already in front of her, holding out the bottle. “Wh…what? I’m full,” Dawn promptly refused and declined. “I don’t want any more juice.” This was somewhat true, actually. “But you may want it later?” Dayna tempted and deceptively omitted the consequences of taking such a thing. “Maybe later, but not now. Besides, you said you’d wipe my hands after the story so I can go read my own stuff?” “Sweetie, I promise there’s going to be time for that later?” Voila. The goalposts did in fact move. “I want to read books by myself. Now. You promised,” Dawn tried to reason, having nothing more than Dayna’s supposedly good word to fight against. Yet it all felt like a game that she was destined to lose. “Dawn…” Dayna’s patience was dwindling with each consonant as she crouched to her knees, holding out the bottle like a literal olive branch; one that was only a benefit to one party. “Take your juice.” But Dawn had been pushed enough. The consequences of telling Katherine exactly what happened were starting to bother her less and less now. If she was told exactly what happened, maybe, just maybe Katherine would be on her side, or at least incredibly lenient. Dayna wasn’t playing fair and she knew it, and therefore Dawn was undoubtedly in the right. “No.” “No?” Dayna repeated. “Do I need to count?” And feeling especially annoyed, Dawn fumed as passively as she could right back by spouting, “One. Two. Three. There, I counted for you. I said I didn’t want any juice, and I’m not listening to another story. I’m trying to be as nice as I can right now, but you’re making that pretty difficult…!” Her argument was a mix of reasoning and sass, and unfortunately just a drop of that was all she needed to spoil her entire case, assuming there would even be one without. Dayna’s eyes went wide with surprise, likely astounded that Dawn had the audacity to be so bold. “That is no way to talk to a grownup, young lady!” Sure enough, Dayna wasn’t happy. “Dawn, you march your bottom over here right this instant!” She wanted her within arms reach, and the implications of that made her shiver. “A…absolutely not,” Dawn muttered as she stepped back. “I-I made a fair point! You said I only had to listen to one story! If I take that juice I have to sit in that stupid circle again!” “We do not say ‘stupid’!” Dayna reprimanded. “Dawn, do I need to come over there, or are we going to be a good girl and do as we’re told?” “I’m doing exactly what you promised me! Waiting for my hands to be cleaned so I can read a book!” “Does this mean I’m going to have to tell your Mommy how you’ve been misbehaving for me?” There it was, her best weapon to “control” Dawn. But the novelty was gone and its excessive use dulled the edge it once had. Whether that meant Dawn was the idiot for no longer caring didn’t change what she was going to do. Constant exposure made her forget the fear, which is why she crossed her arms. “Yeah, I guess so.” There was a gasp, but neither from Dawn nor Dayna. Kailey, though, held her hands up to her mouth, watching with a sippy cup sneaked away in the crook of her arm, watching like it was a soap opera. “Kailey, sweetheart?” Dayna turned her head, back to a professional smile that Dawn was learning to be maybe not as sincere as she once originally thought. “Could you go play with Liam and Tommy, please? Dawn and I need to have a little chat.” A chat. Alone? With her? She spun her head, looking for a witness that wouldn’t be willing to disappear at just the beck and call of an Amazon, much less one with a nametag. But it was just them as Kailey quickly crinkled off. “Okay…I’ve tried being nice, young lady…” Dayna started as she started to stand. The moment she took her first towering, country-crossing step forward, Dawn worriedly blurted out, “I-I want Mommy!” Dayna froze, but only for a second. “Mommy’s not here right now. Does she need to know that you’ve been bratty for me this whole time?” “I…I don’t care! I want…I want Katherine!” It was an instinctual response that she was praying for like a get out of jail free card. Well, maybe not get out of jail, but escape whatever shit she’d just brewed with Dayna. But it wasn’t fair…! She did everything she was supposed to! Dawn quickly paced back, finally to the point that she was practically jogging down the aisles just to avoid Dayna. “Dawn, come here right this instant!” “No!” Dawn yelped back, occasionally weaving past the few Littles in the pen. Shit! Shit! Why was this happening? Was she going to be punished? Was a literal stranger going to spank her? Spanking or not, she certainly wasn’t letting someone touch her privates or go anywhere near her nether regions. No matter how much Katherine and James liked to overstep her boundaries, it didn’t make it any more okay than when they did it. But Dayna, someone who Dawn had even less experience with; none, actually, she had absolutely no right to that. Besides, wasn’t she doing far more than Katherine asked her to? Either way, she refused to be caught and she was willing to do anything to avoid it. She just needed something clever, because the only thing she had was playing musical chairs around a few different bookshelves that gave her enough time to outmaneuver Dayna. In theory, at least. It wouldn’t last for long though, which is why her frantic and panicked mind resorted to a simple, stupid, yet hopefully effective trick. Kailey was coming up as Dawn sprinted with a crinkle, busy sucking down her sippy cup as she watched curiously while the Little on the run raced right by her. Like a soft glancing blow, Dawn’s hand shot out, lightly tapping Kailey’s bare shoulder while she zoomed on through. Only after she was about to round the corner again, she shouted: “TAG! You’re it!” For maybe just a fraction of a second she thought it hadn’t worked, like somehow she just tempted an adult into a juvenile game that no one would fall for. No one other than an actual kid, obviously. But Kailey in the grand scheme unfortunately met Dawn’s expectations. Not more than a fraction of a second and it was a shrill, disappointed gasp from the girl. “Heyyyy…! You didn’t say we were playing!” Kailey cried, but Dawn could hear the girl on her feet. Maybe she was chasing after Dawn, or maybe she wasn’t. She couldn’t have been that committed though because next Dawn heard her shout the same mantra, only it wasn’t Dawn she’d touched. Now another Little was part of the game, and quickly another. Soon enough a whole flock of Littles were racing around the corner like it was chaos. “Tag!” “Tag, you’re it!” “No backsies!” “Liam’s it! Liam’s it!” It didn’t change that Dayna wanted Dawn, but the learning corner was only so big. It didn’t change that the Amazon with only so much vision around entire bookshelves had to start being wary of darting Littles that could or could not have been the one she was looking for. “Kids? Boys, girls, this isn’t where we play tag! It’s snack time, remember? Don’t you want another story?” Dayna tried to appeal to their sense of reason, but clearly she’d forgotten that somewhere along the way it’d been killed like their probable distaste for diapers. Pandemonium ensued and the one woman in charge couldn’t convince them to cease the commotion. Dawn paused and raced, finding just the right moments to dart from one spot to another. She avoided Dayna much more deftly now, especially with a few other diversions racing around. They giggled and laughed, and Dayna was trying to scold and be stern, but it was hardly working. But the madness could only last for so long. “Boys, girls?” Dayna raised her voice, much more than she had before. It was iron-willed and stern, and the giggles and laughs stopped almost immediately. The pattering of feet stopped instantly and the game died on the spot. “Do I need to tell your Mommies and Daddies that you’ve been misbehaving?” She waited for just a few seconds, letting the suspense sink into their fragile hearts. “Do I?” Her head panned across the room, like she was looking for someone to call her bluff. Probably someone other than Dawn, who was still at large, now hiding out of sight. There were quiet murmurs and whimpers. While a resistance was started quickly, so too was it killed. “Dayna?” A voice out of sight spoke, and salvation had been reached. “Is everything okay?” She needn’t hear another word. Dawn was careful to take the right path down an empty aisle, slipping by Dayna and right for the exit. The joy in her voice was really just the relief from narrowly avoiding punishment, as Dawn cheered, “Katherine!” She raced right up to her and planted her feet right by the Amazon’s side, looking nothing but surprised. “Katherine?” Dayna from the other end repeated, sounding with a bit of disbelief. “Katherine, you let her call you that?” The Amazon far too late to the party with none of the story blinked, then stuttered, “N-no, I…it’s something we're working on, so… Is…is something wrong?” Dawn’s eyes met Dayna’s for just a second, then she looked back up at the other giantess and spoke. “Well yes, actually… Katherine, I’m sorry, but your daughter has been misbehaving.” “What?” Katherine sounded surprised, and the tone actually made Dawn feel uneasy, like it’d suddenly become an open and shut case without any presentation of the facts. But before the train could run away with the verdict, Dawn blurted back, “No! She’s lying! Kath…” Dawn started to say, but she could see the wrinkle in Katherine’s brow, “M-Mommy!” Whatever it took to win her over. “I’ve been doing what she’s asked, but she’s doing stuff she’s not supposed to!” For a second Katherine glanced over at her coworker, then down back at the Little. “Like what?” “She doesn’t have permission, but she was touching me! She was giving me juice when I didn’t ask for it, and she’s been forcing me to sit and listen to stories instead of letting me read! She doesn’t have permission to do that! I gave in and did what she wanted, but she’s not even being fair! She said I could read after, but she’s just gonna make me listen to another one instead!” “Katherine,” Dayna’s words stepped right over Dawn’s, “She was using a little bit of language, as well…” “Dawn!” And yet somehow the tables had been turned entirely. It wasn’t even a defense. It wasn’t a rebuttal. Her argument was side-stepped just so this underhanded Amazon could claim something even more damning. The disapproval in Katherine’s voice made Dawn recoil, but she doubled down. “She’s lying! Yes! I said ‘stupid’ once! But that’s not language, or whatever stupid thing you guys call it! Naughty words? I’ve been behaving! I’ve been calling you Mommy! All I want in return is peace and quiet! I don’t want to deal with someone like her!” she shouted, stomped and pointed at the other Amazon, finally pissed as could be. “She…! She was going to check me! Then she was going to change me, and she’s not allowed to do that! No one is! I said ‘no’ and she wouldn’t listen! I…I tried! I really did!” She did try! She really fucking did! Dayna stepped forward, walking over to the Amazon and Little, and Dawn immediately backpedaled herself behind Katherine’s leg like a tree she could chain herself to. “Katherine, I can take care of her, okay? I know you’re busy, so just let me handle this?” Dayna offered, and Dawn was feeling more genuine fear to be trapped with this woman by the second. And as horrible as it felt to say, or to ask or maybe even beg, Dawn muttered, “Mommy…please!” Dawn’s defense had crumpled. Her legs that she used as walls turned around and fell out of reach, but only because an arm swept her from behind to lift her up, taking her to the same heights as the one she wanted nothing to do with. “I appreciate it, Dayna, but I think I’m gonna take an early lunch.” Katherine smiled at her hesitant coworker, stepping into the penned area just to lift her deposited bag from the shelf. “Are those one of her bottles?” Katherine asked, pointing out what Dayna had in her hand. “It is,” Dayna answered, handing it over. “But Katherine, I really don’t mind watching her?” “I know you don’t, and I’m sure I’m gonna have to impose on you again,” Katherine spoke as she adjusted Dawn in her arm, more thankful than she would have liked to have been liberated. “I just think she needs some downtime right now, though. I’m sorry for giving you such a handful!” Dawn didn’t care if she was a handful. Whatever it took to be left alone. “It’s fine, really!” Dayna waved her hand, looking pleased to find something related to workplace banter again. “Thank you for watching her! If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to start that lunch break early!” Katherine announced, and with a miraculous turn of events, she was free. “Th…thank you…” Dawn whispered against Katherine. The atmosphere and the situation had become far too much for her to handle. That instance of tag was her final wind at trying to prolong an inevitable horror she wasn’t ready to face. It may have been instigated by herself, but it wasn’t right that she had to bend over backwards for everything…! “K-Katherine, I promise, I was doing what I was supposed to! I–” “Dawn, please? Please call me Mommy?” Katherine reminded. It wasn’t directly from a place of wanting it for herself, but the undertones of conformity and appearance were also there. But most importantly, it was something that’d been asked of the Little, and she needed to do everything she could to maintain Katherine’s good graces. While she saved her, she didn’t look the happiest, either. “Mommy,” Dawn spoke with the same emphasis, “I…I tried…! She…she just wasn’t cooperating!” “Dawn…” Katherine sighed, taking them someplace where there were no people, of which Dawn noticed there seemed to be considerably more now. “I’m…I’m sure you did what you thought was right, but you know you can’t misbehave for other grownups.” “I wasn’t…!”Dawn tried to stress. “I did what I was supposed to! I listened! I drank from those bottles when she gave them to me, even when I didn’t ask for them! She kept touching my diaper even when I told her not to! I was looking through those dumb books just to find something that I could tell you about! Like we promised! She made me put them down just to sit in a circle and listen to a story I didn’t even want to read! I did all of that! I did all of it for YOU!” Dawn finally heaved, feeling the air leaving her lungs. “And…and when I finally said no…!” she winced, and hating herself for it, she sniffled. “She…she was gonna punish me… I was scared. I was so…so scared…!” It was James all over again. The painful spanking. The soap in her mouth. Stacy taking her clothes. Stacy smothering her face with hand soap, degrading her in front of the mirror in the bathroom… A needle up her ass, and all the same humiliation she had faced with that plump woman in the bathroom. The very first thing that sent her down this mortifying, unforgiving spiral. She did it all to avoid that. To avoid all those things that made her into the mess she was, and trained her to be so fearful of every single person more than double her height. Her hands were clutching the fabric of Katherine’s uniform, and before she knew it her eyes were watering. Everything thus far had made her doubt this world and everything that came with it. Everyone included. Katherine was no different, no more than what circumstances afforded her. If Dawn took just a second to think, she could conveniently turn this woman into yet another object of hatred, distrust and fear, but her selfish and frazzled nature is all that she needed to ignore the truth. Even if it was temporary, despite what Katherine had done herself, it wasn’t enough to deter Dawn from thinking she was safe for at least a little bit. Katherine would scold her. She’d be stern and rocksteady. She could give punishments and she could be bossy. She lied and she was deceptive, but in spite of that she was still willing to offer mixed messages disguised as kindness, and Dawn wanted to be the fool. Just for a little bit, she wanted to fall for the illusions and convince herself that this was a refuge. The hand on her back under the right lens was caring and assuring, and the crook between her neck and shoulder with the right filter was a safe haven for her head. If Katherine wanted to trick her, Dawn would trip over every wire and step on every plate. Anything if it meant taking just doses of Katherine’s reality, and none from no one else. Just while her mind and body recovered. And her ache subsided for just a second once she felt the woman’s squeeze. “We’re gonna talk about this in a little bit. Understood?” “Uh huh…” In just a moment of weakness, Dawn could feel the fingers hook the back of her diaper and jeans, tugging them back. It was foolish, delusional and pathetic, but the only thoughts that registered in the Little’s mind was that it wasn’t Dayna. It wasn’t some complete stranger. It was someone she didn’t want looking at her private places, but it was the same person she was seeking rescue from. The words made her feel small and shudder, but that was it. Nothing more, nothing less. The thought of how much more it could have been with Dayna made her feel far more uncomfortable. “Just a little wet…” 20 - Dumb and Difficult “...Where are we going?” Dawn finally mumbled over Katherine’s shoulder. It was a fair question. After all, with the way she was being held and carried, all Dawn could see were the places they had been rather than the ones they were headed to. “We need to go to the break room. There’s a fridge that has the lunch I made for us in there,” Katherine explained as they walked, and Dawn had the misfortune of seeing the Amazons that had amassed while she spent the early day in total confinement. All of them, teasing her so unfairly. They didn’t give her looks, wave or say anything, but their hands carried books, thin and thick, wide and slim, fingering through pages just to tease the poor girl. “I’m not hungry…” Dawn moped, only with an appetite for reading that she’d never get to satisfy. Had Katherine not made her agree to some stupid, pointless promise, the tiny girl would be leveraging their agreement to let her see some of the other books right about now. “You’re gonna eat something…” Katherine calmly insisted, shuffling the Little sitting on her arm just a bit. “I know I didn’t pack you any snacks?” “I still don’t wanna eat…” Dawn mumbled again. Knowing Katherine, it was either going to be some horrendously spicy food, or…or eggs, even? An egg salad? Something just to grind the girl’s gears. Everything just put her off to everything. Especially the warm feeling from her underwear. Underwear she couldn’t do anything about. But it wasn’t going to keep her from trying. Even if it was futile, it was still the principle. “I want to go change.” “We’ll change you in a little bit, okay? Maybe after lunch.” “Why just ‘maybe’?” Dawn sulked, “Why do you have to say it like it might not happen?” “Because, Dawn, we can’t bring your entire nursery everywhere we go? I only brought so many of your diapers, sweetie.” “Please…” After just being graciously rescued from one tyrant, the Little being carried right then wasn’t looking to totally sour the mood with the other. “I don’t wanna argue…I don’t need diapers…I’m not gonna go through however many you brought…!” “I don’t want to make you upset either,” Katherine insisted as she rubbed the back of the girl’s head. “Okay, I promise we’ll change you after lunch. Deal?” “...Fine.” Hollow victories. At some point they reached a door, not that Dawn would know other than through audible cues. A digital beep of some kind and one turn of a door handle later and the pair were in a different room set aside from the public sphere. “Oh hey Katherine!” A woman called, and Dawn just tried to admire the decor. Even their break rooms had just as much time and money spent on the design like the front end of things. Expensive looking ceiling designs with intricate wooden fixtures, polished tiled floors, and even beds of fresh greens to liven things up… “Hi Lucy! Coffee time?” “Coffee time…!” The Amazon sighed back, sharing in a mutual understanding. “I swear, it’s starting to become my vice… Can you believe that there’s Littles who drink this too? Well, once they can though, it’s mostly cream and sugar at that point!” I use cream and sugar… Dawn looked bitter, but kept her voice down, trying to remember what a supposed blessing it was just to be here and not with Dayna. “Mm…I don’t think I could handle mine tasting sweet,” Katherine agreed, but there was no slight or mocking comment. And just when things felt as normal as they could get, “Oh! Oh my gosh! Is that your new daughter!?” “Yep she is!” Katherine replied chipperly, and Dawn reclining herself a bit more could watch the fridge open from the corner of her eye. “Her name’s Dawn.” “Well hi there, Dawn!” Lucy, a fellow coworker of Katherine’s pivoted around to a spot where Dawn couldn’t do anything but look at the woman. Her smile was wide and her cheeks were rosy. It was like another Dayna. “Hi.” Dawn waved, then went mute again. “Not so chatty, huh?” Lucy sounded like she was keeping the indifference in stride. “It’s her first time here, so she’s a little shy…” Katherine explained apologetically, but the woman was already waving it off. “No, no worries! Are you having lunch already?” “Yes, we are,” Katherine nodded, and once she had whatever she needed, the door was closed. “It was my first time leaving her with someone else, so I think I missed her a little too much…” And maybe it was just playing things up to Lucy, but Dawn felt Katherine’s affectionate squeeze with her final words. “Oh, Dayna? She’s on diaper duty today, isn’t she?” Diaper duty…at least this one doesn’t try to make it sound like anything that it isn’t. “She’s running the corner today, yeah. I just picked Dawn up from there, actually.” “I’m sure she’s excited to be on vacation after today. Did Dawn get to hear any fun stories?” “I…actually didn’t get the chance to ask her yet,” Katherine paused for a second, and Dawn hoped it would stay at that. “Did she read anything fun, Dawn?” And just like that, the spotlight was on her. Not just Katherine, but another coworker now too. “We read about frogs…” Frogs. Froggies, and all their friends in the pond. Stupid smiling faces about learning what all the other imaginary animals and insects do in their habitat. Call her a skeptic, and maybe just ignorant of the way animals live their lives in this dimension, but somehow Dawn still doubted that ducks mingled with playing cards. “Ooou~!” Lucy wow’ed, slipping her eyes from Dawn and up to her guardian like they were trying to appeal to the excitement in the girl that didn’t exist. “That sounds cool! I know we have lots of stories about animals, so I think you’re gonna have a lot of fun here!” “She really likes to read, actually,” Katherine included, and Dawn just wanted them to leave. If only she could say that without being chastised for being “rude.” “Really? So like Mommy, like daughter, huh?” Lucy quipped, then laughed. “That’s so cute!” Cute? It was cute? Then did that mean Amazons liking to read was cute? Or was it for them somehow dignified? Intriguing? Fascinating? Something more than what Dawn got, surely. Fuck, the most it ever could be was cute, assuming what she had for reading variety now was all that she ever got. How badly she wanted to go home. Her actual home. “And I promised her we were gonna go look at some books after we eat, so I’m sorry to cut this short…!” Katherine apologized, and Lucy only laughed. “No, no! Go, go! I’m so sorry for butting in! Bye Dawn, it was nice meeting you!” Thankfully, they were gone and moving elsewhere. They left with a lunch in hand, but now a nugget of confusion was sprouting in Dawn’s head. “...Hey,” “Hm?” Katherine rubbed her back. “Are…are we really looking at the books?” “After we eat?” Katherine cocked her head a little closer. “You’ll need to eat something if you want to, though.” “...But I didn’t keep my promise…” Behave and find a book to tell Katherine about. That was the deal, as dumb as the second half was. So was the first, but it was more reasonable than telling the girl to get down and dig deep through a sea of sewage misunderstood as reading material. “But you tried, didn’t you?” Katherine reminded, striking a weird chord with the girl. “I wish you could have behaved the whole time, but I know this is a lot for you…so I can be patient. As long as you’re trying.” Trying felt wrong to say, or at least Dawn didn’t want to admit to anything like it. She wasn’t trying to accept any of this. She wasn’t trying to deal with diapers or submit herself to so many attacks of embarrassment and humiliation. She was just trying to bide her time. She wasn’t behaving, she was just enduring. What mattered most was being true to herself, but hearing the way others saw it from the outside looking in didn’t feel great either… “Besides, it sounds like you found a story you liked, right? If you eat your lunch we can look for something about frogs?” “I don’t like frogs,” Dawn admitted in a burst of honesty. “We just had to listen to a stupid story about them… Some other person liked them. That’s the only reason why…” “Yeah? Why didn’t you like the story? Because you don’t like frogs?” “No,” Dawn stressed, “I-I didn’t not like it because of frogs! It’s because it was just…just some boring story that you read to kids! It wasn’t advanced; there wasn’t any substance! That’s all those books! Just…just mindless, pointless words on paper…” “Uh-huh?” Katherine nodded and listened, surprisingly, and Dawn was half expecting the admonishment that never came. “We’ll find something you like, I’m sure. And I’m sure it’s not all bad? Don’t worry, I can be a picky reader, too!” Katherine chuckled, and Dawn hung in her arms with just as little hope as she had a few seconds before. Holding out hope for anything in that tiny prison was nothing but a fool’s errand. Trying to convince any Amazon of that was impossible. Dawn liked reading, but maybe Katherine wasn’t seeing it that way. It was just Dawn who likes “reading.” Reading as much as “coloring” is when you let a toddler scribble inside, around and outside the lines. “Where are we going now?” Dawn finally pressed on Katherine’s shoulder just to sit herself up in her arm to look around. With jealousy and envy, she spotted tables off to the sides, spotted with folks in chairs, quietly absorbing enjoyment, entertainment and information from pages and pages of the deemed forbidden fruit for Littles. Some had computers out. Laptops and phones. Notebooks and pencils and pens… Some were students, maybe? Just like…Dawn. “Remember that big tree you saw from the car?” Katherine rubbed her shoulder, “I wanted to take you there. They have tables we can eat at.” “You let people eat here, too?” Dawn asked with a sideways look. If she wasn’t attacking it from that angle, she’d be far too pissed about Amazons not only being the only ones allowed access to real books, but to even risk food and drinks near them as well. Meanwhile, Littles were discounted for simply being too small. “Yes, but not while they’re reading. That’s a very important rule,” Katherine explained carefully, despite there not being much to say. And while they walked, or rather, Katherine walked them both, Dawn was unfortunate enough to witness some folks who didn’t rely on the Library’s endless services so heavily. With an uneasy feeling in her stomach, she watched one Amazon in particular, quiet and focused on her reading, pausing just to scribble something here or there in her adjacent notebook. And yet, all the while using her foot like a pendulum, quietly and slowly pushing a stroller back and forth. Inside it was of course a man, not a boy, gagged by a pacifier with shut eyes, hiding under some stupid, soft-looking blanket covered in trucks and cars. Christ, it actually looked like he was sleeping. Slumbering. Like it was somehow normal. Like he could be at ease enough to actually fall asleep in a public place. Like it didn’t matter that his entire life was over likely before it’d even reached the halfway point. Like…! “--Look, Dawn, see?” In spite of seeing the horror stained in her vision, blinking once was enough to wash the echoed horror out of her eyes. There it was, the tree. Sitting on a large oasis of bright green grass on a short, sloping hill, the centerpiece was a massive tree made up of girthy and thick, winding roots that skidded across the surface before disappearing into the ground. The only separation between what was natural and manmade was a circle of large, uniform stones establishing the perimeter. A dense shade was offered by the overarching head of leaves supported by countless branches, but allowing slivers of sunlight to slip on through. Folks were chatting and eating, just like Katherine said. There weren’t any Littles in this spot though, thank goodness. Just to watch someone so…complacently suffering was enough to make the girl’s blood boil and her mind to panic. And yet while the living nightmares were dotted all around her, at least she had a pretty tree to look at. “I still can’t believe we have this here…!” Katherine marveled at the sight. It was more than double her height, which meant Dawn was but a mere fraction to it. “What do you think? Isn’t it pretty?” “Mm…” Dawn nodded, keeping her feelings reserved. She wanted to believe that even a place like this couldn’t pervert nature itself, but operating on assumptions so far had only shocked the girl even more when supposed absolute truths were nothing more than fallacies. “Did you wanna pick where we sit?” Katherine offered, and Dawn, far from wanting the opportunity, pointed off to a corner anyway with at least some kind of sculpture as a usable privacy shade. As a bonus, it left at least a full table’s width from any others that were sitting there. “Is…is it okay for you to be eating out here?” Normal people were nearby, either eating or reading, but normal people meant a public place. Wasn’t it weird for a worker to be eating in the same space? Separation of spheres, or something? “It’s okay, we’re allowed,” Katherine assured. And without asking, Katherine took her seat, meaning Dawn took hers as well. Right on her lap. “Are there…any…higher chairs?” Dawn carefully asked, but it didn’t change how heavily she was toeing the line. Two letters less and Katherine probably would’ve been overjoyed to hear such a question. “Sorry, sweetheart, we don’t have chairs here like the one you have at home,” an apologetic explanation came, and Dawn’s modicum of hope had gone. “Is it okay if you sit in my lap?” “...Uh-huh.” There was hardly anything else to say. If she refused there wouldn’t be an alternative. Katherine would be put into a difficult situation. As appealing as that was, it meant delaying Dawn’s food, and no food meant no books; the one reason for experiencing all this suckiness. So she sat in her lap, watching all the luggage unload on the table. First was the diaper bag, then it was slid to the side. Next though were a couple plastic containers and a bottle of water. An Amazon bottle of water. No nipple to go with it. “And I made sure to keep one cold for you too,” the Amazon added as Dawn watched a baby bottle descend from the heavens, loaded with more of the same juice she’d been getting all day, only freshly chilled now. “...Thank you,” and Dawn accepted the drink just to keep her hands full with an excuse to do nothing else. And dare she ask, “What did you bring?” “I made a…salad! And a sandwich, too. You can share with me.” One lid after another came off, and true to Katherine’s words, Dawn could see what looked like greens in one container and bread in the other. The sandwich came out first though, which was an uncanny similarity Dawn could remember, albeit much bigger than the one she was served. “This is the one I made you yesterday. You liked it, right?” Like was a very strong word. Her body simply needed food. Sustenance. Energy because she didn’t have a deathwish and believed in at least living just to reach the other side. “Yeah…it’s fine.” That was more than enough for Katherine to bring the food to her mouth, and Dawn finally bit off a corner. True to her word, it had the same taste, albeit slightly more bitter than she remembered. “It’s not too much, is it?” Katherine was already asking the same time a surprise napkin wiped away the imaginary crumbs off Dawn’s face. “I put a little seasoning on mine…” she said in an almost apologetic voice. “It’s…” Dawn choked down a small cough, “fine,” and then took a swig of her cold juice to wash it down. “Once it’s time to go food shopping, I’ll make sure we get some stuff you’ll wanna eat, okay?” Then Katherine took a bite herself. “I’ll need to remember to ask James about getting you some of those Little Lunches…” “I don’t need anything special, this is fine,” Dawn tried to insist. The moment she found something livable was the same time she sought for the status quo. Nothing more needed to change or slip further than it already had. “You don’t need to be so reserved, honey? We just want you to have some things that you’d like too?” “And I like this sandwich, so it’s fine. I don’t need anything else.” Dawn spoke firmly, and Katherine didn’t push. Not any more than offering her an occasional bite from the shrinking sandwich. “Can I have some of the salad, too?” Dawn asked of her own accord, purely for the sake of variety. She looked up at the fork moving to and from the food and Katherine’s mouth, all above her as the motions ensued. “You can try it?” Katherine accepted, somewhat. It was a loaded answer with lingering effects and conditions. “I think there’s a dressing on this you’re gonna think is yucky, honey…” And Dawn, just as ignorant and stubborn as ever, insisted, “I’ll be fine.” Just like breakfast that morning, Katherine fed her a bite with a fork held out to her mouth. With a small bushel of greens, sliver of onion and chunk of tomato, all dressed in some kind of unifying substance, Dawn took the mouthful and swallowed. Her face felt like it was imploding. Her lips were folding in and the prickly, sour, bitter taste was traveling up and down her system like a frantic chicken with its head cut off. The only thing keeping her in Katherine’s lap was the very Amazon’s arm around her stomach. “Drink your juice, sweetie?” Katherine helpfully reminded, and not a second later and the girl was self-soothing her tongue with cold, refreshing fruit-like juice. “Wh-why is all your stuff so bitter? And so…so spicy?” Dawn tiredly complained, taking another bite of sandwich as she started to feel bitter herself. “You people even make your food to discriminate against Littles?” “Dawn, it’s just what Amazons like? We like sour and bitter stuff. Just how Littles like sweet things?” It was a pointless discussion because that’s the only place it could have gone, and Katherine skipped right to the end. Instead Dawn was watching the tree, angling her head up high just to see the entirety of it. “Do you like it?” Katherine smiled down at her. “It’s…whatever,” Dawn turned her head away sheepishly. “You must, though?” After all, Dawn spent last night briefly on the back deck while Katherine watered her garden. “I like it a lot!” The Amazon answered honestly and without reservation. “You know, if I could, I’d want one just like it at our house. I’d want it right in the center of the backyard, too.” “And do what with it, just look at it?” Dawn, a person hardly of greens, but not a denier of their use, openly debated. “Wouldn’t it like…suck up all the nutrients, or something?” That was common sense, right? “That’s a very good point,” Katherine complimented the thought with a rub on her head. “But there’s plenty of food for all the plants and a tree. That’s a little silly though, huh? Even plants need to eat, too.” “Yeah, like photosynthesis. I know.” “Uh-huh, very good,” Katherine praised her again, despite Dawn not looking for any of it. “But they need more than just the sun, you know? Flowers, veggies, trees, and everything else that lives in the ground also has roots. You know how trees have branches?” she pointed out all the forking limbs of thinner and thinner wood, “Imagine all that, but also in the ground! They’re like a bunch of straws that like to suck up the water in the ground and other yummy stuff that they need to grow. Does that make sense?” Yeah. I know already. “Yeah. It does.” “I like growing all sorts of stuff.” “For free food?” Dawn could at least see the use in that. “Mmm…maybe!” Katherine laughed, “I never thought of it like that! It doesn’t have to be something we can eat, though. I like big plants, small plants, colorful ones and silly ones. As long as I get to start with the seed.” “Why just the seed?” If memory served, Dawn could always remember her mom getting flowers, though that just meant bringing back pre-grown ones from the store just to plop in the dirt. Did they even do much growing after that? It definitely didn’t make much sense to her, but everyone had their hobbies… Katherine included. “...Because that way I get to grow it all on my own,” Katherine spoke, and Dawn could hear the smile. “It’s a very good feeling when you can raise something, because you get to see them from start to finish. Going from just a seed, and then a little bit of green…getting bigger and bigger…until tiny buds start to form, and blossom into lots of pretty flowers.” “So you just like the process?” “Kind of!” Katherine smiled, then put them both through the motions of taking another bite. “All the plants in the garden need a little bit of care and love for them to grow big and strong. They can’t get all the water they need on their own, so that’s my job. Sometimes there can be bugs or weeds that can make them feel sick, so then it’s up to me to fix them and make them feel all better.” Dawn took another swig from her bottle. “Sounds like a lot of work.” The Amazon holding her chuckled as her first response. “It is a bit of work, but if anything is worth doing, then it won’t be easy.” Well, not exactly. Dawn could think of a million different things worth doing that were in fact easy. Case and point, brushing your teeth every night and day. So simple, yet it saves your teeth from a lifetime of dental issues… “...Dawn?” Odd. The pause there was before speaking put the Little a bit on edge. “...Yeah?” “Can we talk about what happened with Dayna, now?” Ugh. And just like that, the next forced bite of Katherine’s sandwich felt just a bit more bitter. Dawn was brief and fast, just so she could fill her mouth with juice. “It’s her fault, not mine. I did what I was supposed to.” “Honey, I’m not mad… I just want to understand what happened?” Finally, for once, Dawn could see the most obvious trap if there ever was one. Maybe she wasn’t mad, and maybe she was speaking calmly and soothingly, but that didn’t change the certainty there’d be consequences anyway. Punishment was sure to follow for telling the truth. Undoubtedly. Call her a coward, but the thought of another spanking made the girl visibly uncomfortable. It was a trap, definitely, but Dawn was supposed to talk. She was supposed to tell her story. Share her frustrations, and just thinking of them was getting her riled up again. “She…she just kept…getting in the way!” “Mhm? How was she doing that?” It was a neutral question, completely without any indication whether she felt differently or not. As far as Dawn could tell, she really did have the entire floor. “Just…the way she talked to me. The stuff she made me do…! Did you not tell me to go looking for a book to read, or something?!” “I did,” Katherine nodded, agreeing simply. “Well Dayna didn’t get that I guess. You…you gave her all that stuff in that bag, and she wouldn’t stop bothering me! As soon as I’m reading, she makes me take some juice that I didn’t even ask for! And after she gives it to me, she says, ‘You can have food or drinks with a book’!’” Dawn scoffed with a pissy look. “She GAVE me a drink just to force me to stop reading!” “Do you think she may have thought you were just thirsty?” “I–I don’t know? But it doesn’t even matter! Because she kept doing it! And then I started to say ‘no,’ but she wouldn’t listen to me! She wouldn’t take that as an answer! She…she just kept holding you over my head! Like she was gonna tell you what a brat I was being, or something! A-and wait, that’s not even everything she did!” She was on a streak and her memory was flipping stones in a flurry of residual rage. “Okay…take your time. I’m listening,” Katherine said as Dawn was too driven to even care about the hand on her back. “There was some ki–... There was another person who showed up when I was reading; some…some Little,” it felt wrong to say. Horrible, but in what other way could she communicate it without giving in to what these people wanted? What, call her a fucking kid? “There…a Little was bothering me. She kept talking to me and trying to get me to do stuff…!” “Were you nice to her?” “Yes! I was nice! I even went to the corner just so no one would bother me! But she said Dayna told her to come over! She made her walk over to me just to bother me!” “Dawn, maybe Dayna just wanted to help you make a playmate?” The Amazon softly reasoned. “No! Because I told Dayna that I didn’t want to be bothered! I just wanted to be left alone! But she kept doing stuff! She…she even touched me!” “Touch…?” Katherine’s voice was slow and hesitant. “She…touched you?” “Yes! When she wasn’t supposed to! You said you were gonna check on me. But she did it anyway! She kept grabbing my–the stupid diaper! She pulled down my pants and just did whatever she wanted! Like it didn’t even matter what I said or did!” “Sweetie, when you say ‘touch’, you mean when she checked your diaper, right?” “Yes!” Christ, Katherine, what else could it mean?! A was low and quiet, but a sigh left the Amazon’s mouth. “O…okay. She checked your diaper and you weren’t comfortable with that, right?” “No, I wasn’t! And aren’t you too?” It sucked appealing to her on whims and means that Dawn denied and was against, but she needed support. She needed to be justified. “Didn’t you say that only people we trust can do that stuff? I don’t trust her! Not now and not ever!” “Dawn…Dayna is someone I’ve worked with for a long time now? She’s safe to trust.” “Well she isn’t!” Dawn huffed and crossed her arms. “She was being…ugh, so manipulative! She was making me do stuff just so she could make me do other things! She gave me juice so I couldn’t read, then used that as an excuse just to get me sitting in some stupid story time circle! Then she promised I could go back after the story, but then just tried to give me another bottle! She didn’t listen! Nobody listens!” “I’m listening right now, aren’t I?” Katherine leaned over just to get her head a bit closer. “Maybe…but is that gonna change anything? It doesn’t make me any more right, does it? Are you gonna go ask Dayna what happened next? Because whatever she says has more credibility than me, right?” Frustration was a good motivator for the stomach, because Dawn was already reaching for another bite. “Honey, you need to know that what you have to say always matters, okay? It matters to me and James. Just like what you’re saying right now matters.” “And that’s the problem! You…you and James can say whatever you want, fine,” it was a whole other issue entirely, “but what happens when I’m around someone like Dayna? What happens when she doesn’t care about what I say?” “I’m positive she cared, Dawn. Dayna was just doing what anyone would? It’s our job to take care of you guys when you’re there?” “Even if I don’t consent to it? Even when I tell her not to?!” “It’s because she’s not just going to ignore you, Dawn? What if something happened? What if you got hurt, or you needed a grownup to take care of something?” “Then I would take care of it myself!” Dawn raised her voice, and a hand on her shoulder brought the levels right down. “So what, she gets in trouble if I don’t let her baby me? She was doing stuff you were gonna do! I could have asked you for a drink when you came by! I would have said I needed to change when it was your break! She had no business and didn’t care that I told her not to!” “And you’d really want to be in a wet diaper until I came and checked in on you?” “N-no! Don’t twist it like that!” Dawn cried, “It’s not the same and you know it! I already said I don’t trust her, and no one is allowed to touch me or…or change me!” “But how about when I change you?” “I don’t want that either! But I can’t stop you, and there’s no one that can stop you from doing that to me…! So…at least with someone else, there’s supposed to be you that can stop it from happening…” It always sucked. It fucking sucked so much to keep on confronting the same, undying sense of helplessness. It wouldn’t die because as long as she was stuck here, that feeling would be validated. The only sense of empowerment she could have a snowball’s chance in hell of getting was by living vicariously through the Amazons that’d kidnapped her. It was supposed to be them that put a stop to the injustices committed against her, so what was the point if they listened to outside opinions first and foremost before their very own captive? The one that they “swore” to protect? And maybe it was late, and it certainly wasn’t needed, but both Amazon arms came around Dawn, pulling her against Katherine’s torso. “I know it feels tough…I know it’s scary being in a new place with new people, but I promise you, Dawn, I wouldn’t ever put you in a place that I didn’t feel comfortable with. I know we made a promise, and it makes me really happy how you were trying so hard to keep it, you know?” Happy, great. It didn’t change the fact what things had become, though. “But as much as that makes me happy, I don’t want you to make trouble for others because of it, okay?” It felt like a harsh one-eighty, which is why Dawn spun her head up with an incredulous look. “But–!” Dawn tried to speak, but Katherine calmly continued. It wasn’t even a rude interruption, it was simply the woman speaking with such inertia that the Little felt compelled to go quiet. “I think Dayna just really wanted you to fit in, sweetie. She wanted you to make a friend, feel included, and have a good time? Would you ever want someone you’re looking after to feel sad or left out?” “No, I wouldn’t, but this is different than that!” Dawn wanted to be left alone! And great, what an opportune moment where she could have pointed that out, but just missed. “And Dawn, be honest with me: were you using bad words?” “N-no! I–” “Dawn?” Katherine interrupted, much more sternly. “Don’t make me turn you around to look up at me. Answer honestly. Were you using bad words?” She…she wasn’t! She didn’t say anything bad! No fuck, no shit, no ass, no nothing of the sort that she’d been reprimanded for so many times already! What was this, coercing a false confession? There was no crime, yet Katherine talked like it was certain. Like…like Dayna could only speak in absolute truths. “I…I said stupid! That’s all I said! I didn’t swear! Not since…not since last night!” “Dawn…no bad words means no bad words,” Katherine emphasized with disappointment. “It doesn’t count!” Dawn legitimately whined. “I did what you told me! Why can’t I even say that? What, can I not say ‘dumb’ either? Is that too much of a bad word?” “If you know that it’s a mean thing to say, you shouldn’t be saying it at all,” Katherine softly scolded. “I’m very proud that you did stop saying so many naughty things, but I know you can do better, sweetie? I know that you have so many nice things to say?” The disconnect couldn’t have felt any greater, because Dawn most certainly did not have anything nice to say. Whatsoever. Henceforth she wouldn’t be saying anything at all, apparently. Her language had been thoroughly policed once already and now it was time for crackdown number two. How unfair. How so unbelievably un-fucking fair. “I’m not mad, and you’re not in trouble, but we’re not putting up with bad behavior anymore, Dawn. Do I make myself clear?” “It’s… Fine! Yes! You do! But why do I have to get in trouble for doing what I’m told?” “Because, Dawn, if James and I aren’t there, then you need to listen to the grownup in charge. Even if we make a promise, that doesn’t give you an excuse to misbehave or backtalk.” It was all just framing. She was being framed for crimes she didn’t commit. It was all for the sake of self-defense and preservation. And it sucked, just to think for even a fraction of a second that Katherine was on Dawn’s side. And yet, even with them alone in just the company of themselves, the woman still wouldn’t crack under the many fallacies that Dawn just couldn’t shine a light on. “So…so even if I think it’s a bad idea. If it’s something that’ll hurt me, you still want me to listen? You still want me to just give in?” And a pair of lips pressed against the top of her head, right before hearing, “James and I will never put you in a situation like that. Just listen and behave, okay?” “I’m done eating…” Dawn moped, crossing her arms one last time. “Okay,” and Katherine graciously moved on, “Drink your juice while I finish my food, okay? Then we’ll go look at some books.” And again, Dawn felt that the chance had somehow been squandered by their little heated debate, yet apparently not. Katherine didn’t seem to let grudges linger, not nearly as long as they admittedly did with Dawn. By the time the Amazon could be as cool as a cucumber, Dawn would still be trying to stomach the frustration and negative feelings, much less truly start to digest them. Her frame of mind was still stuck in a bitter place that would never be so gracious to herself like Katherine was being. She knew she was in the right, and Dayna was wrong. Katherine was misguided, but she was wrong about so many other things too. And yet, Dawn couldn’t seem to reason with any of that. Dawn just didn’t understand. Dawn did the wrong things even when she did as she was told. How many times would the goal post move? How many times would it shift? It was constant bouts of self-sacrifice, and the only compromises were just Dawn letting herself slip more and more. Regardless, Katherine got to focus on eating, and Dawn was able to keep to herself; the very thing she wanted since the start of today. “So we’re really going?” “Mhm!” “Do I get to touch them?” “You need to promise to be gentle.” “I am gentle! I–! I…I promise, I’ll be gentle.” Did she somehow think Dawn’s books back home could withstand nuclear warheads and she didn’t understand the concept of paper being torn easily? “Okay, I believe you,” Katherine laughed, and Dawn was simply too on edge, dearly hoping that this was going to be what she was actually promised. Finally, something just as advertised without any cruel or mean tricks. “We’ll look for a little bit, but then I need to change you before my break is over, okay?” “Fine, fine. Can we go now?” The experience of wearing a wet diaper hadn’t left her, but even the most tortured could endure something so simple if it meant being offered food on the brink of starvation. “Is there somewhere you wanted to look at first?” “Fantasy,” Dawn blurted out. Something. Anything, just so they didn’t waste their precious time deliberating on where to go. “Fantasy? Mmm, okay!” All it took was a hum and thoughtful look around, and Katherine with a blueprint of the building seemingly in her back pocket, departed and moved with purpose. Finally, Dawn with a personal escort had been sprung from jail and was about to have the time of her life. What a sweet reprieve it would be from all the baby books and propaganda that place was filled with. There wouldn’t be anything out here about the diapered divas battling the potty monster or Hansel and Gretel finding a daycare in the middle of the forest. The genuine excitement was enough to shield her eyes from all the Amazons getting to roam about the library so freely, including all the fake parents carrying their Littles off, likely to a particular corner ruled by an evil witch of an Amazon. “Okie-dokie… See everything on these two shelves?” Katherine pointed from floor and nearly to ceiling of two long and tall faces of pure literature. Dawn nearly squealed. The spines were titles, the covers looked textured. Hardcovers, paperbacks, authors and more. The images she could see weren’t pastels, some were wonderfully plain, and others seemed modest. “That one!” Dawn hurriedly pointed, and Katherine laughed, looking delighted as could be to pull one from the shelf. Katherine leaned over and slipped the book from its socket, leaving the hivemind of words and wisdom to be united with Dawn. It was big, certainly. Amazon big. A bit much, but Dawn could easily stomach that if it was just like the real thing in every other sense. The synopsis! The synopsis! Dawn desperately fought the urge to touch it right then herself. A Tale of Ten Towers, by Sofia Suffix She was practically bouncing like a junkie just about to get their best fix yet. Sofia, please don’t disappoint…! What unfortunately put a damper on things though was when Katherine robbed her of the chance to open the cover herself. Fine, whatever, Dawn would get the chance later, but she couldn’t necessarily complain about getting straight to the reading part. But Katherine stopped right after opening up the cover. Then she muttered, “Let me just take a look at something, honey…” And Dawn watched what she was looking at, but it was practically otherworldly to her. Stamped on the inside had to have been somewhere around a twenty-ish letter code of some kind. Sixteen? It was a seemingly scrambled string of letters and numbers with some symbols, even. It made absolutely no sense to Dawn, hence her frown, but also including Katherines? Before Dawn could even touch the page though, Katherine gently closed the cover and slid it back into place. She was speechless for a moment, ready to wonder why the hell she had gone and done that, but Katherine said so herself. “Why don’t we take a look at a different one?” Katherine smiled, but it didn’t add to any explanation for her decision. “Wh-what? Why? What’s wrong with that one? We didn’t even read the back?” “I didn’t like some of the things that were in that book,” Katherine explained simply, and Dawn gave her a weird look. “W-well, like what?” Hate speech? Radical ideologies that’d somehow transmit indoctrinated teachings to the reader? The only acceptable reason for putting it back was that, and nothing else. No other reasoning would excuse it. “Mmm…naughty grownup stuff,” Katherine was fast and quick with her words, like she was trying to shift focus fast and quick. Naughty…grownup…? “You mean like se–” “Ahp!” Katherine gasped before Dawn could finish. “Dawn? No naughty words, understood?” Did the book have sex, was that it? How did Katherine even know? She was a self-described avid reader, but surely that didn’t mean she had read everything that there is to read in this place? You’d need three lifetimes and then some, just maybe. “M-my bad. But wait, I wanted to look at that book.” “We’ll find a better one, okay?” Katherine was already stepping out of its reach, and Dawn watched her forbidden knowledge miraculously disappear. Normally the loss of opportunity or being told she couldn’t do something she knew that she could handle would put her right back into a pissy mood, but being allowed to come into close contact with legitimate literature just felt too good. “That one,” Dawn pointed out a new title, “Silver Stars,” feeling much more eager to take the book herself this time. And like a well-oiled machine, or one of the book buddies that Katherine always worked on, she retrieved the book, sitting it in her hands. And just to get the feeling, Dawn, despite Katherine needing no help whatsoever, joyfully partook in peeling back the front cover. She nearly cried. The flimsy, cardboard cover was just like at home, if not a bit tougher, but that was a bonus, not any kind of mocking detriment like it would’ve been at the Little’s corner. Instead, Dawn got the feel of the thin, textured paper with her fingernail as they flipped the first page up to a similar…long and complicated code. “C-can we take this one over to a table so I can–?” Dawn tried to set up their next destination with a treasure in hand, but twice her expectations had been resurrected and removed because Katherine with a small, disapproving look started to put the book back. “Wait! What’s wrong? What’s wrong?” Dawn begged for an explanation, but watched as her book slipped back into the shelf. “I didn’t like some of the things I saw there either,” Katherine frowned. On some level she must have known what this was doing to Dawn, but it didn’t change the impression that the Little figured the Amazon was just being too overprotective. “Katherine, whatever it is, I can read it! I’ve read plenty of books before!” “I’m sure you have, honey, but some of these stories just don’t seem very appropriate…” Time was ticking and not a single book had yet to be experienced or even read just a tiny bit…! “How can you even tell? Y-you’re not even reading them!” “Did you see all those letters and numbers on both books?” “Yeah?” “We call those ‘Sequence Series,’” Katherine explained slowly and carefully, like Dawn had regressed into being a preschooler again. “Those codes can tell us what a story is about and what kind of themes or genres might be in them.” “Wh-what?” Didn’t having a fantasy section count as enough? They tagged the contents of their books individually, more specifically than that? “Let me see. Show me.” “Okay,” Katherine had no hesitation and grabbed a new book from the shelf. She turned the page, and in the same fashion as the others this one was another string of gibberish. “See that code?” her finger landed on the one thing that was actually on the page. “We use sixteen letters and numbers to keep track of what this story is like!” “H-how?” Dawn peered down at the page, finding it no less insightful than the other two were. She wasn’t even seeing a pattern. All three books that were in the fantasy section should have at least one unifying trait, right? “See these first four letters here?” Katherine traced her finger. “Y…yeah?” Even the first four seemed to have no meaning, yet Katherine spoke like it was the easiest thing to understand. “That tells us the year and place when this book was written.” A location for the author? A time of completion? A year…and an address? All in just four spaces? Using only four characters? There weren’t even any numbers? How was a number stored in this? “So these two letters mean it was written about…twenty years ago. That’s a long time, huh?” Katherine chuckled, and Dawn tried to focus on the teaching moment. “And then these two right after that mean it was written in a place called Catalon. Does that make sense?” “I…guess…” Dawn murmured in a shy voice. How did a ‘Z’ and ‘Q’ imply a time period two decades ago, and letters and symbols like ‘#’ and lowercase ‘I’ indicate a place called Catalon? They weren’t even an abbreviation? “Now the next twelve spots tell us all about the story. These three let us know there’s a hero…these two say it has a little bit of mystery, and…mm. This one says it’s a little scary, so how about we find a different one?” Horror was obviously manageable for the girl, but she was still feeling overwhelmed by the system, yet driven to try and understand it. “W-wait, so…” Dawn tried to trace her finger. “So…so these three characters mean it has mystery themes?” “Yup! Very good!” Katherine was quick to praise, but the shine missed Dawn completely who was still trying to cement the understanding. She tried not to let her confusion get the best of her. Katherine was so casual and confident with her words, it only made Dawn more hesitant as she looked at it over and over. It was all a continuous line of letters, numbers and symbols. There were no spaces or breaks, and yet Katherine was somehow able to piece it apart like it was nothing? “Okay…” Dawn said quietly, and Katherine was putting away the book and pulling out another. And almost immediately when they flipped to the sequence series, Dawn spotted the same chain further along the 12 characters. “Wait, so that says there’s mystery in this one?” Dawn pointed it out, suddenly too preoccupied to even enjoy the touch and feel of the textured paper. Just like she remembered. It wasn’t smooth or rigid like all the ones back at the baby corner. What a joy, though. Not only did she get to interact with genuine books, but she was learning, too! But then Katherine made a noise, like she was proud of Dawn for trying, but she was un-arguably incorrect. “Oh, good eye, Dawn! But actually, right here are two different ones. It doesn’t say mystery, but actually this one says it has dragons, and this one says it has two main characters.” “...Oh…” the disappointment and embarrassment was hard to hide. She felt so certain, and yet she couldn’t have been more wrong. “Then…what about the first three after the location? So these…?” And just like Katherine explained, Dawn traced out the following three spaces after the first four. And instead of making the answer direct, the Amazon started with, “You’re really close!” It was like textbook childcare. Praise them right before delivering the bad news. “This time though it’s only just two characters, not three.” “But…how do you know?” Dawn frowned, looking down at the page. “How do you know where the spaces are, or…which ones stop and start?” Was she missing something obvious? Sure, Katherine had more experience with this, but…it just looked like nothing? “Well…sometimes you can just recognize them.” Recognize? Like Dawn just tried and horribly failed at doing? “Or, what we can do is take the first letter and the fourth, and that tells us the kind of ordering sequence the letters use…” Katherine’s voice was slow and careful, pointing each and every piece of the puzzle out, but the confused look on Dawn’s face was reflecting in the librarian’s eyes. Suddenly Katherine was looking sympathetic, almost as if she embarked on a subject far too complex for poor little Dawn. “But that’s a lot of tough stuff to remember, huh?” she quickly pepped up her voice. “You wanna keep looking for a story?” It was an unexpected detour that left Dawn feeling oddly clueless. It was the first time something in this dimension had intellectually stumped her, other than that stupid bread tie thing from that one morning… Obviously if she tried hard enough, she could figure it out, though. This sequence series stuff, that is. The bread tie too, of course… “I guess, yeah,” Dawn nodded, and was given the privilege of trying to seek out more books. And as They searched, more so Katherine skimming, peeking at the multi-digit code on each one, disapproving of each one someway and somehow, the Little in her arms was starting to fidget. As more time went on without a result, the girl was feeling more and more anxious “Don’t you guys sort by those codes, or something? Is it really just sorted by random?” “Some libraries do that,” Katherine answered while she filtered through book after book, “but that’s what all our special helpers are for!” she looked up to the ceiling, and by coincidence one of the drones was quietly sliding by on its rails. “It’s a little tricky for us to remember, but these guys can remember where each and every book is, and they remember that long line of letters, too! Soon though we will be organizing our books like that,” she chuckled, “but it’s a lot of books to move around!” After enough time Dawn was losing hope that there’d be anything Katherine might approve of, and that was only adding to her worries about Amazon books altogether. Was it just a bad section? It had to be! It’s not like Amazon teens and preteens went straight into text about murder, politics, and sex? “Mmm…oh! This one looks good!” “What? What is it?” Dawn, not even paying attention anymore finally glanced down at the book she was holding. “This is an older one…” Katherine passively mentioned, finally skimming through the actual text. It was all ink-letter print; some offshoot of Times New Roman. Times New Amazon? Just maybe. Either way it was just like Dawn expected, and she wanted to consume it so badly. “Helmsman of the East…” she commented curiously, looking the front and back over. “Can I read it now?” Dawn asked. The title alone was enough to send prickles up her spine. It sounded like an actual title. No signs about learning to like diapers, Littles learning to love their new “families,” or anything as disgusting of the sort. Just an unbiased, normal story, and Katherine could actually be the very reason she could escape from that. “In a minute, honey,” Katherine said, and Dawn watched the book disappear in the diaper bag. “You’re getting a little squirmy; time for a change!” she announced in a sing-song voice, and the accused tried not to blush, hoping the aisle was empty. The slightest perk to Katherine working here was having a full understanding everywhere everything was, and that included bathrooms. Once they entered the long bathroom, every step and click from Katherine’s heels was like a punch to her gut, skipping each and every bathroom stall on their way to a station not equipped to deal with the urgency of bodily needs, but only the aftermath of it. “W-wait!” Dawn whispered nervously, and Katherine cocked her head. “What’s wrong?” “It’s…it’s not…! It’s not private…!” It didn’t sound like anyone was in there with them, but what was to stop someone from walking in? A plastic foldable table bolted into the wall hung on the far end wall, right next to the mirror lining a long row of sinks. The only thing that would be keeping her from the public eye was Katherine herself. All it took was the right angle though from an all-encompassing mirror… “No one’s here now, sweetie, it’ll be fine.” “B-but what if somebody walks in?!” The argument didn’t stop Katherine from unfolding the table. “Then that means they need to use the potty too?” Use it too? Katherine could be so innocent and so nonchalant, yet somehow be just as insulting at the same time. Dawn used the bathroom just like every other Amazon, only in a completely different way. Christ, she didn’t even get to use it, she was the one being used. “Please, then just let me change myself! I’ll be quick!” “Dawn…” There wasn’t even a debate this time, just a soft warning from Katherine that just may have reminded the Little how that went last time. The devastation from not even being able to take off her own diaper. “W-wait, I don’t, I don’t need the–!” And the strap went on. “Shh,” Katherine soothed, brushing her shoulder. “It’s just so I can be quick, okay?” “So you mean I’d just get in the way?” Admittedly, there was a small amount of hurt, but mostly pissy attitude, and not including the diaper. “No, you do not get in the way,” Katherine was quick to correct, “But I can be super fast all on my own! And…off we go!” Her shoes quickly popped off after the laces were undone, and Dawn tried pressing her knees together to stop it, but the diaper bulk between them prevented her from stopping Katherine’s quest to take off her pants. “Please…just hurry…!” Dawn begged with her eyes shut, flinching as each tape ripped and popped. And then, if it couldn’t have been any more emotionally overwhelming, her toes hiding in her socks curled the moment she heard the front door open. She wanted to mindlessly beg Katherine to do something. Anything. Hell, exercise her authority as an employee to kick the stranger out. But she was too embarrassed, too mortified to do even that. The cool air on her crotch was suddenly the paralyzing chill, even if Katherine’s shadow was hiding her from the rest of the room. In a perfect world it would have been someone just going to use a stall. If only the world was perfect, though. So instead, a girl, or a mini woman was tearfully whining instead, “Mommy…!” “I know, baby, shh… Be patient, okay? We’ll change you right after they’re done, okay?” “Sorry!” Katherine, the social butterfly she was of course, had to acknowledge the people behind her, and Dawn stared up at the high, high ceiling trying to do nothing else but disassociate from reality just to hide herself away. It didn’t matter if she wasn’t being seen right now. Someone was waiting on them, waiting to use this exact changing table. Whoever it was, they would without a doubt see Dawn on their way out. They would know that it was Dawn just getting her bare ass wiped and her privates rubbed down with baby powder. They’d know that the crinkling diaper they heard unfold would be around Dawn’s hips. “Hm?” The Amazon behind them made a noise. “Oh? Oh! No, no!” she laughed, and Dawn watched Katherine’s head up above turn so that they could converse, and somehow it didn’t impede the diapering process by much. “Please, take your time!” “I promise we’ll be done soon!” Katherine lightheartedly apologized anyway, and Dawn felt no need to contribute. “Mommy…!” The girl complained again. Just maybe, what if she could be an actual baby? An Amazon-born one? Not one just picked up off the streets? It would have been nice to know this casual chatter wasn’t so morbidly fucked like every other Amazon, but by the same token, it’d make Dawn feel even worse. What a thought: she was laying in the same place that not only babified Littles got changed, but actual babies too. What made her any different from them? “Uh-oh, cranky?” Katherine laughed. “Cranky…” the other mommy agreed with a sigh. “Nothing we’re not used to, though.” And then in a not so quiet whisper she said, “She gets like this whenever she makes a stinky!” “Awh…poor thing!” She said it right as Dawn felt her thumbs smoothen out the freshly applied adhesives. A new prison for her posterior. After her pants went on, the strap was undone and she was lifted up. Dawn’s head was perched over her shoulder, forced to come face to face with the mother and mind-fucked behind them. Some random person in glasses with what looked like a laptop carrier hanging over her shoulder, paired with a much more bright and green diaper bag to boot, all the while held at her hip…? The sulking, grumpy girl’s face then lit up like the sun once she saw the fellow Little. “DAWN!” the voice shrieked, and collectively all three other folks in the room winced, albeit Dawn a bit more. “Kailey!” the Amazon holding her scolded the girl, only in a much more level voice. “What did we say about shouting inside?” “But! But she’s my friend!” Kailey, the same girl in the dress and yellow sandals from before; frog-lover Kailey, pointed squarely at Dawn. The mommy blinked in surprise, so did Dawn, and especially Katherine. “What? What are you talking about?” Kailey’s guardian gave her an off look, then said to Katherine. “I’m sorry…she’s a bit energetic…” “No, that’s fine!” Katherine laughed, though she sounded a bit confused as well. “Do you know her, Dawn?” and with her own charge held against her hip, Dawn was bounced like a physical cue to have her chime in. All Kailey did then was giggle and wave, and the smell was finally starting to catch up to Dawn. Not her own clean backside, but the one that was still in need of it… “...Y-yeah, we met.” “We’re friends!” Kailey, sounding not very helpful, added to it. Dawn never once remembered becoming friends, more so just this girl forcing herself into an acquaintanceship. Then the girl gasped again, pointing at Katherine this time. “Do you talk to the robots?!” Unless Katherine had some extra job Dawn didn’t know about, that was simply incorrect. She fixed them and performed maintenance. Robots didn’t talk, and even this dimension didn’t seem to have that. It was impossible. And yet in a shocking turn of events, “That’s right!” Katherine smiled, and Dawn gave her a weird look. The answer made Kailey squeal while the Amazon holding her only looked more and more apologetic. “Oh, wait–!” The other Amazon scrunched her face like she was filtering out a memory. “That’s right!” she laughed. “My daughter was saying something like that when I picked her up. She did say she met somebody at the daycare!” And finally acknowledging the Little herself, she smiled as she asked, “Your name must be Dawn?” Daycare? Dawn flinched, resolving it as just a generalization. She did not do daycares, so that was simply impossible. It was the Little Learning Corner, and nothing else. “Yes…I’m Dawn.” Katherine was quiet up until that point, looking from one person to another, only finally jumping in now. “You know my– you know Dawn? She made a friend?” No, she did not. Dawn did not make a friend…! “We sat at story time!” Kailey proudly reminisced like it was meeting a soul mate, only that one of them had ever felt the magic. “I think I was the first one to drop someone off,” Katherine explained, “I work here, so I can’t bring her in any later.” “Ahh!” The woman nodded like the final piece of the puzzle had been found. “I think I remember being in second place, actually!” she laughed. “Oh! And sorry, I don’t have any manners!” Maybe that’s why Kailey didn’t have any either… Ew, low blow. Suddenly Dawn was hit with internal guilt for kicking someone that was already down… So far down. “My name’s Sandra?” the Amazon offered a hand, and Katherine reciprocated. “Katherine. So nice to meet you! I can’t say I keep track of regulars, but do you come here often?” “Not too much, no,” Sandra shook her head. “I just needed to do some research on a drug for my work, and Kailey here was being a little fussy; didn’t wanna dump that on the folks at her usual daycare…!” And the pair shared a motherly laugh, one that Dawn wished Katherine couldn’t participate in. “Yeah? Well she seems like a real sweetheart to me?” Katherine complimented with a grin right at the girl, suddenly going from bold and brave to shy and demure. “A little time with me is usually enough to mellow her out. Well, that and clean diapers.” And just so Dawn wasn’t a decoration as much as Kailey, feeling the need to differentiate, she said to Katherine, “She’s a doctor.” The one other thing she remembered from talking to Kailey. “Oh wow!” Katherine marveled, and Sandra grinned with a crease in her brow. “Do you work at one of the nearby hospitals?” Suddenly the woman was laughing. “Ugh, please…!” Sandra groaned, giving her charge a playfully stern look. “I swear, behind my back Kailey tells everyone she sees that I’m some kind of superhero… I’m just a boring old pharmacist!” A pharmacist. Not a doctor. Dawn had vouched for her, and now she looked just as silly as Kailey, spurring along tall tales and make-believe. Meanwhile, Kailey the culprit simply looked distracted trying to simultaneously follow the conversation and dangle her foot around the edge of Sandra’s sweater jacket. “Awh, don’t act like that!” Katherine laughed, “She’s just proud that her Mommy does something so exciting!” “Mm, well…” the woman chuckled, “As cute as she is, she really knows how to inflate an ego…! Sometimes I wonder just who her actual mommy is! I wish I was a doctor! Just like talking to robots, huh?” “Right?” More shared laughs, more discomfort from Dawn. But the novelty was finally gone for poor Kailey, back to whining with a full diaper now everyone could certainly smell. “Oh, gosh!” Katherine gasped, stepping aside and hooking Dawn’s sneakers off the table with her free hand. “Sorry! All yours!” “Sorry you had to smell mine!” Sandra stepped forward and down Kailey went. “If I had known she was gonna do this, I would have picked her up a little bit later…” “Nothing we’re not used to,” Katherine dropped on a dime, spilling more secrets between her and Dawn like they were free samples. Her cheeks were hot and embarrassed, but at least they were stepping away, thank God. “Nice meeting you!” Katherine waved, and Sandra stuck a hand up from the operating table. “Likewise!” And suddenly Dawn was breathing fresh air again back outside. “Dawn…!” A disappointed voice was suddenly closing in on her. “You never said anything about making a friend!” “Wh-what?” Dawn stammered right back. “I…no, I didn’t. She’s the one that Dayna forced to come over to me? We…we barely even talked.” “She seemed nice, though? Her mommy, too?” Her “mommy,” the pharmacist, not actual doctor “mommy.” Dawn frankly wanted nothing to do with them, but forgoing the route of saying something mean or rude, meekly shrugged. Katherine tucked her mouth into her cheek right back, making a small, pensive look. “Well…okay. My break is just about over, sweetie. Ready to go back?” “Go…back? Where?” “Back with Dayna?” Katherine turned her head. “Wh…what? Why? You came and picked me up, though!” Was this a joke? Didn’t she set her free for a reason? “Dawn, that was just for lunch? It’s not that much longer?” “N-no! Please! Don’t make me go back!” It was an immediate plea. She knew the mess she had caused and the fire she started. If Dayna was vengeful, what if she tried to get back at her for being such a disruption? Was she going to be fair? What if she was like Stacy? Treating Littles like kids all up until they were an adult nuisance, and only then did they dish out cruel treatment. “Dawn…I can’t. Please don’t be upset?” “Wh…why though? I won’t bother you! Can’t you just let me sit with you, or something? A-at a desk? I’ll be quiet! Just don’t bring me back! I don’t want to go!” “Why not, honey?” “Because Dayna! What if she tries to do something to me?” “What do you think she’s going to do?” The look on the Amazons face communicated that she hardly understood what Dawn was getting at. Like any clueless parent, she was just trying to figure out what irrational boogie man was inside her head. “I…I don’t know? Just…something! I made her mad! If she does something to me, I can’t fight back, and you won’t be there! I’m…I’m scared!” It was the truth, and the thought of being delivered right back into the den made her clutch Katherine’s shirt. “Please…! Please don’t make me…!” “Dawn…” Katherine exhaled sadly, and Dawn was nearly quivering from understanding what that implied. There was no alternative, no other answer. She was going back and would be left at the mercy of a stranger she’d started and ended on the wrong foot with. And so they walked, embarking on Dawn’s departure to deathrow. She couldn’t watch. How could she witness her own demise? Keeping her head down, she sulked, not even trying to beg as Katherine’s mind had been made. She likely chalked it all up to babyish behavior blown out of proportion, and that ultimately the grownups knew better. Maybe it was all Dawn’s fault though. Maybe if she had fallen in line there would be the worries or fears of what was to undoubtedly come. She dug her own grave and now all she had to do was lay down and be buried. It was inevitable, and the thought of seeing Dayna again made her heart ache to a point that didn’t even feel right. Why was she scared? She shouldn’t be! She didn’t even do anything that bad…! Kids act up all the time, don’t they? Wasn’t that all Dawn was to her too? So she’d be let off lightly, right? Right? “Excuse me?” Dawn went limp when Katherine spoke up. They were back, weren’t they? Time for dropoff. Back to the internment camp. “Hey, Katherine, have a good lunch?” Wait, that wasn’t Dayna. It sounded like…Grace, was her name? “Oh? Bring back a little snack with you?” “Kind of,” Katherine chuckled, but started to whisper. “Do…do you think you could do me a favor? Dawn’s feeling a little groggy right now… It’s either take her back to Dayna and put her down for a nap, or keep her nearby while she does it. She’s being a bit clingy though,” and there was a soft pat on her padded bottom to boot. “Would you mind if she napped here while we run the front desk?” She…she didn’t take me back to Dayna? Was she covering for me? Actually? “Yeah, sure, that’s fine,” Grace agreed nonchalantly, and Dawn was ready to squeal a bit herself about Katherine’s best friend, and now Dawn’s. “I’m fine with it, but are you okay if someone else sees?” “I’m gonna give her a corner under the desk…” Katherine explained, though she didn’t sound so keen about it either. “I’m glad I packed her a pillow and blanket though.” “So now’s her usual nap time?” Hardly. Never was nap time because naps didn’t happen for Dawn. “Working on it,” Katherine said as they sat down in an adjacent chair. “It was either gonna happen now or start on the car ride home… But you’re sure you don’t mind?” “Yeah, no biggie for me. I wouldn’t try to let anyone else see, though. Awh, she asleep already?” “She’s definitely tired,” Katherine hiked her up some, and Dawn kept her eyes shut, opting for as much believability as she could. If Katherine was giving her a way out, Dawn was finally going to cooperate. “From the sound of it she’s been drinking juice all day and I just fed her some lunch… Sorry, could you hand me that jacket from the diaper bag?” “Sure…” Dawn quietly listened to the rummaging. “This one?” “Perfect,” Katherine took it and did something close to the floor. “And down we go…” And down Dawn did go. Right on the somewhat hard floor, but she was cushioned by a thin layer of material underneath. Katherine’s jacket, apparently. But her head did get a pillow. Did Katherine really pack something like that? Was she really planning on a nap? Dawn stretched her legs, remembering her lack of shoes, and suddenly that question felt a little bit more answered. This really was premeditated? “Dawn?” A soft voice whispered into her ear. “Not a peep, okay? Naptime, understood?” She had half a mind to ask if she could read that book, but Dawn wasn’t looking to earn herself a trip back to jail. “Mhm…” Dawn murmured back. Fine. The next best thing to reading really was sleep. No expectations to do anything but keep to herself. For once she would concede to a nap, only because it suited her wants and nothing more. It wasn’t giving in or being obedient, but instead furthering her own interests. Call it a low blow though, one Dawn couldn’t react to without making a scene, but with her eyes closed and unable to anticipate what might come next, she had no way of dodging the silent peck on her cheek. “Sleep tight…!” Katherine softly whispered, and Dawn tried to not make a face, pretending even to Katherine that she was already out like a light. The desk hanging over her was like a pseudo artificial darkness, offering a good amount of shade just to simulate the darkness. It was enough if she turned the other way to face the wall of the desk. But this was it. All she had to do was close her eyes, and just maybe, hopefully, once she opened them the day would be over. The library will have been conquered and triumphed, and she will have survived. A…victory?

Please Read this before reading that! Hi everyone! This has been a busy year for me that's led to a lot of inactivity as far as the DD board goes. I've been neglecting a public release schedule that I've promised before, and I plan on making good on that now. I'm sure many of you have heard about many creators from this community losing their Patreons, and I wasn't an exception. The situation sucks, but I'm working on putting things back together. That includes a new Subscribestar which is live now with all the latest chapters of Sheltered and Illegal Immigrant. Slowly moving forward I'll be reuploading previously lost content and stories alongside new stuff that will be coming in more regularly. If you are a previous patron and want to know where I am now, that's where I'll be! There is a public post on that page which goes into a little more detail about everything and my plans moving forward, but regarding here on the board, I'm planning to return to a regular release schedule. With that included, I have Patreon stories that I've featured on here in an incomplete state; I'll be trying to find those and post the remaining halves since it has been quite some time now. But for starters, please enjoy two chapters from Sheltered and Illegal Immigrant. I never imagined myself reaching quite this point as being a creative with diaper stuff, but to everyone that reads or plays my stuff and in some way is entertained by it, has thoughtful feedback, comments or considerations, thank you! Maybe in a way this reset will get me back into some better habits. As per usual, please stay tuned, and consider dropping by the Subscribestar! Thank you! Also, I'm making space for some short-story commissions at $15/1000words (10k words or less) if you're interested! For those who have discussed and we've agreed upon commissions prior, yours will not be affected. Admittedly this is a way to recoup missed opportunities given the circumstances. But aside from all that, please read and enjoy! 46 - First day on the Job “And you’re not forgetting anything?” Joyce warned her one last time. They stood on the final frontier; the point of no return. “No, I’m not…” Emily tried not to sound pensive, folding her hands in her lap. Why was she nervous? Ugh, it’s because Joyce was making her nervous! “Did you bring your phone? I wanna call you at lunch.” Joyce explained, then blurted out right after, “–But don’t think that means you can’t call me any sooner, okay?” “Joyce, aren’t you overreacting?” “Overreacting?” Had she not been sitting, Joyce would’ve taken a step back in shock. “Emily, it’s your first day! I want to make sure you have everything you need!” “And I do…” Emily puffed her cheek as she glanced at her side. Her arm and wrist were covered by sleek and puffy coat material. Pastel blue, because even in her everyday wardrobe now the colors were getting more and more livelier. One second she was hearing the cars and traffic nearby, but the next was a loud zipper traveling up her front. “Joyce! Stop!” “It’s gonna be cold, Emily! Don’t you wanna stay warm?” “You’re worrying too much…!” Emily pouted, but even she couldn’t deny the humor, especially when Joyce could get so “serious” like this. “The door is right there!” And she leaned out from her seat just to let her finger travel across Joyce’s lap and out the window, right on the other side of the sidewalk. Joyce turned her head to follow, showing her face again with a much more conflicted expression. “W-well…what if the wind gets really strong once you get out?” And all Emily did was sigh as she pulled down the zipper enough to free her face. “It’s not gonna be that bad…” “Urgh…I know,” Joyce grumbled, too disappointed with how the world worked and how little she could do (but of course, doing so “little” was a personal assessment by Joyce). Then with a hopeful smile, she asked, “Did you wanna bring Pip with you?” Instantly Emily’s head whipped and spun on a swivel, taking a second for the same motion to reach the ends of her hair. She turned and latched her hands on the corner of her seat like a gargoyle perching on the edge of a building. “Joyce! You didn’t actually bring him!” Emily cried in nothing short of embarrassment. Her first guess was to look in the back seats where contraband and stowaways were the easiest to hide, but thankfully they were empty. “Th…that one was a joke,” Joyce gave it up quickly, though she tried not to giggle with a hand covering her face. “Does that mean you would’ve wanted me to?” “No,” Emily pouted, “it doesn’t.” Then she settled back into her seat. The car was parked and wouldn’t be going anywhere. Not until Emily got out. “...Now you’re making me nervous…” A comforting hand dropped on her thigh. “Don’t be…it’s just the mommy in me?” Joyce gave her an apologetic look, but all Emily could see was the emptiness in her partner’s eyes. There was no mommy hiding inside of her because it was already out and about, worn on her sleeve like a badge. She’d already taken out all the tools from her shed and was tinkering with her little project like always. “You’re gonna do great. You’re gonna have fun, and then you’re gonna tell me all about it tonight. Understood?” “Mhm…” Emily nodded, tightening her grip and filling the car with a crinkle. And quite surprisingly, the noise almost made Joyce wince. It was far from the crinkles she liked to hear. While it came from her little girl’s lap, she was unfortunately out of diapers today and back to playing pretend grownup. The crinkle coming from her lap was a folded paper bag filled with only the finest cuisine to tide Emily over at lunch time. The crude, last-minute solution they had to use because Emily refused to bring anything else. “You know…” Joyce side-eyed the paper bag in her lap and hands, “we can still pick out a nice lunch box after work today?” “I said I didn’t need one…!” Emily groaned right back, remembering the “argument” they already had about this multiple times already. Frankly, bringing homemade lunch to work was somewhat of a novel concept to the girl. More often than not it’d been finding someplace nearby to eat outside the office; a time that felt like a millennia ago. “Why? Do you think it’s embarrassing?” Joyce was quick to the point when she asked. “N–…yes. A little…” Emily admitted bashfully. The last time she had a lunch box was when she was in elementary school. The only association she had was from being in the fourth grade with a small meal prepared the night before by her mom. She remembered the zippered lid, the ice packs her dad always kept in the freezer, and the slight bit of condensation that always lined the pouch when she opened it up. Since Emily was putting herself out on a limb, it was one of the few times when Joyce didn’t completely devour her. “Em, adults use them all the time? They make ones without designs on them, you know?” And Joyce was hating herself every second for suggesting it. A lunch box without a cute look to it? If only Emily had a favorite cartoon…! Dreams were often easily forgotten, but even with a slight blur Joyce could recall the “Day-One Daycare” dream. Such a good one, too. If only this Emily could be just as excited about it… But that was the challenge, and of course the real Emily was always the best. “I know they do, I’m just being…weird. I haven’t used one since I was a kid, so…yeah.” “Mmhm,” Joyce nodded understandingly, though that didn’t make her look at the paper bag with any less disdain. It was like a personal stain on her record as a mother. As Emily’s mommy. The looks she would get. The stares. The judgment. Her ability to care for her baby would be called into question, and the anxiety would eat the woman away because she would doubt herself too… Just like she was doubting herself now. Be forceful? Buy her one anyway? Then Emily would be upset…but how upset? The kind that she’d easily forgive and forget? Ugh! Balancing the grownup and toddler inside Emily was always so difficult… Though, only with time had she been slowly nurturing and caring for that smaller voice inside her partner’s head. Ironically, the baby in Emily’s brain was growing up. That was always exciting to think about. Little by little, slowly but surely, another side of Emily was becoming more and more prominent. But again, Joyce wasn’t malicious, nor was she cunning with any ill-intent. It was all a natural progression with just a little guidance… This was all a product from mutual hard work, and to even have these “difficult” discussions and think that these sorts of things were just a testament to what things were like now. Every day was a gift, and every exhaustion, crying fit, problem, trial or tribulation was only possible because they’d come so far. And so much further they could go… And by the time Joyce was done appreciating the moment, her lips were pulling back from Emily’s. “Don’t be so self-conscious, okay?” The energy had clearly shifted, now after a kiss Emily could see the soft and tender look on her girlfriend’s face. Something clearly must have struck a chord for her, and that always tempered Emily awfully fast. “I know…thank you.” “No, thank you,” Joyce smiled, and it finally gave her the strength to undo her seatbelt. “Can I give you a hug on the sidewalk?” And yet she didn’t feel the need to ask for permission to kiss. That contradiction didn’t go over Emily’s head and she burst out laughing. “That’s what you ask permission for? Yes, you can.” A few seconds later both women were by the car, embracing each other like it was the last time they’d see each other again. “...Shouldn’t you hurry?” Emily worriedly asked, pressed against her partner’s bosom. “I feel bad you’re going in late today…” “Emily,” Joyce scoffed, rolling her eyes. “This is obviously more important than that.” And on a similar note that she would not be sharing, Joyce shuddered when it crossed her mind. Knowing Sheila a bit better now… She’d likely even understand… “Have fun today, okay?” Joyce reminded her, and Emily didn’t look too pleased to hear the encouragement. “It’s work, Joyce, I’m not here to play!” Emily stressed, but even she had her initial doubts. She just wanted it to be what she’d been searching for this whole time. But by the fact of how supportive Joyce was being right now, the truth was obvious. Joyce was clear already that she didn’t like Emily’s relationship with work, or at least in searching for it. If they found a medium that made Emily feel productive and put Joyce at ease, maybe it wasn’t actual work at all. But then again, maybe it wasn’t an actual job that Emily needed… Regardless, this was temporary, and Emily in the back of her mind was still coaching herself to keep pumping out applications. Without a doubt she would be going right back to it. Even if Joyce felt differently… “Okay, then how about this: have a good day?” “Mmm… Okay, that one works,” Emily nodded with approval, and Joyce laughed, hugging her tighter. “You know, I could always just pay you to be my pretty office decoration?” “Yeah, but then I’d have to live in your office all the time?” “Emily, I own the company…I’m allowed to take things from my office back home.” “But what if you forgot me one time?” “I wouldn’t.” “But what if you did?” “I wouldn’t because I won’t forget.” “But what if–!” “Okay,” Joyce in a much more stand-offish attitude lightly shoved Emily back like she was leftover lunch, and Emily couldn’t stop giggling. “Nuh-uh. I’m done with you. Go! Shoo!” And despite the laughing, Joyce played the part of the disinterested by crossing her arms and turning the other cheek. It’s exactly why she was nearly thrown off balance when Emily collided with her again. “Sorry!” Emily giggled, squeezing her all over again. “Wanted one last hug.” Joyce hugged back, but finally let her go. “Okay, and for real this time: have a good day!” She gave her a small wave while watching her charge walk just a short distance over to the brick steps of a familiar store. “Bye!” Emily waved again, opening up the door with a jingling bell. “Tell Amy I said hi!” Then the door closed and Emily was gone. Finally alone, the goosebumps and the butterflies were sprouting in full force. If she didn’t get back in the car, poor Joyce would’ve been pacing. Her first day…her first day…! Joyce’s lips quivered, tightening her grip on the wheel with no clear sense of self. It wasn’t like daycare, unfortunately, but how couldn’t she be proud…?! Emily. Her Emily was starting her first day of work! And an emotionally frustrated whine took the sound of her car’s silent ignition. “Today better go by quick…!” Emily waited long enough to turn and look out the front store display to see that Joyce had left. It was silly, but the absence hit her with a strange sense of loneliness, like she really had just been dropped off for the day. A whole day away from home, without Joyce, and in a not so familiar place with a fresh face that likely had more than the bare minimum expectations Joyce always kept for her. But those same standards were being kept with Emily and held against Amy, who was characteristically not at the front of her own business. “Amy?” Emily called out somewhat quietly. What if she had someone with her in the back of the store? That’s what she did for all of her clients, right? Joyce was one of hers…and come to think of it, Emily was too. Though, she didn’t quite handle any of the actual business that had to do with herself. She turned her head around, almost expecting a scare to sneak up on her, but there wasn’t anything. This was feeling eerily similar like the first time Joyce brought her here, only now it was just Emily to figure out the mystery. Should I call Joyce…? Wait! What?! What was she thinking? Why did Joyce have to fix her problems? Who even said there was one? It was just an assumption; one that Emily out of reflex didn’t even try to solve herself. Awkwardly, she walked behind the front desk, almost expecting some kind of alarm to go off, but either Amy wasn’t paying for upkeep on her security system, or it was all just part of Emily’s imagination. Either way, the only noise was from her own footsteps and bagged lunch slipping deeper into the domain. And just in case if the universe still needed justification for her bold behavior, the girl muttered quietly, “I do work here after all…” Sort of, at least. The questionable employee peeked inside the workshop, dressing and display room. The sofas were empty, a nearby table with pins, threads and tiny cushions looked busy, but ultimately unattended. The multi-tiered stage surrounded by mirrors had no doll to debut clothes, and frankly the store was feeling quite empty. “How does she just leave this place unlocked…?” Emily found herself making comments again, mindlessly tidying a small pile of sketch papers. It was a messy workshop, but Emily could only guess that there was a method to the madness. She peered up and around at the wood panel ceilings, only then seeing the one truly spotless place in the room that she herself sure wasn’t one to talk. Emily made messes too, only that she had a mommy to clean them up for her. “Amy?” Emily called with another sigh, finally making for the stairs up to her apartment. Keeping her manners first, she knocked on the front door, waiting patiently by its side. Then…she knocked again. And…again. “Come on…” with a tinge of impatience, Emily went for the handle and turned. And all forms of security and privacy be damned, this door had been left unlocked too. It was the same, cleanly and modest industrial apartment she remembered from the first time. The same couch where she waited for Joyce and Amy to talk business downstairs… But finally, after wandering from the entrance, through the store and finally to the proprietor’s very home, Emily was finally greeted. The uncertainty fizzled a tiny bit and her frown perked into a cute smile. With a sparkle in her eyes, Emily cooed out, “Ashes!” Obviously it wasn’t Amy, and obviously Emily would have to keep searching, but that didn’t change that she was suddenly catching up with an old friend. The black ball of fur was patrolling on the square of countertop in the open kitchen, meowing as his pursuit was instant. His gait was sly and smooth and despite the speed his paws moved with grace! From off the counter he hit a chair, and from the chair and onto the floor. With no more jumps needing to be taken, the cat wasted no time in strutting right on over to the girl. Emily dropped to her feet, already pleased to be remembered so fondly. Even in her jeans she could feel his body brush against her legs, clearly working hard to cast a new coat of cat on her to reclaim ownership. Joyce just couldn’t win… “Did you miss me?” She giggled as she held out her hand and Ashes walked right through it from head to tail, arching his back just to feel it brush his body all over. He purred while she pet, and the reunion was sweet and refreshing. “Ashes, do you know where Amy is?” Yes, it was silly to ask a cat that sort of thing, but it was even sillier to think your stuffed animals could be as jealous as your girlfriend. Ashes didn’t speak human tongue, but at least he was something animate and sentient. But instead of a verbal answer, the only thing Emily got was a wiggle from his tail. Though, while Ashes didn’t have anything to say, now when she stopped for a second, Emily could hear a distant noise… Like a rhythmic repetition. “It’s not my fault if she didn’t meet me at the entrance, right?” Emily asked Ashes, and thank goodness the silence didn’t mean no. After one last pet Emily rose to her feet and that sent Ashes pacing circles around her like a shark in the water. Though once she started moving, suddenly he had become her personal escort, taking to her side the whole trip down the hallway, venturing closer to the mysterious noise. She stopped short of a seemingly normal, inconspicuous door. But alas, if her personal secrets taught her anything, that meant anything seemingly normal could lead to the farthest things from it. So instead she knocked this time. “Amy?” Emily called as she knocked, waiting for an answer. Nothing, but the noise was certainly behind this door. She looked down at Ashes who was already looking up at her, giving the feline friend a “what gives?” kind of face. “It’s not my fault if she’s not gonna listen…! Amy!” Emily raised her voice, knocking louder again. And finally, something changed. The noise a second later had stopped, then finally she heard naked feet moving across the floor. Closer and closer…right until–! The door swung open and Emily reflexively took a step back, face to face with her person that she was supposed to meet. “Oh, Emily!” Amy blinked then smiled. Her hair was pulled back into a bun with a pair of headphones resting around her neck. She smiled, but then frowned as her eyes looked like they were trying to see her own thoughts. “Wait…oh, wait,” she looked up and down, recalling where they were and where they were meeting right then. “Oh shoot! What time is it? Agh…! Sorry! Really sorry! I was supposed to be waiting for you downstairs!” “Uhm…it’s okay, I just…wasn’t sure if I should come up here or not.” “No, no!” Amy waved her off dismissively. “It’s good that you did. I usually listen to music while I work… Sorry I didn’t hear you knock at all. Uhm…” she pursed her lips as with her body taking up the doorway, she peered back into the room behind her. “Think you could give me a sec?” she gave an apologetic smile. “I’ve got uh…top secret stuff. Just lemme go hide it, kay?” “K…ay…?” Emily repeated, and her own awkwardness didn’t impact Amy’s delight. “Thanks! See Ashes already found you!” she laughed, then shut the door again. Both pets standing in the hallway exchanged another wordless look with each other. But turning on her shoe, Emily with her escort walked back down the hall. It may have been making use of an expired offer, but Emily sat down on Amy’s couch with a stiff posture, holding her hands on her knees while she waited. With enough space between her backside and the couch, it left ample room for Ashes like any other cat to make surgical and affectionate movements by creeping behind her just to sit on her right side. “Why do you like me so much…?” Emily wondered with a grin, petting the cat some more. At least with Joyce Emily could try and ask her questions, even if she didn’t always fully understand the answer. Maybe the magic in that mystery made it all seem unconditional. Fitting for a mommy, but perplexing for a cat she’d only met on a few occasions. An affinity for pets, perhaps? “Sorry, sorry!” Amy returned with the same energy Emily always seemed to know her for. She was short of her headphones and just in some loose pants and a long sleeve shirt. “Were you waiting long? Not just now, but like,” she twirled her finger in the air, “since you got here?” “No…not too long,” Emily shook her head. “Do you really keep all your doors unlocked though?” “No, not usually!” Amy pleaded for mercy as she excused herself to the kitchen. “I knew you were coming, so I left things unlocked just in case…” she explained over the noise of her fridge filling a glass with water. “I know, it’s bad. I’m scrambled enough to forget to keep track of the time, but reasonable enough to keep from having you locked out… So…?” She shifted her tone and hung her head over the window looking into both rooms. “How’ve ya been?” “I’ve been…good,” Emily answered, though in a very delicate manner. She was brave enough to have done what she did when she called Amy the first time, dressing in Joyce’s clothes, but she sure didn’t want to share it. In fact, it felt like there was a whole lot of her life that was just off limits to conversation topics now. Every talking point now somehow involved her in diapers with Joyce… Maybe if she just skirted some of the unnecessary details… “Hmm?” Amy hummed curiously, but kept a knowing look on her face. “Yeah? That’s good. How about Joyce? Has she been busy or are you two up to stuff regularly?” Stuff? What did she mean by stuff? Was she implying…? Or was it just a normal kind of “stuff?” “She’s been…good. U-us too, yeah. Yeah…” “Would it be easier if I talked about myself?” Amy politely asked, and as shameful as it was, Emily had an appreciative look. So right after laughing, Amy took the lead. “I always seem to be working on something! But it’s the good kind of busy. Lots of different things people want, so, you know, gets the creative juices flowing and stuff.” Emily found herself asking, “Do you take breaks?” “Sometimes!” Amy groaned with a stretch leaning from side to side. “I take the usual holidays off, but other times I might take an unscheduled sorta thing. Can’t say I go far though,” she pointed her finger right at Emily, or rather, the animal right next to her. “Got my hands full with that little guy.” Emily nodded, petting the cat again. “Thanks again so much for agreeing to help me out, by the way! Having the occasional assistant is a huge help for me,” and then she caught Emily right before she could interject, “--even if that assistant can’t sew!” “Yeah, of course,” Emily smiled, but the awkwardness didn’t subside. Does she even really need my help? This isn’t even a job-job…it’s just to keep me busy… Did Joyce ask her to do this? Was this all some big plan just to get me out of the house? “Oh!” Amy stammered, and Emily blinked back in surprise. “What’re you still doing with your jacket on?” She walked over immediately, beckoning with her hands as a sign for Emily to disrobe. “Be comfy, okay? Not like there’s a dress code, or anything…” and suddenly a second set of hands was taking the jacket off her, and Emily watched her deposit it on one of the few hooks still empty by the door. “Shoes too!” she barked without even needing to turn, and with a jolt Emily was already fidgeting with her laces. Apparently Amy put the “Fuck that!“ in formal. “Is this your lunch?” Amy was already picking the bag up off the floor. “W-wait, I can get that!” Emily reached for the bag, but she was too late. Maybe if she could’ve kept her mouth shut it wouldn’t have happened, but the urgency must have compelled Amy to look. She lifted the bag just a bit higher, softening her look once she saw it. “D’awh…!” Amy fawned at the seemingly normal paper bag, then kept leaning out just to see the look on poor bashful Emily’s face. “Did Joyce write this? Does she always do stuff like this?” “N-no…” It wasn’t even the right word, but for lack of a better one given how embarrassed Emily was suddenly feeling, Joyce had exacted her revenge on being denied a dedicated lunch box for her girl. “How else are we gonna know which lunch is yours?” Joyce said in a not so distant memory. “Guess we’ll know which is yours,” Amy chuckled, and Emily wanted to go back into hiding. On the front of her bag, illustrated in thick black marker was a large heart with Emily’s name, all in big capital letters scribbled right on it. Maybe I should have just turned the bag inside out… “Does it need to be refrigerated?” Amy asked as she was already taking it away. “Yes please… Only if you have the space…?” “Yes, I have the space! Emily, don’t be so stiff! Can I get you something to drink? Sit back on the couch some more!” “Sorry…” Emily muttered as she did as she was told and “got comfortable.” “Don’t apologize either,” Amy said as she shut the fridge door. “So how’d you get here?” “Joyce dropped me off… I feel bad because she’s going in late today because of me.” An alternative could have easily been worked out, especially just either from taking the train or a bus; something Emily in a pre-Joyce era wasn’t a stranger to. This wasn’t even considering being a burden to Joyce’s chauffeur. “Well I think she wouldn’t have if it would’ve actually been a problem, Emily,” Amy said as she forced a glass of water into Emily’s hands. And having an unfortunate track record with open cups on solfas, Emily was quick to stand up with her drink, wandering over to one of the bar stools. “You don’t work on weekends, do you?” Emily asked after sipping her water. “Mmm…well,” Amy’s eyes started to dramatically drift, “If it tends to be something fun, I can sort of be a slave to it… It’s kinda like a fifty-fifty.” “Is it okay for me to ask what you were working on in there?” Emily pointed past her shoulder and at the door just a little bit further down the hall. “Sure, you can ask,” Amy smiled, then smirked, “but that doesn’t mean I have to answer? Top secret is top secret, unfortunately. More importantly, it’s still a bit early, isn’t it? Did you have breakfast already?” she pulled back and turned in place, surveying her kitchen like it was her first time seeing it. “We…have…stuff. Mm, yeah. We have stuff if you’re hungry. Want anything?” “No, that’s fine,” Emily politely refused. “Uhm…Joyce already made me something.” “Oh yeah? Is she a good cook?” “Yeah, she’s honestly really good… She’s really amazing at everything she does, it feels like.” In spite of her flaws, those felt like the only pesky little technicalities that kept her girlfriend from seeming like genuine perfection. Maybe that was just the love talking, though. “Oh,” Amy suddenly scoffed, and Emily gave her a weird look. “Hm? Oh! No, definitely, Joyce is an awesome person. Buuut…” Amy started, then pursed her lips. “Actually, never mind!” Emily raised an eyebrow. “What? But what?” She was a gullible and innocent type of girl, hence why she could be baited so easily. Well, that may have been describing her to an extreme, but Joyce had certainly gaslighted her into being one. “Truth be told,” Amy laughed apologetically, “Joyce already gave me a preemptive talking to… Something about not telling you details about her.” “What? She didn’t!” Emily suddenly retorted, and her boss giggled. “She did, I swear!” Amy said, and while she didn’t know, the whole reason for the restriction was all in part to Emily’s curiosity and Sheila’s unexpectedly loose lips. “So sorry, nothing specific about the J-word.” “Really?” Emily asked again, but was already frowning. There wasn’t anything against Amy, of course, but it’d become yet another interaction filled with redactions by someone not even present to be censoring things live. “Really,” Amy confirmed, “really…ish.” “-ish?” Emily squinted just so she could read better in between the lines. “-ish as in: keep chatting me up and yeah I’ll probably let something slip,” Amy shrugged like it was something simply inevitable. Emily was certainly here to work and get things done, but she’d be lying if she said that Amy’s casual approach wasn’t comforting. All the same though, it was wearing down any sense of officiality that this got together may have had. Shifting topics, Emily asked, “So if I’m gonna help clean up, you mean your workshop downstairs?” “The workshop? Oh, the studio?” Amy clarified. “That sounds like a great idea, actually! Would it work for you if I showed you what you could sort downstairs, then I come back up here to finish some work?” “Top secret stuff?” “Super top secret,” Amy nodded affirmatively like her life depended on it. “Don’t worry though, once I finish up what I need to on an order, I’ll come down and work with ya. Makes it easier to chat that way. You can give me dirt on Joyce while you’re at it, too.” “You want me to give up secrets on Joyce?” “Of course! Just because I’m not supposed to talk about her, doesn’t mean you can’t? Unless…did she give you a gag order too?” “No, she didn’t,” Emily grinned, suddenly learning just all the mischief Amy seemed to have. “But actually, would you rather I waited to start…? I don’t wanna take your workspace from you.” Was it the reason why she was working out of a room in her apartment this morning? Because she planned on Emily coming over? “You’re not taking up my workspace, though?” The confusion wasn’t exclusive, but soon it was once Amy struck something inside her head. “Actually, guess I never told you or Joyce. Downstairs is kinda just the dressing-slash-studio area. I use that to let clients try their stuff on in-house where I can get feedback pretty quickly. Up here in my apartment is where I really get work done. Actually, we took your measurements downstairs that one time, didn’t me?” “Uh…yeah, we did…” Emily answered much more weakly once the memory hit her in full. It was the first time they had met and all three of them were in the back room. It was the same day Joyce wanted to run some “errands” and that was the last one of the day. Errands were all well and good, however what wasn’t was when Joyce was pushing the envelope on things. All she remembered about her clothes was that they were snug and one of her first dreaded diapers was hiding underneath… And just seeing Amy from across the kitchen window made her feel squeamish just remembering how close this woman was against her in one of her most vulnerable moments. Her padded rump contributed to those very numbers she’d been measuring and could have skewed her sizes… But they didn’t. They didn’t because she had worn something made by Amy before and it fit her perfectly. In other words, Amy knew about the diaper factor, and that was either because Joyce had told her or it was easy enough to determine that herself. Was it because of that day Amy had started to know? Or was it something else? Coincidence? Bad luck, or calculated plans? She was peppy, cheery and funny; all the things that made it so difficult to read any kind of ulterior thoughts and feelings. It made Emily want to ask, but she didn’t. She couldn’t. It was a double-edged sword. Just to satisfy the morbid curiosity she could learn to ignore, she’d be throwing the spotlight on something so touchy all over again. And when her back was turned, Emily gave Amy another judgmental look. This was the first time with each other alone and she was as lax as could be; like it was just another day with another friend. How could she just do that? Unbeknownst to Emily, Joyce often felt conflicted by the same exact things… “Ready to take a trip downstairs?” Amy asked. “Sure…oh, I can take care of that?” Emily reached for her own cup as Amy took it away. “Don’t worry, I’m closer, anyway!” “Okay… Thanks.” “No problem! If there’s anything you want, just let me know, okay? Or you can get it yourself, if you’re feeling brave,” Amy chuckled, and Emily smiled back. “Wait, what happens if someone comes to the store when you’re upstairs?” It was an important question as they were headed down the stairs. “Mmm, that shouldn’t happen. No one’s scheduled to come in earlier today. Just in case though, shoot me a text or give me a call, kay? I can take care of it from there. Either way, it shouldn’t come to that!” “Mhm…” and Emily hoped the same. She didn’t like the idea of dealing with people on day one, especially in a role that felt as formless as a block of untouched clay. Where was the training? The orientation? She really was just coming over to a friend’s house…except without all the experience as friends…and she was getting paid. How much, she had no idea, but nor was she planning on asking. Being paid to stay busy in general right now was technically what she’d been looking for, and given how pseudo supportive Joyce had been, it probably wouldn’t end well if Emily outright refused. Not that she wanted to. “Didn’t you say you needed me to try on some stuff for you?” Emily added as she watched Amy tidy up stray ends of her messes. “Yyyyes! Yes, I did. That’s actually what I’m gonna bring down later. Oh–” and Amy turned her head to follow something around the room, casting a scowl. “Don’t suppose you mind company?” “Hm?” Emily asked but was answered by a purring head rubbing against her again. “Ashes? S-sorry…” She apologized, and her four-pawed friend didn’t seem to mind much when she lifted him, gently holding his hanging body against hers. “I didn’t close the door; do you want me to bring him back up?” “Believe me, I love him, but he’s always playing with my fabrics! I swear, he does it just because he knows it bothers me…!” and Amy made sure to give her seemingly innocent pet a death stare. “But nah,” she smiled again, “he can stay down here since there’s no customers. If you get tired of him though, just lock him back upstairs. So, that means best behavior, got it?” Amy warned her cat, and all Ashes did was meow right back. With an understanding probably having been reached, Emily set the cat back down, leading him to quietly slip away, always hanging nearby and in sight. Amy’s gaze followed her pet with the same playful disdain she always seemed to have for him. “Y’know, maybe I can convince you two to babysit him just so I can go on a real vacation…” “Really?” Emily asked honestly, and Amy laughed. Amy chuckled, sounding like she wasn’t quite serious until Emily. “Yeah? I’m sure he’d be low maintenance around you two. Whenever Joyce comes by he always wants to play with her.” “Really? Does Joyce like pets?” It never quite crossed Emily’s mind. They didn’t talk about that much, if at all. “She seems like it…but, I don’t think she’s super keen on having one permanently.” “What’d she say?” “Mmm…I’m gonna leave it at that,” Amy deflected, looking like she was reminiscing on a sweet memory. “However! Joyce likes cute things. That’s your little factoid for the hour.” “So that means you’re gonna tell me more?” “That means my head is gonna be on a stake if I tell you too much. Gosh, you really don’t know how scary your girlfriend can be, you know?” “Yes I do!” Emily quipped back with a laugh. And going for a case and point, Emily started to say, “Like a few weeks ago, Joyce went to this investor thing, and she left the nurs–” and as fast as she fell into the story the realization hit her like a brick wall. Her eyes went wide and the panic was immediate. In her haste to contribute to the conversation and share a story she’d gone out on a limb she wasn’t supposed to. The room was quiet, and Emily was afraid to look at Amy head on. Did she notice what she was about to say, or was she just confused? Was it obvious that Emily messed up? Was she just going to let it go? “Yeah? What about your nursery?” The word was used and a sentence was finished, but it didn’t come from Emily. It didn’t come from Ashes, either. It came from the one other person privy not only to Emily’s diapers, but apparently her nursery now, too. If Amy didn’t know about it before, Emily clearly tipped off to it now. Emily balled her hand as she crookedly straightened out, glancing up at Amy who looked just as interested and curious like it was any other conversation topic. She wasn’t seething with judgment, strangeness or disgust. Just simple, transparent interest. Like any good listener would be. “Uh-uhm…nevermind…” Emily retreated with a quiet voice, but the attitude Amy had didn’t shift. “Okay,” Amy shrugged with a smile, acting like they’d just been talking about the weather, or something equally normal or socially acceptable. Did…did she even realize what she just said? She used the N-word! Nursery! Was that lingo for a workshop or something in the seamstress world, or did she actually know? She had to…she’s seen Emily in a diaper before…! “Want me to show you the best spots to start?” Amy didn’t skip a beat in asking the next question, moving on like they hadn’t hit a single bump. Carrying the conversation and keeping the rhythm as always. “Sure…” Emily agreed and followed her over to some shelves in the wall, now coming off as much more self-conscious. “So…it’s a lot of bits and bobs. Like,” Amy looked around the immediate space. “A lot. You can use these if you want,” she pulled out plastic drawer after drawer, showing and explaining where most stuff once was, and probably should still be. “And don’t worry about those high shelves…!” Amy groaned as she stretched on her toes, failing to reach as a live example. “I gotta get on a chair for those…” And another fun piece of information that Emily didn’t get to know: Joyce would kill Amy if Emily had to be in a high place… “So yeah? Just try to piece things out and maybe just sort what seems like they should go together. Anything’s better than what I have now, honestly.” “Uhm…okay, sure. Yeah, I can do that,” Emily nodded, and Amy smiled appreciatively. “Great! I’ll try to hurry up and finish upstairs so we can get started on some things down here. Remember: call me if you need me, and kick this guy out if he gets too annoying.” After one more nod, Emily let Amy leave, focusing herself on the mess Amy had left her to work on. “Oh, and Emily?” She turned her head, finding Amy crouched on the final step. “With everything I’ve done with Joyce, I don’t mind chatting about stuff like that?” And just in case there was room for misunderstanding, “Now you’ve got me all curious about the nursery!” she grinned and laughed. “Promise I’m good for venting, so if ya feel like it, chat away!” Then she left, and Emily stood by herself, feeling her anxieties stalking her from the high shelves out of reach. “How…” Emily whispered, “how can she just say it so easily…?” Talking was difficult. Very difficult. Good thing she didn’t have to do that now, though. The only conversation she had to have was one with Ashes, remembering to pet and pamper him and his fur every moment or so while she became engrossed in a therapeutic deep clean. Working for the woman holding second place in the diaper-spotting contest… And just as casual about it, apparently… “Thank you for moving my meetings up, Sheila…” Joyce dropped the passing remark as she walked by her employee’s station and into her office. “Of course, Ms. Summers,” Sheila answered on her tail with a bundle of papers in hand. “Do you want to hear what you have today?” “...Sure,” Joyce answered as she took her seat behind the desk. “There was an earlier brief this morning on adjusting the amount of volume we’re producing for ventilators… After that you were scheduled to take a look at a few internal reports, but that can be done at any point this week…” Sheila rambled and listed, but Joyce was already staring off in space. “Ms. Summers?” “H-hm?” Joyce’s head perked up and the finger leaning against her temple fell back on the polished wood. “Yes?” “Do you need me to repeat any of that?” “...No. A volume report, right? Just give me some advance before it’s time for that… Is there something I can do from my computer?” Work was stupid. Make no mistake, Joyce liked it, and sometimes even loved it. She absolutely did, but not as much as she loved Emily. She loved her so much that any new situation for her girlfriend was just secondhand shakes and worries for the supposedly dominant one in the relationship. Joyce could be fragile when Emily was, and at least to her attentive, snooping secretary the signs were just as obvious. “Is everything okay, Ms. Summers?” Sheila asked, but naturally a whirlwind of thoughts were going through her head. Not only for whether things were truly fine, but also what might be causing it… For starters, it wasn’t hard to imagine that coming in late today was part of the equation. “Everything’s fine, it’s just…” Just…nothing. “Nevermind.” There was no change in the look her secretary was giving her, but Joyce knew immediately she had already given her more than enough crumbs to work with. How was she supposed to hide secrets from someone she had to work so closely with? From the person responsible for managing her entire day? In order to separate Sheila from what she partially slipped herself into, it required Joyce to impede what was her very job. How ironic. How difficult. And in Sheila’s shoes, she was deep in thought. Crunching numbers and considering alternatives, but every simulation seemed to end in upsetting her boss… Sheila remembered their meeting after her night with Emily quite vividly. It was a clear sign she had crossed a line, both because she overstepped her bounds and her boss had already been pushing her in that direction. A mutual making of the circumstances, but it was what it was. And Sheila had been forthright and honest to a fault. There would be no more lies, no more secrets or absences of truth, and that started with confessing her interest and love for what happened with Emily. How much fun it was, how nostalgic. It was being just as honest when she also said that she didn’t quite understand why, or to what degree and what she liked particularly. It was shameful, but she wanted more. Another chance to experience what she had yet to fully grasp. It was a poor analogy, and a bit cheesy, but she needed more experience. More data? A conclusion couldn’t be reached quite yet, but she wanted another chance… So she looked at her boss quietly, wondering if something like that was even remotely possible anymore. “Okay,” Sheila nodded, letting it stay at that. “Should I bring you something to drink?” “Please.” And Sheila was gone. And Joyce was working, or at least trying to. Too busy thinking about Emily with a head stuffed full of worries, excitement and thoughts she couldn’t even begin to vent. Like many other times it was distracting, and even if she didn’t vent about it normally, just knowing she had to walk on eggshells around Sheila now was what made it that much more difficult. It was simply knowing that she couldn’t talk about it. But it was for the best… It was separating the spheres that mattered. It wasn’t fair to involve Sheila if Joyce was just going to get upset all over again… Lord, she hadn’t even told Emily the full extent yet… So distracting… So distracting… But as conflicted as she felt, it didn’t stop the passage of time. Like all plans though, most seemed to fall through. She had a chance to call Emily during lunch, but it wasn’t long. Of no fault of Sheila’s, but a shifted schedule meant less time to eat and less time to chat. Past the midday, however, what was peculiar was a phone call again from Emily, and so soon? “Emily?” Joyce answered the phone mid-walk down one of the halls of the building. “Hi Joyce…” “What?” Joyce was cradling the phone with both hands. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” “Yeah…” Emily murmured, sounding awfully reserved. “Uhm…can I ask you something?” “Of course you can?” “Can…can I wear a diaper?” 47 - Lunch “Pins should go…” One turn. Two turns. Negative half a turn, and she found the bin. “There.” Sifting through the little things was obviously the biggest problem. In trying to sort and clean through Amy’s workspace, it gave the clueless girl an awful lot of insight into the job of a seamstress, and possibly someone that just lacked organization. To the best of Emily’s knowledge Amy didn’t own a dog, but if she did, a rainbow-colored husky could have very well been the breed. Stringy strands of different colored thread were just about everywhere. God forbid her understanding of the craft was far too shallow, Emily stuck the miscellaneous of the miscellaneous in a different bin conveniently located right next to the waste basket. There were random buttons that seemed missing from a pair or set, but unlike socks at least they had enough individual character to possibly be deemed worthwhile. Hence why Emily had a separate tub just for that, too. After the initial mess was gone, to the untrained eye at a distance, you’d might think Amy’s display room was actually clean. Far from it, however, once you took a fine-toothed comb to it. Or specifically once you had Emily on her hands and knees looking underneath the couch. “How does this get down here…?” She looked down at a spool still thick with unused thread and added it to the rest of the pile. Accumulated messes meant over time the most bizarre things could wind up in the most random places. And as Emily walked around in her thin and flimsy socks, she was hoping dearly that with each logistical failure she found that Amy was at least professional enough to never leave a sewing needle out on the floor… Only halfway through the cleaning though did a simple yet strange thought pop into her head. When was the last time I saw a mess…? It was a broad question to ask with likely a thousand different ways to shoot it down, but thankfully in just the company of herself (and Ashes), she only had to deal with a biased critic. Just about nothing ever seemed to spiral out of control, as of late. When blankets, sheets and comforters got rustled, nine times out of ten Joyce had them straightened out at some point in the day. Emily helped too, but management seemed to be very strict about her doing much of anything other than recreational activities. Such as…playing with toys, or getting handsy with her mommy. But even the toys. Re-learning how to enjoy handheld things that weren’t electronic, or at least didn’t have a digital screen was embarrassingly a novel concept for the modern-age girl. She’d play with Pip, drag him around from one room to another in the apartment, sometimes bring a bottle with her too, but also forget it in other places. Sometimes she may have forgotten Pip too… Emily could leave small messes quite often, but Joyce moved like the wind in her wake to take care of it. And to repeat, it wasn’t like this for a lack of trying. Emily was discouraged from helping clean up. From cleaning up her toys, cleaning her own face, or…actually, on the topic of…not clean, even her own diapers… Maybe that was it? Joyce just liked cleaning? Did that explain why she wanted to be a mommy? And while Emily missed the mark on her thought exercise, she petted her assistant who had yet to contribute anything to the effort other than meows and demands for more affection. Who would ever want someone like that? Emily kept petting the cat anyways, possibly just so she didn’t read into the thought too much. “I wonder what her actual workshop room is like upstairs…” Emily mused, nearly straddling the top of the same couch Ashes was resting on. Then she stroked his fur some more, getting a tad bit distracted. “I wonder if we’d ever get a pet…?” Maybe. Maybe not. Emily wasn’t even sure how Joyce felt about pets, though if personal experience was any indication of anything, she sure was good at taking care of stuff… I wouldn’t want her being the only person who takes care of them, though… Case and point, Emily was certainly a good pet petter. A single finger for chin scratches could make Ashes pur like an engine. But maybe Joyce didn’t want a pet? After all, she essentially had one already. A bubbly, blushing, embarrassed pet that helped out on rare occasion. I’m not a pet… “Emily? You down there?” And she may have sprung off the furniture in a totally not cat-like fashion. “Y-yeah!” the startled employee called up to the banister. The wooden steps whispered tiny creaks and squeaks with each foot dropping by a level. Amy was hunched over, leaning her head into the room with pure awe and an open smile. “Woow! Look at this place!” her head kept turning until it finally ended on Emily with her hands sandwiched between her legs. “It’s almost like I never even touched it!” And while Emily smiled appreciatively, Amy had no qualms in laughing at her own expense. “You did such a great job!” Amy said it again, and it was another pleasant tickle for the girl. “Thank you…but uhm, I still need to organize a few more things…and I didn’t fully check over–” “Oh, that’s fine, it’s fine! You don’t need to do that now,” she shrugged it off. “I wasn’t keeping track of the time; it’s just about time for lunch, isn’t it? Wanna come upstairs and eat?” Was it really that time already? Sure enough, a glance at her phone was indicating a time just shy of noon. Time really did fly by… “Er…” Amy interrupted with an exaggerated worry, “Please come upstairs and eat?” Then her eyes darted around, looking for the bugs or plants that were assuredly listening in on their most secret of conversations. In a not so whisper she said, “Joyce said I should make sure you’re free soon to call her…” “O-oh,” Emily stammered back, remembering what Joyce had asked her to do earlier that morning. Call her during lunch. They talked about that in the car, so… “W-wait, Joyce told you that?” “You work for a very strict union, Emily! Now scooch!” Amy paced around surprise and shock personified and was the caboose kicking the locomotive into motion. Then like an afterthought, showing affectionate disinterest like her partner in crime did the same for her, she glanced back at Ashes. “Oh, and I suppose you’ve earned a break too, freeloader.” And after a dramatic stretch the cat hopped from its pedestal to the floor. “Do…do you always talk to him like that?” Emily half-stumbled up the steps, watching for the cat that assuredly followed. “Do I sound crazy?” Amy laughed as she brought up the rear. “It’s either that or I start talking to my mannequins, but at least Ashes is alive!” Then with reluctant honesty, each word from Emily was another step down the slope of decibels, flattening out into an almost muted whisper. “No, I mean…I…kind of do it…too…” “Hm? Oh yeah? Who’s your sound board?” “Huh? I guess it’d be…–! It’s Ashes! I mean, I was doing the same thing with Ashes…” Was it really lying if she bounced from one truth to another? Poor Pip. If only the world was ready for their relationship. It was on the straight and narrow from then on to the second story, watching the door ahead like nothing mattered. Just as Emily crossed the threshold a light brush on her back sent her through. “One chickling…” Amy sang, then hung by the doorway, waiting for the last soldier to scurry in, “Two…” Then with a soft click the door was closed. “Okay. Lunch time,” she clapped her hands and departed for the kitchen. “Oh, if you’d prefer to watch something while you eat, feel free to turn on the TV. After you call Joyce?” and Amy gave her the kind of look any expectant mother might. Thank goodness she was just an employer, though. And before the phone could touch Emily’s ear Ashes was meowing, ever so impatiently at his owner. “Shut it, I'm working on it!” the proprietor complained all the way to the pantry. One buzz… Two buzz– And not a third. Instead Emily had the misfortune of dialing the wrong number out of her contacts list. Rather than her mommy elsewhere in the city, sitting in her skyscraper office ready to eat right around the same time, it was instead a prim, prip and posh female fellow warmly receiving the other end of the line. “And to whom is this that I have the utmost pleasure of speaking with?” But alas, there was no danger afoot, as Emily was well-trained in the art of stranger danger. “Sorry, wrong number!” “Wait–” Too late. Bye-bye. “Wasn’t Joyce?” Amy asked on the trip back with a large bag of pet food in her arms. “Nope,” Emily shook her head and swung her legs off the bar stool. “It was.” “It was?” she cocked her head up over the pouring bag. “So then why’d you…?” Then Emily’s hands got the jitters, but not from nerves this time; technological vibrations. The phone had to have been cursed. There was simply no other explanation. Radioactive? Haunted? Those kinds of bomb defusals weren’t her wheelhouse, so with caution she held out the phone far away and made for a blind swipe with her finger on the screen. “Emily Sen!” A stern tone erupted from the speakers, and even without the mode in effect Amy had heard enough to laugh. “Emily, you didn’t!” Amy as a new spectator was equal parts shocked and amused, and having a supporter made the culprit grin sheepishly herself. “Joyce? Hello?” she choked down a laugh. “Did you just hang up on me, missy?” Joyce, a woman that when she sneezed wiped her nose with millions and could make the world move on a whim, had finally met her match; a tricksy little girl who thought herself apparently untouchable just because they weren’t in the same room. “NoOOo…” Emily exaggerated, just as poorly as Joyce did her impression. “Someone else picked up the phone!” “That so? Guess that means my voice must’ve been that good!” Certainly. If Joyce didn’t make it as an entrepreneur, at least by Emily’s story time standards she’d be a shoe-in as a voice actress. Come to think of it, Joyce would be great at a lot of different things… “Buut… Next time you hang up on me, you’re gonna make me sad. Understood?” “Gotcha,” Emily giggled, and her girlfriend was a bit toothy herself on the other end. “Are you on your lunch break now?” “Getting to the end of it, actually,” Joyce sighed, staring down her digital clock at the corner of her desk like it was evil incarnate. “Should I have called sooner?” “No, you called at just the right time,” Joyce opted for a not so honest answer. The last fifteen minutes had actually been spent drawing circles with her finger in her binder, hoping the stars would somehow align before time ran out, and thankfully they did. “So? How’s your first day?” “It’s been fine, but I can talk about that stuff at home. How’s your day?” “Boring,” Joyce flatly answered. And very busy. Who knew coming into work late meant a compressed schedule? “And yes, but you can also talk about it now?” Hiding her enthusiasm around Emily was a sport she was more than happy to lose at. “Soo, what have you been doing?” “Cleaning, sorta,” Emily shrugged, even if the gesture didn’t quite translate over the phone. “Amy said she was gonna have me help her with what she really needed later, so it’s probably gonna be after lunch. You know that room she took us to? Behind the front desk? She’s having me organize that.” “Well that’s nice of you to do!” Joyce beamed, and Emily as appreciative as she was, embarrassingly side-stepped the comment. “I mean, I guess, but she’s paying me…” “True,” Joyce admitted, “but still doesn’t mean I can’t be proud of you!” “Oh, and Ashes was downstairs with me too, so I had some company.” Very unhelpful company. “Well that’s nice; I think he plays favorites with Amy, though. She always says that he tries to give her the cold shoulder when someone he likes shows up,” she laughed, thinking of all the times he’d be nuzzled right against her leg, purring so sweetly. “He’s a nice cat, though,” Emily started to spin in her seat. “But really, is today just boring?” Her partner’s lips popped from the other end. “Unfortunately, it just is! More importantly though,” seemingly important, Joyce’s tone lowered an octave and the matronly might became heavy. “And Emily Sen, do not lie to me, understood?” Emily knew that voice. That horrible, worrywart-inducing voice. Instantly it was a moment of self-reflection. The girl’s mind raced from cabinet to cabinet inside her head, searching for the one, itty-bitty piece of incrimination; something she had done to warrant the scolding she was just about to get. But she couldn’t think of anything and the search was fruitless. What could she want? “Did you climb up on anything today?” And suddenly her big ball of panic popped like a balloon. “Joyce!” Emily whined, losing her composure with her back to the stage, leaving Amy to quietly watch with a speculating grin. “Wh-what are you talking about?!” “Is that your way of telling me you do?” “No! I didn’t!” she cried into the phone, cognizant enough to process the embarrassment, but not to remember who was listening in on her pout. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t!” “Oh yes it absolutely does. Emily, I said I didn’t want you climbing in the kitchen before, didn’t I?” “Y–!” she was about to agree, but for once she could see the tripwire lying in wait. “That…that was different! That was when I…” Finally, her memory kicked in and her audience was acknowledged. Her rage sputtered out into a quiet ember as she whispered into the phone, “I thought that was different…?” Hopefully it wasn’t vague enough, coupled with that the only real secret they ever tried to keep had to do with diapers. Joyce made rules during baby time, so seeing them flare up during grownup days was certainly alarming. “Emily, no.” And Joyce leaned out from her seat, looking for a silhouette that wasn’t there on the other side of her foggy glass door. It’d become an opportune moment so she rose from her chair, pacing around the office. “Rules like that are to keep you safe and from getting hurt. No diapers is no excuse to put yourself in dangerous situations. Do I make myself clear?” Were they really doing this now? Emily tried to stay inconspicuous, turning her head just slightly to see if Amy was hopefully distracted. She saw a phone in her hand and her eyes on it. Perfect! Amy was distracted. “Joyce…” she started up again, wary of her words, and jealous that by the sound of it Joyce didn’t have to be. “I’m fine, okay? I don’t need those kinds of rules when I’m like…this…” And it was the pushback. The tiny, itty-bitty retaliations that tickled Joyce so sweetly. Danger was danger and her fear was real, but discussions like these always made her giddy. How couldn’t mothers not love it when their kids throw a tantrum? The indignance, the back-talking, and rebellion. It was a chance for their kid to make their opposition clear, and by the same token it was the perfect moment for the parent to make a crushing, iron-willed teaching moment. “Emily?” Joyce’s voice was patient, but the expectation for a response was thick and heavy. And while she waited with her loving intensity, she peeked outside her office one last time, making sure there was absolute secrecy. And Emily, with her sixth sense finally active and detecting the shitstorm she just waltzed herself into, delicately slipped off the stool and nervously walked herself away to Amy’s couch. “Yes…?” It’s too fun getting to come up with this stuff… “Who wears the big girl pants?” Big girl…? And let it be Emily’s one and only allowed moment of weakness, but her eyes as if needing a second opinion other than her own sanity slowly glanced down at herself. “Me…?” “Nuh-uh. Try again.” “Us…both?” “Halfway there!” Joyce praised the answer, yet patronizingly beckoned for more. “Come on, sweetie, who?” “...You?” “Ah-huh, that’s right. Mommy wears the big girl pants, and that means Mommy makes the decisions. And because I do, you need to understand that I don’t make those decisions lightly, okay?” “Joyce…” Emily leaned from side to side, dearly hoping that Amy was really invested in something interesting on her phone… Emily in a hushed voice tried to rush the conversation along, “Can’t we talk about this later? I get it, okay? I understand…” And all she got in response was more syrup and sugar, making her feel smaller and smaller with each passing syllable. “I know you do, baby, but I also know that sometimes you need reminders?” Maybe she didn’t, but Joyce certainly needed recharges like this. Who was this really for? “But, okay, I think I’ve made my point. But Emily, who makes the rules?” Every question was like pulling a tooth, assuming the feeling was hardstuck and difficult, but erupted in a euphoric feeling. So probably not quite like pulling a tooth… “...You do…” “Mhm,” and by the tone of her hum, Emily could practically hear the solemn, motherly nod happening at the same time. “And who’s job is it to follow them?” “...Mine…” They were in separate rooms and separate buildings, but even that sense of distance didn’t seem to add any more slack to the emotional and mental harness Joyce had her strapped in. “Good. Very good!” Joyce beamed, then chuckled, as if the harbinger to announce that all was well and peppy again. “Okay, go eat your lunch now, alright? And make sure to have a good rest of your day!” If it was within the means of being a Mommy, Joyce was scarily adept at flipping her mood switches. Emily was still trying to come off the headspace she’d just been forced into, but was stable enough to close out the conversation. “Okay…” Emily exhaled quietly, “Mhm. You too.” “And Emily?” Oh no. More? “Yeah?” And then a quiet hum started, growing and growing in noise and joy as Joyce made a happy cheer. All courtesy of a private office on an executive floor. “Mommy loves you soooo much!” “J-Joyce, are you actually at work?” Emily couldn’t hide the concern given how liberal her partner was being. Was there really no one around to hear this? And all Joyce did was laugh. “Yes, would you believe it, I am! Now I’ll say it again since you didn’t say anything back; Mommy loves you!” And just like the first, Emily was glad she was sitting to hear it. The mantra made her legs weak with joy. To consider how warped she was to be so happy over such a little thing had a hand to her head like she was ready to catch the loose parts ready to fall out of her ear. “I love you too…” “Mwah!” Joyce kissed into the speaker. “Bye-bye!” And they hung up. It was like returning to another dimension once she put down the phone. Emily looked around the open apartment like she’d forgotten where she was. Another second gave her time to remember that it wasn’t her home. She was working, with Amy, and it was time for lunch. The atmosphere was cooling down and she had a look to keep up. A persona to maintain. Something with a semblance of maturity and composure just long enough until Joyce came and picked her…– “Emily?” Amy made a small wave from the kitchen. “Still want lunch?” “Y-yes, please,” and Emily with a half-broken mind was back on her feet and rushing over. “Sorry about that…” “Sorry about what?” Amy chuckled and motioned for Emily to sit. “Thank goodness you called Joyce; she probably would’ve thought that I was slave-driving you, or something. You really have no clue how scary she can be–!” then with a self-disgusted gasp Amy clamped down on her own mouth. “See!?” she giggled, setting Emily’s bagged lunch down. “I told you stuff like that was gonna slip! And I hereby use my unlimited ‘Please don’t tell her I said that’ pass for the first time!” “Okay, okay, sure,” Emily laughed right back and finally went into her lunch. “So, she make you anything good?” “Don’t know,” didn’t know what it was, but knew it’d probably be good, “she made it early this morning so I didn’t get to see.” “Gosh, she keeps everything a secret, doesn’t she?” and Amy watched for the reveal, perching her chin on her knuckles. Until the secret was no more. Before her was a hearty spread. A ripe banana, a cup of yogurt, sandwich, and a thermos. Though, when she wrapped her digits around the metal it didn’t feel warm. A drink? “Oh wow, that looks good, huh?” Amy remarked as she turned away. “Here, lemme get you a plate to eat that on…” “That’s fine, you don’t need to…” Emily insisted as she shuffled her lunch around, finding even a small stack of complimentary napkins as well. On top of a plastic spoon, Joyce really did think of everything… “Emily, quit being such a stranger!” Amy chuckled with a firm quip, and dishware clattered until a wide black saucer was placed in front of the girl. “And also, keeps crumbs off the counter.” Finally though she bit the bullet and ceased her complaining. “Thank you,” Emily settled and set her food on a new foundation. “I’ll make sure to wash it when I’m done.” “And you shall do no such thing,” Amy’s eyes rolled with a smirk. “Either I’m gonna clean it, or my dishwasher will, and you are neither of those things,” she enunciated with a fat finger. “You’re gonna eat, enjoy yourself, chat with me a little, then we’re gonna go downstairs, work some more, and chit-chat the whole time. Do I make myself clear?” The talking-to was swift and unexpected, leaving Emily in a daze that felt eerily nostalgic from just minutes prior. For a moment she was back to being in an obedient and attentive place, but only after Amy cocked her head did Emily snap out of it. “O-okay, yeah… Thank you,” Emily finally accepted with a smile, then slightly sunk her head while she fumbled with the top of the cyan thermos. “Good,” Amy didn’t seem deterred, then made the short trip back to the island where her food was. “So was Joyce on lunch too?” “Yeah, I think so,” the girl with her dedicated sandwich container said as she pried off the lid. “I think she was busy, though…all because she took me here today.” “Well if she is, I highly doubt she’d be surprised,” Amy shrugged. “She knew what she was getting into, Emily. Obviously you matter more than a tighter schedule?” It felt awfully narcissistic to agree to a comment about herself, so Emily didn’t say much of anything to that. Instead she was reflecting on all the ways she’d been a bother today. Making Joyce get up earlier than usual just to make her lunch, making her even more busy at work just to drive her around, and effectively killing whatever attempt Amy made at trying to be friendly simply because she couldn’t disassociate from all the baby brain Joyce was infecting her with. “Amy? Uhm…sorry, by the way…” “Sorry for what?” Here she was, apologizing for something she couldn’t even put into exact words. And yet, Amy undoubtedly knew it, and obviously Emily too, and yet the girl had hardly the courage or want to mention any of it in specifics. “Just being…” her hands had fallen into her lap where her thumbs could mingle. “Reserved, and stuff? I’m just…” she sighed, “I’m being weird.” “Yeah, you are,” Amy agreed, shoving Ashes off the counter and from her food at the same time. Cue the annoyed meow, and promptly ignored. “But it’s not like I wasn’t expecting that,” she chuckled. “Emily, I’m not gonna force you to talk about anything, but it’s the baby stuff, right?” Again, her words were like ripping off a bandage, and to that point Emily nearly flinched. But slowly, she nodded remorsefully. “I just want you to know it’s not like a taboo or anything, with me. If you’d like though I could be honest with you. Joyce pays for it, but I’m still kind of your seamstress, and all…” She let that sink in, staring Emily in the eyes, then sinking down to her lower half hiding on the other side of the counter. “Emily, need I remind you that the day we met I was taking your measurements when you were in a diaper?” And what was thought to be a national secret was apparently public information. Emily’s eyes were as wide as her plate with a frightened gasp. “Y-you knew?!” “Your clothes fit, don’t they?” And Amy watched with a hand on the counter as Emily couldn’t keep her mouth closed, slowly slipping out of reality. She knew that Amy knew about the diapers. It was obvious. She could have found out a million different ways, and yet…but…! “Emily, you-houu? Hey?” A pat on the shoulder was what roped the girl back in. “I know about the diapers. I know about the clothes, because hey, I made them? The nursery,” possibly because somebody admitted to it… “and how much Joyce cares about you, too. I’m not saying this stuff to hold anything over your head, hon, but I’m trying to make a point that there’s no real secret between us?” “B-but…” But what? But nothing! She knew. Obviously. Of course. The reserved attitude, the anxiousness, all of it today had just been formality, especially with how forthcoming Amy had been. She was standing at the halfway point since the day started, patiently waiting for Emily to finally open up about what she already had an understanding of. It was just being polite and maintaining formality. “Look, we’re friends, aren’t we?” Amy stood back with her hands still glued on the marble top, smiling warmly. Friends? Wasn’t she friends with Joyce, though? Kids weren’t friends with their mommy’s…– Lord, how bad was Emily? More aptly, wasn’t it weird to be friends with your girlfriend’s commissioned seamstress? Sure, maybe, but wasn’t it also weird for them to know about the diapers you wore, the nursery you had, and all the big baby clothes you needed too? Absolutely. Relatively speaking, friendship was the lowest in the pecking order. By monumental magnitudes. “No?” Amy grinned, letting enough silence go by. “We’re not?” “We are!” Emily stammered, then quickly settled herself back in. “I just…how can you talk about it so easily?” “Because I am who I am?” Amy gave another clueless shrug. “Emily, I love making clothes for you. The cute ones, specifically,” she pointedly corrected. “If you asked me why, all I’d say is because I like cute things? I don’t know? Making them for an adult is just a…really cute juxtaposition,” she pinched her chin while she thought about it. “Point is, I like it, and that’s all there is to it. You wear diapers,” and Emily really did flinch that time, “and that’s also all there is to it, too? There’s a reason, I’m sure, but I don’t care, and you don’t need to either. I hope that I’ve made it clear already, but just so there’s no misunderstandings: Emily, you’re into baby stuff and that’s fine. I am too. So let’s not put up any walls around us because you’re nervous about spilling any secrets, okay? So who is it you talk to other than Ashes? Who, a stuffed animal?” “N-no!” “Ah! See?” Amy accused her with a finger, “No lying,” with a playful finger she sliced her own neck. “Who is it?” And finally with her back against a wall, Emily bit her lip and made a nervous leap of faith. “...P…Pip. It’s Pip.” It was supposed to be a gateway into a relaxed discussion, yet Amy drilled further like it was an interrogation. “What animal are they? Do they stay at home?” “He’s…not an animal. He’s stuffed mochi. And yes, he stays at home.” “Mhm?” Amy nodded attentively. “Wait,”she had a double take, “Mochi? What’s that?” “It’s like a dessert, so it’s not really an animal…” “Do you play with him?” “Not…not completely…” “But a little?” “No, not a little.” “Not a lot?” “No, not a lot.” Emily shook her head skeptically. Didn’t they start with that? “Well what do you do with him?” “I dunno? I just…bring him into other rooms, and stuff.” Why did she even want to know? “Here,” and in the midst of the questionnaire, Amy had Emily’s yogurt in her hand, peeling off the foily top. “Have that while we talk.” And Emily, the demure and domesticated, actually accepted it. “So you take him with you around the house? That sounds like playing to me?” “How? I just…use him like a pillow, and stuff.” “So cuddles?” Amy clarified, like she was about to pull out a dictionary. “Sorry, Em,” she gave her a hopeless look, “sounds like playing to me.” “Wh-what does it matter if I play with him, or not?” “That’s the whole point,” Amy frowned right before grinning, “it doesn’t.” It didn’t matter who or what Emily played with. It didn’t matter what she did, what she wore or how she acted. Amy was clear from the start that she didn’t care to the point of foregoing all judgment completely. She made it clear that she was interested and willing to bounce back on any kind of conversation, as long as Emily was brave enough to pull out what Amy already knew. So many obstacles and so many gymnastics over a pointless chase. “Emily,” Amy sighed with a hand against the nearby beam, “you’re kinda putting me on the spot here? Can’t I just chat with my friend, or am I gonna have to be bored and keep to myself all day?” Then she turned the pressure up just a little more. “Still wanna know about the nursery…!” Amy sang, and Emily was either on the brink of shutting down or blowing up completely. She needed a heaping helping of yogurt to deliberate. “That strawberry?” Amy peered over the chunks of red hiding in the creamy white. “Yeah…think so…” Emily murmured from her seat. It was their constant sidesteps and casual shifts into much tamer topics that kept throwing the girl off. She couldn’t code switch like Amy could. Amy was a sewing machine, rapidly and vigorously tying together all topics entirely; until there was no more distinction and separation between casual and confidential. The entire day was just a melting pot of emotions and ideas. Casual was exactly that, even if it meant the weather or Emily’s latest punishment. She swallowed her treat, and Amy was already fussing with removing a banana from its peel. “Do…do you really wanna know?” But first, with a naked fruit in her hand, Amy asked, “Want me to cut this up?” Damn it. Another juggle in topics. Every swap was like a lossy translation. Every switch meant some kind of steam was lost. She had to be secretive and guarded, but not when it came to things as mundane as her own lunch. She couldn’t keep going from sharp to dull without slowly averaging out in between. What kind of mind games was this woman playing? “N-no…” “Okay,” and the woman took the trash with her. “And yeah, Emily, I’ve asked like twice now! Tell me what’s up! Or don’t? But if you don’t then we’re gonna need to find something else to talk about because I don’t wanna just hear my voice all day.” More yogurt was consumed and so was some of her banana. Perfectly ripe. Soft, but not too soft and with just the right amount of firmness… Joyce probably wasn’t that methodical, but even in times like these Emily couldn’t help but think about her. This was her chance, wasn’t it? Someone to talk to? To vent? Joyce was always her number one confidant, but even with her, especially with how intimate they were– with this, she for lack of a better explanation was too close to the crime… “Well it’s…it’s not even that big of a deal…” “Ugh, perfect then!” Amy slapped her counter, “that means you can tell me! The more you make me wait, the more curious I get! Right, Ashes?” Amy barked at her pet with a sharp pivot on her neck, and on command with impeccable comedic timing, the cat meowed right back. “Oh! He actually meowed!” Amy laughed in a moment of self-surprise. “But I swear, I’m not a crazy cat lady or anything!” Even Emily in her mental muck, stuck at a crossroads found it in herself to smile and even giggle. Her toes were anxiously pressing against the wooden panel underneath the counter and her bare elbows hung off the edge, but all those adrenaline-fueled sensations were starting to drop as the tempo relaxed and her guard was being disarmed. So she wiped the corner of her mouth and finally and truly surrendered herself. “...So do you remember how I mentioned about Joyce going to an investor thing…?” “Yes,” Amy nodded attentively, but didn’t spare another second in interrupting. “Actually, wait!” she held out a stopping finger. “Let me make some coffee real quick?” And like a cold splash of water Emily was halted on the tracks. “Oh, uh, sure. Actually…could I have some too?” “Yyyes…” Amy answered half-heartedly, obviously with her head in a different place, and her eyes on something else. “What’d Joyce pack you in that thermos?” Emily looked over at the blue metal tube, “Oh right, I forgot…” and she fumbled with the cap and unscrewed the top. It was hard to see, but it certainly wasn’t anything hot. “Want a cup?” Amy, a lot like Joyce, seemed to shoot while she asked her questions. “Thanks,” Emily accepted the glass which became the perfect moment for Amy to take the thermos for herself. “Think it’s wine?” Amy tried to tempt her with an excited look, and Emily gave her a skeptical smirk. “Yeah,” she dropped the suspense, “probably not…” And out poured into Emily’s cup a familiar amber substance. Juice. Apple, to be specific. “Apple juice, too?” Amy sounded nothing but impressed. “Jeez, she really does treat you like a royal, huh?” and so did she by screwing the cap back on for Emily. “Alrighty, actually, just chat with me anyways while I make my stuff. I’m listening!” Apple juice, yogurt, a banana, and a sandwich. A spread fit only for the most kingly of kings, or princy of princesses. While she balanced her intake of all the different sides of her meal, Emily finally opened back up. “So you remember the event I mentioned?” “Yeah, the one Joyce went to?” “Mhm. So it was an overnight thing and she had to take a plane early in the morning. And when we…” the first roadblock was always the hardest because it meant covering new ground. “Whenever we…do our thing, the nursery is open… So when we aren’t, Joyce keeps it locked…” As honest as she was being, her voice and volume were hardly up for the challenge. And yet Amy seemed to be hearing it all without issue. “Do you guys have like a key for it?” Amy asked over the noise of her squirbling coffee machine. “Yeah, but Joyce has it, and as far as I know there’s only one…” Maybe they had two, but Emily didn’t even know where Joyce kept the first. On her person at all times? It was bad timing, but a small, mischievous activity was suddenly coming to mind. Now she had a small scavenger hunt she could try and do someday… “That’s a good idea, though. To keep people from accidentally walking in, and everything,” Amy openly thought. “Yeah,” Emily nodded, though she could imagine a few more reasons why she had a key for it… “But anyway, I think she was in a big rush that morning, because she forgot to lock it.” “Oh!” Amy gasped, despite hardly knowing the gravity. But she wasn’t ignorant to storytelling, which is why she kept looking back excitedly from her coffee pour. “So did you go in? Do you guys have a rule about that sort of thing?” “W-well…” Emily was certainly good at following rules. Even as a kid, barring her occasional upsets that was fair to expect from any typical child, held them in high regard. She understood the concept of cause and effect; consequences. Breaking rules begets punishments. Simple as that. “Since it was just gonna be me there the whole day…” Why was she looking away? Why were her eyes off to the side? “I may have gone in…” “Emily!” Amy gasped again, and the sound of surprise was almost paralyzing. It sounded like round two with Joyce all over again, except with a totally different vibe. The disappointment and disapproval was all there, but unlike Joyce’s cool, tough and teasing love approach, Amy’s was lush and uncut. She sounded like an actual…you know. Like little Emily, the sweetest girl she’d known for the toddler’s entire life had just committed a crime so severe, sitting so far above whatever standard or expectation she held her to. “I-it wasn’t even that bad!” Emily cried and an instinctual switch put her on the defensive. “I-I went in because no one would know!” It was round two all over again, as if Amy were Emily’s second shot at making a plea to a case that had already been solved and shut. “Yeah, but I’m guessing she did?” Amy raised an eyebrow, and all it took was the guilty look starting to show for the woman with a mug a coffee to laugh again, shaking her head. “What’d you even go in there for if you’re not supposed to?” “Just for clothes! Those pajamas you made me!” “One of the onesies?” “No, the footie ones!” “Ahh! So you guys keep that stuff in there?” she brought a hand to her chest, “I’m touched!” “I think it’s the only clothing we keep in there…” Emily propped up her head on a knuckle, chewing her bite of sandwich. “It was just a lazy day and Joyce made the mistake, not me! I just wanted to wear something soft!” “Yeah, but it was supposed to be locked up, right?” “Yes!” Emily threw out her hands at the sign of a growing comradery. Great! So Amy was seeing it too! “So you knew you weren’t supposed to be in there?” And suddenly the spark had fizzled and Emily’s mouth was sagging by the corners. Meanwhile, Amy was giving her an expectant look. “But she left it unlocked…” the girl tried her line of reasoning again, like the result would somehow be any different. “Yeah, but it sounds like you knew it wasn’t intentional,” Amy chuckled. “All I’m hearing is that you broke the rules?” “Maybe, but doesn’t Joyce get in trouble for making a mistake too?” “Ahp!” Amy caught her like Ashes swiped her tongue. “That’s different, though! She made a mistake and you made the choice to do what you did! Gotta say, Em, didn’t think you had that kinda mischief in you…!” “Yeah well,” Emily puffed out her cheek, “Guess I’ve been getting it from somebody.” And the side remark had Amy in stitches, giggling before and after a sip from her mug. The she asked the million dollar question, “So she obviously found out, right?” And like it was admitting to a stain on her flawless record, after crossing her legs, un-crossing, then finishing the rest of her yogurt, Emily muttered without eye contact, “Yes…she found out.” “Well now I gotta ask how? Does she memorize the way she organizes them, or something?” God forbid, Emily had yet to test the waters like that. If Joyce really was that superhuman then there really would be no secrets to guard from her. No, instead, Joyce as deductive as she was had actually been thrown a very obvious bone by a very clumsy criminal. “No…I…took it off at one point because someone came over and didn’t want them to see me like that… So I…left it under the bed in the room Joyce and I sleep in.” “What?” Amy pulled back her head, “Emily, no!” She couldn’t stop laughing. “That’s like borrowing rule number one! Put it back where you found it!” “She found it under the bed,” and Emily sighed, remembering the consequences that eventually led to her wetting the bed, including her pajamas, “and she wasn’t happy…” “Learned your lesson, I take it?” The implication of a punishment was clear even without directly asking. A solemn nod came back. “Mm. Well, then for both our sakes, let’s not do anything to get you in trouble, huh? Or I guess me, for that matter… Almost done with your lunch?” “Yeah, and thanks for helping me get it together…” “Yeah, of course! It’s nice getting to help every now and then. Oh, actually, do you mind if I ask a kinda personal question? Just cuz it’s related to the clothes, and all.” “Uh, yeah…sure? What is it?” How personal could it be? Emily just got finished explaining the whole nursery debacle and practically felt secondhand scolded because of it. “When you wore those pajamas, were you in a diaper?” Bold and unashamed. There was hardly a cloud in Amy’s mind when she asked, and Emily as per usual was taken aback. “Uh…no…” “Mhm,” Amy nodded appreciatively, taking down internal R&D notes. “Just wanted to know how the fit felt without them. Any reason why ya didn’t?” “It fit fine, but…” But what? Was it truly fine to tell Amy whatever she wanted? “We…sort of have a rule about…diapers…” “Uh-oh, you didn’t go breaking another one, did you?” Amy looked as if she feared for the worst while she nursed the edge of her coffee mug. “Ah, don’t forget about that juice, by the way,” she quietly pointed out the cup that still needed some draining. “No, not this time.” Probably because I can’t even imagine how severe the punishment for it would be… Emily paused to finish her cup of juice. “I’m not…uh…” her fingers started weaving, “I’m not allowed to put on my own diapers…” And instead of an awkward noise, an offhand comment or general disgust, all Amy did was, “Ahh…” and she nodded. “Yeah, Joyce kinda sounds like a real Mama bear. I’d be wary if I were in your shoes, too… So uhm…actually…how does that rule work?” How does it work? “I mean…it’s just that I can’t put on a diaper…Joyce said she wants to…be in charge of that stuff.” Not like Emily was looking to assume any of that responsibility, though. “So even if you asked, Joyce wouldn’t let you put on one?” “No…probably not.” And Amy quietly nodded, though for once she wasn’t immediate with a follow up. Like she was thinking. “Well, uhm, hey, how about we clean up here and move downstairs?” Amy clapped her hands together. “Thanks for being so open with me, but the way,” and she stepped beyond the barrier again by patting Emily on the shoulder. “It’s fun getting to hear stories from you, you know! I take it that you’ve got more for me?” And in spite of the subject material, Emily’s smile was slowly starting to come back. “If…if you just let me think a little?” “I think I can manage that,” she agreed herself with a serious nod. “And also, Emily? You’ll do what you think is the smart decision, but please,” she leaned in closer, “don’t break too many rules? I still need Joyce leaving you in one piece if you’re gonna come over and help me out…!” And all it took was that to get both women laughing. A tense lunch had dissolved and become something far more freeform than Emily could have ever imagined. With far less restraint she somehow managed to actually talk about her own experiences. She opened up for once! She got to complain and vent about something so bizarre, and yet Amy listened wholeheartedly, even if she seemed to be a little more in Joyce’s camp… But with no other way to describe it, just having someone like Amy…who knew it could have felt this…good? “Oh, I can get that, honey,” Amy assured her by taking the empty plate out of her hand. “By the way, don’t forget to bring your juice downstairs!” And obediently, Emily took the thermos and dropped down to her feet without a comment. After rinsing her hands she was the first one headed for the stairs, giggling a small bit once Ashes was fast to find her and join the carpool. Hanging out with Amy isn’t all that bad…?

18 - Propaganda Prison “What do you mean, ‘play with the books?’,” Dawn barely managed to hold back a scoff. “I’m here to read them like everyone else!” “And you can go read lots of fun stories in here?” Grace deflected and redirected with her finger. “I bet if you gave them a chance, you’d be really surprised how good they are!” “And I want a book that isn’t made from cardboard or more pictures than actual words,” Dawn frowned. “What kind of rule even is that, anyway? Ka–” she stammered then stopped, but Grace was being patient enough to allow her to continue. Let the Little finish her tantrum. “Mmm…Mommy,” fucking christ! “--She didn’t say anything about a rule like that.” “You can always ask her when she comes back, sweetheart, but it’s a lot safer for you in here. Big kid books are too big and hard to read, anyway,” she waved her hand and just a few more years brushed off Dawn’s shoulders. “Come on,” Grace stood back up, but not before taking Dawn’s hand. “Let’s go give those books another peek, alright? Mommy said you liked reading, didn’t she?” Reading stuff that’s actually interesting… Not whatever baby books that are in here…! Thus a second round of perusing had begun, only now Dawn was chained and shackled to her tour guide. “Let’s see…!” Grace hummed with infectious enthusiasm that Dawn was thankfully vaccinated against. The Amazon was slouched over just to see the top shelf of the shorter furniture, and Dawn was trying to look anywhere but Grace tried to call attention to. “Oou, how about this one?” Dawn didn’t watch, but she could hear the plastic laminated cover slide out from the crowd of crazy literature. The librarian tapped into her secondary skill as a nursery school teacher, because slowly and carefully she enunciated the cover, “Tumbly Tiger’s Big Adventure,” then held the front of it out to Dawn. “That sounds like a fun one, right?” As a fun fact, at least for standard literature, the best stories were the ones that were actual good stories. Tales that could leverage basic devices and spin them as something new or synthesize with totally new ideas altogether. Words can bring the imagination to life and the true imagery is born inside the head. There was stuff like comics too, which was also impressive, but acknowledging that would hurt the crux of what was keeping Dawn so agitated right now. A soft-shaded pastel tiger with rounded nubs for fangs, walking on two legs with a bright friendly face didn’t inspire confidence for the potential complexities a tale like that might have. “No.” “No?” Grace repeated, playing up her surprise. “Well…” she hummed as she thumbed through a few wide pages by herself, “I think there’s some really cool pictures in this one?” she pulled back the book to peer down at Dawn again. “Maybe we should give it a try?” “What are the themes?” “Themes?” Ha. Guess Grace didn’t expect a pretend three-year old to ask something like that. “What’s the genre?” Dawn doubled down. “Mystery? Romance?” If Grace was going to stall and waste her time, certainly she was at least going to give her something with some meat on it? Something to sink her teeth into? Christ, for plot convenience Tumbly the fucking Tiger was probably friends with the whole animal kingdom; prey and all. Too bad the carnivore would somehow be a vegetarian. If that tiger’s teeth were too dull to bite, at least let Dawn consume something…! “This story…” Grace skimmed the back of it, “teaches us that it’s important to share and follow the rules. Wanna go over to the sitting circle and check it out?” Grace insisted yet again. “No,” Dawn repeated once more. “...Okie-dokie!” Grace, brushing off the cold rejection, slid the book back in its place. “There’s lots more to choose from. So let’s see…” And while Grace put in all the team effort on her own, Dawn dragged her feet in a small circle, just barely catching glimpses of more unfortunate sights. Being Big Again Counting Three’s Kingdom Under the Crib Traded - Learning to Share Not Fair - Why Rules are Good! Breaking the Toy Funny how titles were supposed to be the earworms that hooked your brain and caught your attention. They all certainly worked wonders at inciting emotion, only all the negative ones. Maybe. Just maybe something out of all these shelves could receive the bare minimum score of entertaining or passable for the adult mind, but her standards were far beyond a tolerable place now that she knew she was being forced to choose among a filtered selection. If she didn’t get any leniency, the institution would be getting none either. “How about this one? Doesn’t this look silly?” “No.” “Oou…! This one is about space! Do you like stars?” “Nope.” “Then…oh, how about kitties? Aren’t cats so cute?” “I’m not interested.” Again and again. Three finite resources were being drained and it was only a matter of time to figure out which was in the shortest supply. Grace’s patience? Dawn’s stubbornness? Or, the worst of all, the seemingly endless torture trove of baby books to sift through? And just when the corner of Grace’s mouth was starting to hide behind her cheek, the battle was shifting in the Little’s favor. “Jeez, Dawn! You’re an awfully picky reader!” Even if it was minor and a disguised reaction, obviously it meant something. Surely. The mild discomfort only emboldened the girl’s resistance…! And soon enough Grace was back to crouching with her knees pressed together, scanning the selection for yet another recommendation. Though she chuckled with a mutter, “You’re just as picky as your Mommy…” Ugh. The offhand comment came at her like a rusty, slimy hook. Something gross and ill-inducing that had no business invading her headspace. Comparing them? She and Katherine? What similarities? Books? Maybe. Just maybe the faintest thread existed, but that was pure coincidence. Nothing else. It was a thread of fate that existed like so many others between passing strangers on the street. Their relationship went absolutely no further than that, so to hear a complete stranger, acting so friendly and familiar, treating Dawn like she was actually Katherine’s…! “Grace!” an exasperated voice caught wind of the Amazon and Little. Katherine, standing by the entrance to the prison pen, identically dressed now compared to her friend, was looking a tad bit upset. “You actually took her?” Dawn tried to hide her side eye, wishing there hadn’t been anyone to show her any of this at all. But more importantly, even if it was out of obligation, the closest thing to an advocate for Dawn had returned. Her… “savior.” Grace came back to her feet with a chuckle and shrug. “You mean you’d keep your little girl bored and waiting just so you could be the one to bring her here?” she laughed. “Sorry~! Guess I wanted to be nice!” And since she couldn’t say it aloud, Dawn kept her insults and scoffs to herself, tucked away nicely inside the filing cabinet that lived inside her head. Filed under “Why I hate Amazons,” an unsurprisingly expanding folder… Apparently Katherine had been checkmated, because she didn’t pursue the taunt. Instead she entered the Little’s den and crouched right beside Dawn, giving her a warm smile. “Are you looking for something fun to read?” “N-...” Dawn started to react, then skipped to the main issue altogether. “--I want to go see the other books in the library.” “The other books?” Katherine tilted her head. “Yes, the other books,” Dawn stressed. “Not a bunch of books for babies and kids. Real books!” “I tried to tell her…” Grace quietly added from over the Little’s head. “...Dawn,” Katherine started after glancing up at her friend, “All the books here are really big. Sometimes they can be a little hard to read too; even for me!” “And I’m not here to read books for kids!” Dawn stressed. “When you said you were taking me here, I actually thought I’d get to read meaningful stuff; not kids books!” “But you can learn a lot from these? See?” Katherine explained, grabbing one of the nearest books. “Belinda’s Buzzy Business,” she recited just like Grace did, and even traced her finger slowly with each and every word. A fat ball of black and yellow lines with tiny wings and a face smiled on the cover. “This one teaches you about all the big important jobs there are in nature?” Through what, the imaginary friendships and conversations animals of different species in a complex ecosystem would never have? “I don’t want to read that…! I…I want to read something…” Fuck, was there really no better word? “Something mature!” “Dawn, there’s nothing wrong with these books?” With few effective tricks, Dawn opted for the litmus test. “Would you read it?” “Would I?” Katherine repeated, glancing down at the cover. “Sweetie, of course I’d read it? When it’s break time later we can read it together?” Together? No! No! No! “You…!” Dawn groaned with her hands in her hair. “Why did you even get my hopes up…! So what: I’m stuck in here the whole day? In this stupid pen with no actual books to read?” “I thought you liked books, though?” “Stop twisting it!” Dawn cried. “You know this isn’t what I meant! I read actual books! Novels! Memoirs! Biographies! I want prose; poems! Murder mysteries, romance, science fiction, post-apocalypse, war, famine, politics; anything that none of this stupid corner has…!” A sharp prickle stung her back when she heard Grace comment from behind, directly to Katherine and completely over her fake-daughter, “That stuff really isn’t appropriate for a Little…?” And the fuse had been lit. The fire was about to blaze, and just when Dawn and her diapered ass was about to turn on her foot to give not just a piece of her mind, but the whole goddamn thing, a pair of Amazon arms clamped around her and into a hug. “Dawn, I know it can be frustrating when we don’t like the rules, but we have them for good reasons?” Katherine explained, and Dawn wriggled and squirmed. She wasn’t dumb, though. She was fully aware that she was ready to blow up at Grace, and more than likely say quite a few things that at the bare minimum would’ve been “unfriendly.” She wasn’t dumb because she knew Katherine wasn’t completely either. Katherine was smart, just…selectively ignorant. Like everyone else. Even if the affection right now was genuine, the practical use of a hug right now meant more than the emotional. In other words, Dawn was one step away from upping her tantrum and Katherine saw it coming. Was she really getting that predictable? Katherine rubbed her back. “Dawn, the library gets very busy during the day, and it’s just not safe to let all the Littles that come here with their Mommies and Daddies run around.” “The library isn’t a playground, Dawn,” Grace added, like she thought she was actually being helpful. “And I’m not here to play!” Dawn scrutinized Katherine. “I’m not reading anything here! I want actual books!” But apparently she couldn’t, all because of discrimination. “Shh…okay,” Katherine calmly and quietly hushed, and to need any of that only made the girl in her arms more upset. She wasn’t making a scene! Her anger was justified! This was fair! Stop trying to put her out like a pesky, unimportant fire! “How about this: can we make each other a promise?” A promise? A deal? If it was anything that could even remotely excite Dawn, it better have been in writing. Then again, what system was in place to actually stop an Amazon from cheating a Little? After all, it’d been done time and time again so easily and carefree. While Dawn wasn’t answering, she was looking. “If you promise to be on your best behavior today, once it’s my break, I promise I’ll take you around the library, okay? We can look at some of the books.” It was a trick. A trap. Some kind of clause that undid anything that was seemingly a benefit to the poor girl. She should refuse. She should ignore it. And yet… “...Really?” Why…why did she have to get her hopes up…?! “Yes, really,” Katherine nodded quite soundly. “It’s a promise, okay?” “F…fine.” Lay low. Pretend like she didn’t exist the whole day, then reap the rewards. Slowly she was released from her ride and Dawn was back on her own two feet. Katherine, calm and collected, tuned her expression to be a bit more cheery. “And, I want you to find at least one book in here to read, okay?” “What?” Dawn’s mouth went crooked and her eyebrows sank. “That wasn’t part of the deal!” She couldn’t do that! The imaginary papers had already been signed! And then, oh, then Katherine had the audacity to say… “Dawn?” she raised the tone of her voice, warping it into a warning, like whatever good faith the girl had just been coasting on was about to be irreparably broken. Why was this fair? Why did she get to do this? Making up rules, terms and conditions after the fact they agreed to something? “You’re gonna be in here for the most of the day, so I want you to find something you’ll like, okay?” “Th-the whole day?” Dawn stammered in surprise, but how obvious it should’ve been was only hitting her in the moment, plain as day for Katherine and Grace to hear and see. “Your Mommy needs to help everyone visiting the library, sweetheart!” Grace chimed in, and Dawn wished she simply didn’t exist. “I’m gonna be on the same floor the whole time,” Katherine assured, and Dawn was drifting further from anything even remotely close to complacency. The only halfway decent thing that saved Dawn from asking embarrassing questions was by the woman reading her mind for her. “Another nice friend of mine is gonna be here all day with you, okay? It’s her job to pick out all the fun stories you can listen to! Maybe you’ll like some of those?” The sitting circle, as Grace had called it, struck the girl’s mind. The giant rocking chair and bean bag seats… This was just a pseudo-daycare. A dropoff for kids while their parents got what they needed…! Sure, maybe it wasn’t one officially in name, but right then it was clear by just how much Katherine was toeing the line with what did and did not count as childcare that Dawn didn’t need…! “You’re gonna get to meet lots of other kids your age, too?” Grace, again with her horrible facts, added. And with all that in her head, Dawn couldn’t have looked more disappointed with believing for just a second that she really dodged any kind of bullet with her so few rules that she made Katherine abide. No daycares? Sure. No library baby-watch stops, though? Fair game, for sure! “Grace…” Katherine looked up at her friend, “Is…do you think Dayna might be willing to swap with me?” Swap with who? Dayna? What, was that the name of today’s warden? “You can try, but she goes on vacation tomorrow…” Grace faded out, implying something obvious only to the two Amazons. “If it were me, I wouldn’t wanna lose the fun job on my last day…” And Katherine sighed, exchanging her disappointed look with Dawn for a confused one. “Yeah…me neither…” “She should be here any minute now, I think,” Grace murmured, glancing at a phone in her hand. “And shoot! Oops, gotta go! I need to make it over to the front desk… See ya soon! Bye Dawn!” she flashed a hand as she left the pen, finally leaving the original pair alone. Now at least it felt a bit easier for Dawn to speak her mind. “You lied to me.” “Lied? What?” “I said no daycare, and you promised!” Dawn hissed. “I did promise, though?” Katherine agreed, but the mutual understanding stopped there. “You’re not at daycare right now?” “Then what is this?!” Dawn waved her arms, making it a very deliberate point to motion towards the fence surrounding the space. “I’m just supposed to be stuck here all day? I can’t leave on my own, and I have to read a bunch of stupid books that I could care less about?” “Dawn, you shouldn’t be saying something like that… Stupid isn’t a nice word.” “No.” Finally, Dawn put her foot down. “No,” she said again, “No! I played your game. Fine, I’m not swearing anymore,” vocally, at least, “but you’re not policing stuff like ‘stupid’ and ‘dumb’. I’m not gonna call anyone that, but I am keeping that.” Some kind of mantra must have been circulating through Katherine’s head, because she didn’t bite back on the argument. Instead she took a breath before saying, “Please, just behave,” she reminded, and Dawn tried not to flare her nostrils. And as determined as Dawn looked, she stuttered as she asked, “What…what happens when I need to use the bathroom? How am I supposed to get you if you’re not gonna be in here?” “I’ll check on you regularly to see if you need a change,” Katherine said simply. “No. That’s not what I asked. Bathroom. Toilet,” Dawn leaned on her words. “What?” Finally, Katherine was starting to become oblivious to the things that’d been debated and discarded so one-sidedly long ago. “Dawn, honey, that’s why you have your diaper on. Don’t worry about the potty today, alright?” “But that’s…!” “Other people are watching, Dawn. That’s why we need to be good and behave, okay?” And somehow, being good meant being incontinent. Unfair. So unbelievably unfair. “It’s nothing to feel embarrassed about. Everyone in here is gonna be in diapers, too?” And probably just as much not by choice, but what did that matter arguing with mob mentality itself? And more and more interruptions were always intervening. “Katherine, hey!” A new voice from behind, and Katherine turned her head. “Dayna! Good morning!” AndjJust as Katherine stood, her back that once shielded Dawn from exposure was evaporated. “Good morning, and is this who I think it is?” “Yes, I think it is,” Katherine laughed with a bashful look. “Does the word really get around that fast?” “Yes, I think it does,” Dayna nodded, and from the sound of her voice her eyes were probably rolling too. “No offense though, but it really was just a matter of time for you. Everybody knew you were gonna do it at some point…?” “Jeez, fine, enough of that! Grace was giving me a hard enough time as it is… But, yes, this is Dawn! Dawn, can you say ‘hi’?” And yet again, being asked to do something before Dawn could do it on her own good faith herself. Was she going to greet the Amazon if unprompted? Absolutely not, but principles were principles. “Hello.” “So polite!” Dayna gasped, and Dawn was cringing. The Amazon dropped to her knees, unfortunately. “And how old are you, Dawn?” “I am in my twenties…” Did big numbers turn them off to the idea of infantilism? “Oh wow!” Dayna exclaimed the same way any teacher meeting her new kindergarteners might sound, “I guess she’s closer to that age where diapers wouldn’t have been so far away, huh?” Dayna laughed with Katherine, and Dawn watched for her reaction like a hawk. “So, anyway…” Katherine moved things along, “Just with our situation right now, I decided to bring Dawn into work today, so she’s gonna be here in the Learning Corner while I work.” “Mhm? That won’t be an issue for me? Were you looking for me to take over?” she pointed out the bag slung over Katherine’s shoulder that Dawn finally noticed. “Oh, this? No, uhm, I planned on keeping it here nearby, if that’s okay? It’s your last day before vacation, right? I don’t want to give you any more responsibilities,” she laughed, and so did Dayna, and so didn’t Dawn. Funny how she was a “responsibility” purely because Katherine and the rest of this world turned her into one. “Okay, sure, that’s fine! I’m sure we’ll be good buds by the end of the day, but check on her as much as you need to,” Dayna smiled nonchalantly. “Thank you so much!” Katherine clasped her hands appreciatively. “Only thing is, would you mind getting her juice if she asks for it? I packed some bottles for her, and everything’s in here,” Katherine reminded with a jostle from her shoulder. “She knows to behave,” thank goodness, otherwise Dawn was surely going to be a ball of fire. “So if there’s any kind of trouble, just let me know and I can take care of it.” “Okie-dokie, sounds good!” Dayna nodded, accepting the diaper bag from Katherine. “Anything else I should know?” If only Dawn was allowed to speak in any way whatsoever on how to handle herself; like leaving her the fuck alone. “All of this is still new to her, so please be patient? I promised her if all I got were good reports from you, then I’d take her around the library to see some of the other books. She likes reading!” “Oooh!” Dayna mouthed, and Dawn stooped her shoulders while she looked away. “So someone’s gonna be extra good today for a special treat, huh? Okay then,” she laughed, “understood!” “And actually,” Katherine hummed, reaching into the bag now sitting on the bookshelf, “Dawn? Let’s get you started on something to drink.” And it only hit her after she took the container that it was a bottle. Not a sippy cup. Not a bottle with a twist cap, but the kind topped with a silicone nipple. “This isn’t my normal cup,” Dawn said plainly. “Sippy cups are when we’re at home,” Katherine said, not explained. “I packed lots of that melon juice you like, though?” Juice she didn’t even like… Juice she found palatable because it was already decided on and bought for her…! “Oh, that stuff? My niece can’t get enough of it!” Dayna chuckled. “And you packed her a whole bag of that? Goodness, Dawn. Sweetie, I think your Mommy’s gonna spoil you rotten…!” And true to her word, Dawn could feel the rot building in her brain. “Okay… Gotta go for real this time,” Katherine finally said to Dawn. “Is everything okay? Do you feel fine?” Hardly. This was reaching new levels of suckiness with each passing minute. “Yes. I’m fine.” “Okay,” and without asking, Katherine pulled her in for another snug and tight hug. A worrisome hum left the budding Mommy’s heart. “Like I said, I’m gonna be nearby and I’ll be checking in often, okay?” “Mhm.” “Good,” and she crossed the line again with another wet kiss on the forehead that Dawn was rubbing away the moment she turned. “Thank you again, Dayna!” Katherine waved, though her eyes kept stealing looks at Dawn like she’d never get the chance to see her again. “Anytime! See you later!” And she was gone. Now Dawn was on friend number two, and how things would go from there was pure uncertainty. Dayna smiled nonetheless down at the girl though. “So Dawn, is this your first time at the library?” At this one, yes? At any of them? “No? I’ve been to libraries before.” That apparently put a look of surprise on the woman’s face. “Really, now?” “Yes?” Was it that surprising? “I’ve never heard of a library around here allowing Littles in on their own…” Dayna mused. “But anyway, I’m so glad I get to spend the day with you!” “Great.” Too bad the feeling was far from mutual. “Mommies and Daddies come and like to drop their kids off here while they get what they need. Every day there’s someone like me here to read you all lots of fun and exciting stories!” Dayna held a hand to her chest, just in case Dawn didn’t realize that she was the only Amazon within a thirty foot radius. “Uh-huh.” “And, from what I know, you must still be pretty new to your Mommy and Daddy, huh? So, something tells me that you might know yourself a teeny tiny bit better than Mommy might right now? So, if you’re comfortable telling me, is there anything else that I should know about you?” What else should she know? What? That Dawn was kidnapped against her will? That she’s stuck in a dimension and far from home? That she had no business whatsoever being in diapers, and that this was all some cheap farce forcing her into something she wasn’t? “I just want to be left alone.” “Alone~?” Dayna sang with a gasp. “Well that’s no fun! Don’t you wanna meet all the other kids that are gonna be here soon?” Was she being serious? No, she probably was. “Not really.” Not at all. What was the best case scenario? Seeing a face she’d likely only ever meet once in her life? What’s worse, someone in just as shitty of a situation or one that was twistedly worse? The last thing she wanted was a closeup of what she could potentially be destined to become. “Mm…well, I hope you’ll come around…!” And Dawn’s unfortunate answer was to simply take a swig from her bottle. Then her eyes drifted to the side, somehow quickly learning to dread what she cherished so much. The army of books surrounding her, all vile in some sort of way, would now become the poison that she was forced to pick, per Katherine’s amended deal… She reluctantly stuck her free hand out for one of the books, hoping to finish the “fun” sooner rather than later, but her hand was promptly pushed back. “Ah-ah!” Dayna, tutted, “Dawn, that’s a rule we have here. No food or drinks around the books.” And Dawn looked down at the bottle, dumbfounded. Then why in the hell did she give me this…?! So sighing, Dawn put the bottle down on the floor in front of her sneakers, resuming the search. But so too did the Amazon hand block her again. Now looking a bit annoyed, Dawn glanced up at the woman. “No food. No drinks.” Dawn repeated, trying not to sound pissy. Did she not do as she was told? “Dawn, your juice is right there,” Dayna pointed to the ground with a knowing look. “Finish up your bottle then you can play with the books.” Was reading not even reading anymore? Now it was playing? “Then put it back in the bag?” Dawn shrugged, like the problem solely lied with the newly appointed caretaker. How wishy-washy were these people going to be? First it wasn’t her problem, then suddenly it was again? “We’ll put it back once it’s empty, honey. Drink your juice.” More of being told what to do. Dawn did not like. “…My Mommy said I had to pick out a book to read and show her later… My hands are clean. Do you want me to show you?” And feeling especially bitchy in the most passive way possible, Dawn was already stretching out her arms, waving out her open palms. “Don’t worry, sweetie, we’ll wipe those down with some wet wipes after. Tell you what: how about I read you something while you drink your juice?” And Dawn turned her hands, already finding them spotless. What wiping did they need? Was it more gaslighting and conditioning just to make all these stupid rules even more absolute? Just as she was about to regretfully reach down for her bottle, Dayna’s hand reached forward, flipping up Dawn’s shirt and latching on the front of her pants, diaper included. It was fast and prompt, but for a full few seconds the Amazon peered down the front of her diaper. “S-stop!” Dawn yelped, pulling back forcefully and hard, but her pants and diaper only slapped shut once Dayna decided to let her go. “Why did you do that?!” “Because I know what a little attitude sounds like, honey,” Dayna smiled with a knowing look, gamifying her small bout of sexual harassment. “Dry though… Wet diapies can sometimes be a bit uncomfy.” Was this really how the day was going to go? One filled with unprompted, nonconsensual peeks at Dawn’s privates? Ka…Katherine was unacceptable. She shouldn’t be doing it either, but…if Kathrine was rock bottom, then A complete stranger like Dayna was negative levels beyond the bedrock that her fake Mommy was supposed to be. “I can tell you if I’m wet!” Not that she’d ever say it, though. “Besides, you’re…! You’re not allowed to do that!” “Dawn, honey, I check diapers for kids in here all the time?” “And did they consent to that? Did they give you permission?” “Their parents did, sweetie?” Right, because circular logic be damned; how wasn’t this a daycare, again? “Well I didn’t. And no one else gave it to you, either!” What a clever way of avoiding the M-word. “Then if I can’t check you, how am I going to know once you need a change?” “Because you aren’t going to know! K…” No way to avoid it this time. “Mommy said she was going to check. So it’s none of your business.” “Uh-huh…” Dayna briefly nodded, and whatever logic and truth she was using, it didn’t seem to be flying by her so freely. And without a definitive conclusion, Dayna stood back up. “Do you wanna drink your juice over at the circle while I get some books together?” Just so the Amazon could watch her like a hawk? With no words, Dawn grabbed her bottle, half-expecting another sneak attack on her pants. But because there wasn’t, she tried to walk as calmly and noiselessly as she could. If it wasn’t something explicitly annoying to do, or demeaning enough, she was willing to give in to a point that hopefully didn’t make many waves… It was just her and a stranger trying to be as handsy with her as if she were Katherine. What right did she have? Just Dawn and someone she hardly knew on top of what was going to be an incoming brigade of tots coming and going. More than likely adult bodies, muscles and breasts, diapers and all. The bags of beans were roundish, irregular and tall. One bag she could see a little bit over as a testament to its height, and she tossed her bottle up on the bright green material wrapped all around it. If only it could have been one of the modern, fur-cloth kinds that actually felt expensive. This was just thick industrial plastic cloth reminiscent of her actual daycare days that was only about bright colors and a rough balance between function and form. She grabbed onto the smooth material, scraping her hands as she swung her leg to try and force an indent to get into the seat. Her thick sneaker slipped though as she leaned into it, trying to climb but only deforming the beady inside. “Oops, those are a little tough to climb!” Dayna right from behind chuckled, and before Dawn knew it a hand pressed against her bottom, rocketing her straight up and into the seat. Dawn spun her body to look up at the predator, quickly muttering, “Thank you…” Better to be said fast than told later to do the same. “Of course!” Dayna smiled, and off she hummed behind the rocking chair, perusing all the books along the high Amazon shelf that Dawn just like every other Little, with or without food and drink was strictly prohibited from. Ridiculous… Dawn sighed, begrudgingly sucking the bottle. Tiny spurts came out with each tiring suck. Since when was drinking supposed to be an exercise? She held the bottle up to the ceiling, just so gravity made absolutely sure that not an ounce of work was wasted on scoring the liquid. And it sucked. It sucked so much. Not just the sucking of her bottle, but sucking of how halfway decently good the juice truly was. Whatever melon the taste was supposed to mimic, it didn’t change the sweet taste with a tinge of tang. It was like a tropical punch on a warm and sunny day. Too bad she was busy spending hers inside a designated space for children. One bottle later and Dawn was back on her feet. The empty bottle was finished and left behind on the beanbag seat. Finally unhindered, she grabbed the first book she saw off the shelf. Nope. Dumb. Boring. Was this one about diapers? A story about milk? A teddy bear army? What kind of ideas did this– “Dawn?” A curt voice caught her attention. Like an afterthought, Dawn glanced over at Dayna and all her many towering feet. Her eyes and mouth were perched on the edge of expectant and disapproval. Great. What was her problem now? “What? I finished my drink?” “But we didn’t clean off your hands,” Dayna reminded, and Dawn may or may not have “forgotten.” “My hands are clean, though?” “Dawn…don’t be difficult,” Dayna, apparently the new queen, admonished her. “Put the book down and let’s wipe your hands.” And limiting it to just a look, Dawn did set down the book, standing in place. Maybe Dayna was trying to avoid an argument that the Little, despite being told not to, was priming herself for, because she walked off on her own, rummaging through the diaper bag and coming back with a square white wipe in her hand. “Can you hold out your hands for me, please?” And out they came. The wipes were quick and brief, but her hands certainly felt wet. Thanks, wet wipes. In fact, Dawn would argue that her hands felt even more inept to be handling someone else’s property than they originally did. Not her problem, though. She was just following the “rules.” “Okay, all clean now. Just let me know if you want another bottle, okay?” “Uh-huh.” Back to “playing” she went. More bad books. More crimes against literature. She had progressed to the point of glancing at pages more than just the covers and titles, and the regret was only growing. The books were off. The contents were strange. They all had simple and obvious lessons, like any kid’s book would, but the teachings and morals were…off. Learning to share. Being selfless…be kind, be nice… All that was there, but so were other things. And Tommy learned that the best way to have fun was being a good little boy, after all. Not a shoe, nor a poo was out of place that night. All thanks to Mothery Moo! Diapers go squish-squish! Panties go dff-dff… The illustrations were off. Emphasis on diapers and families weren’t just one-time coincidences Dawn had seen in the other books. It wasn’t all of them, but so many books were far more deceptive than she was realizing. It taught simple lessons, but all the wrong ones. What’s more, the less offensive stories that weren’t thick slabs of cardboard pages still had their strange material quirks. The pages were still far from paper; thick and tough. Like construction paper times three, or something. It was smooth and sturdy like the pages themselves were plastic? Not that she’d try to deface a book, but she did press a little, watching the paper-like material bend and arch. What were these things made of…? “Oops, are we the first ones?” An Amazon, finally not in a uniform but plainclothes, was standing by the entrance of the area, holding a little girl against her hip. Well…no…not little. A Little. The mystery was solved once Dawn noticed the slight bumps hiding behind her dress, which was most of everything that she could identify about the girl being once a woman. The curves on her legs were hiding behind her thick, frilly socks traveling up to the knees. Her hips and waist disappeared underneath the length of her sundress. The flowery pin in her straightened hair wasn’t doing her any favors either. “Fraid not!” Dayna laughed, walking past Dawn and up to the front. “She’s number two. Who do I have the pleasure of taking in today?” “This is Kailey,” the mother, beaming, set the Little down on the floor, landing on her two feet. “I needed to do some research in one of the computer labs… Is it okay to leave her here for a little bit?” “Absolutely is! Can you just sign her in right here?” she motioned to a wooden slant extruding out of the framed gate. “Helps us keep track, and all.” “Yeah, I imagine it gets a little busy here.” Dawn watched the woman mutter while she scribbled on something. “Should I leave her supplies?” “Only if you think you’re going to be long.” “Mm…” the Amazon hummed, holding her own equipment bag, similar to the one Katherine got. “Just in case?” She offered it up, and Dayna accepted. “Thank you so much!” the woman smiled appreciatively, and Dawn slowly drifted ahead and around to a private spot behind one of the aisle shelves. Her back came against the shelf and her bottom sunk until the dry, airy squish hit the floor. She angled a new story on her knees sitting close to her chest. And yet, even when trying to read something that she knew would hurt her, life wouldn’t even let have that self-destruction. With ears too pristine for their own good, Dawn had the displeasure of hearing Dayna start all over again with the newest cut of fresh meat. “Hi there, Kailey! My name is Dayna.” “Hi…” A quiet, demure voice answered back. “Sounds like your Mommy’s gonna be a little busy; do you like stories?” “Yeah…” The girl, Kailey, was it? She sounded shy and reserved. And after Dawn’s far too close encounter with that guy in diapers down the street… Why was she shy? Embarrassed, or just emulating that same kid-like behavior that came with meeting new people? Whatever it was, Kailey must have been a breath of fresh air for Dayna. Since it sounded like she followed the script, the librarian cheered without reservation. “Well~! I love stories. And I bet if you tell me something that you really like, I think I can…” And finally Dawn could tune them out. Good riddance. Still, she dropped the book, trying to stay quiet. The shelf to put it back would mean showing herself to them, and that she wasn’t a fan of. But she wasn’t shy, of course. She just wanted to be left alone, just like she told Dayna earlier. Carefully she stood back up and softly crinkled her way deeper into the tiny maze. Or in other words she went one bookshelf deeper to the far left reach of the corner, positioning herself somewhere between the white picket fence and shelf. I’ll just put the other one back later… Dawn sufficed, leaving the story she brought with her on the floor and reaching over for a new book to disappoint herself with. At this point she’d kill for just an informational text. Something without characters, a plot, or anything else whatsoever. A dictionary, an atlas; something that didn’t have the opportunities to be exploited as a mockery of fiction. But she didn’t have that, so the best she could do was try not to think too deeply on the content, and instead hang on to enough information that’d at least convince Katherine into thinking she found something. If only she were actually “reading” though. This wasn’t reading. The characters didn’t matter, and neither did the story. The more she absorbed and observed, the text only felt more and more superficial. Good stories were written to tell a tale and promote a message second. This was the reverse. It was all busy traffic of vehicles in different shapes and sizes focused on delivering a message first and foremost. What did the charming prince matter if the princess he rescued rewarded his efforts with a nursery locked away in her tower? Sleeping beauty wasn’t about the heroism of a savior, but just an easy dressing to promote the importance of naps. It was all so fake and so obvious, yet she had nothing fair to compare it to. This is all this place was? Propaganda? And to think, Dawn turned her head, peering through the mesh lining in between the plastic etched posts along the fence. Tall, mighty bookshelves with actual information. Real authors. Real stories. Real enjoyment and excitement. Christ, the bookshelves’ intricate wooden carvings told more of a story than the cardboard in her hands! Meanwhile, Dawn’s hand planted itself on the smooth, textureless heavy-duty page, retrieved from an elementary school shelf. It wasn’t the paper she knew and it wasn’t the feeling she appreciated. With a sad puff she kicked out her feet, laying out her legs straight. How long was she supposed to keep doing this? Maybe if it was something she actually wanted to read, she could bear with it, but being stuck like this…? Maybe if Katherine can change the rules, Dawn could try begging for a book to bring back… But that was for later, and this was now. Now rightfully so, sucked. She blinked, finally noticing the odd one out in her peripherals. The moment she raised her head, the anomaly jerked itself out of view, though not without the whiplash of her straight hair waving out and back in. Dawn quietly stared at the corner of the bookshelf for a moment longer. She was totally just being watched, wasn’t she? Someone was staring at her? Then it clicked. The only person she knew of in this tiny reeducation camp hardly cared about any discretion… Dawn squeezed her legs a bit closer together. Someone else was here, though. Someone that already sounded shy. Someone that Dawn didn’t want to deal with. She stayed quiet, staring not for something, but because that’s where her eyes last were. Miraculously, the girl peeked again, only now she did make a small yelp once eye contact with Dawn was unavoidable. Great. She was being watched. Where was Dayna? Couldn’t she keep her away? And to make matters worse, Dawn could already feel the tinge from needing to pee. Was this really how things were going to go? After an inward sigh, Dawn called out, “Kailey?” That’s her name, right? “You don’t have to keep hiding…?” Immediately a switch was flipped. Faster than her face could hide, Kailey’s head shot out completely, and then some of her lower body too. “You know my name?” Kailey asked loud and clear, like indoors and outdoors were the same to her. Still sitting on the floor, Dawn blinked, not sure how to react. “...Uh…yeah. I heard it earlier…” Maybe she had a poor choice of words, or her tone gave off the wrong vibe. Either way, Kailey fully stepped out from the shelf now, hiding her hands behind her back. Her shoulders shifted pensively as her feet in yellow buckle-strapped sandals pitter-pattered forward, finally stopping on a dime with just about a couple feet apart from them. Then a finger from Kailey singled Dawn out completely, still hiding her other arm behind her back. With her pointing accusation she asked, “What’s your name?” “It’s Dawn…” When did I invite her to get so close? Apparently communication meant consent to this girl. The discomfort and awkwardness only grew once Kailey parked herself right where she stood. And in a moment of carelessness, the grown woman with her knees wide apart flashed what was between her legs, and it was an upsetting sight to see. Underneath the yellow of her sundress was an unmistakable bulge of white; a pair of underwear that crinkled just like Dawn’s, except this Little hardly seemed to mind. Finally she crossed her legs, but where her dress settled between her legs was where it could rest comfortably and conform around the slight bump. “Whatcha doin?” Kailey asked. Dawn almost thought she was being playful, like a lackadaisical friend, but no matter what she said, the much more modest of the two couldn’t misplace the sincerity she seemed to have. She sounded innocent and careless, like…she wasn’t all there. Almost like… “Uh…” The unusual exchange was enough to make Dawn actually forget. She glanced down at her lap, reminding herself what was there. “Just…reading.” “What’s it about? Is it about frogs?” her question came on a dime, and the second sentence made her eyes light up. Frogs? Why would she even ask about that? “No, it’s…er…” What even was this supposed to be about? Well, as stated earlier, what it was “about” wasn’t actually the case, so more aptly, what was it disguised as? “It’s about…birds. Yeah.” Birds getting ready for a big dinner with their hedgehog friends… How exciting. Off in the distance Dawn could hear a couple more voices. Were more people showing up already? “Oh.” Kailey answered quite simply. Clearly her interest had not been piqued. “My name’s Kailey! I like frogs!” she giggled, and Dawn nodded. “Uhm…nice to meet you, Kailey. I’m Dawn…” With their reintroductions finished, Kailey immediately started the next topic. “Why’re you here? My Mommy’s doing important research stuff, she said.” “I’m here because…mine works here.” “Your Mommy works here?!” Kailey exclaimed and rocked forward on her behind. Her head started to wander up to the ceiling as she looked around frantically, pointing out an empty rail in the ceiling. “Does she talk to the book robots?” The more she heard, the more Dawn was quickly realizing this was the exact kind of person she didn’t want to run into. Another person like that kid– that former adult from down the street… Another victim. It hurt just to see and hear her… “She helps fix them, I guess, yeah…” This woman was just a product of the world. She was part of what scared and angered Dawn so much. But as much of a product she was, so too was she a victim. “What…what does your owner do?” Sure she’d follow the rule to refer to Katherine as her mother, but no one said that she couldn’t afford her peers some form of dignity/? “Owner?” Kailey tilted her head, then giggled, “That’s weird! My Mommy makes people not sick! She can fix anybody! One time, she fixed a boo-boo on my knee!” And with a demonstration, Kailey lifted her knee, hiking up her dress well enough to show her spotless knee, save for a little red tint. But of course, Dawn couldn’t not see her stylized diaper, covered in frogs and all. Certainly there was a pattern… So her owner was a doctor? Interesting. Someone so successful would trouble themselves with enslaving another human being. For someone so committed to helping others, in what way did warping another person’s mind count for that? “That’s cool,” Dawn tried to stay flexible, and avoid looking at her diaper. “So she works at a hospital?” “Uhh…” Kailey hummed, sounding uncertain. “She…works atta place where people get better!” “Ohh, okay,” Dawn nodded. So…a hospital? “Do you have a Daddy?” What was with the twenty questions? Dawn didn’t want to do any thinking, nor did she feel like talking. She felt bad turning the woman away, but also not at the same time for the sake of herself. “Uhm, Kailey?” Dawn scooched back against the shelf, just to stand herself back up. “It was nice meeting you, but uh…do you think I could have some privacy?” “Huh? Why?” Did she really need to explain social boundaries? To a woman clearly in her twenties…? In her twenties, but in diapers, too… “I’m busy reading right now…and I can’t really focus when we’re talking… Do you mind?” “Can I be quiet?” Kailey asked. Be quiet and stay. And before Dawn answered, her bladder twinged again. Fuck. Why did she have to drink anything at all? Couldn’t she just live off of air, just so she didn’t have to take anything in and put anything out? Cue the other noisy, energetic voices across the shelves. All of them, adults, more than likely, and that was enough to make Dawn even more unsettled. “Don’t you wanna go play with the…other people? I’m not really doing anything fun.” “But Dayna said you’d wanna?” And in a burst of disbelief, Dawn exclaimed, “What?” What did Dayna say? “She…said…” and Kailey brought her hands together pensively. The amount and kind of emotion Dawn had used clearly caught the woman-toddler by surprise. “W-wait, nevermind,” Dawn tried to dismiss the tension. “I was just surprised, is all. Thanks for telling me… But sorry, I’m not really looking to play.” Or hang out. Or socialize. The girl’s eyes were wandering anywhere but Dawn’s face, too nervous to confront a basic misunderstanding. “Okay…are you mad at me?” “No, I’m not mad. Just…can you please leave me alone?” However old Kailey was, it didn’t change her attitude. It really was like a kid’s. Why was she acting like a kid? Reason or not, dealing with an effective child, essentially shooing them away… It felt weird. “Okay…” Kailey, quite dejected, stood herself up and waddled away, taking Dawn’s less than satisfied mood with her, leaving her with something worse. Don’t feel bad… It’s better she stays involved with whatever sick fantasy she’s been forced into… Better to keep to myself. After all, none of this would last forever. It was all temporary. Absolutely. Without a doubt. She went back to her book, finding happiness once more with being reunited with her loneliness. The “enjoyment” she was starting to get out of her reading was spotting the devices and traps that supposedly tricked people into believing what they wrote, or what they didn’t. The birds went tweet-tweet. The cows went moo. Amazons were portrayed as some godlike figure, or the ex-machina that made everything all good again, at least in the stories that included humans. Amazons seemed to be the solution. So. Many. Times. The resolution always led to relying on a giant somehow, or some higher power… Tell an “adult,” or “get a grownup.” Some were seemingly basic, while others came off as far more targeted. Midway into her next skim, a shadow started to loom over her. “What.” Dawn, finding it far easier to tiptoe around her words with an Amazon, looked up at Dayna. The same person that was spewing lies at other Littles to try and get her to do something. “Looks like you’ve been reading quite a bit!” she remarked with a smile. “...” Dawn glanced over at her growing pile. “Yeah.” “What do you say we have a juice break?” Dayna asked with a bottle already extended. “Uh, no thanks. All good.” Though her bladder wasn’t. Not like she was telling that to Dayna, though. “Mmm,” a deliberate, disagreeing hum came from her caretaker, “How about we hydrate just a little bit, hon? Lots of liquids are important for kiddos like you!” “No thanks, I’m fine,” Dawn repeated, and Dayna’s smile and demeanor didn’t budge. “Dawn? I’d like you to have some juice, sweetie.” And thinking better on it, the Little presented with a one-answer choice finally huffed, closing the boring book and finally accepted the bottle she wanted nothing to do with. It was a one-two punch, of course. One was more of a burden on her bladder, which was only becoming more uncomfortable. Two was the much more situational problem, which was… “While you’re drinking that, how about you come over to the circle? We’re gonna start a story!” she tempted, and Dawn didn’t bite. Regardless, it meant having to leave her corner because now with a drink she didn’t ask for, it meant not being allowed to touch anything herself… How cruel. “No. I’ll drink the juice, but I’m not interested.” And she promptly turned back for her seat. But before she could walk away, a hand hooked on her pants and diaper. Another surprise diaper check. “Hey!” Dawn spun around with another mean look. “I said you didn’t have permission for that!” “I think I do, sweetie. Your Mommy asked me to watch you while she’s at work. I’m checking everyone else? Don’t you want to stay clean too?” “And I will be clean because I don’t piss myself!” In a moment of frustration, Dawn overstepped her verbiage. “Dawn?” Dayna frowned, and Dawn stiffened. “Do I need to remind you about being on your best behavior? We said we were going to be good for Mommy today, weren’t we?” We were going to be good? As far as Dawn was concerned, her end of the bargain was still being followed. Dayna? She was just being a bitch that had no business getting in the way of that! Really? Was she going to be the arbiter of whether Dawn did or did not get what she shouldn’t even need to earn? “Fine!” Dawn huffed, marching forward and ahead of Dayna. No matter what though, this woman would undoubtedly be getting a poor review. Christ, complaining to Katherine about anything was barely even fifty-fifty. If she couldn’t stick up for herself, what recourse was there?! She emerged into the clearing, the dreaded circle. Standing by the rocking chair she spotted Kailey again, only now she was giggling on her knees, busy with three other adult children. Two boys and one other girl. All fully matured. Muscles and breasts yet again. And just like those were a given, so too were the snug clothes for the boys that either showed off the white plastic waistbands sneaking through their shorts or the fully exposed diaper peeking from underneath a far too short skirt. Not a single book between them was to be found, and instead what looked like action figures and dolls. Self-sourced toys? A gentle hand on her shoulder nudged Dawn forward and away from the chair, or the accursed throne where Dayna just sat. “Okay, kids! Who’s ready for a story!” And in a resounding cheer, all four Littles, Dawn excluded, yelped, “Meeeee!!” “Okay!” Dayna chuckled, still getting that same high all obedient Littles probably gave her. “Let’s make a circle! Criss-cross applesauce, everyone!” “Dawn!” Kailey was quick to waddle-jog over to her, crinkling like a thunderstorm. The moment they came face to face, the difference in height came slightly in Kailey’s favor. Her smile was wide and her eyes were shining, overjoyed to see the one and only adult at heart again. “Can we sit together?” “Oh! Did you make a friend, Dawn?” Dayna smiled from the rocking chair, and Dawn fought from making a dirty look. She damn well knew what she did. Focusing back on Kailey, Dawn at this point didn’t have so much more to lose. For now. “Uh…yeah? Sure?” An excited giggle came from the girl who didn’t hesitate in taking Dawn by the wrist. “I wanna sit on the circle!” she declared, and Dawn went confused while she was dragged over to a spot. Weren’t they already going to sit in the circle? Then her mature mind was able to look down one level lower once she realized how literal Kailey was being. On the circle. One of the circles patterned on the carpet… The other Littles assembled on either end of them, but clearly Kailey had found them the best seats in the house. In the Learning Corner, in other words. Right in front of them now was Dayna, already grabbing the first large book off a high table right next to her. “Okay, are we all comfy?” Dayna surveyed the small group. “Everyone ready?” “Yeeessss!” Another cry in unison. Dawn briefly turned her head out to the exit, where now she could see a few more strangers. Looking at books on faraway shelves. Doing things she actually wished for. And yet here she was, trapped with a bunch of other kids for story time. “Okay… This story is called, ‘Jumping Jeremy’s Fun Day Out!’” Dayna slowly read the cover, and then with both hands she turned the book, showing the whole audience the front cover’s illustration. Kailey’s hip knocked into Dawn’s as she bounced with glee. In a loud voice she giggled excitedly, “Froggies!” Oh. Frogs are her favorite

It's always fun setting expectations for the characters, then trying to figure out all the creative ways to totally upset them, haha. Sometimes it's not as clever, but I really do enjoy setting all the pieces to make one big grand failure! So just possibly, that might include brainstorming on how to include Emily on a particular outing... Thank you for the kind words! Always love getting to read comments! The things they will cook up...! Certainly excited to see the gears turn for that. Isabelle being a mommy is a fun and interesting challenge, because I'd like to carve out her character into someone similar to Joyce, but distinct with her own fun qualities, as well as a slightly different brand on mommying, possibly! In a funny way, she might be able to be a mentor of sorts for Joyce. And a very good idea! Gotta keep the kiddos busy somehow while the adults are talking.

45 - Something Leaks in the Night Being upset about something makes it impossible to appreciate any possible alternative. Frankly, Isabelle had shocked her system that night to the point where she was scared straight, if only for now. It was that same person Joyce did not want to interact with anymore, hence why it aggravated her being the one to reach back out to her, if nothing else but for ending things amicably. But why was she the one having to make the call? Isabelle wronged her. Isabelle surprised and embarrassed the secret, but not so secret, Mommy. If Joyce was on the receiving end of cruelty then apologies and efforts should be going the same way, shouldn’t they? And yet, had Isabelle been the one calling her, the narrative would shift to be about this woman having the audacity to stir the hornet’s nest more than she already had. It was a lose-lose situation. And Joyce just primed the streak to continue once she finally dialed the number and gave in. Maybe she wouldn’t pick up, or miss the call completely. That’d be nice. Very nice. Plausible deniability was probably the best gift this stranger could give Joyce. A clear conscience from making the honest effort to reconnect, but without any of the actual work that went into being the bigger person. One buzz. Two buzz? Three…? Four…!-- “Hello?” It’d been more than a bit since that night and they only spoke once, but Joyce’s lingering grin flatlined completely at the sound of her voice. “...Isabelle? This is Joyce,” she answered formally. Because it was just a phone call, they could have been lightyears apart, yet the tiny gasp from Isabelle on the other line sent all the same chills over Joyce as if they were sharing a booth together all over again. “Joyce?! I almost thought you weren’t going to call!” Probably because I wasn’t planning on it… “Well, when I heard from a friend that you were trying to reach me…” against her better judgment, “I figured I would at least hear you out.” “I’m glad my message got through! I spoke with the host of the event and tried to get your contact information. I’ve had some time to think about what I did, and…I definitely got carried away.” “I would agree.” “Even though it was that kind of event, I asked you some personal questions that made things uncomfortable…” “Yes, you did.” “I owe you an apology; I’m very sorry about that night!” Isabelle was apologizing, and Joyce was annoyed over having to contemplate. Did thanking her for it create the implication that all was well again? It certainly wouldn’t be. So what, ‘thanks for the apology, but that doesn’t undo all the stress you’ve caused?’ Is that an appropriate answer? Toddlers in daycare always had to make amends. By the teacher’s decree, no apology could go unaccepted. But unlike certain cute girlfriends in diapers, Joyce and many other adults didn’t have to answer to a higher authority. Ultimately, an apology hardly did much, but it was enough of a bandage to close the chapter on this and cause to finally forget. Not to mention, with her treat waiting on her out in the living room, likely half-asleep by now in her jammies, being kept from that didn’t exactly ease the tension over the phone. “Well, I appreciate it.” She appreciated it as much as the script told her to. “I can tell that you’re still upset,” Isabelle mentioned so tactlessly, and Joyce tried not to make an aggravated noise. Of course I’m still angry! And don’t just call that out! Don’t you get how stupid that is?! It just makes this even more awkward…! “I would be too!” Isabelle ushered in not more than a second later, like it somehow made things better. “You have every right to be mad at me, but I’ve been so excited since I first saw you!” Whatever supposed remorse Isabelle had been carrying herself to show, on a dime it felt like she was no longer cognisant of any committed wrongdoing whatsoever. Fascination? Excitement? For what? A sight that was seldom seen? A person with a reputation on the line, sticking themselves out for once so willingly and so foolishly jumping straight into the shark pit? It was all entertainment to this woman. Watching Joyce squirm, picking her brain just because, and this phone call now was just to get one last kick at rubbing it in a dull wound. “Isabelle, thank you for calling.” Hardly. “But respectfully, please do not call me–” And in a sudden outburst, one that slipped right by Joyce’s radar, Isabelle interrupted with a gleeful laugh, “--I’m a mommy too!” It slipped right by Joyce. Right by, then back around and struck her squarely in the back of her head. The imaginary blow was so strong that it transcended into reality by slightly forcing Joyce’s back off the behind of her seat. She heard what she heard, but…was that actually what was said? “E…excuse me?” “I should’ve opened up with that…!” Isabelle groaned, openly lamenting over a silly blunder, one that shifted Joyce from pure anger to partially confused. “Joyce, are you still there?” Was she? Physically and digitally, she was, but the mental battlefield was a place Joyce had been suffering continuous losses as of late. “Yes…” cautiously, she answered, “I am.” “Did you hear what I said? I said I’m–” “Yes, I heard you!” Joyce stammered right back. Was this just a trick? Just to get back in Joyce’s good graces? “A…and?” “And?” Isabelle repeated right back. “And…it’s the whole reason why I wanted to speak with you! I was certainly excited when we first met; I’ve been involved in that sphere for so long that I tend to be a bit more casual about things that others might find a bit more sensitive, so I’m sorry for that as well…” Isabelle was all energy and burning fuel. She had the spirit of a child that couldn’t stop running their mouth. All the spunk and glamor Joyce would love to see in Emily, only in this case it was channeled into an adult that was seriously pressing boundaries. But Joyce was a skeptic by nature, even when she was knocked off her game. Isabelle, a complete stranger that could be so forthcoming and invasive, disrespecting limits and making matters uncomfortable, was now claiming to be like Joyce? “If I’m being completely honest, I think I had you figured out a little after we started chatting,” Isabelle added nonchalantly, and thankfully Joyce in the privacy of herself was allowed to make a perturbed face. “You had me figured out?” Maybe in work she could get a read on people and their intentions, but discerning their interests? “It’s nothing to be worried about!” Isabelle laughed with herself, and Joyce was trying not to scream. What about this was funny? And Christ…! Why wasn’t she just hanging up already?! “Joyce, hon, I know this must be new for you, so please hear me out!” “This…I’m fine, alright? Stuff like this doesn’t bother me. You’re just…you’re being very forward right now.” “Hmm? Ah! So that means at the restaurant, those animal tails that go up the–” “Stop!” Joyce cried the spiel into silence, only for a new wave of laughs to boil right over it, all at Joyce’s expense yet again. Her trembling hands held the phone away just to hear her bully’s laughter less. So much for putting on a front. Despite it making her look weak, Joyce hoped for an objective reminder as to why Isabelle thought that they were in any way alike. “See? You are new to this! Joyce, Joyce! I’m not trying to tease you! I’m being honest with you, so do the same with me!” Finally with some backbone, Joyce spoke up. “Honest? What are you talking about? You’ve done nothing but terrorize me, try to contact me through someone else, and now you’re just trying to get closer to me to laugh some more? You do know that I can hang up this call, right?” “Aye! Okay, okay! I’m sorry! I lost track again!” And after a pause, she sounded a bit more grounded. “Joyce, I just wanted you to know that I wanted to get closer to you because we like the same things?” “Joyce…?” Suddenly, a distant voice behind a door called. Briefly, she muttered to Isabelle, “I need a minute.” And having lived the horror once already, Joyce didn’t make the same mistake as last time by putting the call on hold. She huffed, trying to cool down before standing up from her chair, then strolled over to the door. “What’s up, cupcake?” Joyce smiled down at Emily from the half-open door. Emily wasn’t smiling, partly because it felt like she was putting herself out on a limb that hadn’t been ventured before. For all she knew, Joyce was having a work discussion. Or was it still with that Isabelle person? Was she allowed to interrupt that? Would Joyce be angry? “Is everything okay?” Joyce, however, didn’t stop smiling as she caressed Emily’s cheek then adjusted the collar on her sleeper. “Sorry; Mommy was being a bit noisy, huh?” Now she was bothering Emily? Splendid, another reason to be pissy with Isabelle. “No, I mean…I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.” And just for good measure, Emily’s hand drifted over for Joyce’s. After squeezing her five digits right back, Joyce said, “Yes, it is. I’m just…letting someone know that I didn’t like something that they did.” “Uh-huh…” Emily nodded, accepting it for what it was. Mhm. She’s angry. “Did you need some more milk?” Joyce leaned on her toes, peering past Emily’s head to somehow spot an empty bottle. “No, not yet,” Emily said right back, and Joyce smirked. “Yet?” And Emily’s face spasmed once she realized what she said. “N-no, I don’t need more!” Emily huffed, pressing on Joyce’s stomach and forcing her back into the office. “Just hurry up already!” “Okay, okay…!” her mommy laughed as she let herself slide inside. “Oh, wait! One more thing!” Joyce begged as she spun around, and Emily dropped her hands, waiting for what she wanted. And Joyce lunged forward with her hands, snatching Emily by her sides and gripping the fabric of her pajamas. Then with a look of pure satisfaction, she tugged and lifted, stretching Emily’s cuddly bodysuit until the crotch was as taught as could be, treating her to a wonderful bulge. Some people liked to see panty lines, but mommies loved curves that crinkled. “J-Joyce!” Emily slipped back, or tried to. “Sorry, you’re just too cute!” she laughed, sneaking one last swat on Emily’s blind spot as she ran away, retreating to her fortress of pillows, cushions and blankets. “Behave~!” she jovially warned once the black head of hair whipped around the corner. Then she shut the door again, now a bit more tempered. “Hello? Isabelle?” Joyce opened up the line again. Isabelle was ready and prompt. “Hey there again! Am I interrupting something?” “Yes. You are,” Joyce spoke much less kindly, and Isabelle took it in stride with another chuckle. “Mm, well, I don’t want to be an enemy, Joyce! I just wanted to be able to meet again?” “And meet for what? I accept your apology, Isabelle. There, can we leave it at that?” “Did you forget where we met? I do have projects, Joyce. I was scouting is all, and I think you’d be perfect!” “I somehow don’t think I’d be…” Given that their energy levels seemed to be in diametrically opposed places, nothing Isabelle seemed to say could be received without some form of skepticism. “And you won’t be thinking that once we have some more time to talk! Fine! It doesn’t even have to be about business, okay? Can’t I treat you to something as a formal apology? You and a special someone, maybe?” “Are we finished now?” “Okay, okay! Just you!” Isabelle cried, back to playing up her emotions. “Gosh, you must be one of those stern types…” “I appreciate the offer with trying to meet, but I don’t live in the same state as where we met,” and thank goodness for that. “And that’s fine! Just let me know where and I’ll make it happen!” Or in other words, location and cost was seemingly of no issue. Joyce was quietly raising her brow. “Isabelle, look, really, I appreciate you wanting to make amends, but I really don’t think–” “You’ll be interested, I promise! What’s the harm? I just want an hour of your time, and I’m willing to pay for all the expenses! If you really weren’t interested, wouldn’t you have hung up by now?” And calling her out like that certainly gave her reason to. But foolishly, she didn’t. She didn’t bother hiding her sigh from the woman on the other end. “How…how soon?” “Oh, nothing immediate? I think we might both be a bit busy… How about this: I’ll figure something out, and you just let me know if that works! Thank you for hearing me out, Joyce! I promise you won’t regret it!” “Uh-huh…” already regretting it, Joyce answered. Isabelle had made the grand reveal that she was a “mommy,” and as revolutionary as that normally may have been, the woman had just about squandered every spec of shock it could’ve given. Her personality had just about ruined it all. By all accounts Joyce should’ve been intrigued and over the moon, yet that was the least seemingly “real” thing she was taking stock in right now. “And don’t forget; if you want, you can bring your partner!--” And quite deftly, Joyce’s phone beeped as she hung up the call. “Nope. Told you I’d do it…” Joyce kicked back from her desk and sprung from her chair. Somehow she was still involved with Isabelle. Great. Great? Not so great. Who knows. Joyce could only exhale and try to ignore whatever doubts she was having, no matter how likely they were. But at least for now she was allowed to forget about some of it. She could tune out the madness for a little bit longer and focus on what she wanted to. “Emily!” Joyce sang down the hall. “Mommy needs cuddles!” “Ugh…I wish I didn’t have to go to work tomorrow…” Joyce sighed, taking the lead and sitting on the bed. Emily was paused by the doorway, fidgeting uncomfortably as she closed her eyes, fumbling with her hands. “It’s safe to go pee-pee on the bed, you know?” Joyce chuckled, enjoying the sight. “I-I know…!” Emily hissed just when the hissing noise stopped coming from her diaper. “Ugh…” and she pouted as she spun her head around her back, noting the fabric of her sleeper expanding and rounding out of her protection. “Why does it have to be so snug?” “So it brings out all your cute curves?” Joyce explained normally for a second, then she couldn’t help but laugh once Emily gave her a death glare. “What? I’m not lying!” “I don’t like your idea of curves…” Emily kept it at that, stealing a glance at the curves she liked on Joyce, then frowning at the ones around her own crotch. Luckily the apartment was well-ventilated, otherwise the inside of her diaper would’ve been a sauna. “What happens if I need to pee tonight and I know I’m gonna leak?” she went on the grunt, pulling at the back of her pajamas. “I won’t be able to take this thing off!” “You won’t leak,” Joyce casually dismissed her concern, “and the pajamas are meant to be Emily-proofed, honey. Keeps tykes like you from trying to play with the potty. Kinda like this morning?” “I was gonna do it in my…! In my you-know-what!” Emily puffed with some air in her chest, marching over with a dampened crinkle and leaping on the bed. Luckily a diapered behind made for a perfect place for a hand to push her the full way on the mattress. Courtesy of Mommy, of course. “Your you-know-what definitely got used,” Joyce remarked with a giggle. “Are you sure we didn’t watch a scary movie?” Though, her hand did press a tiny bit. Maybe a change wouldn’t be the worst idea… “You would know,” Emily grunted from behind Pip. “I know you like them, so why can’t we watch them? I can handle it!” “And yet each time that somehow leads to nightmares,” Joyce sighed, also remembering her as quite the cuddle bug, for better and worse. “Didn’t we talk about dropping this whole ‘big kid’ business? I’m not gonna pretend like I magically forgot all your quirks, sweetie.” “Nope. Forgot,” Emily said as her waist took a weighty swing, thick wet diaper and all just to get on her back. “Forgot?” Joyce gasped with faux surprise. “Then I guess I should remind you?” “No…that’s okay.” “Ah– See? That’s why I can’t leave you alone for so long!” Joyce tutted. “See, the good girl I know and love always knew that she should follow Mommy’s rules. Where did my good girl go?” “She never existed,” Emily deflected, reaching up for the sky and finding Joyce’s hands smothering them. “Oh I know she did, and I know she still does! Secondly, my good girl knew she shouldn’t be watching scary movies. Frankly, you’re tempting me to make it a taboo subject altogether?” “Nooo! It’s fine! I’m being serious!” “And I’m not?” Joyce reeled back with a hand against her chest. “The good, cute little girl that I know wouldn’t fuss with Mommy when she said something? The adorable Emily that I know wouldn’t go playing with the potty. And my cute, irresistibly adorable baby girl,” she pressed on Emily’s thick, fortified front, “wouldn’t care one bit on what’s happening in their diaper?” And Emily gave Joyce a hard look, one which Joyce was being oppositely as soft and receiving toward. Emily just wasn’t landing her hits and was being exploited with each and every dodge or misfire. “Oh, how was your phone call with Isabelle?” It was an instant frown from Joyce, like getting splashed with cold water. Joyce stood up from the bed and started rolling Emily like a ball over to the pillows. “H-h-H-h-hey!” Emily giggled with each tumble and roll, finally crashing into the cushions. Joyce turned and disappeared strutting away. “And my cute baby wouldn’t bring up boring things Mommy didn’t like talking about…!” she shouted from halfway down the hall. Soon she was back with a bottle of milk, forcing it on Emily before she could bring up anything unpleasant again. “Cahn I ask abouht it later?” Emily mumbled from behind the nipple. “Mm…” Joyce contemplated. “Maybe. But not now. Drink. And only talk about cute stuff. That’s an order.” “From big bossy Joyce?” Emily giggled, pulling the bottle out. “From big bossy Mommy,” Joyce stuck out her lip, pushing the bottle right back in. “New rule: if you don’t have anything cute to say, then don’t say it at all.” Emily freed her mouth once again. Took a deep breath, and then…! “PFFFTBBBBB…!” she flapped with her wet tongue in a buzzzy noise. “And you are so…so lucky those pajamas are protecting you…” Joyce looked down on Emily with pure pretend disdain; the smaller girl fighting a fit of laughter. Had her stomach been bare and accessible, she would’ve shown Emily just what a real raspberry sounded like. God help the poor girl if Joyce didn’t forget about it this time come tomorrow. “Well, now that you’ve just about broken every rule imaginable, how about we hop off to bed?” “Mmm…okay,” Emily hummed, acting like she had a choice. And off to bed they went. For…only so long. Late in the night Emily was awake, but not comfortably or willingly so. She quietly moaned with an all too familiar ache in her bladder. Stupid milk…! She looked down at the bottle with still a quarter of contents left in it, but the other three were apparently looking to leave her body now. Joyce, expectedly, was slumbering away, close against Emily with her arm over her like a safety rail. And while she may have been quiet, asleep and oblivious, that didn’t excuse her from the trouble and turmoil she was causing Emily right then. Peeing in the middle of the night was never fun, and unfortunately it was starting to be something that picked up in frequency as of late. Maybe she had so many continuous baby days to thank for that… But this was her situation, and now she had to deal with it. And regretfully, deal with it she would. Without a way of taking off her own pajamas, holding her diaper to her skin like a prison, she had no other choice than to deal if it meant getting back to sleep. She slightly stretched, feeling the snug gatherers on her ankles slide up her skin, bringing the butt of her diaper closer and closer as it compressed her padding just to maintain shape. Carefully she snaked her leg out of the grip between Joyce’s thighs, who in her sleep managed to roll partially the other way, unperturbed. Emily did the same, now staring up at the ceiling. Sighing again, she lifted her knees for the easiest position she could manage, and surely, not so slowly, she coaxed out a trickle and quickly into a stream. Exhaling for a whole other reason, the warmth spread like any liquid would fill a container, and with Emily’s skin as the surface, she could feel every inch of it spread around her. Some was quickly absorbed, and some took a bit longer, left freely to roam around her hips and underneath her bum as the mess reached as far as it could before being swallowed by the sponge surrounding it. And it was…relaxing. Sort of. Almost like flipping a pillow over just to feel the cool side. It was a knot of stress she could unwind and immediately reap the rewards of comfort once again, like a sweet reminder for the pleasure that there was in slumber. The warmth was nice, and spreading. And spreading…and…spreading…? Emily laid still, though she slightly stretched out her legs, bringing them close to the mattress. Yet the moment she did, her thighs touched the back legs of her pajamas, and the feeling was warm. Warm and wet. Half asleep and experiencing a whole new sensation, Emily’s hand drifted down below, lightly touching where it felt strange. Wet. Very wet, but not where it should be. She lifted her hand up to her nose, hesitant, but inspecting it, and once she smelled it she– “J-Joyce…?” Emily murmured, whispered, stuttered and clammered. She was laying on her side now like her life depended on it, hugging against Joyce desperately close, just so she didn’t fall back where it’d been… “J-Joyce…?” she whispered urgently, trying to stay calm. “P-please? Please wake up? Joyce?” And finally, Joyce moaned with her eyes still closed. “Hnnn… Emily…?” she whispered tiredly, reaching out and finding Emily’s face by pure coincidence. “J-Joyce…I…I had a…” She had a sniffle, though that wasn’t what she was hoping to report. “Baby…? What’s wrong?” she mumbled with a hush and pulled Emily’s head in, finally opening her eyes. “Is everything okay? What…what was that? Did you have a nightmare?” If only it was just a simple bad dream. Instead she was living a reality that was wet and gross, and she had to be the one that owned up to it. But Joyce’s hand that always liked to situate itself on her back drifted a little too low, finding the shift from Emily’s diaper to her legs, then paused the moment her hand left dry shores. “Emily…?” she tiredly mumbled, “I…I think you leaked…?” And sniffling, she felt the poor girl nod against her shoulder. As tired as Joyce was, somehow that didn’t seem to deter her protocol. “Okay…shh…okay. Hey, it’s alright?” she shushed and cooed, and Emily fought the tears of shame. “I…I told you I was gonna leak…!” she quietly sobbed, and Joyce swung her legs out and off the bed so she could stand. Right after she dragged Emily over to the safe side and stood her up. “Shh…it’s okay. It happens, alright?” Joyce tried to soothe her as Emily continued to suffer, now feeling the wet clothing against her legs much more clearly now. That brief moment of warmth beyond her diaper was gone now, whisked away by the room temperature and already feeling cool and cold to the touch. “I feel gross…!” Emily continued to cry, and Joyce pulled her in for a hug, managing to multitask at the same time as she flicked off the cloth flap hiding Emily’s confining zipper. She’d certainly ruined it. Amy’s wonderful clothing. How would they explain that? Asking for a new set of pajamas because Emily peed all over her last set? It made her stomach ache from just imagining the embarrassment on top of trying to digest the very real stuff she was going through now. “I bet it feels yucky…” Joyce agreed, but moved Emily along and into the bathroom. She was feeling more awake, but her eyes certainly were not ready for the flashbang. “Okay, close your eyes for me, okay?” Emily did, but it still wasn’t invincible against the bright light assaulting her eyelids. Joyce was squinting as she rested her backside against the countertop, clearly seeing the dark patches that’d crept down Emily’s legs. She certainly had leaked, and not by a very small margin. “I-is it bad?” Emily hiccupped, already starting to turn her head, but Joyce’s clean hand directed her by the cheek to keep on staring into the shower. “No, it’s fine…shh… It’s not that bad, okay? It feels a lot worse than it looks…” Probably not, though. It probably felt just about one-to-one, but Emily didn’t need to know about the aftermath. Now Joyce was slightly concerned about how the bed was going to look… “I-I’m sorry…!” Emily whimpered, despite being the one that warned, and Joyce ignored. “Baby, it’s not your fault…” Joyce squeezed her for a hug, kissing her. “I know you feel yucky, but if you wanna blame anyone, just blame me. Now don’t worry; you’re gonna feel great again in just a few minutes. Let Mommy work her magic, okay?” And while Emily was trembling, she sort of nodded. She felt Joyce’s hand on her back as the zipper revved with a buzz as it traveled down the tracks, parting the fabric once held together and trapping Emily inside. “Were you having any good dreams?” Joyce asked, doing her best to play the distraction game. “I…I dunno…” Was she? Probably not. It was going to sleep, waking up needing to pee, and now this. “Mhm…?” Joyce hummed, listening attentively. Whether Emily had little or a lot to say, every word mattered. “Can I tell you about a dream I was having?” Joyce was careful in rolling down the pajamas, spreading them as far as she could just to hide the wet material from Emily’s skin. “Step out for me?” The lack of an undercarriage support now meant Emily had to endure the weight of her own waste all on her own now. Her diaper felt swollen and heavy. The wings on her waist laid snuggly against her skin as the thick crotch hung weightily between her legs. While she couldn’t see it, the slight discoloration was beginning to bleed through the white spots on her diaper. “Step out?” Joyce asked, and with one shaky foot after the other, Emily naked for the most part was clutching her chest in tears. “I had this really funny dream!” Joyce chuckled, and after enough whispering coos, she stepped Emily over the rim and into the tub. “You remember those cute sea otters we saw at the zoo? Gosh, that feels so long ago…!” “Y-yeah…” Emily sulked, feeling the uncomfy, raw sort of feeling on the back of her thighs. “Well, of all people, Pip was the queen of them! Or…wait, I guess the king,” she paused to deliberate, but ultimately laughing. “You get the point! The lord, or whatever, of them! He had a big crown and everything…” Joyce said as she turned on the faucet. “Now Emily,” she knelt by the edge of the tub, touching Emily’s shoulder where she was squatting. “Do you need to go any more? Did you get it all out?” More pee was probably the last thing she wanted to discuss, but for the sake of keeping things dry, it was a fair and important question. “I…I think…” Was she all done? “It’s okay if you do, you know?” Joyce whispered in her ear, “In fact, if you do, that’s even better. I’m gonna go check on the bed real quick, but if you need to pee, you can do it right here, okay? That way, when I change you in just a minute, you’re gonna feel nice and dry the whole rest of the night!” More diapers? Had Emily not been frowning already, she certainly would’ve been now. “Wh-what if I leak again?” The fear and logic made her almost certain that she would. Joyce loudly patted the tub. “Good thing you’re someplace where you’re supposed to get wet, right? And Emily: don’t be sorry, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong…” and she stood as she scratched her little girl’s scalp. With the flick of the lights, Joyce had thankfully adjusted mostly to being out of the dark, but she was able to see the bed now, particularly Emily’s side. “Shoot…” Joyce whispered, staring down at a clear wet patch on the sheets. It wasn’t the entire bed, obviously, but it was far from a small droplet too… She certainly did leak, and Joyce only had herself to thank for it. Emily was crying because of her own negligence, and rightfully so. “Miss me?” Joyce came back in smiling, holding something in her hand. “Hey, look up at me?” Emily did, and something went in her mouth. “Perfect,” Joyce beamed down at her, smiling to see the pacifier fit so perfectly between her lips. “Would you mind hanging on to that for me? I like it when you have it the most!” and she whispered tenderly again, “Just get it all out of your system, okay? You won’t make a mess. Promise.” Without any words, Emily leaned out, grabbing for Joyce before she could leave. With a sudden surprise, Joyce leaned back in for the hug, rubbing her back. Emily for a few reasons wasn’t much for saying anything right then, but luckily a warm, pure hug said more than enough. “Sweetie, it’s my job to take care of this stuff, you know?” Joyce hummed contently. “You know what you can do for me? Think of a way I can make it up to you for being such a careless mommy, okay?” Then she lifted her head, looking around the bathroom. “It’s a little chilly, huh?” She stood back up, filling the quiet bathroom with a warm hum from the heater hiding in the ceiling. “Be right back. Don’t forget to go pee!” Still reminding Emily to smile with her own, she half-closed the door on the way out. Joyce re-entered the room like a sweeping storm, stripping something off the bed with each pass she made, glancing blows and saving what she could. Pillows and blankets, comforters and the like– Pip too, of course, all came off, leaving nothing but sheets darker and wetter in places they should normally be. With her hands posed on her hips, she frowned at the inanimate objects, somewhat glaring at the offenses which put Emily to tears. “Okay…” Joyce sufficed quickly before gathering the final remains needing more than just some air and whisking them off to the distant washing machine. After her short trip there and back, she snuck back into the bedroom bathroom. “Is it warm in here?” Joyce peered inside, and Emily was rubbing her eyes, sniffling again. “Awh, sweetie…” Joyce started to say, nearly following up, but then she could see that Emily had moved from one end of the tub to the other. In her last place now a small puddle remained. Like a poor puppy cognizant of the mess they’d made, Emily from her arms looked up at Joyce guiltily. Only after Joyce gently plucked the pacifier from her lips, she spoke. “Sorry…” “Emily…” Joyce smiled, and then a gushing spurt made Emily yelp as she nearly fell. “J-Joyce…! Wh-what’re you doing?!” Emily cried as she tried to stumble out of the tub, slowly filling with water. “Ah-ah!” Joyce held her by the shoulders to keep her from stepping out. “Don’t you wanna get clean?” “B-but it’s late…!” Emily tried to reason, yet Joyce with her will alone was enough to keep Emily in place, squatting in just her diaper in the tub. “Yes, and most definitely past your bedtime. but given the circumstances, Mommy’s willing to bend the rules a little.” Joyce grinned, tickling the underside of her chin. “We didn’t have much time today to get you in the shower or have a bath, did we?” And Emily looked into her girlfriend’s eyes, tired in just the moment, but energized and unyielding as always. Beyond the noise of the gushing faucet and humming heater from above, Emily leaned her head on Joyce’s shoulder, too tired to think anymore. “Think you’re up for a bath if I do all the work?” Joyce chuckled, rubbing the back of her head. “Can I help…?” Emily moaned back. She didn’t want a bath. She didn’t want anything. Nothing that made Joyce do anymore than she’d already done. Anything to keep the load she always hogged on her shoulders, and the burdens she always carried. “Hmm…” Joyce’s eyes wandered, still giving the same affections from the start. “No.” “No? Why not?” Emily whined. “You always do so much…! Can’t I just help? I wanna do something for you for once! Let me–!” But she wasn’t allowed to continue when the pacifier went right back to her. “Emily, I appreciate the offer. Really, I do,” Joyce giggled, “but it’s too hard to coordinate with someone too busy sucking on their pacifier? We want to get this quick, don’t we?” Emily tried to talk back, but the immovable seal on her mouth just wouldn’t let her. She tried, but she failed. “You already do so much for me, Emily, and I’m getting a little tired of having to repeat myself,” Joyce grinned. “Guess I should have also mentioned that before we went to bed…” They were both tired and emotions were fickle. It wasn’t a serious moment like they’d been through multiple times before, but it was tender enough. Emily gave her a look telling Joyce she wanted to say something, but her Mommy wasn’t having any of it. “No, Emily!” Joyce quite sternly, but awfully playfully laughed. “You’re getting your bath and you’re going to behave! Now no more buts, or your butt is getting a reminder to behave, got it?” “Mmm…!” Emily mumbled again. “It’s too late– or, too early?” Joyce paused to guess the time, “It’s too soon to be doing this. Now be a good girl and sit in the tub!” she commanded, pressuring Emily’s shoulders until she dropped into the shin-deep water with a noisy splash. Joyce was rolling up her sleeves, but Emily looked downright mortified. “What? What’s wrong? Emily, if this is about you being naked–” she stopped as the pacifier propelled from Emily’s mouth, dropping in Joyce’s lap. “Th-that’s not it…!” Emily whimpered, gritting her teeth, overwhelmed by a weird, gross feeling. Sitting there on her bottom, feeling the water wash through the parts of her sitting on the floor of the tub, she grimaced. “You…you forgot to take my diaper off…!” “H-huh?” Joyce blinked, finally done away with the last of her tiredness the moment she looked down. Half submerged and half exposed was the wet plastic and four tapes, smiling friends and all on Emily’s crotch, pulp and thick with pee and now bath water. “O-oh…!” she frowned, but sputtered. “Y-you…you think it’s funny…?!” Emily whined, watching the corners on Joyce’s mouth rise. “Y…yes…maybe a little…!” Joyce held up a hand to hide her mouth, but it couldn’t block the noise. “O-okay…maybe a lot!” “Joyce…!” Emily groaned and reached for her crotch, but the curse even in these circumstances couldn’t be lifted. “Joyce!” she cried again, deflected by her partner’s hands. “I’ll take it off, I’ll take it off…!” Joyce chuckled, standing her up from the tub, but her underwear had much more weight to it. Her truly swollen diaper now dripped an endless amount of drops into the water, precipitating between her legs like a rainstorm. “Goodness…” Joyce marveled, prying off the tapes, watching to see how it all reacted to gravity with each adhesive. “You really did have to go, didn’t you?” And finally the teasing had reached a point where Emily was restless. Some retaliation was needed, and it was certainly delivered. Standing in place with Joyce still kneeling on the floor, she raised her foot and sent it crashing back down, sending shockwaves throughout the water. But most importantly, a not-so-small splash of water and drops fell on Joyce’s shirt and pants. “Uhm…” Joyce stuttered, looking down at herself. Crossing her arms, Emily turned in place with half her diaper removed and sagging down her leg. “...Hmph!” Joyce carefully grabbed her by the hips and turned her back, stripping the last two tapes and carefully lifting the plump diaper off and away; especially so no more splashes could be made. “I…may have deserved that.” “You did…” Emily pouted, crouching herself in the tub. “...The water’s cold.” “I can tell…” Joyce said as she grabbed a towel for her lap. “Take this back for me?” she asked with the pacifier held out. And reluctantly, Emily took it and popped it in her mouth, quickly before another trick could manifest. Spinning her on her bottom, Joyce started on her hair. If they were going to give her a bath, they may as well give her the works. “Cahn we still use the bed…?” Emily sort of asked, though it was lisped by her pacifier. “Mm…probably not tonight. We’ll be comfy on the couch though,” Joyce started wetting a washcloth, and it wasn’t a joke when she asked, “but you’re more than welcome to use your crib tonight?” A great wave of water was splashed again, only perpendicular to both women like it was a warning shot. Emily’s hand fell back into her lap. While her back was turned, the message had been made. “You’re lucky you’re so cute…” Joyce rubbed her back. “My little Herculean labor…” In the dead of night, a brief bathtime ensued.

Glad ya enjoyed it! And don't mind me, just responding to comments around 5 months later! If I'm not known for writing stories, I think being horrendously bad with timing is my other thing. Hope ya have been good! Happy to share! Should be! But Patreon is always my first go-to. Everything after that usually leads to me having to reformat text and make manual insertions for things that just can't/won't translate. It doesn't always take a lot, but when I'm in a go-go-go sort of flow, I usually opt for public postings later, then lose track of finding the time for it. When I don't have time to do writing in general, that's just an added delay. Sorry! This is also true! However, eventually it'll all come to public boards. I've fallen back into my dark ages on the public side of things again, embarrassingly. Thank you so much! Thank you for relaying this! I am in Japan right now, so time difference plus obligations here and daily life means not a whole lot of free time all the time to get things done. I've been here for almost 2 months now and I think I'm starting to get some time to myself again for creative activities. Either that, or Golden Week just inspired me a tiny bit. I don't have a strict policy for what will and won't be released publicly other than for what I have started in public places first before going to Patreon. My intent is for Sheltered and Illegal Immigrant to be fully available to everyone for free at some point once it's finished, however their public updates are intentionally delayed so I can create more than I release. I do try to release a chapter a month, but life can get in the way or sometimes I may decide to throttle it to match my pace with Patreon more. Thank you for expressing your interest and love for this series! I'm looking forward to sharing more soon!

Maybe James and Katherine need to pull her aside at some point to have a chat about mean old Mr. Consequences... As kind as Katherine can be, sometimes her blinders can really warp her honest intentions. If Dawn somehow got ahold of that sort of literature, I could imagine ten different rules being ratified on the spot just to keep it from happening again... Or who knows? Maybe she can read whatever she wants and this is all a big misunderstanding? Right? (In truth, I may not be the fondest of straight eggs myself... I do require something to go with it...) Yeah, Katherine and Dawn both continue to be stubborn, albeit one of them less maliciously as well as with societal backing... I'm sure common ground exists for them, they'll just need to dig pretty deep to find it. I can definitely imagine some prejudice charged in those rules... I'm hoping they'll figure something out... Then again, it may not be something Dawn has to adapt to so much since she's supposed to be going home soon, after all! Thanks for reading and commenting! (Pun sort of intended) It's the little things that'll keep the ship afloat, I'd imagine. There's too many big obstacles I think that are completely or next-to totally non-negotiable at this point that what few things she can control are going to become those new big deals to her. Coincidentally, I can imagine the Amazons in charge of her being more lenient with the things that don't matter as much in the bigger picture. No sleepers at bedtime? Fine. No diapers? Why are you being so silly?

Thank you so much! I think there's always a thousand different ways I can improve in delivery and dialogue, but I'm glad to know it's being enjoyed. I can definitely see how that might be a concern, though as an advocate for Joyce I wouldn't say she's trying to totally force Emily into this thing with Amy. Deciding for her that she was going to make the call in the first place was really just to get something going for her, I'd say. They both know Emily's upset about the current status quo, being she's hanging around at the house most of the time. Emily wants work, and I'd say Joyce is somewhere in a space that's indifferent to what she does, as long as Emily's happy. What they both agree on is having some kind of change and Joyce is at least trying to force Emily's foot in the door so she can have the opportunity to consider it. Along those lines, I'd say. With her job hunt in flux, this is just Joyce putting another opportunity on her plate. Thank you for enjoying it! Hmm, that is a good question. What is in the cards for Sheila? Isabelle is a very much wait and see at the moment, but I'm sure there has been hints for possibly just how she leans on things. Either or, there should be a little more insight into her soon enough. Thank you! Thank you for catching that! My spellcheck won't always immediately catch everything I throw at it, so if it's not immediately noticed/updated with a fancy red underline, it's something that can sometimes propagate. Didn't necessarily know I was misspelling in different ways across my stories, but thanks for the fun fact!

Hmm, I imagine Katherine would definitely want to share some of the classics with Dawn! Off the top of my head, I think I have zero clue on how to write a clever DD's Little storybook... Yepp, Katherine's a favorite of mine, so I hope to nail down her nuances or at least communicate the kind of character I want to show! James at this point I'd say is a little of a toss up. He might be feeling some kind of attachment, sure, but without some more concrete examples, I can see it totally just as him acting in Katherine's, his wife's, interest. Never know with that pesky LPS... It's a wait and see! After all, who knows if Dawn will even be in this dimension long enough for that to happen? It's a wait and find out! Early Christmas, enjoy the double release! 16 - Sun Set & Sun Rise “Okay, Dawn, time to go upstairs,” Katherine made herself known by becoming the physical barrier between Dawn and the cartoon. “Sorry?” Snapping out of her tv-mode, Dawn blinked as she looked up at her. “What are you sorry for? It’s bedtime, hon. Let’s get you upstairs and changed.” Katherine said once again, though this time reaching for a remote on the coffee table, killing the motion picture as a final measure. A package deal, it was. Go to bed, get the, not her, diaper changed. One was good, one wasn’t preferable. Dawn drew out her tone, as if to make it clear just how much they were not on the same page, maybe even the same bookshelf. “Yes…I want to be changed, but I’m not going to bed just yet.” Whether her words held weight or not, Katherine picked her up regardless with an exasperated sigh. “It’s been a long day for you, hasn’t it? I know it’s been for me!” “In that case maybe you should go to bed early?” While it could have been delivered as witty or an attempt to be funny, her voice didn’t have the humor nor the amusement. “I definitely think I will in a bit.” Katherine, oh-so clever with her words, appended the small loophole to her words. In a bit. Not now. Later. At a time that wasn’t permissible for Littles. They stopped short of the stairs right by the entrance to the kitchen. “Say goodnight to James, okay?” “But I’m not going to bed yet.” Nothing against James, in this particular moment, ignoring the physical abuse that he had dished out, but Dawn was making a point of not being on board with Katherine. “Goodnight, Dawn!” James waved for just a moment over the noise of a gushing faucet whilst he scrubbed. And as if Dawn could be spoken for, Katherine playfully cooed right back, “Goodnight, James!” And on they went. To the stairs. “What time is it, even?” Dawn complained, looking out the window on the stairs. It was dark and the night sky was out, but she was hardly feeling tired yet. Back at the hotel she definitely stayed up later than this. “Time for bed.” And an important question unanswered only begets a pissy attitude. “You know what I mean.” “It’s late,” Katherine repeated only with a different dress of words, signifying no numbers whatsoever. “We talked about this, remember? How the days here are a lot longer than what you’re used to?” “Yeah and I’ve already been here for like a week. I got used to it.” They entered the room she was staying in, which had an uncanny resemblance to, but was most certainly not, a nursery. By Dawn’s opinion, at least. “You know, I bet you’re really tired and your body just hasn’t noticed it yet?” Suddenly, Dawn was on her back, but she wasn’t in the crib. She was on the… “Wait, no, stop,” Dawn immediately started rising from her seat. “Let me do it.” Katherine held her hands back right as they were about to reach, like folded arms from a T-rex. “Let you do it?” “Yes! You know what I mean! I can…change myself! Just…just take the tapes off for me!” “Dawn, that’s not how it works. Don’t be silly. You know it has to be me, James, or someone that we trust that handles your diaper changes.” Raising her voice with agitation, Dawn fired back, “And I told you that I trust myself!” Katherine with a tinge of sternness and a firm press on Dawn’s shoulders back onto the pad, said, “That’s enough. I know you’re upset and there’s a lot about this you’re uncomfortable with, but if LPS ever saw that we were mistreating you…” “I’d what, be taken away?” Not back to Earth, most likely. “There’s no LPS here, so who cares if I change my own underwear like I should be able to?” Then, with heavy sarcasm just to mock Katherine for trying to convince her with fault logic she added, “Unless they put bugs in the house, or something?” Then came a move Dawn didn’t expect. Not in the way of words this time. A snug strap was suddenly pulled over her chest and arms as it sounded like velcro bonding with another end. “H-hey! What the hell?” Dawn fidgeted but to no avail. “Katherine? What the fuck?!” “Dawn, please, language?” Katherine reprimanded, but it didn’t stop her hands. The diaper tapes were torn by Amazon hands while Dawn’s smaller ones feebly tried to grab at nothing but air, forced so closely to her sides. “So what? You lose the argument so you just take advantage of me physically? Rich.” Dawn scoffed, no less pissed than before. The passive pissiness pivoted to direct rejection the moment Dawn felt her ankles be bundled into Katherine’s grip. “Wait! Stop!“ Her very unfortunate moment with James in the car was embarrassing, humiliating, but this time it had five more degrees of shame to go with it. There was no commonplace car, but instead a mock-nursery with a changing table to boot. “That’s fucking cold!” And a cold wet wipe this time, too. Katherine could only make tired pleas as her hands worked through the motions. “Dawn, please…” Dawn could only attempt to thrash as she was strapped to the table and shout obscenities that changed nothing in the short term for her. No amount of anything she did could accomplish anything, hence why her anger with a beet red face stayed pent up by the time Katherine was done pressing the tapes of a new, horrid and crinkly diaper on her hips. This one was certainly different and in no way a choice of Dawn’s. It was simple, yet no less damning. White, yet decorated with more puppies, as far as Dawn could tell, yet quite unfortunately with a tinge bit more of oppressiveness between the legs, or maybe the same, Dawn wasn’t quite the expert, courtesy of Amazon-engineered diaper bulk. “Is it comfy?” “It’s too thick and noisy!” Katherine finally undid the strap over Dawn’s chest before lifting her off the table. “It’s not going to make any noise while you’re asleep.” It hadn’t gone unnoticed by Dawn, Katherine’s lack of acknowledgement for the first complaint. Dawn only rolled her eyes and doubled down. “Yeah, too bad I’m not going to sleep, so it is a problem.” “You’re going to bed, Dawn.” There. Just like that, she’d done it. Finally no more gentle pushes or willfully ignoring protests. Katherine acknowledged and promptly responded. “It’s getting late and I think some quiet time would be good.” Dawn did fidget and squirm, but it would have saved space on this page not to make mention of it at all given the lack of effect her efforts had. Down, down, down she went. “Down we go…” Katherine cooed as she deposited Dawn into the crib, or as Dawn saw it, confined to her cage. Four walls, its two broad sides being all wooden bars. “Oh! That’s right,” Katherine with a puff of air in her cheek looked for her forgotten thought. “Did you want some PJs for bed?” Dawn huffed as she stood on the mattress, feeling her feet sink slightly into the dense, soft material. “No. I’m not going to bed!” And immediately she grabbed onto the bars, bringing her bare feet against them as she tried to climb. If she needed any more physical reminders to put this world into perspective, surely it was crib bars going well above her head. It wasn’t that the bars were lubed or lathered in oil, but that they seemed to defy the laws of physics in having achieved near complete lack of friction. For Dawn, an English major, she hardly touched math and sciences, but it didn’t take the knowledge of a physicist to take issue with her hands and feet slipping down the bars immediately as she tried to hold onto them. Katherine stayed by the crib and watched with a disapproving look. “Dawn, your crib is not for climbing.” “TAKE. ME. OUT!” Dawn raged with her hands on the bars, doing her utmost to shake and rock the bed, but all that did was shake herself. Katherine only watched with a concerned look, one hand on the railing of the crib. “Dawn…I think you need some sleep, sweetheart… I promise you’ll feel a lot better in the morning?” “Just put the side down or something, at least! I don’t sleep in cribs! Ask James! He saw my hotel room! It was a normal fucking bed!” “Why don’t you like your crib?” Did Katherine somehow cease to empathize yet again? “It’s not my crib! Now get me out!” “I can’t do that, honey…not until tomorrow when it’s bright and sunny.” Finally deciding to play bullshit linguistics herself, Dawn fired right back, “Can’t or won’t?” “...Won’t.” She answered back simply. “Won’t?” Dawn scoffed with a sickened laugh. “Just like you won’t take me home? How you won’t let me wear panties? Won’t let me eat what I want, won’t let me go where I please?” “No, Dawn. Won’t because you need your sleep, and because of everything that’s happened today. All day you’ve been misbehaving. Naughty words, arguing, being rude to other grown-ups, running outside on your own?” And maybe it was a phantom pain, but some sensation on her bum still burned regardless. “Y-you said that we settled all that, though!” “Yes, we did, which is why you aren’t in trouble, Dawn, but it’s why we’re going to do better in keeping you safe, and that involves rules. We have rules to keep you safe and not get in trouble with LPS…” “By keeping me locked up in a cage?!” “By keeping a tired girl from staying up too late.” Katherine crouched on her knees, coming to eye-level with Dawn standing in the crib. “It might feel a little scary being in a new room and in a new bed, but James and I are gonna be downstairs and up here, okay? I’ll come check on you in a little bit, but I want you to start trying to get some sleep.” Maybe she was waiting for Dawn to say something, but when she didn’t, Katherine asked, “Can I tuck you in?” That was enough to trigger a response. “No, you can’t, and I’m not sleeping.” Dawn stated with her unwavering will. After a small sigh, back in a disappointed voice Katherine said, “Then I’ll see you in a little bit.” She rose from her slouch, taking her hands off her knees as she walked over to the door. Unfortunately, her poker face was as fickle as her footing on the plush mattress, as Dawn made a noise of distress, quickly realizing that without an Amazon to negotiate with, all was lost. Watching the Amazon leave and being so powerless to chase as she shook herself against the bars. “Katherine! Wait! Let me out! I’ll sleep on the floor, fine! Just don’t make me sleep in a fucking crib!” Christ, swearing, that apparently played a factor into all of this. It wasn’t a time for pride, but maybe a tinge of humility. “I-I’m sorry! Okay? I’m sorry! Just let me out of this stupid crib! I’ll sleep! Sure! I’m tired! Just don’t lock me in this thing!” Maybe something she said held some weight. Katherine paused by the doorframe with her hand on the door. “I-I’m sorry!” Dawn repeated again with desperation. Words were as meaningless as you made them in your mind, so what was an apology to Dawn if she didn’t fully mean it? But the Amazon stood by the door, smiled, and said, “Tomorrow’s a new day, Dawn, so let’s all be on our best behavior, okay?” “Fine! Yes! So take me out of this crib!” Dawn was doing her best, but begging was starting to become an apt descriptor of how she was speaking. And yet the desperation was somehow ignored or missed, because Katherine continued in a soft, jovial voice, “Goodnight…!” as the door came to a near full close, but never quite reaching completion. A sliver of light peered through, but that was that. Katherine was gone, and Dawn was confined. In a crib. In a nursery. Her nursery. “KATHERINE!” Dawn shouted, trying to shake the bars but only folding on her arms and pressing against them. “Let me out! LET ME OUT!” It was dark, but not pitch black. Moonlight came through the window, though it was dampened by the translucent curtains along the top. Helplessness only seemed to be redefining itself in more and more confining ways. Trapped in another world. Trapped in a house for giants. Trapped in her own underwear, and now trapped in a crib. She shouted, shook, and screamed, but no one came. No one ever did. Were they ignoring her, or was she not being loud enough? It made her upset. Angry. Who were they to decide when she goes to sleep? “You…YOU CAN’T JUST IGNORE ME!” She screamed into the void for minutes on end, but the words hardly matched her beliefs. They could ignore her. They probably were ignoring her. Just like she had ignored them. Just like she had ignored Katherine all day until it was a moment of convenience or necessity. How was any of this keeping her safe? Emotionally starved, neglected, belittled, confined and caged? Why couldn’t that LPS or whatever it was come any sooner? See just how horrible of a situation this was and rescue her? And with a much more somber, dried and exhausted voice, she whimpered, “Please…” Standing on her knees, partially sunk into the tempurpedic mattress while her hands struggled to hold onto the slippery bars, leaning her forehead against her cell. In darkness and in silence it was only reality and her own thoughts that came as comfort. Yet comfort only came on good days, and this wasn’t one of them. All she had was reality, and it was crippling. It was the same thoughts she’d been having at every point since yesterday and today. This time, right now, in a different life, a better one, she’d be getting out from a long post-vacation shower, calling her boyfriend, kicking back and decompressing. Instead, all she had was a diaper compressing her nether regions. When would people notice that she was gone? Missing? A week? A month? Her stomach felt queasy just from the thought of being here for that long. Absolutely not. Never…right? If she tried, maybe she could just faintly hear noise from downstairs. The tv? James and Katherine? Solitude could somehow make curiosity fester and unbearable. What overshadowed it all though was the ongoing war cry of what sounded like crickets from beyond the window. Muffled by the wall of the house, but audible nonetheless. She listened and thought. Falling in and out of tearful fits as a sense of pride kept her from falling on her back or stomach, simply leaning her head against the bars. But even Dawn couldn’t become a statue, which is why the occasional shift or slightest move sent shockwaves throughout the room as the god of thunder himself crackled with might. And yet, there was no god to be seen, and instead the unbearably noisy diaper on Dawn’s hips. But it was a package deal, as the juice she’d been forced into drinking was on a new wave of catching up to her bladder. “Katherine…!” Dawn yelled once again with a crumbling voice, knowing on some level of what the outcome was certain to be. She tried pressing her hand against her amply padded crotch to somehow “hold it in”, no pun intended, yet the padding felt tantamount to chastity. Had only her captors gotten the memo that there wasn’t a treasure left to protect… Dawn groaned as she fidgeted in place, “Fucking fuck!” Without an inkling of sleep passing through her mind and her eyelids feeling weightless and taught, she knew it was to be a long and dreadful night, and anything but quiet. “Shh…I put Dawn down a couple hours ago, but just in case we should–” The sound of another voice was the adrenaline that shocked her system. “Katherine?!” Dawn perked up immediately. Somewhat, having committed herself to her upright position just to prevent the absolute worst case scenario: actually falling asleep. There was a moment of pause coming from the hallway, or in other words no response to Dawn’s call from the crib. Just a second later however and the door quietly crept open. The hallway light had been turned off and into the darkened room entered Katherine, James, and Waver. Need it be mentioned that the sight of the four-legged friend still up and about slighted her even more. Apparently even the pets got to stay up later than her. “Dawn…” Katherine looked and sounded with disapproval, all hushed and calm, however, “what are you still doing up?” “Looks like someone’s been trying real hard to stay awake?” James chimed in with a grin, but Dawn wasn’t seeing the humor with her tired glare. “I told you I wasn’t t…tired.” She tried to put some edge on her tone but interrupted her own attempt halfway with a mouth glued shut just to keep down a trembling yawn. “You look awfully tired to me, sweetheart.” Katherine said simply, James let his wife talk, and Waver did whatever the hell he wanted, which was a freedom far from Dawn’s grasp. Waver trotted up to the front of the crib, slipping his nose between the bars, sniffing Dawn unashamedly. Trying to ignore the dog, Dawn said back, “I wasn’t when you put me in here! You’re not being fair and you know it!” “And I know how cranky someone can be if they don’t sleep enough,” James suddenly took to the stage. “Dawn, we’re all going to bed now. Sound fair?” “No.” By the look on his face, was her take really that surprising? “Why not?” “Because I’m in a crib. I did not want a crib and I still don’t. Just take the sides off! Let me at least think it’s a normal bed!” “It is a normal bed, Dawn,” Katherine with her own sense of tiredness, but maybe emotional rather than biological, added soothingly. “Honey, what if you rolled out of bed? You could get hurt.” “I don’t roll in my sleep! I don’t use diapers! I don’t have a bedtime! Please! When are you going to get any of that?!” “It’s bedtime for real, Dawn,” James said, so tactfully dismissing all her complaints, “get some sleep now.” “Do you want someone to stay with you until you fall asleep?” Katherine offered. “No! I…” Dawn between choking down yawns was caught in a difficult place. They’d wronged her in a new way, and she’d technically defied and persevered, even if it meant exhausting herself for no real benefit other than just to see them on their way upstairs. She complained, they dismissed, but she’d technically won on some front. Exhausting herself just to defy two Amazons… Dawn pushed off the bars, falling on her cushioned backside into the cushioned mattress. “I don’t care anymore.” “Get some sleep,” Katherine said once more, only with an affectionate hand on Dawn’s head. “Lay down, I’ll tuck you in.” Dawn did lay down, but swiped the blanket for herself, draping it atop before Katherine could complete what she set out to do. “I’m fine,” Dawn muttered, head against the pillow, facing away and consequently the wall on the other side of the bars. Katherine didn’t have much to say other than, “Goodnight, Dawn…” James too. “Night, Dawn.” Dawn didn’t answer, but she could hear them move across the carpet to leave. “Come on, Waver! Not tonight.” Katherine did the signature pat on her thigh. And once more she never heard the door close. After enough time she peered over her shoulder, finding that they had gone but the door still remained 90% closed and 10% open. Not like she could physically get out of bed and change that though. So she laid there instead, unfortunately noticing just how soft the mattress was. How light and comfy the blanket felt, even on a warmer night… The pillow was plush and cushiony in its own way, too. The hotel bed wasn’t soft like this, and the sheets weren’t all that amazing either. The pillow was stiff and flimsy. Far worse by comparison. But that’s how hotels were. There wasn’t anything special about them, hence the quality. Hence why…this felt inarguably much better. But not the crib. The bed frame was an entirely different matter that frankly Dawn was far too tired to entertain. Too tired to fight. Too tired to uphold her resistance, stowing it away for the morning to come. The next morning was an early and uncomfortable one. In her half-asleep slump Dawn could barely tell what the blaring noise was that filled her ears. Still in her own swampy mind of drifting, sleepy thought, it took her a moment to even register the noise at all. In and out, here and there, only when she moved…? Peering underneath the blanket, enough early morning sunlight could show the pattern of puppies prancing on her underwear. Dry underwear, at that, but also in the midst of a crisis. She shuffled her legs uncomfortably with a fullness that’d had all night to store up. Her bladder, of course. She whimpered a tired groan for just about every reason under the sun. Tired and sleepy, who ever wanted to get up and use the bathroom? Then again, how could she use the bathroom if she lacked the strength to take off her diaper? What’s more, why ponder the thought when no Amazon was going to let her do her business anywhere other than in her own pants? And lastly, though sorely feeling like the most important, yet treated as the most insignificant by others, her pride. Certainly she was a fool for thinking so, but as little as others thought of it, her pride wouldn’t let her take every embarrassment lying down. “What time even is it…?” Dawn groaned, lazily propping herself up with her hands. She must have been stuck in the past because her only tool to tell the time was the sunlight itself. No clocks, no phone, no nothing. Why would you put a clock in a nursery? What baby needs to tell the time? “Hello…?” Dawn communicated the only way she knew how in her cell, shouting out to the partly open doorway. “Is anybody awake?!” No response. Great, she was up before everyone else. Or so she thought. Instead of footsteps down the hall she heard the telltale jingle of dog tags trotting closer and closer, until a soft nudge of the head knocked the door to swing open a bit, just so a furry friend could peer through. “Why is it always you…?” she groaned, trying to squeeze her legs together more and more as time went on, yet she was quickly reaching a hard limit with the padding stored between them. Waver came over to the crib to visit the prisoner, tilting his head curiously as Dawn sat there in annoyed misery, unsure of what to do. Keep shouting? The dog was close enough for Dawn to reach through the bars, running her hand through the fur atop his head. “Can’t you go wake up your owners, or something?” Better yet, unlock the crib himself. Maybe it was somewhere out of place, because no matter where she looked from her limited space, no sign of any locking mechanism was evident. Yet another “Little-proofed” invention, as the twistedly sadistic liked to describe it. Maybe it was some kind of buzz word for Amazon advertising in this universe… “Get. Katherine.” Dawn recited both words, broken up by a commanding pat on Waver’s head each time. Her animal whispering abilities were failing her though, as all Waver did was a few circles in place before parking himself on the carpet in front of the crib, now too low for Dawn to reach. “Some help you are…” And back to square one, minus a bit of a more open doorway, which would hopefully get her somewhere. “Hello?! Is anybody actually awake?!” Dawn was back on her feet, calling once more. Anxiously she bounced ever so slightly, far too fidgety and full to not keep still. “No! Not you!” Dawn barked immediately as Waver turned his head and started to stand. “KATHERINE! JAMES! I NEED TO PEE! WAKE UP ALREADY!” And on and on she went. “KATHERINE! JAMES! WAKE UP!” “WAKE UP!” “WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE U–” “I’m up, I’m up…!” Katherine rushed in with a tired look, only physically drained this time, or just coming off of a well-needed rest. She was wearing a simple pajama set, shirt and drawstring pants and her hair a bit out of place from just being in bed, but her Amazon genetics didn’t betray her looks, even just after waking up. “What’s wrong, honey?” Dawn had half a mind to criticize her tardiness, but instead got to the point. “I need to pee. Now.” Katherine rubbed her eye with a confused look, still lagging behind. “You…what? You need to go potty?” “Pee. Yes! I can’t take off this stupid diaper and I can’t get out of this crib by myself! How does this even unlock, anyway?” “Dawn…that’s what your diaper is for…please. Enough talk about using the potty, okay? We’ll change you once you need it.” “I need it now! Change me into something that isn’t a diaper!” “Dawn, honey, it’s fi– very early in the morning. James and I don’t usually get up for another couple hours, and I know you barely got any sleep last night. Why don’t we try sleeping for a bit more?” “No. Get me out of this crib already. You can go back to bed, but I can’t be stuck in this thing for another two hours!” Stomping her foot was a little instinctual nudge in the back of her head, but stomping a plush mattress didn’t exactly command compliance. “...Okay, you win. Just this once though,” Katherine relinquished as she came over. “--Wait, Waver? When did you get in here?” “He actually listened…” Dawn explained with a frown, holding out her arms. “Did you have a bad dream? Is that why you couldn’t sleep?” Now in her arms, Katherine went as far as to press her forehead against Dawn’s for a moment. “No fever either…” “Can you sleep if you have a full bladder?” Please, let it be read as rhetorical. “No, probably not,” Katherine answered quite simply. “Yeah, well neither can I. See the problem?” “You’re wearing a diaper, sweetie.” “And I don’t wear diapers, so don’t talk like they’re a solution!” “They are. You wear diapers, Dawn. I bet they feel nice and comfy?” “I’m done talking about this. You obviously don’t get it.” Katherine sighed with a small frown, but stayed upbeat as they went downstairs. “How about we find you some cartoons before I work on breakfast?” “No. I don’t want to watch any. Just put me down and let me move.” “No-no-no,” Katherine mimicked with a silly voice, “I thought today was going to be different, Dawn?” “Yeah, I hope so too,” Dawn grimaced, finding that her further denial of bathroom privileges was signaling that history was doomed to repeat itself. And on the cartoons went anyway. The only thing different so far was that Katherine seemed to stop caring about what Dawn did or did not want to do. Typical. Waver came down to rest in his dog bed, and the moment Dawn was on her feet she was out of the living room and away from the tv, animated images and noises. And as embarrassing as it was to admit, Dawn only just remembered something she felt an earlier version of herself would have picked up on. “Wait, I need pants,” she tugged on Katherine’s pant leg in the kitchen. “Hm? Later, honey. Once we get you dressed after breakfast.” Not now. Great. “When’s breakfast, then?” “Once I’m done making it,” Katherine grinned down at her, meeting Dawn’s aggravation with playful love. Dawn pivoted on her heel and stormed out of the kitchen, just about to bank a right back to the stairs. “Ah-ah!” Katherine’s doting voice froze her in place. “Where are you going?” “Upstairs. Waking James up.” Maybe she could somehow convince him. Leverage the fact that he physically hit her to make him take her diaper off? “Let’s let James sleep in for a bit. We’ll wake him up in a bit.” “Then I’m going back up to my room.” “I want you where I can see you,” Katherine smiled affectionately, but Dawn only took it as pure absurdity. More trust issues, she figured. “Katherine, I can just reach doorknobs; what makes you think I can somehow escape from the second story?” “I know that you aren’t going on any little adventures, but I know that you can get into mischief, Dawn. Stay put. Go watch some cartoons. And here,” she produced a lidded cup of white substance. “Take your sippy cup, it’s milk.” “I’m not thirsty, and it’s not my sippy cup.” Maybe she was thirsty, but liquids certainly felt like a no-go if it meant eternally peeing herself. “You will be later. Come on, now. No more backtalk.” It was suddenly a trigger word that Dawn never knew she even had. “Wh-what?! It’s not backtalk! I’m just telling you how it is!” “Dawn, please?” Katherine asked yet again with that signature tone, a sign of dwindling patience, and Dawn knew it was either to accept or go down a path that she wouldn’t think quite highly of. “Fine!” she swiped the sippy cup into her hands. “But I’m not drinking any of it!” It was more than enough for Katherine, though, standing back in front of the counter with a “Thank you~” for Dawn who was already halfway into the living room. A different show from the ones before was on this morning, but it had the same traits and patterns, more or less. Eye catching visuals, slapstick humor and somehow a plot and dialogue with just enough substance to slightly keep a viewer that was actually potty trained at least occupied, if not barely entertained. But it certainly did nothing for the mind too busy trying to solve the dilemma of being trapped in a diaper, yet holding one’s bladder for a toilet that would never come. Dropping the sippy cup on the floor beside her, she desperately tried to tug on the tapes, disillusioning herself that maybe yesterday was a sad and sorry fluke. “If only these stupid fucking things…!” And yet, either her luck was far worse than she had thought going two for two, or this truly was how diapers in this dimension worked. Tiredly she sighed with frustration, kicking her legs out. “Is everything alright in there?” a watchful voice called from the kitchen, insinuating that they knew misbehavior was afoot, only that they were giving her the chance to stop it. “NO! IT’S NOT! TAKE OFF MY DIAPER!” Dawn shouted right back. “Inside voice, please!” said the brick wall, in Dawn’s mind, at least. “Fucking…fuck!” Dawn continued to curse with a quiet voice, awkwardly pacing in front of the tv. It wasn’t her fault. She couldn’t betray her pride if she didn’t have a choice. If she was being forced.. And so with a sinking feeling in her stomach, Dawn squatted and pushed, having to pant and muffle her short gasps for air from forgetting to breathe, as she finally let out one last noise the moment she could feel the gross release. Her face felt hot the moment her diaper started to feel warm. Twice now. Three times? Multiple times she’d gone in a diaper, all against her will. All against everything that she stood for. Her head panned over to the doorway into the kitchen. She could hear Katherine working away on breakfast, and she had zero intentions of paying her a visit. She hardly wanted to reappear with a wet diaper, asking for a change. The very act of using a diaper felt too validating for Katherine and her ignorant mind, as much as it was swinging the pendulum her way far too greatly. Dawn parked herself on her bottom, then quickly stood the moment she felt the wet-to-moist-to-warm padding press against her skin more than it needed to be. Just to disillusion herself into thinking it all wasn’t as bad as it really was, Dawn awkwardly resigned herself to sitting on her knees instead. And with great disdain she glared at the sippy cup laying on the floor; the substance inside of it being the very reason for why she was quite literally in her own mess. Thankfully, time did move forward, and maybe Dawn could consider herself lucky for somehow losing track of time from the endless slur of colorful images on screen when Katherine slightly surprised her from behind. “Dawn? Honey?” “Wh-what?” Dawn looked up and over her shoulder. “I asked if you were ready for breakfast,” she chuckled. She was already reaching past Dawn for the sippy cup that had remained untouched on the floor. Without so much as asking, Katherine unannounced picked up Dawn with her other arm next, standing back up. “I think somebody was enjoying themselves, huh?” “What? No,” Dawn lightly scoffed, “it’s not like there was anything else to do.” Too small to cook. Too small to run away. Too small to disobey. Too small for anything. “Mmm…I’m sorry, sweetie. Maybe there’s a chance we can go to the toy store today and find something you’d like? Everyone’s gotta have toys?” They entered the kitchen with Dawn on Katherine’s hip, and the first thing she could smell was bacon. “What I need is to get home…” Dawn kept her spirits low, but admittedly a good-smelling breakfast was still a buffer keeping her from absolute zero. The least desirable thing to be seen were the eggs, but that was easy enough to ignore when the rest of the spread was bacon, fresh fruit, slices of toast, and pancakes. “You made all this…?” Dawn asked in surprise, trying to choke herself out of sounding even remotely impressed. “Mhm!” Katherine nodded affirmatively as she deposited Dawn into her special chair, one which she could not leave on her own. “James and I really like cooking, and breakfast is the most important meal of the day! Let’s see what we can put together for you…” “I’ll just have pancakes and bacon,” Dawn decided for herself. It would have been nice to reach everything herself, but it was getting old having to mention her lack of size for everything that she could not do. And as requested, pancakes and bacon it was. Little-sized portions which still seemed like a tad bit much for the girl, but manageable. What wasn’t though was what came in tandem with her two picks, which were a few cubes of fruit and a portion of egg. Gross. The fruit was passable, but the other was not. “That’s fine, I don’t want any eggs.” “I know, Dawn, but eggs are really good for you, you know?” “And so is letting me use the toilet.” Even in the early hours of the morning her wit was apparently still about her. And with more non consensual touching, Katherine with a light squeeze on her shoulder said, “Good girls aren’t picky. I’m gonna go wake James up, okay?” After Katherine excused herself, Dawn looked down at the entire plate in dismay now with the one bad yolky apple to spoil the bunch. The egg like the fruit and pancakes had been sectioned and squared for Dawn’s hands. And in looking at the butter, syrup, grease and liquid, the lack of silverware was finally catching up to her. “G-goohd morning…!” A yawn echoed from the pits of James’ mouth as he entered the kitchen with his wife, sporting a light set of bedhead. “Sleep well, Dawn?” he asked as he shuffled over to the coffee maker on the counter, still looking half asleep and just going through the motions. “No.” Admittedly, she somewhat did. But also she didn’t, courtesy of a full bladder. “I’m sorry…” he didn’t pick up where he left off until shaking a bit more sleep out of himself, “Was the crib not soft enough? Did you want a different pillow or blanket?” “Oh! I’m Sorry!” Katherine chimed in right beside her husband, “I didn’t even ask that, Dawn.Were they comfy? We can get–” “It’s fine,” she grumbled, still staring down the disappointment on her plate. “Can I have a fork now, please?” The hum and buzz of a counter appliance was making her thirsty as well. “I’ll have some coffee too.” “You have your milk, honey,” Katherine remarked and Dawn stared down the untouched sippy cup with pure annoyance. “Then unscrew the top. I’m in the kitchen, right?” A lack of caffeine definitely made her pissy, and she was pretty sure that knowing she wasn’t going to get any made her doubly so. “Yes,” Katherine picked up the children’s cup, then set it back down, lid undone this time, “you are. No spills, remember?” Because she was just itching to do that the first chance she got… “Yeah, I know.” Dawn turned her head in the chair to either spot James or Katherine out. “And what about a fork? I don’t have any silverware.” James and Katherine both shared silent looks with each other, speaking with some kind of telepathy either exclusive to Amazons or intimate lovers. Either way, Dawn had no clue. “That’s okay, honey, you can just use your hands and we’ll make sure you’re squeaky clean after, alright?” “Come again?” Katherine made a quirky grin, like she was interpreting Dawn’s quip as some sort of joke comprised of Little humor. “Katherine, I’m not using my hands. I want a fork.” “Grown-up silverware is really big, Dawn…I think you’d have a hard time using them.” “That’s fine, I’ll manage. And if you’re making me eat that stupid slimy egg, I’m not touching it with my bare hands!” “Dawn, reel it back in,” James warned as he came around to his seat, steaming cup of joe in hand. The smell alone was like second-hand smoking for the girl, except without any of the short-term benefits. As much as she hated him, it didn’t change her new survival instinct that meant listening at least somewhat. Clearing her throat and trying to temper her emotions, she tried a bit more politely, “I…I’m sorry; all I’m saying is that I do not think it is very fair that I can’t use a fork to eat my breakfast…” So polite she annunciated every single word. Even at its worst and even forced, the smallest amount of effort was worthy of praise, Katherine beaming at her minor correction. “Thank you for being so polite! I’m sorry, Dawn; James and I wouldn’t be very good…guardians if we let you use that kind of stuff? Amazon forks and knives are big and sharp. I promise it’s okay to use your hands?” She didn’t need the assurance that she could dirty herself. After all, she was already being encouraged to pee and poop in her pants. Rather, a huge part of what she was hearing was more societal checks and balances butting their way into the domestic sphere. “Really? LPS? Would they take me away for using a fork?” Katherine had become uncomfortably quiet, looking troubled. “Dawn,” James cut in again, “that’s enough. Be a good girl and eat your breakfast.” “Don’t call me a ‘good girl’,” Dawn finally bit back. But finally she huffed, looking back down at her plate. “Fine. I’ll eat with my hands.” “If you want I can feed you?” Katherine offered, to which Dawn promptly declined by way of drenching her hand in syrup. As delicate and with grace as she tried to act, a bite-sized square of pancake already moist from butter, syrup and chocolate chips made keeping clean an impossible task. She slipped it into her mouth, and unfortunately she was elated. She did her best to choke down her reaction, but it was good. Shockingly so. Maybe it was because of how poorly she had abused her tastebuds the other night that this was tasting like caviar, but good was good. The sweetness was just right and it was fluffy with the perfect amount of bounce and elasticity with every chew! It was so good in fact that Dawn was tranced long enough to go for a second bite, trying to be careful all over again, only to remember that her hand was already covered in syrup. “Ooou, I think somebody likes it!” Katherine excitedly giggled, watching from her seat like it was daytime entertainment. Then she quipped a look at James, “I wish you’d get those kinds of looks when I cook, you know?” “What?” he playfully scoffed back, “I do all the time!” Maybe it was something about the produce of this world, but the fruit was unexpectedly outstanding as well. The strawberries looked redder and fuller, tasted sweeter and juicier and the melon was rich and flavorful. Where was all this food last night? Was that entire pizza situation just a trick? Did they spike her food for some unknown reason? An Amazon’s hand backing her sippy cup slid it closer to her plate. “Don’t forget about your milk, hon,” Katherine reminded with a smile before sipping out of her mug. It smelled like coffee as well. Just as she started to wipe her mouth with her hand it was instant regret once she felt the excess syrup kiss the corner of her mouth. Pulling it back down she tried to lick the corner of her mouth before mumbling back, “I know…” And yet, now that the idea was suggested to her it hardly felt like something of her own accord anymore. Drinking her juice wasn’t her decision anymore. It was Katherine’s. “I need a napkin,” Dawn looked around her plate with not even that to be seen. Only then did she start to think of it as by design. Another roundabout sense of reasoning just to make her act more dependent than she really was. “It’s okay if your hands get sticky, Dawn, we’ll wash you up after,” Katherine spoke as she ate, having the audacity to use a fork and knife herself. More ‘sit down and shut up logic’, Dawn decided it as and begrudgingly picked up the sippy cup, already feeling the tips of her fingers merging against the plastic handles like glue. Setting it down was awkward as she tried to separate her hands from the cup. She was almost afraid to ask, correction, she was, but she still asked anyway. “What are we doing today?” “It’s a weekday, so we work!” James said quite simply. “I know that, but what are we doing about my situation? About getting me home?” They put her off once already and that had stuck here for an indefinite period of time. That didn’t mean she was going to let the wheel get any less squeakier. “Since I’m in the office today I won’t have any time to look into it tonight,” James explained and the look on Dawn’s face only worsened. “Tomorrow though I’ll be working from home, so maybe then.” Dawn tried to choke down a bewildered look. “Maybe? You can’t even guarantee me that? You’re telling me another day is gonna go by and nothing gets done? Un-fucking–!” “Dawn!” Katherine gasped at the same time as James butted in as well. “That’s enough with the language, do you understand me?” He gave her a quite serious look. “Katherine and I have given you plenty of time to get your attitude fixed. That stops now. The next time I hear you say anything mean or use bad words, it’s a bar of soap in your mouth, understood?” “Fine.” Dawn barked back, trying to at least have some dignity in squarely being put in her place. “You need to be on your best behavior today. She shouldn’t, but Katherine is taking you into her work today.” “What?” Dawn spun her head. “Since when? Why?” Katherine smiled innocently, sipping from her mug. “It was a little tough to find someplace on such short notice… And I promised no daycare today.” Again, it was the weirdest kind of whiplash that snuck up on Dawn at the least expected times. It was an anomaly as to what Katherine could seem to remember about Dawn. She could retain all the essentials, and yet disregard and filter out anything that’d clash with her perfect baby-little vision and fantasy. What mattered though was it seemingly had worked in her favor this time. “You work at a library, don’t you?” “Mhm!” Katherine nodded cheerily. “I help take care of the library and make sure all the books go where they’re supposed to.” Dawn could already imagine the back-and-forth she must have every day, walking down aisles and aisles of books upon books just to manage returns and retrievals for stacks upon stacks of them. How she was a fellow lover of literature, but not a willing civil servant of them. But as she remained quiet it only made more room for unfortunate thoughts to fester in her mind. She’d be going yet again out in public in diapers. That alone made her heart race anxiously. She could dish out an attitude and act pissy all she wanted, but it didn’t change how mortifying it was to be seen like this. After a bite of toast, James asked, “Think your coworkers are gonna give you trouble?” “They might give a little…” Katherine puffed her cheeks in thought, then looked over at Dawn. “Dawn? Sweetie?” More time left to her own devices also meant getting to eat more, unfortunately making her normalize just how messy of a process eating with her hands had become. She hadn’t accepted it, but she knew she needed to eat. “What?” “We need to have a little talk about today, okay? Just like James said, we need to be on our best behavior, okay?” She could already think of a littoney of reasons “why”, though Dawn couldn’t vouch for them being reasons she’d personally align with. And her use of “we” was awfully liberal, which had the same implications as when “we” get a timeout, or “we” get a spanking. It’s an awful lot of team-oriented vocabulary for a girl that’s always taking one for the “team.” “I know that already,” she briskly answered before her temper could lose itself. “That also means the way you talk to me, honey.” As if to imply that Dawn wasn’t a saint towards her. “I know that. I won’t be bit–” instinctively, the corner of her eye caught James, like her body was warning her to drop it and move on. “...I won’t be unpleasant.” As long as the same could be expected of everyone around her. “Thank you very much for being nice,” Katherine smiled, but Dawn had an inkling that there was more to it. “Another thing though is that when everybody sees us, they’re gonna think what most people do, okay? Remember what people thought when we went to the store yesterday?” It was such an earnest attempt at dumbed-down children-speak that her meaning missed Dawn entirely. She blinked, and before she could respond, Katherine apparently understood. Her face started with a small smile, “A lot of people yesterday thought I was your mommy.” Like it was a small hit from a drug the words seemed to put a tiny glow on her face. “You’re not, though. So if anyone asks we’re going to make that clear, right?” Dawn by now could infer the supposedly impossible, which is why she needed to find her moments just to make it that much more inconvenient for them. “I think it would be a lot easier if we played pretend, don’t you think?” “No, because it’d be really weird once people started figuring out that it’s not true.” “I promise if we play really well, no one will find out?” “You’re not my mom, Katherine.” It was starting to get annoying. Whatever Katherine thought she was, it didn’t change that she had the audacity to even suggest replacing her actual, biological mother. “But I can be your pretend mommy?” She still looked hopeful. “No.” Then she looked at James, just in case he needed cluing in. “She’s not.” But the Amazon she turned to was less inclined to using kid gloves, which is why James plainly said, “It’s not really a choice, Dawn. You will look like a mommy and her Little. With LPS already watching us we need to make it look like you’re being taken care of properly.” “And you will be!” Katherine added like a dog with a bone. “Fine. Call yourself whatever. I’m still calling you Katherine.” James sipped his coffee. “You can’t in public.” “What?! Why not? Kids call their parents by their first name all the time!” Admittedly, she knew that was wholly untrue, but it’s not like they’d ever been to her dimension to contradict otherwise? “Not here they don’t.” James put his foot down. “Dawn, if you say my name in public, people will think I might be mistreating you.” “Mistreating? How? If anything, that’s like making me more independent!” “Littles aren’t supposed to be independent,” Katherine started, then stammered back, “A-adopted ones… If grown-ups hear you call me Katherine, they might think something’s wrong. And…it’s a little embarrassing.” Embarrassing? For her? Being called by her first name was what set her over the edge? Lord, did she have a lot to find out. Apparently her name was off-limits, but certainly not Dawn’s state of underwear, nor her clothes, nor just about anything under the fucking sun that could constitute her as an adult! “Only good decisions today, Dawn,” James added as he stood from his seat, empty plate and mug in hand. “Today’s gonna be great, right?” Katherine smiled at Dawn once more, who was already anticipating another shit storm. “Yeah, sure.” 17 - Too Tight “Dawn? Honey? Please?” “No.” Her arms were crossed and she sat firm. “It’s not as bad as you think?” “Yes it is! I told you that!” There wasn’t any remorse for a person who so one-sidedly decided to spring this on her. Dawn didn’t ask for it, so she had no qualms in refusing it. “Don’t you wanna get out of that chair? There’s still a little time to play with Waver or watch cartoons?” “Then take me out of the chair!” With a hand on her hip, Katherine frowned. “Dawn, you need to eat your egg.” “No.” James had left a few minutes ago, and Katherine finished not too long after as well. Dawn, by her standards, was done with breakfast as well. But apparently not. She may have gone along with it, but by sheer circumstance and bizarre occurrence, the unrequested egg that’d miraculously appeared on her plate had still remained untouched. Where it went was of no concern to Dawn, as long as it wasn’t her stomach. Katherine was already lifting her not-sippy cup with hands on it, “Do you want some more milk to wash it down?” With a huff she pushed the plate back. “I don’t like eggs, Katherine!” And yet it was dragged right back in front of her. “But you can’t be a picky eater,” Katherine scolded. “Don’t you want to get out of that wet diaper and into a dry one? The longer you take, the longer it takes to get changed?” It was a low blow, especially with Katherine casually remarking about what Dawn thought was only known to herself. When did she notice that her diaper was wet? Wet wasn’t even the right word. She didn’t feel wet. The diaper had done its job and absorbed. It was just…fuller now. “...It’s gross, though!” “Come on, just a small bite, how about that?” Katherine left and came back with a fork and knife. She performed surgery from the next seat over, cutting off a small corner to an already bite-sized piece meant for Dawn. Holding it on the top of her fork, she held it out for Dawn. “Come on, open up! Say ‘ahhh!’” The closer Katherine brought the fork, the more and more Dawn leaned her head back, but the give and take could only last for so long once she was hard-pressed against the back of a chair she couldn’t get out of on her own. Being a cornered animal, she finally lashed out. Slap! Somewhat. Dawn didn’t slap Katherine, but the shock was still there, which was likely why she was able to get away with what she just did. With a swift hit she knocked the fork from Katherine’s grip, sending it clattering on the floor and the small, meager piece of egg with it. “Dawn!” Katherine gasped at the floor before flashing a stern frown back at her. But for once in this horrid timeline, the stars had aligned. The moment she heard paws scraping the floor Katherine spun her head. “Waver? No, No!” Dawn did her best to turn her head and see as well, though limited by her Little-proofed seat, she could only catch fragments of the ambush from her now-furry friend, Waver. She didn’t even need to see it. She heard the dog collar jingle, and she heard the fork scrape across the floor from being kicked by an eager paw. “No! That’s not for you! Drop it!” Katherine tried to command, but by the sound of her voice, the situation had already solved itself and slipped from her grasp. Rubbing her forehead she knelt down on the floor. “It’s fine…it’s fine…it’s just an egg…” she sighed, sounding quite beside herself. Katherine’s eyes found Dawn’s first before saying, “That was a very mean thing you did.” And Dawn was currently trying to not look purely amused for once. Maybe it was a great way to start the day. And now to send it home, with a smirk no less, “I said I didn’t want any eggs?” “I want an apology right now.” “For what?” “For hitting.” “I didn’t hit you! I slapped the fork!” Had this been a court of law, her argument might have actually worked. If only the judge and jury weren’t as rigged as an arcade machine. “We do not hit things out of other people’s hands, Dawn.” “And we don’t force other people to eat what they don’t want.” “No more back-talking,” Katherine kept her frown, sitting back down in the chair with the same fork. “If you don’t want to apologize then that’s fine. You’re finishing your breakfast though.” The Amazon looked to double down with her resolve as the fork soon had a larger bit of egg atop it this time, only now Dawn could tell that the fork wouldn’t be going anywhere unintended now. Now that Katherine knew to actually hold it, Dawn was competing against legitimate Amazonian strength. Katherine didn’t advance, and Dawn didn’t make any moves either, other than her grossed out expression slowly starting to creep on her poker face. “Dawn, baby, please?” Katherine was the first to crack. “I don’t want to fight with you! Please? Just one bite? I promise; that’s all you have to eat.” With her other hand she grabbed the sippy cup. “You can have your milk right after, okay?” As much as she hated to admit it, Dawn truly wasn’t seeing any other way out of this. She had her fun, but she didn’t anticipate getting any more tricks or escapes from this. It was Katherine’s final mercy on the matter, and she’d be a fool to not swallow her pride and take it. Like there was some final trick, Dawn kept glancing up at Katherine, waiting for the caveat or whole other egg hiding behind her back, ready to shove the entire thing in the moment Dawn opened her mouth. But slowly she did so anyway, somehow making herself even more vulnerable than what a diaper and effective high chair could accomplish on their own. A tight crease was forming between her eyebrows the more she watched the fork ease toward her, all ushered by the coaxing smile from the Amazon behind it. “Choo-choo! Here comes the airplane!” “Choo-?” Dawn couldn’t help but hear the obvious mistake in her spiel, “That’s not what a–!” And before she knew it she had already fallen for it. “Annnd chew…?” Katherine slipped the fork back out of Dawn’s mouth, leaving its unfortunate gift behind atop her tongue. It was bland. Rubbery. Foreign. It didn’t even taste like food! She wanted to spit it out so badly more than anything; she hated eggs. So much! But was it all the gaslighting that made her seem to hate it so much more? She curled her toes, practically ready to explode as she didn’t even try to chew, skipping straight to the swallow. Thankfully it was only a small bite, and small bites didn’t always need chewing. Having forgotten to breathe through her nose, Dawn gasped for air the moment her mouth was clear, incidentally flashing an empty mouth to Katherine, who made a noise of glee. “Good job!” Katherine smiled from ear to ear, setting the fork down. “I’m so proud of you!” Dawn knew what had been done. Katherine knew her modes of transportation from one another, which is why causing the confusion was purely intentional. Just enough to confuse the Little to put food in her mouth. “It doesn’t change that you tricked me…!” Dawn found the words right before accepting an open sippy cup to drink down a heaping helping of milk just to forget the experience. “But we’re all done now,” Katherine said with a soothing sense of finality, standing from her chair and taking Dawn’s plate with her. “I’m really happy that you did that, you know?” “Good for you,” Dawn scoffed sickly. “I feel horrible.” All she heard from behind was a short spurt of running faucet and Katherine’s chuckle. “I think you’re being a little overdramatic, silly.” “Yeah? What if I made you eat stuff you didn’t like all the time? How would you–!” Twice she couldn’t finish her sentence, but thankfully not because of eggs this time. A cold washcloth was smeared across her face from cheek to cheek, completely blinding her for a moment as a hand rubbed it across her. “Clean as a whistle!” Katherine finally pulled back the cloth. And what was not a moment of weakness, but being an opportunist, Dawn then held her hands out. “My hands too.” Need she chastise the Amazon for being the reason her hands had syrup on them in the first place? “Oopsies! Thank you for reminding me,” Katherine smiled, working Dawn’s hands over, finger by finger much more gently. “How does that feel?” she finally pulled back, “nothing sticky?” After making scissors with each pair of fingers, Dawn shook her head. “No. They’re fine.” “Good. Now, let’s get you upstairs and dressed,” Katherine lifted her from the seat, then Dawn watched her eyes drift down at her with a grin. “I think we’ll need to start using bibs from now on, too.” Dawn looked down at herself, displeased to find that indeed multiple splotches of syrup had made their way on her shirt. Her last shirt. The last shirt she had that was actually her own and had been brought to this dimension. She embarrassingly covered one of the stains with a hand like it somehow made herself any cleaner. “I don’t need a bib! You made me eat pancakes with my hands!” “You’re not in trouble, Dawn. It’s to keep your clothes clean?” “My clothes would be clean if you gave me a fork.” “You know we can’t do that…” Dawn couldn’t have sounded more aggravated if she tried. “Right.” And likely disillusioned into thinking her feelings could be solved so easily, Katherine gave her a short, soothing pat on the back. Once they entered Dawn’s room, the first place they went was the changing table. “Please…! Just let me do it myself!” “Sweetie, you might like it a lot more if you just relax?” Katherine sighed as she looked over Dawn. Effortlessly she tore off the tapes and got to work. “And I don’t need this stupid strap!” Dawn growled, trying to flex her muscles as she did her utmost to lift her upper half, yet to no avail. “We won’t use it once you can behave…” Katherine’s words continued to carry a sense of guilt, yet be it a higher power or instilled prejudice, she did not relent. Shortly thereafter, Dawn was in a new pair of underwear, albeit the horrendously absorbent kind. The Amazon was then gushing fawning noises. “Look at you! All clean and smelling so nice!” Dawn grimaced from the table, forced to smell the powder her own backside was covered in. One of the worst things in this dimension were the uncanny similarities. So many basic norms apparently existed here as well, which to an intrigued observer might be beyond fascinating and grounds for revolutionary research on the theories of multiverses. But for Dawn? For Dawn, all it meant was that she knew that she smelled like a baby because back home this was the exact smell babies had. This time Dawn wasn’t even asked to participate in undressing herself. Without a word, Katherine snaked her hands up Dawn’s sides, bunching her shirt along the way as she pulled it up, over, and off the girl. “I can take off my own shirt!” “I know you can, honey,” Katherine said as she set the shirt aside. Then she stopped for a moment, staring for just a second, then set Dawn on the floor. The pause didn’t go unnoticed by the Portal Little. “What? What is it?” “Hm?” Katherine tilted her head, apparently not on the same page. “Do you want to wear pants today?” “There’s nothing else I’d wear.” Dawn folded her arms, waiting as Katherine went through the dresser. Looking up at it, she was reminded of how nothing in it could ever be passed off as either dignified or mature clothing. Whatever was in there came from yesterday’s shopping trip, the same place that sold cribs and laxative-laced chocolates. “Well I think you’d look adorable in anything you wear?” Katherine closed the drawer, kneeling down with a bundle of new clothes. “I don’t want to look adorable. I want my adult life back.” Even putting it into words made her hurt, coming to terms with what the facts were right now. “I know you’re a big girl, though?” Katherine then held out a pair of baby blue pants by the elasticized waistband, “Step in?” Begrudgingly Dawn did step in, and as she did so she said, “Say whatever you want, but it doesn’t change that I’m being forced to wear diapers and call you my mother in public? James spanked me!” “That was because you were being bad, Dawn. But…I don’t like the idea of spankings either, sweetheart. I think we were all a little upset about everything that happened yesterday…” Rich. Because of course, if everyone was down on their luck, that apparently meant Dawn was taking one for the team. “Remember the timeout we had to give you?” Like it was yesterday…because it was yesterday. “Yes. I remember.” Dawn grumbled, allowing herself to be turned by the shoulders. “I bet that wasn’t so fun either, huh? But, even stuff like that can be good, you know? Sometimes we all need a little quiet time to think about our actions.” Just like how solitary confinement is supposed to make prisoners stay in line? Confinement didn’t beget reform; all it taught was to better hide malicious intent. Then a finger wedged itself between her bare back and bra strap. “Katherine? What’re you–?” The clasp was undone and her bra started to droop. “I was a little surprised to see you wearing one of these…” Katherine murmured. “Sorry? What’s wrong sweetie?” “Why are you taking off my bra?!” Dawn exclaimed, already fishing for the ends Katherine was holding behind her. “Dawn, honey, you don’t need one?” Katherine calmly said as Dawn could only whimper from her final article being removed. “Yes I do!” She stared up at Katherine’s enormous chest, big even for herself. Dawn’s relative chest size wasn’t nearly as big, but breasts were breasts and she was by no means flat. A snug shirt was slipped over her head with short sleeves and a length that just barely reached over the waistband of her pants. Looking down at herself the first thing she eyed was her chest, expecting to find two small tell-tale nubs, but she didn’t. No pointy-ness, and in fact, the same exact look as if she were wearing a bra, yet they felt and looked just as supported. Confused, she rubbed her fingers against the thicker material of the shirt. “The shirts they make for girls are made to cover up your privates,” Katherine explained with a smile. “You surprised me when I saw you wearing a bra! I guess shirts like these aren’t common back where you’re from?” “No…they’re not,” Dawn answered as she touched her chest, still inspecting the feel. Her shirt somehow worked just like wearing a bra, except without the strain of the straps on her shoulders? And to hammer it home, she bounced on her toes for a moment, surprised by the nonexistent bounce too. For all women? Dawn skeptically looked up at Katherine who seemed to have a much…heavier burden on her torso. “Your clothes are the same?” “Me?” Katherine blinked in surprise, then laughed. “No, no! Grown-ups still need to wear bras; that’s only for Littles.” she chuckled, and Dawn nearly tripped from the tremor that widened the gap. “Doesn’t it feel nice not needing to wear one?” Maybe on some level it did. Practically, maybe, but not in every way. Sure, it meant she didn’t have to wear one more thing, but it also meant she didn’t have to wear one more thing. An important thing. A mature thing. An adult thing. “...I want to put it back on.” The lack of enthusiasm must have surprised the Amazon. “What? Don’t you feel less stuffy, though?” “That’s not the point…” Dawn looked down at herself, at her specially designed clothes, feeling more corralled and collared by the second. “It…this feels weird.” Desperation hugged her throat and her eyes did not drift. “I want my bra back.” And while the insecurity was setting in, it was a cloudy forecast from Katherine’s shadow and her gentle shower of bad news. “Dawn, you’ve been wearing that for almost two days now. It needs to be washed.” “Th-Then…” Of course Katherine couldn’t understand. She didn’t have to wear kid shirts with bras built in them! “Can’t we just wash it now?” Dawn stepped in place, trying to discharge her bubbling emotions. Katherine folded her two-cupped friend and sandwiched it between her palm and thigh, calmly explaining, “Sweetie, we need to get going soon; it’s not going to be ready by then.” A small noise of frustration escaped Dawn’s mouth. It wasn’t targeted anger, but genuine discomfort. Discomfort that preyed on her mind and sense of self. “My…my other shirt? I want to wear that. The one I was just wearing!” “The one you got syrup on?” Katherine tilted her mouth. “Honey, what’s wrong?” “It’s nothing!” Dawn lashed, tugging at the bottom of the shirt with a sporadic thought that it’d suddenly become shorter. “This…this feels too tight!” This felt wrong. None of it felt right. “Dawn? I promise that you look pretty?” “It’s not about being pretty!” Dawn panted with a whine, throwing her hands off the article in frustration. “This…this is wrong! These aren’t my clothes…! These…this isn’t what I wear!” What was hers anymore? Maybe it was more lingering, remnant and pointless sentiment that was finally being peeled off of her, but it was nothing short of frightening. She didn’t have panties. She had diapers. She didn’t have jeans. She had elasticized toddler pants. She didn’t even have a bra. She had a babified Little’s shirt. “C-can’t we buy a bra or something on the way?” “There aren’t a lot of places that make those for Little’s, sweetheart…” Fuck! Why is there always some kind of reason…?! She wanted to say something back, but the frantic back-and-forth seemed more and more pointless with each time it failed. But more importantly, her shirt was feeling awfully tight then. It was shrinking. The room was hot. She could barely breathe…! In a panic she grabbed at her shirt, taking a few aimless steps back while she fought the fringe and started lifting it over herself. “Dawn? Sweetie, please? We just got you dressed…” It was a cocoon. A bio-morphing machine that was trying to change her. Everything was. Katherine. James. This dimension. These clothes. These diapers…! And all she could see was a pale mint green, trapping herself inside a suffocation chamber with a mind of its own. She twisted, contorted and pulled, but it felt stuck and immovable. And without a rational sense of self left, she whimpered as her feet couldn’t keep in place and the world went sideways. Without her knees able to touch and a constant muffled crinkling filling her ears, the room was only filled with her noisy diaper and madness to go with it. “H-help! Help me! Please! I-I can’t breathe! T-take it off…! TAKE IT OFF!” “Dawn! Honey!” And she flailed her feet and legs, crying as a nearby tornado suddenly swooped her in the air and she was too trapped in her prison to fight it. The air was running thin and she was feeling light-headed. Was this really it? Was this how she kicked the bucket? Suffocated by her own clothes and having her lifeless corpse flung about by an indoor natural disaster? Before she knew it though the tornado had her upright and with yet another swift swipe of wind her vision had returned. That being said, had Dawn owned her wet eyes she may have come to realize that. It was panting and sobs, overwhelmed by a mountain of change that was effectively trying to kill her. Kill Dawn. The actual Dawn, all so they could carve out her husk and stuff it with whatever this place wanted to. “Baby? Can you hear me?” Katherine’s words hit with haste but had a cushioned impact. “Shh…shh… It’s okay, see? You’re alright. Everything’s completely fine… Shh…shh…” Whether that was true or not, it wasn’t as simple as going from one-hundred to zero, and the decline was a long process indeed. Dawn heaved and hiccupped, left with no other choice than to lean into whatever soft mighty mass was being pressed against her. The disembodied voice in her frazzled mind continued to coo and calmly instruct. “It’s okay…all right? You can breathe… You can…nice and slow…deep breaths…uh-huh, just like that…” Dawn couldn’t even make words anymore, too busy trying to make her mouth and lungs cooperate with just the basics. Fear had seized her mind yet again and she was just finding the courage to reclaim it once more. The large thing that slowly and easily massaged her bare back was like the anchor that kept her ashore and afloat in the stormy port. It was her taut iron-linked chain she tried to sync her breathing with. Down it went, in goes the air. Up it came; exhale. Her arms felt cold, but it froze everything from within, harbored from the warm exterior that she was starting to realize. A warm hug, it was more like. Probably because it was. Finally, she opened her eyes, seeing that the side of her face was pressed against Katherine’s sweater-covered stomach. Her feet were suspended just where they came around her waist and had no lap left to rest on. Taken in by a subtle but calming fragrance, the accompanying warmth made her feel weak all over, had her panic attack not done that already. The symbolic tool she used to find the rhythm and structure was just Katherine’s hand rubbing her back, slipping itself easily under her shirt. The snug one, but also the same one that apparently wasn’t as impossibly tight as she thought. “Does your shirt still feel tight?” In any other context it would’ve come off as mocking. Of course shirts didn’t magically constrict or shrink as you wear them. That was obvious. Obvious to anyone of a sane and stable mind. The shame and embarrassment made her wince, but Dawn mumbled back exhaustedly, “No…” “Good. Let’s give it a few more seconds, alright? Breathe nice and slow. In, and out…In…and out…” And for once, Dawn listened without rebuttal. One step beyond her frightened self, it hurt to feel so vulnerable. To feel so unstable in a way that she’d never been hit by since coming here. Since embarking on this god awful, prolonged vacation. The day hadn’t even started yet and she was already feeling like shit… Since when could she not control her breathing? Since when was she a danger to herself? There wasn’t a single time in her life that her own emotions could be so volatile and lethal…! It sucked. So much. Just like with diapers, adorned right beside it on her wall of shame now was mental weakness. Panic attacks… Dawn for once didn’t need to ask for the gestures to stop. Katherine of her own volition eventually removed her hand, smoothing out the same shirt Dawn was certain was trying to kill her. While the massaging ceased, her hand still rested on the girl’s backside and lower back. “Feeling better?” Katherine asked from above, and Dawn wordlessly nodded. The hypocrisy would’ve been too damning to have taken the brunt of it now. Whether she wanted to openly admit it or not, Katherine was the only reason she wasn’t still up on the ledge right now. Her greatest enemy had for a brief moment somehow become her hero. How ironic. “Oh!” A quiet, upbeat chipper came from Katherine, and Dawn could hear her head turn to the spot she was already looking. “Looks like somebody came to see you!” Someone sure did. All in their four-footed swagger with a ring-ding from the collar around their neck and a wagging tail. Wagging as much as it was, the appendage stayed low like with his head, as if Waver were somehow in the presence of a king. Either that or he could actually get a read of the mood. It wasn’t the same energetic trot like he was always seen with, but instead a calmer stroll on over, resting right against Katherine’s leg and giving Dawn’s heel something to rest on. “Such a good boy…” Katherine cooed with a chuckle, losing her upper hold on Dawn’s shoulders just to pet the fur atop Waver’s head. With a voice that could speak to the smile on her face, the lover of Littles and animals asked, “Want me to let go now?” She did. She absolutely did, even if Katherine was the life support that Dawn needed in such a vulnerable moment. A moment that would have never happened had she not been in this situation. So if anything, this was just Katherine fixing the mess that she caused, was it not? This wasn’t Dawn’s fault. It was exploiting a part of herself that never had to be exposed. Of course. That was it. “...Dawn?” “Y…yes,” Dawn replied the second time around, too lost in her own thoughts to catch the first. “Okay,” Katherine obliged and moved her hand, and Dawn slowly slid down her pants, getting back on her feet. There was a second of imbalance and a moment of weakness, but just as she was about to stumble, Katherine’s hand found her shoulder. “Oops…is it hard to stand?” “N-no…” Dawn looked away, “I’m fine.” There was no gratitude expressed, but it didn’t stop Katherine’s appreciative look. In fact, it seemed as if Dawn said all that the Amazon needed to hear. “Good,” she exhaled softly. “If…if you ever feel like that again, you can always come to me. You know that, right?” “Uh-huh.” It was quick and dismissive. Actually choosing to use Katherine as a crutch? Laughable and sickening, just like the knot in her stomach right then. “Wanna stay with Waver while I go get dressed? I’ll be right back. Promise.” “Yeah…” Dawn said calmly and blandly. What else could she say, or in what way could she say anything? Hate was a hard emotion to process right then, and cheery felt just as wrong. So she kept it in the middle. Bland and lifeless. “I’ll be right down the hall…” Katherine assured as she stood, and even spaced the door some more on the way out, opening it wider than it had been before. At night it meant isolation, but apparently after a crying fit it meant total supervision. It was any Little’s guess why she wasn’t offered to sit in the same room as Katherine while she changed, even. But thankfully she wasn’t asked because it was far from what Dawn wanted. Anything in this dimension was far from what she wanted. What mattered and she desired couldn’t be attained here. It was all stuck with true safety across the dimensional border. Sitting back home. Real home. Home where her real mom and dad were. Her real family and her very real boyfriend. Staring up at the ceiling with the side of her vision obscured by a tuft of golden fur, Dawn wanted nothing more than for the nightmare to end… Then she shivered and quivered, feeling a tingle from her foot. Sitting her head up, she gave the culprit a mean mug. “Waver…stop sniffing my foot…!” “And you’re sure you don’t wanna listen to anything?” Katherine’s eyes communicated the concern she had all on their own through the rearview mirror. Of course she couldn’t turn around, and thankfully she never tried to, what with her hands on the steering wheel. “No. I’m fine,” Dawn tried to quickly dismiss the subject. Maybe Amazons did have good music, but that was only for Amazons. One trip in the car with Katherine already taught Dawn the kind of music she could expect while in attendance. Only the finest hit singles like The Wheels on the Bus or Ba-Ba Black Sheep. While she was a fan of contemporary, Katherine still somehow managed to miss her wide net. The one pseudo-plus she’d had all day aside from the pancakes was a new pair of shoes. While they wouldn’t have been her first choice, plain white sneakers beat whatever her pessimistic imagination could concoct, which surely would never match the cruel realities of a place like this. Though, sticking out her foot from her car seat once more, she frowned at it. Double knotted? Triple? Single, even? It went without saying that Dawn didn’t get a hand in tying her own shoe, as silly as that sounded, but expectations had been steadily plummeting as of late. Twice, Dawn had the chance to watch and listen while Katherine laced and tied her shoes right in front of her, but the moment then just like her memories of it now was a messy blur. The fox chases the ferret, up and down the tree! Up and over…up and over…right, left, right! Something, something, something… –All the way home! And one convoluted and confusing rhyme later and her shoe was snug and tied. Maybe the rhyme or the reason had some credence, but only in the “fox” part. Sort of. The loops of shoelace around the complex knot were in fact ears, but certainly not a fox. Probably. They were bunny ears, like they always were. Or…? How did fox ears look again? A simple question, one that she’d actually be able to get an answer to. After all, they were driving to Katherine’s work. The library. A place Dawn had only heard so little of, barely even now, the day of. Per what little lore she had and the bountiful experience she’d been given herself from her own college one, the obvious expectation was a building full of books and a meager crowd of few willing to learn anything from them. College libraries had the benefit of students struggling to pass and in desperate need of silence. Unlike school though, the public city ones didn’t necessarily have graduates and unders alike with such personal and urgent reasons for going. Books though… Lots of books. Lots of reading material. Opportunities to learn… And right before Dawn could reach her head up and over just to win that extra half an inch’s worth of view from her car seat, she squashed the unexpected feeling entirely. Excited…? Absolutely not. Not a million years. Before she was privy to the nonsense and humanitarian horrors this whole place had, sure, she had seen a few cool attractions. All in all the technology and infrastructure of this world wasn’t anything to scoff at. But not once did she feel so appealed to… It was her in-progress degree that spoke to the sound of crisp ink-printed paper turning from page to page. The smell of a new book. Soft covers, hard coves. Intricate spines, synopses sometimes on the back or on the inside. O-or! Or even on the inside of the sleeve itself! H-however…this was no time for a feeling like that. After all, need she forget her situation? How she was dressed? “Somebody’s looking a little antsy back there, huh?” Katherine chuckled and Dawn jumped (but didn’t go very far, courtesy of her car seat straps), making a noise herself. “Are you excited to see the library?” “I…I guess I’m a little interested…” Dawn quickly tried to calm herself down. “We never saw anything like that during the….tour…” Great, now she was reminded of a subject that was still freshly sore. “I can’t wait to show you!” The Amazon in the driver’s seat was far less reserved. “You know how our house has two floors?” Yes, one plus one did in fact add to two. “Uh-huh.” “Well, the library here has three! And they’re a lot bigger than ours.” Lots and threes didn’t put much into perspective, but apparently Dawn was supposed to work with what she had. Big and three floors. Okay. Still, three floors was interesting. She was only used to the one big floor design… And when they pulled into the parking lot, even from Dawn’s vertically disadvantaged view she could see the upper ends of the massive building. From the second floor up she could see the ornate windows, tall and wide, carved concrete trims and linings. Multi-colored brick and black-iron roofed lighting fixtures lined the irregular shape of the walls. Extrusions were inconsistent and gave the monument character, all on top of its choice-selected portions of the roof that sloped with heavy, thick looking dark green shingles. It was all the wonder and craze the design of her hotel had, but by so, so much more. “Is…” One question started, but another was already interrupting herself, “--wait, is that a tree up there?” Maybe it was some kind of decor or design she didn’t understand, but a pocket of the building came out up to the second floor like a giant outdoor balcony or patio, and sure enough, a big head of green foliage was sitting on the corner of it… “There’s a lot of cozy places to read books here,” Katherine spoke with pride. “If they’d let me, I think I’d just wanna live here…!” It was of course obligatory that Dawn considered next that this was undoubtedly the largest building she had ever laid eyes on. Part of that was certainly Amazons taking advantage of their size, but even within this dimension, she hadn’t seen anything as large. It was like a…stadium, or something! But for books! Forget her college; they didn’t have anything on this! Crap. Now Dawn couldn’t keep her feet still. Maybe she was a tiny bit excited. But only just a little. Maybe just a lot. She didn’t exactly have concrete expectations, but just from the outside alone? Was it fair to expect now something even beyond her wildest imagination? Regardless, she tried to not let it show, and she tried to stay calm. While she wasn’t going to try and be anything as disrespectful as she was yesterday, she’d certainly be trying to stay on the reserved end of things… The engine’s murmur finally stopped and Dawn’s many straps kept her from feeling the car come to a full stop. “Okay, we’re here!” Katherine announced with a cheery intone. With both hands grabbing her seat she spun her head, finally forcing Dawn to make eye contact. “Well? Are you ready?” “I guess…?” Dawn tried to play it off, using the thought of wearing a diaper as a wondrous tool to help ground herself. Though, it may have made her plummet a bit too fast, now dreading the feeling of being a public spectacle. At least there were pants this time… “I think you’re gonna have a lot of fun!” Katherine giggled right before slipping out of the driver’s seat. Once her door was shut, it was Dawn in the company of silence while she waited for the warden to set her free. Though, what slightly irked her more than it should have was the apparent detour Katherine made to the trunk. She was treated to the sound of birds and cicadas all behind her while the Amazon fished through the back. Another gentle slam and finally her sentence had ended. And while Katherine spent a moment on her car seat, she said, “So Dawn…do you remember what we talked about this morning?” A not so quiet sigh left the girl’s mouth. “Yeah.” Sure, maybe she was required to call for Katherine using a specific kind of title, but all she needed to do was not call for her at all? “Do…do you think we could try real quick?” she gave a hopeful look. Try? What, give the ‘M’ word a test run? It bothered the tiny girl to no end just how expectant the Amazon looked. Her eyes couldn’t hide the anticipation and celebration just waiting to jump out from them. Whether it was forced or not, it was certainly an experience Katherine wanted, and Dawn could tell clear as day. So with a bitter taste in her mouth, Dawn dismissively copped, “Mom.” And before she could finish the one and only syllable, Katherine’s teeth already came out to play and a gust of gratitude was just about to leave her mouth. But she stopped short. Her bouncing eyebrows slopped off at the ends as her inner points prayed for a far better result. “What?” Dawn frowned on the outside, but grinned from within. “I said it?” “W…well…” Katherine slowly tried to navigate the unexpected loophole while she finished unbuckling her. “I think it’d sound a bit better if…uhm, you called me Mommy, instead? Now this. This was fun. This was the excitement she needed. Nothing like a word game to get the real morning started. “Why?” Dawn asked and dared not repeat. Not even on a technicality was she going to make it easy. Why call you [BLANK]? Nope! How come you prefer [BLANK]? Zilch! “L…Boys and girls don’t really call their mommies that, Dawn? That’s more of a…grownup word?” “So I’m not a grownup, then?” Sort of playing along, but also sort of annoyed now. “You’re a big girl,” Katherine corrected and assured, yet missed the mark entirely. “But sometimes with Littles and their parents–” “Guardians?” Captors? Kidnappers? “Uh-huh,” Katherine nodded, but admitted to no fault, “with Littles it’s much more common to say Mommy and Daddy. Mom and Dad sound a lot more plain, huh?” Katherine made an off-face, like she was trying to appeal to Dawn’s kid-like emotions that didn’t exist. Dawn did not readily agree, so Katherine seemed to at least partially drop the indirect explanation. “It’s a little embarrassing if a Little you’re taking care of doesn’t call you that…” and to the woman’s credit, she didn’t hold Dawn hostage by keeping her in the seat. Suspended by sitting on her arm, Dawn had no choice in grabbing onto her shoulders. But before a smart-ass answer could be thought of, or another dumb kind of question just to twist the semantics could be made, a far more bitter, cheap and annoying move was used. “It sounds silly, but someone might call LPS if they think anything’s wrong?” And that would mean LPS gets involved, and that’s somehow bad for Dawn. Get removed from Katherine and James…taken somewhere…blah-blah-blah. Quite frankly, it’d probably be the perfect time to let somebody know that she isn’t from this world. And yet, that somehow was the worst case scenario. Trust was an awfully hard thing to stomach nowadays. “Fine,” Dawn put it briefly, far too annoyed for the game to have ended this quickly and so abruptly. What a sore loser, Katherine was. “Thank you,” Katherine smiled appreciatively, and the walk to the library began. “Since we’re here so early, not a lot of people come around right now,” Katherine explained the lack of cars and abundance of empty space. “We get really busy in the afternoon, though!” “Is this place really that popular?” Dawn asked, still marveling over the look, but fairly skeptical nonetheless. After all, books were just books. She knew the value in them, but that didn’t mean every other living person did. “Uh-huh! Lots of people like coming here to read books, but we also have movies, computers, and other tools that people may wanna use. We even just got a cafe last year!” “A cafe?” Dawn finally turned her head for that, and whatever look she gave, Katherine’s glittering eyes must have found it priceless. “Yep! They have lots of yummy desserts! If you want, maybe later we can stop by?” she tempted with her tone of voice. ‘Be obedient and I’ll pay you off with sweets,’ or something like that. “Maybe…” Dawn muttered while she admired the grand entrance. A short staircase prolonged over many feet with long, flat slabs. It plateaued out into a space with benches and islands of grass with trees. Everything about this place was breathtaking, and Dawn was afraid to admit to liking any of it. Did liking this mean that she condoned and accepted all the practices a place like this had? Was this what kept Earth from achieving such wonderful things? Just a discriminatory social hierarchy and a whole lot of diapers? Come to think of it… So just a whole lot more diapers, then? As they approached the front doors, Dawn watched for Katherine’s hand to reach, but it didn’t, given she was using both to hold her. So instead two unexpected things were noticed. One, was that the doors were automatic and sliding. Impressive. And two, was the strap over her other shoulder that had somehow gone unnoticed. “Katherine, what’s that?” “What’s what? The doors?” Then she followed Dawn’s finger. “Oh! That’s just a bag I packed for you? Though, I put some of my stuff in there, too,” she chuckled sheepishly, and Dawn wasn’t smiling. Calling it just a bag felt plain deceptive. Normal bags weren’t that wide and were far more nondescript. A purse wouldn’t be as big and with so many pockets and zippers. And any normal bag wouldn’t be covered in prancing cartoon puppies all over pastels. “I don’t need a diaper bag.” It felt gross just to say even aloud. “Sweetie, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about…” And for once she guessed right about how Dawn was feeling. Then again, embarrassment was only half the picture. She was partially correct, at least; so the same as always. “Why couldn’t you have just brought something normal? Like a backpack, or something?!” Or the best case scenario of all: nothing! “These are normal, Dawn?” Katherine jostled her shoulder either to adjust or bring even more attention to her entire arsenal of diapers, powder and more. “Besides, a backpack wouldn’t be big enough. Well, maybe it would have…but that’s only because we’re still getting you everything you might need?” What? What could she possibly need more than what a backpack could hold? Toys in case she gets bored? A second change of clothes should she– wait, no gross. Super fucking gross. Dawn dashed that thought right away. So finally, opting for the high road, Dawn frowned, “I’m upset you didn’t even tell me.” “...And I’m sorry for not telling you,” Katherine apologized, though it felt more like a performance than anything. Probably in her mind bringing a diaper bag was a no brainer. Poor Dawn was too busy with her cartoons to even realize that much. “But sweetie, you know we can’t go drive home every time we need to change you, right?” Yet another blow to her image. Did she really think Dawn was that simple-minded? “I won’t need changing,” Dawn seethed quietly, and finally their trip across the marbled floor opened up to an atrium. While daylight was bleeding in from all sorts of points, the most unobstructed example was a massive skylight from the roof all the way up to the third floor shining down on the first. Thick fancy rock columns started where they stood and repeatedly stacked from floor to floor, supporting each and every platform above it. Forget what was on the same level as them, Dawn spun her head just from the astonishment of the massively tall and mighty bookshelves she could see. Shelves that looked just a few feet from the ceilings right above them! They’d taken a step through time and reached the Roman civilization in its grandest, golden era. Poor Alexandria’s library was thought to have been lost, but it’d simply gone and disappeared to another dimension. Right here…! Practically a messy blur with how far away it all was, but Dawn could see the variation in colors, shapes and sizes that lined the endless and larger than life shelves. And…things were moving? Things hanging from the ceiling? Sure, there were many assortments of cool glass bubbles with lights in them, but machines moved quietly and seamlessly across the ceiling, following tracks like trains on rails. “What’re those?” “Those,” Katherine held Dawn close just to freely point up, “are special helpers we use to manage the library!” Special helpers? “So you use robots?” “Uh-huh!” And despite Dawn making it clear she knew the distinction between what functioned off blood and electricity, Katherine continued to explain, “They help us put books back where they’re supposed to go and get the ones we need! The library is a really big building, even for me.” So probably a mini city for Dawn. “Now we have lots of helpers that can keep the library clean and organized.” Dawn watched for a little longer, but the trolley started moving again and they were off. “So what do you do then?” The use of robots was impressive, but the greatest advancements always spelled the downfall for those they replaced. “Well, sometimes books can be in hard to reach spots or in places that you need someone like me to go to. And also, there can be days when one of the robot helpers can be feeling kind of sick, so it’s my job to make them feel better!” The layers she spoke with were always a mental challenge to dissect… But on a much more serious note, the actual skill involved in her job was bleeding to the surface. “Wait, so you do maintenance on the robots?” Apparently calling herself a librarian was selling it awfully short. In all honesty, actually, it was kind of… “Cool, right?” Katherine chuckled through a Cheshire grin. “Our book buddies get regular check-ups though, so they always stay nice and healthy!” “Huh…” Dawn commented as her head focused on the trail they left behind them. Adverts and signs sat on so many shorter shelves and aisles. Fun-looking graphics or simple, informative plaques and cards that indicated topics or genres. Though, what she wasn’t seeing were any sort of numbers to indicate sorting. Sort of, at least. Much more subtly it was a lengthy series of numbers, letters and symbols? Poor Dewey would be rolling in his grave. “How…how do you guys sort stuff here?” “We use a special system that’s kind of like a home address. Kinda like how our house has a specific street and number?” Katherine explained while they ascended a grand staircase. “Every book has a house and we remember where each and every one of them live!” Maybe they hadn’t gone for madness completely. “Yeah…we do that too, but…” Dawn frowned, finding that their sorting labels looked more and more like gibberish the deeper they went. “Your system looks weird.” “It can be a little tough to read,” Katherine agreed, but Dawn couldn’t tell if the Amazon was legitimately conceding or trying not to make the girl feel incapable. It was for some reason a hard thing to ask, but Dawn said aloud, “Well can you show me later?” “Of course!” Katherine couldn’t have sounded happier. Her hold on the Little squeezed for just a second, affirming the affection that words could not. “When I’m on my break later we can absolutely do that!” “...Kay…” Dawn kept it simple, still fighting that urge to stay reserved. It sucked because she was curious. It looked like heaven for books and they were walking right by all of them. A treasure trove of knowledge and literature, yet she couldn’t even understand the basic building blocks of how to navigate any of it…! But it didn’t change her urge to sift through it all and explore. Yes, an actual place she wouldn’t mind adventuring in. To think of all the wondrous things she might be able to learn. A wonderful reprieve from everything that sucked about this world. Hell, she could even try to learn more about the madness that dictated it! Another few moments of quiet observation and fascination ensued, though that was interrupted by a third person’s voice. “Katherine?!” A loud and surprised voice echoed across the marbled floor. “Sorry,” Katherine whispered in Dawn’s ear, “You’re gonna be a little popular today!” Much more clearly, aimed at the stranger and not Dawn, she chuckled, “Good morning, Grace!” The footsteps sounded louder and closer, to the point that the other Amazon was within conversing distance of the pair. “You’re joking, right? You had no plans to tell me?!” “Grace…” Katherine moaned sheepishly, “It all happened so fast, okay?” What, kidnapping a little? Walking her around like an accessory? Dawn still had yet to look at the other woman, She was busy pinning her chin on Katherine’s shoulder. “But….ah! I can’t believe it!” Grace cried a small cheer, “You actually did it! You and James got a Little! Oh my gosh, congratulations! What’s her name? When did you adopt her?!” Somehow Dawn’s head went heavier, trying her best to focus on the “Book Buddies.” Surely they looked and sounded more interesting than this one-dimensional giant sounded. Then an unwelcome hand started to comb the back of Dawn’s hair. The only reason she allowed for it was simply so she could use it as an excuse to keep looking the other way. “Her name is Dawn, and it was a couple days ago… It’s been a bit hectic, so we’ve all been adjusting a bit.” Yeah, but some a whole fucking lot more than others… “I can imagine!” Grace laughed, no less excited. And finally some kind of social awareness must have caught up with her, because then she gasped. “Oh!” Lowering her voice, she asked not so quietly still, “Is she a bit shy?” “It’s her first time here, Grace,” Katherine spoke like she was scolding, but it was far more fabricated than the tone she’d use with Dawn. Fake scolding, and that made it all the more frustrating to know that she personally had to put up with the real deal. But just when Dawn thought that Katherine was sort of on her side, a hushed voice coaxed right beside her ear, “Dawn? Do you wanna say hi to my friend?” A question, sure, but was there really a choice? Maybe there was, but also maybe there wasn’t. In any case, only one answer could be appropriate for both. Dusting off the rust on her swivel, Dawn turned her head, mouthing an awfully bland, “Hi.” Her end of the bargain as far as she was concerned was “behaving” and using the stupid M-word. Nothing else. Nothing at all. Grace, Katherine’s friend, was in some kind of uniform. She was almost like a stewardess in some combination of white and dark green. Skirt, blouse, nametag, and so on. Did people really need uniforms to work at the library? Whatever, Dawn didn’t feel like asking. And either her response was intentionally misread or deliberately skewed, Grace laughed as she said, “Oops, yep! She does sound a little shy. Sorries!” Sorries indeed. If Dawn had it her way, she’d like to go unnoticed the entire day just to get to the more interesting parts faster. The parts that didn’t include other people. “Today’s sort of like a trial run; just as we try to figure things out.” “James works from home though, doesn’t he?” A whole day with James? After the spanking, it felt just as undesirable as a day with Katherine seemed, but at least it meant the plus of getting to stay home. “Not every day. Not today,” Katherine clarified. “We’re still…figuring it all out, I guess?” “Uh-huh, I get ya! My sister went through the same thing with hers.” Her what? Actual baby? Or forever baby? “Trouble finding a daycare, I’m guessing?” And now the spotlight was on Katherine. “Well…” Katherine’s voice lulled, and Dawn quietly and expectantly waited for what better have been a damn good answer. “We’re not thinking about that quite yet… We just got her and all, so…” Fine, Katherine. Somewhat passing. “Actually, that reminds me; why didn’t you just take maternity leave?” Was that how bad it was? Kidnapping Littles really was tantamount to birthing a new baby? “It’s…a little complicated?” Katherine deflected, and Dawn wasn’t looking to throw any life raft to help, partly because she had no clue whatsoever on what to add. “We talked about it and are still trying to decide what might be best…” Now was that a lie or a genuine truth? If the latter, why the hell were Katherine and James having more conversations without her? “Is that why you called out yesterday?” Grace tutted and her frown was heard. “I hope you’re not reading books all the time when you’re supposed to be looking after this munchkin, you know?” “Grace, come on!” Katherine groaned defensively. “I’m not gonna do that!” “I know,” she sighed, “All I mean is that the first few weeks with a Little are some of the most important? I can’t believe the boss even let you come in today, with her, no less!” “It…took a little convincing,” Katherine laughed, though her tone carried the memories of a stern talking-to. “Oh! But, Dawn really likes books! Right, honey?” she roped Dawn back in, bouncing her arm just to double down on getting her attention. “...Yeah.” “Oh…! So today’s kind of like a little treat then, huh?” “Yes it is,” Katherine agreed unanimously, and Dawn the abstained said nothing else. Said nothing else until a new bombshell was dropped. “Oh, and actually, would you mind watching her for a little bit?” Katherine asked and Dawn’s eyes went wide. “I still need to go change into my uniform…” “Of course!” Grace obliged, and things were moving faster than Dawn could even get a say. “W-wait!” Dawn cried, finally speaking up before the handoff could happen. “I-I’ll just stay with you!” she said to Katherine, clearly looking not to separate. “Oh, sweetie,” Grace cut in on their one-on-one, “You don’t wanna go back there. It’s super boring. Mommy’s just going to get dressed!” Dawn didn’t care what this woman had to say, and still looked hopefully at her captor. But instead, Katherine offered a small smile and said, “I’ll be back soon, alright? Be good for Grace?” And it was a hard fought battle not to cuss right then. Betrayed and broken, Dawn went cold when a new stranger’s pair of hands took hold of her. “Grace is one of my best friends,” Katherine calmly and slowly explained, just to ward off whatever separation anxiety she thought Dawn was maybe about to have, and honestly was about to feel… “You can trust her, okay?” Then finally, she told her friend, “Please be gentle? This is still a lot of new stuff for her…” “Roger!” Grace assured. “And actually, Dawn! Your Mommy says you like books, huh? I know just where to take you!” “Wait, no!” Katherine, of all people, cried out. “You’re taking her there? I wanted to show her!” What? Show her what? “You snooze, you lose, Mommy!” Grace laughed, and Dawn didn’t know how to feel. It felt oddly uncomfortable to be looking at Katherine empty-handed because it meant Dawn was being held by someone else. Someone she didn’t know. Someone she didn’t trust, and the only way it seemed she could protect herself was by gambling on the right people. And a small bit of emotion escaped the Little, muttering Katherine’s way, “…Don’t take long…” A hand reached out and smothered her hair and forehead. “Promise!” Katherine smiled, lingering for a little longer, but Dawn and Grace heading the other way finally convinced the other Amazon to depart. Well great. They’d barely just got here and Dawn was being transferred like she was property. Immediately it felt weird. Grace didn’t hold her like Katherine did. Totally different arm feel. “So Dawn,” Grace immediately sprung into chatting the girl up, “your Mommy must be real excited to have you, huh?” “Yeah…” The honest to God truth. Likely for worse, though. “Is it fun having a Mommy and Daddy around?” “It’s something…” Something she probably couldn’t say bad things about without making a scene. “Something, huh?” Grace chuckled. “Well, your Mommy has wanted to adopt for the longest time! She’s been talking about it a lot lately, so I know you’re gonna get lots of love!” Enough to drown in, assuredly. “Where are we going?” Dawn opted for a shift in topic, expecting to get herself into “trouble” should they linger on anything undesirable for too long. “We are going to the best part of the library. Your Mommy loves getting to work in this part!” And in line with her explanation, the bookshelves in the area had dropped to about a quarter in height, offering a predominantly more colorful selection of reading materials. The basic adverts and plaques now didn’t go without caricatures and eye-catching designs. Friendly cartoon faces, rainbows, bees and butterflies. Letter blocks and stylized book graphics. The marble was sectioned by a sweeping rubber trim that defined the difference between professional flooring and colorful carpeting. Circles, squares, triangles and pentagons of varying size and shade were on the floor. The walls on the way back had painted clouds and flowers with smiling faces and more. If the demographic for the library was somewhere in the middle, this corner of the world they had reached was far beneath that. In fact, along that rubber trim was a simple but effective faux white picket fence sectioning off the large area. Hanging above the ceiling in a large sign, right above the opening to the pen was labeled “LITTLE LEARNERS CORNER.” The kids section. This was the corner dedicated for kids. “Ta-da!” Grace excitedly cheered, stepping inside. The centerpiece of the area was a small clearing, covered with a few big and lush bean bag chairs and plush cushions. At the end and designated as the throne though was a large Amazon-sized rocking chair. Dawn didn’t need any actors to figure out what she was looking at. The story time area. “This is where all the kids can come and read some really cool stuff! Wanna explore a little?” And before Dawn could refuse, she was being set on her feet. The bookshelves were shorter, yes, but that still put them well above the girl’s head. It was vexing to think that even the most childish parts of her favorite hobby still exceeded her physical abilities. “Wanna grab a book? It’s okay, you can!” Grace assured, and suddenly permission was given to investigate. Curiosity kept her slightly invested though. After all, books were books. She came up to a bookshelf tracing her finger along the wooden edge of the shelf, trying to spot anything at least worth looking at. Finally, she landed on a thick spine and pulled the book out, pleasantly surprised that it could mostly fit in her hands. Though, that was where the pleasantries ended. Yes, the book was thick, but not with content. Thick with a cardboard like material. The pages were far from thin, and the count couldn’t have been more than ten pages total, front to back. Before even reading the title she tried to skim with her fingers, but the pages obviously didn’t bend like paper did, leading to a methodical finger for each thick cardboard page. It was more illustration than words. Sentences stopped within eight words. A “paragraph” at best was three sentences at most. Then she read the title on the front. “KEEPING COZY” All capital letters. Not very hard to read. By design. Dawn sighed, slipping it back in. Okay, fine. Unlucky. She moved over to a different shelf, a bit more hopeful. Thankfully this one wasn’t cardboard, but it was thin… A low page count. With illustrations, lots of them. Thirty pages, at most, but the words could only account for forty percent of the page… The pages were wide, just so the cartoon drawings could fit. Only then did the imagery of discarded toilets, empty bathrooms and smiling children in nurseries make her concerned enough to read the title. “Potty Playtime!” “Ooou!” Grace commented from above, making the girl realize that she was in fact being watched. “That’s a fun one! Was some of it hard to read? If you want, we can set it aside to read for later?” Clearly her disdain had been mistaken for reading incomprehension. “N…no thanks…” Dawn tried to stay calm, slipping it back where she found it. She quickly made for a different shelf. Please, don’t let door number 3 disappoint. She moved and walked, trying to ignore her crinkle, and suddenly felt drawn to the higher shelves behind the rocking chair. Just by the distribution of size and width Dawn was feeling far more hopeful there. Content she had no idea, but maybe for being much closer to actual stories? Her hands latched onto a book far bigger than what she had just been touching. Amazon-sized, maybe? But just as she was starting to slide it out… “Ah-ah!” Grace tutted and Dawn watched her hand invade her vision and firmly press it back in. “Sorry, Dawn! Those are the ones the grownups read to everyone. Why don’t we go check out some other books?” Grownups only? Dawn scrunched her eyebrows and frowned. Turning in place, she looked up at Grace. “So why can’t I touch them?” Without skipping a beat, the Amazon explained, “Because those are for grownups, sweetheart.” “So I can’t read them?” “It’s a rule, honey. Books need to be taken care of, so that’s why you can’t touch the ones on that shelf, okay? Those ones are a little too big for you, but I promise you can see them once we start story time?” And like that her curiosity was dying fast. Not allowed? Against the rules? She turned and made a beeline for the exit. “Whoa, where are you off to?” Grace chuckled, having no trouble at all to keep ahead, and the audacity to lift Dawn and turn, positioning the Amazon between her and the exit. “I want to read books. Actual books,” Dawn frowned. “And there’s plenty to read here?” Grace smiled, but the look wasn’t reciprocated. “Why can’t I go out there?” Suddenly the white picket fence surrounding the space felt less like decor and more of a functioning container. “Because it’s easy to get lost, honey. We have plenty of fun stories to read here?” Sure, she had to behave, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t list her grievances, right? “I don’t care about the books here. I wanna go see what else is around here.” Go explore the big shelves. The genres and topics. Anatomy of foxes. Nothing about cozy playtime and feel-good fantasies that lasted for ten pages! The only reading material in here was assuredly for first graders and below, and that felt like a stretch. Kindergarteners, maybe? But firmly, she was denied. “No, Dawn. That’s a rule we have here.” “Wh-what? What rule?” “No Littles are allowed to play with the books.” E… Ex-fucking-cuse me?