Mee

Apologies for the wait! It should be back to a regular release schedule now, but if you're ever itching for more you can find 13 more chapters to read! Thank you for reading! Yeah, me too. Thank you for the kind words. And thank you very much! I tend to keep on finding fault with my work and ways I can improve, but I am proud of at least doing this for so long now. Thank you very much!

It's a little bit of both; predominantly lovers dictated by a kink, I'd say right now. While there is attraction to one another, unless I'm forgetting something definitive that I've brought up before, I'm not necessarily trying to label the two as anything other than what the reader interprets it as right now. As far as writing anything explicit in this story, nothing is certain, but I don't have plans for that between these two characters, as I want to emphasize their love for each other in different ways. Hope that gives some insight. Thank you for reading! Seeing the circle expand a little would definitely be fun, and I'm sure that Emily could come around to the idea of involving others, as far off as that might sound... Thank you for reading!

Thank you for the kind words! I'm happy to share again, and apologies for the delay! Nope. I hadn't made a post in at least a handful of days. It is what it is and I'm just moving on/rebuilding. Or from a different perspective, I'm not trying to think too much on it because I don't think I'll find a meaningful answer, if at all, nor will it affect me moving forward. Not much to say other than that. Best of luck!

Please Read this before reading that! Hi everyone! This has been a busy year for me that's led to a lot of inactivity as far as the DD board goes. I've been neglecting a public release schedule that I've promised before, and I plan on making good on that now. I'm sure many of you have heard about many creators from this community losing their Patreons, and I wasn't an exception. The situation sucks, but I'm working on putting things back together. That includes a new Subscribestar which is live now with all the latest chapters of Sheltered and Illegal Immigrant. Slowly moving forward I'll be reuploading previously lost content and stories alongside new stuff that will be coming in more regularly. If you are a previous patron and want to know where I am now, that's where I'll be! There is a public post on that page which goes into a little more detail about everything and my plans moving forward, but regarding here on the board, I'm planning to return to a regular release schedule. With that included, I have Patreon stories that I've featured on here in an incomplete state; I'll be trying to find those and post the remaining halves since it has been quite some time now. But for starters, please enjoy two chapters from Sheltered and Illegal Immigrant. I never imagined myself reaching quite this point as being a creative with diaper stuff, but to everyone that reads or plays my stuff and in some way is entertained by it, has thoughtful feedback, comments or considerations, thank you! Maybe in a way this reset will get me back into some better habits. As per usual, please stay tuned, and consider dropping by the Subscribestar! Thank you! Also, I'm making space for some short-story commissions at $15/1000words (10k words or less) if you're interested! For those who have discussed and we've agreed upon commissions prior, yours will not be affected. Admittedly this is a way to recoup missed opportunities given the circumstances. But aside from all that, please read and enjoy! 19 - Jumping Around “Okay…” Dayna started from her rocking chair, postured like a queen before her masses, all condemned to diapers, bottles and sippy cups whilst she delivered her royal decree. Dawn listened to each and every familiar noise, though. The laminate skin covering the book as it slightly crinkled from opening the book; a much more nostalgic noise than the kind of crinkling she was hearing from her neighbors practically every two seconds. The sound of a flipping page as the air caught underneath it was pushed and moved. It looked and sounded certainly like a real book. Maybe if she closed her eyes, she could disillusion herself into thinking that it was a normal book. But imagining things was hard when reality kept knocking on the doorstep to her brain. The side of someone’s hand right next to her gently pressed against her temple as a not so quiet whisper was funneled into her ear. “I really like froggies!” Kailey, the Little right next to Dawn admitted in a not so secret whisper, giggling, even. And Dawn, too kind to kick a disenfranchised Little while they were still eternally down, offered a weak smile and nodded. “That’s…cool.” It was a small gesture, but it made the girl shiver with excitement like she’d just formed an unbreakable bond with a new best friend. Dawn nearly tipped over to her side once Kailey nudged just a bit closer. Their hips were full on touching now, and the final adult of the two was trying to ignore whatever friendly actions she was trying to take. Even acknowledging Kailey was apparently enough to send the wrong signals, and yet flat out rejecting her felt horribly wrong. “Dawn…?” A voice above the book in an actual quiet voice edged, and Dawn’s eyes drooped, seeing that it was Dayna addressing her. “I want to see that juice gone by the end of this story, okay?” “I’ll finish it when I do…” Dawn quietly seethed, but just to get the Amazon off her back, she reluctantly lifted the bottle, turning her head away from the crowd just to sneak a suck. “Okay, kids?” Dayna addressed everyone this time, trying to get back the oddly short attention spans from all the former adults sitting in attendance. “Are we ready for a story?” “Yeessss!” all but Dawn cheered back in mismatching unison. “Then let’s all be good boys and girls and be good listeners, okay?” Dayna asked clearly and carefully again, perching her hands on either end of the book. “Okayyy!” Another response from the hive mind, and it only brought a toothy smile to the Amazon’s face. “Okay…!” Dayna, the woman a day away from vacation, chuckled. Dawn cringed the moment she stared up at the woman, ordering and bossing her around. The eyes, the smile. The easy going attitude she had despite it being just another weekday of work. What did a little bit of trouble matter at a shift of work if it meant having a whole week– no, two? A holiday or a vacation right after? It suddenly made the day-to-day so easy and doable just from knowing that nothing but freedom and relaxation came right after it. That was the problem, though. Dawn got it. She understood it. Staring up at the Amazon, for once a sickly feeling of empathy stabbed her like an invasive needle. It made her grimace, turning away for another swig of her bottle of juice. It made her feel weak. Incompetent. Disenfranchised and debilitated, sitting in a diaper at a storytime circle while the “adult” in the room told her how to act and behave. Dayna got to be the king of the castle and was free after today. She was her own person, and right now that was so much more than Dawn could speak to. The only thing that slightly tugged her out of her mental misery right then was Dayna interrupting her thoughts with a beginning narrative. “There once was a pretty little pond hiding away in a big green and lush forest! Snails, beetles, fish, dragonflies, and of course,” she paused for just a brief moment, just to look right at Kailey whose knees were already quivering excitedly, “frogs!” While they were asked to be quiet, that didn’t mean Littles weren’t allowed to express emotion, hence why Kailey could giggle and bounce without reserve. “And in that pond…” Dayna went on, smiling over such an engrossed audience, “lived the bounciest, most jumpy frog there ever was; Jeremy!” “Can we see? Can we see?” Kailey was practically begging, bouncing on her bottom and soon enough getting the other Littles to join in. “You’ll all get to see, just be patient now!” Dayna laughed, and Dawn couldn’t look more disinterested. Nevertheless, she watched the Amazon turn around the large and wide story book, holding it lower to the ground to showcase the illustrations that she was privy to first. It was a print of a watercolor painting of a pond inhabited by all its usual fauna and foliage. Fish were swimming, birds were chirping, ducks looked like they were quacking, and so forth. But of course they weren’t the realest depictions of their counterparts. Rather, the illustrator must have decided beaks and bills could curve enough just to smile, and all eyes had pupils like people. The showcase was long and slow, starting on one end of the crowd, slowly panning to the other end where Dawn was sitting. Heads and faces were turning and poking out just to watch the still image for as long as possible, leading to Kailey’s head and hair knocking against Dawn who was trying not to bother looking. But of course, Dayna stopped right when it reached Dawn. “Dawn, sweetie? Don’t you wanna see the pictures?” “I saw it a second ago.” Dawn answered right back, looking squarely up at Dayna, specifically avoiding the book. “No you didn’t!” Joe Schmoe, the adult in diapers down the aisle, loudly accused her. “I saw!” he announced again that he saw what he didn’t see. “She didn’t look!” “Liam?” Dayna butted in with a slightly stern voice, “We don’t point at others.” “But she didn’t…!” he whined right back, like it somehow mattered. “And that’s okay,” Dayna said calmly right back. Apparently now she was an advocate for Dawn which rubbed her the wrong way. A bitch was a bitch if she kept being a witch. Kindness killed the momentum and muddied the waters, but Dawn was still quite certain that she didn’t like Dayna, just like every other Amazon, even if she kept bratty adults off her tail. “But Dawn,” Ah, thank goodness. It’s easy to hate her again. “It’s rude to turn your head when someone tries to show you something?” “--But you just said I didn’t have to?” Dawn blurted right back in an incredulous voice. “Yes I did, but that doesn’t mean you have permission to be rude,” Dayna scolded her, and Dawn was fighting back the urge to use a vile set of words. She had yet to say anything, but whatever story her face was telling, Dayna was picking up on it like blood in the water. “Dawn?” Dayna gave her a look, and Dawn was doing her best to internalize what was dying to burst out. Make good choices… Make stupid…fucking stupid good choices… Dawn exhaled instead of speaking, feeling all the eyes on her. The only reason she had no supporters nor opposition could have only been because of the Amazon sitting in the chair. Her words built a wall that kids were simply too trained, disciplined and scared to try climbing. The fact that her “peers” were victims to that same concept spoke volumes about how warped things were here. She lifted her knees, laying her arms on them and finally perching her chin on them. Putting on her best ‘I’m totally not pissy voice’, she said, “Okay. I’m looking.” Her eyes were certainly pointed at the pages. Her face was undeniably aimed at the thing that Dayna was holding. But that was it. She wasn’t “seeing” anything. Nothing more than red, and her imagination speculating all the cool and cunning things that she could have said or could have done. “Can we see the next page…?” Kailey asked Dayna in a shy voice, and whatever “smile” Dayna was giving Dawn, it looked a bit more genuine once the other Little was on the receiving end of it. “Not until we read it, silly!” And like that, the tension was cut and Dawn was freed from the magnifying glass. Thank God for Kailey’s curiosity. But either way, even if Dawn was calming down, her bladder certainly wasn’t. It was feeling fuller and she was becoming more squeamish with each second. Internally, of course. That didn’t stop her from glancing at all the other littles, wondering for just a second in morbid and fearful curiosity. Do they actually…use them? Willingly? They had to. It was a given. The looks on their faces, the way they acted…they were so…subdued. Like nothing bothers them. Like this was normal. All of this. The treatment, the talks. Their clothes, their circumstances and undeniable demise. But confronting that apparently didn’t matter. Not when they had stories being read to them. Not when they had stories, and not when Dawn had to stay under the radar that she was flying dangerously close to. Staring at her own personal demise, finally she lifted the bottle again, disappointing herself with the touch of a silicone nipple. “And Jeremy said to Mr. Birdy,” Dayna’s voice flipped from her narration to impersonation, and upped her pitch with a twinge of croak, “Why don’t you like to eat flies? They’re so yummy!” And while the crowd erupted into a fit of giggles and laughs, half of Dawn’s brain was trying to see the humor in something so simple while also trying to remain inconspicuous. She didn’t have much time, unfortunately. There wasn’t much to read on each page of the book, meaning they were fed quite often some sort of image to look at, just to tickle their curiosity into being excited for the next. Big moments in the story had more than just Kailey bouncing now and the Little Learners Corner sounded like it was experiencing a localized thunderstorm “Let us see!” “We wanna see!” “Please? Please?” They’d stick their heads out with pleading eyes just to be the first to see what Dayna had to show. Dawn wasn’t coincidentally looking away anymore, but she was maintaining her practice of seeing “through” whatever fiction was being advertised to her.. “Boys, hands to ourselves, please!” Dayna would remind them unfortunately often, which referred to every time they were putting their hands on the legs of their neighbor just to lean over for a view of the book for longer. “And then…splat! Splat! Splat!” Dayna’s voice popped with each audible sound effect, She showed the next image. Jeremy the frog demonstrated his culinary interests to his flying friend by feasting on the nearby flying insects with his super stretchy tongue. “That one’s my favorite!” Kailey declared, bold enough to make such a claim before the book was even half over. “No, the bird one was better!” Liam, the Little rediscovering a “phase” was busy with the ‘n’ word again. Both spoke of their opinions like they were facts, and in that simplified context, maybe they weren’t far off from being actual adults after all. And Kailey, a devout believer in the church of froggies shouted right back, “Nooo-uh! Frogs are better!” “No! Birds!” “Kids?” Dayna tried cutting in, and Dawn was seeing an opportunity. Subtly… Slowly… Finally she was feeling less of Kailey’s hip smooshed against hers as millimeter by millimeter she tried scooching across the carpet to a place where she could afford herself some privacy. Her time was limited as she could only keep her bladder calm for so long… In a wild turn of events, Kailey’s head spun on Dawn, far too fired up to notice the couple of inches that’d formed between them. “Dawn? Frogs are better, right?” She spoke like Dawn was a sister in arms ready to lay down her life for a greater cause. For the reputation of frogs that risked being removed from its pedestal by some annoying guy and his equally irrational and fanatical love for birds. “Kailey? Liam? It’s okay to like both, you know?” Dayna reminded, but the two seemed steadfast in their claims. Yes…just keep arguing over stupid stuff some more… Almost! Now it was Dawn’s turn to watch Dayna like a hawk. She scrutinized where she looked and where she didn’t. Kailey and Liam were stubbornly debating to a point that Dayna finally interrupted to scold them both, leaving the other poor Little out of a story on account of the selfishness of two others. Well, as Dawn finally leapt to her feet and scampered off to one of the bookshelves, she knew her time was limited, which is why she dropped to a squat, sighing as she tried to grunt and bear down what she wanted to stay inside of her. It was like running up against a wall, but it wasn’t strong when it was already cracked from having to sit still and keep on drinking juice. Finally a hot, uncomfortable spurt escaped her, and the stream started. It flowed and seeped, absorbing and soaking her underwear, if only for a brief moment. It was quick but that didn’t make it any more emotionally painless. She was peeing herself. Wetting. Just like every Amazon wanted. Just like fucking Dayna wanted…! She stood back up and felt her face quiver at the unusual warmth between her legs. She was wet, but she wasn’t. She couldn’t feel the liquid, but it’d been absorbed and wasn’t going anywhere. Not until she got an exact replacement for what she’d do the same exact thing in. It was an unfortunate inevitability. “Dawn?” And her time was up. “Honey? Where did you go?” “Is she playing hide and seek?” Kailey, innocent and clueless, asked loudly and curiously. “I’m here, I’m here,” Dawn quickly spoke up once she reappeared and tried playing it cool. “What?” “Dawn, the story isn’t over yet, honey? Come sit down,” Dayna beckoned her back on over, then noticed another thing. “Sweetie, why did you bring that book?” Holding an excuse in her hands, Dawn glanced down at it. “Oh. I wanted to read something, so I went and grabbed it.” “But we’re already reading something?” Dayna with her unending intellect countered her. “You can read that after. Come on back to the circle.” “But I finished my juice?” Dawn, picking up a bad habit, pointed at the empty bottle where she had been sitting. “So shouldn’t I be able to go read my own stuff now?” “Then we have to wipe your hands, sweetheart, so let’s wait until this story’s done so I can clean you up.” Clean up. What, did she roll through a mud puddle, or something? She certainly felt filthy given what the diaper she was wearing was like, but by Amazon standards she was probably as clean as a whistle. Well, save for her hands, if Dayna’s opinion was anything to go by. “Where are the wipes?” Dawn huffed, looking around for the dreaded diaper bag. “I’ll wipe my own hands…” But apparently Dayna wasn’t as cunning as she made herself out to be. Either that or she didn’t care to be particularly crafty. “Dawn, do I need to tell Mommy that you were misbehaving?” If she didn’t feel like playing a game to convince Dawn of what the right thing to do was, she needed only to hang a stupid, pointless threat over her head. She grit her teeth and they stared each other down for just a few seconds. Dawn opened her mouth and said, “Well, Dayna, I understand that it may seem like I’m misbehaving, but my Mommy wanted me to find a book on my own that I enjoyed? Unfortunately, I haven’t found the right book yet, so it’s really important I have some time to do that?” “And you’ll have plenty of time to find a story that you like,” Dayna answered dismissively. “Do I need to count? Sit back in the circle, please.” Count? A very frustrating memory resurfaced, and flashes of Katherine giving her the dreaded one-two-three which ultimately ended with her nose in the corner came back as well. An unbelievably unjust punishment that never survived the journey to a court of appeals that’d never support her cause. It was a debatable act of kindness, given how atrocious all these books were, but Dawn had enough grace to set the book back down without dropping it disrespectfully, ultimately walking back to the circle, choking down a pissy look and attitude. “Dawn…are you mad?” Kailey quietly whispered as the story continued. “No…I’m fine.” Dawn tried to dismiss her as best as she could. “...Okay…” And back to her thousand yard stare she went, feeling more and more disturbed the longer she had to sit with a warm pad pressing against her behind. On and one the story went. More and more pictures that Dawn pretended to see. She was quiet and emotionless, letting the time pass by as her brain starving for meaningful stimulation rotted away. And finally… “And Jeremy hopped back to his home in the pond, happy as could be!” Dayna declared, softly shutting the book. Finally…it’s over…. “Can we read another one?” The other boy who had yet to be openly named asked the question. And unfortunately his opinion wasn’t unpopular. “Yeah! I wanna read another!” “Can we? Please?!” The Littles were begging and Dawn was revolting. Another one? Another stupid, simple and dumb story that had nothing to teach other than what maybe lived in a pond? Kailey got her stupid high from hearing a book about frogs, so why did she need any more?! But before things could sway too much, Dawn quickly piped up. “Dayna? Can you wipe my hands first?” Dayna’s head swiveled and followed each person who had something to say, giving them the attention their words probably didn’t deserve, but she was impartial anyway. “Tell you what, we’ll read another one soon, okay? You all must be pretty thirsty, huh?” She stood from the rocking chair, dusting off her spotless skirt. “Why don’t we get you all something to drink for a little bit then we can choose another?” “Okayyy!” Dawn was the first of the Little few on her feet and tailed Dayna like a caboose over to the line of diaper bags on the book shelf. “Oops! Careful, Dawn!” Dayna chuckled as she turned, nearly colliding with the relatively tiny woman. “Coming through!” she walked ahead of her, baby bottles and sippy cups in hand. “Let’s see…this one is for Liam…” she muttered as she distributed, and Dawn impatiently waited for her to finish. But as she did so, Dawn noticed each trip to give something to a Little ended with circling right behind them. Peeling back pants or lifting the hem of a short dress. Padded rumps and plastic white flashed on each and every one of them as Dayna wordlessly administered a diaper check to each and every one of them. Not only that, but Dawn looked far from happy to see a bottle with an all too familiar juice inside of it. She was one Little away from supposedly being done, yet she had that bottle of juice and a sippy cup that she knew wasn’t hers. As ignorant as Dawn was to this world, she wasn’t foolish enough to not notice a deal that wasn’t being upheld. Not only that, but she was bound to be getting a diaper check, and that meant… “Dawn?” Dayna was already in front of her, holding out the bottle. “Wh…what? I’m full,” Dawn promptly refused and declined. “I don’t want any more juice.” This was somewhat true, actually. “But you may want it later?” Dayna tempted and deceptively omitted the consequences of taking such a thing. “Maybe later, but not now. Besides, you said you’d wipe my hands after the story so I can go read my own stuff?” “Sweetie, I promise there’s going to be time for that later?” Voila. The goalposts did in fact move. “I want to read books by myself. Now. You promised,” Dawn tried to reason, having nothing more than Dayna’s supposedly good word to fight against. Yet it all felt like a game that she was destined to lose. “Dawn…” Dayna’s patience was dwindling with each consonant as she crouched to her knees, holding out the bottle like a literal olive branch; one that was only a benefit to one party. “Take your juice.” But Dawn had been pushed enough. The consequences of telling Katherine exactly what happened were starting to bother her less and less now. If she was told exactly what happened, maybe, just maybe Katherine would be on her side, or at least incredibly lenient. Dayna wasn’t playing fair and she knew it, and therefore Dawn was undoubtedly in the right. “No.” “No?” Dayna repeated. “Do I need to count?” And feeling especially annoyed, Dawn fumed as passively as she could right back by spouting, “One. Two. Three. There, I counted for you. I said I didn’t want any juice, and I’m not listening to another story. I’m trying to be as nice as I can right now, but you’re making that pretty difficult…!” Her argument was a mix of reasoning and sass, and unfortunately just a drop of that was all she needed to spoil her entire case, assuming there would even be one without. Dayna’s eyes went wide with surprise, likely astounded that Dawn had the audacity to be so bold. “That is no way to talk to a grownup, young lady!” Sure enough, Dayna wasn’t happy. “Dawn, you march your bottom over here right this instant!” She wanted her within arms reach, and the implications of that made her shiver. “A…absolutely not,” Dawn muttered as she stepped back. “I-I made a fair point! You said I only had to listen to one story! If I take that juice I have to sit in that stupid circle again!” “We do not say ‘stupid’!” Dayna reprimanded. “Dawn, do I need to come over there, or are we going to be a good girl and do as we’re told?” “I’m doing exactly what you promised me! Waiting for my hands to be cleaned so I can read a book!” “Does this mean I’m going to have to tell your Mommy how you’ve been misbehaving for me?” There it was, her best weapon to “control” Dawn. But the novelty was gone and its excessive use dulled the edge it once had. Whether that meant Dawn was the idiot for no longer caring didn’t change what she was going to do. Constant exposure made her forget the fear, which is why she crossed her arms. “Yeah, I guess so.” There was a gasp, but neither from Dawn nor Dayna. Kailey, though, held her hands up to her mouth, watching with a sippy cup sneaked away in the crook of her arm, watching like it was a soap opera. “Kailey, sweetheart?” Dayna turned her head, back to a professional smile that Dawn was learning to be maybe not as sincere as she once originally thought. “Could you go play with Liam and Tommy, please? Dawn and I need to have a little chat.” A chat. Alone? With her? She spun her head, looking for a witness that wouldn’t be willing to disappear at just the beck and call of an Amazon, much less one with a nametag. But it was just them as Kailey quickly crinkled off. “Okay…I’ve tried being nice, young lady…” Dayna started as she started to stand. The moment she took her first towering, country-crossing step forward, Dawn worriedly blurted out, “I-I want Mommy!” Dayna froze, but only for a second. “Mommy’s not here right now. Does she need to know that you’ve been bratty for me this whole time?” “I…I don’t care! I want…I want Katherine!” It was an instinctual response that she was praying for like a get out of jail free card. Well, maybe not get out of jail, but escape whatever shit she’d just brewed with Dayna. But it wasn’t fair…! She did everything she was supposed to! Dawn quickly paced back, finally to the point that she was practically jogging down the aisles just to avoid Dayna. “Dawn, come here right this instant!” “No!” Dawn yelped back, occasionally weaving past the few Littles in the pen. Shit! Shit! Why was this happening? Was she going to be punished? Was a literal stranger going to spank her? Spanking or not, she certainly wasn’t letting someone touch her privates or go anywhere near her nether regions. No matter how much Katherine and James liked to overstep her boundaries, it didn’t make it any more okay than when they did it. But Dayna, someone who Dawn had even less experience with; none, actually, she had absolutely no right to that. Besides, wasn’t she doing far more than Katherine asked her to? Either way, she refused to be caught and she was willing to do anything to avoid it. She just needed something clever, because the only thing she had was playing musical chairs around a few different bookshelves that gave her enough time to outmaneuver Dayna. In theory, at least. It wouldn’t last for long though, which is why her frantic and panicked mind resorted to a simple, stupid, yet hopefully effective trick. Kailey was coming up as Dawn sprinted with a crinkle, busy sucking down her sippy cup as she watched curiously while the Little on the run raced right by her. Like a soft glancing blow, Dawn’s hand shot out, lightly tapping Kailey’s bare shoulder while she zoomed on through. Only after she was about to round the corner again, she shouted: “TAG! You’re it!” For maybe just a fraction of a second she thought it hadn’t worked, like somehow she just tempted an adult into a juvenile game that no one would fall for. No one other than an actual kid, obviously. But Kailey in the grand scheme unfortunately met Dawn’s expectations. Not more than a fraction of a second and it was a shrill, disappointed gasp from the girl. “Heyyyy…! You didn’t say we were playing!” Kailey cried, but Dawn could hear the girl on her feet. Maybe she was chasing after Dawn, or maybe she wasn’t. She couldn’t have been that committed though because next Dawn heard her shout the same mantra, only it wasn’t Dawn she’d touched. Now another Little was part of the game, and quickly another. Soon enough a whole flock of Littles were racing around the corner like it was chaos. “Tag!” “Tag, you’re it!” “No backsies!” “Liam’s it! Liam’s it!” It didn’t change that Dayna wanted Dawn, but the learning corner was only so big. It didn’t change that the Amazon with only so much vision around entire bookshelves had to start being wary of darting Littles that could or could not have been the one she was looking for. “Kids? Boys, girls, this isn’t where we play tag! It’s snack time, remember? Don’t you want another story?” Dayna tried to appeal to their sense of reason, but clearly she’d forgotten that somewhere along the way it’d been killed like their probable distaste for diapers. Pandemonium ensued and the one woman in charge couldn’t convince them to cease the commotion. Dawn paused and raced, finding just the right moments to dart from one spot to another. She avoided Dayna much more deftly now, especially with a few other diversions racing around. They giggled and laughed, and Dayna was trying to scold and be stern, but it was hardly working. But the madness could only last for so long. “Boys, girls?” Dayna raised her voice, much more than she had before. It was iron-willed and stern, and the giggles and laughs stopped almost immediately. The pattering of feet stopped instantly and the game died on the spot. “Do I need to tell your Mommies and Daddies that you’ve been misbehaving?” She waited for just a few seconds, letting the suspense sink into their fragile hearts. “Do I?” Her head panned across the room, like she was looking for someone to call her bluff. Probably someone other than Dawn, who was still at large, now hiding out of sight. There were quiet murmurs and whimpers. While a resistance was started quickly, so too was it killed. “Dayna?” A voice out of sight spoke, and salvation had been reached. “Is everything okay?” She needn’t hear another word. Dawn was careful to take the right path down an empty aisle, slipping by Dayna and right for the exit. The joy in her voice was really just the relief from narrowly avoiding punishment, as Dawn cheered, “Katherine!” She raced right up to her and planted her feet right by the Amazon’s side, looking nothing but surprised. “Katherine?” Dayna from the other end repeated, sounding with a bit of disbelief. “Katherine, you let her call you that?” The Amazon far too late to the party with none of the story blinked, then stuttered, “N-no, I…it’s something we're working on, so… Is…is something wrong?” Dawn’s eyes met Dayna’s for just a second, then she looked back up at the other giantess and spoke. “Well yes, actually… Katherine, I’m sorry, but your daughter has been misbehaving.” “What?” Katherine sounded surprised, and the tone actually made Dawn feel uneasy, like it’d suddenly become an open and shut case without any presentation of the facts. But before the train could run away with the verdict, Dawn blurted back, “No! She’s lying! Kath…” Dawn started to say, but she could see the wrinkle in Katherine’s brow, “M-Mommy!” Whatever it took to win her over. “I’ve been doing what she’s asked, but she’s doing stuff she’s not supposed to!” For a second Katherine glanced over at her coworker, then down back at the Little. “Like what?” “She doesn’t have permission, but she was touching me! She was giving me juice when I didn’t ask for it, and she’s been forcing me to sit and listen to stories instead of letting me read! She doesn’t have permission to do that! I gave in and did what she wanted, but she’s not even being fair! She said I could read after, but she’s just gonna make me listen to another one instead!” “Katherine,” Dayna’s words stepped right over Dawn’s, “She was using a little bit of language, as well…” “Dawn!” And yet somehow the tables had been turned entirely. It wasn’t even a defense. It wasn’t a rebuttal. Her argument was side-stepped just so this underhanded Amazon could claim something even more damning. The disapproval in Katherine’s voice made Dawn recoil, but she doubled down. “She’s lying! Yes! I said ‘stupid’ once! But that’s not language, or whatever stupid thing you guys call it! Naughty words? I’ve been behaving! I’ve been calling you Mommy! All I want in return is peace and quiet! I don’t want to deal with someone like her!” she shouted, stomped and pointed at the other Amazon, finally pissed as could be. “She…! She was going to check me! Then she was going to change me, and she’s not allowed to do that! No one is! I said ‘no’ and she wouldn’t listen! I…I tried! I really did!” She did try! She really fucking did! Dayna stepped forward, walking over to the Amazon and Little, and Dawn immediately backpedaled herself behind Katherine’s leg like a tree she could chain herself to. “Katherine, I can take care of her, okay? I know you’re busy, so just let me handle this?” Dayna offered, and Dawn was feeling more genuine fear to be trapped with this woman by the second. And as horrible as it felt to say, or to ask or maybe even beg, Dawn muttered, “Mommy…please!” Dawn’s defense had crumpled. Her legs that she used as walls turned around and fell out of reach, but only because an arm swept her from behind to lift her up, taking her to the same heights as the one she wanted nothing to do with. “I appreciate it, Dayna, but I think I’m gonna take an early lunch.” Katherine smiled at her hesitant coworker, stepping into the penned area just to lift her deposited bag from the shelf. “Are those one of her bottles?” Katherine asked, pointing out what Dayna had in her hand. “It is,” Dayna answered, handing it over. “But Katherine, I really don’t mind watching her?” “I know you don’t, and I’m sure I’m gonna have to impose on you again,” Katherine spoke as she adjusted Dawn in her arm, more thankful than she would have liked to have been liberated. “I just think she needs some downtime right now, though. I’m sorry for giving you such a handful!” Dawn didn’t care if she was a handful. Whatever it took to be left alone. “It’s fine, really!” Dayna waved her hand, looking pleased to find something related to workplace banter again. “Thank you for watching her! If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to start that lunch break early!” Katherine announced, and with a miraculous turn of events, she was free. “Th…thank you…” Dawn whispered against Katherine. The atmosphere and the situation had become far too much for her to handle. That instance of tag was her final wind at trying to prolong an inevitable horror she wasn’t ready to face. It may have been instigated by herself, but it wasn’t right that she had to bend over backwards for everything…! “K-Katherine, I promise, I was doing what I was supposed to! I–” “Dawn, please? Please call me Mommy?” Katherine reminded. It wasn’t directly from a place of wanting it for herself, but the undertones of conformity and appearance were also there. But most importantly, it was something that’d been asked of the Little, and she needed to do everything she could to maintain Katherine’s good graces. While she saved her, she didn’t look the happiest, either. “Mommy,” Dawn spoke with the same emphasis, “I…I tried…! She…she just wasn’t cooperating!” “Dawn…” Katherine sighed, taking them someplace where there were no people, of which Dawn noticed there seemed to be considerably more now. “I’m…I’m sure you did what you thought was right, but you know you can’t misbehave for other grownups.” “I wasn’t…!”Dawn tried to stress. “I did what I was supposed to! I listened! I drank from those bottles when she gave them to me, even when I didn’t ask for them! She kept touching my diaper even when I told her not to! I was looking through those dumb books just to find something that I could tell you about! Like we promised! She made me put them down just to sit in a circle and listen to a story I didn’t even want to read! I did all of that! I did all of it for YOU!” Dawn finally heaved, feeling the air leaving her lungs. “And…and when I finally said no…!” she winced, and hating herself for it, she sniffled. “She…she was gonna punish me… I was scared. I was so…so scared…!” It was James all over again. The painful spanking. The soap in her mouth. Stacy taking her clothes. Stacy smothering her face with hand soap, degrading her in front of the mirror in the bathroom… A needle up her ass, and all the same humiliation she had faced with that plump woman in the bathroom. The very first thing that sent her down this mortifying, unforgiving spiral. She did it all to avoid that. To avoid all those things that made her into the mess she was, and trained her to be so fearful of every single person more than double her height. Her hands were clutching the fabric of Katherine’s uniform, and before she knew it her eyes were watering. Everything thus far had made her doubt this world and everything that came with it. Everyone included. Katherine was no different, no more than what circumstances afforded her. If Dawn took just a second to think, she could conveniently turn this woman into yet another object of hatred, distrust and fear, but her selfish and frazzled nature is all that she needed to ignore the truth. Even if it was temporary, despite what Katherine had done herself, it wasn’t enough to deter Dawn from thinking she was safe for at least a little bit. Katherine would scold her. She’d be stern and rocksteady. She could give punishments and she could be bossy. She lied and she was deceptive, but in spite of that she was still willing to offer mixed messages disguised as kindness, and Dawn wanted to be the fool. Just for a little bit, she wanted to fall for the illusions and convince herself that this was a refuge. The hand on her back under the right lens was caring and assuring, and the crook between her neck and shoulder with the right filter was a safe haven for her head. If Katherine wanted to trick her, Dawn would trip over every wire and step on every plate. Anything if it meant taking just doses of Katherine’s reality, and none from no one else. Just while her mind and body recovered. And her ache subsided for just a second once she felt the woman’s squeeze. “We’re gonna talk about this in a little bit. Understood?” “Uh huh…” In just a moment of weakness, Dawn could feel the fingers hook the back of her diaper and jeans, tugging them back. It was foolish, delusional and pathetic, but the only thoughts that registered in the Little’s mind was that it wasn’t Dayna. It wasn’t some complete stranger. It was someone she didn’t want looking at her private places, but it was the same person she was seeking rescue from. The words made her feel small and shudder, but that was it. Nothing more, nothing less. The thought of how much more it could have been with Dayna made her feel far more uncomfortable. “Just a little wet…” 20 - Dumb and Difficult “...Where are we going?” Dawn finally mumbled over Katherine’s shoulder. It was a fair question. After all, with the way she was being held and carried, all Dawn could see were the places they had been rather than the ones they were headed to. “We need to go to the break room. There’s a fridge that has the lunch I made for us in there,” Katherine explained as they walked, and Dawn had the misfortune of seeing the Amazons that had amassed while she spent the early day in total confinement. All of them, teasing her so unfairly. They didn’t give her looks, wave or say anything, but their hands carried books, thin and thick, wide and slim, fingering through pages just to tease the poor girl. “I’m not hungry…” Dawn moped, only with an appetite for reading that she’d never get to satisfy. Had Katherine not made her agree to some stupid, pointless promise, the tiny girl would be leveraging their agreement to let her see some of the other books right about now. “You’re gonna eat something…” Katherine calmly insisted, shuffling the Little sitting on her arm just a bit. “I know I didn’t pack you any snacks?” “I still don’t wanna eat…” Dawn mumbled again. Knowing Katherine, it was either going to be some horrendously spicy food, or…or eggs, even? An egg salad? Something just to grind the girl’s gears. Everything just put her off to everything. Especially the warm feeling from her underwear. Underwear she couldn’t do anything about. But it wasn’t going to keep her from trying. Even if it was futile, it was still the principle. “I want to go change.” “We’ll change you in a little bit, okay? Maybe after lunch.” “Why just ‘maybe’?” Dawn sulked, “Why do you have to say it like it might not happen?” “Because, Dawn, we can’t bring your entire nursery everywhere we go? I only brought so many of your diapers, sweetie.” “Please…” After just being graciously rescued from one tyrant, the Little being carried right then wasn’t looking to totally sour the mood with the other. “I don’t wanna argue…I don’t need diapers…I’m not gonna go through however many you brought…!” “I don’t want to make you upset either,” Katherine insisted as she rubbed the back of the girl’s head. “Okay, I promise we’ll change you after lunch. Deal?” “...Fine.” Hollow victories. At some point they reached a door, not that Dawn would know other than through audible cues. A digital beep of some kind and one turn of a door handle later and the pair were in a different room set aside from the public sphere. “Oh hey Katherine!” A woman called, and Dawn just tried to admire the decor. Even their break rooms had just as much time and money spent on the design like the front end of things. Expensive looking ceiling designs with intricate wooden fixtures, polished tiled floors, and even beds of fresh greens to liven things up… “Hi Lucy! Coffee time?” “Coffee time…!” The Amazon sighed back, sharing in a mutual understanding. “I swear, it’s starting to become my vice… Can you believe that there’s Littles who drink this too? Well, once they can though, it’s mostly cream and sugar at that point!” I use cream and sugar… Dawn looked bitter, but kept her voice down, trying to remember what a supposed blessing it was just to be here and not with Dayna. “Mm…I don’t think I could handle mine tasting sweet,” Katherine agreed, but there was no slight or mocking comment. And just when things felt as normal as they could get, “Oh! Oh my gosh! Is that your new daughter!?” “Yep she is!” Katherine replied chipperly, and Dawn reclining herself a bit more could watch the fridge open from the corner of her eye. “Her name’s Dawn.” “Well hi there, Dawn!” Lucy, a fellow coworker of Katherine’s pivoted around to a spot where Dawn couldn’t do anything but look at the woman. Her smile was wide and her cheeks were rosy. It was like another Dayna. “Hi.” Dawn waved, then went mute again. “Not so chatty, huh?” Lucy sounded like she was keeping the indifference in stride. “It’s her first time here, so she’s a little shy…” Katherine explained apologetically, but the woman was already waving it off. “No, no worries! Are you having lunch already?” “Yes, we are,” Katherine nodded, and once she had whatever she needed, the door was closed. “It was my first time leaving her with someone else, so I think I missed her a little too much…” And maybe it was just playing things up to Lucy, but Dawn felt Katherine’s affectionate squeeze with her final words. “Oh, Dayna? She’s on diaper duty today, isn’t she?” Diaper duty…at least this one doesn’t try to make it sound like anything that it isn’t. “She’s running the corner today, yeah. I just picked Dawn up from there, actually.” “I’m sure she’s excited to be on vacation after today. Did Dawn get to hear any fun stories?” “I…actually didn’t get the chance to ask her yet,” Katherine paused for a second, and Dawn hoped it would stay at that. “Did she read anything fun, Dawn?” And just like that, the spotlight was on her. Not just Katherine, but another coworker now too. “We read about frogs…” Frogs. Froggies, and all their friends in the pond. Stupid smiling faces about learning what all the other imaginary animals and insects do in their habitat. Call her a skeptic, and maybe just ignorant of the way animals live their lives in this dimension, but somehow Dawn still doubted that ducks mingled with playing cards. “Ooou~!” Lucy wow’ed, slipping her eyes from Dawn and up to her guardian like they were trying to appeal to the excitement in the girl that didn’t exist. “That sounds cool! I know we have lots of stories about animals, so I think you’re gonna have a lot of fun here!” “She really likes to read, actually,” Katherine included, and Dawn just wanted them to leave. If only she could say that without being chastised for being “rude.” “Really? So like Mommy, like daughter, huh?” Lucy quipped, then laughed. “That’s so cute!” Cute? It was cute? Then did that mean Amazons liking to read was cute? Or was it for them somehow dignified? Intriguing? Fascinating? Something more than what Dawn got, surely. Fuck, the most it ever could be was cute, assuming what she had for reading variety now was all that she ever got. How badly she wanted to go home. Her actual home. “And I promised her we were gonna go look at some books after we eat, so I’m sorry to cut this short…!” Katherine apologized, and Lucy only laughed. “No, no! Go, go! I’m so sorry for butting in! Bye Dawn, it was nice meeting you!” Thankfully, they were gone and moving elsewhere. They left with a lunch in hand, but now a nugget of confusion was sprouting in Dawn’s head. “...Hey,” “Hm?” Katherine rubbed her back. “Are…are we really looking at the books?” “After we eat?” Katherine cocked her head a little closer. “You’ll need to eat something if you want to, though.” “...But I didn’t keep my promise…” Behave and find a book to tell Katherine about. That was the deal, as dumb as the second half was. So was the first, but it was more reasonable than telling the girl to get down and dig deep through a sea of sewage misunderstood as reading material. “But you tried, didn’t you?” Katherine reminded, striking a weird chord with the girl. “I wish you could have behaved the whole time, but I know this is a lot for you…so I can be patient. As long as you’re trying.” Trying felt wrong to say, or at least Dawn didn’t want to admit to anything like it. She wasn’t trying to accept any of this. She wasn’t trying to deal with diapers or submit herself to so many attacks of embarrassment and humiliation. She was just trying to bide her time. She wasn’t behaving, she was just enduring. What mattered most was being true to herself, but hearing the way others saw it from the outside looking in didn’t feel great either… “Besides, it sounds like you found a story you liked, right? If you eat your lunch we can look for something about frogs?” “I don’t like frogs,” Dawn admitted in a burst of honesty. “We just had to listen to a stupid story about them… Some other person liked them. That’s the only reason why…” “Yeah? Why didn’t you like the story? Because you don’t like frogs?” “No,” Dawn stressed, “I-I didn’t not like it because of frogs! It’s because it was just…just some boring story that you read to kids! It wasn’t advanced; there wasn’t any substance! That’s all those books! Just…just mindless, pointless words on paper…” “Uh-huh?” Katherine nodded and listened, surprisingly, and Dawn was half expecting the admonishment that never came. “We’ll find something you like, I’m sure. And I’m sure it’s not all bad? Don’t worry, I can be a picky reader, too!” Katherine chuckled, and Dawn hung in her arms with just as little hope as she had a few seconds before. Holding out hope for anything in that tiny prison was nothing but a fool’s errand. Trying to convince any Amazon of that was impossible. Dawn liked reading, but maybe Katherine wasn’t seeing it that way. It was just Dawn who likes “reading.” Reading as much as “coloring” is when you let a toddler scribble inside, around and outside the lines. “Where are we going now?” Dawn finally pressed on Katherine’s shoulder just to sit herself up in her arm to look around. With jealousy and envy, she spotted tables off to the sides, spotted with folks in chairs, quietly absorbing enjoyment, entertainment and information from pages and pages of the deemed forbidden fruit for Littles. Some had computers out. Laptops and phones. Notebooks and pencils and pens… Some were students, maybe? Just like…Dawn. “Remember that big tree you saw from the car?” Katherine rubbed her shoulder, “I wanted to take you there. They have tables we can eat at.” “You let people eat here, too?” Dawn asked with a sideways look. If she wasn’t attacking it from that angle, she’d be far too pissed about Amazons not only being the only ones allowed access to real books, but to even risk food and drinks near them as well. Meanwhile, Littles were discounted for simply being too small. “Yes, but not while they’re reading. That’s a very important rule,” Katherine explained carefully, despite there not being much to say. And while they walked, or rather, Katherine walked them both, Dawn was unfortunate enough to witness some folks who didn’t rely on the Library’s endless services so heavily. With an uneasy feeling in her stomach, she watched one Amazon in particular, quiet and focused on her reading, pausing just to scribble something here or there in her adjacent notebook. And yet, all the while using her foot like a pendulum, quietly and slowly pushing a stroller back and forth. Inside it was of course a man, not a boy, gagged by a pacifier with shut eyes, hiding under some stupid, soft-looking blanket covered in trucks and cars. Christ, it actually looked like he was sleeping. Slumbering. Like it was somehow normal. Like he could be at ease enough to actually fall asleep in a public place. Like it didn’t matter that his entire life was over likely before it’d even reached the halfway point. Like…! “--Look, Dawn, see?” In spite of seeing the horror stained in her vision, blinking once was enough to wash the echoed horror out of her eyes. There it was, the tree. Sitting on a large oasis of bright green grass on a short, sloping hill, the centerpiece was a massive tree made up of girthy and thick, winding roots that skidded across the surface before disappearing into the ground. The only separation between what was natural and manmade was a circle of large, uniform stones establishing the perimeter. A dense shade was offered by the overarching head of leaves supported by countless branches, but allowing slivers of sunlight to slip on through. Folks were chatting and eating, just like Katherine said. There weren’t any Littles in this spot though, thank goodness. Just to watch someone so…complacently suffering was enough to make the girl’s blood boil and her mind to panic. And yet while the living nightmares were dotted all around her, at least she had a pretty tree to look at. “I still can’t believe we have this here…!” Katherine marveled at the sight. It was more than double her height, which meant Dawn was but a mere fraction to it. “What do you think? Isn’t it pretty?” “Mm…” Dawn nodded, keeping her feelings reserved. She wanted to believe that even a place like this couldn’t pervert nature itself, but operating on assumptions so far had only shocked the girl even more when supposed absolute truths were nothing more than fallacies. “Did you wanna pick where we sit?” Katherine offered, and Dawn, far from wanting the opportunity, pointed off to a corner anyway with at least some kind of sculpture as a usable privacy shade. As a bonus, it left at least a full table’s width from any others that were sitting there. “Is…is it okay for you to be eating out here?” Normal people were nearby, either eating or reading, but normal people meant a public place. Wasn’t it weird for a worker to be eating in the same space? Separation of spheres, or something? “It’s okay, we’re allowed,” Katherine assured. And without asking, Katherine took her seat, meaning Dawn took hers as well. Right on her lap. “Are there…any…higher chairs?” Dawn carefully asked, but it didn’t change how heavily she was toeing the line. Two letters less and Katherine probably would’ve been overjoyed to hear such a question. “Sorry, sweetheart, we don’t have chairs here like the one you have at home,” an apologetic explanation came, and Dawn’s modicum of hope had gone. “Is it okay if you sit in my lap?” “...Uh-huh.” There was hardly anything else to say. If she refused there wouldn’t be an alternative. Katherine would be put into a difficult situation. As appealing as that was, it meant delaying Dawn’s food, and no food meant no books; the one reason for experiencing all this suckiness. So she sat in her lap, watching all the luggage unload on the table. First was the diaper bag, then it was slid to the side. Next though were a couple plastic containers and a bottle of water. An Amazon bottle of water. No nipple to go with it. “And I made sure to keep one cold for you too,” the Amazon added as Dawn watched a baby bottle descend from the heavens, loaded with more of the same juice she’d been getting all day, only freshly chilled now. “...Thank you,” and Dawn accepted the drink just to keep her hands full with an excuse to do nothing else. And dare she ask, “What did you bring?” “I made a…salad! And a sandwich, too. You can share with me.” One lid after another came off, and true to Katherine’s words, Dawn could see what looked like greens in one container and bread in the other. The sandwich came out first though, which was an uncanny similarity Dawn could remember, albeit much bigger than the one she was served. “This is the one I made you yesterday. You liked it, right?” Like was a very strong word. Her body simply needed food. Sustenance. Energy because she didn’t have a deathwish and believed in at least living just to reach the other side. “Yeah…it’s fine.” That was more than enough for Katherine to bring the food to her mouth, and Dawn finally bit off a corner. True to her word, it had the same taste, albeit slightly more bitter than she remembered. “It’s not too much, is it?” Katherine was already asking the same time a surprise napkin wiped away the imaginary crumbs off Dawn’s face. “I put a little seasoning on mine…” she said in an almost apologetic voice. “It’s…” Dawn choked down a small cough, “fine,” and then took a swig of her cold juice to wash it down. “Once it’s time to go food shopping, I’ll make sure we get some stuff you’ll wanna eat, okay?” Then Katherine took a bite herself. “I’ll need to remember to ask James about getting you some of those Little Lunches…” “I don’t need anything special, this is fine,” Dawn tried to insist. The moment she found something livable was the same time she sought for the status quo. Nothing more needed to change or slip further than it already had. “You don’t need to be so reserved, honey? We just want you to have some things that you’d like too?” “And I like this sandwich, so it’s fine. I don’t need anything else.” Dawn spoke firmly, and Katherine didn’t push. Not any more than offering her an occasional bite from the shrinking sandwich. “Can I have some of the salad, too?” Dawn asked of her own accord, purely for the sake of variety. She looked up at the fork moving to and from the food and Katherine’s mouth, all above her as the motions ensued. “You can try it?” Katherine accepted, somewhat. It was a loaded answer with lingering effects and conditions. “I think there’s a dressing on this you’re gonna think is yucky, honey…” And Dawn, just as ignorant and stubborn as ever, insisted, “I’ll be fine.” Just like breakfast that morning, Katherine fed her a bite with a fork held out to her mouth. With a small bushel of greens, sliver of onion and chunk of tomato, all dressed in some kind of unifying substance, Dawn took the mouthful and swallowed. Her face felt like it was imploding. Her lips were folding in and the prickly, sour, bitter taste was traveling up and down her system like a frantic chicken with its head cut off. The only thing keeping her in Katherine’s lap was the very Amazon’s arm around her stomach. “Drink your juice, sweetie?” Katherine helpfully reminded, and not a second later and the girl was self-soothing her tongue with cold, refreshing fruit-like juice. “Wh-why is all your stuff so bitter? And so…so spicy?” Dawn tiredly complained, taking another bite of sandwich as she started to feel bitter herself. “You people even make your food to discriminate against Littles?” “Dawn, it’s just what Amazons like? We like sour and bitter stuff. Just how Littles like sweet things?” It was a pointless discussion because that’s the only place it could have gone, and Katherine skipped right to the end. Instead Dawn was watching the tree, angling her head up high just to see the entirety of it. “Do you like it?” Katherine smiled down at her. “It’s…whatever,” Dawn turned her head away sheepishly. “You must, though?” After all, Dawn spent last night briefly on the back deck while Katherine watered her garden. “I like it a lot!” The Amazon answered honestly and without reservation. “You know, if I could, I’d want one just like it at our house. I’d want it right in the center of the backyard, too.” “And do what with it, just look at it?” Dawn, a person hardly of greens, but not a denier of their use, openly debated. “Wouldn’t it like…suck up all the nutrients, or something?” That was common sense, right? “That’s a very good point,” Katherine complimented the thought with a rub on her head. “But there’s plenty of food for all the plants and a tree. That’s a little silly though, huh? Even plants need to eat, too.” “Yeah, like photosynthesis. I know.” “Uh-huh, very good,” Katherine praised her again, despite Dawn not looking for any of it. “But they need more than just the sun, you know? Flowers, veggies, trees, and everything else that lives in the ground also has roots. You know how trees have branches?” she pointed out all the forking limbs of thinner and thinner wood, “Imagine all that, but also in the ground! They’re like a bunch of straws that like to suck up the water in the ground and other yummy stuff that they need to grow. Does that make sense?” Yeah. I know already. “Yeah. It does.” “I like growing all sorts of stuff.” “For free food?” Dawn could at least see the use in that. “Mmm…maybe!” Katherine laughed, “I never thought of it like that! It doesn’t have to be something we can eat, though. I like big plants, small plants, colorful ones and silly ones. As long as I get to start with the seed.” “Why just the seed?” If memory served, Dawn could always remember her mom getting flowers, though that just meant bringing back pre-grown ones from the store just to plop in the dirt. Did they even do much growing after that? It definitely didn’t make much sense to her, but everyone had their hobbies… Katherine included. “...Because that way I get to grow it all on my own,” Katherine spoke, and Dawn could hear the smile. “It’s a very good feeling when you can raise something, because you get to see them from start to finish. Going from just a seed, and then a little bit of green…getting bigger and bigger…until tiny buds start to form, and blossom into lots of pretty flowers.” “So you just like the process?” “Kind of!” Katherine smiled, then put them both through the motions of taking another bite. “All the plants in the garden need a little bit of care and love for them to grow big and strong. They can’t get all the water they need on their own, so that’s my job. Sometimes there can be bugs or weeds that can make them feel sick, so then it’s up to me to fix them and make them feel all better.” Dawn took another swig from her bottle. “Sounds like a lot of work.” The Amazon holding her chuckled as her first response. “It is a bit of work, but if anything is worth doing, then it won’t be easy.” Well, not exactly. Dawn could think of a million different things worth doing that were in fact easy. Case and point, brushing your teeth every night and day. So simple, yet it saves your teeth from a lifetime of dental issues… “...Dawn?” Odd. The pause there was before speaking put the Little a bit on edge. “...Yeah?” “Can we talk about what happened with Dayna, now?” Ugh. And just like that, the next forced bite of Katherine’s sandwich felt just a bit more bitter. Dawn was brief and fast, just so she could fill her mouth with juice. “It’s her fault, not mine. I did what I was supposed to.” “Honey, I’m not mad… I just want to understand what happened?” Finally, for once, Dawn could see the most obvious trap if there ever was one. Maybe she wasn’t mad, and maybe she was speaking calmly and soothingly, but that didn’t change the certainty there’d be consequences anyway. Punishment was sure to follow for telling the truth. Undoubtedly. Call her a coward, but the thought of another spanking made the girl visibly uncomfortable. It was a trap, definitely, but Dawn was supposed to talk. She was supposed to tell her story. Share her frustrations, and just thinking of them was getting her riled up again. “She…she just kept…getting in the way!” “Mhm? How was she doing that?” It was a neutral question, completely without any indication whether she felt differently or not. As far as Dawn could tell, she really did have the entire floor. “Just…the way she talked to me. The stuff she made me do…! Did you not tell me to go looking for a book to read, or something?!” “I did,” Katherine nodded, agreeing simply. “Well Dayna didn’t get that I guess. You…you gave her all that stuff in that bag, and she wouldn’t stop bothering me! As soon as I’m reading, she makes me take some juice that I didn’t even ask for! And after she gives it to me, she says, ‘You can have food or drinks with a book’!’” Dawn scoffed with a pissy look. “She GAVE me a drink just to force me to stop reading!” “Do you think she may have thought you were just thirsty?” “I–I don’t know? But it doesn’t even matter! Because she kept doing it! And then I started to say ‘no,’ but she wouldn’t listen to me! She wouldn’t take that as an answer! She…she just kept holding you over my head! Like she was gonna tell you what a brat I was being, or something! A-and wait, that’s not even everything she did!” She was on a streak and her memory was flipping stones in a flurry of residual rage. “Okay…take your time. I’m listening,” Katherine said as Dawn was too driven to even care about the hand on her back. “There was some ki–... There was another person who showed up when I was reading; some…some Little,” it felt wrong to say. Horrible, but in what other way could she communicate it without giving in to what these people wanted? What, call her a fucking kid? “There…a Little was bothering me. She kept talking to me and trying to get me to do stuff…!” “Were you nice to her?” “Yes! I was nice! I even went to the corner just so no one would bother me! But she said Dayna told her to come over! She made her walk over to me just to bother me!” “Dawn, maybe Dayna just wanted to help you make a playmate?” The Amazon softly reasoned. “No! Because I told Dayna that I didn’t want to be bothered! I just wanted to be left alone! But she kept doing stuff! She…she even touched me!” “Touch…?” Katherine’s voice was slow and hesitant. “She…touched you?” “Yes! When she wasn’t supposed to! You said you were gonna check on me. But she did it anyway! She kept grabbing my–the stupid diaper! She pulled down my pants and just did whatever she wanted! Like it didn’t even matter what I said or did!” “Sweetie, when you say ‘touch’, you mean when she checked your diaper, right?” “Yes!” Christ, Katherine, what else could it mean?! A was low and quiet, but a sigh left the Amazon’s mouth. “O…okay. She checked your diaper and you weren’t comfortable with that, right?” “No, I wasn’t! And aren’t you too?” It sucked appealing to her on whims and means that Dawn denied and was against, but she needed support. She needed to be justified. “Didn’t you say that only people we trust can do that stuff? I don’t trust her! Not now and not ever!” “Dawn…Dayna is someone I’ve worked with for a long time now? She’s safe to trust.” “Well she isn’t!” Dawn huffed and crossed her arms. “She was being…ugh, so manipulative! She was making me do stuff just so she could make me do other things! She gave me juice so I couldn’t read, then used that as an excuse just to get me sitting in some stupid story time circle! Then she promised I could go back after the story, but then just tried to give me another bottle! She didn’t listen! Nobody listens!” “I’m listening right now, aren’t I?” Katherine leaned over just to get her head a bit closer. “Maybe…but is that gonna change anything? It doesn’t make me any more right, does it? Are you gonna go ask Dayna what happened next? Because whatever she says has more credibility than me, right?” Frustration was a good motivator for the stomach, because Dawn was already reaching for another bite. “Honey, you need to know that what you have to say always matters, okay? It matters to me and James. Just like what you’re saying right now matters.” “And that’s the problem! You…you and James can say whatever you want, fine,” it was a whole other issue entirely, “but what happens when I’m around someone like Dayna? What happens when she doesn’t care about what I say?” “I’m positive she cared, Dawn. Dayna was just doing what anyone would? It’s our job to take care of you guys when you’re there?” “Even if I don’t consent to it? Even when I tell her not to?!” “It’s because she’s not just going to ignore you, Dawn? What if something happened? What if you got hurt, or you needed a grownup to take care of something?” “Then I would take care of it myself!” Dawn raised her voice, and a hand on her shoulder brought the levels right down. “So what, she gets in trouble if I don’t let her baby me? She was doing stuff you were gonna do! I could have asked you for a drink when you came by! I would have said I needed to change when it was your break! She had no business and didn’t care that I told her not to!” “And you’d really want to be in a wet diaper until I came and checked in on you?” “N-no! Don’t twist it like that!” Dawn cried, “It’s not the same and you know it! I already said I don’t trust her, and no one is allowed to touch me or…or change me!” “But how about when I change you?” “I don’t want that either! But I can’t stop you, and there’s no one that can stop you from doing that to me…! So…at least with someone else, there’s supposed to be you that can stop it from happening…” It always sucked. It fucking sucked so much to keep on confronting the same, undying sense of helplessness. It wouldn’t die because as long as she was stuck here, that feeling would be validated. The only sense of empowerment she could have a snowball’s chance in hell of getting was by living vicariously through the Amazons that’d kidnapped her. It was supposed to be them that put a stop to the injustices committed against her, so what was the point if they listened to outside opinions first and foremost before their very own captive? The one that they “swore” to protect? And maybe it was late, and it certainly wasn’t needed, but both Amazon arms came around Dawn, pulling her against Katherine’s torso. “I know it feels tough…I know it’s scary being in a new place with new people, but I promise you, Dawn, I wouldn’t ever put you in a place that I didn’t feel comfortable with. I know we made a promise, and it makes me really happy how you were trying so hard to keep it, you know?” Happy, great. It didn’t change the fact what things had become, though. “But as much as that makes me happy, I don’t want you to make trouble for others because of it, okay?” It felt like a harsh one-eighty, which is why Dawn spun her head up with an incredulous look. “But–!” Dawn tried to speak, but Katherine calmly continued. It wasn’t even a rude interruption, it was simply the woman speaking with such inertia that the Little felt compelled to go quiet. “I think Dayna just really wanted you to fit in, sweetie. She wanted you to make a friend, feel included, and have a good time? Would you ever want someone you’re looking after to feel sad or left out?” “No, I wouldn’t, but this is different than that!” Dawn wanted to be left alone! And great, what an opportune moment where she could have pointed that out, but just missed. “And Dawn, be honest with me: were you using bad words?” “N-no! I–” “Dawn?” Katherine interrupted, much more sternly. “Don’t make me turn you around to look up at me. Answer honestly. Were you using bad words?” She…she wasn’t! She didn’t say anything bad! No fuck, no shit, no ass, no nothing of the sort that she’d been reprimanded for so many times already! What was this, coercing a false confession? There was no crime, yet Katherine talked like it was certain. Like…like Dayna could only speak in absolute truths. “I…I said stupid! That’s all I said! I didn’t swear! Not since…not since last night!” “Dawn…no bad words means no bad words,” Katherine emphasized with disappointment. “It doesn’t count!” Dawn legitimately whined. “I did what you told me! Why can’t I even say that? What, can I not say ‘dumb’ either? Is that too much of a bad word?” “If you know that it’s a mean thing to say, you shouldn’t be saying it at all,” Katherine softly scolded. “I’m very proud that you did stop saying so many naughty things, but I know you can do better, sweetie? I know that you have so many nice things to say?” The disconnect couldn’t have felt any greater, because Dawn most certainly did not have anything nice to say. Whatsoever. Henceforth she wouldn’t be saying anything at all, apparently. Her language had been thoroughly policed once already and now it was time for crackdown number two. How unfair. How so unbelievably un-fucking fair. “I’m not mad, and you’re not in trouble, but we’re not putting up with bad behavior anymore, Dawn. Do I make myself clear?” “It’s… Fine! Yes! You do! But why do I have to get in trouble for doing what I’m told?” “Because, Dawn, if James and I aren’t there, then you need to listen to the grownup in charge. Even if we make a promise, that doesn’t give you an excuse to misbehave or backtalk.” It was all just framing. She was being framed for crimes she didn’t commit. It was all for the sake of self-defense and preservation. And it sucked, just to think for even a fraction of a second that Katherine was on Dawn’s side. And yet, even with them alone in just the company of themselves, the woman still wouldn’t crack under the many fallacies that Dawn just couldn’t shine a light on. “So…so even if I think it’s a bad idea. If it’s something that’ll hurt me, you still want me to listen? You still want me to just give in?” And a pair of lips pressed against the top of her head, right before hearing, “James and I will never put you in a situation like that. Just listen and behave, okay?” “I’m done eating…” Dawn moped, crossing her arms one last time. “Okay,” and Katherine graciously moved on, “Drink your juice while I finish my food, okay? Then we’ll go look at some books.” And again, Dawn felt that the chance had somehow been squandered by their little heated debate, yet apparently not. Katherine didn’t seem to let grudges linger, not nearly as long as they admittedly did with Dawn. By the time the Amazon could be as cool as a cucumber, Dawn would still be trying to stomach the frustration and negative feelings, much less truly start to digest them. Her frame of mind was still stuck in a bitter place that would never be so gracious to herself like Katherine was being. She knew she was in the right, and Dayna was wrong. Katherine was misguided, but she was wrong about so many other things too. And yet, Dawn couldn’t seem to reason with any of that. Dawn just didn’t understand. Dawn did the wrong things even when she did as she was told. How many times would the goal post move? How many times would it shift? It was constant bouts of self-sacrifice, and the only compromises were just Dawn letting herself slip more and more. Regardless, Katherine got to focus on eating, and Dawn was able to keep to herself; the very thing she wanted since the start of today. “So we’re really going?” “Mhm!” “Do I get to touch them?” “You need to promise to be gentle.” “I am gentle! I–! I…I promise, I’ll be gentle.” Did she somehow think Dawn’s books back home could withstand nuclear warheads and she didn’t understand the concept of paper being torn easily? “Okay, I believe you,” Katherine laughed, and Dawn was simply too on edge, dearly hoping that this was going to be what she was actually promised. Finally, something just as advertised without any cruel or mean tricks. “We’ll look for a little bit, but then I need to change you before my break is over, okay?” “Fine, fine. Can we go now?” The experience of wearing a wet diaper hadn’t left her, but even the most tortured could endure something so simple if it meant being offered food on the brink of starvation. “Is there somewhere you wanted to look at first?” “Fantasy,” Dawn blurted out. Something. Anything, just so they didn’t waste their precious time deliberating on where to go. “Fantasy? Mmm, okay!” All it took was a hum and thoughtful look around, and Katherine with a blueprint of the building seemingly in her back pocket, departed and moved with purpose. Finally, Dawn with a personal escort had been sprung from jail and was about to have the time of her life. What a sweet reprieve it would be from all the baby books and propaganda that place was filled with. There wouldn’t be anything out here about the diapered divas battling the potty monster or Hansel and Gretel finding a daycare in the middle of the forest. The genuine excitement was enough to shield her eyes from all the Amazons getting to roam about the library so freely, including all the fake parents carrying their Littles off, likely to a particular corner ruled by an evil witch of an Amazon. “Okie-dokie… See everything on these two shelves?” Katherine pointed from floor and nearly to ceiling of two long and tall faces of pure literature. Dawn nearly squealed. The spines were titles, the covers looked textured. Hardcovers, paperbacks, authors and more. The images she could see weren’t pastels, some were wonderfully plain, and others seemed modest. “That one!” Dawn hurriedly pointed, and Katherine laughed, looking delighted as could be to pull one from the shelf. Katherine leaned over and slipped the book from its socket, leaving the hivemind of words and wisdom to be united with Dawn. It was big, certainly. Amazon big. A bit much, but Dawn could easily stomach that if it was just like the real thing in every other sense. The synopsis! The synopsis! Dawn desperately fought the urge to touch it right then herself. A Tale of Ten Towers, by Sofia Suffix She was practically bouncing like a junkie just about to get their best fix yet. Sofia, please don’t disappoint…! What unfortunately put a damper on things though was when Katherine robbed her of the chance to open the cover herself. Fine, whatever, Dawn would get the chance later, but she couldn’t necessarily complain about getting straight to the reading part. But Katherine stopped right after opening up the cover. Then she muttered, “Let me just take a look at something, honey…” And Dawn watched what she was looking at, but it was practically otherworldly to her. Stamped on the inside had to have been somewhere around a twenty-ish letter code of some kind. Sixteen? It was a seemingly scrambled string of letters and numbers with some symbols, even. It made absolutely no sense to Dawn, hence her frown, but also including Katherines? Before Dawn could even touch the page though, Katherine gently closed the cover and slid it back into place. She was speechless for a moment, ready to wonder why the hell she had gone and done that, but Katherine said so herself. “Why don’t we take a look at a different one?” Katherine smiled, but it didn’t add to any explanation for her decision. “Wh-what? Why? What’s wrong with that one? We didn’t even read the back?” “I didn’t like some of the things that were in that book,” Katherine explained simply, and Dawn gave her a weird look. “W-well, like what?” Hate speech? Radical ideologies that’d somehow transmit indoctrinated teachings to the reader? The only acceptable reason for putting it back was that, and nothing else. No other reasoning would excuse it. “Mmm…naughty grownup stuff,” Katherine was fast and quick with her words, like she was trying to shift focus fast and quick. Naughty…grownup…? “You mean like se–” “Ahp!” Katherine gasped before Dawn could finish. “Dawn? No naughty words, understood?” Did the book have sex, was that it? How did Katherine even know? She was a self-described avid reader, but surely that didn’t mean she had read everything that there is to read in this place? You’d need three lifetimes and then some, just maybe. “M-my bad. But wait, I wanted to look at that book.” “We’ll find a better one, okay?” Katherine was already stepping out of its reach, and Dawn watched her forbidden knowledge miraculously disappear. Normally the loss of opportunity or being told she couldn’t do something she knew that she could handle would put her right back into a pissy mood, but being allowed to come into close contact with legitimate literature just felt too good. “That one,” Dawn pointed out a new title, “Silver Stars,” feeling much more eager to take the book herself this time. And like a well-oiled machine, or one of the book buddies that Katherine always worked on, she retrieved the book, sitting it in her hands. And just to get the feeling, Dawn, despite Katherine needing no help whatsoever, joyfully partook in peeling back the front cover. She nearly cried. The flimsy, cardboard cover was just like at home, if not a bit tougher, but that was a bonus, not any kind of mocking detriment like it would’ve been at the Little’s corner. Instead, Dawn got the feel of the thin, textured paper with her fingernail as they flipped the first page up to a similar…long and complicated code. “C-can we take this one over to a table so I can–?” Dawn tried to set up their next destination with a treasure in hand, but twice her expectations had been resurrected and removed because Katherine with a small, disapproving look started to put the book back. “Wait! What’s wrong? What’s wrong?” Dawn begged for an explanation, but watched as her book slipped back into the shelf. “I didn’t like some of the things I saw there either,” Katherine frowned. On some level she must have known what this was doing to Dawn, but it didn’t change the impression that the Little figured the Amazon was just being too overprotective. “Katherine, whatever it is, I can read it! I’ve read plenty of books before!” “I’m sure you have, honey, but some of these stories just don’t seem very appropriate…” Time was ticking and not a single book had yet to be experienced or even read just a tiny bit…! “How can you even tell? Y-you’re not even reading them!” “Did you see all those letters and numbers on both books?” “Yeah?” “We call those ‘Sequence Series,’” Katherine explained slowly and carefully, like Dawn had regressed into being a preschooler again. “Those codes can tell us what a story is about and what kind of themes or genres might be in them.” “Wh-what?” Didn’t having a fantasy section count as enough? They tagged the contents of their books individually, more specifically than that? “Let me see. Show me.” “Okay,” Katherine had no hesitation and grabbed a new book from the shelf. She turned the page, and in the same fashion as the others this one was another string of gibberish. “See that code?” her finger landed on the one thing that was actually on the page. “We use sixteen letters and numbers to keep track of what this story is like!” “H-how?” Dawn peered down at the page, finding it no less insightful than the other two were. She wasn’t even seeing a pattern. All three books that were in the fantasy section should have at least one unifying trait, right? “See these first four letters here?” Katherine traced her finger. “Y…yeah?” Even the first four seemed to have no meaning, yet Katherine spoke like it was the easiest thing to understand. “That tells us the year and place when this book was written.” A location for the author? A time of completion? A year…and an address? All in just four spaces? Using only four characters? There weren’t even any numbers? How was a number stored in this? “So these two letters mean it was written about…twenty years ago. That’s a long time, huh?” Katherine chuckled, and Dawn tried to focus on the teaching moment. “And then these two right after that mean it was written in a place called Catalon. Does that make sense?” “I…guess…” Dawn murmured in a shy voice. How did a ‘Z’ and ‘Q’ imply a time period two decades ago, and letters and symbols like ‘#’ and lowercase ‘I’ indicate a place called Catalon? They weren’t even an abbreviation? “Now the next twelve spots tell us all about the story. These three let us know there’s a hero…these two say it has a little bit of mystery, and…mm. This one says it’s a little scary, so how about we find a different one?” Horror was obviously manageable for the girl, but she was still feeling overwhelmed by the system, yet driven to try and understand it. “W-wait, so…” Dawn tried to trace her finger. “So…so these three characters mean it has mystery themes?” “Yup! Very good!” Katherine was quick to praise, but the shine missed Dawn completely who was still trying to cement the understanding. She tried not to let her confusion get the best of her. Katherine was so casual and confident with her words, it only made Dawn more hesitant as she looked at it over and over. It was all a continuous line of letters, numbers and symbols. There were no spaces or breaks, and yet Katherine was somehow able to piece it apart like it was nothing? “Okay…” Dawn said quietly, and Katherine was putting away the book and pulling out another. And almost immediately when they flipped to the sequence series, Dawn spotted the same chain further along the 12 characters. “Wait, so that says there’s mystery in this one?” Dawn pointed it out, suddenly too preoccupied to even enjoy the touch and feel of the textured paper. Just like she remembered. It wasn’t smooth or rigid like all the ones back at the baby corner. What a joy, though. Not only did she get to interact with genuine books, but she was learning, too! But then Katherine made a noise, like she was proud of Dawn for trying, but she was un-arguably incorrect. “Oh, good eye, Dawn! But actually, right here are two different ones. It doesn’t say mystery, but actually this one says it has dragons, and this one says it has two main characters.” “...Oh…” the disappointment and embarrassment was hard to hide. She felt so certain, and yet she couldn’t have been more wrong. “Then…what about the first three after the location? So these…?” And just like Katherine explained, Dawn traced out the following three spaces after the first four. And instead of making the answer direct, the Amazon started with, “You’re really close!” It was like textbook childcare. Praise them right before delivering the bad news. “This time though it’s only just two characters, not three.” “But…how do you know?” Dawn frowned, looking down at the page. “How do you know where the spaces are, or…which ones stop and start?” Was she missing something obvious? Sure, Katherine had more experience with this, but…it just looked like nothing? “Well…sometimes you can just recognize them.” Recognize? Like Dawn just tried and horribly failed at doing? “Or, what we can do is take the first letter and the fourth, and that tells us the kind of ordering sequence the letters use…” Katherine’s voice was slow and careful, pointing each and every piece of the puzzle out, but the confused look on Dawn’s face was reflecting in the librarian’s eyes. Suddenly Katherine was looking sympathetic, almost as if she embarked on a subject far too complex for poor little Dawn. “But that’s a lot of tough stuff to remember, huh?” she quickly pepped up her voice. “You wanna keep looking for a story?” It was an unexpected detour that left Dawn feeling oddly clueless. It was the first time something in this dimension had intellectually stumped her, other than that stupid bread tie thing from that one morning… Obviously if she tried hard enough, she could figure it out, though. This sequence series stuff, that is. The bread tie too, of course… “I guess, yeah,” Dawn nodded, and was given the privilege of trying to seek out more books. And as They searched, more so Katherine skimming, peeking at the multi-digit code on each one, disapproving of each one someway and somehow, the Little in her arms was starting to fidget. As more time went on without a result, the girl was feeling more and more anxious “Don’t you guys sort by those codes, or something? Is it really just sorted by random?” “Some libraries do that,” Katherine answered while she filtered through book after book, “but that’s what all our special helpers are for!” she looked up to the ceiling, and by coincidence one of the drones was quietly sliding by on its rails. “It’s a little tricky for us to remember, but these guys can remember where each and every book is, and they remember that long line of letters, too! Soon though we will be organizing our books like that,” she chuckled, “but it’s a lot of books to move around!” After enough time Dawn was losing hope that there’d be anything Katherine might approve of, and that was only adding to her worries about Amazon books altogether. Was it just a bad section? It had to be! It’s not like Amazon teens and preteens went straight into text about murder, politics, and sex? “Mmm…oh! This one looks good!” “What? What is it?” Dawn, not even paying attention anymore finally glanced down at the book she was holding. “This is an older one…” Katherine passively mentioned, finally skimming through the actual text. It was all ink-letter print; some offshoot of Times New Roman. Times New Amazon? Just maybe. Either way it was just like Dawn expected, and she wanted to consume it so badly. “Helmsman of the East…” she commented curiously, looking the front and back over. “Can I read it now?” Dawn asked. The title alone was enough to send prickles up her spine. It sounded like an actual title. No signs about learning to like diapers, Littles learning to love their new “families,” or anything as disgusting of the sort. Just an unbiased, normal story, and Katherine could actually be the very reason she could escape from that. “In a minute, honey,” Katherine said, and Dawn watched the book disappear in the diaper bag. “You’re getting a little squirmy; time for a change!” she announced in a sing-song voice, and the accused tried not to blush, hoping the aisle was empty. The slightest perk to Katherine working here was having a full understanding everywhere everything was, and that included bathrooms. Once they entered the long bathroom, every step and click from Katherine’s heels was like a punch to her gut, skipping each and every bathroom stall on their way to a station not equipped to deal with the urgency of bodily needs, but only the aftermath of it. “W-wait!” Dawn whispered nervously, and Katherine cocked her head. “What’s wrong?” “It’s…it’s not…! It’s not private…!” It didn’t sound like anyone was in there with them, but what was to stop someone from walking in? A plastic foldable table bolted into the wall hung on the far end wall, right next to the mirror lining a long row of sinks. The only thing that would be keeping her from the public eye was Katherine herself. All it took was the right angle though from an all-encompassing mirror… “No one’s here now, sweetie, it’ll be fine.” “B-but what if somebody walks in?!” The argument didn’t stop Katherine from unfolding the table. “Then that means they need to use the potty too?” Use it too? Katherine could be so innocent and so nonchalant, yet somehow be just as insulting at the same time. Dawn used the bathroom just like every other Amazon, only in a completely different way. Christ, she didn’t even get to use it, she was the one being used. “Please, then just let me change myself! I’ll be quick!” “Dawn…” There wasn’t even a debate this time, just a soft warning from Katherine that just may have reminded the Little how that went last time. The devastation from not even being able to take off her own diaper. “W-wait, I don’t, I don’t need the–!” And the strap went on. “Shh,” Katherine soothed, brushing her shoulder. “It’s just so I can be quick, okay?” “So you mean I’d just get in the way?” Admittedly, there was a small amount of hurt, but mostly pissy attitude, and not including the diaper. “No, you do not get in the way,” Katherine was quick to correct, “But I can be super fast all on my own! And…off we go!” Her shoes quickly popped off after the laces were undone, and Dawn tried pressing her knees together to stop it, but the diaper bulk between them prevented her from stopping Katherine’s quest to take off her pants. “Please…just hurry…!” Dawn begged with her eyes shut, flinching as each tape ripped and popped. And then, if it couldn’t have been any more emotionally overwhelming, her toes hiding in her socks curled the moment she heard the front door open. She wanted to mindlessly beg Katherine to do something. Anything. Hell, exercise her authority as an employee to kick the stranger out. But she was too embarrassed, too mortified to do even that. The cool air on her crotch was suddenly the paralyzing chill, even if Katherine’s shadow was hiding her from the rest of the room. In a perfect world it would have been someone just going to use a stall. If only the world was perfect, though. So instead, a girl, or a mini woman was tearfully whining instead, “Mommy…!” “I know, baby, shh… Be patient, okay? We’ll change you right after they’re done, okay?” “Sorry!” Katherine, the social butterfly she was of course, had to acknowledge the people behind her, and Dawn stared up at the high, high ceiling trying to do nothing else but disassociate from reality just to hide herself away. It didn’t matter if she wasn’t being seen right now. Someone was waiting on them, waiting to use this exact changing table. Whoever it was, they would without a doubt see Dawn on their way out. They would know that it was Dawn just getting her bare ass wiped and her privates rubbed down with baby powder. They’d know that the crinkling diaper they heard unfold would be around Dawn’s hips. “Hm?” The Amazon behind them made a noise. “Oh? Oh! No, no!” she laughed, and Dawn watched Katherine’s head up above turn so that they could converse, and somehow it didn’t impede the diapering process by much. “Please, take your time!” “I promise we’ll be done soon!” Katherine lightheartedly apologized anyway, and Dawn felt no need to contribute. “Mommy…!” The girl complained again. Just maybe, what if she could be an actual baby? An Amazon-born one? Not one just picked up off the streets? It would have been nice to know this casual chatter wasn’t so morbidly fucked like every other Amazon, but by the same token, it’d make Dawn feel even worse. What a thought: she was laying in the same place that not only babified Littles got changed, but actual babies too. What made her any different from them? “Uh-oh, cranky?” Katherine laughed. “Cranky…” the other mommy agreed with a sigh. “Nothing we’re not used to, though.” And then in a not so quiet whisper she said, “She gets like this whenever she makes a stinky!” “Awh…poor thing!” She said it right as Dawn felt her thumbs smoothen out the freshly applied adhesives. A new prison for her posterior. After her pants went on, the strap was undone and she was lifted up. Dawn’s head was perched over her shoulder, forced to come face to face with the mother and mind-fucked behind them. Some random person in glasses with what looked like a laptop carrier hanging over her shoulder, paired with a much more bright and green diaper bag to boot, all the while held at her hip…? The sulking, grumpy girl’s face then lit up like the sun once she saw the fellow Little. “DAWN!” the voice shrieked, and collectively all three other folks in the room winced, albeit Dawn a bit more. “Kailey!” the Amazon holding her scolded the girl, only in a much more level voice. “What did we say about shouting inside?” “But! But she’s my friend!” Kailey, the same girl in the dress and yellow sandals from before; frog-lover Kailey, pointed squarely at Dawn. The mommy blinked in surprise, so did Dawn, and especially Katherine. “What? What are you talking about?” Kailey’s guardian gave her an off look, then said to Katherine. “I’m sorry…she’s a bit energetic…” “No, that’s fine!” Katherine laughed, though she sounded a bit confused as well. “Do you know her, Dawn?” and with her own charge held against her hip, Dawn was bounced like a physical cue to have her chime in. All Kailey did then was giggle and wave, and the smell was finally starting to catch up to Dawn. Not her own clean backside, but the one that was still in need of it… “...Y-yeah, we met.” “We’re friends!” Kailey, sounding not very helpful, added to it. Dawn never once remembered becoming friends, more so just this girl forcing herself into an acquaintanceship. Then the girl gasped again, pointing at Katherine this time. “Do you talk to the robots?!” Unless Katherine had some extra job Dawn didn’t know about, that was simply incorrect. She fixed them and performed maintenance. Robots didn’t talk, and even this dimension didn’t seem to have that. It was impossible. And yet in a shocking turn of events, “That’s right!” Katherine smiled, and Dawn gave her a weird look. The answer made Kailey squeal while the Amazon holding her only looked more and more apologetic. “Oh, wait–!” The other Amazon scrunched her face like she was filtering out a memory. “That’s right!” she laughed. “My daughter was saying something like that when I picked her up. She did say she met somebody at the daycare!” And finally acknowledging the Little herself, she smiled as she asked, “Your name must be Dawn?” Daycare? Dawn flinched, resolving it as just a generalization. She did not do daycares, so that was simply impossible. It was the Little Learning Corner, and nothing else. “Yes…I’m Dawn.” Katherine was quiet up until that point, looking from one person to another, only finally jumping in now. “You know my– you know Dawn? She made a friend?” No, she did not. Dawn did not make a friend…! “We sat at story time!” Kailey proudly reminisced like it was meeting a soul mate, only that one of them had ever felt the magic. “I think I was the first one to drop someone off,” Katherine explained, “I work here, so I can’t bring her in any later.” “Ahh!” The woman nodded like the final piece of the puzzle had been found. “I think I remember being in second place, actually!” she laughed. “Oh! And sorry, I don’t have any manners!” Maybe that’s why Kailey didn’t have any either… Ew, low blow. Suddenly Dawn was hit with internal guilt for kicking someone that was already down… So far down. “My name’s Sandra?” the Amazon offered a hand, and Katherine reciprocated. “Katherine. So nice to meet you! I can’t say I keep track of regulars, but do you come here often?” “Not too much, no,” Sandra shook her head. “I just needed to do some research on a drug for my work, and Kailey here was being a little fussy; didn’t wanna dump that on the folks at her usual daycare…!” And the pair shared a motherly laugh, one that Dawn wished Katherine couldn’t participate in. “Yeah? Well she seems like a real sweetheart to me?” Katherine complimented with a grin right at the girl, suddenly going from bold and brave to shy and demure. “A little time with me is usually enough to mellow her out. Well, that and clean diapers.” And just so Dawn wasn’t a decoration as much as Kailey, feeling the need to differentiate, she said to Katherine, “She’s a doctor.” The one other thing she remembered from talking to Kailey. “Oh wow!” Katherine marveled, and Sandra grinned with a crease in her brow. “Do you work at one of the nearby hospitals?” Suddenly the woman was laughing. “Ugh, please…!” Sandra groaned, giving her charge a playfully stern look. “I swear, behind my back Kailey tells everyone she sees that I’m some kind of superhero… I’m just a boring old pharmacist!” A pharmacist. Not a doctor. Dawn had vouched for her, and now she looked just as silly as Kailey, spurring along tall tales and make-believe. Meanwhile, Kailey the culprit simply looked distracted trying to simultaneously follow the conversation and dangle her foot around the edge of Sandra’s sweater jacket. “Awh, don’t act like that!” Katherine laughed, “She’s just proud that her Mommy does something so exciting!” “Mm, well…” the woman chuckled, “As cute as she is, she really knows how to inflate an ego…! Sometimes I wonder just who her actual mommy is! I wish I was a doctor! Just like talking to robots, huh?” “Right?” More shared laughs, more discomfort from Dawn. But the novelty was finally gone for poor Kailey, back to whining with a full diaper now everyone could certainly smell. “Oh, gosh!” Katherine gasped, stepping aside and hooking Dawn’s sneakers off the table with her free hand. “Sorry! All yours!” “Sorry you had to smell mine!” Sandra stepped forward and down Kailey went. “If I had known she was gonna do this, I would have picked her up a little bit later…” “Nothing we’re not used to,” Katherine dropped on a dime, spilling more secrets between her and Dawn like they were free samples. Her cheeks were hot and embarrassed, but at least they were stepping away, thank God. “Nice meeting you!” Katherine waved, and Sandra stuck a hand up from the operating table. “Likewise!” And suddenly Dawn was breathing fresh air again back outside. “Dawn…!” A disappointed voice was suddenly closing in on her. “You never said anything about making a friend!” “Wh-what?” Dawn stammered right back. “I…no, I didn’t. She’s the one that Dayna forced to come over to me? We…we barely even talked.” “She seemed nice, though? Her mommy, too?” Her “mommy,” the pharmacist, not actual doctor “mommy.” Dawn frankly wanted nothing to do with them, but forgoing the route of saying something mean or rude, meekly shrugged. Katherine tucked her mouth into her cheek right back, making a small, pensive look. “Well…okay. My break is just about over, sweetie. Ready to go back?” “Go…back? Where?” “Back with Dayna?” Katherine turned her head. “Wh…what? Why? You came and picked me up, though!” Was this a joke? Didn’t she set her free for a reason? “Dawn, that was just for lunch? It’s not that much longer?” “N-no! Please! Don’t make me go back!” It was an immediate plea. She knew the mess she had caused and the fire she started. If Dayna was vengeful, what if she tried to get back at her for being such a disruption? Was she going to be fair? What if she was like Stacy? Treating Littles like kids all up until they were an adult nuisance, and only then did they dish out cruel treatment. “Dawn…I can’t. Please don’t be upset?” “Wh…why though? I won’t bother you! Can’t you just let me sit with you, or something? A-at a desk? I’ll be quiet! Just don’t bring me back! I don’t want to go!” “Why not, honey?” “Because Dayna! What if she tries to do something to me?” “What do you think she’s going to do?” The look on the Amazons face communicated that she hardly understood what Dawn was getting at. Like any clueless parent, she was just trying to figure out what irrational boogie man was inside her head. “I…I don’t know? Just…something! I made her mad! If she does something to me, I can’t fight back, and you won’t be there! I’m…I’m scared!” It was the truth, and the thought of being delivered right back into the den made her clutch Katherine’s shirt. “Please…! Please don’t make me…!” “Dawn…” Katherine exhaled sadly, and Dawn was nearly quivering from understanding what that implied. There was no alternative, no other answer. She was going back and would be left at the mercy of a stranger she’d started and ended on the wrong foot with. And so they walked, embarking on Dawn’s departure to deathrow. She couldn’t watch. How could she witness her own demise? Keeping her head down, she sulked, not even trying to beg as Katherine’s mind had been made. She likely chalked it all up to babyish behavior blown out of proportion, and that ultimately the grownups knew better. Maybe it was all Dawn’s fault though. Maybe if she had fallen in line there would be the worries or fears of what was to undoubtedly come. She dug her own grave and now all she had to do was lay down and be buried. It was inevitable, and the thought of seeing Dayna again made her heart ache to a point that didn’t even feel right. Why was she scared? She shouldn’t be! She didn’t even do anything that bad…! Kids act up all the time, don’t they? Wasn’t that all Dawn was to her too? So she’d be let off lightly, right? Right? “Excuse me?” Dawn went limp when Katherine spoke up. They were back, weren’t they? Time for dropoff. Back to the internment camp. “Hey, Katherine, have a good lunch?” Wait, that wasn’t Dayna. It sounded like…Grace, was her name? “Oh? Bring back a little snack with you?” “Kind of,” Katherine chuckled, but started to whisper. “Do…do you think you could do me a favor? Dawn’s feeling a little groggy right now… It’s either take her back to Dayna and put her down for a nap, or keep her nearby while she does it. She’s being a bit clingy though,” and there was a soft pat on her padded bottom to boot. “Would you mind if she napped here while we run the front desk?” She…she didn’t take me back to Dayna? Was she covering for me? Actually? “Yeah, sure, that’s fine,” Grace agreed nonchalantly, and Dawn was ready to squeal a bit herself about Katherine’s best friend, and now Dawn’s. “I’m fine with it, but are you okay if someone else sees?” “I’m gonna give her a corner under the desk…” Katherine explained, though she didn’t sound so keen about it either. “I’m glad I packed her a pillow and blanket though.” “So now’s her usual nap time?” Hardly. Never was nap time because naps didn’t happen for Dawn. “Working on it,” Katherine said as they sat down in an adjacent chair. “It was either gonna happen now or start on the car ride home… But you’re sure you don’t mind?” “Yeah, no biggie for me. I wouldn’t try to let anyone else see, though. Awh, she asleep already?” “She’s definitely tired,” Katherine hiked her up some, and Dawn kept her eyes shut, opting for as much believability as she could. If Katherine was giving her a way out, Dawn was finally going to cooperate. “From the sound of it she’s been drinking juice all day and I just fed her some lunch… Sorry, could you hand me that jacket from the diaper bag?” “Sure…” Dawn quietly listened to the rummaging. “This one?” “Perfect,” Katherine took it and did something close to the floor. “And down we go…” And down Dawn did go. Right on the somewhat hard floor, but she was cushioned by a thin layer of material underneath. Katherine’s jacket, apparently. But her head did get a pillow. Did Katherine really pack something like that? Was she really planning on a nap? Dawn stretched her legs, remembering her lack of shoes, and suddenly that question felt a little bit more answered. This really was premeditated? “Dawn?” A soft voice whispered into her ear. “Not a peep, okay? Naptime, understood?” She had half a mind to ask if she could read that book, but Dawn wasn’t looking to earn herself a trip back to jail. “Mhm…” Dawn murmured back. Fine. The next best thing to reading really was sleep. No expectations to do anything but keep to herself. For once she would concede to a nap, only because it suited her wants and nothing more. It wasn’t giving in or being obedient, but instead furthering her own interests. Call it a low blow though, one Dawn couldn’t react to without making a scene, but with her eyes closed and unable to anticipate what might come next, she had no way of dodging the silent peck on her cheek. “Sleep tight…!” Katherine softly whispered, and Dawn tried to not make a face, pretending even to Katherine that she was already out like a light. The desk hanging over her was like a pseudo artificial darkness, offering a good amount of shade just to simulate the darkness. It was enough if she turned the other way to face the wall of the desk. But this was it. All she had to do was close her eyes, and just maybe, hopefully, once she opened them the day would be over. The library will have been conquered and triumphed, and she will have survived. A…victory?

Please Read this before reading that! Hi everyone! This has been a busy year for me that's led to a lot of inactivity as far as the DD board goes. I've been neglecting a public release schedule that I've promised before, and I plan on making good on that now. I'm sure many of you have heard about many creators from this community losing their Patreons, and I wasn't an exception. The situation sucks, but I'm working on putting things back together. That includes a new Subscribestar which is live now with all the latest chapters of Sheltered and Illegal Immigrant. Slowly moving forward I'll be reuploading previously lost content and stories alongside new stuff that will be coming in more regularly. If you are a previous patron and want to know where I am now, that's where I'll be! There is a public post on that page which goes into a little more detail about everything and my plans moving forward, but regarding here on the board, I'm planning to return to a regular release schedule. With that included, I have Patreon stories that I've featured on here in an incomplete state; I'll be trying to find those and post the remaining halves since it has been quite some time now. But for starters, please enjoy two chapters from Sheltered and Illegal Immigrant. I never imagined myself reaching quite this point as being a creative with diaper stuff, but to everyone that reads or plays my stuff and in some way is entertained by it, has thoughtful feedback, comments or considerations, thank you! Maybe in a way this reset will get me back into some better habits. As per usual, please stay tuned, and consider dropping by the Subscribestar! Thank you! Also, I'm making space for some short-story commissions at $15/1000words (10k words or less) if you're interested! For those who have discussed and we've agreed upon commissions prior, yours will not be affected. Admittedly this is a way to recoup missed opportunities given the circumstances. But aside from all that, please read and enjoy! 46 - First day on the Job “And you’re not forgetting anything?” Joyce warned her one last time. They stood on the final frontier; the point of no return. “No, I’m not…” Emily tried not to sound pensive, folding her hands in her lap. Why was she nervous? Ugh, it’s because Joyce was making her nervous! “Did you bring your phone? I wanna call you at lunch.” Joyce explained, then blurted out right after, “–But don’t think that means you can’t call me any sooner, okay?” “Joyce, aren’t you overreacting?” “Overreacting?” Had she not been sitting, Joyce would’ve taken a step back in shock. “Emily, it’s your first day! I want to make sure you have everything you need!” “And I do…” Emily puffed her cheek as she glanced at her side. Her arm and wrist were covered by sleek and puffy coat material. Pastel blue, because even in her everyday wardrobe now the colors were getting more and more livelier. One second she was hearing the cars and traffic nearby, but the next was a loud zipper traveling up her front. “Joyce! Stop!” “It’s gonna be cold, Emily! Don’t you wanna stay warm?” “You’re worrying too much…!” Emily pouted, but even she couldn’t deny the humor, especially when Joyce could get so “serious” like this. “The door is right there!” And she leaned out from her seat just to let her finger travel across Joyce’s lap and out the window, right on the other side of the sidewalk. Joyce turned her head to follow, showing her face again with a much more conflicted expression. “W-well…what if the wind gets really strong once you get out?” And all Emily did was sigh as she pulled down the zipper enough to free her face. “It’s not gonna be that bad…” “Urgh…I know,” Joyce grumbled, too disappointed with how the world worked and how little she could do (but of course, doing so “little” was a personal assessment by Joyce). Then with a hopeful smile, she asked, “Did you wanna bring Pip with you?” Instantly Emily’s head whipped and spun on a swivel, taking a second for the same motion to reach the ends of her hair. She turned and latched her hands on the corner of her seat like a gargoyle perching on the edge of a building. “Joyce! You didn’t actually bring him!” Emily cried in nothing short of embarrassment. Her first guess was to look in the back seats where contraband and stowaways were the easiest to hide, but thankfully they were empty. “Th…that one was a joke,” Joyce gave it up quickly, though she tried not to giggle with a hand covering her face. “Does that mean you would’ve wanted me to?” “No,” Emily pouted, “it doesn’t.” Then she settled back into her seat. The car was parked and wouldn’t be going anywhere. Not until Emily got out. “...Now you’re making me nervous…” A comforting hand dropped on her thigh. “Don’t be…it’s just the mommy in me?” Joyce gave her an apologetic look, but all Emily could see was the emptiness in her partner’s eyes. There was no mommy hiding inside of her because it was already out and about, worn on her sleeve like a badge. She’d already taken out all the tools from her shed and was tinkering with her little project like always. “You’re gonna do great. You’re gonna have fun, and then you’re gonna tell me all about it tonight. Understood?” “Mhm…” Emily nodded, tightening her grip and filling the car with a crinkle. And quite surprisingly, the noise almost made Joyce wince. It was far from the crinkles she liked to hear. While it came from her little girl’s lap, she was unfortunately out of diapers today and back to playing pretend grownup. The crinkle coming from her lap was a folded paper bag filled with only the finest cuisine to tide Emily over at lunch time. The crude, last-minute solution they had to use because Emily refused to bring anything else. “You know…” Joyce side-eyed the paper bag in her lap and hands, “we can still pick out a nice lunch box after work today?” “I said I didn’t need one…!” Emily groaned right back, remembering the “argument” they already had about this multiple times already. Frankly, bringing homemade lunch to work was somewhat of a novel concept to the girl. More often than not it’d been finding someplace nearby to eat outside the office; a time that felt like a millennia ago. “Why? Do you think it’s embarrassing?” Joyce was quick to the point when she asked. “N–…yes. A little…” Emily admitted bashfully. The last time she had a lunch box was when she was in elementary school. The only association she had was from being in the fourth grade with a small meal prepared the night before by her mom. She remembered the zippered lid, the ice packs her dad always kept in the freezer, and the slight bit of condensation that always lined the pouch when she opened it up. Since Emily was putting herself out on a limb, it was one of the few times when Joyce didn’t completely devour her. “Em, adults use them all the time? They make ones without designs on them, you know?” And Joyce was hating herself every second for suggesting it. A lunch box without a cute look to it? If only Emily had a favorite cartoon…! Dreams were often easily forgotten, but even with a slight blur Joyce could recall the “Day-One Daycare” dream. Such a good one, too. If only this Emily could be just as excited about it… But that was the challenge, and of course the real Emily was always the best. “I know they do, I’m just being…weird. I haven’t used one since I was a kid, so…yeah.” “Mmhm,” Joyce nodded understandingly, though that didn’t make her look at the paper bag with any less disdain. It was like a personal stain on her record as a mother. As Emily’s mommy. The looks she would get. The stares. The judgment. Her ability to care for her baby would be called into question, and the anxiety would eat the woman away because she would doubt herself too… Just like she was doubting herself now. Be forceful? Buy her one anyway? Then Emily would be upset…but how upset? The kind that she’d easily forgive and forget? Ugh! Balancing the grownup and toddler inside Emily was always so difficult… Though, only with time had she been slowly nurturing and caring for that smaller voice inside her partner’s head. Ironically, the baby in Emily’s brain was growing up. That was always exciting to think about. Little by little, slowly but surely, another side of Emily was becoming more and more prominent. But again, Joyce wasn’t malicious, nor was she cunning with any ill-intent. It was all a natural progression with just a little guidance… This was all a product from mutual hard work, and to even have these “difficult” discussions and think that these sorts of things were just a testament to what things were like now. Every day was a gift, and every exhaustion, crying fit, problem, trial or tribulation was only possible because they’d come so far. And so much further they could go… And by the time Joyce was done appreciating the moment, her lips were pulling back from Emily’s. “Don’t be so self-conscious, okay?” The energy had clearly shifted, now after a kiss Emily could see the soft and tender look on her girlfriend’s face. Something clearly must have struck a chord for her, and that always tempered Emily awfully fast. “I know…thank you.” “No, thank you,” Joyce smiled, and it finally gave her the strength to undo her seatbelt. “Can I give you a hug on the sidewalk?” And yet she didn’t feel the need to ask for permission to kiss. That contradiction didn’t go over Emily’s head and she burst out laughing. “That’s what you ask permission for? Yes, you can.” A few seconds later both women were by the car, embracing each other like it was the last time they’d see each other again. “...Shouldn’t you hurry?” Emily worriedly asked, pressed against her partner’s bosom. “I feel bad you’re going in late today…” “Emily,” Joyce scoffed, rolling her eyes. “This is obviously more important than that.” And on a similar note that she would not be sharing, Joyce shuddered when it crossed her mind. Knowing Sheila a bit better now… She’d likely even understand… “Have fun today, okay?” Joyce reminded her, and Emily didn’t look too pleased to hear the encouragement. “It’s work, Joyce, I’m not here to play!” Emily stressed, but even she had her initial doubts. She just wanted it to be what she’d been searching for this whole time. But by the fact of how supportive Joyce was being right now, the truth was obvious. Joyce was clear already that she didn’t like Emily’s relationship with work, or at least in searching for it. If they found a medium that made Emily feel productive and put Joyce at ease, maybe it wasn’t actual work at all. But then again, maybe it wasn’t an actual job that Emily needed… Regardless, this was temporary, and Emily in the back of her mind was still coaching herself to keep pumping out applications. Without a doubt she would be going right back to it. Even if Joyce felt differently… “Okay, then how about this: have a good day?” “Mmm… Okay, that one works,” Emily nodded with approval, and Joyce laughed, hugging her tighter. “You know, I could always just pay you to be my pretty office decoration?” “Yeah, but then I’d have to live in your office all the time?” “Emily, I own the company…I’m allowed to take things from my office back home.” “But what if you forgot me one time?” “I wouldn’t.” “But what if you did?” “I wouldn’t because I won’t forget.” “But what if–!” “Okay,” Joyce in a much more stand-offish attitude lightly shoved Emily back like she was leftover lunch, and Emily couldn’t stop giggling. “Nuh-uh. I’m done with you. Go! Shoo!” And despite the laughing, Joyce played the part of the disinterested by crossing her arms and turning the other cheek. It’s exactly why she was nearly thrown off balance when Emily collided with her again. “Sorry!” Emily giggled, squeezing her all over again. “Wanted one last hug.” Joyce hugged back, but finally let her go. “Okay, and for real this time: have a good day!” She gave her a small wave while watching her charge walk just a short distance over to the brick steps of a familiar store. “Bye!” Emily waved again, opening up the door with a jingling bell. “Tell Amy I said hi!” Then the door closed and Emily was gone. Finally alone, the goosebumps and the butterflies were sprouting in full force. If she didn’t get back in the car, poor Joyce would’ve been pacing. Her first day…her first day…! Joyce’s lips quivered, tightening her grip on the wheel with no clear sense of self. It wasn’t like daycare, unfortunately, but how couldn’t she be proud…?! Emily. Her Emily was starting her first day of work! And an emotionally frustrated whine took the sound of her car’s silent ignition. “Today better go by quick…!” Emily waited long enough to turn and look out the front store display to see that Joyce had left. It was silly, but the absence hit her with a strange sense of loneliness, like she really had just been dropped off for the day. A whole day away from home, without Joyce, and in a not so familiar place with a fresh face that likely had more than the bare minimum expectations Joyce always kept for her. But those same standards were being kept with Emily and held against Amy, who was characteristically not at the front of her own business. “Amy?” Emily called out somewhat quietly. What if she had someone with her in the back of the store? That’s what she did for all of her clients, right? Joyce was one of hers…and come to think of it, Emily was too. Though, she didn’t quite handle any of the actual business that had to do with herself. She turned her head around, almost expecting a scare to sneak up on her, but there wasn’t anything. This was feeling eerily similar like the first time Joyce brought her here, only now it was just Emily to figure out the mystery. Should I call Joyce…? Wait! What?! What was she thinking? Why did Joyce have to fix her problems? Who even said there was one? It was just an assumption; one that Emily out of reflex didn’t even try to solve herself. Awkwardly, she walked behind the front desk, almost expecting some kind of alarm to go off, but either Amy wasn’t paying for upkeep on her security system, or it was all just part of Emily’s imagination. Either way, the only noise was from her own footsteps and bagged lunch slipping deeper into the domain. And just in case if the universe still needed justification for her bold behavior, the girl muttered quietly, “I do work here after all…” Sort of, at least. The questionable employee peeked inside the workshop, dressing and display room. The sofas were empty, a nearby table with pins, threads and tiny cushions looked busy, but ultimately unattended. The multi-tiered stage surrounded by mirrors had no doll to debut clothes, and frankly the store was feeling quite empty. “How does she just leave this place unlocked…?” Emily found herself making comments again, mindlessly tidying a small pile of sketch papers. It was a messy workshop, but Emily could only guess that there was a method to the madness. She peered up and around at the wood panel ceilings, only then seeing the one truly spotless place in the room that she herself sure wasn’t one to talk. Emily made messes too, only that she had a mommy to clean them up for her. “Amy?” Emily called with another sigh, finally making for the stairs up to her apartment. Keeping her manners first, she knocked on the front door, waiting patiently by its side. Then…she knocked again. And…again. “Come on…” with a tinge of impatience, Emily went for the handle and turned. And all forms of security and privacy be damned, this door had been left unlocked too. It was the same, cleanly and modest industrial apartment she remembered from the first time. The same couch where she waited for Joyce and Amy to talk business downstairs… But finally, after wandering from the entrance, through the store and finally to the proprietor’s very home, Emily was finally greeted. The uncertainty fizzled a tiny bit and her frown perked into a cute smile. With a sparkle in her eyes, Emily cooed out, “Ashes!” Obviously it wasn’t Amy, and obviously Emily would have to keep searching, but that didn’t change that she was suddenly catching up with an old friend. The black ball of fur was patrolling on the square of countertop in the open kitchen, meowing as his pursuit was instant. His gait was sly and smooth and despite the speed his paws moved with grace! From off the counter he hit a chair, and from the chair and onto the floor. With no more jumps needing to be taken, the cat wasted no time in strutting right on over to the girl. Emily dropped to her feet, already pleased to be remembered so fondly. Even in her jeans she could feel his body brush against her legs, clearly working hard to cast a new coat of cat on her to reclaim ownership. Joyce just couldn’t win… “Did you miss me?” She giggled as she held out her hand and Ashes walked right through it from head to tail, arching his back just to feel it brush his body all over. He purred while she pet, and the reunion was sweet and refreshing. “Ashes, do you know where Amy is?” Yes, it was silly to ask a cat that sort of thing, but it was even sillier to think your stuffed animals could be as jealous as your girlfriend. Ashes didn’t speak human tongue, but at least he was something animate and sentient. But instead of a verbal answer, the only thing Emily got was a wiggle from his tail. Though, while Ashes didn’t have anything to say, now when she stopped for a second, Emily could hear a distant noise… Like a rhythmic repetition. “It’s not my fault if she didn’t meet me at the entrance, right?” Emily asked Ashes, and thank goodness the silence didn’t mean no. After one last pet Emily rose to her feet and that sent Ashes pacing circles around her like a shark in the water. Though once she started moving, suddenly he had become her personal escort, taking to her side the whole trip down the hallway, venturing closer to the mysterious noise. She stopped short of a seemingly normal, inconspicuous door. But alas, if her personal secrets taught her anything, that meant anything seemingly normal could lead to the farthest things from it. So instead she knocked this time. “Amy?” Emily called as she knocked, waiting for an answer. Nothing, but the noise was certainly behind this door. She looked down at Ashes who was already looking up at her, giving the feline friend a “what gives?” kind of face. “It’s not my fault if she’s not gonna listen…! Amy!” Emily raised her voice, knocking louder again. And finally, something changed. The noise a second later had stopped, then finally she heard naked feet moving across the floor. Closer and closer…right until–! The door swung open and Emily reflexively took a step back, face to face with her person that she was supposed to meet. “Oh, Emily!” Amy blinked then smiled. Her hair was pulled back into a bun with a pair of headphones resting around her neck. She smiled, but then frowned as her eyes looked like they were trying to see her own thoughts. “Wait…oh, wait,” she looked up and down, recalling where they were and where they were meeting right then. “Oh shoot! What time is it? Agh…! Sorry! Really sorry! I was supposed to be waiting for you downstairs!” “Uhm…it’s okay, I just…wasn’t sure if I should come up here or not.” “No, no!” Amy waved her off dismissively. “It’s good that you did. I usually listen to music while I work… Sorry I didn’t hear you knock at all. Uhm…” she pursed her lips as with her body taking up the doorway, she peered back into the room behind her. “Think you could give me a sec?” she gave an apologetic smile. “I’ve got uh…top secret stuff. Just lemme go hide it, kay?” “K…ay…?” Emily repeated, and her own awkwardness didn’t impact Amy’s delight. “Thanks! See Ashes already found you!” she laughed, then shut the door again. Both pets standing in the hallway exchanged another wordless look with each other. But turning on her shoe, Emily with her escort walked back down the hall. It may have been making use of an expired offer, but Emily sat down on Amy’s couch with a stiff posture, holding her hands on her knees while she waited. With enough space between her backside and the couch, it left ample room for Ashes like any other cat to make surgical and affectionate movements by creeping behind her just to sit on her right side. “Why do you like me so much…?” Emily wondered with a grin, petting the cat some more. At least with Joyce Emily could try and ask her questions, even if she didn’t always fully understand the answer. Maybe the magic in that mystery made it all seem unconditional. Fitting for a mommy, but perplexing for a cat she’d only met on a few occasions. An affinity for pets, perhaps? “Sorry, sorry!” Amy returned with the same energy Emily always seemed to know her for. She was short of her headphones and just in some loose pants and a long sleeve shirt. “Were you waiting long? Not just now, but like,” she twirled her finger in the air, “since you got here?” “No…not too long,” Emily shook her head. “Do you really keep all your doors unlocked though?” “No, not usually!” Amy pleaded for mercy as she excused herself to the kitchen. “I knew you were coming, so I left things unlocked just in case…” she explained over the noise of her fridge filling a glass with water. “I know, it’s bad. I’m scrambled enough to forget to keep track of the time, but reasonable enough to keep from having you locked out… So…?” She shifted her tone and hung her head over the window looking into both rooms. “How’ve ya been?” “I’ve been…good,” Emily answered, though in a very delicate manner. She was brave enough to have done what she did when she called Amy the first time, dressing in Joyce’s clothes, but she sure didn’t want to share it. In fact, it felt like there was a whole lot of her life that was just off limits to conversation topics now. Every talking point now somehow involved her in diapers with Joyce… Maybe if she just skirted some of the unnecessary details… “Hmm?” Amy hummed curiously, but kept a knowing look on her face. “Yeah? That’s good. How about Joyce? Has she been busy or are you two up to stuff regularly?” Stuff? What did she mean by stuff? Was she implying…? Or was it just a normal kind of “stuff?” “She’s been…good. U-us too, yeah. Yeah…” “Would it be easier if I talked about myself?” Amy politely asked, and as shameful as it was, Emily had an appreciative look. So right after laughing, Amy took the lead. “I always seem to be working on something! But it’s the good kind of busy. Lots of different things people want, so, you know, gets the creative juices flowing and stuff.” Emily found herself asking, “Do you take breaks?” “Sometimes!” Amy groaned with a stretch leaning from side to side. “I take the usual holidays off, but other times I might take an unscheduled sorta thing. Can’t say I go far though,” she pointed her finger right at Emily, or rather, the animal right next to her. “Got my hands full with that little guy.” Emily nodded, petting the cat again. “Thanks again so much for agreeing to help me out, by the way! Having the occasional assistant is a huge help for me,” and then she caught Emily right before she could interject, “--even if that assistant can’t sew!” “Yeah, of course,” Emily smiled, but the awkwardness didn’t subside. Does she even really need my help? This isn’t even a job-job…it’s just to keep me busy… Did Joyce ask her to do this? Was this all some big plan just to get me out of the house? “Oh!” Amy stammered, and Emily blinked back in surprise. “What’re you still doing with your jacket on?” She walked over immediately, beckoning with her hands as a sign for Emily to disrobe. “Be comfy, okay? Not like there’s a dress code, or anything…” and suddenly a second set of hands was taking the jacket off her, and Emily watched her deposit it on one of the few hooks still empty by the door. “Shoes too!” she barked without even needing to turn, and with a jolt Emily was already fidgeting with her laces. Apparently Amy put the “Fuck that!“ in formal. “Is this your lunch?” Amy was already picking the bag up off the floor. “W-wait, I can get that!” Emily reached for the bag, but she was too late. Maybe if she could’ve kept her mouth shut it wouldn’t have happened, but the urgency must have compelled Amy to look. She lifted the bag just a bit higher, softening her look once she saw it. “D’awh…!” Amy fawned at the seemingly normal paper bag, then kept leaning out just to see the look on poor bashful Emily’s face. “Did Joyce write this? Does she always do stuff like this?” “N-no…” It wasn’t even the right word, but for lack of a better one given how embarrassed Emily was suddenly feeling, Joyce had exacted her revenge on being denied a dedicated lunch box for her girl. “How else are we gonna know which lunch is yours?” Joyce said in a not so distant memory. “Guess we’ll know which is yours,” Amy chuckled, and Emily wanted to go back into hiding. On the front of her bag, illustrated in thick black marker was a large heart with Emily’s name, all in big capital letters scribbled right on it. Maybe I should have just turned the bag inside out… “Does it need to be refrigerated?” Amy asked as she was already taking it away. “Yes please… Only if you have the space…?” “Yes, I have the space! Emily, don’t be so stiff! Can I get you something to drink? Sit back on the couch some more!” “Sorry…” Emily muttered as she did as she was told and “got comfortable.” “Don’t apologize either,” Amy said as she shut the fridge door. “So how’d you get here?” “Joyce dropped me off… I feel bad because she’s going in late today because of me.” An alternative could have easily been worked out, especially just either from taking the train or a bus; something Emily in a pre-Joyce era wasn’t a stranger to. This wasn’t even considering being a burden to Joyce’s chauffeur. “Well I think she wouldn’t have if it would’ve actually been a problem, Emily,” Amy said as she forced a glass of water into Emily’s hands. And having an unfortunate track record with open cups on solfas, Emily was quick to stand up with her drink, wandering over to one of the bar stools. “You don’t work on weekends, do you?” Emily asked after sipping her water. “Mmm…well,” Amy’s eyes started to dramatically drift, “If it tends to be something fun, I can sort of be a slave to it… It’s kinda like a fifty-fifty.” “Is it okay for me to ask what you were working on in there?” Emily pointed past her shoulder and at the door just a little bit further down the hall. “Sure, you can ask,” Amy smiled, then smirked, “but that doesn’t mean I have to answer? Top secret is top secret, unfortunately. More importantly, it’s still a bit early, isn’t it? Did you have breakfast already?” she pulled back and turned in place, surveying her kitchen like it was her first time seeing it. “We…have…stuff. Mm, yeah. We have stuff if you’re hungry. Want anything?” “No, that’s fine,” Emily politely refused. “Uhm…Joyce already made me something.” “Oh yeah? Is she a good cook?” “Yeah, she’s honestly really good… She’s really amazing at everything she does, it feels like.” In spite of her flaws, those felt like the only pesky little technicalities that kept her girlfriend from seeming like genuine perfection. Maybe that was just the love talking, though. “Oh,” Amy suddenly scoffed, and Emily gave her a weird look. “Hm? Oh! No, definitely, Joyce is an awesome person. Buuut…” Amy started, then pursed her lips. “Actually, never mind!” Emily raised an eyebrow. “What? But what?” She was a gullible and innocent type of girl, hence why she could be baited so easily. Well, that may have been describing her to an extreme, but Joyce had certainly gaslighted her into being one. “Truth be told,” Amy laughed apologetically, “Joyce already gave me a preemptive talking to… Something about not telling you details about her.” “What? She didn’t!” Emily suddenly retorted, and her boss giggled. “She did, I swear!” Amy said, and while she didn’t know, the whole reason for the restriction was all in part to Emily’s curiosity and Sheila’s unexpectedly loose lips. “So sorry, nothing specific about the J-word.” “Really?” Emily asked again, but was already frowning. There wasn’t anything against Amy, of course, but it’d become yet another interaction filled with redactions by someone not even present to be censoring things live. “Really,” Amy confirmed, “really…ish.” “-ish?” Emily squinted just so she could read better in between the lines. “-ish as in: keep chatting me up and yeah I’ll probably let something slip,” Amy shrugged like it was something simply inevitable. Emily was certainly here to work and get things done, but she’d be lying if she said that Amy’s casual approach wasn’t comforting. All the same though, it was wearing down any sense of officiality that this got together may have had. Shifting topics, Emily asked, “So if I’m gonna help clean up, you mean your workshop downstairs?” “The workshop? Oh, the studio?” Amy clarified. “That sounds like a great idea, actually! Would it work for you if I showed you what you could sort downstairs, then I come back up here to finish some work?” “Top secret stuff?” “Super top secret,” Amy nodded affirmatively like her life depended on it. “Don’t worry though, once I finish up what I need to on an order, I’ll come down and work with ya. Makes it easier to chat that way. You can give me dirt on Joyce while you’re at it, too.” “You want me to give up secrets on Joyce?” “Of course! Just because I’m not supposed to talk about her, doesn’t mean you can’t? Unless…did she give you a gag order too?” “No, she didn’t,” Emily grinned, suddenly learning just all the mischief Amy seemed to have. “But actually, would you rather I waited to start…? I don’t wanna take your workspace from you.” Was it the reason why she was working out of a room in her apartment this morning? Because she planned on Emily coming over? “You’re not taking up my workspace, though?” The confusion wasn’t exclusive, but soon it was once Amy struck something inside her head. “Actually, guess I never told you or Joyce. Downstairs is kinda just the dressing-slash-studio area. I use that to let clients try their stuff on in-house where I can get feedback pretty quickly. Up here in my apartment is where I really get work done. Actually, we took your measurements downstairs that one time, didn’t me?” “Uh…yeah, we did…” Emily answered much more weakly once the memory hit her in full. It was the first time they had met and all three of them were in the back room. It was the same day Joyce wanted to run some “errands” and that was the last one of the day. Errands were all well and good, however what wasn’t was when Joyce was pushing the envelope on things. All she remembered about her clothes was that they were snug and one of her first dreaded diapers was hiding underneath… And just seeing Amy from across the kitchen window made her feel squeamish just remembering how close this woman was against her in one of her most vulnerable moments. Her padded rump contributed to those very numbers she’d been measuring and could have skewed her sizes… But they didn’t. They didn’t because she had worn something made by Amy before and it fit her perfectly. In other words, Amy knew about the diaper factor, and that was either because Joyce had told her or it was easy enough to determine that herself. Was it because of that day Amy had started to know? Or was it something else? Coincidence? Bad luck, or calculated plans? She was peppy, cheery and funny; all the things that made it so difficult to read any kind of ulterior thoughts and feelings. It made Emily want to ask, but she didn’t. She couldn’t. It was a double-edged sword. Just to satisfy the morbid curiosity she could learn to ignore, she’d be throwing the spotlight on something so touchy all over again. And when her back was turned, Emily gave Amy another judgmental look. This was the first time with each other alone and she was as lax as could be; like it was just another day with another friend. How could she just do that? Unbeknownst to Emily, Joyce often felt conflicted by the same exact things… “Ready to take a trip downstairs?” Amy asked. “Sure…oh, I can take care of that?” Emily reached for her own cup as Amy took it away. “Don’t worry, I’m closer, anyway!” “Okay… Thanks.” “No problem! If there’s anything you want, just let me know, okay? Or you can get it yourself, if you’re feeling brave,” Amy chuckled, and Emily smiled back. “Wait, what happens if someone comes to the store when you’re upstairs?” It was an important question as they were headed down the stairs. “Mmm, that shouldn’t happen. No one’s scheduled to come in earlier today. Just in case though, shoot me a text or give me a call, kay? I can take care of it from there. Either way, it shouldn’t come to that!” “Mhm…” and Emily hoped the same. She didn’t like the idea of dealing with people on day one, especially in a role that felt as formless as a block of untouched clay. Where was the training? The orientation? She really was just coming over to a friend’s house…except without all the experience as friends…and she was getting paid. How much, she had no idea, but nor was she planning on asking. Being paid to stay busy in general right now was technically what she’d been looking for, and given how pseudo supportive Joyce had been, it probably wouldn’t end well if Emily outright refused. Not that she wanted to. “Didn’t you say you needed me to try on some stuff for you?” Emily added as she watched Amy tidy up stray ends of her messes. “Yyyyes! Yes, I did. That’s actually what I’m gonna bring down later. Oh–” and Amy turned her head to follow something around the room, casting a scowl. “Don’t suppose you mind company?” “Hm?” Emily asked but was answered by a purring head rubbing against her again. “Ashes? S-sorry…” She apologized, and her four-pawed friend didn’t seem to mind much when she lifted him, gently holding his hanging body against hers. “I didn’t close the door; do you want me to bring him back up?” “Believe me, I love him, but he’s always playing with my fabrics! I swear, he does it just because he knows it bothers me…!” and Amy made sure to give her seemingly innocent pet a death stare. “But nah,” she smiled again, “he can stay down here since there’s no customers. If you get tired of him though, just lock him back upstairs. So, that means best behavior, got it?” Amy warned her cat, and all Ashes did was meow right back. With an understanding probably having been reached, Emily set the cat back down, leading him to quietly slip away, always hanging nearby and in sight. Amy’s gaze followed her pet with the same playful disdain she always seemed to have for him. “Y’know, maybe I can convince you two to babysit him just so I can go on a real vacation…” “Really?” Emily asked honestly, and Amy laughed. Amy chuckled, sounding like she wasn’t quite serious until Emily. “Yeah? I’m sure he’d be low maintenance around you two. Whenever Joyce comes by he always wants to play with her.” “Really? Does Joyce like pets?” It never quite crossed Emily’s mind. They didn’t talk about that much, if at all. “She seems like it…but, I don’t think she’s super keen on having one permanently.” “What’d she say?” “Mmm…I’m gonna leave it at that,” Amy deflected, looking like she was reminiscing on a sweet memory. “However! Joyce likes cute things. That’s your little factoid for the hour.” “So that means you’re gonna tell me more?” “That means my head is gonna be on a stake if I tell you too much. Gosh, you really don’t know how scary your girlfriend can be, you know?” “Yes I do!” Emily quipped back with a laugh. And going for a case and point, Emily started to say, “Like a few weeks ago, Joyce went to this investor thing, and she left the nurs–” and as fast as she fell into the story the realization hit her like a brick wall. Her eyes went wide and the panic was immediate. In her haste to contribute to the conversation and share a story she’d gone out on a limb she wasn’t supposed to. The room was quiet, and Emily was afraid to look at Amy head on. Did she notice what she was about to say, or was she just confused? Was it obvious that Emily messed up? Was she just going to let it go? “Yeah? What about your nursery?” The word was used and a sentence was finished, but it didn’t come from Emily. It didn’t come from Ashes, either. It came from the one other person privy not only to Emily’s diapers, but apparently her nursery now, too. If Amy didn’t know about it before, Emily clearly tipped off to it now. Emily balled her hand as she crookedly straightened out, glancing up at Amy who looked just as interested and curious like it was any other conversation topic. She wasn’t seething with judgment, strangeness or disgust. Just simple, transparent interest. Like any good listener would be. “Uh-uhm…nevermind…” Emily retreated with a quiet voice, but the attitude Amy had didn’t shift. “Okay,” Amy shrugged with a smile, acting like they’d just been talking about the weather, or something equally normal or socially acceptable. Did…did she even realize what she just said? She used the N-word! Nursery! Was that lingo for a workshop or something in the seamstress world, or did she actually know? She had to…she’s seen Emily in a diaper before…! “Want me to show you the best spots to start?” Amy didn’t skip a beat in asking the next question, moving on like they hadn’t hit a single bump. Carrying the conversation and keeping the rhythm as always. “Sure…” Emily agreed and followed her over to some shelves in the wall, now coming off as much more self-conscious. “So…it’s a lot of bits and bobs. Like,” Amy looked around the immediate space. “A lot. You can use these if you want,” she pulled out plastic drawer after drawer, showing and explaining where most stuff once was, and probably should still be. “And don’t worry about those high shelves…!” Amy groaned as she stretched on her toes, failing to reach as a live example. “I gotta get on a chair for those…” And another fun piece of information that Emily didn’t get to know: Joyce would kill Amy if Emily had to be in a high place… “So yeah? Just try to piece things out and maybe just sort what seems like they should go together. Anything’s better than what I have now, honestly.” “Uhm…okay, sure. Yeah, I can do that,” Emily nodded, and Amy smiled appreciatively. “Great! I’ll try to hurry up and finish upstairs so we can get started on some things down here. Remember: call me if you need me, and kick this guy out if he gets too annoying.” After one more nod, Emily let Amy leave, focusing herself on the mess Amy had left her to work on. “Oh, and Emily?” She turned her head, finding Amy crouched on the final step. “With everything I’ve done with Joyce, I don’t mind chatting about stuff like that?” And just in case there was room for misunderstanding, “Now you’ve got me all curious about the nursery!” she grinned and laughed. “Promise I’m good for venting, so if ya feel like it, chat away!” Then she left, and Emily stood by herself, feeling her anxieties stalking her from the high shelves out of reach. “How…” Emily whispered, “how can she just say it so easily…?” Talking was difficult. Very difficult. Good thing she didn’t have to do that now, though. The only conversation she had to have was one with Ashes, remembering to pet and pamper him and his fur every moment or so while she became engrossed in a therapeutic deep clean. Working for the woman holding second place in the diaper-spotting contest… And just as casual about it, apparently… “Thank you for moving my meetings up, Sheila…” Joyce dropped the passing remark as she walked by her employee’s station and into her office. “Of course, Ms. Summers,” Sheila answered on her tail with a bundle of papers in hand. “Do you want to hear what you have today?” “...Sure,” Joyce answered as she took her seat behind the desk. “There was an earlier brief this morning on adjusting the amount of volume we’re producing for ventilators… After that you were scheduled to take a look at a few internal reports, but that can be done at any point this week…” Sheila rambled and listed, but Joyce was already staring off in space. “Ms. Summers?” “H-hm?” Joyce’s head perked up and the finger leaning against her temple fell back on the polished wood. “Yes?” “Do you need me to repeat any of that?” “...No. A volume report, right? Just give me some advance before it’s time for that… Is there something I can do from my computer?” Work was stupid. Make no mistake, Joyce liked it, and sometimes even loved it. She absolutely did, but not as much as she loved Emily. She loved her so much that any new situation for her girlfriend was just secondhand shakes and worries for the supposedly dominant one in the relationship. Joyce could be fragile when Emily was, and at least to her attentive, snooping secretary the signs were just as obvious. “Is everything okay, Ms. Summers?” Sheila asked, but naturally a whirlwind of thoughts were going through her head. Not only for whether things were truly fine, but also what might be causing it… For starters, it wasn’t hard to imagine that coming in late today was part of the equation. “Everything’s fine, it’s just…” Just…nothing. “Nevermind.” There was no change in the look her secretary was giving her, but Joyce knew immediately she had already given her more than enough crumbs to work with. How was she supposed to hide secrets from someone she had to work so closely with? From the person responsible for managing her entire day? In order to separate Sheila from what she partially slipped herself into, it required Joyce to impede what was her very job. How ironic. How difficult. And in Sheila’s shoes, she was deep in thought. Crunching numbers and considering alternatives, but every simulation seemed to end in upsetting her boss… Sheila remembered their meeting after her night with Emily quite vividly. It was a clear sign she had crossed a line, both because she overstepped her bounds and her boss had already been pushing her in that direction. A mutual making of the circumstances, but it was what it was. And Sheila had been forthright and honest to a fault. There would be no more lies, no more secrets or absences of truth, and that started with confessing her interest and love for what happened with Emily. How much fun it was, how nostalgic. It was being just as honest when she also said that she didn’t quite understand why, or to what degree and what she liked particularly. It was shameful, but she wanted more. Another chance to experience what she had yet to fully grasp. It was a poor analogy, and a bit cheesy, but she needed more experience. More data? A conclusion couldn’t be reached quite yet, but she wanted another chance… So she looked at her boss quietly, wondering if something like that was even remotely possible anymore. “Okay,” Sheila nodded, letting it stay at that. “Should I bring you something to drink?” “Please.” And Sheila was gone. And Joyce was working, or at least trying to. Too busy thinking about Emily with a head stuffed full of worries, excitement and thoughts she couldn’t even begin to vent. Like many other times it was distracting, and even if she didn’t vent about it normally, just knowing she had to walk on eggshells around Sheila now was what made it that much more difficult. It was simply knowing that she couldn’t talk about it. But it was for the best… It was separating the spheres that mattered. It wasn’t fair to involve Sheila if Joyce was just going to get upset all over again… Lord, she hadn’t even told Emily the full extent yet… So distracting… So distracting… But as conflicted as she felt, it didn’t stop the passage of time. Like all plans though, most seemed to fall through. She had a chance to call Emily during lunch, but it wasn’t long. Of no fault of Sheila’s, but a shifted schedule meant less time to eat and less time to chat. Past the midday, however, what was peculiar was a phone call again from Emily, and so soon? “Emily?” Joyce answered the phone mid-walk down one of the halls of the building. “Hi Joyce…” “What?” Joyce was cradling the phone with both hands. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” “Yeah…” Emily murmured, sounding awfully reserved. “Uhm…can I ask you something?” “Of course you can?” “Can…can I wear a diaper?” 47 - Lunch “Pins should go…” One turn. Two turns. Negative half a turn, and she found the bin. “There.” Sifting through the little things was obviously the biggest problem. In trying to sort and clean through Amy’s workspace, it gave the clueless girl an awful lot of insight into the job of a seamstress, and possibly someone that just lacked organization. To the best of Emily’s knowledge Amy didn’t own a dog, but if she did, a rainbow-colored husky could have very well been the breed. Stringy strands of different colored thread were just about everywhere. God forbid her understanding of the craft was far too shallow, Emily stuck the miscellaneous of the miscellaneous in a different bin conveniently located right next to the waste basket. There were random buttons that seemed missing from a pair or set, but unlike socks at least they had enough individual character to possibly be deemed worthwhile. Hence why Emily had a separate tub just for that, too. After the initial mess was gone, to the untrained eye at a distance, you’d might think Amy’s display room was actually clean. Far from it, however, once you took a fine-toothed comb to it. Or specifically once you had Emily on her hands and knees looking underneath the couch. “How does this get down here…?” She looked down at a spool still thick with unused thread and added it to the rest of the pile. Accumulated messes meant over time the most bizarre things could wind up in the most random places. And as Emily walked around in her thin and flimsy socks, she was hoping dearly that with each logistical failure she found that Amy was at least professional enough to never leave a sewing needle out on the floor… Only halfway through the cleaning though did a simple yet strange thought pop into her head. When was the last time I saw a mess…? It was a broad question to ask with likely a thousand different ways to shoot it down, but thankfully in just the company of herself (and Ashes), she only had to deal with a biased critic. Just about nothing ever seemed to spiral out of control, as of late. When blankets, sheets and comforters got rustled, nine times out of ten Joyce had them straightened out at some point in the day. Emily helped too, but management seemed to be very strict about her doing much of anything other than recreational activities. Such as…playing with toys, or getting handsy with her mommy. But even the toys. Re-learning how to enjoy handheld things that weren’t electronic, or at least didn’t have a digital screen was embarrassingly a novel concept for the modern-age girl. She’d play with Pip, drag him around from one room to another in the apartment, sometimes bring a bottle with her too, but also forget it in other places. Sometimes she may have forgotten Pip too… Emily could leave small messes quite often, but Joyce moved like the wind in her wake to take care of it. And to repeat, it wasn’t like this for a lack of trying. Emily was discouraged from helping clean up. From cleaning up her toys, cleaning her own face, or…actually, on the topic of…not clean, even her own diapers… Maybe that was it? Joyce just liked cleaning? Did that explain why she wanted to be a mommy? And while Emily missed the mark on her thought exercise, she petted her assistant who had yet to contribute anything to the effort other than meows and demands for more affection. Who would ever want someone like that? Emily kept petting the cat anyways, possibly just so she didn’t read into the thought too much. “I wonder what her actual workshop room is like upstairs…” Emily mused, nearly straddling the top of the same couch Ashes was resting on. Then she stroked his fur some more, getting a tad bit distracted. “I wonder if we’d ever get a pet…?” Maybe. Maybe not. Emily wasn’t even sure how Joyce felt about pets, though if personal experience was any indication of anything, she sure was good at taking care of stuff… I wouldn’t want her being the only person who takes care of them, though… Case and point, Emily was certainly a good pet petter. A single finger for chin scratches could make Ashes pur like an engine. But maybe Joyce didn’t want a pet? After all, she essentially had one already. A bubbly, blushing, embarrassed pet that helped out on rare occasion. I’m not a pet… “Emily? You down there?” And she may have sprung off the furniture in a totally not cat-like fashion. “Y-yeah!” the startled employee called up to the banister. The wooden steps whispered tiny creaks and squeaks with each foot dropping by a level. Amy was hunched over, leaning her head into the room with pure awe and an open smile. “Woow! Look at this place!” her head kept turning until it finally ended on Emily with her hands sandwiched between her legs. “It’s almost like I never even touched it!” And while Emily smiled appreciatively, Amy had no qualms in laughing at her own expense. “You did such a great job!” Amy said it again, and it was another pleasant tickle for the girl. “Thank you…but uhm, I still need to organize a few more things…and I didn’t fully check over–” “Oh, that’s fine, it’s fine! You don’t need to do that now,” she shrugged it off. “I wasn’t keeping track of the time; it’s just about time for lunch, isn’t it? Wanna come upstairs and eat?” Was it really that time already? Sure enough, a glance at her phone was indicating a time just shy of noon. Time really did fly by… “Er…” Amy interrupted with an exaggerated worry, “Please come upstairs and eat?” Then her eyes darted around, looking for the bugs or plants that were assuredly listening in on their most secret of conversations. In a not so whisper she said, “Joyce said I should make sure you’re free soon to call her…” “O-oh,” Emily stammered back, remembering what Joyce had asked her to do earlier that morning. Call her during lunch. They talked about that in the car, so… “W-wait, Joyce told you that?” “You work for a very strict union, Emily! Now scooch!” Amy paced around surprise and shock personified and was the caboose kicking the locomotive into motion. Then like an afterthought, showing affectionate disinterest like her partner in crime did the same for her, she glanced back at Ashes. “Oh, and I suppose you’ve earned a break too, freeloader.” And after a dramatic stretch the cat hopped from its pedestal to the floor. “Do…do you always talk to him like that?” Emily half-stumbled up the steps, watching for the cat that assuredly followed. “Do I sound crazy?” Amy laughed as she brought up the rear. “It’s either that or I start talking to my mannequins, but at least Ashes is alive!” Then with reluctant honesty, each word from Emily was another step down the slope of decibels, flattening out into an almost muted whisper. “No, I mean…I…kind of do it…too…” “Hm? Oh yeah? Who’s your sound board?” “Huh? I guess it’d be…–! It’s Ashes! I mean, I was doing the same thing with Ashes…” Was it really lying if she bounced from one truth to another? Poor Pip. If only the world was ready for their relationship. It was on the straight and narrow from then on to the second story, watching the door ahead like nothing mattered. Just as Emily crossed the threshold a light brush on her back sent her through. “One chickling…” Amy sang, then hung by the doorway, waiting for the last soldier to scurry in, “Two…” Then with a soft click the door was closed. “Okay. Lunch time,” she clapped her hands and departed for the kitchen. “Oh, if you’d prefer to watch something while you eat, feel free to turn on the TV. After you call Joyce?” and Amy gave her the kind of look any expectant mother might. Thank goodness she was just an employer, though. And before the phone could touch Emily’s ear Ashes was meowing, ever so impatiently at his owner. “Shut it, I'm working on it!” the proprietor complained all the way to the pantry. One buzz… Two buzz– And not a third. Instead Emily had the misfortune of dialing the wrong number out of her contacts list. Rather than her mommy elsewhere in the city, sitting in her skyscraper office ready to eat right around the same time, it was instead a prim, prip and posh female fellow warmly receiving the other end of the line. “And to whom is this that I have the utmost pleasure of speaking with?” But alas, there was no danger afoot, as Emily was well-trained in the art of stranger danger. “Sorry, wrong number!” “Wait–” Too late. Bye-bye. “Wasn’t Joyce?” Amy asked on the trip back with a large bag of pet food in her arms. “Nope,” Emily shook her head and swung her legs off the bar stool. “It was.” “It was?” she cocked her head up over the pouring bag. “So then why’d you…?” Then Emily’s hands got the jitters, but not from nerves this time; technological vibrations. The phone had to have been cursed. There was simply no other explanation. Radioactive? Haunted? Those kinds of bomb defusals weren’t her wheelhouse, so with caution she held out the phone far away and made for a blind swipe with her finger on the screen. “Emily Sen!” A stern tone erupted from the speakers, and even without the mode in effect Amy had heard enough to laugh. “Emily, you didn’t!” Amy as a new spectator was equal parts shocked and amused, and having a supporter made the culprit grin sheepishly herself. “Joyce? Hello?” she choked down a laugh. “Did you just hang up on me, missy?” Joyce, a woman that when she sneezed wiped her nose with millions and could make the world move on a whim, had finally met her match; a tricksy little girl who thought herself apparently untouchable just because they weren’t in the same room. “NoOOo…” Emily exaggerated, just as poorly as Joyce did her impression. “Someone else picked up the phone!” “That so? Guess that means my voice must’ve been that good!” Certainly. If Joyce didn’t make it as an entrepreneur, at least by Emily’s story time standards she’d be a shoe-in as a voice actress. Come to think of it, Joyce would be great at a lot of different things… “Buut… Next time you hang up on me, you’re gonna make me sad. Understood?” “Gotcha,” Emily giggled, and her girlfriend was a bit toothy herself on the other end. “Are you on your lunch break now?” “Getting to the end of it, actually,” Joyce sighed, staring down her digital clock at the corner of her desk like it was evil incarnate. “Should I have called sooner?” “No, you called at just the right time,” Joyce opted for a not so honest answer. The last fifteen minutes had actually been spent drawing circles with her finger in her binder, hoping the stars would somehow align before time ran out, and thankfully they did. “So? How’s your first day?” “It’s been fine, but I can talk about that stuff at home. How’s your day?” “Boring,” Joyce flatly answered. And very busy. Who knew coming into work late meant a compressed schedule? “And yes, but you can also talk about it now?” Hiding her enthusiasm around Emily was a sport she was more than happy to lose at. “Soo, what have you been doing?” “Cleaning, sorta,” Emily shrugged, even if the gesture didn’t quite translate over the phone. “Amy said she was gonna have me help her with what she really needed later, so it’s probably gonna be after lunch. You know that room she took us to? Behind the front desk? She’s having me organize that.” “Well that’s nice of you to do!” Joyce beamed, and Emily as appreciative as she was, embarrassingly side-stepped the comment. “I mean, I guess, but she’s paying me…” “True,” Joyce admitted, “but still doesn’t mean I can’t be proud of you!” “Oh, and Ashes was downstairs with me too, so I had some company.” Very unhelpful company. “Well that’s nice; I think he plays favorites with Amy, though. She always says that he tries to give her the cold shoulder when someone he likes shows up,” she laughed, thinking of all the times he’d be nuzzled right against her leg, purring so sweetly. “He’s a nice cat, though,” Emily started to spin in her seat. “But really, is today just boring?” Her partner’s lips popped from the other end. “Unfortunately, it just is! More importantly though,” seemingly important, Joyce’s tone lowered an octave and the matronly might became heavy. “And Emily Sen, do not lie to me, understood?” Emily knew that voice. That horrible, worrywart-inducing voice. Instantly it was a moment of self-reflection. The girl’s mind raced from cabinet to cabinet inside her head, searching for the one, itty-bitty piece of incrimination; something she had done to warrant the scolding she was just about to get. But she couldn’t think of anything and the search was fruitless. What could she want? “Did you climb up on anything today?” And suddenly her big ball of panic popped like a balloon. “Joyce!” Emily whined, losing her composure with her back to the stage, leaving Amy to quietly watch with a speculating grin. “Wh-what are you talking about?!” “Is that your way of telling me you do?” “No! I didn’t!” she cried into the phone, cognizant enough to process the embarrassment, but not to remember who was listening in on her pout. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t!” “Oh yes it absolutely does. Emily, I said I didn’t want you climbing in the kitchen before, didn’t I?” “Y–!” she was about to agree, but for once she could see the tripwire lying in wait. “That…that was different! That was when I…” Finally, her memory kicked in and her audience was acknowledged. Her rage sputtered out into a quiet ember as she whispered into the phone, “I thought that was different…?” Hopefully it wasn’t vague enough, coupled with that the only real secret they ever tried to keep had to do with diapers. Joyce made rules during baby time, so seeing them flare up during grownup days was certainly alarming. “Emily, no.” And Joyce leaned out from her seat, looking for a silhouette that wasn’t there on the other side of her foggy glass door. It’d become an opportune moment so she rose from her chair, pacing around the office. “Rules like that are to keep you safe and from getting hurt. No diapers is no excuse to put yourself in dangerous situations. Do I make myself clear?” Were they really doing this now? Emily tried to stay inconspicuous, turning her head just slightly to see if Amy was hopefully distracted. She saw a phone in her hand and her eyes on it. Perfect! Amy was distracted. “Joyce…” she started up again, wary of her words, and jealous that by the sound of it Joyce didn’t have to be. “I’m fine, okay? I don’t need those kinds of rules when I’m like…this…” And it was the pushback. The tiny, itty-bitty retaliations that tickled Joyce so sweetly. Danger was danger and her fear was real, but discussions like these always made her giddy. How couldn’t mothers not love it when their kids throw a tantrum? The indignance, the back-talking, and rebellion. It was a chance for their kid to make their opposition clear, and by the same token it was the perfect moment for the parent to make a crushing, iron-willed teaching moment. “Emily?” Joyce’s voice was patient, but the expectation for a response was thick and heavy. And while she waited with her loving intensity, she peeked outside her office one last time, making sure there was absolute secrecy. And Emily, with her sixth sense finally active and detecting the shitstorm she just waltzed herself into, delicately slipped off the stool and nervously walked herself away to Amy’s couch. “Yes…?” It’s too fun getting to come up with this stuff… “Who wears the big girl pants?” Big girl…? And let it be Emily’s one and only allowed moment of weakness, but her eyes as if needing a second opinion other than her own sanity slowly glanced down at herself. “Me…?” “Nuh-uh. Try again.” “Us…both?” “Halfway there!” Joyce praised the answer, yet patronizingly beckoned for more. “Come on, sweetie, who?” “...You?” “Ah-huh, that’s right. Mommy wears the big girl pants, and that means Mommy makes the decisions. And because I do, you need to understand that I don’t make those decisions lightly, okay?” “Joyce…” Emily leaned from side to side, dearly hoping that Amy was really invested in something interesting on her phone… Emily in a hushed voice tried to rush the conversation along, “Can’t we talk about this later? I get it, okay? I understand…” And all she got in response was more syrup and sugar, making her feel smaller and smaller with each passing syllable. “I know you do, baby, but I also know that sometimes you need reminders?” Maybe she didn’t, but Joyce certainly needed recharges like this. Who was this really for? “But, okay, I think I’ve made my point. But Emily, who makes the rules?” Every question was like pulling a tooth, assuming the feeling was hardstuck and difficult, but erupted in a euphoric feeling. So probably not quite like pulling a tooth… “...You do…” “Mhm,” and by the tone of her hum, Emily could practically hear the solemn, motherly nod happening at the same time. “And who’s job is it to follow them?” “...Mine…” They were in separate rooms and separate buildings, but even that sense of distance didn’t seem to add any more slack to the emotional and mental harness Joyce had her strapped in. “Good. Very good!” Joyce beamed, then chuckled, as if the harbinger to announce that all was well and peppy again. “Okay, go eat your lunch now, alright? And make sure to have a good rest of your day!” If it was within the means of being a Mommy, Joyce was scarily adept at flipping her mood switches. Emily was still trying to come off the headspace she’d just been forced into, but was stable enough to close out the conversation. “Okay…” Emily exhaled quietly, “Mhm. You too.” “And Emily?” Oh no. More? “Yeah?” And then a quiet hum started, growing and growing in noise and joy as Joyce made a happy cheer. All courtesy of a private office on an executive floor. “Mommy loves you soooo much!” “J-Joyce, are you actually at work?” Emily couldn’t hide the concern given how liberal her partner was being. Was there really no one around to hear this? And all Joyce did was laugh. “Yes, would you believe it, I am! Now I’ll say it again since you didn’t say anything back; Mommy loves you!” And just like the first, Emily was glad she was sitting to hear it. The mantra made her legs weak with joy. To consider how warped she was to be so happy over such a little thing had a hand to her head like she was ready to catch the loose parts ready to fall out of her ear. “I love you too…” “Mwah!” Joyce kissed into the speaker. “Bye-bye!” And they hung up. It was like returning to another dimension once she put down the phone. Emily looked around the open apartment like she’d forgotten where she was. Another second gave her time to remember that it wasn’t her home. She was working, with Amy, and it was time for lunch. The atmosphere was cooling down and she had a look to keep up. A persona to maintain. Something with a semblance of maturity and composure just long enough until Joyce came and picked her…– “Emily?” Amy made a small wave from the kitchen. “Still want lunch?” “Y-yes, please,” and Emily with a half-broken mind was back on her feet and rushing over. “Sorry about that…” “Sorry about what?” Amy chuckled and motioned for Emily to sit. “Thank goodness you called Joyce; she probably would’ve thought that I was slave-driving you, or something. You really have no clue how scary she can be–!” then with a self-disgusted gasp Amy clamped down on her own mouth. “See!?” she giggled, setting Emily’s bagged lunch down. “I told you stuff like that was gonna slip! And I hereby use my unlimited ‘Please don’t tell her I said that’ pass for the first time!” “Okay, okay, sure,” Emily laughed right back and finally went into her lunch. “So, she make you anything good?” “Don’t know,” didn’t know what it was, but knew it’d probably be good, “she made it early this morning so I didn’t get to see.” “Gosh, she keeps everything a secret, doesn’t she?” and Amy watched for the reveal, perching her chin on her knuckles. Until the secret was no more. Before her was a hearty spread. A ripe banana, a cup of yogurt, sandwich, and a thermos. Though, when she wrapped her digits around the metal it didn’t feel warm. A drink? “Oh wow, that looks good, huh?” Amy remarked as she turned away. “Here, lemme get you a plate to eat that on…” “That’s fine, you don’t need to…” Emily insisted as she shuffled her lunch around, finding even a small stack of complimentary napkins as well. On top of a plastic spoon, Joyce really did think of everything… “Emily, quit being such a stranger!” Amy chuckled with a firm quip, and dishware clattered until a wide black saucer was placed in front of the girl. “And also, keeps crumbs off the counter.” Finally though she bit the bullet and ceased her complaining. “Thank you,” Emily settled and set her food on a new foundation. “I’ll make sure to wash it when I’m done.” “And you shall do no such thing,” Amy’s eyes rolled with a smirk. “Either I’m gonna clean it, or my dishwasher will, and you are neither of those things,” she enunciated with a fat finger. “You’re gonna eat, enjoy yourself, chat with me a little, then we’re gonna go downstairs, work some more, and chit-chat the whole time. Do I make myself clear?” The talking-to was swift and unexpected, leaving Emily in a daze that felt eerily nostalgic from just minutes prior. For a moment she was back to being in an obedient and attentive place, but only after Amy cocked her head did Emily snap out of it. “O-okay, yeah… Thank you,” Emily finally accepted with a smile, then slightly sunk her head while she fumbled with the top of the cyan thermos. “Good,” Amy didn’t seem deterred, then made the short trip back to the island where her food was. “So was Joyce on lunch too?” “Yeah, I think so,” the girl with her dedicated sandwich container said as she pried off the lid. “I think she was busy, though…all because she took me here today.” “Well if she is, I highly doubt she’d be surprised,” Amy shrugged. “She knew what she was getting into, Emily. Obviously you matter more than a tighter schedule?” It felt awfully narcissistic to agree to a comment about herself, so Emily didn’t say much of anything to that. Instead she was reflecting on all the ways she’d been a bother today. Making Joyce get up earlier than usual just to make her lunch, making her even more busy at work just to drive her around, and effectively killing whatever attempt Amy made at trying to be friendly simply because she couldn’t disassociate from all the baby brain Joyce was infecting her with. “Amy? Uhm…sorry, by the way…” “Sorry for what?” Here she was, apologizing for something she couldn’t even put into exact words. And yet, Amy undoubtedly knew it, and obviously Emily too, and yet the girl had hardly the courage or want to mention any of it in specifics. “Just being…” her hands had fallen into her lap where her thumbs could mingle. “Reserved, and stuff? I’m just…” she sighed, “I’m being weird.” “Yeah, you are,” Amy agreed, shoving Ashes off the counter and from her food at the same time. Cue the annoyed meow, and promptly ignored. “But it’s not like I wasn’t expecting that,” she chuckled. “Emily, I’m not gonna force you to talk about anything, but it’s the baby stuff, right?” Again, her words were like ripping off a bandage, and to that point Emily nearly flinched. But slowly, she nodded remorsefully. “I just want you to know it’s not like a taboo or anything, with me. If you’d like though I could be honest with you. Joyce pays for it, but I’m still kind of your seamstress, and all…” She let that sink in, staring Emily in the eyes, then sinking down to her lower half hiding on the other side of the counter. “Emily, need I remind you that the day we met I was taking your measurements when you were in a diaper?” And what was thought to be a national secret was apparently public information. Emily’s eyes were as wide as her plate with a frightened gasp. “Y-you knew?!” “Your clothes fit, don’t they?” And Amy watched with a hand on the counter as Emily couldn’t keep her mouth closed, slowly slipping out of reality. She knew that Amy knew about the diapers. It was obvious. She could have found out a million different ways, and yet…but…! “Emily, you-houu? Hey?” A pat on the shoulder was what roped the girl back in. “I know about the diapers. I know about the clothes, because hey, I made them? The nursery,” possibly because somebody admitted to it… “and how much Joyce cares about you, too. I’m not saying this stuff to hold anything over your head, hon, but I’m trying to make a point that there’s no real secret between us?” “B-but…” But what? But nothing! She knew. Obviously. Of course. The reserved attitude, the anxiousness, all of it today had just been formality, especially with how forthcoming Amy had been. She was standing at the halfway point since the day started, patiently waiting for Emily to finally open up about what she already had an understanding of. It was just being polite and maintaining formality. “Look, we’re friends, aren’t we?” Amy stood back with her hands still glued on the marble top, smiling warmly. Friends? Wasn’t she friends with Joyce, though? Kids weren’t friends with their mommy’s…– Lord, how bad was Emily? More aptly, wasn’t it weird to be friends with your girlfriend’s commissioned seamstress? Sure, maybe, but wasn’t it also weird for them to know about the diapers you wore, the nursery you had, and all the big baby clothes you needed too? Absolutely. Relatively speaking, friendship was the lowest in the pecking order. By monumental magnitudes. “No?” Amy grinned, letting enough silence go by. “We’re not?” “We are!” Emily stammered, then quickly settled herself back in. “I just…how can you talk about it so easily?” “Because I am who I am?” Amy gave another clueless shrug. “Emily, I love making clothes for you. The cute ones, specifically,” she pointedly corrected. “If you asked me why, all I’d say is because I like cute things? I don’t know? Making them for an adult is just a…really cute juxtaposition,” she pinched her chin while she thought about it. “Point is, I like it, and that’s all there is to it. You wear diapers,” and Emily really did flinch that time, “and that’s also all there is to it, too? There’s a reason, I’m sure, but I don’t care, and you don’t need to either. I hope that I’ve made it clear already, but just so there’s no misunderstandings: Emily, you’re into baby stuff and that’s fine. I am too. So let’s not put up any walls around us because you’re nervous about spilling any secrets, okay? So who is it you talk to other than Ashes? Who, a stuffed animal?” “N-no!” “Ah! See?” Amy accused her with a finger, “No lying,” with a playful finger she sliced her own neck. “Who is it?” And finally with her back against a wall, Emily bit her lip and made a nervous leap of faith. “...P…Pip. It’s Pip.” It was supposed to be a gateway into a relaxed discussion, yet Amy drilled further like it was an interrogation. “What animal are they? Do they stay at home?” “He’s…not an animal. He’s stuffed mochi. And yes, he stays at home.” “Mhm?” Amy nodded attentively. “Wait,”she had a double take, “Mochi? What’s that?” “It’s like a dessert, so it’s not really an animal…” “Do you play with him?” “Not…not completely…” “But a little?” “No, not a little.” “Not a lot?” “No, not a lot.” Emily shook her head skeptically. Didn’t they start with that? “Well what do you do with him?” “I dunno? I just…bring him into other rooms, and stuff.” Why did she even want to know? “Here,” and in the midst of the questionnaire, Amy had Emily’s yogurt in her hand, peeling off the foily top. “Have that while we talk.” And Emily, the demure and domesticated, actually accepted it. “So you take him with you around the house? That sounds like playing to me?” “How? I just…use him like a pillow, and stuff.” “So cuddles?” Amy clarified, like she was about to pull out a dictionary. “Sorry, Em,” she gave her a hopeless look, “sounds like playing to me.” “Wh-what does it matter if I play with him, or not?” “That’s the whole point,” Amy frowned right before grinning, “it doesn’t.” It didn’t matter who or what Emily played with. It didn’t matter what she did, what she wore or how she acted. Amy was clear from the start that she didn’t care to the point of foregoing all judgment completely. She made it clear that she was interested and willing to bounce back on any kind of conversation, as long as Emily was brave enough to pull out what Amy already knew. So many obstacles and so many gymnastics over a pointless chase. “Emily,” Amy sighed with a hand against the nearby beam, “you’re kinda putting me on the spot here? Can’t I just chat with my friend, or am I gonna have to be bored and keep to myself all day?” Then she turned the pressure up just a little more. “Still wanna know about the nursery…!” Amy sang, and Emily was either on the brink of shutting down or blowing up completely. She needed a heaping helping of yogurt to deliberate. “That strawberry?” Amy peered over the chunks of red hiding in the creamy white. “Yeah…think so…” Emily murmured from her seat. It was their constant sidesteps and casual shifts into much tamer topics that kept throwing the girl off. She couldn’t code switch like Amy could. Amy was a sewing machine, rapidly and vigorously tying together all topics entirely; until there was no more distinction and separation between casual and confidential. The entire day was just a melting pot of emotions and ideas. Casual was exactly that, even if it meant the weather or Emily’s latest punishment. She swallowed her treat, and Amy was already fussing with removing a banana from its peel. “Do…do you really wanna know?” But first, with a naked fruit in her hand, Amy asked, “Want me to cut this up?” Damn it. Another juggle in topics. Every swap was like a lossy translation. Every switch meant some kind of steam was lost. She had to be secretive and guarded, but not when it came to things as mundane as her own lunch. She couldn’t keep going from sharp to dull without slowly averaging out in between. What kind of mind games was this woman playing? “N-no…” “Okay,” and the woman took the trash with her. “And yeah, Emily, I’ve asked like twice now! Tell me what’s up! Or don’t? But if you don’t then we’re gonna need to find something else to talk about because I don’t wanna just hear my voice all day.” More yogurt was consumed and so was some of her banana. Perfectly ripe. Soft, but not too soft and with just the right amount of firmness… Joyce probably wasn’t that methodical, but even in times like these Emily couldn’t help but think about her. This was her chance, wasn’t it? Someone to talk to? To vent? Joyce was always her number one confidant, but even with her, especially with how intimate they were– with this, she for lack of a better explanation was too close to the crime… “Well it’s…it’s not even that big of a deal…” “Ugh, perfect then!” Amy slapped her counter, “that means you can tell me! The more you make me wait, the more curious I get! Right, Ashes?” Amy barked at her pet with a sharp pivot on her neck, and on command with impeccable comedic timing, the cat meowed right back. “Oh! He actually meowed!” Amy laughed in a moment of self-surprise. “But I swear, I’m not a crazy cat lady or anything!” Even Emily in her mental muck, stuck at a crossroads found it in herself to smile and even giggle. Her toes were anxiously pressing against the wooden panel underneath the counter and her bare elbows hung off the edge, but all those adrenaline-fueled sensations were starting to drop as the tempo relaxed and her guard was being disarmed. So she wiped the corner of her mouth and finally and truly surrendered herself. “...So do you remember how I mentioned about Joyce going to an investor thing…?” “Yes,” Amy nodded attentively, but didn’t spare another second in interrupting. “Actually, wait!” she held out a stopping finger. “Let me make some coffee real quick?” And like a cold splash of water Emily was halted on the tracks. “Oh, uh, sure. Actually…could I have some too?” “Yyyes…” Amy answered half-heartedly, obviously with her head in a different place, and her eyes on something else. “What’d Joyce pack you in that thermos?” Emily looked over at the blue metal tube, “Oh right, I forgot…” and she fumbled with the cap and unscrewed the top. It was hard to see, but it certainly wasn’t anything hot. “Want a cup?” Amy, a lot like Joyce, seemed to shoot while she asked her questions. “Thanks,” Emily accepted the glass which became the perfect moment for Amy to take the thermos for herself. “Think it’s wine?” Amy tried to tempt her with an excited look, and Emily gave her a skeptical smirk. “Yeah,” she dropped the suspense, “probably not…” And out poured into Emily’s cup a familiar amber substance. Juice. Apple, to be specific. “Apple juice, too?” Amy sounded nothing but impressed. “Jeez, she really does treat you like a royal, huh?” and so did she by screwing the cap back on for Emily. “Alrighty, actually, just chat with me anyways while I make my stuff. I’m listening!” Apple juice, yogurt, a banana, and a sandwich. A spread fit only for the most kingly of kings, or princy of princesses. While she balanced her intake of all the different sides of her meal, Emily finally opened back up. “So you remember the event I mentioned?” “Yeah, the one Joyce went to?” “Mhm. So it was an overnight thing and she had to take a plane early in the morning. And when we…” the first roadblock was always the hardest because it meant covering new ground. “Whenever we…do our thing, the nursery is open… So when we aren’t, Joyce keeps it locked…” As honest as she was being, her voice and volume were hardly up for the challenge. And yet Amy seemed to be hearing it all without issue. “Do you guys have like a key for it?” Amy asked over the noise of her squirbling coffee machine. “Yeah, but Joyce has it, and as far as I know there’s only one…” Maybe they had two, but Emily didn’t even know where Joyce kept the first. On her person at all times? It was bad timing, but a small, mischievous activity was suddenly coming to mind. Now she had a small scavenger hunt she could try and do someday… “That’s a good idea, though. To keep people from accidentally walking in, and everything,” Amy openly thought. “Yeah,” Emily nodded, though she could imagine a few more reasons why she had a key for it… “But anyway, I think she was in a big rush that morning, because she forgot to lock it.” “Oh!” Amy gasped, despite hardly knowing the gravity. But she wasn’t ignorant to storytelling, which is why she kept looking back excitedly from her coffee pour. “So did you go in? Do you guys have a rule about that sort of thing?” “W-well…” Emily was certainly good at following rules. Even as a kid, barring her occasional upsets that was fair to expect from any typical child, held them in high regard. She understood the concept of cause and effect; consequences. Breaking rules begets punishments. Simple as that. “Since it was just gonna be me there the whole day…” Why was she looking away? Why were her eyes off to the side? “I may have gone in…” “Emily!” Amy gasped again, and the sound of surprise was almost paralyzing. It sounded like round two with Joyce all over again, except with a totally different vibe. The disappointment and disapproval was all there, but unlike Joyce’s cool, tough and teasing love approach, Amy’s was lush and uncut. She sounded like an actual…you know. Like little Emily, the sweetest girl she’d known for the toddler’s entire life had just committed a crime so severe, sitting so far above whatever standard or expectation she held her to. “I-it wasn’t even that bad!” Emily cried and an instinctual switch put her on the defensive. “I-I went in because no one would know!” It was round two all over again, as if Amy were Emily’s second shot at making a plea to a case that had already been solved and shut. “Yeah, but I’m guessing she did?” Amy raised an eyebrow, and all it took was the guilty look starting to show for the woman with a mug a coffee to laugh again, shaking her head. “What’d you even go in there for if you’re not supposed to?” “Just for clothes! Those pajamas you made me!” “One of the onesies?” “No, the footie ones!” “Ahh! So you guys keep that stuff in there?” she brought a hand to her chest, “I’m touched!” “I think it’s the only clothing we keep in there…” Emily propped up her head on a knuckle, chewing her bite of sandwich. “It was just a lazy day and Joyce made the mistake, not me! I just wanted to wear something soft!” “Yeah, but it was supposed to be locked up, right?” “Yes!” Emily threw out her hands at the sign of a growing comradery. Great! So Amy was seeing it too! “So you knew you weren’t supposed to be in there?” And suddenly the spark had fizzled and Emily’s mouth was sagging by the corners. Meanwhile, Amy was giving her an expectant look. “But she left it unlocked…” the girl tried her line of reasoning again, like the result would somehow be any different. “Yeah, but it sounds like you knew it wasn’t intentional,” Amy chuckled. “All I’m hearing is that you broke the rules?” “Maybe, but doesn’t Joyce get in trouble for making a mistake too?” “Ahp!” Amy caught her like Ashes swiped her tongue. “That’s different, though! She made a mistake and you made the choice to do what you did! Gotta say, Em, didn’t think you had that kinda mischief in you…!” “Yeah well,” Emily puffed out her cheek, “Guess I’ve been getting it from somebody.” And the side remark had Amy in stitches, giggling before and after a sip from her mug. The she asked the million dollar question, “So she obviously found out, right?” And like it was admitting to a stain on her flawless record, after crossing her legs, un-crossing, then finishing the rest of her yogurt, Emily muttered without eye contact, “Yes…she found out.” “Well now I gotta ask how? Does she memorize the way she organizes them, or something?” God forbid, Emily had yet to test the waters like that. If Joyce really was that superhuman then there really would be no secrets to guard from her. No, instead, Joyce as deductive as she was had actually been thrown a very obvious bone by a very clumsy criminal. “No…I…took it off at one point because someone came over and didn’t want them to see me like that… So I…left it under the bed in the room Joyce and I sleep in.” “What?” Amy pulled back her head, “Emily, no!” She couldn’t stop laughing. “That’s like borrowing rule number one! Put it back where you found it!” “She found it under the bed,” and Emily sighed, remembering the consequences that eventually led to her wetting the bed, including her pajamas, “and she wasn’t happy…” “Learned your lesson, I take it?” The implication of a punishment was clear even without directly asking. A solemn nod came back. “Mm. Well, then for both our sakes, let’s not do anything to get you in trouble, huh? Or I guess me, for that matter… Almost done with your lunch?” “Yeah, and thanks for helping me get it together…” “Yeah, of course! It’s nice getting to help every now and then. Oh, actually, do you mind if I ask a kinda personal question? Just cuz it’s related to the clothes, and all.” “Uh, yeah…sure? What is it?” How personal could it be? Emily just got finished explaining the whole nursery debacle and practically felt secondhand scolded because of it. “When you wore those pajamas, were you in a diaper?” Bold and unashamed. There was hardly a cloud in Amy’s mind when she asked, and Emily as per usual was taken aback. “Uh…no…” “Mhm,” Amy nodded appreciatively, taking down internal R&D notes. “Just wanted to know how the fit felt without them. Any reason why ya didn’t?” “It fit fine, but…” But what? Was it truly fine to tell Amy whatever she wanted? “We…sort of have a rule about…diapers…” “Uh-oh, you didn’t go breaking another one, did you?” Amy looked as if she feared for the worst while she nursed the edge of her coffee mug. “Ah, don’t forget about that juice, by the way,” she quietly pointed out the cup that still needed some draining. “No, not this time.” Probably because I can’t even imagine how severe the punishment for it would be… Emily paused to finish her cup of juice. “I’m not…uh…” her fingers started weaving, “I’m not allowed to put on my own diapers…” And instead of an awkward noise, an offhand comment or general disgust, all Amy did was, “Ahh…” and she nodded. “Yeah, Joyce kinda sounds like a real Mama bear. I’d be wary if I were in your shoes, too… So uhm…actually…how does that rule work?” How does it work? “I mean…it’s just that I can’t put on a diaper…Joyce said she wants to…be in charge of that stuff.” Not like Emily was looking to assume any of that responsibility, though. “So even if you asked, Joyce wouldn’t let you put on one?” “No…probably not.” And Amy quietly nodded, though for once she wasn’t immediate with a follow up. Like she was thinking. “Well, uhm, hey, how about we clean up here and move downstairs?” Amy clapped her hands together. “Thanks for being so open with me, but the way,” and she stepped beyond the barrier again by patting Emily on the shoulder. “It’s fun getting to hear stories from you, you know! I take it that you’ve got more for me?” And in spite of the subject material, Emily’s smile was slowly starting to come back. “If…if you just let me think a little?” “I think I can manage that,” she agreed herself with a serious nod. “And also, Emily? You’ll do what you think is the smart decision, but please,” she leaned in closer, “don’t break too many rules? I still need Joyce leaving you in one piece if you’re gonna come over and help me out…!” And all it took was that to get both women laughing. A tense lunch had dissolved and become something far more freeform than Emily could have ever imagined. With far less restraint she somehow managed to actually talk about her own experiences. She opened up for once! She got to complain and vent about something so bizarre, and yet Amy listened wholeheartedly, even if she seemed to be a little more in Joyce’s camp… But with no other way to describe it, just having someone like Amy…who knew it could have felt this…good? “Oh, I can get that, honey,” Amy assured her by taking the empty plate out of her hand. “By the way, don’t forget to bring your juice downstairs!” And obediently, Emily took the thermos and dropped down to her feet without a comment. After rinsing her hands she was the first one headed for the stairs, giggling a small bit once Ashes was fast to find her and join the carpool. Hanging out with Amy isn’t all that bad…?

18 - Propaganda Prison “What do you mean, ‘play with the books?’,” Dawn barely managed to hold back a scoff. “I’m here to read them like everyone else!” “And you can go read lots of fun stories in here?” Grace deflected and redirected with her finger. “I bet if you gave them a chance, you’d be really surprised how good they are!” “And I want a book that isn’t made from cardboard or more pictures than actual words,” Dawn frowned. “What kind of rule even is that, anyway? Ka–” she stammered then stopped, but Grace was being patient enough to allow her to continue. Let the Little finish her tantrum. “Mmm…Mommy,” fucking christ! “--She didn’t say anything about a rule like that.” “You can always ask her when she comes back, sweetheart, but it’s a lot safer for you in here. Big kid books are too big and hard to read, anyway,” she waved her hand and just a few more years brushed off Dawn’s shoulders. “Come on,” Grace stood back up, but not before taking Dawn’s hand. “Let’s go give those books another peek, alright? Mommy said you liked reading, didn’t she?” Reading stuff that’s actually interesting… Not whatever baby books that are in here…! Thus a second round of perusing had begun, only now Dawn was chained and shackled to her tour guide. “Let’s see…!” Grace hummed with infectious enthusiasm that Dawn was thankfully vaccinated against. The Amazon was slouched over just to see the top shelf of the shorter furniture, and Dawn was trying to look anywhere but Grace tried to call attention to. “Oou, how about this one?” Dawn didn’t watch, but she could hear the plastic laminated cover slide out from the crowd of crazy literature. The librarian tapped into her secondary skill as a nursery school teacher, because slowly and carefully she enunciated the cover, “Tumbly Tiger’s Big Adventure,” then held the front of it out to Dawn. “That sounds like a fun one, right?” As a fun fact, at least for standard literature, the best stories were the ones that were actual good stories. Tales that could leverage basic devices and spin them as something new or synthesize with totally new ideas altogether. Words can bring the imagination to life and the true imagery is born inside the head. There was stuff like comics too, which was also impressive, but acknowledging that would hurt the crux of what was keeping Dawn so agitated right now. A soft-shaded pastel tiger with rounded nubs for fangs, walking on two legs with a bright friendly face didn’t inspire confidence for the potential complexities a tale like that might have. “No.” “No?” Grace repeated, playing up her surprise. “Well…” she hummed as she thumbed through a few wide pages by herself, “I think there’s some really cool pictures in this one?” she pulled back the book to peer down at Dawn again. “Maybe we should give it a try?” “What are the themes?” “Themes?” Ha. Guess Grace didn’t expect a pretend three-year old to ask something like that. “What’s the genre?” Dawn doubled down. “Mystery? Romance?” If Grace was going to stall and waste her time, certainly she was at least going to give her something with some meat on it? Something to sink her teeth into? Christ, for plot convenience Tumbly the fucking Tiger was probably friends with the whole animal kingdom; prey and all. Too bad the carnivore would somehow be a vegetarian. If that tiger’s teeth were too dull to bite, at least let Dawn consume something…! “This story…” Grace skimmed the back of it, “teaches us that it’s important to share and follow the rules. Wanna go over to the sitting circle and check it out?” Grace insisted yet again. “No,” Dawn repeated once more. “...Okie-dokie!” Grace, brushing off the cold rejection, slid the book back in its place. “There’s lots more to choose from. So let’s see…” And while Grace put in all the team effort on her own, Dawn dragged her feet in a small circle, just barely catching glimpses of more unfortunate sights. Being Big Again Counting Three’s Kingdom Under the Crib Traded - Learning to Share Not Fair - Why Rules are Good! Breaking the Toy Funny how titles were supposed to be the earworms that hooked your brain and caught your attention. They all certainly worked wonders at inciting emotion, only all the negative ones. Maybe. Just maybe something out of all these shelves could receive the bare minimum score of entertaining or passable for the adult mind, but her standards were far beyond a tolerable place now that she knew she was being forced to choose among a filtered selection. If she didn’t get any leniency, the institution would be getting none either. “How about this one? Doesn’t this look silly?” “No.” “Oou…! This one is about space! Do you like stars?” “Nope.” “Then…oh, how about kitties? Aren’t cats so cute?” “I’m not interested.” Again and again. Three finite resources were being drained and it was only a matter of time to figure out which was in the shortest supply. Grace’s patience? Dawn’s stubbornness? Or, the worst of all, the seemingly endless torture trove of baby books to sift through? And just when the corner of Grace’s mouth was starting to hide behind her cheek, the battle was shifting in the Little’s favor. “Jeez, Dawn! You’re an awfully picky reader!” Even if it was minor and a disguised reaction, obviously it meant something. Surely. The mild discomfort only emboldened the girl’s resistance…! And soon enough Grace was back to crouching with her knees pressed together, scanning the selection for yet another recommendation. Though she chuckled with a mutter, “You’re just as picky as your Mommy…” Ugh. The offhand comment came at her like a rusty, slimy hook. Something gross and ill-inducing that had no business invading her headspace. Comparing them? She and Katherine? What similarities? Books? Maybe. Just maybe the faintest thread existed, but that was pure coincidence. Nothing else. It was a thread of fate that existed like so many others between passing strangers on the street. Their relationship went absolutely no further than that, so to hear a complete stranger, acting so friendly and familiar, treating Dawn like she was actually Katherine’s…! “Grace!” an exasperated voice caught wind of the Amazon and Little. Katherine, standing by the entrance to the prison pen, identically dressed now compared to her friend, was looking a tad bit upset. “You actually took her?” Dawn tried to hide her side eye, wishing there hadn’t been anyone to show her any of this at all. But more importantly, even if it was out of obligation, the closest thing to an advocate for Dawn had returned. Her… “savior.” Grace came back to her feet with a chuckle and shrug. “You mean you’d keep your little girl bored and waiting just so you could be the one to bring her here?” she laughed. “Sorry~! Guess I wanted to be nice!” And since she couldn’t say it aloud, Dawn kept her insults and scoffs to herself, tucked away nicely inside the filing cabinet that lived inside her head. Filed under “Why I hate Amazons,” an unsurprisingly expanding folder… Apparently Katherine had been checkmated, because she didn’t pursue the taunt. Instead she entered the Little’s den and crouched right beside Dawn, giving her a warm smile. “Are you looking for something fun to read?” “N-...” Dawn started to react, then skipped to the main issue altogether. “--I want to go see the other books in the library.” “The other books?” Katherine tilted her head. “Yes, the other books,” Dawn stressed. “Not a bunch of books for babies and kids. Real books!” “I tried to tell her…” Grace quietly added from over the Little’s head. “...Dawn,” Katherine started after glancing up at her friend, “All the books here are really big. Sometimes they can be a little hard to read too; even for me!” “And I’m not here to read books for kids!” Dawn stressed. “When you said you were taking me here, I actually thought I’d get to read meaningful stuff; not kids books!” “But you can learn a lot from these? See?” Katherine explained, grabbing one of the nearest books. “Belinda’s Buzzy Business,” she recited just like Grace did, and even traced her finger slowly with each and every word. A fat ball of black and yellow lines with tiny wings and a face smiled on the cover. “This one teaches you about all the big important jobs there are in nature?” Through what, the imaginary friendships and conversations animals of different species in a complex ecosystem would never have? “I don’t want to read that…! I…I want to read something…” Fuck, was there really no better word? “Something mature!” “Dawn, there’s nothing wrong with these books?” With few effective tricks, Dawn opted for the litmus test. “Would you read it?” “Would I?” Katherine repeated, glancing down at the cover. “Sweetie, of course I’d read it? When it’s break time later we can read it together?” Together? No! No! No! “You…!” Dawn groaned with her hands in her hair. “Why did you even get my hopes up…! So what: I’m stuck in here the whole day? In this stupid pen with no actual books to read?” “I thought you liked books, though?” “Stop twisting it!” Dawn cried. “You know this isn’t what I meant! I read actual books! Novels! Memoirs! Biographies! I want prose; poems! Murder mysteries, romance, science fiction, post-apocalypse, war, famine, politics; anything that none of this stupid corner has…!” A sharp prickle stung her back when she heard Grace comment from behind, directly to Katherine and completely over her fake-daughter, “That stuff really isn’t appropriate for a Little…?” And the fuse had been lit. The fire was about to blaze, and just when Dawn and her diapered ass was about to turn on her foot to give not just a piece of her mind, but the whole goddamn thing, a pair of Amazon arms clamped around her and into a hug. “Dawn, I know it can be frustrating when we don’t like the rules, but we have them for good reasons?” Katherine explained, and Dawn wriggled and squirmed. She wasn’t dumb, though. She was fully aware that she was ready to blow up at Grace, and more than likely say quite a few things that at the bare minimum would’ve been “unfriendly.” She wasn’t dumb because she knew Katherine wasn’t completely either. Katherine was smart, just…selectively ignorant. Like everyone else. Even if the affection right now was genuine, the practical use of a hug right now meant more than the emotional. In other words, Dawn was one step away from upping her tantrum and Katherine saw it coming. Was she really getting that predictable? Katherine rubbed her back. “Dawn, the library gets very busy during the day, and it’s just not safe to let all the Littles that come here with their Mommies and Daddies run around.” “The library isn’t a playground, Dawn,” Grace added, like she thought she was actually being helpful. “And I’m not here to play!” Dawn scrutinized Katherine. “I’m not reading anything here! I want actual books!” But apparently she couldn’t, all because of discrimination. “Shh…okay,” Katherine calmly and quietly hushed, and to need any of that only made the girl in her arms more upset. She wasn’t making a scene! Her anger was justified! This was fair! Stop trying to put her out like a pesky, unimportant fire! “How about this: can we make each other a promise?” A promise? A deal? If it was anything that could even remotely excite Dawn, it better have been in writing. Then again, what system was in place to actually stop an Amazon from cheating a Little? After all, it’d been done time and time again so easily and carefree. While Dawn wasn’t answering, she was looking. “If you promise to be on your best behavior today, once it’s my break, I promise I’ll take you around the library, okay? We can look at some of the books.” It was a trick. A trap. Some kind of clause that undid anything that was seemingly a benefit to the poor girl. She should refuse. She should ignore it. And yet… “...Really?” Why…why did she have to get her hopes up…?! “Yes, really,” Katherine nodded quite soundly. “It’s a promise, okay?” “F…fine.” Lay low. Pretend like she didn’t exist the whole day, then reap the rewards. Slowly she was released from her ride and Dawn was back on her own two feet. Katherine, calm and collected, tuned her expression to be a bit more cheery. “And, I want you to find at least one book in here to read, okay?” “What?” Dawn’s mouth went crooked and her eyebrows sank. “That wasn’t part of the deal!” She couldn’t do that! The imaginary papers had already been signed! And then, oh, then Katherine had the audacity to say… “Dawn?” she raised the tone of her voice, warping it into a warning, like whatever good faith the girl had just been coasting on was about to be irreparably broken. Why was this fair? Why did she get to do this? Making up rules, terms and conditions after the fact they agreed to something? “You’re gonna be in here for the most of the day, so I want you to find something you’ll like, okay?” “Th-the whole day?” Dawn stammered in surprise, but how obvious it should’ve been was only hitting her in the moment, plain as day for Katherine and Grace to hear and see. “Your Mommy needs to help everyone visiting the library, sweetheart!” Grace chimed in, and Dawn wished she simply didn’t exist. “I’m gonna be on the same floor the whole time,” Katherine assured, and Dawn was drifting further from anything even remotely close to complacency. The only halfway decent thing that saved Dawn from asking embarrassing questions was by the woman reading her mind for her. “Another nice friend of mine is gonna be here all day with you, okay? It’s her job to pick out all the fun stories you can listen to! Maybe you’ll like some of those?” The sitting circle, as Grace had called it, struck the girl’s mind. The giant rocking chair and bean bag seats… This was just a pseudo-daycare. A dropoff for kids while their parents got what they needed…! Sure, maybe it wasn’t one officially in name, but right then it was clear by just how much Katherine was toeing the line with what did and did not count as childcare that Dawn didn’t need…! “You’re gonna get to meet lots of other kids your age, too?” Grace, again with her horrible facts, added. And with all that in her head, Dawn couldn’t have looked more disappointed with believing for just a second that she really dodged any kind of bullet with her so few rules that she made Katherine abide. No daycares? Sure. No library baby-watch stops, though? Fair game, for sure! “Grace…” Katherine looked up at her friend, “Is…do you think Dayna might be willing to swap with me?” Swap with who? Dayna? What, was that the name of today’s warden? “You can try, but she goes on vacation tomorrow…” Grace faded out, implying something obvious only to the two Amazons. “If it were me, I wouldn’t wanna lose the fun job on my last day…” And Katherine sighed, exchanging her disappointed look with Dawn for a confused one. “Yeah…me neither…” “She should be here any minute now, I think,” Grace murmured, glancing at a phone in her hand. “And shoot! Oops, gotta go! I need to make it over to the front desk… See ya soon! Bye Dawn!” she flashed a hand as she left the pen, finally leaving the original pair alone. Now at least it felt a bit easier for Dawn to speak her mind. “You lied to me.” “Lied? What?” “I said no daycare, and you promised!” Dawn hissed. “I did promise, though?” Katherine agreed, but the mutual understanding stopped there. “You’re not at daycare right now?” “Then what is this?!” Dawn waved her arms, making it a very deliberate point to motion towards the fence surrounding the space. “I’m just supposed to be stuck here all day? I can’t leave on my own, and I have to read a bunch of stupid books that I could care less about?” “Dawn, you shouldn’t be saying something like that… Stupid isn’t a nice word.” “No.” Finally, Dawn put her foot down. “No,” she said again, “No! I played your game. Fine, I’m not swearing anymore,” vocally, at least, “but you’re not policing stuff like ‘stupid’ and ‘dumb’. I’m not gonna call anyone that, but I am keeping that.” Some kind of mantra must have been circulating through Katherine’s head, because she didn’t bite back on the argument. Instead she took a breath before saying, “Please, just behave,” she reminded, and Dawn tried not to flare her nostrils. And as determined as Dawn looked, she stuttered as she asked, “What…what happens when I need to use the bathroom? How am I supposed to get you if you’re not gonna be in here?” “I’ll check on you regularly to see if you need a change,” Katherine said simply. “No. That’s not what I asked. Bathroom. Toilet,” Dawn leaned on her words. “What?” Finally, Katherine was starting to become oblivious to the things that’d been debated and discarded so one-sidedly long ago. “Dawn, honey, that’s why you have your diaper on. Don’t worry about the potty today, alright?” “But that’s…!” “Other people are watching, Dawn. That’s why we need to be good and behave, okay?” And somehow, being good meant being incontinent. Unfair. So unbelievably unfair. “It’s nothing to feel embarrassed about. Everyone in here is gonna be in diapers, too?” And probably just as much not by choice, but what did that matter arguing with mob mentality itself? And more and more interruptions were always intervening. “Katherine, hey!” A new voice from behind, and Katherine turned her head. “Dayna! Good morning!” AndjJust as Katherine stood, her back that once shielded Dawn from exposure was evaporated. “Good morning, and is this who I think it is?” “Yes, I think it is,” Katherine laughed with a bashful look. “Does the word really get around that fast?” “Yes, I think it does,” Dayna nodded, and from the sound of her voice her eyes were probably rolling too. “No offense though, but it really was just a matter of time for you. Everybody knew you were gonna do it at some point…?” “Jeez, fine, enough of that! Grace was giving me a hard enough time as it is… But, yes, this is Dawn! Dawn, can you say ‘hi’?” And yet again, being asked to do something before Dawn could do it on her own good faith herself. Was she going to greet the Amazon if unprompted? Absolutely not, but principles were principles. “Hello.” “So polite!” Dayna gasped, and Dawn was cringing. The Amazon dropped to her knees, unfortunately. “And how old are you, Dawn?” “I am in my twenties…” Did big numbers turn them off to the idea of infantilism? “Oh wow!” Dayna exclaimed the same way any teacher meeting her new kindergarteners might sound, “I guess she’s closer to that age where diapers wouldn’t have been so far away, huh?” Dayna laughed with Katherine, and Dawn watched for her reaction like a hawk. “So, anyway…” Katherine moved things along, “Just with our situation right now, I decided to bring Dawn into work today, so she’s gonna be here in the Learning Corner while I work.” “Mhm? That won’t be an issue for me? Were you looking for me to take over?” she pointed out the bag slung over Katherine’s shoulder that Dawn finally noticed. “Oh, this? No, uhm, I planned on keeping it here nearby, if that’s okay? It’s your last day before vacation, right? I don’t want to give you any more responsibilities,” she laughed, and so did Dayna, and so didn’t Dawn. Funny how she was a “responsibility” purely because Katherine and the rest of this world turned her into one. “Okay, sure, that’s fine! I’m sure we’ll be good buds by the end of the day, but check on her as much as you need to,” Dayna smiled nonchalantly. “Thank you so much!” Katherine clasped her hands appreciatively. “Only thing is, would you mind getting her juice if she asks for it? I packed some bottles for her, and everything’s in here,” Katherine reminded with a jostle from her shoulder. “She knows to behave,” thank goodness, otherwise Dawn was surely going to be a ball of fire. “So if there’s any kind of trouble, just let me know and I can take care of it.” “Okie-dokie, sounds good!” Dayna nodded, accepting the diaper bag from Katherine. “Anything else I should know?” If only Dawn was allowed to speak in any way whatsoever on how to handle herself; like leaving her the fuck alone. “All of this is still new to her, so please be patient? I promised her if all I got were good reports from you, then I’d take her around the library to see some of the other books. She likes reading!” “Oooh!” Dayna mouthed, and Dawn stooped her shoulders while she looked away. “So someone’s gonna be extra good today for a special treat, huh? Okay then,” she laughed, “understood!” “And actually,” Katherine hummed, reaching into the bag now sitting on the bookshelf, “Dawn? Let’s get you started on something to drink.” And it only hit her after she took the container that it was a bottle. Not a sippy cup. Not a bottle with a twist cap, but the kind topped with a silicone nipple. “This isn’t my normal cup,” Dawn said plainly. “Sippy cups are when we’re at home,” Katherine said, not explained. “I packed lots of that melon juice you like, though?” Juice she didn’t even like… Juice she found palatable because it was already decided on and bought for her…! “Oh, that stuff? My niece can’t get enough of it!” Dayna chuckled. “And you packed her a whole bag of that? Goodness, Dawn. Sweetie, I think your Mommy’s gonna spoil you rotten…!” And true to her word, Dawn could feel the rot building in her brain. “Okay… Gotta go for real this time,” Katherine finally said to Dawn. “Is everything okay? Do you feel fine?” Hardly. This was reaching new levels of suckiness with each passing minute. “Yes. I’m fine.” “Okay,” and without asking, Katherine pulled her in for another snug and tight hug. A worrisome hum left the budding Mommy’s heart. “Like I said, I’m gonna be nearby and I’ll be checking in often, okay?” “Mhm.” “Good,” and she crossed the line again with another wet kiss on the forehead that Dawn was rubbing away the moment she turned. “Thank you again, Dayna!” Katherine waved, though her eyes kept stealing looks at Dawn like she’d never get the chance to see her again. “Anytime! See you later!” And she was gone. Now Dawn was on friend number two, and how things would go from there was pure uncertainty. Dayna smiled nonetheless down at the girl though. “So Dawn, is this your first time at the library?” At this one, yes? At any of them? “No? I’ve been to libraries before.” That apparently put a look of surprise on the woman’s face. “Really, now?” “Yes?” Was it that surprising? “I’ve never heard of a library around here allowing Littles in on their own…” Dayna mused. “But anyway, I’m so glad I get to spend the day with you!” “Great.” Too bad the feeling was far from mutual. “Mommies and Daddies come and like to drop their kids off here while they get what they need. Every day there’s someone like me here to read you all lots of fun and exciting stories!” Dayna held a hand to her chest, just in case Dawn didn’t realize that she was the only Amazon within a thirty foot radius. “Uh-huh.” “And, from what I know, you must still be pretty new to your Mommy and Daddy, huh? So, something tells me that you might know yourself a teeny tiny bit better than Mommy might right now? So, if you’re comfortable telling me, is there anything else that I should know about you?” What else should she know? What? That Dawn was kidnapped against her will? That she’s stuck in a dimension and far from home? That she had no business whatsoever being in diapers, and that this was all some cheap farce forcing her into something she wasn’t? “I just want to be left alone.” “Alone~?” Dayna sang with a gasp. “Well that’s no fun! Don’t you wanna meet all the other kids that are gonna be here soon?” Was she being serious? No, she probably was. “Not really.” Not at all. What was the best case scenario? Seeing a face she’d likely only ever meet once in her life? What’s worse, someone in just as shitty of a situation or one that was twistedly worse? The last thing she wanted was a closeup of what she could potentially be destined to become. “Mm…well, I hope you’ll come around…!” And Dawn’s unfortunate answer was to simply take a swig from her bottle. Then her eyes drifted to the side, somehow quickly learning to dread what she cherished so much. The army of books surrounding her, all vile in some sort of way, would now become the poison that she was forced to pick, per Katherine’s amended deal… She reluctantly stuck her free hand out for one of the books, hoping to finish the “fun” sooner rather than later, but her hand was promptly pushed back. “Ah-ah!” Dayna, tutted, “Dawn, that’s a rule we have here. No food or drinks around the books.” And Dawn looked down at the bottle, dumbfounded. Then why in the hell did she give me this…?! So sighing, Dawn put the bottle down on the floor in front of her sneakers, resuming the search. But so too did the Amazon hand block her again. Now looking a bit annoyed, Dawn glanced up at the woman. “No food. No drinks.” Dawn repeated, trying not to sound pissy. Did she not do as she was told? “Dawn, your juice is right there,” Dayna pointed to the ground with a knowing look. “Finish up your bottle then you can play with the books.” Was reading not even reading anymore? Now it was playing? “Then put it back in the bag?” Dawn shrugged, like the problem solely lied with the newly appointed caretaker. How wishy-washy were these people going to be? First it wasn’t her problem, then suddenly it was again? “We’ll put it back once it’s empty, honey. Drink your juice.” More of being told what to do. Dawn did not like. “…My Mommy said I had to pick out a book to read and show her later… My hands are clean. Do you want me to show you?” And feeling especially bitchy in the most passive way possible, Dawn was already stretching out her arms, waving out her open palms. “Don’t worry, sweetie, we’ll wipe those down with some wet wipes after. Tell you what: how about I read you something while you drink your juice?” And Dawn turned her hands, already finding them spotless. What wiping did they need? Was it more gaslighting and conditioning just to make all these stupid rules even more absolute? Just as she was about to regretfully reach down for her bottle, Dayna’s hand reached forward, flipping up Dawn’s shirt and latching on the front of her pants, diaper included. It was fast and prompt, but for a full few seconds the Amazon peered down the front of her diaper. “S-stop!” Dawn yelped, pulling back forcefully and hard, but her pants and diaper only slapped shut once Dayna decided to let her go. “Why did you do that?!” “Because I know what a little attitude sounds like, honey,” Dayna smiled with a knowing look, gamifying her small bout of sexual harassment. “Dry though… Wet diapies can sometimes be a bit uncomfy.” Was this really how the day was going to go? One filled with unprompted, nonconsensual peeks at Dawn’s privates? Ka…Katherine was unacceptable. She shouldn’t be doing it either, but…if Kathrine was rock bottom, then A complete stranger like Dayna was negative levels beyond the bedrock that her fake Mommy was supposed to be. “I can tell you if I’m wet!” Not that she’d ever say it, though. “Besides, you’re…! You’re not allowed to do that!” “Dawn, honey, I check diapers for kids in here all the time?” “And did they consent to that? Did they give you permission?” “Their parents did, sweetie?” Right, because circular logic be damned; how wasn’t this a daycare, again? “Well I didn’t. And no one else gave it to you, either!” What a clever way of avoiding the M-word. “Then if I can’t check you, how am I going to know once you need a change?” “Because you aren’t going to know! K…” No way to avoid it this time. “Mommy said she was going to check. So it’s none of your business.” “Uh-huh…” Dayna briefly nodded, and whatever logic and truth she was using, it didn’t seem to be flying by her so freely. And without a definitive conclusion, Dayna stood back up. “Do you wanna drink your juice over at the circle while I get some books together?” Just so the Amazon could watch her like a hawk? With no words, Dawn grabbed her bottle, half-expecting another sneak attack on her pants. But because there wasn’t, she tried to walk as calmly and noiselessly as she could. If it wasn’t something explicitly annoying to do, or demeaning enough, she was willing to give in to a point that hopefully didn’t make many waves… It was just her and a stranger trying to be as handsy with her as if she were Katherine. What right did she have? Just Dawn and someone she hardly knew on top of what was going to be an incoming brigade of tots coming and going. More than likely adult bodies, muscles and breasts, diapers and all. The bags of beans were roundish, irregular and tall. One bag she could see a little bit over as a testament to its height, and she tossed her bottle up on the bright green material wrapped all around it. If only it could have been one of the modern, fur-cloth kinds that actually felt expensive. This was just thick industrial plastic cloth reminiscent of her actual daycare days that was only about bright colors and a rough balance between function and form. She grabbed onto the smooth material, scraping her hands as she swung her leg to try and force an indent to get into the seat. Her thick sneaker slipped though as she leaned into it, trying to climb but only deforming the beady inside. “Oops, those are a little tough to climb!” Dayna right from behind chuckled, and before Dawn knew it a hand pressed against her bottom, rocketing her straight up and into the seat. Dawn spun her body to look up at the predator, quickly muttering, “Thank you…” Better to be said fast than told later to do the same. “Of course!” Dayna smiled, and off she hummed behind the rocking chair, perusing all the books along the high Amazon shelf that Dawn just like every other Little, with or without food and drink was strictly prohibited from. Ridiculous… Dawn sighed, begrudgingly sucking the bottle. Tiny spurts came out with each tiring suck. Since when was drinking supposed to be an exercise? She held the bottle up to the ceiling, just so gravity made absolutely sure that not an ounce of work was wasted on scoring the liquid. And it sucked. It sucked so much. Not just the sucking of her bottle, but sucking of how halfway decently good the juice truly was. Whatever melon the taste was supposed to mimic, it didn’t change the sweet taste with a tinge of tang. It was like a tropical punch on a warm and sunny day. Too bad she was busy spending hers inside a designated space for children. One bottle later and Dawn was back on her feet. The empty bottle was finished and left behind on the beanbag seat. Finally unhindered, she grabbed the first book she saw off the shelf. Nope. Dumb. Boring. Was this one about diapers? A story about milk? A teddy bear army? What kind of ideas did this– “Dawn?” A curt voice caught her attention. Like an afterthought, Dawn glanced over at Dayna and all her many towering feet. Her eyes and mouth were perched on the edge of expectant and disapproval. Great. What was her problem now? “What? I finished my drink?” “But we didn’t clean off your hands,” Dayna reminded, and Dawn may or may not have “forgotten.” “My hands are clean, though?” “Dawn…don’t be difficult,” Dayna, apparently the new queen, admonished her. “Put the book down and let’s wipe your hands.” And limiting it to just a look, Dawn did set down the book, standing in place. Maybe Dayna was trying to avoid an argument that the Little, despite being told not to, was priming herself for, because she walked off on her own, rummaging through the diaper bag and coming back with a square white wipe in her hand. “Can you hold out your hands for me, please?” And out they came. The wipes were quick and brief, but her hands certainly felt wet. Thanks, wet wipes. In fact, Dawn would argue that her hands felt even more inept to be handling someone else’s property than they originally did. Not her problem, though. She was just following the “rules.” “Okay, all clean now. Just let me know if you want another bottle, okay?” “Uh-huh.” Back to “playing” she went. More bad books. More crimes against literature. She had progressed to the point of glancing at pages more than just the covers and titles, and the regret was only growing. The books were off. The contents were strange. They all had simple and obvious lessons, like any kid’s book would, but the teachings and morals were…off. Learning to share. Being selfless…be kind, be nice… All that was there, but so were other things. And Tommy learned that the best way to have fun was being a good little boy, after all. Not a shoe, nor a poo was out of place that night. All thanks to Mothery Moo! Diapers go squish-squish! Panties go dff-dff… The illustrations were off. Emphasis on diapers and families weren’t just one-time coincidences Dawn had seen in the other books. It wasn’t all of them, but so many books were far more deceptive than she was realizing. It taught simple lessons, but all the wrong ones. What’s more, the less offensive stories that weren’t thick slabs of cardboard pages still had their strange material quirks. The pages were still far from paper; thick and tough. Like construction paper times three, or something. It was smooth and sturdy like the pages themselves were plastic? Not that she’d try to deface a book, but she did press a little, watching the paper-like material bend and arch. What were these things made of…? “Oops, are we the first ones?” An Amazon, finally not in a uniform but plainclothes, was standing by the entrance of the area, holding a little girl against her hip. Well…no…not little. A Little. The mystery was solved once Dawn noticed the slight bumps hiding behind her dress, which was most of everything that she could identify about the girl being once a woman. The curves on her legs were hiding behind her thick, frilly socks traveling up to the knees. Her hips and waist disappeared underneath the length of her sundress. The flowery pin in her straightened hair wasn’t doing her any favors either. “Fraid not!” Dayna laughed, walking past Dawn and up to the front. “She’s number two. Who do I have the pleasure of taking in today?” “This is Kailey,” the mother, beaming, set the Little down on the floor, landing on her two feet. “I needed to do some research in one of the computer labs… Is it okay to leave her here for a little bit?” “Absolutely is! Can you just sign her in right here?” she motioned to a wooden slant extruding out of the framed gate. “Helps us keep track, and all.” “Yeah, I imagine it gets a little busy here.” Dawn watched the woman mutter while she scribbled on something. “Should I leave her supplies?” “Only if you think you’re going to be long.” “Mm…” the Amazon hummed, holding her own equipment bag, similar to the one Katherine got. “Just in case?” She offered it up, and Dayna accepted. “Thank you so much!” the woman smiled appreciatively, and Dawn slowly drifted ahead and around to a private spot behind one of the aisle shelves. Her back came against the shelf and her bottom sunk until the dry, airy squish hit the floor. She angled a new story on her knees sitting close to her chest. And yet, even when trying to read something that she knew would hurt her, life wouldn’t even let have that self-destruction. With ears too pristine for their own good, Dawn had the displeasure of hearing Dayna start all over again with the newest cut of fresh meat. “Hi there, Kailey! My name is Dayna.” “Hi…” A quiet, demure voice answered back. “Sounds like your Mommy’s gonna be a little busy; do you like stories?” “Yeah…” The girl, Kailey, was it? She sounded shy and reserved. And after Dawn’s far too close encounter with that guy in diapers down the street… Why was she shy? Embarrassed, or just emulating that same kid-like behavior that came with meeting new people? Whatever it was, Kailey must have been a breath of fresh air for Dayna. Since it sounded like she followed the script, the librarian cheered without reservation. “Well~! I love stories. And I bet if you tell me something that you really like, I think I can…” And finally Dawn could tune them out. Good riddance. Still, she dropped the book, trying to stay quiet. The shelf to put it back would mean showing herself to them, and that she wasn’t a fan of. But she wasn’t shy, of course. She just wanted to be left alone, just like she told Dayna earlier. Carefully she stood back up and softly crinkled her way deeper into the tiny maze. Or in other words she went one bookshelf deeper to the far left reach of the corner, positioning herself somewhere between the white picket fence and shelf. I’ll just put the other one back later… Dawn sufficed, leaving the story she brought with her on the floor and reaching over for a new book to disappoint herself with. At this point she’d kill for just an informational text. Something without characters, a plot, or anything else whatsoever. A dictionary, an atlas; something that didn’t have the opportunities to be exploited as a mockery of fiction. But she didn’t have that, so the best she could do was try not to think too deeply on the content, and instead hang on to enough information that’d at least convince Katherine into thinking she found something. If only she were actually “reading” though. This wasn’t reading. The characters didn’t matter, and neither did the story. The more she absorbed and observed, the text only felt more and more superficial. Good stories were written to tell a tale and promote a message second. This was the reverse. It was all busy traffic of vehicles in different shapes and sizes focused on delivering a message first and foremost. What did the charming prince matter if the princess he rescued rewarded his efforts with a nursery locked away in her tower? Sleeping beauty wasn’t about the heroism of a savior, but just an easy dressing to promote the importance of naps. It was all so fake and so obvious, yet she had nothing fair to compare it to. This is all this place was? Propaganda? And to think, Dawn turned her head, peering through the mesh lining in between the plastic etched posts along the fence. Tall, mighty bookshelves with actual information. Real authors. Real stories. Real enjoyment and excitement. Christ, the bookshelves’ intricate wooden carvings told more of a story than the cardboard in her hands! Meanwhile, Dawn’s hand planted itself on the smooth, textureless heavy-duty page, retrieved from an elementary school shelf. It wasn’t the paper she knew and it wasn’t the feeling she appreciated. With a sad puff she kicked out her feet, laying out her legs straight. How long was she supposed to keep doing this? Maybe if it was something she actually wanted to read, she could bear with it, but being stuck like this…? Maybe if Katherine can change the rules, Dawn could try begging for a book to bring back… But that was for later, and this was now. Now rightfully so, sucked. She blinked, finally noticing the odd one out in her peripherals. The moment she raised her head, the anomaly jerked itself out of view, though not without the whiplash of her straight hair waving out and back in. Dawn quietly stared at the corner of the bookshelf for a moment longer. She was totally just being watched, wasn’t she? Someone was staring at her? Then it clicked. The only person she knew of in this tiny reeducation camp hardly cared about any discretion… Dawn squeezed her legs a bit closer together. Someone else was here, though. Someone that already sounded shy. Someone that Dawn didn’t want to deal with. She stayed quiet, staring not for something, but because that’s where her eyes last were. Miraculously, the girl peeked again, only now she did make a small yelp once eye contact with Dawn was unavoidable. Great. She was being watched. Where was Dayna? Couldn’t she keep her away? And to make matters worse, Dawn could already feel the tinge from needing to pee. Was this really how things were going to go? After an inward sigh, Dawn called out, “Kailey?” That’s her name, right? “You don’t have to keep hiding…?” Immediately a switch was flipped. Faster than her face could hide, Kailey’s head shot out completely, and then some of her lower body too. “You know my name?” Kailey asked loud and clear, like indoors and outdoors were the same to her. Still sitting on the floor, Dawn blinked, not sure how to react. “...Uh…yeah. I heard it earlier…” Maybe she had a poor choice of words, or her tone gave off the wrong vibe. Either way, Kailey fully stepped out from the shelf now, hiding her hands behind her back. Her shoulders shifted pensively as her feet in yellow buckle-strapped sandals pitter-pattered forward, finally stopping on a dime with just about a couple feet apart from them. Then a finger from Kailey singled Dawn out completely, still hiding her other arm behind her back. With her pointing accusation she asked, “What’s your name?” “It’s Dawn…” When did I invite her to get so close? Apparently communication meant consent to this girl. The discomfort and awkwardness only grew once Kailey parked herself right where she stood. And in a moment of carelessness, the grown woman with her knees wide apart flashed what was between her legs, and it was an upsetting sight to see. Underneath the yellow of her sundress was an unmistakable bulge of white; a pair of underwear that crinkled just like Dawn’s, except this Little hardly seemed to mind. Finally she crossed her legs, but where her dress settled between her legs was where it could rest comfortably and conform around the slight bump. “Whatcha doin?” Kailey asked. Dawn almost thought she was being playful, like a lackadaisical friend, but no matter what she said, the much more modest of the two couldn’t misplace the sincerity she seemed to have. She sounded innocent and careless, like…she wasn’t all there. Almost like… “Uh…” The unusual exchange was enough to make Dawn actually forget. She glanced down at her lap, reminding herself what was there. “Just…reading.” “What’s it about? Is it about frogs?” her question came on a dime, and the second sentence made her eyes light up. Frogs? Why would she even ask about that? “No, it’s…er…” What even was this supposed to be about? Well, as stated earlier, what it was “about” wasn’t actually the case, so more aptly, what was it disguised as? “It’s about…birds. Yeah.” Birds getting ready for a big dinner with their hedgehog friends… How exciting. Off in the distance Dawn could hear a couple more voices. Were more people showing up already? “Oh.” Kailey answered quite simply. Clearly her interest had not been piqued. “My name’s Kailey! I like frogs!” she giggled, and Dawn nodded. “Uhm…nice to meet you, Kailey. I’m Dawn…” With their reintroductions finished, Kailey immediately started the next topic. “Why’re you here? My Mommy’s doing important research stuff, she said.” “I’m here because…mine works here.” “Your Mommy works here?!” Kailey exclaimed and rocked forward on her behind. Her head started to wander up to the ceiling as she looked around frantically, pointing out an empty rail in the ceiling. “Does she talk to the book robots?” The more she heard, the more Dawn was quickly realizing this was the exact kind of person she didn’t want to run into. Another person like that kid– that former adult from down the street… Another victim. It hurt just to see and hear her… “She helps fix them, I guess, yeah…” This woman was just a product of the world. She was part of what scared and angered Dawn so much. But as much of a product she was, so too was she a victim. “What…what does your owner do?” Sure she’d follow the rule to refer to Katherine as her mother, but no one said that she couldn’t afford her peers some form of dignity/? “Owner?” Kailey tilted her head, then giggled, “That’s weird! My Mommy makes people not sick! She can fix anybody! One time, she fixed a boo-boo on my knee!” And with a demonstration, Kailey lifted her knee, hiking up her dress well enough to show her spotless knee, save for a little red tint. But of course, Dawn couldn’t not see her stylized diaper, covered in frogs and all. Certainly there was a pattern… So her owner was a doctor? Interesting. Someone so successful would trouble themselves with enslaving another human being. For someone so committed to helping others, in what way did warping another person’s mind count for that? “That’s cool,” Dawn tried to stay flexible, and avoid looking at her diaper. “So she works at a hospital?” “Uhh…” Kailey hummed, sounding uncertain. “She…works atta place where people get better!” “Ohh, okay,” Dawn nodded. So…a hospital? “Do you have a Daddy?” What was with the twenty questions? Dawn didn’t want to do any thinking, nor did she feel like talking. She felt bad turning the woman away, but also not at the same time for the sake of herself. “Uhm, Kailey?” Dawn scooched back against the shelf, just to stand herself back up. “It was nice meeting you, but uh…do you think I could have some privacy?” “Huh? Why?” Did she really need to explain social boundaries? To a woman clearly in her twenties…? In her twenties, but in diapers, too… “I’m busy reading right now…and I can’t really focus when we’re talking… Do you mind?” “Can I be quiet?” Kailey asked. Be quiet and stay. And before Dawn answered, her bladder twinged again. Fuck. Why did she have to drink anything at all? Couldn’t she just live off of air, just so she didn’t have to take anything in and put anything out? Cue the other noisy, energetic voices across the shelves. All of them, adults, more than likely, and that was enough to make Dawn even more unsettled. “Don’t you wanna go play with the…other people? I’m not really doing anything fun.” “But Dayna said you’d wanna?” And in a burst of disbelief, Dawn exclaimed, “What?” What did Dayna say? “She…said…” and Kailey brought her hands together pensively. The amount and kind of emotion Dawn had used clearly caught the woman-toddler by surprise. “W-wait, nevermind,” Dawn tried to dismiss the tension. “I was just surprised, is all. Thanks for telling me… But sorry, I’m not really looking to play.” Or hang out. Or socialize. The girl’s eyes were wandering anywhere but Dawn’s face, too nervous to confront a basic misunderstanding. “Okay…are you mad at me?” “No, I’m not mad. Just…can you please leave me alone?” However old Kailey was, it didn’t change her attitude. It really was like a kid’s. Why was she acting like a kid? Reason or not, dealing with an effective child, essentially shooing them away… It felt weird. “Okay…” Kailey, quite dejected, stood herself up and waddled away, taking Dawn’s less than satisfied mood with her, leaving her with something worse. Don’t feel bad… It’s better she stays involved with whatever sick fantasy she’s been forced into… Better to keep to myself. After all, none of this would last forever. It was all temporary. Absolutely. Without a doubt. She went back to her book, finding happiness once more with being reunited with her loneliness. The “enjoyment” she was starting to get out of her reading was spotting the devices and traps that supposedly tricked people into believing what they wrote, or what they didn’t. The birds went tweet-tweet. The cows went moo. Amazons were portrayed as some godlike figure, or the ex-machina that made everything all good again, at least in the stories that included humans. Amazons seemed to be the solution. So. Many. Times. The resolution always led to relying on a giant somehow, or some higher power… Tell an “adult,” or “get a grownup.” Some were seemingly basic, while others came off as far more targeted. Midway into her next skim, a shadow started to loom over her. “What.” Dawn, finding it far easier to tiptoe around her words with an Amazon, looked up at Dayna. The same person that was spewing lies at other Littles to try and get her to do something. “Looks like you’ve been reading quite a bit!” she remarked with a smile. “...” Dawn glanced over at her growing pile. “Yeah.” “What do you say we have a juice break?” Dayna asked with a bottle already extended. “Uh, no thanks. All good.” Though her bladder wasn’t. Not like she was telling that to Dayna, though. “Mmm,” a deliberate, disagreeing hum came from her caretaker, “How about we hydrate just a little bit, hon? Lots of liquids are important for kiddos like you!” “No thanks, I’m fine,” Dawn repeated, and Dayna’s smile and demeanor didn’t budge. “Dawn? I’d like you to have some juice, sweetie.” And thinking better on it, the Little presented with a one-answer choice finally huffed, closing the boring book and finally accepted the bottle she wanted nothing to do with. It was a one-two punch, of course. One was more of a burden on her bladder, which was only becoming more uncomfortable. Two was the much more situational problem, which was… “While you’re drinking that, how about you come over to the circle? We’re gonna start a story!” she tempted, and Dawn didn’t bite. Regardless, it meant having to leave her corner because now with a drink she didn’t ask for, it meant not being allowed to touch anything herself… How cruel. “No. I’ll drink the juice, but I’m not interested.” And she promptly turned back for her seat. But before she could walk away, a hand hooked on her pants and diaper. Another surprise diaper check. “Hey!” Dawn spun around with another mean look. “I said you didn’t have permission for that!” “I think I do, sweetie. Your Mommy asked me to watch you while she’s at work. I’m checking everyone else? Don’t you want to stay clean too?” “And I will be clean because I don’t piss myself!” In a moment of frustration, Dawn overstepped her verbiage. “Dawn?” Dayna frowned, and Dawn stiffened. “Do I need to remind you about being on your best behavior? We said we were going to be good for Mommy today, weren’t we?” We were going to be good? As far as Dawn was concerned, her end of the bargain was still being followed. Dayna? She was just being a bitch that had no business getting in the way of that! Really? Was she going to be the arbiter of whether Dawn did or did not get what she shouldn’t even need to earn? “Fine!” Dawn huffed, marching forward and ahead of Dayna. No matter what though, this woman would undoubtedly be getting a poor review. Christ, complaining to Katherine about anything was barely even fifty-fifty. If she couldn’t stick up for herself, what recourse was there?! She emerged into the clearing, the dreaded circle. Standing by the rocking chair she spotted Kailey again, only now she was giggling on her knees, busy with three other adult children. Two boys and one other girl. All fully matured. Muscles and breasts yet again. And just like those were a given, so too were the snug clothes for the boys that either showed off the white plastic waistbands sneaking through their shorts or the fully exposed diaper peeking from underneath a far too short skirt. Not a single book between them was to be found, and instead what looked like action figures and dolls. Self-sourced toys? A gentle hand on her shoulder nudged Dawn forward and away from the chair, or the accursed throne where Dayna just sat. “Okay, kids! Who’s ready for a story!” And in a resounding cheer, all four Littles, Dawn excluded, yelped, “Meeeee!!” “Okay!” Dayna chuckled, still getting that same high all obedient Littles probably gave her. “Let’s make a circle! Criss-cross applesauce, everyone!” “Dawn!” Kailey was quick to waddle-jog over to her, crinkling like a thunderstorm. The moment they came face to face, the difference in height came slightly in Kailey’s favor. Her smile was wide and her eyes were shining, overjoyed to see the one and only adult at heart again. “Can we sit together?” “Oh! Did you make a friend, Dawn?” Dayna smiled from the rocking chair, and Dawn fought from making a dirty look. She damn well knew what she did. Focusing back on Kailey, Dawn at this point didn’t have so much more to lose. For now. “Uh…yeah? Sure?” An excited giggle came from the girl who didn’t hesitate in taking Dawn by the wrist. “I wanna sit on the circle!” she declared, and Dawn went confused while she was dragged over to a spot. Weren’t they already going to sit in the circle? Then her mature mind was able to look down one level lower once she realized how literal Kailey was being. On the circle. One of the circles patterned on the carpet… The other Littles assembled on either end of them, but clearly Kailey had found them the best seats in the house. In the Learning Corner, in other words. Right in front of them now was Dayna, already grabbing the first large book off a high table right next to her. “Okay, are we all comfy?” Dayna surveyed the small group. “Everyone ready?” “Yeeessss!” Another cry in unison. Dawn briefly turned her head out to the exit, where now she could see a few more strangers. Looking at books on faraway shelves. Doing things she actually wished for. And yet here she was, trapped with a bunch of other kids for story time. “Okay… This story is called, ‘Jumping Jeremy’s Fun Day Out!’” Dayna slowly read the cover, and then with both hands she turned the book, showing the whole audience the front cover’s illustration. Kailey’s hip knocked into Dawn’s as she bounced with glee. In a loud voice she giggled excitedly, “Froggies!” Oh. Frogs are her favorite

It's always fun setting expectations for the characters, then trying to figure out all the creative ways to totally upset them, haha. Sometimes it's not as clever, but I really do enjoy setting all the pieces to make one big grand failure! So just possibly, that might include brainstorming on how to include Emily on a particular outing... Thank you for the kind words! Always love getting to read comments! The things they will cook up...! Certainly excited to see the gears turn for that. Isabelle being a mommy is a fun and interesting challenge, because I'd like to carve out her character into someone similar to Joyce, but distinct with her own fun qualities, as well as a slightly different brand on mommying, possibly! In a funny way, she might be able to be a mentor of sorts for Joyce. And a very good idea! Gotta keep the kiddos busy somehow while the adults are talking.

45 - Something Leaks in the Night Being upset about something makes it impossible to appreciate any possible alternative. Frankly, Isabelle had shocked her system that night to the point where she was scared straight, if only for now. It was that same person Joyce did not want to interact with anymore, hence why it aggravated her being the one to reach back out to her, if nothing else but for ending things amicably. But why was she the one having to make the call? Isabelle wronged her. Isabelle surprised and embarrassed the secret, but not so secret, Mommy. If Joyce was on the receiving end of cruelty then apologies and efforts should be going the same way, shouldn’t they? And yet, had Isabelle been the one calling her, the narrative would shift to be about this woman having the audacity to stir the hornet’s nest more than she already had. It was a lose-lose situation. And Joyce just primed the streak to continue once she finally dialed the number and gave in. Maybe she wouldn’t pick up, or miss the call completely. That’d be nice. Very nice. Plausible deniability was probably the best gift this stranger could give Joyce. A clear conscience from making the honest effort to reconnect, but without any of the actual work that went into being the bigger person. One buzz. Two buzz? Three…? Four…!-- “Hello?” It’d been more than a bit since that night and they only spoke once, but Joyce’s lingering grin flatlined completely at the sound of her voice. “...Isabelle? This is Joyce,” she answered formally. Because it was just a phone call, they could have been lightyears apart, yet the tiny gasp from Isabelle on the other line sent all the same chills over Joyce as if they were sharing a booth together all over again. “Joyce?! I almost thought you weren’t going to call!” Probably because I wasn’t planning on it… “Well, when I heard from a friend that you were trying to reach me…” against her better judgment, “I figured I would at least hear you out.” “I’m glad my message got through! I spoke with the host of the event and tried to get your contact information. I’ve had some time to think about what I did, and…I definitely got carried away.” “I would agree.” “Even though it was that kind of event, I asked you some personal questions that made things uncomfortable…” “Yes, you did.” “I owe you an apology; I’m very sorry about that night!” Isabelle was apologizing, and Joyce was annoyed over having to contemplate. Did thanking her for it create the implication that all was well again? It certainly wouldn’t be. So what, ‘thanks for the apology, but that doesn’t undo all the stress you’ve caused?’ Is that an appropriate answer? Toddlers in daycare always had to make amends. By the teacher’s decree, no apology could go unaccepted. But unlike certain cute girlfriends in diapers, Joyce and many other adults didn’t have to answer to a higher authority. Ultimately, an apology hardly did much, but it was enough of a bandage to close the chapter on this and cause to finally forget. Not to mention, with her treat waiting on her out in the living room, likely half-asleep by now in her jammies, being kept from that didn’t exactly ease the tension over the phone. “Well, I appreciate it.” She appreciated it as much as the script told her to. “I can tell that you’re still upset,” Isabelle mentioned so tactlessly, and Joyce tried not to make an aggravated noise. Of course I’m still angry! And don’t just call that out! Don’t you get how stupid that is?! It just makes this even more awkward…! “I would be too!” Isabelle ushered in not more than a second later, like it somehow made things better. “You have every right to be mad at me, but I’ve been so excited since I first saw you!” Whatever supposed remorse Isabelle had been carrying herself to show, on a dime it felt like she was no longer cognisant of any committed wrongdoing whatsoever. Fascination? Excitement? For what? A sight that was seldom seen? A person with a reputation on the line, sticking themselves out for once so willingly and so foolishly jumping straight into the shark pit? It was all entertainment to this woman. Watching Joyce squirm, picking her brain just because, and this phone call now was just to get one last kick at rubbing it in a dull wound. “Isabelle, thank you for calling.” Hardly. “But respectfully, please do not call me–” And in a sudden outburst, one that slipped right by Joyce’s radar, Isabelle interrupted with a gleeful laugh, “--I’m a mommy too!” It slipped right by Joyce. Right by, then back around and struck her squarely in the back of her head. The imaginary blow was so strong that it transcended into reality by slightly forcing Joyce’s back off the behind of her seat. She heard what she heard, but…was that actually what was said? “E…excuse me?” “I should’ve opened up with that…!” Isabelle groaned, openly lamenting over a silly blunder, one that shifted Joyce from pure anger to partially confused. “Joyce, are you still there?” Was she? Physically and digitally, she was, but the mental battlefield was a place Joyce had been suffering continuous losses as of late. “Yes…” cautiously, she answered, “I am.” “Did you hear what I said? I said I’m–” “Yes, I heard you!” Joyce stammered right back. Was this just a trick? Just to get back in Joyce’s good graces? “A…and?” “And?” Isabelle repeated right back. “And…it’s the whole reason why I wanted to speak with you! I was certainly excited when we first met; I’ve been involved in that sphere for so long that I tend to be a bit more casual about things that others might find a bit more sensitive, so I’m sorry for that as well…” Isabelle was all energy and burning fuel. She had the spirit of a child that couldn’t stop running their mouth. All the spunk and glamor Joyce would love to see in Emily, only in this case it was channeled into an adult that was seriously pressing boundaries. But Joyce was a skeptic by nature, even when she was knocked off her game. Isabelle, a complete stranger that could be so forthcoming and invasive, disrespecting limits and making matters uncomfortable, was now claiming to be like Joyce? “If I’m being completely honest, I think I had you figured out a little after we started chatting,” Isabelle added nonchalantly, and thankfully Joyce in the privacy of herself was allowed to make a perturbed face. “You had me figured out?” Maybe in work she could get a read on people and their intentions, but discerning their interests? “It’s nothing to be worried about!” Isabelle laughed with herself, and Joyce was trying not to scream. What about this was funny? And Christ…! Why wasn’t she just hanging up already?! “Joyce, hon, I know this must be new for you, so please hear me out!” “This…I’m fine, alright? Stuff like this doesn’t bother me. You’re just…you’re being very forward right now.” “Hmm? Ah! So that means at the restaurant, those animal tails that go up the–” “Stop!” Joyce cried the spiel into silence, only for a new wave of laughs to boil right over it, all at Joyce’s expense yet again. Her trembling hands held the phone away just to hear her bully’s laughter less. So much for putting on a front. Despite it making her look weak, Joyce hoped for an objective reminder as to why Isabelle thought that they were in any way alike. “See? You are new to this! Joyce, Joyce! I’m not trying to tease you! I’m being honest with you, so do the same with me!” Finally with some backbone, Joyce spoke up. “Honest? What are you talking about? You’ve done nothing but terrorize me, try to contact me through someone else, and now you’re just trying to get closer to me to laugh some more? You do know that I can hang up this call, right?” “Aye! Okay, okay! I’m sorry! I lost track again!” And after a pause, she sounded a bit more grounded. “Joyce, I just wanted you to know that I wanted to get closer to you because we like the same things?” “Joyce…?” Suddenly, a distant voice behind a door called. Briefly, she muttered to Isabelle, “I need a minute.” And having lived the horror once already, Joyce didn’t make the same mistake as last time by putting the call on hold. She huffed, trying to cool down before standing up from her chair, then strolled over to the door. “What’s up, cupcake?” Joyce smiled down at Emily from the half-open door. Emily wasn’t smiling, partly because it felt like she was putting herself out on a limb that hadn’t been ventured before. For all she knew, Joyce was having a work discussion. Or was it still with that Isabelle person? Was she allowed to interrupt that? Would Joyce be angry? “Is everything okay?” Joyce, however, didn’t stop smiling as she caressed Emily’s cheek then adjusted the collar on her sleeper. “Sorry; Mommy was being a bit noisy, huh?” Now she was bothering Emily? Splendid, another reason to be pissy with Isabelle. “No, I mean…I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.” And just for good measure, Emily’s hand drifted over for Joyce’s. After squeezing her five digits right back, Joyce said, “Yes, it is. I’m just…letting someone know that I didn’t like something that they did.” “Uh-huh…” Emily nodded, accepting it for what it was. Mhm. She’s angry. “Did you need some more milk?” Joyce leaned on her toes, peering past Emily’s head to somehow spot an empty bottle. “No, not yet,” Emily said right back, and Joyce smirked. “Yet?” And Emily’s face spasmed once she realized what she said. “N-no, I don’t need more!” Emily huffed, pressing on Joyce’s stomach and forcing her back into the office. “Just hurry up already!” “Okay, okay…!” her mommy laughed as she let herself slide inside. “Oh, wait! One more thing!” Joyce begged as she spun around, and Emily dropped her hands, waiting for what she wanted. And Joyce lunged forward with her hands, snatching Emily by her sides and gripping the fabric of her pajamas. Then with a look of pure satisfaction, she tugged and lifted, stretching Emily’s cuddly bodysuit until the crotch was as taught as could be, treating her to a wonderful bulge. Some people liked to see panty lines, but mommies loved curves that crinkled. “J-Joyce!” Emily slipped back, or tried to. “Sorry, you’re just too cute!” she laughed, sneaking one last swat on Emily’s blind spot as she ran away, retreating to her fortress of pillows, cushions and blankets. “Behave~!” she jovially warned once the black head of hair whipped around the corner. Then she shut the door again, now a bit more tempered. “Hello? Isabelle?” Joyce opened up the line again. Isabelle was ready and prompt. “Hey there again! Am I interrupting something?” “Yes. You are,” Joyce spoke much less kindly, and Isabelle took it in stride with another chuckle. “Mm, well, I don’t want to be an enemy, Joyce! I just wanted to be able to meet again?” “And meet for what? I accept your apology, Isabelle. There, can we leave it at that?” “Did you forget where we met? I do have projects, Joyce. I was scouting is all, and I think you’d be perfect!” “I somehow don’t think I’d be…” Given that their energy levels seemed to be in diametrically opposed places, nothing Isabelle seemed to say could be received without some form of skepticism. “And you won’t be thinking that once we have some more time to talk! Fine! It doesn’t even have to be about business, okay? Can’t I treat you to something as a formal apology? You and a special someone, maybe?” “Are we finished now?” “Okay, okay! Just you!” Isabelle cried, back to playing up her emotions. “Gosh, you must be one of those stern types…” “I appreciate the offer with trying to meet, but I don’t live in the same state as where we met,” and thank goodness for that. “And that’s fine! Just let me know where and I’ll make it happen!” Or in other words, location and cost was seemingly of no issue. Joyce was quietly raising her brow. “Isabelle, look, really, I appreciate you wanting to make amends, but I really don’t think–” “You’ll be interested, I promise! What’s the harm? I just want an hour of your time, and I’m willing to pay for all the expenses! If you really weren’t interested, wouldn’t you have hung up by now?” And calling her out like that certainly gave her reason to. But foolishly, she didn’t. She didn’t bother hiding her sigh from the woman on the other end. “How…how soon?” “Oh, nothing immediate? I think we might both be a bit busy… How about this: I’ll figure something out, and you just let me know if that works! Thank you for hearing me out, Joyce! I promise you won’t regret it!” “Uh-huh…” already regretting it, Joyce answered. Isabelle had made the grand reveal that she was a “mommy,” and as revolutionary as that normally may have been, the woman had just about squandered every spec of shock it could’ve given. Her personality had just about ruined it all. By all accounts Joyce should’ve been intrigued and over the moon, yet that was the least seemingly “real” thing she was taking stock in right now. “And don’t forget; if you want, you can bring your partner!--” And quite deftly, Joyce’s phone beeped as she hung up the call. “Nope. Told you I’d do it…” Joyce kicked back from her desk and sprung from her chair. Somehow she was still involved with Isabelle. Great. Great? Not so great. Who knows. Joyce could only exhale and try to ignore whatever doubts she was having, no matter how likely they were. But at least for now she was allowed to forget about some of it. She could tune out the madness for a little bit longer and focus on what she wanted to. “Emily!” Joyce sang down the hall. “Mommy needs cuddles!” “Ugh…I wish I didn’t have to go to work tomorrow…” Joyce sighed, taking the lead and sitting on the bed. Emily was paused by the doorway, fidgeting uncomfortably as she closed her eyes, fumbling with her hands. “It’s safe to go pee-pee on the bed, you know?” Joyce chuckled, enjoying the sight. “I-I know…!” Emily hissed just when the hissing noise stopped coming from her diaper. “Ugh…” and she pouted as she spun her head around her back, noting the fabric of her sleeper expanding and rounding out of her protection. “Why does it have to be so snug?” “So it brings out all your cute curves?” Joyce explained normally for a second, then she couldn’t help but laugh once Emily gave her a death glare. “What? I’m not lying!” “I don’t like your idea of curves…” Emily kept it at that, stealing a glance at the curves she liked on Joyce, then frowning at the ones around her own crotch. Luckily the apartment was well-ventilated, otherwise the inside of her diaper would’ve been a sauna. “What happens if I need to pee tonight and I know I’m gonna leak?” she went on the grunt, pulling at the back of her pajamas. “I won’t be able to take this thing off!” “You won’t leak,” Joyce casually dismissed her concern, “and the pajamas are meant to be Emily-proofed, honey. Keeps tykes like you from trying to play with the potty. Kinda like this morning?” “I was gonna do it in my…! In my you-know-what!” Emily puffed with some air in her chest, marching over with a dampened crinkle and leaping on the bed. Luckily a diapered behind made for a perfect place for a hand to push her the full way on the mattress. Courtesy of Mommy, of course. “Your you-know-what definitely got used,” Joyce remarked with a giggle. “Are you sure we didn’t watch a scary movie?” Though, her hand did press a tiny bit. Maybe a change wouldn’t be the worst idea… “You would know,” Emily grunted from behind Pip. “I know you like them, so why can’t we watch them? I can handle it!” “And yet each time that somehow leads to nightmares,” Joyce sighed, also remembering her as quite the cuddle bug, for better and worse. “Didn’t we talk about dropping this whole ‘big kid’ business? I’m not gonna pretend like I magically forgot all your quirks, sweetie.” “Nope. Forgot,” Emily said as her waist took a weighty swing, thick wet diaper and all just to get on her back. “Forgot?” Joyce gasped with faux surprise. “Then I guess I should remind you?” “No…that’s okay.” “Ah– See? That’s why I can’t leave you alone for so long!” Joyce tutted. “See, the good girl I know and love always knew that she should follow Mommy’s rules. Where did my good girl go?” “She never existed,” Emily deflected, reaching up for the sky and finding Joyce’s hands smothering them. “Oh I know she did, and I know she still does! Secondly, my good girl knew she shouldn’t be watching scary movies. Frankly, you’re tempting me to make it a taboo subject altogether?” “Nooo! It’s fine! I’m being serious!” “And I’m not?” Joyce reeled back with a hand against her chest. “The good, cute little girl that I know wouldn’t fuss with Mommy when she said something? The adorable Emily that I know wouldn’t go playing with the potty. And my cute, irresistibly adorable baby girl,” she pressed on Emily’s thick, fortified front, “wouldn’t care one bit on what’s happening in their diaper?” And Emily gave Joyce a hard look, one which Joyce was being oppositely as soft and receiving toward. Emily just wasn’t landing her hits and was being exploited with each and every dodge or misfire. “Oh, how was your phone call with Isabelle?” It was an instant frown from Joyce, like getting splashed with cold water. Joyce stood up from the bed and started rolling Emily like a ball over to the pillows. “H-h-H-h-hey!” Emily giggled with each tumble and roll, finally crashing into the cushions. Joyce turned and disappeared strutting away. “And my cute baby wouldn’t bring up boring things Mommy didn’t like talking about…!” she shouted from halfway down the hall. Soon she was back with a bottle of milk, forcing it on Emily before she could bring up anything unpleasant again. “Cahn I ask abouht it later?” Emily mumbled from behind the nipple. “Mm…” Joyce contemplated. “Maybe. But not now. Drink. And only talk about cute stuff. That’s an order.” “From big bossy Joyce?” Emily giggled, pulling the bottle out. “From big bossy Mommy,” Joyce stuck out her lip, pushing the bottle right back in. “New rule: if you don’t have anything cute to say, then don’t say it at all.” Emily freed her mouth once again. Took a deep breath, and then…! “PFFFTBBBBB…!” she flapped with her wet tongue in a buzzzy noise. “And you are so…so lucky those pajamas are protecting you…” Joyce looked down on Emily with pure pretend disdain; the smaller girl fighting a fit of laughter. Had her stomach been bare and accessible, she would’ve shown Emily just what a real raspberry sounded like. God help the poor girl if Joyce didn’t forget about it this time come tomorrow. “Well, now that you’ve just about broken every rule imaginable, how about we hop off to bed?” “Mmm…okay,” Emily hummed, acting like she had a choice. And off to bed they went. For…only so long. Late in the night Emily was awake, but not comfortably or willingly so. She quietly moaned with an all too familiar ache in her bladder. Stupid milk…! She looked down at the bottle with still a quarter of contents left in it, but the other three were apparently looking to leave her body now. Joyce, expectedly, was slumbering away, close against Emily with her arm over her like a safety rail. And while she may have been quiet, asleep and oblivious, that didn’t excuse her from the trouble and turmoil she was causing Emily right then. Peeing in the middle of the night was never fun, and unfortunately it was starting to be something that picked up in frequency as of late. Maybe she had so many continuous baby days to thank for that… But this was her situation, and now she had to deal with it. And regretfully, deal with it she would. Without a way of taking off her own pajamas, holding her diaper to her skin like a prison, she had no other choice than to deal if it meant getting back to sleep. She slightly stretched, feeling the snug gatherers on her ankles slide up her skin, bringing the butt of her diaper closer and closer as it compressed her padding just to maintain shape. Carefully she snaked her leg out of the grip between Joyce’s thighs, who in her sleep managed to roll partially the other way, unperturbed. Emily did the same, now staring up at the ceiling. Sighing again, she lifted her knees for the easiest position she could manage, and surely, not so slowly, she coaxed out a trickle and quickly into a stream. Exhaling for a whole other reason, the warmth spread like any liquid would fill a container, and with Emily’s skin as the surface, she could feel every inch of it spread around her. Some was quickly absorbed, and some took a bit longer, left freely to roam around her hips and underneath her bum as the mess reached as far as it could before being swallowed by the sponge surrounding it. And it was…relaxing. Sort of. Almost like flipping a pillow over just to feel the cool side. It was a knot of stress she could unwind and immediately reap the rewards of comfort once again, like a sweet reminder for the pleasure that there was in slumber. The warmth was nice, and spreading. And spreading…and…spreading…? Emily laid still, though she slightly stretched out her legs, bringing them close to the mattress. Yet the moment she did, her thighs touched the back legs of her pajamas, and the feeling was warm. Warm and wet. Half asleep and experiencing a whole new sensation, Emily’s hand drifted down below, lightly touching where it felt strange. Wet. Very wet, but not where it should be. She lifted her hand up to her nose, hesitant, but inspecting it, and once she smelled it she– “J-Joyce…?” Emily murmured, whispered, stuttered and clammered. She was laying on her side now like her life depended on it, hugging against Joyce desperately close, just so she didn’t fall back where it’d been… “J-Joyce…?” she whispered urgently, trying to stay calm. “P-please? Please wake up? Joyce?” And finally, Joyce moaned with her eyes still closed. “Hnnn… Emily…?” she whispered tiredly, reaching out and finding Emily’s face by pure coincidence. “J-Joyce…I…I had a…” She had a sniffle, though that wasn’t what she was hoping to report. “Baby…? What’s wrong?” she mumbled with a hush and pulled Emily’s head in, finally opening her eyes. “Is everything okay? What…what was that? Did you have a nightmare?” If only it was just a simple bad dream. Instead she was living a reality that was wet and gross, and she had to be the one that owned up to it. But Joyce’s hand that always liked to situate itself on her back drifted a little too low, finding the shift from Emily’s diaper to her legs, then paused the moment her hand left dry shores. “Emily…?” she tiredly mumbled, “I…I think you leaked…?” And sniffling, she felt the poor girl nod against her shoulder. As tired as Joyce was, somehow that didn’t seem to deter her protocol. “Okay…shh…okay. Hey, it’s alright?” she shushed and cooed, and Emily fought the tears of shame. “I…I told you I was gonna leak…!” she quietly sobbed, and Joyce swung her legs out and off the bed so she could stand. Right after she dragged Emily over to the safe side and stood her up. “Shh…it’s okay. It happens, alright?” Joyce tried to soothe her as Emily continued to suffer, now feeling the wet clothing against her legs much more clearly now. That brief moment of warmth beyond her diaper was gone now, whisked away by the room temperature and already feeling cool and cold to the touch. “I feel gross…!” Emily continued to cry, and Joyce pulled her in for a hug, managing to multitask at the same time as she flicked off the cloth flap hiding Emily’s confining zipper. She’d certainly ruined it. Amy’s wonderful clothing. How would they explain that? Asking for a new set of pajamas because Emily peed all over her last set? It made her stomach ache from just imagining the embarrassment on top of trying to digest the very real stuff she was going through now. “I bet it feels yucky…” Joyce agreed, but moved Emily along and into the bathroom. She was feeling more awake, but her eyes certainly were not ready for the flashbang. “Okay, close your eyes for me, okay?” Emily did, but it still wasn’t invincible against the bright light assaulting her eyelids. Joyce was squinting as she rested her backside against the countertop, clearly seeing the dark patches that’d crept down Emily’s legs. She certainly had leaked, and not by a very small margin. “I-is it bad?” Emily hiccupped, already starting to turn her head, but Joyce’s clean hand directed her by the cheek to keep on staring into the shower. “No, it’s fine…shh… It’s not that bad, okay? It feels a lot worse than it looks…” Probably not, though. It probably felt just about one-to-one, but Emily didn’t need to know about the aftermath. Now Joyce was slightly concerned about how the bed was going to look… “I-I’m sorry…!” Emily whimpered, despite being the one that warned, and Joyce ignored. “Baby, it’s not your fault…” Joyce squeezed her for a hug, kissing her. “I know you feel yucky, but if you wanna blame anyone, just blame me. Now don’t worry; you’re gonna feel great again in just a few minutes. Let Mommy work her magic, okay?” And while Emily was trembling, she sort of nodded. She felt Joyce’s hand on her back as the zipper revved with a buzz as it traveled down the tracks, parting the fabric once held together and trapping Emily inside. “Were you having any good dreams?” Joyce asked, doing her best to play the distraction game. “I…I dunno…” Was she? Probably not. It was going to sleep, waking up needing to pee, and now this. “Mhm…?” Joyce hummed, listening attentively. Whether Emily had little or a lot to say, every word mattered. “Can I tell you about a dream I was having?” Joyce was careful in rolling down the pajamas, spreading them as far as she could just to hide the wet material from Emily’s skin. “Step out for me?” The lack of an undercarriage support now meant Emily had to endure the weight of her own waste all on her own now. Her diaper felt swollen and heavy. The wings on her waist laid snuggly against her skin as the thick crotch hung weightily between her legs. While she couldn’t see it, the slight discoloration was beginning to bleed through the white spots on her diaper. “Step out?” Joyce asked, and with one shaky foot after the other, Emily naked for the most part was clutching her chest in tears. “I had this really funny dream!” Joyce chuckled, and after enough whispering coos, she stepped Emily over the rim and into the tub. “You remember those cute sea otters we saw at the zoo? Gosh, that feels so long ago…!” “Y-yeah…” Emily sulked, feeling the uncomfy, raw sort of feeling on the back of her thighs. “Well, of all people, Pip was the queen of them! Or…wait, I guess the king,” she paused to deliberate, but ultimately laughing. “You get the point! The lord, or whatever, of them! He had a big crown and everything…” Joyce said as she turned on the faucet. “Now Emily,” she knelt by the edge of the tub, touching Emily’s shoulder where she was squatting. “Do you need to go any more? Did you get it all out?” More pee was probably the last thing she wanted to discuss, but for the sake of keeping things dry, it was a fair and important question. “I…I think…” Was she all done? “It’s okay if you do, you know?” Joyce whispered in her ear, “In fact, if you do, that’s even better. I’m gonna go check on the bed real quick, but if you need to pee, you can do it right here, okay? That way, when I change you in just a minute, you’re gonna feel nice and dry the whole rest of the night!” More diapers? Had Emily not been frowning already, she certainly would’ve been now. “Wh-what if I leak again?” The fear and logic made her almost certain that she would. Joyce loudly patted the tub. “Good thing you’re someplace where you’re supposed to get wet, right? And Emily: don’t be sorry, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong…” and she stood as she scratched her little girl’s scalp. With the flick of the lights, Joyce had thankfully adjusted mostly to being out of the dark, but she was able to see the bed now, particularly Emily’s side. “Shoot…” Joyce whispered, staring down at a clear wet patch on the sheets. It wasn’t the entire bed, obviously, but it was far from a small droplet too… She certainly did leak, and Joyce only had herself to thank for it. Emily was crying because of her own negligence, and rightfully so. “Miss me?” Joyce came back in smiling, holding something in her hand. “Hey, look up at me?” Emily did, and something went in her mouth. “Perfect,” Joyce beamed down at her, smiling to see the pacifier fit so perfectly between her lips. “Would you mind hanging on to that for me? I like it when you have it the most!” and she whispered tenderly again, “Just get it all out of your system, okay? You won’t make a mess. Promise.” Without any words, Emily leaned out, grabbing for Joyce before she could leave. With a sudden surprise, Joyce leaned back in for the hug, rubbing her back. Emily for a few reasons wasn’t much for saying anything right then, but luckily a warm, pure hug said more than enough. “Sweetie, it’s my job to take care of this stuff, you know?” Joyce hummed contently. “You know what you can do for me? Think of a way I can make it up to you for being such a careless mommy, okay?” Then she lifted her head, looking around the bathroom. “It’s a little chilly, huh?” She stood back up, filling the quiet bathroom with a warm hum from the heater hiding in the ceiling. “Be right back. Don’t forget to go pee!” Still reminding Emily to smile with her own, she half-closed the door on the way out. Joyce re-entered the room like a sweeping storm, stripping something off the bed with each pass she made, glancing blows and saving what she could. Pillows and blankets, comforters and the like– Pip too, of course, all came off, leaving nothing but sheets darker and wetter in places they should normally be. With her hands posed on her hips, she frowned at the inanimate objects, somewhat glaring at the offenses which put Emily to tears. “Okay…” Joyce sufficed quickly before gathering the final remains needing more than just some air and whisking them off to the distant washing machine. After her short trip there and back, she snuck back into the bedroom bathroom. “Is it warm in here?” Joyce peered inside, and Emily was rubbing her eyes, sniffling again. “Awh, sweetie…” Joyce started to say, nearly following up, but then she could see that Emily had moved from one end of the tub to the other. In her last place now a small puddle remained. Like a poor puppy cognizant of the mess they’d made, Emily from her arms looked up at Joyce guiltily. Only after Joyce gently plucked the pacifier from her lips, she spoke. “Sorry…” “Emily…” Joyce smiled, and then a gushing spurt made Emily yelp as she nearly fell. “J-Joyce…! Wh-what’re you doing?!” Emily cried as she tried to stumble out of the tub, slowly filling with water. “Ah-ah!” Joyce held her by the shoulders to keep her from stepping out. “Don’t you wanna get clean?” “B-but it’s late…!” Emily tried to reason, yet Joyce with her will alone was enough to keep Emily in place, squatting in just her diaper in the tub. “Yes, and most definitely past your bedtime. but given the circumstances, Mommy’s willing to bend the rules a little.” Joyce grinned, tickling the underside of her chin. “We didn’t have much time today to get you in the shower or have a bath, did we?” And Emily looked into her girlfriend’s eyes, tired in just the moment, but energized and unyielding as always. Beyond the noise of the gushing faucet and humming heater from above, Emily leaned her head on Joyce’s shoulder, too tired to think anymore. “Think you’re up for a bath if I do all the work?” Joyce chuckled, rubbing the back of her head. “Can I help…?” Emily moaned back. She didn’t want a bath. She didn’t want anything. Nothing that made Joyce do anymore than she’d already done. Anything to keep the load she always hogged on her shoulders, and the burdens she always carried. “Hmm…” Joyce’s eyes wandered, still giving the same affections from the start. “No.” “No? Why not?” Emily whined. “You always do so much…! Can’t I just help? I wanna do something for you for once! Let me–!” But she wasn’t allowed to continue when the pacifier went right back to her. “Emily, I appreciate the offer. Really, I do,” Joyce giggled, “but it’s too hard to coordinate with someone too busy sucking on their pacifier? We want to get this quick, don’t we?” Emily tried to talk back, but the immovable seal on her mouth just wouldn’t let her. She tried, but she failed. “You already do so much for me, Emily, and I’m getting a little tired of having to repeat myself,” Joyce grinned. “Guess I should have also mentioned that before we went to bed…” They were both tired and emotions were fickle. It wasn’t a serious moment like they’d been through multiple times before, but it was tender enough. Emily gave her a look telling Joyce she wanted to say something, but her Mommy wasn’t having any of it. “No, Emily!” Joyce quite sternly, but awfully playfully laughed. “You’re getting your bath and you’re going to behave! Now no more buts, or your butt is getting a reminder to behave, got it?” “Mmm…!” Emily mumbled again. “It’s too late– or, too early?” Joyce paused to guess the time, “It’s too soon to be doing this. Now be a good girl and sit in the tub!” she commanded, pressuring Emily’s shoulders until she dropped into the shin-deep water with a noisy splash. Joyce was rolling up her sleeves, but Emily looked downright mortified. “What? What’s wrong? Emily, if this is about you being naked–” she stopped as the pacifier propelled from Emily’s mouth, dropping in Joyce’s lap. “Th-that’s not it…!” Emily whimpered, gritting her teeth, overwhelmed by a weird, gross feeling. Sitting there on her bottom, feeling the water wash through the parts of her sitting on the floor of the tub, she grimaced. “You…you forgot to take my diaper off…!” “H-huh?” Joyce blinked, finally done away with the last of her tiredness the moment she looked down. Half submerged and half exposed was the wet plastic and four tapes, smiling friends and all on Emily’s crotch, pulp and thick with pee and now bath water. “O-oh…!” she frowned, but sputtered. “Y-you…you think it’s funny…?!” Emily whined, watching the corners on Joyce’s mouth rise. “Y…yes…maybe a little…!” Joyce held up a hand to hide her mouth, but it couldn’t block the noise. “O-okay…maybe a lot!” “Joyce…!” Emily groaned and reached for her crotch, but the curse even in these circumstances couldn’t be lifted. “Joyce!” she cried again, deflected by her partner’s hands. “I’ll take it off, I’ll take it off…!” Joyce chuckled, standing her up from the tub, but her underwear had much more weight to it. Her truly swollen diaper now dripped an endless amount of drops into the water, precipitating between her legs like a rainstorm. “Goodness…” Joyce marveled, prying off the tapes, watching to see how it all reacted to gravity with each adhesive. “You really did have to go, didn’t you?” And finally the teasing had reached a point where Emily was restless. Some retaliation was needed, and it was certainly delivered. Standing in place with Joyce still kneeling on the floor, she raised her foot and sent it crashing back down, sending shockwaves throughout the water. But most importantly, a not-so-small splash of water and drops fell on Joyce’s shirt and pants. “Uhm…” Joyce stuttered, looking down at herself. Crossing her arms, Emily turned in place with half her diaper removed and sagging down her leg. “...Hmph!” Joyce carefully grabbed her by the hips and turned her back, stripping the last two tapes and carefully lifting the plump diaper off and away; especially so no more splashes could be made. “I…may have deserved that.” “You did…” Emily pouted, crouching herself in the tub. “...The water’s cold.” “I can tell…” Joyce said as she grabbed a towel for her lap. “Take this back for me?” she asked with the pacifier held out. And reluctantly, Emily took it and popped it in her mouth, quickly before another trick could manifest. Spinning her on her bottom, Joyce started on her hair. If they were going to give her a bath, they may as well give her the works. “Cahn we still use the bed…?” Emily sort of asked, though it was lisped by her pacifier. “Mm…probably not tonight. We’ll be comfy on the couch though,” Joyce started wetting a washcloth, and it wasn’t a joke when she asked, “but you’re more than welcome to use your crib tonight?” A great wave of water was splashed again, only perpendicular to both women like it was a warning shot. Emily’s hand fell back into her lap. While her back was turned, the message had been made. “You’re lucky you’re so cute…” Joyce rubbed her back. “My little Herculean labor…” In the dead of night, a brief bathtime ensued.

Glad ya enjoyed it! And don't mind me, just responding to comments around 5 months later! If I'm not known for writing stories, I think being horrendously bad with timing is my other thing. Hope ya have been good! Happy to share! Should be! But Patreon is always my first go-to. Everything after that usually leads to me having to reformat text and make manual insertions for things that just can't/won't translate. It doesn't always take a lot, but when I'm in a go-go-go sort of flow, I usually opt for public postings later, then lose track of finding the time for it. When I don't have time to do writing in general, that's just an added delay. Sorry! This is also true! However, eventually it'll all come to public boards. I've fallen back into my dark ages on the public side of things again, embarrassingly. Thank you so much! Thank you for relaying this! I am in Japan right now, so time difference plus obligations here and daily life means not a whole lot of free time all the time to get things done. I've been here for almost 2 months now and I think I'm starting to get some time to myself again for creative activities. Either that, or Golden Week just inspired me a tiny bit. I don't have a strict policy for what will and won't be released publicly other than for what I have started in public places first before going to Patreon. My intent is for Sheltered and Illegal Immigrant to be fully available to everyone for free at some point once it's finished, however their public updates are intentionally delayed so I can create more than I release. I do try to release a chapter a month, but life can get in the way or sometimes I may decide to throttle it to match my pace with Patreon more. Thank you for expressing your interest and love for this series! I'm looking forward to sharing more soon!

Maybe James and Katherine need to pull her aside at some point to have a chat about mean old Mr. Consequences... As kind as Katherine can be, sometimes her blinders can really warp her honest intentions. If Dawn somehow got ahold of that sort of literature, I could imagine ten different rules being ratified on the spot just to keep it from happening again... Or who knows? Maybe she can read whatever she wants and this is all a big misunderstanding? Right? (In truth, I may not be the fondest of straight eggs myself... I do require something to go with it...) Yeah, Katherine and Dawn both continue to be stubborn, albeit one of them less maliciously as well as with societal backing... I'm sure common ground exists for them, they'll just need to dig pretty deep to find it. I can definitely imagine some prejudice charged in those rules... I'm hoping they'll figure something out... Then again, it may not be something Dawn has to adapt to so much since she's supposed to be going home soon, after all! Thanks for reading and commenting! (Pun sort of intended) It's the little things that'll keep the ship afloat, I'd imagine. There's too many big obstacles I think that are completely or next-to totally non-negotiable at this point that what few things she can control are going to become those new big deals to her. Coincidentally, I can imagine the Amazons in charge of her being more lenient with the things that don't matter as much in the bigger picture. No sleepers at bedtime? Fine. No diapers? Why are you being so silly?

Thank you so much! I think there's always a thousand different ways I can improve in delivery and dialogue, but I'm glad to know it's being enjoyed. I can definitely see how that might be a concern, though as an advocate for Joyce I wouldn't say she's trying to totally force Emily into this thing with Amy. Deciding for her that she was going to make the call in the first place was really just to get something going for her, I'd say. They both know Emily's upset about the current status quo, being she's hanging around at the house most of the time. Emily wants work, and I'd say Joyce is somewhere in a space that's indifferent to what she does, as long as Emily's happy. What they both agree on is having some kind of change and Joyce is at least trying to force Emily's foot in the door so she can have the opportunity to consider it. Along those lines, I'd say. With her job hunt in flux, this is just Joyce putting another opportunity on her plate. Thank you for enjoying it! Hmm, that is a good question. What is in the cards for Sheila? Isabelle is a very much wait and see at the moment, but I'm sure there has been hints for possibly just how she leans on things. Either or, there should be a little more insight into her soon enough. Thank you! Thank you for catching that! My spellcheck won't always immediately catch everything I throw at it, so if it's not immediately noticed/updated with a fancy red underline, it's something that can sometimes propagate. Didn't necessarily know I was misspelling in different ways across my stories, but thanks for the fun fact!

Hmm, I imagine Katherine would definitely want to share some of the classics with Dawn! Off the top of my head, I think I have zero clue on how to write a clever DD's Little storybook... Yepp, Katherine's a favorite of mine, so I hope to nail down her nuances or at least communicate the kind of character I want to show! James at this point I'd say is a little of a toss up. He might be feeling some kind of attachment, sure, but without some more concrete examples, I can see it totally just as him acting in Katherine's, his wife's, interest. Never know with that pesky LPS... It's a wait and see! After all, who knows if Dawn will even be in this dimension long enough for that to happen? It's a wait and find out! Early Christmas, enjoy the double release! 16 - Sun Set & Sun Rise “Okay, Dawn, time to go upstairs,” Katherine made herself known by becoming the physical barrier between Dawn and the cartoon. “Sorry?” Snapping out of her tv-mode, Dawn blinked as she looked up at her. “What are you sorry for? It’s bedtime, hon. Let’s get you upstairs and changed.” Katherine said once again, though this time reaching for a remote on the coffee table, killing the motion picture as a final measure. A package deal, it was. Go to bed, get the, not her, diaper changed. One was good, one wasn’t preferable. Dawn drew out her tone, as if to make it clear just how much they were not on the same page, maybe even the same bookshelf. “Yes…I want to be changed, but I’m not going to bed just yet.” Whether her words held weight or not, Katherine picked her up regardless with an exasperated sigh. “It’s been a long day for you, hasn’t it? I know it’s been for me!” “In that case maybe you should go to bed early?” While it could have been delivered as witty or an attempt to be funny, her voice didn’t have the humor nor the amusement. “I definitely think I will in a bit.” Katherine, oh-so clever with her words, appended the small loophole to her words. In a bit. Not now. Later. At a time that wasn’t permissible for Littles. They stopped short of the stairs right by the entrance to the kitchen. “Say goodnight to James, okay?” “But I’m not going to bed yet.” Nothing against James, in this particular moment, ignoring the physical abuse that he had dished out, but Dawn was making a point of not being on board with Katherine. “Goodnight, Dawn!” James waved for just a moment over the noise of a gushing faucet whilst he scrubbed. And as if Dawn could be spoken for, Katherine playfully cooed right back, “Goodnight, James!” And on they went. To the stairs. “What time is it, even?” Dawn complained, looking out the window on the stairs. It was dark and the night sky was out, but she was hardly feeling tired yet. Back at the hotel she definitely stayed up later than this. “Time for bed.” And an important question unanswered only begets a pissy attitude. “You know what I mean.” “It’s late,” Katherine repeated only with a different dress of words, signifying no numbers whatsoever. “We talked about this, remember? How the days here are a lot longer than what you’re used to?” “Yeah and I’ve already been here for like a week. I got used to it.” They entered the room she was staying in, which had an uncanny resemblance to, but was most certainly not, a nursery. By Dawn’s opinion, at least. “You know, I bet you’re really tired and your body just hasn’t noticed it yet?” Suddenly, Dawn was on her back, but she wasn’t in the crib. She was on the… “Wait, no, stop,” Dawn immediately started rising from her seat. “Let me do it.” Katherine held her hands back right as they were about to reach, like folded arms from a T-rex. “Let you do it?” “Yes! You know what I mean! I can…change myself! Just…just take the tapes off for me!” “Dawn, that’s not how it works. Don’t be silly. You know it has to be me, James, or someone that we trust that handles your diaper changes.” Raising her voice with agitation, Dawn fired back, “And I told you that I trust myself!” Katherine with a tinge of sternness and a firm press on Dawn’s shoulders back onto the pad, said, “That’s enough. I know you’re upset and there’s a lot about this you’re uncomfortable with, but if LPS ever saw that we were mistreating you…” “I’d what, be taken away?” Not back to Earth, most likely. “There’s no LPS here, so who cares if I change my own underwear like I should be able to?” Then, with heavy sarcasm just to mock Katherine for trying to convince her with fault logic she added, “Unless they put bugs in the house, or something?” Then came a move Dawn didn’t expect. Not in the way of words this time. A snug strap was suddenly pulled over her chest and arms as it sounded like velcro bonding with another end. “H-hey! What the hell?” Dawn fidgeted but to no avail. “Katherine? What the fuck?!” “Dawn, please, language?” Katherine reprimanded, but it didn’t stop her hands. The diaper tapes were torn by Amazon hands while Dawn’s smaller ones feebly tried to grab at nothing but air, forced so closely to her sides. “So what? You lose the argument so you just take advantage of me physically? Rich.” Dawn scoffed, no less pissed than before. The passive pissiness pivoted to direct rejection the moment Dawn felt her ankles be bundled into Katherine’s grip. “Wait! Stop!“ Her very unfortunate moment with James in the car was embarrassing, humiliating, but this time it had five more degrees of shame to go with it. There was no commonplace car, but instead a mock-nursery with a changing table to boot. “That’s fucking cold!” And a cold wet wipe this time, too. Katherine could only make tired pleas as her hands worked through the motions. “Dawn, please…” Dawn could only attempt to thrash as she was strapped to the table and shout obscenities that changed nothing in the short term for her. No amount of anything she did could accomplish anything, hence why her anger with a beet red face stayed pent up by the time Katherine was done pressing the tapes of a new, horrid and crinkly diaper on her hips. This one was certainly different and in no way a choice of Dawn’s. It was simple, yet no less damning. White, yet decorated with more puppies, as far as Dawn could tell, yet quite unfortunately with a tinge bit more of oppressiveness between the legs, or maybe the same, Dawn wasn’t quite the expert, courtesy of Amazon-engineered diaper bulk. “Is it comfy?” “It’s too thick and noisy!” Katherine finally undid the strap over Dawn’s chest before lifting her off the table. “It’s not going to make any noise while you’re asleep.” It hadn’t gone unnoticed by Dawn, Katherine’s lack of acknowledgement for the first complaint. Dawn only rolled her eyes and doubled down. “Yeah, too bad I’m not going to sleep, so it is a problem.” “You’re going to bed, Dawn.” There. Just like that, she’d done it. Finally no more gentle pushes or willfully ignoring protests. Katherine acknowledged and promptly responded. “It’s getting late and I think some quiet time would be good.” Dawn did fidget and squirm, but it would have saved space on this page not to make mention of it at all given the lack of effect her efforts had. Down, down, down she went. “Down we go…” Katherine cooed as she deposited Dawn into the crib, or as Dawn saw it, confined to her cage. Four walls, its two broad sides being all wooden bars. “Oh! That’s right,” Katherine with a puff of air in her cheek looked for her forgotten thought. “Did you want some PJs for bed?” Dawn huffed as she stood on the mattress, feeling her feet sink slightly into the dense, soft material. “No. I’m not going to bed!” And immediately she grabbed onto the bars, bringing her bare feet against them as she tried to climb. If she needed any more physical reminders to put this world into perspective, surely it was crib bars going well above her head. It wasn’t that the bars were lubed or lathered in oil, but that they seemed to defy the laws of physics in having achieved near complete lack of friction. For Dawn, an English major, she hardly touched math and sciences, but it didn’t take the knowledge of a physicist to take issue with her hands and feet slipping down the bars immediately as she tried to hold onto them. Katherine stayed by the crib and watched with a disapproving look. “Dawn, your crib is not for climbing.” “TAKE. ME. OUT!” Dawn raged with her hands on the bars, doing her utmost to shake and rock the bed, but all that did was shake herself. Katherine only watched with a concerned look, one hand on the railing of the crib. “Dawn…I think you need some sleep, sweetheart… I promise you’ll feel a lot better in the morning?” “Just put the side down or something, at least! I don’t sleep in cribs! Ask James! He saw my hotel room! It was a normal fucking bed!” “Why don’t you like your crib?” Did Katherine somehow cease to empathize yet again? “It’s not my crib! Now get me out!” “I can’t do that, honey…not until tomorrow when it’s bright and sunny.” Finally deciding to play bullshit linguistics herself, Dawn fired right back, “Can’t or won’t?” “...Won’t.” She answered back simply. “Won’t?” Dawn scoffed with a sickened laugh. “Just like you won’t take me home? How you won’t let me wear panties? Won’t let me eat what I want, won’t let me go where I please?” “No, Dawn. Won’t because you need your sleep, and because of everything that’s happened today. All day you’ve been misbehaving. Naughty words, arguing, being rude to other grown-ups, running outside on your own?” And maybe it was a phantom pain, but some sensation on her bum still burned regardless. “Y-you said that we settled all that, though!” “Yes, we did, which is why you aren’t in trouble, Dawn, but it’s why we’re going to do better in keeping you safe, and that involves rules. We have rules to keep you safe and not get in trouble with LPS…” “By keeping me locked up in a cage?!” “By keeping a tired girl from staying up too late.” Katherine crouched on her knees, coming to eye-level with Dawn standing in the crib. “It might feel a little scary being in a new room and in a new bed, but James and I are gonna be downstairs and up here, okay? I’ll come check on you in a little bit, but I want you to start trying to get some sleep.” Maybe she was waiting for Dawn to say something, but when she didn’t, Katherine asked, “Can I tuck you in?” That was enough to trigger a response. “No, you can’t, and I’m not sleeping.” Dawn stated with her unwavering will. After a small sigh, back in a disappointed voice Katherine said, “Then I’ll see you in a little bit.” She rose from her slouch, taking her hands off her knees as she walked over to the door. Unfortunately, her poker face was as fickle as her footing on the plush mattress, as Dawn made a noise of distress, quickly realizing that without an Amazon to negotiate with, all was lost. Watching the Amazon leave and being so powerless to chase as she shook herself against the bars. “Katherine! Wait! Let me out! I’ll sleep on the floor, fine! Just don’t make me sleep in a fucking crib!” Christ, swearing, that apparently played a factor into all of this. It wasn’t a time for pride, but maybe a tinge of humility. “I-I’m sorry! Okay? I’m sorry! Just let me out of this stupid crib! I’ll sleep! Sure! I’m tired! Just don’t lock me in this thing!” Maybe something she said held some weight. Katherine paused by the doorframe with her hand on the door. “I-I’m sorry!” Dawn repeated again with desperation. Words were as meaningless as you made them in your mind, so what was an apology to Dawn if she didn’t fully mean it? But the Amazon stood by the door, smiled, and said, “Tomorrow’s a new day, Dawn, so let’s all be on our best behavior, okay?” “Fine! Yes! So take me out of this crib!” Dawn was doing her best, but begging was starting to become an apt descriptor of how she was speaking. And yet the desperation was somehow ignored or missed, because Katherine continued in a soft, jovial voice, “Goodnight…!” as the door came to a near full close, but never quite reaching completion. A sliver of light peered through, but that was that. Katherine was gone, and Dawn was confined. In a crib. In a nursery. Her nursery. “KATHERINE!” Dawn shouted, trying to shake the bars but only folding on her arms and pressing against them. “Let me out! LET ME OUT!” It was dark, but not pitch black. Moonlight came through the window, though it was dampened by the translucent curtains along the top. Helplessness only seemed to be redefining itself in more and more confining ways. Trapped in another world. Trapped in a house for giants. Trapped in her own underwear, and now trapped in a crib. She shouted, shook, and screamed, but no one came. No one ever did. Were they ignoring her, or was she not being loud enough? It made her upset. Angry. Who were they to decide when she goes to sleep? “You…YOU CAN’T JUST IGNORE ME!” She screamed into the void for minutes on end, but the words hardly matched her beliefs. They could ignore her. They probably were ignoring her. Just like she had ignored them. Just like she had ignored Katherine all day until it was a moment of convenience or necessity. How was any of this keeping her safe? Emotionally starved, neglected, belittled, confined and caged? Why couldn’t that LPS or whatever it was come any sooner? See just how horrible of a situation this was and rescue her? And with a much more somber, dried and exhausted voice, she whimpered, “Please…” Standing on her knees, partially sunk into the tempurpedic mattress while her hands struggled to hold onto the slippery bars, leaning her forehead against her cell. In darkness and in silence it was only reality and her own thoughts that came as comfort. Yet comfort only came on good days, and this wasn’t one of them. All she had was reality, and it was crippling. It was the same thoughts she’d been having at every point since yesterday and today. This time, right now, in a different life, a better one, she’d be getting out from a long post-vacation shower, calling her boyfriend, kicking back and decompressing. Instead, all she had was a diaper compressing her nether regions. When would people notice that she was gone? Missing? A week? A month? Her stomach felt queasy just from the thought of being here for that long. Absolutely not. Never…right? If she tried, maybe she could just faintly hear noise from downstairs. The tv? James and Katherine? Solitude could somehow make curiosity fester and unbearable. What overshadowed it all though was the ongoing war cry of what sounded like crickets from beyond the window. Muffled by the wall of the house, but audible nonetheless. She listened and thought. Falling in and out of tearful fits as a sense of pride kept her from falling on her back or stomach, simply leaning her head against the bars. But even Dawn couldn’t become a statue, which is why the occasional shift or slightest move sent shockwaves throughout the room as the god of thunder himself crackled with might. And yet, there was no god to be seen, and instead the unbearably noisy diaper on Dawn’s hips. But it was a package deal, as the juice she’d been forced into drinking was on a new wave of catching up to her bladder. “Katherine…!” Dawn yelled once again with a crumbling voice, knowing on some level of what the outcome was certain to be. She tried pressing her hand against her amply padded crotch to somehow “hold it in”, no pun intended, yet the padding felt tantamount to chastity. Had only her captors gotten the memo that there wasn’t a treasure left to protect… Dawn groaned as she fidgeted in place, “Fucking fuck!” Without an inkling of sleep passing through her mind and her eyelids feeling weightless and taught, she knew it was to be a long and dreadful night, and anything but quiet. “Shh…I put Dawn down a couple hours ago, but just in case we should–” The sound of another voice was the adrenaline that shocked her system. “Katherine?!” Dawn perked up immediately. Somewhat, having committed herself to her upright position just to prevent the absolute worst case scenario: actually falling asleep. There was a moment of pause coming from the hallway, or in other words no response to Dawn’s call from the crib. Just a second later however and the door quietly crept open. The hallway light had been turned off and into the darkened room entered Katherine, James, and Waver. Need it be mentioned that the sight of the four-legged friend still up and about slighted her even more. Apparently even the pets got to stay up later than her. “Dawn…” Katherine looked and sounded with disapproval, all hushed and calm, however, “what are you still doing up?” “Looks like someone’s been trying real hard to stay awake?” James chimed in with a grin, but Dawn wasn’t seeing the humor with her tired glare. “I told you I wasn’t t…tired.” She tried to put some edge on her tone but interrupted her own attempt halfway with a mouth glued shut just to keep down a trembling yawn. “You look awfully tired to me, sweetheart.” Katherine said simply, James let his wife talk, and Waver did whatever the hell he wanted, which was a freedom far from Dawn’s grasp. Waver trotted up to the front of the crib, slipping his nose between the bars, sniffing Dawn unashamedly. Trying to ignore the dog, Dawn said back, “I wasn’t when you put me in here! You’re not being fair and you know it!” “And I know how cranky someone can be if they don’t sleep enough,” James suddenly took to the stage. “Dawn, we’re all going to bed now. Sound fair?” “No.” By the look on his face, was her take really that surprising? “Why not?” “Because I’m in a crib. I did not want a crib and I still don’t. Just take the sides off! Let me at least think it’s a normal bed!” “It is a normal bed, Dawn,” Katherine with her own sense of tiredness, but maybe emotional rather than biological, added soothingly. “Honey, what if you rolled out of bed? You could get hurt.” “I don’t roll in my sleep! I don’t use diapers! I don’t have a bedtime! Please! When are you going to get any of that?!” “It’s bedtime for real, Dawn,” James said, so tactfully dismissing all her complaints, “get some sleep now.” “Do you want someone to stay with you until you fall asleep?” Katherine offered. “No! I…” Dawn between choking down yawns was caught in a difficult place. They’d wronged her in a new way, and she’d technically defied and persevered, even if it meant exhausting herself for no real benefit other than just to see them on their way upstairs. She complained, they dismissed, but she’d technically won on some front. Exhausting herself just to defy two Amazons… Dawn pushed off the bars, falling on her cushioned backside into the cushioned mattress. “I don’t care anymore.” “Get some sleep,” Katherine said once more, only with an affectionate hand on Dawn’s head. “Lay down, I’ll tuck you in.” Dawn did lay down, but swiped the blanket for herself, draping it atop before Katherine could complete what she set out to do. “I’m fine,” Dawn muttered, head against the pillow, facing away and consequently the wall on the other side of the bars. Katherine didn’t have much to say other than, “Goodnight, Dawn…” James too. “Night, Dawn.” Dawn didn’t answer, but she could hear them move across the carpet to leave. “Come on, Waver! Not tonight.” Katherine did the signature pat on her thigh. And once more she never heard the door close. After enough time she peered over her shoulder, finding that they had gone but the door still remained 90% closed and 10% open. Not like she could physically get out of bed and change that though. So she laid there instead, unfortunately noticing just how soft the mattress was. How light and comfy the blanket felt, even on a warmer night… The pillow was plush and cushiony in its own way, too. The hotel bed wasn’t soft like this, and the sheets weren’t all that amazing either. The pillow was stiff and flimsy. Far worse by comparison. But that’s how hotels were. There wasn’t anything special about them, hence the quality. Hence why…this felt inarguably much better. But not the crib. The bed frame was an entirely different matter that frankly Dawn was far too tired to entertain. Too tired to fight. Too tired to uphold her resistance, stowing it away for the morning to come. The next morning was an early and uncomfortable one. In her half-asleep slump Dawn could barely tell what the blaring noise was that filled her ears. Still in her own swampy mind of drifting, sleepy thought, it took her a moment to even register the noise at all. In and out, here and there, only when she moved…? Peering underneath the blanket, enough early morning sunlight could show the pattern of puppies prancing on her underwear. Dry underwear, at that, but also in the midst of a crisis. She shuffled her legs uncomfortably with a fullness that’d had all night to store up. Her bladder, of course. She whimpered a tired groan for just about every reason under the sun. Tired and sleepy, who ever wanted to get up and use the bathroom? Then again, how could she use the bathroom if she lacked the strength to take off her diaper? What’s more, why ponder the thought when no Amazon was going to let her do her business anywhere other than in her own pants? And lastly, though sorely feeling like the most important, yet treated as the most insignificant by others, her pride. Certainly she was a fool for thinking so, but as little as others thought of it, her pride wouldn’t let her take every embarrassment lying down. “What time even is it…?” Dawn groaned, lazily propping herself up with her hands. She must have been stuck in the past because her only tool to tell the time was the sunlight itself. No clocks, no phone, no nothing. Why would you put a clock in a nursery? What baby needs to tell the time? “Hello…?” Dawn communicated the only way she knew how in her cell, shouting out to the partly open doorway. “Is anybody awake?!” No response. Great, she was up before everyone else. Or so she thought. Instead of footsteps down the hall she heard the telltale jingle of dog tags trotting closer and closer, until a soft nudge of the head knocked the door to swing open a bit, just so a furry friend could peer through. “Why is it always you…?” she groaned, trying to squeeze her legs together more and more as time went on, yet she was quickly reaching a hard limit with the padding stored between them. Waver came over to the crib to visit the prisoner, tilting his head curiously as Dawn sat there in annoyed misery, unsure of what to do. Keep shouting? The dog was close enough for Dawn to reach through the bars, running her hand through the fur atop his head. “Can’t you go wake up your owners, or something?” Better yet, unlock the crib himself. Maybe it was somewhere out of place, because no matter where she looked from her limited space, no sign of any locking mechanism was evident. Yet another “Little-proofed” invention, as the twistedly sadistic liked to describe it. Maybe it was some kind of buzz word for Amazon advertising in this universe… “Get. Katherine.” Dawn recited both words, broken up by a commanding pat on Waver’s head each time. Her animal whispering abilities were failing her though, as all Waver did was a few circles in place before parking himself on the carpet in front of the crib, now too low for Dawn to reach. “Some help you are…” And back to square one, minus a bit of a more open doorway, which would hopefully get her somewhere. “Hello?! Is anybody actually awake?!” Dawn was back on her feet, calling once more. Anxiously she bounced ever so slightly, far too fidgety and full to not keep still. “No! Not you!” Dawn barked immediately as Waver turned his head and started to stand. “KATHERINE! JAMES! I NEED TO PEE! WAKE UP ALREADY!” And on and on she went. “KATHERINE! JAMES! WAKE UP!” “WAKE UP!” “WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE U–” “I’m up, I’m up…!” Katherine rushed in with a tired look, only physically drained this time, or just coming off of a well-needed rest. She was wearing a simple pajama set, shirt and drawstring pants and her hair a bit out of place from just being in bed, but her Amazon genetics didn’t betray her looks, even just after waking up. “What’s wrong, honey?” Dawn had half a mind to criticize her tardiness, but instead got to the point. “I need to pee. Now.” Katherine rubbed her eye with a confused look, still lagging behind. “You…what? You need to go potty?” “Pee. Yes! I can’t take off this stupid diaper and I can’t get out of this crib by myself! How does this even unlock, anyway?” “Dawn…that’s what your diaper is for…please. Enough talk about using the potty, okay? We’ll change you once you need it.” “I need it now! Change me into something that isn’t a diaper!” “Dawn, honey, it’s fi– very early in the morning. James and I don’t usually get up for another couple hours, and I know you barely got any sleep last night. Why don’t we try sleeping for a bit more?” “No. Get me out of this crib already. You can go back to bed, but I can’t be stuck in this thing for another two hours!” Stomping her foot was a little instinctual nudge in the back of her head, but stomping a plush mattress didn’t exactly command compliance. “...Okay, you win. Just this once though,” Katherine relinquished as she came over. “--Wait, Waver? When did you get in here?” “He actually listened…” Dawn explained with a frown, holding out her arms. “Did you have a bad dream? Is that why you couldn’t sleep?” Now in her arms, Katherine went as far as to press her forehead against Dawn’s for a moment. “No fever either…” “Can you sleep if you have a full bladder?” Please, let it be read as rhetorical. “No, probably not,” Katherine answered quite simply. “Yeah, well neither can I. See the problem?” “You’re wearing a diaper, sweetie.” “And I don’t wear diapers, so don’t talk like they’re a solution!” “They are. You wear diapers, Dawn. I bet they feel nice and comfy?” “I’m done talking about this. You obviously don’t get it.” Katherine sighed with a small frown, but stayed upbeat as they went downstairs. “How about we find you some cartoons before I work on breakfast?” “No. I don’t want to watch any. Just put me down and let me move.” “No-no-no,” Katherine mimicked with a silly voice, “I thought today was going to be different, Dawn?” “Yeah, I hope so too,” Dawn grimaced, finding that her further denial of bathroom privileges was signaling that history was doomed to repeat itself. And on the cartoons went anyway. The only thing different so far was that Katherine seemed to stop caring about what Dawn did or did not want to do. Typical. Waver came down to rest in his dog bed, and the moment Dawn was on her feet she was out of the living room and away from the tv, animated images and noises. And as embarrassing as it was to admit, Dawn only just remembered something she felt an earlier version of herself would have picked up on. “Wait, I need pants,” she tugged on Katherine’s pant leg in the kitchen. “Hm? Later, honey. Once we get you dressed after breakfast.” Not now. Great. “When’s breakfast, then?” “Once I’m done making it,” Katherine grinned down at her, meeting Dawn’s aggravation with playful love. Dawn pivoted on her heel and stormed out of the kitchen, just about to bank a right back to the stairs. “Ah-ah!” Katherine’s doting voice froze her in place. “Where are you going?” “Upstairs. Waking James up.” Maybe she could somehow convince him. Leverage the fact that he physically hit her to make him take her diaper off? “Let’s let James sleep in for a bit. We’ll wake him up in a bit.” “Then I’m going back up to my room.” “I want you where I can see you,” Katherine smiled affectionately, but Dawn only took it as pure absurdity. More trust issues, she figured. “Katherine, I can just reach doorknobs; what makes you think I can somehow escape from the second story?” “I know that you aren’t going on any little adventures, but I know that you can get into mischief, Dawn. Stay put. Go watch some cartoons. And here,” she produced a lidded cup of white substance. “Take your sippy cup, it’s milk.” “I’m not thirsty, and it’s not my sippy cup.” Maybe she was thirsty, but liquids certainly felt like a no-go if it meant eternally peeing herself. “You will be later. Come on, now. No more backtalk.” It was suddenly a trigger word that Dawn never knew she even had. “Wh-what?! It’s not backtalk! I’m just telling you how it is!” “Dawn, please?” Katherine asked yet again with that signature tone, a sign of dwindling patience, and Dawn knew it was either to accept or go down a path that she wouldn’t think quite highly of. “Fine!” she swiped the sippy cup into her hands. “But I’m not drinking any of it!” It was more than enough for Katherine, though, standing back in front of the counter with a “Thank you~” for Dawn who was already halfway into the living room. A different show from the ones before was on this morning, but it had the same traits and patterns, more or less. Eye catching visuals, slapstick humor and somehow a plot and dialogue with just enough substance to slightly keep a viewer that was actually potty trained at least occupied, if not barely entertained. But it certainly did nothing for the mind too busy trying to solve the dilemma of being trapped in a diaper, yet holding one’s bladder for a toilet that would never come. Dropping the sippy cup on the floor beside her, she desperately tried to tug on the tapes, disillusioning herself that maybe yesterday was a sad and sorry fluke. “If only these stupid fucking things…!” And yet, either her luck was far worse than she had thought going two for two, or this truly was how diapers in this dimension worked. Tiredly she sighed with frustration, kicking her legs out. “Is everything alright in there?” a watchful voice called from the kitchen, insinuating that they knew misbehavior was afoot, only that they were giving her the chance to stop it. “NO! IT’S NOT! TAKE OFF MY DIAPER!” Dawn shouted right back. “Inside voice, please!” said the brick wall, in Dawn’s mind, at least. “Fucking…fuck!” Dawn continued to curse with a quiet voice, awkwardly pacing in front of the tv. It wasn’t her fault. She couldn’t betray her pride if she didn’t have a choice. If she was being forced.. And so with a sinking feeling in her stomach, Dawn squatted and pushed, having to pant and muffle her short gasps for air from forgetting to breathe, as she finally let out one last noise the moment she could feel the gross release. Her face felt hot the moment her diaper started to feel warm. Twice now. Three times? Multiple times she’d gone in a diaper, all against her will. All against everything that she stood for. Her head panned over to the doorway into the kitchen. She could hear Katherine working away on breakfast, and she had zero intentions of paying her a visit. She hardly wanted to reappear with a wet diaper, asking for a change. The very act of using a diaper felt too validating for Katherine and her ignorant mind, as much as it was swinging the pendulum her way far too greatly. Dawn parked herself on her bottom, then quickly stood the moment she felt the wet-to-moist-to-warm padding press against her skin more than it needed to be. Just to disillusion herself into thinking it all wasn’t as bad as it really was, Dawn awkwardly resigned herself to sitting on her knees instead. And with great disdain she glared at the sippy cup laying on the floor; the substance inside of it being the very reason for why she was quite literally in her own mess. Thankfully, time did move forward, and maybe Dawn could consider herself lucky for somehow losing track of time from the endless slur of colorful images on screen when Katherine slightly surprised her from behind. “Dawn? Honey?” “Wh-what?” Dawn looked up and over her shoulder. “I asked if you were ready for breakfast,” she chuckled. She was already reaching past Dawn for the sippy cup that had remained untouched on the floor. Without so much as asking, Katherine unannounced picked up Dawn with her other arm next, standing back up. “I think somebody was enjoying themselves, huh?” “What? No,” Dawn lightly scoffed, “it’s not like there was anything else to do.” Too small to cook. Too small to run away. Too small to disobey. Too small for anything. “Mmm…I’m sorry, sweetie. Maybe there’s a chance we can go to the toy store today and find something you’d like? Everyone’s gotta have toys?” They entered the kitchen with Dawn on Katherine’s hip, and the first thing she could smell was bacon. “What I need is to get home…” Dawn kept her spirits low, but admittedly a good-smelling breakfast was still a buffer keeping her from absolute zero. The least desirable thing to be seen were the eggs, but that was easy enough to ignore when the rest of the spread was bacon, fresh fruit, slices of toast, and pancakes. “You made all this…?” Dawn asked in surprise, trying to choke herself out of sounding even remotely impressed. “Mhm!” Katherine nodded affirmatively as she deposited Dawn into her special chair, one which she could not leave on her own. “James and I really like cooking, and breakfast is the most important meal of the day! Let’s see what we can put together for you…” “I’ll just have pancakes and bacon,” Dawn decided for herself. It would have been nice to reach everything herself, but it was getting old having to mention her lack of size for everything that she could not do. And as requested, pancakes and bacon it was. Little-sized portions which still seemed like a tad bit much for the girl, but manageable. What wasn’t though was what came in tandem with her two picks, which were a few cubes of fruit and a portion of egg. Gross. The fruit was passable, but the other was not. “That’s fine, I don’t want any eggs.” “I know, Dawn, but eggs are really good for you, you know?” “And so is letting me use the toilet.” Even in the early hours of the morning her wit was apparently still about her. And with more non consensual touching, Katherine with a light squeeze on her shoulder said, “Good girls aren’t picky. I’m gonna go wake James up, okay?” After Katherine excused herself, Dawn looked down at the entire plate in dismay now with the one bad yolky apple to spoil the bunch. The egg like the fruit and pancakes had been sectioned and squared for Dawn’s hands. And in looking at the butter, syrup, grease and liquid, the lack of silverware was finally catching up to her. “G-goohd morning…!” A yawn echoed from the pits of James’ mouth as he entered the kitchen with his wife, sporting a light set of bedhead. “Sleep well, Dawn?” he asked as he shuffled over to the coffee maker on the counter, still looking half asleep and just going through the motions. “No.” Admittedly, she somewhat did. But also she didn’t, courtesy of a full bladder. “I’m sorry…” he didn’t pick up where he left off until shaking a bit more sleep out of himself, “Was the crib not soft enough? Did you want a different pillow or blanket?” “Oh! I’m Sorry!” Katherine chimed in right beside her husband, “I didn’t even ask that, Dawn.Were they comfy? We can get–” “It’s fine,” she grumbled, still staring down the disappointment on her plate. “Can I have a fork now, please?” The hum and buzz of a counter appliance was making her thirsty as well. “I’ll have some coffee too.” “You have your milk, honey,” Katherine remarked and Dawn stared down the untouched sippy cup with pure annoyance. “Then unscrew the top. I’m in the kitchen, right?” A lack of caffeine definitely made her pissy, and she was pretty sure that knowing she wasn’t going to get any made her doubly so. “Yes,” Katherine picked up the children’s cup, then set it back down, lid undone this time, “you are. No spills, remember?” Because she was just itching to do that the first chance she got… “Yeah, I know.” Dawn turned her head in the chair to either spot James or Katherine out. “And what about a fork? I don’t have any silverware.” James and Katherine both shared silent looks with each other, speaking with some kind of telepathy either exclusive to Amazons or intimate lovers. Either way, Dawn had no clue. “That’s okay, honey, you can just use your hands and we’ll make sure you’re squeaky clean after, alright?” “Come again?” Katherine made a quirky grin, like she was interpreting Dawn’s quip as some sort of joke comprised of Little humor. “Katherine, I’m not using my hands. I want a fork.” “Grown-up silverware is really big, Dawn…I think you’d have a hard time using them.” “That’s fine, I’ll manage. And if you’re making me eat that stupid slimy egg, I’m not touching it with my bare hands!” “Dawn, reel it back in,” James warned as he came around to his seat, steaming cup of joe in hand. The smell alone was like second-hand smoking for the girl, except without any of the short-term benefits. As much as she hated him, it didn’t change her new survival instinct that meant listening at least somewhat. Clearing her throat and trying to temper her emotions, she tried a bit more politely, “I…I’m sorry; all I’m saying is that I do not think it is very fair that I can’t use a fork to eat my breakfast…” So polite she annunciated every single word. Even at its worst and even forced, the smallest amount of effort was worthy of praise, Katherine beaming at her minor correction. “Thank you for being so polite! I’m sorry, Dawn; James and I wouldn’t be very good…guardians if we let you use that kind of stuff? Amazon forks and knives are big and sharp. I promise it’s okay to use your hands?” She didn’t need the assurance that she could dirty herself. After all, she was already being encouraged to pee and poop in her pants. Rather, a huge part of what she was hearing was more societal checks and balances butting their way into the domestic sphere. “Really? LPS? Would they take me away for using a fork?” Katherine had become uncomfortably quiet, looking troubled. “Dawn,” James cut in again, “that’s enough. Be a good girl and eat your breakfast.” “Don’t call me a ‘good girl’,” Dawn finally bit back. But finally she huffed, looking back down at her plate. “Fine. I’ll eat with my hands.” “If you want I can feed you?” Katherine offered, to which Dawn promptly declined by way of drenching her hand in syrup. As delicate and with grace as she tried to act, a bite-sized square of pancake already moist from butter, syrup and chocolate chips made keeping clean an impossible task. She slipped it into her mouth, and unfortunately she was elated. She did her best to choke down her reaction, but it was good. Shockingly so. Maybe it was because of how poorly she had abused her tastebuds the other night that this was tasting like caviar, but good was good. The sweetness was just right and it was fluffy with the perfect amount of bounce and elasticity with every chew! It was so good in fact that Dawn was tranced long enough to go for a second bite, trying to be careful all over again, only to remember that her hand was already covered in syrup. “Ooou, I think somebody likes it!” Katherine excitedly giggled, watching from her seat like it was daytime entertainment. Then she quipped a look at James, “I wish you’d get those kinds of looks when I cook, you know?” “What?” he playfully scoffed back, “I do all the time!” Maybe it was something about the produce of this world, but the fruit was unexpectedly outstanding as well. The strawberries looked redder and fuller, tasted sweeter and juicier and the melon was rich and flavorful. Where was all this food last night? Was that entire pizza situation just a trick? Did they spike her food for some unknown reason? An Amazon’s hand backing her sippy cup slid it closer to her plate. “Don’t forget about your milk, hon,” Katherine reminded with a smile before sipping out of her mug. It smelled like coffee as well. Just as she started to wipe her mouth with her hand it was instant regret once she felt the excess syrup kiss the corner of her mouth. Pulling it back down she tried to lick the corner of her mouth before mumbling back, “I know…” And yet, now that the idea was suggested to her it hardly felt like something of her own accord anymore. Drinking her juice wasn’t her decision anymore. It was Katherine’s. “I need a napkin,” Dawn looked around her plate with not even that to be seen. Only then did she start to think of it as by design. Another roundabout sense of reasoning just to make her act more dependent than she really was. “It’s okay if your hands get sticky, Dawn, we’ll wash you up after,” Katherine spoke as she ate, having the audacity to use a fork and knife herself. More ‘sit down and shut up logic’, Dawn decided it as and begrudgingly picked up the sippy cup, already feeling the tips of her fingers merging against the plastic handles like glue. Setting it down was awkward as she tried to separate her hands from the cup. She was almost afraid to ask, correction, she was, but she still asked anyway. “What are we doing today?” “It’s a weekday, so we work!” James said quite simply. “I know that, but what are we doing about my situation? About getting me home?” They put her off once already and that had stuck here for an indefinite period of time. That didn’t mean she was going to let the wheel get any less squeakier. “Since I’m in the office today I won’t have any time to look into it tonight,” James explained and the look on Dawn’s face only worsened. “Tomorrow though I’ll be working from home, so maybe then.” Dawn tried to choke down a bewildered look. “Maybe? You can’t even guarantee me that? You’re telling me another day is gonna go by and nothing gets done? Un-fucking–!” “Dawn!” Katherine gasped at the same time as James butted in as well. “That’s enough with the language, do you understand me?” He gave her a quite serious look. “Katherine and I have given you plenty of time to get your attitude fixed. That stops now. The next time I hear you say anything mean or use bad words, it’s a bar of soap in your mouth, understood?” “Fine.” Dawn barked back, trying to at least have some dignity in squarely being put in her place. “You need to be on your best behavior today. She shouldn’t, but Katherine is taking you into her work today.” “What?” Dawn spun her head. “Since when? Why?” Katherine smiled innocently, sipping from her mug. “It was a little tough to find someplace on such short notice… And I promised no daycare today.” Again, it was the weirdest kind of whiplash that snuck up on Dawn at the least expected times. It was an anomaly as to what Katherine could seem to remember about Dawn. She could retain all the essentials, and yet disregard and filter out anything that’d clash with her perfect baby-little vision and fantasy. What mattered though was it seemingly had worked in her favor this time. “You work at a library, don’t you?” “Mhm!” Katherine nodded cheerily. “I help take care of the library and make sure all the books go where they’re supposed to.” Dawn could already imagine the back-and-forth she must have every day, walking down aisles and aisles of books upon books just to manage returns and retrievals for stacks upon stacks of them. How she was a fellow lover of literature, but not a willing civil servant of them. But as she remained quiet it only made more room for unfortunate thoughts to fester in her mind. She’d be going yet again out in public in diapers. That alone made her heart race anxiously. She could dish out an attitude and act pissy all she wanted, but it didn’t change how mortifying it was to be seen like this. After a bite of toast, James asked, “Think your coworkers are gonna give you trouble?” “They might give a little…” Katherine puffed her cheeks in thought, then looked over at Dawn. “Dawn? Sweetie?” More time left to her own devices also meant getting to eat more, unfortunately making her normalize just how messy of a process eating with her hands had become. She hadn’t accepted it, but she knew she needed to eat. “What?” “We need to have a little talk about today, okay? Just like James said, we need to be on our best behavior, okay?” She could already think of a littoney of reasons “why”, though Dawn couldn’t vouch for them being reasons she’d personally align with. And her use of “we” was awfully liberal, which had the same implications as when “we” get a timeout, or “we” get a spanking. It’s an awful lot of team-oriented vocabulary for a girl that’s always taking one for the “team.” “I know that already,” she briskly answered before her temper could lose itself. “That also means the way you talk to me, honey.” As if to imply that Dawn wasn’t a saint towards her. “I know that. I won’t be bit–” instinctively, the corner of her eye caught James, like her body was warning her to drop it and move on. “...I won’t be unpleasant.” As long as the same could be expected of everyone around her. “Thank you very much for being nice,” Katherine smiled, but Dawn had an inkling that there was more to it. “Another thing though is that when everybody sees us, they’re gonna think what most people do, okay? Remember what people thought when we went to the store yesterday?” It was such an earnest attempt at dumbed-down children-speak that her meaning missed Dawn entirely. She blinked, and before she could respond, Katherine apparently understood. Her face started with a small smile, “A lot of people yesterday thought I was your mommy.” Like it was a small hit from a drug the words seemed to put a tiny glow on her face. “You’re not, though. So if anyone asks we’re going to make that clear, right?” Dawn by now could infer the supposedly impossible, which is why she needed to find her moments just to make it that much more inconvenient for them. “I think it would be a lot easier if we played pretend, don’t you think?” “No, because it’d be really weird once people started figuring out that it’s not true.” “I promise if we play really well, no one will find out?” “You’re not my mom, Katherine.” It was starting to get annoying. Whatever Katherine thought she was, it didn’t change that she had the audacity to even suggest replacing her actual, biological mother. “But I can be your pretend mommy?” She still looked hopeful. “No.” Then she looked at James, just in case he needed cluing in. “She’s not.” But the Amazon she turned to was less inclined to using kid gloves, which is why James plainly said, “It’s not really a choice, Dawn. You will look like a mommy and her Little. With LPS already watching us we need to make it look like you’re being taken care of properly.” “And you will be!” Katherine added like a dog with a bone. “Fine. Call yourself whatever. I’m still calling you Katherine.” James sipped his coffee. “You can’t in public.” “What?! Why not? Kids call their parents by their first name all the time!” Admittedly, she knew that was wholly untrue, but it’s not like they’d ever been to her dimension to contradict otherwise? “Not here they don’t.” James put his foot down. “Dawn, if you say my name in public, people will think I might be mistreating you.” “Mistreating? How? If anything, that’s like making me more independent!” “Littles aren’t supposed to be independent,” Katherine started, then stammered back, “A-adopted ones… If grown-ups hear you call me Katherine, they might think something’s wrong. And…it’s a little embarrassing.” Embarrassing? For her? Being called by her first name was what set her over the edge? Lord, did she have a lot to find out. Apparently her name was off-limits, but certainly not Dawn’s state of underwear, nor her clothes, nor just about anything under the fucking sun that could constitute her as an adult! “Only good decisions today, Dawn,” James added as he stood from his seat, empty plate and mug in hand. “Today’s gonna be great, right?” Katherine smiled at Dawn once more, who was already anticipating another shit storm. “Yeah, sure.” 17 - Too Tight “Dawn? Honey? Please?” “No.” Her arms were crossed and she sat firm. “It’s not as bad as you think?” “Yes it is! I told you that!” There wasn’t any remorse for a person who so one-sidedly decided to spring this on her. Dawn didn’t ask for it, so she had no qualms in refusing it. “Don’t you wanna get out of that chair? There’s still a little time to play with Waver or watch cartoons?” “Then take me out of the chair!” With a hand on her hip, Katherine frowned. “Dawn, you need to eat your egg.” “No.” James had left a few minutes ago, and Katherine finished not too long after as well. Dawn, by her standards, was done with breakfast as well. But apparently not. She may have gone along with it, but by sheer circumstance and bizarre occurrence, the unrequested egg that’d miraculously appeared on her plate had still remained untouched. Where it went was of no concern to Dawn, as long as it wasn’t her stomach. Katherine was already lifting her not-sippy cup with hands on it, “Do you want some more milk to wash it down?” With a huff she pushed the plate back. “I don’t like eggs, Katherine!” And yet it was dragged right back in front of her. “But you can’t be a picky eater,” Katherine scolded. “Don’t you want to get out of that wet diaper and into a dry one? The longer you take, the longer it takes to get changed?” It was a low blow, especially with Katherine casually remarking about what Dawn thought was only known to herself. When did she notice that her diaper was wet? Wet wasn’t even the right word. She didn’t feel wet. The diaper had done its job and absorbed. It was just…fuller now. “...It’s gross, though!” “Come on, just a small bite, how about that?” Katherine left and came back with a fork and knife. She performed surgery from the next seat over, cutting off a small corner to an already bite-sized piece meant for Dawn. Holding it on the top of her fork, she held it out for Dawn. “Come on, open up! Say ‘ahhh!’” The closer Katherine brought the fork, the more and more Dawn leaned her head back, but the give and take could only last for so long once she was hard-pressed against the back of a chair she couldn’t get out of on her own. Being a cornered animal, she finally lashed out. Slap! Somewhat. Dawn didn’t slap Katherine, but the shock was still there, which was likely why she was able to get away with what she just did. With a swift hit she knocked the fork from Katherine’s grip, sending it clattering on the floor and the small, meager piece of egg with it. “Dawn!” Katherine gasped at the floor before flashing a stern frown back at her. But for once in this horrid timeline, the stars had aligned. The moment she heard paws scraping the floor Katherine spun her head. “Waver? No, No!” Dawn did her best to turn her head and see as well, though limited by her Little-proofed seat, she could only catch fragments of the ambush from her now-furry friend, Waver. She didn’t even need to see it. She heard the dog collar jingle, and she heard the fork scrape across the floor from being kicked by an eager paw. “No! That’s not for you! Drop it!” Katherine tried to command, but by the sound of her voice, the situation had already solved itself and slipped from her grasp. Rubbing her forehead she knelt down on the floor. “It’s fine…it’s fine…it’s just an egg…” she sighed, sounding quite beside herself. Katherine’s eyes found Dawn’s first before saying, “That was a very mean thing you did.” And Dawn was currently trying to not look purely amused for once. Maybe it was a great way to start the day. And now to send it home, with a smirk no less, “I said I didn’t want any eggs?” “I want an apology right now.” “For what?” “For hitting.” “I didn’t hit you! I slapped the fork!” Had this been a court of law, her argument might have actually worked. If only the judge and jury weren’t as rigged as an arcade machine. “We do not hit things out of other people’s hands, Dawn.” “And we don’t force other people to eat what they don’t want.” “No more back-talking,” Katherine kept her frown, sitting back down in the chair with the same fork. “If you don’t want to apologize then that’s fine. You’re finishing your breakfast though.” The Amazon looked to double down with her resolve as the fork soon had a larger bit of egg atop it this time, only now Dawn could tell that the fork wouldn’t be going anywhere unintended now. Now that Katherine knew to actually hold it, Dawn was competing against legitimate Amazonian strength. Katherine didn’t advance, and Dawn didn’t make any moves either, other than her grossed out expression slowly starting to creep on her poker face. “Dawn, baby, please?” Katherine was the first to crack. “I don’t want to fight with you! Please? Just one bite? I promise; that’s all you have to eat.” With her other hand she grabbed the sippy cup. “You can have your milk right after, okay?” As much as she hated to admit it, Dawn truly wasn’t seeing any other way out of this. She had her fun, but she didn’t anticipate getting any more tricks or escapes from this. It was Katherine’s final mercy on the matter, and she’d be a fool to not swallow her pride and take it. Like there was some final trick, Dawn kept glancing up at Katherine, waiting for the caveat or whole other egg hiding behind her back, ready to shove the entire thing in the moment Dawn opened her mouth. But slowly she did so anyway, somehow making herself even more vulnerable than what a diaper and effective high chair could accomplish on their own. A tight crease was forming between her eyebrows the more she watched the fork ease toward her, all ushered by the coaxing smile from the Amazon behind it. “Choo-choo! Here comes the airplane!” “Choo-?” Dawn couldn’t help but hear the obvious mistake in her spiel, “That’s not what a–!” And before she knew it she had already fallen for it. “Annnd chew…?” Katherine slipped the fork back out of Dawn’s mouth, leaving its unfortunate gift behind atop her tongue. It was bland. Rubbery. Foreign. It didn’t even taste like food! She wanted to spit it out so badly more than anything; she hated eggs. So much! But was it all the gaslighting that made her seem to hate it so much more? She curled her toes, practically ready to explode as she didn’t even try to chew, skipping straight to the swallow. Thankfully it was only a small bite, and small bites didn’t always need chewing. Having forgotten to breathe through her nose, Dawn gasped for air the moment her mouth was clear, incidentally flashing an empty mouth to Katherine, who made a noise of glee. “Good job!” Katherine smiled from ear to ear, setting the fork down. “I’m so proud of you!” Dawn knew what had been done. Katherine knew her modes of transportation from one another, which is why causing the confusion was purely intentional. Just enough to confuse the Little to put food in her mouth. “It doesn’t change that you tricked me…!” Dawn found the words right before accepting an open sippy cup to drink down a heaping helping of milk just to forget the experience. “But we’re all done now,” Katherine said with a soothing sense of finality, standing from her chair and taking Dawn’s plate with her. “I’m really happy that you did that, you know?” “Good for you,” Dawn scoffed sickly. “I feel horrible.” All she heard from behind was a short spurt of running faucet and Katherine’s chuckle. “I think you’re being a little overdramatic, silly.” “Yeah? What if I made you eat stuff you didn’t like all the time? How would you–!” Twice she couldn’t finish her sentence, but thankfully not because of eggs this time. A cold washcloth was smeared across her face from cheek to cheek, completely blinding her for a moment as a hand rubbed it across her. “Clean as a whistle!” Katherine finally pulled back the cloth. And what was not a moment of weakness, but being an opportunist, Dawn then held her hands out. “My hands too.” Need she chastise the Amazon for being the reason her hands had syrup on them in the first place? “Oopsies! Thank you for reminding me,” Katherine smiled, working Dawn’s hands over, finger by finger much more gently. “How does that feel?” she finally pulled back, “nothing sticky?” After making scissors with each pair of fingers, Dawn shook her head. “No. They’re fine.” “Good. Now, let’s get you upstairs and dressed,” Katherine lifted her from the seat, then Dawn watched her eyes drift down at her with a grin. “I think we’ll need to start using bibs from now on, too.” Dawn looked down at herself, displeased to find that indeed multiple splotches of syrup had made their way on her shirt. Her last shirt. The last shirt she had that was actually her own and had been brought to this dimension. She embarrassingly covered one of the stains with a hand like it somehow made herself any cleaner. “I don’t need a bib! You made me eat pancakes with my hands!” “You’re not in trouble, Dawn. It’s to keep your clothes clean?” “My clothes would be clean if you gave me a fork.” “You know we can’t do that…” Dawn couldn’t have sounded more aggravated if she tried. “Right.” And likely disillusioned into thinking her feelings could be solved so easily, Katherine gave her a short, soothing pat on the back. Once they entered Dawn’s room, the first place they went was the changing table. “Please…! Just let me do it myself!” “Sweetie, you might like it a lot more if you just relax?” Katherine sighed as she looked over Dawn. Effortlessly she tore off the tapes and got to work. “And I don’t need this stupid strap!” Dawn growled, trying to flex her muscles as she did her utmost to lift her upper half, yet to no avail. “We won’t use it once you can behave…” Katherine’s words continued to carry a sense of guilt, yet be it a higher power or instilled prejudice, she did not relent. Shortly thereafter, Dawn was in a new pair of underwear, albeit the horrendously absorbent kind. The Amazon was then gushing fawning noises. “Look at you! All clean and smelling so nice!” Dawn grimaced from the table, forced to smell the powder her own backside was covered in. One of the worst things in this dimension were the uncanny similarities. So many basic norms apparently existed here as well, which to an intrigued observer might be beyond fascinating and grounds for revolutionary research on the theories of multiverses. But for Dawn? For Dawn, all it meant was that she knew that she smelled like a baby because back home this was the exact smell babies had. This time Dawn wasn’t even asked to participate in undressing herself. Without a word, Katherine snaked her hands up Dawn’s sides, bunching her shirt along the way as she pulled it up, over, and off the girl. “I can take off my own shirt!” “I know you can, honey,” Katherine said as she set the shirt aside. Then she stopped for a moment, staring for just a second, then set Dawn on the floor. The pause didn’t go unnoticed by the Portal Little. “What? What is it?” “Hm?” Katherine tilted her head, apparently not on the same page. “Do you want to wear pants today?” “There’s nothing else I’d wear.” Dawn folded her arms, waiting as Katherine went through the dresser. Looking up at it, she was reminded of how nothing in it could ever be passed off as either dignified or mature clothing. Whatever was in there came from yesterday’s shopping trip, the same place that sold cribs and laxative-laced chocolates. “Well I think you’d look adorable in anything you wear?” Katherine closed the drawer, kneeling down with a bundle of new clothes. “I don’t want to look adorable. I want my adult life back.” Even putting it into words made her hurt, coming to terms with what the facts were right now. “I know you’re a big girl, though?” Katherine then held out a pair of baby blue pants by the elasticized waistband, “Step in?” Begrudgingly Dawn did step in, and as she did so she said, “Say whatever you want, but it doesn’t change that I’m being forced to wear diapers and call you my mother in public? James spanked me!” “That was because you were being bad, Dawn. But…I don’t like the idea of spankings either, sweetheart. I think we were all a little upset about everything that happened yesterday…” Rich. Because of course, if everyone was down on their luck, that apparently meant Dawn was taking one for the team. “Remember the timeout we had to give you?” Like it was yesterday…because it was yesterday. “Yes. I remember.” Dawn grumbled, allowing herself to be turned by the shoulders. “I bet that wasn’t so fun either, huh? But, even stuff like that can be good, you know? Sometimes we all need a little quiet time to think about our actions.” Just like how solitary confinement is supposed to make prisoners stay in line? Confinement didn’t beget reform; all it taught was to better hide malicious intent. Then a finger wedged itself between her bare back and bra strap. “Katherine? What’re you–?” The clasp was undone and her bra started to droop. “I was a little surprised to see you wearing one of these…” Katherine murmured. “Sorry? What’s wrong sweetie?” “Why are you taking off my bra?!” Dawn exclaimed, already fishing for the ends Katherine was holding behind her. “Dawn, honey, you don’t need one?” Katherine calmly said as Dawn could only whimper from her final article being removed. “Yes I do!” She stared up at Katherine’s enormous chest, big even for herself. Dawn’s relative chest size wasn’t nearly as big, but breasts were breasts and she was by no means flat. A snug shirt was slipped over her head with short sleeves and a length that just barely reached over the waistband of her pants. Looking down at herself the first thing she eyed was her chest, expecting to find two small tell-tale nubs, but she didn’t. No pointy-ness, and in fact, the same exact look as if she were wearing a bra, yet they felt and looked just as supported. Confused, she rubbed her fingers against the thicker material of the shirt. “The shirts they make for girls are made to cover up your privates,” Katherine explained with a smile. “You surprised me when I saw you wearing a bra! I guess shirts like these aren’t common back where you’re from?” “No…they’re not,” Dawn answered as she touched her chest, still inspecting the feel. Her shirt somehow worked just like wearing a bra, except without the strain of the straps on her shoulders? And to hammer it home, she bounced on her toes for a moment, surprised by the nonexistent bounce too. For all women? Dawn skeptically looked up at Katherine who seemed to have a much…heavier burden on her torso. “Your clothes are the same?” “Me?” Katherine blinked in surprise, then laughed. “No, no! Grown-ups still need to wear bras; that’s only for Littles.” she chuckled, and Dawn nearly tripped from the tremor that widened the gap. “Doesn’t it feel nice not needing to wear one?” Maybe on some level it did. Practically, maybe, but not in every way. Sure, it meant she didn’t have to wear one more thing, but it also meant she didn’t have to wear one more thing. An important thing. A mature thing. An adult thing. “...I want to put it back on.” The lack of enthusiasm must have surprised the Amazon. “What? Don’t you feel less stuffy, though?” “That’s not the point…” Dawn looked down at herself, at her specially designed clothes, feeling more corralled and collared by the second. “It…this feels weird.” Desperation hugged her throat and her eyes did not drift. “I want my bra back.” And while the insecurity was setting in, it was a cloudy forecast from Katherine’s shadow and her gentle shower of bad news. “Dawn, you’ve been wearing that for almost two days now. It needs to be washed.” “Th-Then…” Of course Katherine couldn’t understand. She didn’t have to wear kid shirts with bras built in them! “Can’t we just wash it now?” Dawn stepped in place, trying to discharge her bubbling emotions. Katherine folded her two-cupped friend and sandwiched it between her palm and thigh, calmly explaining, “Sweetie, we need to get going soon; it’s not going to be ready by then.” A small noise of frustration escaped Dawn’s mouth. It wasn’t targeted anger, but genuine discomfort. Discomfort that preyed on her mind and sense of self. “My…my other shirt? I want to wear that. The one I was just wearing!” “The one you got syrup on?” Katherine tilted her mouth. “Honey, what’s wrong?” “It’s nothing!” Dawn lashed, tugging at the bottom of the shirt with a sporadic thought that it’d suddenly become shorter. “This…this feels too tight!” This felt wrong. None of it felt right. “Dawn? I promise that you look pretty?” “It’s not about being pretty!” Dawn panted with a whine, throwing her hands off the article in frustration. “This…this is wrong! These aren’t my clothes…! These…this isn’t what I wear!” What was hers anymore? Maybe it was more lingering, remnant and pointless sentiment that was finally being peeled off of her, but it was nothing short of frightening. She didn’t have panties. She had diapers. She didn’t have jeans. She had elasticized toddler pants. She didn’t even have a bra. She had a babified Little’s shirt. “C-can’t we buy a bra or something on the way?” “There aren’t a lot of places that make those for Little’s, sweetheart…” Fuck! Why is there always some kind of reason…?! She wanted to say something back, but the frantic back-and-forth seemed more and more pointless with each time it failed. But more importantly, her shirt was feeling awfully tight then. It was shrinking. The room was hot. She could barely breathe…! In a panic she grabbed at her shirt, taking a few aimless steps back while she fought the fringe and started lifting it over herself. “Dawn? Sweetie, please? We just got you dressed…” It was a cocoon. A bio-morphing machine that was trying to change her. Everything was. Katherine. James. This dimension. These clothes. These diapers…! And all she could see was a pale mint green, trapping herself inside a suffocation chamber with a mind of its own. She twisted, contorted and pulled, but it felt stuck and immovable. And without a rational sense of self left, she whimpered as her feet couldn’t keep in place and the world went sideways. Without her knees able to touch and a constant muffled crinkling filling her ears, the room was only filled with her noisy diaper and madness to go with it. “H-help! Help me! Please! I-I can’t breathe! T-take it off…! TAKE IT OFF!” “Dawn! Honey!” And she flailed her feet and legs, crying as a nearby tornado suddenly swooped her in the air and she was too trapped in her prison to fight it. The air was running thin and she was feeling light-headed. Was this really it? Was this how she kicked the bucket? Suffocated by her own clothes and having her lifeless corpse flung about by an indoor natural disaster? Before she knew it though the tornado had her upright and with yet another swift swipe of wind her vision had returned. That being said, had Dawn owned her wet eyes she may have come to realize that. It was panting and sobs, overwhelmed by a mountain of change that was effectively trying to kill her. Kill Dawn. The actual Dawn, all so they could carve out her husk and stuff it with whatever this place wanted to. “Baby? Can you hear me?” Katherine’s words hit with haste but had a cushioned impact. “Shh…shh… It’s okay, see? You’re alright. Everything’s completely fine… Shh…shh…” Whether that was true or not, it wasn’t as simple as going from one-hundred to zero, and the decline was a long process indeed. Dawn heaved and hiccupped, left with no other choice than to lean into whatever soft mighty mass was being pressed against her. The disembodied voice in her frazzled mind continued to coo and calmly instruct. “It’s okay…all right? You can breathe… You can…nice and slow…deep breaths…uh-huh, just like that…” Dawn couldn’t even make words anymore, too busy trying to make her mouth and lungs cooperate with just the basics. Fear had seized her mind yet again and she was just finding the courage to reclaim it once more. The large thing that slowly and easily massaged her bare back was like the anchor that kept her ashore and afloat in the stormy port. It was her taut iron-linked chain she tried to sync her breathing with. Down it went, in goes the air. Up it came; exhale. Her arms felt cold, but it froze everything from within, harbored from the warm exterior that she was starting to realize. A warm hug, it was more like. Probably because it was. Finally, she opened her eyes, seeing that the side of her face was pressed against Katherine’s sweater-covered stomach. Her feet were suspended just where they came around her waist and had no lap left to rest on. Taken in by a subtle but calming fragrance, the accompanying warmth made her feel weak all over, had her panic attack not done that already. The symbolic tool she used to find the rhythm and structure was just Katherine’s hand rubbing her back, slipping itself easily under her shirt. The snug one, but also the same one that apparently wasn’t as impossibly tight as she thought. “Does your shirt still feel tight?” In any other context it would’ve come off as mocking. Of course shirts didn’t magically constrict or shrink as you wear them. That was obvious. Obvious to anyone of a sane and stable mind. The shame and embarrassment made her wince, but Dawn mumbled back exhaustedly, “No…” “Good. Let’s give it a few more seconds, alright? Breathe nice and slow. In, and out…In…and out…” And for once, Dawn listened without rebuttal. One step beyond her frightened self, it hurt to feel so vulnerable. To feel so unstable in a way that she’d never been hit by since coming here. Since embarking on this god awful, prolonged vacation. The day hadn’t even started yet and she was already feeling like shit… Since when could she not control her breathing? Since when was she a danger to herself? There wasn’t a single time in her life that her own emotions could be so volatile and lethal…! It sucked. So much. Just like with diapers, adorned right beside it on her wall of shame now was mental weakness. Panic attacks… Dawn for once didn’t need to ask for the gestures to stop. Katherine of her own volition eventually removed her hand, smoothing out the same shirt Dawn was certain was trying to kill her. While the massaging ceased, her hand still rested on the girl’s backside and lower back. “Feeling better?” Katherine asked from above, and Dawn wordlessly nodded. The hypocrisy would’ve been too damning to have taken the brunt of it now. Whether she wanted to openly admit it or not, Katherine was the only reason she wasn’t still up on the ledge right now. Her greatest enemy had for a brief moment somehow become her hero. How ironic. “Oh!” A quiet, upbeat chipper came from Katherine, and Dawn could hear her head turn to the spot she was already looking. “Looks like somebody came to see you!” Someone sure did. All in their four-footed swagger with a ring-ding from the collar around their neck and a wagging tail. Wagging as much as it was, the appendage stayed low like with his head, as if Waver were somehow in the presence of a king. Either that or he could actually get a read of the mood. It wasn’t the same energetic trot like he was always seen with, but instead a calmer stroll on over, resting right against Katherine’s leg and giving Dawn’s heel something to rest on. “Such a good boy…” Katherine cooed with a chuckle, losing her upper hold on Dawn’s shoulders just to pet the fur atop Waver’s head. With a voice that could speak to the smile on her face, the lover of Littles and animals asked, “Want me to let go now?” She did. She absolutely did, even if Katherine was the life support that Dawn needed in such a vulnerable moment. A moment that would have never happened had she not been in this situation. So if anything, this was just Katherine fixing the mess that she caused, was it not? This wasn’t Dawn’s fault. It was exploiting a part of herself that never had to be exposed. Of course. That was it. “...Dawn?” “Y…yes,” Dawn replied the second time around, too lost in her own thoughts to catch the first. “Okay,” Katherine obliged and moved her hand, and Dawn slowly slid down her pants, getting back on her feet. There was a second of imbalance and a moment of weakness, but just as she was about to stumble, Katherine’s hand found her shoulder. “Oops…is it hard to stand?” “N-no…” Dawn looked away, “I’m fine.” There was no gratitude expressed, but it didn’t stop Katherine’s appreciative look. In fact, it seemed as if Dawn said all that the Amazon needed to hear. “Good,” she exhaled softly. “If…if you ever feel like that again, you can always come to me. You know that, right?” “Uh-huh.” It was quick and dismissive. Actually choosing to use Katherine as a crutch? Laughable and sickening, just like the knot in her stomach right then. “Wanna stay with Waver while I go get dressed? I’ll be right back. Promise.” “Yeah…” Dawn said calmly and blandly. What else could she say, or in what way could she say anything? Hate was a hard emotion to process right then, and cheery felt just as wrong. So she kept it in the middle. Bland and lifeless. “I’ll be right down the hall…” Katherine assured as she stood, and even spaced the door some more on the way out, opening it wider than it had been before. At night it meant isolation, but apparently after a crying fit it meant total supervision. It was any Little’s guess why she wasn’t offered to sit in the same room as Katherine while she changed, even. But thankfully she wasn’t asked because it was far from what Dawn wanted. Anything in this dimension was far from what she wanted. What mattered and she desired couldn’t be attained here. It was all stuck with true safety across the dimensional border. Sitting back home. Real home. Home where her real mom and dad were. Her real family and her very real boyfriend. Staring up at the ceiling with the side of her vision obscured by a tuft of golden fur, Dawn wanted nothing more than for the nightmare to end… Then she shivered and quivered, feeling a tingle from her foot. Sitting her head up, she gave the culprit a mean mug. “Waver…stop sniffing my foot…!” “And you’re sure you don’t wanna listen to anything?” Katherine’s eyes communicated the concern she had all on their own through the rearview mirror. Of course she couldn’t turn around, and thankfully she never tried to, what with her hands on the steering wheel. “No. I’m fine,” Dawn tried to quickly dismiss the subject. Maybe Amazons did have good music, but that was only for Amazons. One trip in the car with Katherine already taught Dawn the kind of music she could expect while in attendance. Only the finest hit singles like The Wheels on the Bus or Ba-Ba Black Sheep. While she was a fan of contemporary, Katherine still somehow managed to miss her wide net. The one pseudo-plus she’d had all day aside from the pancakes was a new pair of shoes. While they wouldn’t have been her first choice, plain white sneakers beat whatever her pessimistic imagination could concoct, which surely would never match the cruel realities of a place like this. Though, sticking out her foot from her car seat once more, she frowned at it. Double knotted? Triple? Single, even? It went without saying that Dawn didn’t get a hand in tying her own shoe, as silly as that sounded, but expectations had been steadily plummeting as of late. Twice, Dawn had the chance to watch and listen while Katherine laced and tied her shoes right in front of her, but the moment then just like her memories of it now was a messy blur. The fox chases the ferret, up and down the tree! Up and over…up and over…right, left, right! Something, something, something… –All the way home! And one convoluted and confusing rhyme later and her shoe was snug and tied. Maybe the rhyme or the reason had some credence, but only in the “fox” part. Sort of. The loops of shoelace around the complex knot were in fact ears, but certainly not a fox. Probably. They were bunny ears, like they always were. Or…? How did fox ears look again? A simple question, one that she’d actually be able to get an answer to. After all, they were driving to Katherine’s work. The library. A place Dawn had only heard so little of, barely even now, the day of. Per what little lore she had and the bountiful experience she’d been given herself from her own college one, the obvious expectation was a building full of books and a meager crowd of few willing to learn anything from them. College libraries had the benefit of students struggling to pass and in desperate need of silence. Unlike school though, the public city ones didn’t necessarily have graduates and unders alike with such personal and urgent reasons for going. Books though… Lots of books. Lots of reading material. Opportunities to learn… And right before Dawn could reach her head up and over just to win that extra half an inch’s worth of view from her car seat, she squashed the unexpected feeling entirely. Excited…? Absolutely not. Not a million years. Before she was privy to the nonsense and humanitarian horrors this whole place had, sure, she had seen a few cool attractions. All in all the technology and infrastructure of this world wasn’t anything to scoff at. But not once did she feel so appealed to… It was her in-progress degree that spoke to the sound of crisp ink-printed paper turning from page to page. The smell of a new book. Soft covers, hard coves. Intricate spines, synopses sometimes on the back or on the inside. O-or! Or even on the inside of the sleeve itself! H-however…this was no time for a feeling like that. After all, need she forget her situation? How she was dressed? “Somebody’s looking a little antsy back there, huh?” Katherine chuckled and Dawn jumped (but didn’t go very far, courtesy of her car seat straps), making a noise herself. “Are you excited to see the library?” “I…I guess I’m a little interested…” Dawn quickly tried to calm herself down. “We never saw anything like that during the….tour…” Great, now she was reminded of a subject that was still freshly sore. “I can’t wait to show you!” The Amazon in the driver’s seat was far less reserved. “You know how our house has two floors?” Yes, one plus one did in fact add to two. “Uh-huh.” “Well, the library here has three! And they’re a lot bigger than ours.” Lots and threes didn’t put much into perspective, but apparently Dawn was supposed to work with what she had. Big and three floors. Okay. Still, three floors was interesting. She was only used to the one big floor design… And when they pulled into the parking lot, even from Dawn’s vertically disadvantaged view she could see the upper ends of the massive building. From the second floor up she could see the ornate windows, tall and wide, carved concrete trims and linings. Multi-colored brick and black-iron roofed lighting fixtures lined the irregular shape of the walls. Extrusions were inconsistent and gave the monument character, all on top of its choice-selected portions of the roof that sloped with heavy, thick looking dark green shingles. It was all the wonder and craze the design of her hotel had, but by so, so much more. “Is…” One question started, but another was already interrupting herself, “--wait, is that a tree up there?” Maybe it was some kind of decor or design she didn’t understand, but a pocket of the building came out up to the second floor like a giant outdoor balcony or patio, and sure enough, a big head of green foliage was sitting on the corner of it… “There’s a lot of cozy places to read books here,” Katherine spoke with pride. “If they’d let me, I think I’d just wanna live here…!” It was of course obligatory that Dawn considered next that this was undoubtedly the largest building she had ever laid eyes on. Part of that was certainly Amazons taking advantage of their size, but even within this dimension, she hadn’t seen anything as large. It was like a…stadium, or something! But for books! Forget her college; they didn’t have anything on this! Crap. Now Dawn couldn’t keep her feet still. Maybe she was a tiny bit excited. But only just a little. Maybe just a lot. She didn’t exactly have concrete expectations, but just from the outside alone? Was it fair to expect now something even beyond her wildest imagination? Regardless, she tried to not let it show, and she tried to stay calm. While she wasn’t going to try and be anything as disrespectful as she was yesterday, she’d certainly be trying to stay on the reserved end of things… The engine’s murmur finally stopped and Dawn’s many straps kept her from feeling the car come to a full stop. “Okay, we’re here!” Katherine announced with a cheery intone. With both hands grabbing her seat she spun her head, finally forcing Dawn to make eye contact. “Well? Are you ready?” “I guess…?” Dawn tried to play it off, using the thought of wearing a diaper as a wondrous tool to help ground herself. Though, it may have made her plummet a bit too fast, now dreading the feeling of being a public spectacle. At least there were pants this time… “I think you’re gonna have a lot of fun!” Katherine giggled right before slipping out of the driver’s seat. Once her door was shut, it was Dawn in the company of silence while she waited for the warden to set her free. Though, what slightly irked her more than it should have was the apparent detour Katherine made to the trunk. She was treated to the sound of birds and cicadas all behind her while the Amazon fished through the back. Another gentle slam and finally her sentence had ended. And while Katherine spent a moment on her car seat, she said, “So Dawn…do you remember what we talked about this morning?” A not so quiet sigh left the girl’s mouth. “Yeah.” Sure, maybe she was required to call for Katherine using a specific kind of title, but all she needed to do was not call for her at all? “Do…do you think we could try real quick?” she gave a hopeful look. Try? What, give the ‘M’ word a test run? It bothered the tiny girl to no end just how expectant the Amazon looked. Her eyes couldn’t hide the anticipation and celebration just waiting to jump out from them. Whether it was forced or not, it was certainly an experience Katherine wanted, and Dawn could tell clear as day. So with a bitter taste in her mouth, Dawn dismissively copped, “Mom.” And before she could finish the one and only syllable, Katherine’s teeth already came out to play and a gust of gratitude was just about to leave her mouth. But she stopped short. Her bouncing eyebrows slopped off at the ends as her inner points prayed for a far better result. “What?” Dawn frowned on the outside, but grinned from within. “I said it?” “W…well…” Katherine slowly tried to navigate the unexpected loophole while she finished unbuckling her. “I think it’d sound a bit better if…uhm, you called me Mommy, instead? Now this. This was fun. This was the excitement she needed. Nothing like a word game to get the real morning started. “Why?” Dawn asked and dared not repeat. Not even on a technicality was she going to make it easy. Why call you [BLANK]? Nope! How come you prefer [BLANK]? Zilch! “L…Boys and girls don’t really call their mommies that, Dawn? That’s more of a…grownup word?” “So I’m not a grownup, then?” Sort of playing along, but also sort of annoyed now. “You’re a big girl,” Katherine corrected and assured, yet missed the mark entirely. “But sometimes with Littles and their parents–” “Guardians?” Captors? Kidnappers? “Uh-huh,” Katherine nodded, but admitted to no fault, “with Littles it’s much more common to say Mommy and Daddy. Mom and Dad sound a lot more plain, huh?” Katherine made an off-face, like she was trying to appeal to Dawn’s kid-like emotions that didn’t exist. Dawn did not readily agree, so Katherine seemed to at least partially drop the indirect explanation. “It’s a little embarrassing if a Little you’re taking care of doesn’t call you that…” and to the woman’s credit, she didn’t hold Dawn hostage by keeping her in the seat. Suspended by sitting on her arm, Dawn had no choice in grabbing onto her shoulders. But before a smart-ass answer could be thought of, or another dumb kind of question just to twist the semantics could be made, a far more bitter, cheap and annoying move was used. “It sounds silly, but someone might call LPS if they think anything’s wrong?” And that would mean LPS gets involved, and that’s somehow bad for Dawn. Get removed from Katherine and James…taken somewhere…blah-blah-blah. Quite frankly, it’d probably be the perfect time to let somebody know that she isn’t from this world. And yet, that somehow was the worst case scenario. Trust was an awfully hard thing to stomach nowadays. “Fine,” Dawn put it briefly, far too annoyed for the game to have ended this quickly and so abruptly. What a sore loser, Katherine was. “Thank you,” Katherine smiled appreciatively, and the walk to the library began. “Since we’re here so early, not a lot of people come around right now,” Katherine explained the lack of cars and abundance of empty space. “We get really busy in the afternoon, though!” “Is this place really that popular?” Dawn asked, still marveling over the look, but fairly skeptical nonetheless. After all, books were just books. She knew the value in them, but that didn’t mean every other living person did. “Uh-huh! Lots of people like coming here to read books, but we also have movies, computers, and other tools that people may wanna use. We even just got a cafe last year!” “A cafe?” Dawn finally turned her head for that, and whatever look she gave, Katherine’s glittering eyes must have found it priceless. “Yep! They have lots of yummy desserts! If you want, maybe later we can stop by?” she tempted with her tone of voice. ‘Be obedient and I’ll pay you off with sweets,’ or something like that. “Maybe…” Dawn muttered while she admired the grand entrance. A short staircase prolonged over many feet with long, flat slabs. It plateaued out into a space with benches and islands of grass with trees. Everything about this place was breathtaking, and Dawn was afraid to admit to liking any of it. Did liking this mean that she condoned and accepted all the practices a place like this had? Was this what kept Earth from achieving such wonderful things? Just a discriminatory social hierarchy and a whole lot of diapers? Come to think of it… So just a whole lot more diapers, then? As they approached the front doors, Dawn watched for Katherine’s hand to reach, but it didn’t, given she was using both to hold her. So instead two unexpected things were noticed. One, was that the doors were automatic and sliding. Impressive. And two, was the strap over her other shoulder that had somehow gone unnoticed. “Katherine, what’s that?” “What’s what? The doors?” Then she followed Dawn’s finger. “Oh! That’s just a bag I packed for you? Though, I put some of my stuff in there, too,” she chuckled sheepishly, and Dawn wasn’t smiling. Calling it just a bag felt plain deceptive. Normal bags weren’t that wide and were far more nondescript. A purse wouldn’t be as big and with so many pockets and zippers. And any normal bag wouldn’t be covered in prancing cartoon puppies all over pastels. “I don’t need a diaper bag.” It felt gross just to say even aloud. “Sweetie, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about…” And for once she guessed right about how Dawn was feeling. Then again, embarrassment was only half the picture. She was partially correct, at least; so the same as always. “Why couldn’t you have just brought something normal? Like a backpack, or something?!” Or the best case scenario of all: nothing! “These are normal, Dawn?” Katherine jostled her shoulder either to adjust or bring even more attention to her entire arsenal of diapers, powder and more. “Besides, a backpack wouldn’t be big enough. Well, maybe it would have…but that’s only because we’re still getting you everything you might need?” What? What could she possibly need more than what a backpack could hold? Toys in case she gets bored? A second change of clothes should she– wait, no gross. Super fucking gross. Dawn dashed that thought right away. So finally, opting for the high road, Dawn frowned, “I’m upset you didn’t even tell me.” “...And I’m sorry for not telling you,” Katherine apologized, though it felt more like a performance than anything. Probably in her mind bringing a diaper bag was a no brainer. Poor Dawn was too busy with her cartoons to even realize that much. “But sweetie, you know we can’t go drive home every time we need to change you, right?” Yet another blow to her image. Did she really think Dawn was that simple-minded? “I won’t need changing,” Dawn seethed quietly, and finally their trip across the marbled floor opened up to an atrium. While daylight was bleeding in from all sorts of points, the most unobstructed example was a massive skylight from the roof all the way up to the third floor shining down on the first. Thick fancy rock columns started where they stood and repeatedly stacked from floor to floor, supporting each and every platform above it. Forget what was on the same level as them, Dawn spun her head just from the astonishment of the massively tall and mighty bookshelves she could see. Shelves that looked just a few feet from the ceilings right above them! They’d taken a step through time and reached the Roman civilization in its grandest, golden era. Poor Alexandria’s library was thought to have been lost, but it’d simply gone and disappeared to another dimension. Right here…! Practically a messy blur with how far away it all was, but Dawn could see the variation in colors, shapes and sizes that lined the endless and larger than life shelves. And…things were moving? Things hanging from the ceiling? Sure, there were many assortments of cool glass bubbles with lights in them, but machines moved quietly and seamlessly across the ceiling, following tracks like trains on rails. “What’re those?” “Those,” Katherine held Dawn close just to freely point up, “are special helpers we use to manage the library!” Special helpers? “So you use robots?” “Uh-huh!” And despite Dawn making it clear she knew the distinction between what functioned off blood and electricity, Katherine continued to explain, “They help us put books back where they’re supposed to go and get the ones we need! The library is a really big building, even for me.” So probably a mini city for Dawn. “Now we have lots of helpers that can keep the library clean and organized.” Dawn watched for a little longer, but the trolley started moving again and they were off. “So what do you do then?” The use of robots was impressive, but the greatest advancements always spelled the downfall for those they replaced. “Well, sometimes books can be in hard to reach spots or in places that you need someone like me to go to. And also, there can be days when one of the robot helpers can be feeling kind of sick, so it’s my job to make them feel better!” The layers she spoke with were always a mental challenge to dissect… But on a much more serious note, the actual skill involved in her job was bleeding to the surface. “Wait, so you do maintenance on the robots?” Apparently calling herself a librarian was selling it awfully short. In all honesty, actually, it was kind of… “Cool, right?” Katherine chuckled through a Cheshire grin. “Our book buddies get regular check-ups though, so they always stay nice and healthy!” “Huh…” Dawn commented as her head focused on the trail they left behind them. Adverts and signs sat on so many shorter shelves and aisles. Fun-looking graphics or simple, informative plaques and cards that indicated topics or genres. Though, what she wasn’t seeing were any sort of numbers to indicate sorting. Sort of, at least. Much more subtly it was a lengthy series of numbers, letters and symbols? Poor Dewey would be rolling in his grave. “How…how do you guys sort stuff here?” “We use a special system that’s kind of like a home address. Kinda like how our house has a specific street and number?” Katherine explained while they ascended a grand staircase. “Every book has a house and we remember where each and every one of them live!” Maybe they hadn’t gone for madness completely. “Yeah…we do that too, but…” Dawn frowned, finding that their sorting labels looked more and more like gibberish the deeper they went. “Your system looks weird.” “It can be a little tough to read,” Katherine agreed, but Dawn couldn’t tell if the Amazon was legitimately conceding or trying not to make the girl feel incapable. It was for some reason a hard thing to ask, but Dawn said aloud, “Well can you show me later?” “Of course!” Katherine couldn’t have sounded happier. Her hold on the Little squeezed for just a second, affirming the affection that words could not. “When I’m on my break later we can absolutely do that!” “...Kay…” Dawn kept it simple, still fighting that urge to stay reserved. It sucked because she was curious. It looked like heaven for books and they were walking right by all of them. A treasure trove of knowledge and literature, yet she couldn’t even understand the basic building blocks of how to navigate any of it…! But it didn’t change her urge to sift through it all and explore. Yes, an actual place she wouldn’t mind adventuring in. To think of all the wondrous things she might be able to learn. A wonderful reprieve from everything that sucked about this world. Hell, she could even try to learn more about the madness that dictated it! Another few moments of quiet observation and fascination ensued, though that was interrupted by a third person’s voice. “Katherine?!” A loud and surprised voice echoed across the marbled floor. “Sorry,” Katherine whispered in Dawn’s ear, “You’re gonna be a little popular today!” Much more clearly, aimed at the stranger and not Dawn, she chuckled, “Good morning, Grace!” The footsteps sounded louder and closer, to the point that the other Amazon was within conversing distance of the pair. “You’re joking, right? You had no plans to tell me?!” “Grace…” Katherine moaned sheepishly, “It all happened so fast, okay?” What, kidnapping a little? Walking her around like an accessory? Dawn still had yet to look at the other woman, She was busy pinning her chin on Katherine’s shoulder. “But….ah! I can’t believe it!” Grace cried a small cheer, “You actually did it! You and James got a Little! Oh my gosh, congratulations! What’s her name? When did you adopt her?!” Somehow Dawn’s head went heavier, trying her best to focus on the “Book Buddies.” Surely they looked and sounded more interesting than this one-dimensional giant sounded. Then an unwelcome hand started to comb the back of Dawn’s hair. The only reason she allowed for it was simply so she could use it as an excuse to keep looking the other way. “Her name is Dawn, and it was a couple days ago… It’s been a bit hectic, so we’ve all been adjusting a bit.” Yeah, but some a whole fucking lot more than others… “I can imagine!” Grace laughed, no less excited. And finally some kind of social awareness must have caught up with her, because then she gasped. “Oh!” Lowering her voice, she asked not so quietly still, “Is she a bit shy?” “It’s her first time here, Grace,” Katherine spoke like she was scolding, but it was far more fabricated than the tone she’d use with Dawn. Fake scolding, and that made it all the more frustrating to know that she personally had to put up with the real deal. But just when Dawn thought that Katherine was sort of on her side, a hushed voice coaxed right beside her ear, “Dawn? Do you wanna say hi to my friend?” A question, sure, but was there really a choice? Maybe there was, but also maybe there wasn’t. In any case, only one answer could be appropriate for both. Dusting off the rust on her swivel, Dawn turned her head, mouthing an awfully bland, “Hi.” Her end of the bargain as far as she was concerned was “behaving” and using the stupid M-word. Nothing else. Nothing at all. Grace, Katherine’s friend, was in some kind of uniform. She was almost like a stewardess in some combination of white and dark green. Skirt, blouse, nametag, and so on. Did people really need uniforms to work at the library? Whatever, Dawn didn’t feel like asking. And either her response was intentionally misread or deliberately skewed, Grace laughed as she said, “Oops, yep! She does sound a little shy. Sorries!” Sorries indeed. If Dawn had it her way, she’d like to go unnoticed the entire day just to get to the more interesting parts faster. The parts that didn’t include other people. “Today’s sort of like a trial run; just as we try to figure things out.” “James works from home though, doesn’t he?” A whole day with James? After the spanking, it felt just as undesirable as a day with Katherine seemed, but at least it meant the plus of getting to stay home. “Not every day. Not today,” Katherine clarified. “We’re still…figuring it all out, I guess?” “Uh-huh, I get ya! My sister went through the same thing with hers.” Her what? Actual baby? Or forever baby? “Trouble finding a daycare, I’m guessing?” And now the spotlight was on Katherine. “Well…” Katherine’s voice lulled, and Dawn quietly and expectantly waited for what better have been a damn good answer. “We’re not thinking about that quite yet… We just got her and all, so…” Fine, Katherine. Somewhat passing. “Actually, that reminds me; why didn’t you just take maternity leave?” Was that how bad it was? Kidnapping Littles really was tantamount to birthing a new baby? “It’s…a little complicated?” Katherine deflected, and Dawn wasn’t looking to throw any life raft to help, partly because she had no clue whatsoever on what to add. “We talked about it and are still trying to decide what might be best…” Now was that a lie or a genuine truth? If the latter, why the hell were Katherine and James having more conversations without her? “Is that why you called out yesterday?” Grace tutted and her frown was heard. “I hope you’re not reading books all the time when you’re supposed to be looking after this munchkin, you know?” “Grace, come on!” Katherine groaned defensively. “I’m not gonna do that!” “I know,” she sighed, “All I mean is that the first few weeks with a Little are some of the most important? I can’t believe the boss even let you come in today, with her, no less!” “It…took a little convincing,” Katherine laughed, though her tone carried the memories of a stern talking-to. “Oh! But, Dawn really likes books! Right, honey?” she roped Dawn back in, bouncing her arm just to double down on getting her attention. “...Yeah.” “Oh…! So today’s kind of like a little treat then, huh?” “Yes it is,” Katherine agreed unanimously, and Dawn the abstained said nothing else. Said nothing else until a new bombshell was dropped. “Oh, and actually, would you mind watching her for a little bit?” Katherine asked and Dawn’s eyes went wide. “I still need to go change into my uniform…” “Of course!” Grace obliged, and things were moving faster than Dawn could even get a say. “W-wait!” Dawn cried, finally speaking up before the handoff could happen. “I-I’ll just stay with you!” she said to Katherine, clearly looking not to separate. “Oh, sweetie,” Grace cut in on their one-on-one, “You don’t wanna go back there. It’s super boring. Mommy’s just going to get dressed!” Dawn didn’t care what this woman had to say, and still looked hopefully at her captor. But instead, Katherine offered a small smile and said, “I’ll be back soon, alright? Be good for Grace?” And it was a hard fought battle not to cuss right then. Betrayed and broken, Dawn went cold when a new stranger’s pair of hands took hold of her. “Grace is one of my best friends,” Katherine calmly and slowly explained, just to ward off whatever separation anxiety she thought Dawn was maybe about to have, and honestly was about to feel… “You can trust her, okay?” Then finally, she told her friend, “Please be gentle? This is still a lot of new stuff for her…” “Roger!” Grace assured. “And actually, Dawn! Your Mommy says you like books, huh? I know just where to take you!” “Wait, no!” Katherine, of all people, cried out. “You’re taking her there? I wanted to show her!” What? Show her what? “You snooze, you lose, Mommy!” Grace laughed, and Dawn didn’t know how to feel. It felt oddly uncomfortable to be looking at Katherine empty-handed because it meant Dawn was being held by someone else. Someone she didn’t know. Someone she didn’t trust, and the only way it seemed she could protect herself was by gambling on the right people. And a small bit of emotion escaped the Little, muttering Katherine’s way, “…Don’t take long…” A hand reached out and smothered her hair and forehead. “Promise!” Katherine smiled, lingering for a little longer, but Dawn and Grace heading the other way finally convinced the other Amazon to depart. Well great. They’d barely just got here and Dawn was being transferred like she was property. Immediately it felt weird. Grace didn’t hold her like Katherine did. Totally different arm feel. “So Dawn,” Grace immediately sprung into chatting the girl up, “your Mommy must be real excited to have you, huh?” “Yeah…” The honest to God truth. Likely for worse, though. “Is it fun having a Mommy and Daddy around?” “It’s something…” Something she probably couldn’t say bad things about without making a scene. “Something, huh?” Grace chuckled. “Well, your Mommy has wanted to adopt for the longest time! She’s been talking about it a lot lately, so I know you’re gonna get lots of love!” Enough to drown in, assuredly. “Where are we going?” Dawn opted for a shift in topic, expecting to get herself into “trouble” should they linger on anything undesirable for too long. “We are going to the best part of the library. Your Mommy loves getting to work in this part!” And in line with her explanation, the bookshelves in the area had dropped to about a quarter in height, offering a predominantly more colorful selection of reading materials. The basic adverts and plaques now didn’t go without caricatures and eye-catching designs. Friendly cartoon faces, rainbows, bees and butterflies. Letter blocks and stylized book graphics. The marble was sectioned by a sweeping rubber trim that defined the difference between professional flooring and colorful carpeting. Circles, squares, triangles and pentagons of varying size and shade were on the floor. The walls on the way back had painted clouds and flowers with smiling faces and more. If the demographic for the library was somewhere in the middle, this corner of the world they had reached was far beneath that. In fact, along that rubber trim was a simple but effective faux white picket fence sectioning off the large area. Hanging above the ceiling in a large sign, right above the opening to the pen was labeled “LITTLE LEARNERS CORNER.” The kids section. This was the corner dedicated for kids. “Ta-da!” Grace excitedly cheered, stepping inside. The centerpiece of the area was a small clearing, covered with a few big and lush bean bag chairs and plush cushions. At the end and designated as the throne though was a large Amazon-sized rocking chair. Dawn didn’t need any actors to figure out what she was looking at. The story time area. “This is where all the kids can come and read some really cool stuff! Wanna explore a little?” And before Dawn could refuse, she was being set on her feet. The bookshelves were shorter, yes, but that still put them well above the girl’s head. It was vexing to think that even the most childish parts of her favorite hobby still exceeded her physical abilities. “Wanna grab a book? It’s okay, you can!” Grace assured, and suddenly permission was given to investigate. Curiosity kept her slightly invested though. After all, books were books. She came up to a bookshelf tracing her finger along the wooden edge of the shelf, trying to spot anything at least worth looking at. Finally, she landed on a thick spine and pulled the book out, pleasantly surprised that it could mostly fit in her hands. Though, that was where the pleasantries ended. Yes, the book was thick, but not with content. Thick with a cardboard like material. The pages were far from thin, and the count couldn’t have been more than ten pages total, front to back. Before even reading the title she tried to skim with her fingers, but the pages obviously didn’t bend like paper did, leading to a methodical finger for each thick cardboard page. It was more illustration than words. Sentences stopped within eight words. A “paragraph” at best was three sentences at most. Then she read the title on the front. “KEEPING COZY” All capital letters. Not very hard to read. By design. Dawn sighed, slipping it back in. Okay, fine. Unlucky. She moved over to a different shelf, a bit more hopeful. Thankfully this one wasn’t cardboard, but it was thin… A low page count. With illustrations, lots of them. Thirty pages, at most, but the words could only account for forty percent of the page… The pages were wide, just so the cartoon drawings could fit. Only then did the imagery of discarded toilets, empty bathrooms and smiling children in nurseries make her concerned enough to read the title. “Potty Playtime!” “Ooou!” Grace commented from above, making the girl realize that she was in fact being watched. “That’s a fun one! Was some of it hard to read? If you want, we can set it aside to read for later?” Clearly her disdain had been mistaken for reading incomprehension. “N…no thanks…” Dawn tried to stay calm, slipping it back where she found it. She quickly made for a different shelf. Please, don’t let door number 3 disappoint. She moved and walked, trying to ignore her crinkle, and suddenly felt drawn to the higher shelves behind the rocking chair. Just by the distribution of size and width Dawn was feeling far more hopeful there. Content she had no idea, but maybe for being much closer to actual stories? Her hands latched onto a book far bigger than what she had just been touching. Amazon-sized, maybe? But just as she was starting to slide it out… “Ah-ah!” Grace tutted and Dawn watched her hand invade her vision and firmly press it back in. “Sorry, Dawn! Those are the ones the grownups read to everyone. Why don’t we go check out some other books?” Grownups only? Dawn scrunched her eyebrows and frowned. Turning in place, she looked up at Grace. “So why can’t I touch them?” Without skipping a beat, the Amazon explained, “Because those are for grownups, sweetheart.” “So I can’t read them?” “It’s a rule, honey. Books need to be taken care of, so that’s why you can’t touch the ones on that shelf, okay? Those ones are a little too big for you, but I promise you can see them once we start story time?” And like that her curiosity was dying fast. Not allowed? Against the rules? She turned and made a beeline for the exit. “Whoa, where are you off to?” Grace chuckled, having no trouble at all to keep ahead, and the audacity to lift Dawn and turn, positioning the Amazon between her and the exit. “I want to read books. Actual books,” Dawn frowned. “And there’s plenty to read here?” Grace smiled, but the look wasn’t reciprocated. “Why can’t I go out there?” Suddenly the white picket fence surrounding the space felt less like decor and more of a functioning container. “Because it’s easy to get lost, honey. We have plenty of fun stories to read here?” Sure, she had to behave, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t list her grievances, right? “I don’t care about the books here. I wanna go see what else is around here.” Go explore the big shelves. The genres and topics. Anatomy of foxes. Nothing about cozy playtime and feel-good fantasies that lasted for ten pages! The only reading material in here was assuredly for first graders and below, and that felt like a stretch. Kindergarteners, maybe? But firmly, she was denied. “No, Dawn. That’s a rule we have here.” “Wh-what? What rule?” “No Littles are allowed to play with the books.” E… Ex-fucking-cuse me?

Two Chapters. Merry Early Christmas, or enjoy the holidays in general! 43 - The Hand that Feeds You One pair of eyes just barely reigned above the other. Joyce quietly watched her secretary, quietly contemplating just what she was supposed to say. How she was supposed to think. Sheila’s pupils could barely rise to the challenge, falling far below their mark and weighed by sheer guilt she could only find herself realizing now. Courtesy of the executive floor, not even the sounds of countless employees and office workers could save either one from the deafening silence. With a floor left only to a small handful of people, nothing could rescue them from an inevitable clash. “...Sheila,” Joyce started, yet the air was already running thin in her lungs, “...I… I want to hear it from you. Tell me: what happened the other night?” The sleeves on Sheila’s blazer amassed wrinkles like they were bacterial colonies against her sides. Her shoulders were perched and contracted, so stiff that she could barely even rub one trembling hand with the other in her lap. To call it just fear would be a gross misrepresentation of all the cacophony going on inside the woman’s head and heart right then. It couldn’t be understated just how dazed she still was by the delayed remorse and regret of her actions, and only after being hit with pressure was she able to admit to any of it. And yet despite cracking under the pressure brought unto herself, Sheila’s chin aimed for the floor evened out once her head literally rose to the challenge. Her shoulders broadened with a breath from her nostrils, and she blinked. It doesn’t matter what I do now… I have to tell her. I have to tell her everything… And so she started by saying after a quiet nod, “Ms. Summers, I… The other night when you were gone on a trip, I went to your house to get a file from your computer… I was a little bit surprised to see Emily,” Little Ms. Summers, “but after making sure it was okay with her, I went to your office…” A short pause ensued, either to let her honesty and loyalty soak in, or just so both Sheila and Joyce could prepare themselves. “But on the way, I…” she brushed her temple with a finger, like it might somehow subside the shame and embarrassment, “I noticed that a…door was open.” “Did you think it was my office?” Joyce found the strength to stay straight-laced, holding her elbows. But deep down, under the hood, beyond the statuesque face of discipline and wrath, there lay the tiniest cracks, hoping for something. Take it. Tell me it was a mistake. Give me something…! Sheila gestured her head, only in the totally wrong direction. Rather than up and down, she swept from side to side, plagued with a look of shame. Whether it be her conviction as a person or her contractual obligation, not even under the weight of her career dying in real time would she falter. “...No…I knew it wasn’t your office. And…I knew that I shouldn’t, and it was wrong of me… But I did anyway.” With whatever dignity she had left, the least she owed to herself and her boss was trying to save at least the rest of that. But from Joyce’s perspective she was burning through her words faster than she could think them up. She knew what she was doing? She chose to snoop through things she had no business with? She didn’t know whether to turn up the heat or try not to cry. How could Sheila be putting her in a position like this?! The displeasure wasn’t being kept so subtly anymore as Joyce combed her hair for a moment, losing focus on her target while she asked, “Wh…what did you think you were walking into?” What did she think? Sheila went quiet, not from the shame, but for a true moment of introspection. It was entirely a selfish decision, but between it being for pure self-satisfaction in the name of curiosity or something more deliberate, well, she struggled to determine which. Her actions weren’t noble and they were certainly underhanded. She undoubtedly took advantage of her boss’ generosity and abused it for the sake of herself, to whatever end that might be. She not only put herself in a compromising position, yet so inconsiderately hooked a chain around her employer and their partner in the process. All for what? Just to know for certain who the diapers were for? “I…I wasn’t sure.” Joyce flapped her lashes and her expression froze. Didn’t know? Didn’t know why she was doing something that she wasn’t supposed to? “Y-you…so you did it anyway…?” From poor Joyce’s point of view, all of Sheila’s expressions were on the fritz today, because only now was she nodding when she was supposed to have been shaking instead. Quietly, and trying to do so calmly, Joyce’s hand underneath the desk continually flexed itself, fingers flinging in and out from her fist, trying to wring just whatever oozing discomfort was sifting through herself. “I…once I went into the nursery, I–” and her sorrowful look shriveled into paralyzed apology the moment Ms. Summers looked practically ready to shoot lasers from her eyes. “Th-the room,” Sheila meekly censored herself, “I…” and with her pride on the line as at least an honest person, the sky-high office was starting to feel warm with the heat localized around the secretary’s cheeks. Before the words could even leave her mouth her vision was dropping, just beneath her boss’ eyes and taking comfort somewhere at the nose. “...I was excited.” The truth had started to spill, yet hardly any of the emotional rewards were hitting, which was hopefully just a delayed reaction. Sheila’s lips were starting to implode as for the first time in ever she was learning what it was like to be on the literal receiving end of her boss. This wasn’t like any other time in experiencing the byproduct of someone else impacting her boss. This wasn’t residual anger or an upset influenced by some other factor that Sheila’s job was to decipher on her own. It was the first time she could readily identify the cause and had no way of dodging the crossfire, all because she was the root, cause, and epicenter of it. Just so she didn’t make a face, Joyce blinked. Excited? Excited. Was it fair to say how real this couldn’t have been? How imaginary that it might be, for a trusted employee who has been loyal for so long, taken care of so greatly, paid so well, to suddenly run amok so strangely? And yet, strange was precisely the name of the game. Stupefying. Surprising. Bewildering. Never once did Joyce actually consider Sheila’s stance on the matter, precisely because it wasn’t her business to that degree. But alternatively, it didn’t change the fact that Sheila was involved. As involved as Joyce had made her since the conception of custom-made diapers…! And then came another taboo. “D-does…does Emily know?” It was a quiet question from Sheila, yet the words came no less quickly to Joyce’s ears, scraping her insides like nails on chalk. Another forbidden topic that this time there wasn’t any real censorship for. No substitute like there was “room” for “nursery.” There may have been Emmy, but god forbid that had to be mentioned too. This was work and Emily had no business in it. She didn’t belong in an office like this, like she was a discussion topic… Not for things like this! It triggered almost a brief reprieve in Joyce’s mind, making her remember their discussion last night. She didn’t want to associate Emily with this side of her life, now largely for reasons like this. It was also another reminder of how Sheila apparently shared certain information with Emily over dinner, which in itself was only mildly frustrating, yet they were dealing with far bigger issues. With a tightened lid on a can of emotions already spewing high-pressure fumes from forming cracks, somehow she kept it together. “No. She doesn’t.” Yet, it would more than likely be a tough conversation they’d need to have. Just like this one, though probably worse. Thankfully Sheila was for once consistent with expectations as Joyce watched her nod slightly. “...Ms. Summers…would it be alright if I explained things?” Not as an excuse, because Sheila was more than certain of her faults. But at least as a way to offer insight to her boss with just how much of a mess Sheila’s mind was. “Yes.” Yes! Please! Explain something! Give me SOMETHING to work with! An excuse, a miraculous illness that somehow makes you prone to wandering into rooms…! Alcohol? Hypnosis? Drugs? Some kind of delirium pill that makes your body someone else’s and your mind no longer your own? Anything that had by this point a less than zero percent chance of being used, yet a point of fiction Joyce hoped for nonetheless. “Ever since you had me put in that order under an ex-chairman’s name…” her spiel slowed down, just to let her boss’ fury catch up, lest she might be saying something too explicitly. But she hadn’t, so she continued. “Ever since that point, I’ve…been thinking.” Thinking. So long. So much. So many questions. Yet not a single person to talk to about it. Not a single soul she would ever share with other than herself. It was her job to be a walking bag of corporate secrets, and now that meant interpersonal ones too, apparently. Deep, dark secrets, more than likely, yet just the fragments of them. “It…it’s not my place, and I know not to ask questions, so I never have and I never would, but…that doesn’t stop me from wondering, I suppose…” Even admitting to her own human nature felt shameful. She was supposed to be perfect and infallible, precisely because her boss wasn’t. Curiosity was far too human for someone like Sheila. She was a pillar and thus had no business leaning out to anything but what was being directly supported above her. Yet she did lean, and it was with eye-opening relief that the power structure hadn’t collapsed completely because of it. After clearing her throat, Sheila continued. “Ms. Summers, if…I’m being honest,” because that’s all she could be, “there have been many points lately where you’ve seemed more…affected by things than usual.” And now she was criticizing her boss? When would she be saved by a killing smite for such insolence? “We’ve even had some indirect discussions about ‘friends’ or subjects…” And as Sheila elaborated purely from a place of self-explanation, Joyce tried to keep her eyebrows and the corners of her mouth afloat “So with all due respect, I consider it my job to help balance your work…as well as understand at least some of your issues… –B-but, that doesn’t excuse what I did!” she quickly interrupted herself. “I-I just mean that I’ve become invested as far as things go with your moods and circumstances…I…I figured for a while now that there was someone in your life, though I guess I didn’t realize the specifics until that night at the hotel…” And above the literal conversation, Joyce was trying to chase away the dread of that night while Sheila shooed away the fluffy feelings she was starting to get. Thankfully Joyce’s leg was soft, otherwise she wouldn’t be able to hear the guilty party over the sound of her finger rapidly tapping something that could be much harder and much louder. But yes, that night. The night Sheila effectively babysat Emily, an action that Joyce condoned. “Ever since I offered that night to watch Emily until you got back, I…haven’t been able to stop thinking about your relationship because…” her voice briefly departed into the void. “I…because I’m used to staying on top of things… Somewhere along the way, I…I think I somehow convinced myself that better understanding your relationship with Emily might somehow help me do my job with you…” At least outwardly, it was a calm and quiet collection and intake of testimony and thought for Joyce. Piecing together whatever she could to make sense of Sheila. But as she was beginning to understand it, Sheila was predisposed to wanting to know things; a partial control freak. How eerily familiar that sounded, but what it didn’t excuse was simplifying her boss’ deepest secret into a personal factoid meant to affect performance and work ethic…! As the thoughts fell into place Sheila could barely seem to sit still. Squirming and wiggling in just the slightest ways, shifting pupils that panned from left to right just as they started to settle on something or anything. “So…” Joyce blinked, just as simply as the explanation for all this apparently and supposedly was. “You…you were curious?” Curiosity may not have killed the cat, but it sure did put careers at risk, apparently. With a moral compass that at least still knew how to point north, Sheila bobbed her head, nodding. “I’ve been for a while now, and it’s no excuse for what I’ve done… I’m happy and grateful you’ve decided to rely on me so many times for personal matters, even things partially related to work, but I feel that it’s finally put me in a position where I’ve made a careless and selfish mistake…” So it was indulging just a selfish urge. Joyce sighed as her hand covered her face. “How much?” “S…sorry?” “How much of it? How much did you see?” “...All of it…to my knowledge.” Everything. The diapers. The changing table. The pail. The crib. The giant stuffed bear. “...The closet?” Another solemn nod from Sheila. The clothes. But then again, Emily was the one greeting her at the door in footie pajamas… Emily greeted her. Dressed like that. Just like at the hotel, Joyce approved Sheila to take her girlfriend up and get her ready for bed. She told her to behave. To listen. She gave Sheila instructions on how to handle her adult girlfriend. She even gave the name of her stuffed animal… While a ball of guilt and shame sat across her desk, the blame and frustration was starting to feel sorely misplaced, at least somewhat. Sheila, under orders, was made to put in an order for adult, babyish diapers. While she may not tell anyone else, it wasn’t feasibly possible to make her not talk to herself? And when Emily was sad, Joyce sure was. Depending on the situation, maybe she was mad, even. Regardless, they were all uncharacteristic moods and mannerisms she brought into the office. What’s more, Joyce had already involved Sheila in a litoney of nondescript, “hypothetical,” conversations that certainly didn’t take a college degree to deduce. She even made her orchestrate a meeting with a baby furniture company…! And then the other night. Christ, how could this only be hitting her now, right in the midst of condemning her employee?! Sheila certainly did something she wasn’t supposed to, but if not for complete negligence from chiefly Joyce, and possibly a small bit from Emily following that (who was also just as preventable), there never would have been a chance for any of this to happen. The nursery stayed locked up for a reason, yet one early flight and a dirty diaper in need of discarding was enough to make the mommy forget how to close up shop. Consequently that meant giving Emily a chance to misbehave, and that also meant the same for anyone curious enough to walk right by a half-open door that should’ve been shut…! Giving the guilty culprit a second glance, the self-disgust couldn’t be any more evident within the judge at hand. This was hardly a form of justice at this point. Sheila needn’t say anything else and it all would have been more than enough for Joyce to see the straight hypocrisy and foolishness; the absurdity for thinking all of this could be exclusively one person’s fault. Or at the very least, just to see how much of it was really with herself. Sheila continuing to be fed small bite-sized pieces of information about Joyce and Emily’s personal lives that somehow involved diapers, cribs, clothing, and caretaking was no fault of her own. She listened and consumed, but she did her job nonetheless. She was involved because it was her job to be, and expecting her not to react to any of that in some way was moronic. She’s human! This was no isolated incident. It was all continuous gaslighting and Joyce forgot to turn off the stove. With Sheila sitting in her own wallow, too ashamed to look her boss in the eyes, it was ironically just another case of her secretary doing what she did best. Shouldering the responsibility. Of course she was curious. Of course she had questions. It was Amy all over again. Constantly and consistently their secret had been dangled over her like a carrot and stick, just baiting Sheila into wanting to know more. It was Joyce that HR would have a field day with. Yet thank goodness for independently contracted workers… Nevertheless, this was nothing but unjust discipline. This was plain entrapment. And with only more doubt caving in on her, that cleared the overhead for plenty more questions and misdirections. Was it really so weird anymore that Sheila stayed after the fact to make Emily dinner? She watched Emily once already while Joyce was away, so maybe she misunderstood it as a silent order from her boss? An expectation now after the business dinner? “Ms. Summers…?” Sheila gently nudged the spotlight back on Joyce, already sounding hesitant to disrupt the woman’s inner monologue. “You have my word: I have not and will not tell anyone about this…no matter what happens. I’m fully prepared to accept the consequences…” Whatever they may be. Regardless of how she felt. The gap in power and status was simply too mighty and too great for the guilty party to even conceive that somehow maybe the fault wasn’t just with themselves. “Sheila,” Joyce’s eyes wandered the office for a moment before finally making direct contact with Sheila’s. “The door to the…room,” she had seen it herself from the footage, but trauma and worry were great agents for fast-acting amnesia, “was it open?” “Yes…” Sheila offered a half-nod, finally bonding with the glue that stuck her to the seat. So open, though. Open and enticing. Tempting. A noise left Joyce’s mouth as she exhaled, witness to the final nail in the coffin. “Sheila…after hearing your side of things and considering my own actions…” and just maybe, slightly Emily’s too… “I think I’ve put you in a position with…unfair expectations.” Her mouth had gone sideways as her front from earlier was starting to feel far less than called for. “No, please– Ms. Summers. What I did was wrong, no matter the context. I just wanted to explain myself so I could–” “--No, Sheila,” Sheila’s words went limp the moment Joyce sliced between them. “I’m not saying at all that what you did wasn’t wrong. Make no mistake. You went into my home without me being there and specifically snooped somewhere that officially you had no reason to be. You have my permission to come and go as you need to, but you know that’s specifically related to work only. I’m still upset, Sheila…but I think I may have been treating this a bit too harshly…” It was probably only a definitive statement that Sheila was still on the hook as the main reason for why the woman didn’t try to say anything back to Joyce. Call her a glutton for punishment, but her conscience could rest lighter than it’d just been feeling with some form of atonement. “What you said is true,” Joyce admitted, trying to hide her own guilt now. “I’ve involved you in a lot of things that I’ve never let you in on fully. Not once have you ever asked me about any of the things I ask of you, but still you do so diligently and exceptionally.” Tone down the praise a little, Joyce…we ARE supposed to be reprimanding her… “It’s ultimately because of me that you’ve been exposed to stuff like this. And…if I’m being a bit more realistic,” and honesty was so hard to abide by, right now, “I’m sure you have gotten your own ideas about what’s going on…” And just for a moment, only the distant hum of the building’s vents were talking. Just like how Sheila resolved herself to finally sit still, she didn’t dare try to cut her boss off or jump in any more than she already had. Whether in good or bad graces, Ms. Summers was simply someone not to be interrupted. But with every pause or deliberate kind of speech, Joyce tried to hide the quirks, kinks and chinks in the innerworkings of her mind while she tried to navigate this. How was she supposed to stay firm without mentioning diapers, cribs, or any of the red flag words when it had everything to do with what Sheila had done? That wasn’t to say Sheila wasn’t picking up on any of this. From her seasoned perspective, the awkward balance in her boss’ voice, the tilted expression, furrowed brow and constant luls of silence were all a testament to how much of a screw-up she’d caused. Disciplining Sheila wasn’t just weird because it hadn’t happened since ever; it was difficult because it felt so inappropriate. And yet it did. But it didn’t. Yet the thoughts were interrupted when Joyce finally clasped her hands, finding what she believed were hopefully the correct words to immediately skip to. “Sheila, I’m upset and a little angry right now, but it doesn’t change how much you’ve done for me…and that I expect you to continue doing.” And what didn’t go unheard by the woman was an implication of the future. Continuing to provide for her boss. She couldn’t hide the jump in her eyebrows. “What you did was wrong and unacceptable, but bearing in mind just how much you’ve been involved with already…” sorry, Emily…! “This…isn’t the farthest thing from what I’ve already put you through.” Quite close, actually. Just put everything together in one place and there you have it. There Sheila legitimately had it. No. This can’t be right. I…snooped! I peeked in on her privacy! On Emily’s! I’m the lowest of the low. I took advantage of Emily in a difficult situation. I…she can’t…! She can’t just forgive me…! “But Sheila,” Joyce shifted and her voice became far more severe. “You’re one of my best employees and I want you to know just how important you are to me and this company.” While leaving it at that may have misconstrued it as praise… “For the exact same reason, you need to know how difficult of a position you’re putting me in having to talk to you like this. I’m largely upset in part with how I even found out about all this to begin with!” “Yes…” Sheila remorsefully agreed, nodding with her eyes at the desk again. Finally with her words carrying her criticism to somewhere much more objective and separated from the problematic content, confidence was starting to come with the vocabulary now as well. “You’re my secretary Sheila because of how well you do for me and for your honesty and transparency. That part does not come and go as you choose.” She nodded again. It was a total and whole-hearted agreement. It was the exact kind of pressure and scolding that she needed and wanted. Ms. Summers was a generous woman, so to somehow land back in her good graces unscathed after all of this would’ve been a punishment in itself. The flame was low but the pressure stayed unrelenting. Joyce channeled the best attitude she could; reminiscent of a stern talking-to with a girl sneaking ice cream when she wasn’t supposed to, only now tailored for someone that didn’t spend half their time in diapers. “I can maybe understand what you were thinking, Sheila, but that doesn’t excuse your actions. Despite everything I’ve asked of you, it still stands that you abused a privilege I gave you.” At the very least Joyce didn’t feel the need to remind her of her contractual obligation to maintain secrecy. It was an unfortunate instance of Sheila finally slipping up, but it didn’t change the fact that she was a smart person. “From now on there won’t be any home visits unless I’m contacted and I approve it beforehand. Do I make myself clear?” Without hesitation Sheila agreed on a visual and audible front. “Yes.” “Good. And on that same train of thought: anything that you do at my home needs to be approved from now on. By me and no one else. Understood?” Dinner…she must be referring to that… Another heat of the moment type of situation that Sheila was currently being trained to feel adverse to. While it felt far less damning to have been caught in that situation, that lack of outright guilt made room for embarrassment. “Yes…” “These are all new rules moving forward, and this is me trying to be cognizant of the fact that I’ve involved you in a lot of ways that’ve left room for misinterpretation or mistakes.” And while it didn’t quite sound like one, Joyce said it anyway, “You have my apology for that.” It was bittersweet to everything she had just said before it, and would certainly feel so after, but Sheila wishing to right her legitimate wrongs wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. “There will be a punishment for this, Sheila, but I’m going to need time to think of a fair one.” After all, terminating her right-hand woman felt like more of a punishment to herself, which after exposing Sheila to so much felt almost proper. If only it wasn’t a paradox that still punished Sheila the worst. Thankfully for both parties, firing wasn’t even remotely on the table, much less the same room. “But the last and final thing I’m going to say Sheila is this: no more secrets. If something happens, you tell me. No matter what. Whether you think it was a mistake or you expect me to get upset or angry, it’s still your job to tell me.” Then came her last and deepest cut. “The first person I should hear about my secretary overstaying her welcome at my house is you, Sheila. Not my girlfriend. One of the biggest, if not most important things that I expect from you Sheila is honesty and transparency. One last time. Do I make myself clear?” Sheila’s answer wasn’t immediate, and the delay wasn’t spurred from hesitation. She didn’t dare disagree on a single point, all in part to her selfless attitude and moral compass. Her boss was right in every sense and she had every right to say what she said. Finally digesting the full weight of her words, Sheila opened her mouth. “Y…Yes, Ma’am. I promise. No more secrets. This won’t ever happen again.” The discipline all things considered went down easy, and that made Joyce sigh, easing back just slightly into her chair. “Good. Another important thing is I don’t want this to affect how you do your work, Sheila.” Mostly. “Do as you have been doing and I don’t expect this to happen again.” “Of course.” Sheila was hardly a woman of faith, but the sun seemed to be shining just right on her that hour. If not her boss herself, clearly someone was keeping an eye out… But with the bulk of the branding already behind her, that made what did linger feel much more prominent in Sheila’s mind. Honesty. Being truthful. Truthful about all of it. Sitting there, seeing Ms. Summers seem glad to be past a situation she herself clearly didn’t like, that alone put Sheila’s head in a discomforting place to know that the stones could settle more than this and she had yet to do so. And asking for things to proceed as normal was an easier thing said than done. Neither one probably felt as comfortable as they were putting on, especially Joyce. The shell shock from doing something she had never hoped to was still just starting to set in and she could tell from the way Sheila was back to fidgeting that she was clearly taking it all in as well. But that was that and the past was in the past. “But okay, we’ll leave it at that,” Joyce decided with her best business smile. “Sorry to take up your time, Sheila. Would you mind seeing if there’s anything that I’ll still be able to make it to?” “Yes…” Sheila nodded, but she wasn’t moving from her chair. Her eyes were someplace else, staring off at something far beyond the four walls of Joyce’s office. “M…Ms. Summers? I…I would like to start being honest now, if that’s okay…” And just as they’d surfaced from the turmoil, a hand was pulling them right back in. The light and airy atmosphere that Joyce imagined was starting to come back dried up instantly the moment another towel of dread was cast on them. Most importantly: what in the hell could Sheila possibly have to share now? Joyce the mighty mommy could hardly be put for a scare, so twice now in a single sitting was quite the problem. “Yes…?” Joyce cautiously accepted, though her irrational side was wishing she hadn’t. “I…I was curious.” Sheila stated. Quite clearly with an unavoidable look. Ah, yes, restating the facts. Smart, Sheila! After all, Joyce’s memory was a bit hazy at times, so there wasn’t anything like having a post-meeting reminder, that way she could– “A-and I’m…still curious…” Come again? While her eyes moved, Joyce’s plastered smile did exactly as it was constructed to and nothing else. A perfect mask for the jarring disbelief from what she was starting to hear. Still? Still curious? A-about… “When I…after I saw what I saw…I got the file from your office, and I…had the chance to talk with Emily a little. It…it reminded me of taking her back to your hotel room… And I’m the one that insisted on making her dinner… She wasn’t sure, but I insisted and did it anyway… I wanted to stay and do that because I…guess I wanted to feel like it was at the hotel again…” But that was hardly even scraping at the truth. The identifiable truth that Sheila knew, yet was too afraid to say, but her pride didn’t allow for secrets. Especially not now. Her honesty was demanded and owed. Whether it sounded weird or perverse; disgusting or rage-inducing, it needed to be said and the air needed to be cleared. Otherwise, it was all bound to fester and grow to yet another bursting point, one Sheila imagined that would be far less forgiving than this time. Slowly, Sheila brought a hand to her chest like a structural beam that gave her support. “Ms. Summers…I liked taking care of someone… O…of Emily.” And from Joyce’s corner, her reaction certainly did change. Not one blink this time, but two! And by no means did it stop Sheila’s guilty admission, as she went on to explain, “I…I don’t know why I feel like that, but…I guess it makes me feel similar to how I feel working for you… Satisfaction? But…I also see it as an extension of my work that I do for you. I don’t know if that’s me just trying to justify a different kind of feeling, but I had fun… It was fun getting to make her dinner…I had fun getting to talk to her about you and work…” But it wasn’t the same kind of fun she had with Greg, her fiance. With him it was lovely, romantic and so many other positive words from the nearest, biggest dictionary. But with Emily? Light, airy, pure and fun was all she felt. It put her in a different place. It wasn’t like caring for her dog, or helping direct her boss. It hit all those same veins, but the satisfaction was far too unique. And after seeing the diapers, the stuffed animals, footie pajamas, and even the affection her boss had for Emily… Wasn’t this just babysitting? “I…I liked it a lot, Ms. Summers… Not romantically. In any way whatsoever, but…it made me feel almost like a…caretaker…or something.” Probably more than twenty minutes ago they had gone well past a point of what’d be considered workplace appropriate, hence the shades of red intensifying on the secretary’s face. She was coming to a revelation at the same time she was broadcasting it to her boss. To someone she shared a work relationship with, yet gushing out such personal and intimate details. And like that, curiosity had certainly killed the cat. Good thing Joyce wasn’t one though, so save for her mind she wasn’t in any way seriously harmed. Sh…Sheila…of all people…? And as shocked as Joyce was, that didn’t stop the smile on Sheila’s face. While one was still recovering from the emotional and mental shrapnel, the other could finally breathe with a weight lifted off her shoulders. C…caretaker…? B-babysitter? Joyce looked slightly up. Sheila…?! “I’m…sorry about that, Ms. Summers,” Sheila pressed her lips, looking apologetically happy, of all things. Yet even now she didn’t fear the retaliation of being fired. After all, Ms. Summers was a person of her word? “Would…would you like to discuss anything else?” And now with the shoe certainly on the other foot, the boss could hardly answer to her secretary from so far below. “N…no. Not…right now…” Joyce wanted to at least stand and send her off, but the thought of managing on her two legs was daunting just to think of right then. Curiosity was peculiar, but not unexpected. But liking it…? A single word, yet an entire metric ton of so many things to unpack. What did like even mean? Like… Emily’s kind of like? Joyce’s? Ah! No! She stifled and smothered a scream. With a hand finally rising and plummeting to the top of her desk, she calmly waved. “You…you’re dismissed…” Christ, was termination actually off the table? Sheila was great, but shock was an awfully powerful thing… Miraculously energy had been passed from the scolding to the scolded. Sheila was the one at fault, and yet she was the only one better for it. With a laptop clutched against her chest, Sheila smiled with her departure for the door. Needless to say, nothing of anything seemed to have gone according to expectations. “Ms. Summers?” Sheila called, halfway through the door. “Yes?” “One other thing that I learned…uhm… I wasn’t sure if you knew…” At this point, Joyce was ready to stop her right then and there. Leave the surprises for another day, just so she had the strength left to focus on the rest of her day. But reluctantly, she didn’t and allowed Sheila to speak. “About Emily…” Wait. No. Stop. Stop. Stopstopstopstop! “I…” and Sheila. The same Sheila Joyce had known for years to be a near-robotic, well-oiled machine for work and little else, made a noise from her mouth. A noise that wasn’t words, a grunt, sigh or annoyance. A laugh. A chuckle. Humor? Her mouth closed reflexively, but a puff of air came out with a small chuckle. “I don’t think Emily likes beets very much…” Even now Sheila could see the remains of her dinner plate. All the red, yellow and greens had gone, but the one thing that looked just as prominent from the start was a plate full of purple magenta. While child rearing wasn’t what she went to school for, experience still served as a wonderful tool when it came to diagnosing a picky eater, and that she believed Emily was. …Doesn’t like beets. And thankfully, before Joyce could respond, her office door was shut and she was all alone again. Whether she believed it or not, objectively, Sheila had been disciplined. Yet with a whole can of worms opened because of it. …Beets… Later that evening, Joyce felt distracted, to say the least. So busy wandering in her own mind that she could barely even focus In the pursuit of trying to make heads and tails of what happened with her discussion with Sheila, the world around her and the work before her was totally secondary to the shock that she was still trying to process. Sheila liked it. She liked taking care of Emily? But what does that say about all the baby stuff? Did she approve of that too? How the hell am I supposed to work around her, now? Do we NEED to talk about this again? I have to work with her on a daily basis…so what now? She was smiling! Sheila! What’s the next step? Do I ask her more questions? T…try to find out more? Do…do I tell–! “Oof…” a quiet sigh followed by a warm squelch came from player number two once she announced her arrival. Her second announcement really, as Joyce was too busy on her computer to notice her enter the office. Before Joyce knew it, there Emily was, straddling her thigh with her eyes on the computer screen. Only after a few seconds of silence did Emily tilt her head back with a curious grin, dropping the hair hanging on her ear. “Whatcha working on?” While it had yet to be said, it was obvious Joyce had been spacing out, to which all she could give was her own smile, albeit a bit more embarrassed. “Just…catching up on some work I didn’t get done today,” Joyce explained while she pulled a certain somebody’s T-shirt out of the back of their diaper. “Very clever, by the way.” “What? How?” Poor Emily. Lying just wasn’t part of her skillset. Stooping her head forward, sinking her eyelids and raising her eyebrows, Joyce coyly remarked, “The fact that you’re telling me you have a diaper that needs changing?” And like Joyce’s leg really was a horsie, Emily squeezed her own together just to hang tight with a bashful look. “No…it’s…not that wet…” “Uh-huh,” Joyce dismissed and ended it with a kiss. “Think you can hang tight for a little longer? I wanna finish this report I’m working on.” “Can I watch? Oh! Wait!” and Emily half-waddled off with Joyce leaning out of her chair just to watch her rear slip past the door. Not much later and she came back. Not with a phone in hand but instead a puzzle cube. “Ah- no, in my lap, please. No horsey rides tonight,” Joyce corrected and directed with a laugh, finding things a bit more comfortable this way. Thankfully there wasn’t much longer for her work. Emily was small, but Joyce wasn’t super strong… Sitting up straight, Joyce rested her chin on Emily’s shoulder while she tried to focus, now taking in her co-pilot as a lovely little ball of white noise. Well, white noise only for so long. “Can I ask a question?” “Hmm?” Joyce hummed while she rubbed Emily’s cheek with her own. “Did you talk to Sheila today?” While there wasn’t any piano for music to suddenly stop, Joyce’s typing certainly did. Only after remembering to act natural did she resume. “I…did. It wasn’t exactly fun…” Joyce sighed, “I’ve never had to have a ‘talk’ with Sheila before, so it was a bit much for us both…” But so, so much more for Joyce. And she knew without a doubt it would be so much for Emily. Not to mention it was edging on a line so dangerously close to what Emily’s superstition was fearful of from the start. Sheila knowing and telling other people. In spite of everything, Joyce still believed in Sheila’s discretion, even if she was now seeing a side of her that she could never even fathom. “...Do you not wanna talk about it?” Quite frankly, Joyce had enough of everything for one day. She didn’t want the stress of conversations and breaking things down for others, especially Emily. There would be no secrets, but that didn’t mean there couldn’t be a clause for how long it took to reveal said information. “...To be honest, no…not really. But I promise, I’ll tell you about it later. It’s a lot to unpack, but I think we’ll be fine. Trust me?” Once she could process it herself and lastly dilute it into something safer for Emily, then she could know. And as a pleasant surprise, Joyce earned herself the loveliest kiss on the cheek. “Kay. Mommy,” Emily giggled. A content noise left Joyce as she rested her head completely now, still managing to finish the last few sentences she had to. “You seem kinda tired,” Emily remarked, though too busy looking at her puzzle in-hand rather than the screen or her partner. A soft smile grew on the woman’s face. “Could you tell I’m lying if I said that I wasn’t?” “Yeah,” Emily said thoughtlessly, sounding like she missed the tone of Joyce’s banter entirely. “Mm. Well, maybe a little… But don’t worry; not tired enough that I can’t change a diaper or two.” “I can do it myself, you know…?” Anything to alleviate Joyce’s stress and workload? “And saying silly stuff like that is what keeps you in your wet diapers five minutes longer.” A bold, but expected taunt. By now Emily should know the kind of bear she was poking… And as her own form of retaliation, Emily gyrated her hips, wiggling in place just to rub it in. Though…maybe it sounded better in her head. All Joyce got was a frictionless massage from a plastic butt sliding around in her lap. Emily got to become more acquainted with her spongy seat… “Oh? Is that your way of asking for ten more minutes?” “N…no…” “Emily, I appreciate the offer, but I’m not that tired. I’ll never be too tired when it comes to taking care of you.” A wet kiss made good on emphasizing her point. “Got it?” “I figured you’d say something like that… Can I at least help make dinner?” “Only if I can get another picture of you in your apron?” “...No diapers though, right?” “Sure.” Maybe when her back is turned, though… “But how was your day? Good?” “Sorta. Same old same old, but I did my chores.” “Good job,” Joyce spoke with genuine praise. Even if it wasn’t much, especially for an adult, that didn’t change the pride Joyce loved to indulge herself with. Emily could brush her teeth and it’d still be cause for celebration. It needn’t be mentioned, but talking about Emily’s days always forced the association with why she had so much free time to begin with. Now with the unspoken topic on the table, Joyce, of all people, decided to broach it. That being said, not in the way Emily was sorely expecting. “So…? Did you ever decide to give Amy a call?” Suddenly Emily looked coincidentally busy trying to pull two interlinked wooden pisces apart. “Uh…no…not yet. I…haven’t decided.” “You can’t decide on something if you don’t know what to expect yet?” Call Joyce crazy, but she was somehow the most receptive to Emily hearing out Amy’s offer. For work! Why, though? Maybe at least in Joyce’s eyes it didn’t strike her as traditional work. She wasn’t expecting the same nine-to-five that she lost Emily to every day of the week. Not the same kind of workload, stress or unavailability. Not only that, but she had expectations and direct connections to Emily’s boss this way. It was a safe and reliable way to keep Emily busy, and while she’d never say it out loud, it was a way for Joyce to…supervise? “I…know… But is it even going to be actual work? I wanna….do work-work, Joyce…” Emily said as she tinkered with a logic puzzle. The more time went on and on the farther her memories of doing actual tasks drifted away. The more she relaxed and lazed around, the more out of touch with being a working, contributing adult she felt herself becoming. Call it a judgmental attitude, but working for Amy didn’t seem very official… In Emily’s eyes it was almost like going over to a neighbor’s house to help with stuff like raking or packing boxes. What kind of work could Amy possibly have for her? Modeling? How was she supposed to model for tailored outfits? She certainly wasn’t good at sewing either. Correction, she had never even touched a needle and thread. Half of it was downplaying the opportunity, and the other half was downplaying herself. Inadequate skills for a job that probably wouldn’t even be a job. So many thoughts that involved so many doubts, all allowed to collect and permeate and not a single phone call had been made. “Work is work, Emily. Calling Amy doesn’t mean you have to commit to anything? Besides, it might help you keep busy during the day?” And give me back all the household responsibilities… “Mhm…” Emily nodded anxiously. She pulled at her puzzle a bit harder. “It would be nice to be a bit busier again…” “Right?” While a traditional job Joyce was certainly not in favor of, she could always get behind filling up Emily’s day. “And just so I can be your number one supporter, I’ll go ahead and let Amy know that you’ll call her Monday morning.” “Wh-what?” Emily spun her head, nearly smacking Joyce on the nose. “No! Don’t! I’ll call her!” When I’m ready! “And it’s already been well-over a couple weeks. You had your chance, Emily, but now I’m gonna help.” “Don’t…!” Emily upped her whine with an annoyed rub on Joyce’s leg. “You’ll be thanking me later~,” Joyce gave her another kiss right before sliding her off and standing up. “Now if you drop it, I won’t make you wait another five minutes and I’ll change you right now?” And Emily’s lips did a dance as her mouth opened, but only whimpers and grunts came out instead. “N…nnn….not fair…” “It’s because I love you,” Joyce chuckled, draping herself over Emily like she was a jacket. “Now, ready to go get changed?” “...Yes.” “Good.” With that discussion unfortunately ended, one short trip later to the nursery and Joyce was on her second wind with how she moved about her station like she was working a kitchen. Emily was her sweet and tasty morsel, the powder and wipes were her tools and ingredients, and lastly the diaper served as just the most breathtaking, adorable garnish she’d ever laid her eyes on. “Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you,” Emily spoke over the loud diaper tapes. “I got a call from Michael today.” “Really now?” Joyce did look curious, partly because she usually expected to be the first one they reached out to. Then again, she had been particularly busy today… When did she last check her phone? “Carol was trying to reach you about something. I dunno what though… Maybe it was about that kink-vestment thing?” “Kink-vestment?” Joyce looked taken aback, and that only made Emily giggle. “Came up with that one on my own. Good, right?” And suddenly a speckle of white powder was on Emily’s nose. “Silly. Very silly,” Joyce grinned, wiping her nose off with a wet wipe. “But okay, thank you for letting me know.” “Oh!” Emily openly eureka’d as she took Joyce’s hands and was lifted up and off the table. “How about you call her and I get dinner started? Please? I’ll just get the pots and ingredients out, and stuff!” In other words, no knives and chopping, no stoves and boiling, no ovens and hot flames, no nothing without Joyce’s supervision. Baby rules could be weird, but Emily wasn’t willing to die on that hill today. “...Okay, fine. Yes, you can,” Joyce agreed and Emily tried not to squeal with delight. It wasn’t often she won “debates” like that. But what could she say? A new diaper simply felt like shedding her skin. She was fresh and newly rejuvenated. A new day and a new Emily. Stronger than ever before! “Now scoot,” she signaled the start by swatting a padded behind. “I brought back some chicken and vegetables today. Think you can get those out?” “Can do!” “Thank you, and no running, please!” Joyce called after a crinkling blur. Doubling back to her office, Joyce found her phone, and sure enough there was a missed call from Carol. About what, though, Joyce wasn’t sure. By the time she came into the kitchen and at the island the number was dialing. “Right there…” Joyce instructed in a whisper, pointing Emily’s destinations out as she appeared with all the right things in hand. “We need spices…–oh, don’t worry about those, though. Those cabinets are a bit high; I’ll get them aft– Oh, Carol? Is that you?” “Hey Joyce! Sorry– I tried reaching you earlier. I think I called at a bad time though.” “No, no…sorry, it’s just been a busy day. Is everything alright?” “Hm? Of course! Michael and Jackie are good. If Emily’s there, tell her I said ‘hi’!” Dropping the phone to her shoulder, Joyce mimicked a handsy wave at Emily. “Carol says ‘hi’.” “Hi!” Emily grunted right back, dropping a chair beside the counter with her bum sticking out. But before Joyce continued the conversation, she was right on her feet, one-handedly sliding Emily off the chair and carrying it back to the table. In a lowered whisper she looked awfully stern. “I said leave the spices to me, got it? No high places.” And Emily, who was well aware of how much she was trying to push her luck, relented with a sigh, trying instead to find anything closer to the ground that she may have missed. “Sorry…” Joyce had the phone back up to her ear, though half her attention had gone to watching her charge like a hawk now. “Emily says ‘hi’ too. So what’s going on?” “Well first, I’m sorry that whole event I took you to didn’t really seem to work out. I figured I’d try anyway…” “No, no, thank you for inviting me in the first place! If nothing else, it was pretty…eye-opening?” That being said, after a particular thing that happened there, she wasn’t going to be keen on asking for another invitation in the future… “Well, I’m not going to go into a whole lot, but I feel like there was something about that night you didn’t tell me…?” “S…sorry?” “You remember Logan, right? The host of the event?” “Yes…” Joyce said with half her head in the game. The other was ordering her body to grab a glass above Emily that she was trying to reach for, just before she could start to get any ideas. After a tender rub on her head Joyce was sitting back down. “Y-yeah, I remember? What about him?” “Well, he said someone came to him after the event and they were asking for you? Something about wanting to apologize?” And a name had yet to be said, but Joyce was already squeezing her phone. “Uh…huh?” “Do you know anyone named Isabelle?” 44 - Business As Usual Self-built success and self-made achievements always felt fulfilling. Hard work and luck that put you so high off the ground in such a lavish and spacious place was always something that could make a person grin. Similarly, being at the peak of performance and power also meant getting to dictate yourself and everything below, hence why Joyce wasn’t in the office today. Given recent…events and developments, the start of the week today was a pseudo-prolonged weekend with most of her work getting done from home. A work from home day was perfect in avoiding some of the personal politics, ironically. Maybe it was bad to say, but admittedly, Joyce may have been avoiding certain people that would remain anonymous… Coincidentally, she hadn’t been speaking with her secretary very much that day. But that was naturally a coincidence, of course. Success wasn’t without its trials and tribulations, however. While the work in the grand scheme was fun, and of course the expensive treatments and influx of wealth did make it all worthwhile, it didn’t change the struggles that came with being so intimate with her work. Sheila may have managed and framed her day, but setting the groundwork was only half the battle. Reports, writings and documents were always going by Joyce like a revolving door. There was always the option of deferring it to someone else, yet that meant surrendering the responsibility and control her position was supposed to have. In other words, the work could be stressful, but it was her work and no one else’s. Like many things, lately, there were just things she wouldn’t let anyone else have. Pleasantly selfish by her nature, Joyce exhaled as the home office chair rolled back against the shelf. “Just a minute past noon o’ clock…” Joyce muttered to herself, glancing at the time. And like that, a minute more her break would be extending by. And with that it was time for lunch, and time for checking in on things…! Watering the plants, dusting the shelves…checking the diapers… She made sure to put on a dramatic reveal when she bobbed her head out from the corner, just to surprise Emily laying on the couch. But a slight problem with that, being that Emily wasn’t there. Tucking her mouth behind her cheek, Joyce puffed as she walked around, trying to pin down the whereabouts of her charge. “Where did she toddle off to?” Mommy muttered under her breath, peeking in the empty kitchen, then double backing to the nursery. The guest room? Just before she was about to start using her words, only on the third trip around the apartment did something seem out of place. A particular door was closed. One that usually stayed open, because there was enough trust by now to keep it that way when diapers were in use… She didn’t knock, nor did she call. After all, what was there to hide? Twisting the unlocked knob, Joyce walked into the bathroom, immediately noticing that the light was on. And before she could notice– “J-Joyce?! Why didn’t you knock?” a frightened little girl cried from the corner. And rather than answer a silly question like that, Joyce turned her head to face her and said, “Emmy? What are you doing in here?” Poor Emily, clearly having thought she had all the time in the world to do what needed to be done, was somewhat stealthily squatting beside the toilet, hanging on to the closed lid with her other arm hooked around Pip. “J-just…” her eyes dropped down to the toilet. “Ch...checking on stuff…” Checking on things. Emily, Joyce’s sweet, cute, dependent little girl, snug in a damp diaper, had miraculously decided she wanted to play pretend and be the plumber that was messing with their toilet. Well, from the heated look on her face, Joyce tried to hide her bemused smile, barely standing from cuteness overload. Poor Emily. She could sneeze and Joyce would be squealing. “Uh-huh…?” Joyce nodded, and it was a silent understanding that the little girl had been found out, but it didn’t stop her from trying. “Sweetie, you know you shouldn’t be playing around the grownup potty?” Urgh. Grownup potty. It hit Emily like a truck and blossomed butterflies in her stomach. The way she said it so sweetly and syrupy, as if the girl couldn’t put mature thoughts together whatsoever…! Her knees were shaking from trying to support herself physically, mentally, and emotionally. The regret felt instant from being caught like a deer in headlights. What gives? She planned for this! Joyce was supposed to be working now, wasn’t she? Or…shoot! How much time had gone by? Wasn’t she in the clear? Crap! “Come on,” Joyce softly beckoned, holding out a hand, and weakly, Emily took it without much explanation. And on the way out Joyce scolded, “Emmy, sweetheart, you’re only allowed in the bathroom when Mommy is too, understood?” “...Yes…” “That’s when we brush your teeth or it’s bath time,” she continued, just because she loved to hear the sound of her own authority. Correction, she loved to see Emily squirm from the pressure. Emily nodded, trying to reconsider her plans as well as maybe realize she was in the clear? Sure, her plan was foiled and she’d been “caught,” but apparently Joyce hadn’t actually figured out what she was trying to do, thank God… That would’ve been definitely embarrassing. She dared not smirk, not even when standing directly behind Joyce. Somehow she had eyes in the back of her head. Weird, but Mommy was omnipotent in the strangest of ways. Enough to make Emily fearful of challenging her strength. Better to be right alongside it than on the receiving end… So cutting her losses, Emily sighed as she resigned to live with the discomfort in her tummy for a little longer. After Joyce went back to work she’d try again… “Sorry, Mommy…” Emily muttered an apology, and a pleasant smile grew on her partner. “It’s okay, honey, but no more playing in the bathroom, alright?” Maybe locking it again could be a good measure… Or even better, what about just a lock for the toilet? Did they make that sort of thing? Oh, the ideas…! “Uh huh…” “Good. Now, is somebody ready for lunch?” The perks to having your master chef girlfriend working from home. “Yep!” “That’s what I like to hear!” Joyce beamed on their way to the kitchen. A gushy, squirmy Emily was always nice, but maybe a giggly happy one was just a teensy bit better? Another perk to working from home was the perfect excuse to keep Emily in diapers all day. After all, if her caretaker was going to be around, what reason was there not to? At first Emily was hesitant, primarily out of selflessness for interfering with Joyce’s work. Though, all it took was a little bit of insistence, reasoning and possibly sending her to bed in a diaper already to get the ball rolling. Having a big baby in the house was hardly an inconvenience to her work, come to find out. Emily was independent and (usually) responsible enough to be far from anything high maintenance, unless Joyce wanted her to be, and it always made for the perfect excuse to drift from her work just to peek inside her girlfriend’s cute pampers. Though, maybe the lack of constant supervision was getting Emily in places she shouldn’t be… “What were we thinking for food, huh?” Joyce asked while she looked for plates. “We can do…salad? Fruit? Sandwiches?” At least from the office ordering food was more her speed, but it felt a bit unfair to expect her imaginary toddler to read from a long and complicated lunch menu… “Do we have peanut butter?” Emily asked, and Joyce chuckled. “Yes, we do. And jelly,” she connected the dots. “How about that and some bananas?” “Yeah!” Emily readily agreed. PB&J paired with bananas? What a wonderful combination that sounded like…! “Then that is exactly what my little princess shall get~!” Joyce intoned right before smothering her girlfriend’s lips. “I think I may just want you for lunch!” she teased and Emily tugged away with a bashful grin. And Emily didn’t need to ask, but it went without saying that her meal would be going with the finest sippy cup of juice, curated and aged within the perfect window of four days since being purchased at the local grocery store. And Joyce thought her wine was good… “Oh, baby,” Joyce called like it was an afterthought, but it wasn’t. It was something she’d been dying to say since she spotted her little deviant misbehaving by the toilet. “Go poopy now so I can change you before I put you in your high chair, okay?” From Emily’s perspective, it was just another moment of abrupt and horrible timing that her mommy girlfriend always seemed to nail. No precursor or sign that she was going to talk about anything so personal so openly and unashamedly. “H-huh…?” And Joyce, without skipping a beat, plainly repeated, “Go potty so I can change you? You don’t wanna sit down in a messy diaper, honey.” There would certainly be some waterworks to go with the telltale smell. She knew?! Emily’s worried expression was starting to show, and it became clear she knew exactly what she was seeing from the start. Emily wasn’t actually playing in the bathroom, would you believe it. Instead, she was doing the best she could to abide Joyce’s very demanding diaper rules… A small reason she never voiced openly about today being a baby day was the fact that she had yet to make a…movement since early yesterday. If she was stuck in diapers all day, there was hardly a chance in hell she’d actually get to use the toilet…! But when Joyce caught her, she figured it out in seconds. Holding Pip, just like she was trained to, Emily was trying to give herself all the stimulus she needed to mess herself. And it would’ve worked too, had it not been for that meddling Mommy…! So Emily’s muscles tightened as she didn’t know how to look or respond. She’d been found out and was hardly prepared for the brunt of it. And the entire time her mommy was watching her. Calmly and expectant. And quivering from Emily’s mouth, she mumbled, “I…I don’t need to–” “--Yes, you do need to go potty,” Joyce finished for her, “and I don’t like you worrying about that stuff, baby. Is that what you were trying to do in the bathroom earlier?” Everyone knew it, Joyce just wanted a confession. Out came the silence of Emily’s embarrassment. So yes, she was answering ‘yes’ to that question. “Sweetie,” Joyce came over, grabbing her shoulders. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, okay?” “C-...can I at least do it in the–” “--No,” Joyce jumped in yet again. “It’s perfectly fine, Emily,” she soothed with a hand through her hair. “I’m not gonna watch and I’m not gonna make a big deal out of it because it’s nothing special. This is normal, okay?” No different from when she wet her diaper. Maybe it was a little cruel to admit, but Joyce was sort of waiting to force another moment like this… Being the one responsible for changing her diapers, of course it didn’t go unnoticed that they had a grand total of about one, maybe two number two’s they’ve had to deal with in a fast-growing portfolio of many changes. From a purely professional standpoint, it was a detriment to her diaper training and all the work they’d put into her bringing pip to the potty… So to capitalize and exploit those efforts, Joyce forced her down into a squat, crouching with her the whole way as gravity itself pushed the flustered girl to the floor. “You just do what you need to do and we’ll change you right after, okay?” Joyce rubbed her head before standing back up. “Do you want your paci?” Maybe a little…wait–! “N-no…” and while she said it, what had to be done still wasn’t feeling quite real. It was more a situation of respecting Emily’s outward wishes than reaching deeper for what she knew her little girl was feeling on the inside. Sometimes, and only in extremely controlled amounts of moderation, it was deemed necessary to leave Emmy to her devices. Even little girls sometimes need to be a little stubborn… “Okay,” Joyce smiled like nothing was amiss and no diaper was about to be filled. “Once you’re done you can have changies,” and with not another word spoken, she pivoted over to the counter and started preparing lunch. Emily quietly watched, still in her squatting position, trying to catch even a glimpse of Joyce watching her. She was, but she wasn’t. In her peripherals? Probably. But staring directly at her? None whatsoever. She was busy doing her motherly duties, minding her own business as much as she needed to. Emily was a background decoration, one about to make quite the disruption that was “normal.” It was expected of her. Things got easier with time, but this hardly felt like one of those things that really got broken in. There simply wasn’t getting any used to this sort of thing…! And maybe it was Joyce’s primal parts, but her ear may have twitched once she heard the gentle grunt. She dared not to look, though. Not after her little speech. Problems only got as big as they did or were even considered one purely based on perception. Problems were a construct born from inconvenience. But who decided what was and wasn’t an inconvenience? Messing a diaper surely wasn’t one of those things, and Joyce would be sure to hammer that point home quite hard. It was normal. The day-to-day. Dirty diapers came and went just like the wet ones; just like the tantrums, the timeouts, the misbehavior, the cuddles, the coos, and so much more. Embarrassment was a trained emotion, and just like her bathroom habits, all her little girl needed was an extensive course in undoing all those yucky things that kept her chained down. So while Joyce didn’t watch, she certainly listened as her little treasure grunted like the booming drums of liberation. The boom-booms that’d be liberated from her… Good thing she was fully turned away to grin at herself for thinking of that one. And Emily teared up as her hands found the floor, pushing uncomfortably as Pip sat on her hands. It felt just as hard the first time, but maybe because it's been so long since then. Christ, did it actually get easier if she kept doing this? W-wait, why would she even want to do it? She didn’t, but it was a two-way crash both parties were speeding to each other. If Emily didn’t make the decision to do it herself, Joyce certainly would like she had just now. It was ironic, thinking that Emily was allowed to do her bathroom business now anywhere but the bathroom. As Joyce liked to ever so eloquently put it, “You always have your bathroom!” and she’d chuckle like it was the cutest thing for Emily to ever disillusion herself into thinking otherwise. Maybe it was a little condescending, but it was a complement for the genuine and tender affection she did always get. Making a mess like this was certainly one of the biggest lows of being a baby, but if this was as bad as it got…? In exchange for all the cuddles, the gifts, the affection and love…?After all, if it was something bad or un-fun, Joyce did always seem to be the one cleaning it up… Just like the last time, her muscles finally gave and the stress and tension slipped the moment her bowels did. It was another all to once performance that left her panting, tired and weary. The same self-disgust, the same fear from sitting on her bottom. Anything but that. And the smell…! But no words needed to be said when Joyce already had her on her feet, humming and shushing her all the way to the nursery. After a tender rub on the far shoulder Emily earned her slow, waddling self a kiss on the cheek. “So proud of you…!” That made one of them. “Okay…I’m gonna be a bit longer, but I’ll be out regularly to check on you, okay?” Joyce hung a hand on the doorway to her office, unfortunately having to return at the fast approaching end of her break. “If you need anything, just come in and ask.” Imagine that; asking to be excused from a meeting because her daughter needed some juice or a diaper change? Agh…! If only Emily were selfish enough! “Okay…uhm…I’m all set, I think…” Emily thought to herself, now of a much more stable mind, what with a dry diaper on her hips. She’d been prepped for the long haul. Her tummy was content with peanut butter, jelly, juice, bread and bananas, and she was armed to the teeth with her mochi friend and a sippy cup full of juice. The warfront was harsh, but she was built to survive. “Good,” Joyce nodded, rubbing her head. “Don’t forget you have all those toys in your nursery, by the way? Go play with those if you get bored.” After all, being a baby for the day and having Joyce home meant her weekday chore privileges had been revoked. What little girl would be trusted with the vacuum cleaner? “I know…” Emily nodded simply, squeezing Pip. It was sort of a bad look to be caught with other stuffed animals… In the time she had gotten to know her friend, Pip was sort of like Joyce; he didn’t like Emily cheating on him with other stuffed friends. How did she know? Intuition, or feeling. Probably. Joyce got him for her, after all, so clearly he must take after her girlfriend? At least Mr. Bear was an exception. “Oh, but that reminds me!” she said as she glanced at her phone. “You’re getting one of your big girl privileges today.” Come again? Emily blinked, clearly taken aback by the B-G word, especially in the same sentence as anything to imply it was being reinstated…! No more parental lock on the computer? Being allowed to climb on chairs to reach the high cabinets? Ice cream?! “Use your phone to give Amy a call about that offer, okay?” Instant disappointment. Her expectations weren’t very high, considering she wasn’t allowed to climb things, still, but somehow Joyce managed to go even lower than that. “Blegh,” Joyce mimicked the expression on Emily’s face, “Yup, I know, Mommy’s a meanie, but you need to call her. Just a little chat, okay?” “But…what if…?” Emily tried to excuse herself, then shrugged her shoulders, like that all somehow made up a justified reason. “I dunno…?” “Mm,” Joyce pressed her lips, as if to digest the nonexistent thought. “Emily, you can call her now, or we’ll do it together once I’m done with work.” Was that an ultimatum? Aside from her tone, that didn’t sound so bad, actually? “And if I have to do it…” Wait, maybe not. “I’m going to start by apologizing for how long it took to call her,” she warned. “I’ll let her know that you were too busy napping in your crib, playing in the bathroom and eating your lunch to call?” “Don’t!” Emily commanded in the best big girl voice she could muster, but her diaper crinkled at just the wrong time. “And I won’t,” Joyce booped her on the nose, “If I hear that you did it yourself?” And just in case if Emily’s feelings were convincing her to misbehave and possibly “pretend” that she did what she most certainly did not, there was always texting Amy herself to confirm. “You’re my good girl, Emily,” she kissed her one final time on the forehead, “so go and show me how good you can be.” With a lackluster response from Emily, Joyce left it at that as she disappeared into her office. And now with a sucky feeling that didn’t involve a pacifier, Emily sulked back into the living room. She found her phone on the stupid coffee table in front of the stupid couch, watching the stupid TV play some stupid show. Why was she even anxious, or dragging her feet? What was stopping her? Was it the lack of officiality? Was it because Amy knew what they were like now, or that diapers were a permanent association for her now? So many layers and so many possible reasons; so many things that Emily was just assuming. She didn’t know what Amy thought and she didn’t know what this offer even was… But the worst of it? Sitting on the couch, just in a diaper and T-shirt, told to go play pretend by Mommy and make a big and important business call. She sighed, sinking her chin into her hands. Playing make believe was hardly a pastime in itself, and she was being told to get in the mood for it? Stupid. So stupid. She rose from the couch, fingering the screen on her phone as she scanned the contacts. Sure enough, at the top there she was. Amy. Though it wasn’t Emily who put her there. She sighed again. What’s the point in having a stupid password on your phone if your girlfriend knows it? Joyce got to know all the passwords… Emily didn’t. After a swig of her afternoon juice, a small thought occurred to Emily; some way to at least make the pain go down a bit easier. Ceremoniously dropping her phone on the couch, she half-vaulted over the back of the couch and padded her feet down the hall for the nursery. “You’re…!” she grunted, grabbing, tugging and dragging, “Coming with...me!” She would never be so rude as to call anyone fat…but…some could certainly be fluffy… For example, if your hips were wide enough to stop you from getting through a doorway, at least for her furry friend, it was probably a cause for concern. Once she made the swap from carpet to hardwood floor, things were a bit easier. Joyce was busy doing adult stuff, so that meant Emily had free reign (not really) of the house. She situated her newest staff member right by the corner where her view of the TV was unobstructed and next to the terrace doors. She crinkled over to the couch, retrieving all her office supplies (sippy cup and phone) and made a daring trust fall into the corner, being caught by her very own personal secretary. One that probably wouldn’t go gabbing to others about her diapers… Now she was starting to understand the appeal of being her own boss. No wonder Joyce liked this stuff. Big office? Pampered by a secretary? Heck, Joyce probably didn’t even do anything important! She probably just signed her name in places and told other people to do other stuff. If she didn’t know any better, Joyce probably had her own giant stuffed bear in her office…! Though, she probably didn’t sit in Sheila’s lap, which occurred to Emily as she sat in her bear’s. “Mmm… Mr. Bear?” she asked aloud, squeezing his soft, plump and stubby leg. “Hold my calls. I have an errand to run!” she leapt from her secretary’s cushy body and scampered off back down the hall. And right as she was about to get into the bedroom, a voice called from the nearby office, “Emily? Are we behaving?” “Yes…!” she droned back. Her hands hung on the doorframe, waiting for an answer, but nothing came. Good enough. Goodness, who’s idea was it to let a competing company stay in the same building? A very fair point that a fanatical Emily wondered as she rummaged through the closet, smuggling assets from her enemy. Joyce told her to make a big girl call about work, so obviously that meant dressing the part, didn’t it? Well, unfortunately due to recent wardrobe changes, Emily’s other set of attire didn’t exactly accommodate her newly instated bathroom needs, hence why she simply needed bigger clothes. It was always easy to run away with the fun and carefree thoughts the moment they piqued in her mind. Don’t think too hard and just go with the flow. That’s what Joyce always told her to do, right? So, it only felt right as she went back and forth from closet to dresser, grabbing what suited her fine business tastes, especially when it came to ogling Joyce’s underwear. It was really impressive, actually! “Whoa…” Emily giggled, pulling the loose panties up over her diaper. Not even the slight bulk on her front or behind could make up the difference in the width of Joyce’s hips. Her body was too good, it simply wasn’t fair. Thankfully there was the compromise though of Emily tucking the underwear partially into her diaper, just to get it to stay. What came next? Oversized pantyhose, of course. She had to roll them up a little bit and continue using her diaper like a pocket, but it worked and that’s what mattered. Next she ditched her boring shirt and went for the bright and white work blouse that’d really make her look good! Though…while it did run well down over her diaper, she really did look great from the waist up! As…long as she slightly rolled up the sleeves and held the cuffs. Joyce was pretty by default, but obviously she put work into looking good on top of that? It only made sense that Emily had to put in the same effort, too. And the perfect concealer for her slight chaos hiding underneath her shirt now was a wonderful black business skirt Emily found. The delight when it didn’t have much trouble going over her diaper was immense, though all her clothes were starting to move around a bit with all this shifting… After tucking it all back into place, the last thing she needed came from a less professional end, but it certainly could work? A wide black leather belt with some minimalistic double metal circle on it came out, and Emily made full use of it, tying all her loose clothing together. And also, need it be mentioned how comfy all her clothes were? Joyce really did never disappoint when it came to buying the nice stuff! While it was all good and fun getting ready for work, she certainly wasn’t enough of a savage to walk around barefoot. After peeking inside a few different shoe boxes with brand names she’d never heard of, Emily pulled out a pair of tall black heels. Good enough. Black was black and that meant work appropriate. With her ensemble complete and perfected, Emily stumbled and nearly tripped multiple times with pride back into the hallway, taking carefully coordinated and noisy steps all the way. “Apologies, Mr. Bear,” Emily said as she fell forward since her feet were too small in her big heels to fall back, “I needed a change of clothes,” she enunciated in an exaggerated posh form of tone. Somehow though her charade had become inspiring, enough to convince herself to finally pull the trigger and make the call on her company issued phone. Holding it up to her ear, thankfully there was enough time to sneak a swig of juice before the other end picked up. “Hello?” Yep, sounded like Amy. “Amy?” Emily asked, putting on her best big girl voice (or just being herself, really). “Sorry, is this a bad time?” “No! Now’s perfect, actually! Joyce said you were gonna be calling today, actually.” “Yeah…” Imagining scheduling an appointment when it was Mr. Bear’s job to do that… Apparently no one had job security these days. “Sorry about the delay… It’s just been sort of…busy.” A fair excuse that could only work if she actually came off as such. Spending her days doing either a brief set of chores or wearing diapers didn’t really fit as busy. The regret for saying that was hitting as fast as the smell of a messy diaper. The back of her head sunk deeper into her stuffed secretary. “Trust me, I totally get it,” Amy assured, or at least pretended like she believed her. “Joyce didn’t pressure you or anything to call me, did she?” A slight laugh came from the other end of the line, “she did, didn’t she?” “Uhm…” and just for insurance’s sake, Emily dangling her girlfriend’s heel from her outstretched foot finally let it drop to the floor. “No?” Another laugh from Amy, but she said, “Okay, well good. I don’t want you to feel like you have to do any of this! So, it’s a couple things I could actually use a hand with. Oh, and there’s no need for experience with sewing or anything like that! I have a client that’s looking to get a few outfits done, but they’re mainly out of state, so all I have are her sizes on paper. Usually I don’t take on work like this if they aren’t available, but since she’s longstanding, I took her up on it. So here’s where you come in: having a model would help me a little bit? She’s a little bit bigger than you, but you’d make a great stand-in reference and all I’d need to do is upscale from there.” “So you want me to be like your mannequin?” “When you put it like that you make it sound like I just want your body…” Amy groaned back playfully, “Well, guess I do, actually. It’s not a deal-breaker for whether I can get it done for her or not, but having a live reference could speed things up. And of course, I’ll pay you! I’m only asking because I had to check your numbers for a different project and happened to notice the sizes were sorta close.” “A different project?” A project for her? “A-anyway!” Amy rushed her voice and implied a certain matter wasn’t to be explored, “I can keep you busy with helping organize some fabrics, too. Buttons, zippers, and stuff, but to be honest I don’t think I can fit out a whole work week for you… I’m balancing a couple different commissions right now, so it’d be a sort of on and off thing. When I’m ready and you’re ready, you know?” Far from fully employed and official work. It sounded like she would be paid under the table, too. It wasn’t an actual job, but it was gonna give her something… “That works…but, I guess I don’t really have any experience with that sort of stuff…” “That’s fine, don’t worry about it! It’s just standing in front of the mirror, really. It’s super relaxed, promise. We can chat, have lunch, all that fun stuff. You can play with Ashes too, if you want?” Bribing her with a pet? This was sounding more like a favor than a regular job… “I mean…yeah, I guess I can do that then,” Emily agreed, albeit meekly. “I guess we just need to coordinate when I come?” “And we’ll do that well in advance, promise. No day-of kinda stuff. Promise! Ugh, you’re a lifesaver! I don’t really doubt my skills, but if I don’t get an actual body to play with, it kinda throws me off a little, you know?” No, actually. Not at all. “Yeah…” “Awesome! Give me a couple days and we’ll set something up, okay? I’ll keep it at a reasonable time, and just let me know if we need to reschedule. Thanks so much, Em, and if ya have any questions, just shoot me a text or give me a call, okay?” “Mm. Okay, will do.” “Take care! Ciao!” And like that the bandage had been ripped and Emily was employed. Sort of. Not really. Not at all? Kind of employed. But she sighed nonetheless when she could drop the phone. Good thing she was wearing all that big girl armor. The baseless worry of making that call had been eating away at her for some stupid reason, but it was done now. Reality sunk far lower than her excited expectations, which in this case was a good thing. Could she count that as an “interview,” even? Was this going to be something that she could put on a resume? Seamstress Assistant - Stood in front of mirror and looked pretty Skills - Patience Something like that. But since the office was busy being used right now, Emily didn’t have to entertain the thought of doing any computer work. Instead she rolled onto her side against Mr. Bear, suckling down a stream of juice, watching the sky and city beyond the heavy wood and glass doors past the terrace. It was such a small thing to have done in retrospect, but now with her one big thing she’d been trying to avoid out of the way, all that was left was to enjoy the rest of her day. A weight was off her shoulders and she had nothing else to worry about. Everything was quiet again and her cheek rested against her giant stuffed bear, listening to the faint typing from down the hall in Joyce’s office. A calm, quiet lull filled the home and before Emily knew it her eyes were getting heavy. Naps were dumb, stupid and the worst thing ever imagined by anyone. The kinds that were enforced, at least. Emily was much more of a “natural” napper, which was something Joyce unfortunately could never seem to understand. She slept when she wanted to, not when she was told. Joyce was much more of a schedule-based sort of folk. If only Emily got to waddle to the beat of her own drum. Without an oppressive system to keep her down, or crib bars to keep her confined, it was much easier to follow the whims of her sleepy self as she laid there with half a sippy cup spout in her mouth. Constantly reminding herself to suck, her eyelids kept on drooping until they finally stopped rising, closing completely for a good stretch of uninterrupted time. Meanwhile, sometime later, Joyce was wandering out of her office. “Emily?” she called, “I wanna check your diaper?” The first place she went was their bedroom where the light was still on and she noticed her closet door half ajar… And her dresser drawers open…with undergarments, pants and such hanging out and askew. Going just a step further, Joyce stepped inside her closet, first making note of the small pile of hangers laying on the floor; a couple shirts and skirts included. Wait, were her shoe boxes moved too? Either they had been robbed or some form of mischief was afoot. Hardly believing in the former, Joyce sighed as she tried to figure out what the angle of the mess in their room was while she tidied it up. “What did that little munchkin do…?” she muttered, flicking off the last light as she came into the hall. “Emily? Did you–” she started to say, then she saw her sleeping. Sleeping in Joyce’s clothes, wearing them like oversized bags snuggled with her feet together with small dollops of pantyhose fabric hanging off her toes. She noticed the large stuffed bear that lived in the nursery had decided to move, and she then went on to recognize her four-figure belt imported from Italy with half its leather material hanging out and sitting so loosely on her little girl’s frame from riding up to her waist. The clasp didn’t even look to be sitting right…! Her poor heels from last year’s trip to France were lazily sitting on their sides on the floor, far from any feet, much less ones that could actually fit them. Joyce’s business skirt was half on Emily’s hips, half beneath the panties she recognized as her own, which also fell beneath the plastic siding of her diaper… And the cherry on top? Joyce quietly came closer, carefully removing the sippy cup that had fallen from the sleepy girl’s hand and onto her bear. Not that it mattered much, but she pinched the loose collar around Emily’s neck, fingering the wet apple juice stain now on one of her best shirts. And Joyce sighed, right before her phone buzzed in her pocket. Slipping it out she read a message to herself. AMY: Just heard from Emily! All set. I’ll b in touch with her! She put the phone away, giving her little girl a dumb smile. “So we’re playing dress-up now, are we?” she whispered with a grin. Apparently a toddler that went unchecked would become a tyrant. Clothes had been wrinkled, a shirt had been ruined, but as the saying went, t’was the cost of doing business. The cost of caring for someone you love. “Though…” Joyce kept to a whisper, so as not to awaken the tot she was playfully chewing out, “The nerve you’ve got to play with Mommy’s expensive clothes…” At least in her state of disarray, play and slumber, a cute bum showing itself made it easy to check a diaper. “Dry…” she muttered while she angled her phone, recording such a sweet memory. Standing back up, one quick trip to the nursery and back around the couch and she was holding two trinkets worth adding to the scene. With her mouth still partly open from enjoying her juice, Joyce swabbed a tiny bit of drool collecting on her bear and clogged the leaky pipe with a silicone bulb and plastic shield. Carefully lifting Emily’s arm, she slipped Pip underneath and set it back down. And lastly, Joyce draped a nearby blanket over her sleeping beauty, far more satisfied with a few more pictures to go with it. “I’ll be taking these back, though…” Joyce glared for just a second, trying not to laugh as she hooked her discarded heels by the fingers and walked them back to the bedroom. “One broken pair is enough, I’d say…” With her brief duties being finished, Joyce slipped back into her office, feeling awfully good now with finishing the final stretch of her day. After all, how could Joyce not be leading the pack if she’d just seen her littlest employee so hard at work…! “I don’t wanna wear this one…!” Emily moaned as the zipper traveled up her back. “But you were so excited trying on different clothes earlier?” Joyce teased from behind, snapping a flap of fabric over the zipper, hiding it completely. “Where did you even get an idea like that?” she laughed so pleasantly, “What made you wanna play dress-up?” “I was dressing for work,” Emily stressed for the umpteenth time. “You wouldn’t get it.” Really, she wouldn’t! Joyce didn’t have to keep swapping from panties to diapers! “No, I probably wouldn’t,” Joyce giggled. “Not that I need to. I like it when you do cute stuff like that.” Though it’s a little less cute when costly damages are incurred… No need to mention that part, though. “I was a little sad though when my busy little office girl was dry, though.” “Sorry,” Emily smugly shrugged, “it’s a skill I’m working on.” “Yeah? You and what references?” Joyce squeezed her waist, watching them both in the mirror. “Cuz if anyone calls me, they’re definitely gonna know that you can’t be trusted out of your diapers.” “Yes I can!” Emily shot her a rude look. “Sorry, sweetie, but I can only speak from experience? Though, I think Amy already knows, so you should be in the clear for that,” she couldn’t hide her teasing smile. “So I take it you called her?” “Yes… She wants me to be a model, sort of.” “A model?” Joyce raised her brows. “That could be kinda fun?” “Uh-huh,” she nodded, tugging a little at the collar on her sleeper. It was on there real good. Not uncomfortable, but it sure didn’t stretch. She couldn’t even find the zipper on her back… “She asked because her client is a little bit bigger than me, I guess, but she’s out of state. Amy sort of said it was gonna be an irregular thing, though.” “Well that’s okay; we’ll get you there when you need to be. Don’t worry about wondering if anyone’ll be available. I’ll make it work.” “Thanks…” with all the effort that went into getting Emily around, sometimes she wondered if anything that she did make was enough to offset the expenses Joyce dropped on her. At this point, was she dropping a profit in financials or just emotion and entertainment? “So work was good?” “Yes, it very much was,” Joyce concluded with a kiss. “You made my day getting to see you each time I stepped out of my office!” There were definitely going to be more work-from-home days in the future… “G-good…” Emily exhaled through her nose, feeling the warmth spread through her diaper. No comments were made, but she got another affectionate rub. “Yes, very good. But what isn’t so much is that I have to make a call too.” Joyce’s happy face started to droop. “Oh! Is it with that kinky person? I…Isabelle?” “Yes, Isabelle.” The one and only who had shell-shocked her so greatly. “Mm. Well, don’t have too much fun with her.” And just like that Emily won a light swat on her padded rump. “Hey!” “Silly comments get silly prizes,” Joyce spoke with finality. “Can we snuggle while you call her?” “We will do that very thing after I talk to her. Tell you this: how about I get you a nice bottle of milk,” no sippy cups, not after that little spill… “and you get comfy on the couch while I go make a grownup call in my office? Then we could watch a movie…?” Her eyes lit up like the sun. “A scary one?!” “No,” oh, buzz killed. Joyce gave her a helpless look, “Not a scary one.” “But I’m wearing one…!” “And what made you think that makes it a done deal?” Joyce’s eyes did circles on themselves. “Weekdays are definitely not scary movie nights.” What if Emily had a nightmare and she was already gone for work? “We will be watching something age appropriate, got it?” “Fine…” “No grumpy attitudes, either,” Joyce pinched her lips, making her cute girl look like a cute duckling. “Now can I get an ‘I love you?’” “I love you, Mommy,” Emily put on her best ‘totally not grumping’ voice. Joyce wow’ed with pride. “Ou, and I didn’t even need to ask for the last part!” Ignoring the tone, she kissed Emily again. “Go get cozy on the couch for me.” They made way for the living room and after dropping Emily off Joyce took a detour to the kitchen. “Don’t fall asleep on me~!” she warned as she left Emily with her bottle. “I won’t! I slept like twice already!” And since when did that stop you from doing it a third? Joyce held her breath just long enough to shut her door, too overjoyed to feel anything but. Only for a second though, as the dread ate away at all of it the moment she looked down at her phone. Now the not so fun part… First Sheila, and now this? Hell, her business with Sheila wasn’t even done yet. Why couldn’t she just get the easy call with Amy like Emily did? With one can of worms already open and spewing, with great reluctance she started to dial what was scribbled on a sticky note. And maybe in some form of retrospect that was too far in the future to consider, if only this second discussion was going to be just another can of worms. Much more aptly, it would be reminisced on as Pandora’s Box.

Gosh, you know me so well! In truth, I've been writing I think the most regularly I ever have been since I started posting stories in general, lol. Truthfully I've just been bogged down by a lot to have the time and post chapters here. But yes, going in bursts is regrettably my style... Mhm! The gap between what's public and behind a timed release is getting bigger and bigger, but stuff does eventually trickle down at a somewhat regular schedule (just not at the moment because I'm taking a break this December). Chapter updates publicly are meant to be about once a month.

James has indicated that he's aware at least a little of what goes on, but mostly how their own dimension compares to it. I'm sure that the DD has its own share of troubles and bad history (for instance, the given situation with how they treat Littles), but I think you're definitely right in guessing just how incomprehensible that'd be for Katherine. If I had to guess, Dawn could practically throw a history book in her face and she'd still spin it as some strange kind of inappropriate fiction. She is aware that where Portal Littles come from a place without Amazons, and that's likely the extent of her knowledge, and serves as a basis for the "dangers" that she assumes Dawn comes from. Another way I'd think about it is like culture shock times twenty. A world and place so different that it's one step even further beyond horrific and confusing fiction (in the eyes of Amazons). Thank you for reading and commenting! I can't quite imagine that fear is the best long-term motivator... Right, I don't think Dawn is quite so indifferent to James, anymore and he just helped her pick a side of the fence. Bookshelf! Girl's gotta read! In all seriousness, it's one of those weird moments that shows James and Katherine are listening to Dawn, but based on their values and beliefs they're only able to show that in so many ways. I'm sure that they hear her out when she pleads that she's an adult, capable of doing X-Y-Z and so on, but it's likely far from something that they take at face value. Kinda sorta. In fairness of her Amazonian guardians, I don't think that they want her having baby brain either! Dawn probably could use some chilling out, but I don't really know if she will. If nothing else, a spanking just forces a lid on her problems-- not really solve them. Play her cards wrong (as per usual) and round two of spanks is definitely possible! Thank you for reading! Dawn? Going down easy in a crib? This is an awful lot of wishful thinking! Haha, in all seriousness, I think Dawn really could use a good night's rest after everything she's been through, and likely will continue to go through. Maybe James is clued in on Dawn's unease, but at the same time he may not be fully aware of it yet? Either way, I don't think it'll be ignored forever. Thank you for commenting! Thanks for the reading! Hmm...we may be witnessing a clash of parental styles...! Katherine's definitely got the softer heart, given we know that she wanted this sort of thing the most. James at least so far definitely seems more in it for his wife's sake than his own or Dawn's, which can create a conflict of interest at points... Either way, I'm looking forward to letting this dynamic develop, and I hope you all continue to enjoy! Thank you for reading and commenting!

Thanks so much! No more secrets allowed! After all, they promised each other. (Unless Joyce decides otherwise, though...) Can't say specifics on what's to come, but I'm sure you'll find that the net is on the up and up! Thank you for reading and commenting! Hmm, good question! However, don't always expect it to be just two possibilities! Yes indeed toon in next time! Thank you very much! Sheila's sort of a wait and see, but no matter what people think of her, I still believe that she has very human and likable qualities! Thanks for commenting and reading!

42 - Bathtime Blues Hear the knob! Ready for the pounce! Plant your feet and–! “Welcome hom–!” Emily shouted with a cheer as she started to soar, yet the train barreling through the doorway had caught her completely and expectedly. She couldn’t finish her signature line because her face was currently being smothered into her girlfriend’s shoulder. “Awwwhhh! My sweet baby girl!” Joyce cooed and rocked, shaking her all over as her hips turned one way then the other. “I missed you so much! So-so-so much!” A refreshing gasp of air entered Emily’s lungs once her face was released. “Home!” she finished her line, “At least let me finish!” With Joyce’s burst of emotional Amazonian strength, she supported Emily in her arms long enough to knock the door shut with her backside before putting her back on her feet. Standing from the slate entrance she gave Emily another tight hug, propped up on the wooden floor. “Didja miss me?” Emily giggled. “Did I miss you?” Joyce scoffed with a gasp right before another smothering affection. With some distance between their lips she doubled down again. “Yes, I missed you!” And yet all her excitement and love was just a front. “I…I’m sorry I took so long to get back to you last night…” “And I said last night that it was fine…” Emily leaned out on her ledge to pat Joyce’s head with a grin. “But you didn’t tell me much…” She made a sly face. “So? What happened? Anything fun? Crazy?” Joyce pulled her suitcase up and into the home. “It was…interesting.” “Ouuuu~!” Emily ‘ahhed’ all the way to the bedroom, poking Joyce’s jacket all the way. “Crazy kind of interesting? What’d you see? Did Carol do anything? What was the place like?” “It was…normal. Carol was fine, though we sort of split up for most of it…” Normal? Something like that? The enthusiasm had been killed some. “Oh, was it? Uhm…so what was it like?” “Lots of people at a restaurant sort of place… Name tags. Conversations…boring stuff.” A sideways glance had been earned. Her sales pitch clearly wasn’t very dazzling. Emily hopped on the edge of the bed, swinging her legs by the unzipped luggage. “Y’know, when you weren’t telling me much last night, I figured you were saving it for once you got home...” “I would tell you if something meaningful happened,” Joyce chuckled, dismissively. “It was actually just like one of my normal business dinners…” So it’s a very good thing Emily didn’t go… “...Okay.” With a shirt hanging from her hands, Joyce looked at her expectantly, hiding her own guilt. “You don’t believe me?” “No…?” Emily tilted her head. “Just gotta feeling.” “A feeling?” “Uh-huh,” Emily nodded. Maybe she was starting to read minds like Joyce, too? “You can tell me, you know?” “Tell you about what?” Tell her about Isabelle… “Something happened,” Emily pointed her finger accusingly, “I know it.” “...Nothing happened. More importantly, what time did you get to bed last night? I called you pretty late, you know?” “No!” a whine escaped the excited girl, “You can’t do that! Answer my question first!” “And are you dodging mine?” Joyce flipped the script. “Times. I want them.” “A little before midnight– there! Now answer my–!” But Joyce’s eyebrows were already ascending at an incredible speed. As high as could be before Emily had a snowball’s chance in hell of finishing her pseudo-big girl defense. “A little before midnight? This is why I don’t leave you home alone…” Joyce sighed with a face held in her hand. “After how hard I’ve worked to get you on a sleep schedule…” “I was on one before and it was one time!” It wasn’t even a school night! “And one is enough to make you excited into trying for two,” Joyce tutted, putting away the last of her clothes. “Early bedtime tonight. Both of us.” “Then you do it by yourself!” Emily deflected, clearly not likened to the idea of going down with the ship. “What? It’s my first night back and you don’t want to snuggle together?” “Urgh!” Emily grit her teeth, doing her best to shoulder the blow to her heart. Damn! No cuddles without Joyce…? “I’ll…snuggle, but I’m staying up after.” And just for good measure, “but I’ll go to sleep at our normal time…” “Once I fall asleep you’ll be free to go,” Joyce smiled amicably. Sure. Go stay up late if you think you can wiggle out of my arms tonight…! With the crooked deal having been made, their walk and talk continued over to the closet. “Oh, that’s right; Sheila stopped by last night, didn’t she?” It was a very brief conversation last night over the phone. There was difficulty in trying to talk to Emily just to hear her voice without spilling her own situation over. And with a surge of vividly embarrassing and truthfully joyful memories, Emily nodded simply, “Yeah, she did.” Apparently Sheila must’ve contacted Joyce at some point. Good to know it was planned, at least the file part. Dinner though…? “Uh-huh,” Joyce wheeled the empty case back in its place, “I’m sorry I didn’t know any sooner to tell you. She’s usually in and out, but I should’ve told you to expect someone… I take it that she was quick, right?” “...Yeah.” Emily may have been lucky earlier having a ‘feeling,’ but Joyce with her feelings stacked on top of keen intuition struck much more confidently. “What happened?” “What?” Emily stammered, avoiding eye contact as she strolled back over to the bed. “Nothing happened…!” This was certainly weird. Emily was hiding something about Sheila visiting? That didn’t sit right with the mommy in charge at all. Not one bit. “No, spill it. I know something happened.” And don’t make me check the security cameras… “We just talked a little, is all…” “Talked?” Was talking about anything worth keeping a secret over? “Emily, what happened?” Sheila, of all people? What did she do? “It’s not even that big of a deal…” “Which is why you’re gonna tell me?” Ouch. Hands on the hips. It wasn’t looking good for Emily. “It was just about stuff…” “Stuff?” Stuff? “What kind of stuff?” “...Secret.” “No,” Joyce shook her head, “nuh-uh, no secrets.” No secrets from the two people either emotionally or contractually obligated to tell her nothing but the truth. Sheila told the truth if she wanted to keep her job. Emily told the truth if she wanted ice cream or a diaper change. But more importantly, why did anything happen with Sheila at all? Wasn’t she just a go and get it done type? Since when did that change? “Nope,” Emily shook her head right back, wrists and back on their bed, “not gonna tell.” After all, she swore to secrecy with Sheila… “Emily…” that expectant motherly tone was starting to flare. Then the smaller girl made a daring taunt. “What’re you gonna do, not cuddle with me?” Joyce’s muscles stiffened. Crud. It would appear that a deadlock had been reached. “...Why can’t you tell me what happened?” Joyce tried to negotiate; something she certainly did not like being made to do. “Because I promised not to…” Promised not to tell Joyce anything that Sheila said about her. Then some dots started to connect for Emily and the verbiage her girlfriend had been using was reviewed. “Oh, wait! I can tell you what happened, but not what we talked about?” A great sigh and roll of her eyes dropped Joyce right on the bed next to her. “Well start from there, silly.” Goodness, to think this was about to escalate to tickle torture all over just a simple misunderstanding! “She stayed for dinner,” Emily said quite simply and openly, despite how awkward it actually was at first. “Dinner?” Joyce cocked an eyebrow. “Sheila did?” “Yeah,” Emily nodded. “Though…she kinda invited herself to stay…” At one point it had crossed her mind that maybe it was all something that Joyce had put her secretary up to, but the look on her girlfriend’s face was telling a different story. “Was she not supposed to?” “No…not really. She sent me a message about having to get a file from my computer last night, but that was it. So, she stayed for dinner? Sheila did?” The same Sheila that wouldn’t even accept a drink from her boss? Now Emily was propping herself back up. “Wait, so her staying over wasn’t your idea?” Joyce shook her head pensively. “No, it wasn’t. That’s…really not like her. When did she leave?” “After she made us dinner…?” “Sheila made dinner? For you both?” Were they talking about the same person? Sheila had access to their home, yes, but that was strictly for work reasons. What reason was there in staying to have dinner? None of this was sitting well at all. Uh-oh. Sheila was maybe in trouble… Emily kept most of her thoughts to herself, although she did ask, “Should…should I have said no? I was trying to call you about her being there that whole time…” “It’s just a little weird is all, I guess. I’ll be talking to her about it tomorrow at work, though. Did…anything weird happen?” Anything weird other than being made dinner? Anything weird other than accidentally being caught wearing her footie pajamas from the nursery that she wasn’t supposed to? Lord, she hoped Joyce didn’t check those cameras… “No…we just talked, I guess. It was actually kinda fun…” Fun? With Sheila? Not that Sheila wasn’t fun or interesting, probably, but Joyce couldn’t speak to any of that. Sheila was a shadow that took notes and made the world bend to her boss’ whims. Not the sociable and friendly face that cooked dinner for people? “And what’d you two talk about?” Emily’s mouth clamped shut. Joyce rolled her eyes. “It was about me, wasn’t it?” “--No!” Emily blurted out, though she couldn’t have sounded less convincing if she tried. Baiting Emily was so easy that it almost made Joyce feel bad. “Uh-huh?” Joyce nodded with a grin, one that didn’t believe for a single second that it wasn’t about her. “Let me guess: bad stuff?” While there was the option to stay in denial, Emily hardly had the fortitude to commit to something like that, especially against Joyce. Maybe it was a mind over matter situation, but trying to beat Joyce in a battle of wits simply seemed impossible. The thought of triumph alone was too exhausting to imagine. “No, good stuff! Joyce stuff… The stuff you won’t tell me about work!” “The stuff I don’t talk about because I want to keep that stuff separate, Emily.” Gosh, did Sheila actually talk about her at work? What if she mentioned something about how she can blow up at others? Appear as scary or intimidate others? Emily had no business knowing that. She was supposed to see Joyce as a mother and a lover, not a tyrant! The thought of affecting that persona was legitimately vexing. Did her secretary really just go and ruin all of that? “Well I thought it was really cool stuff…” Emily put on an exaggerated sulk. “I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one you get upset with…” Joyce spun her head and Emily raised her giggling hands defensively. “Relax! If anything, it really just sounds like you’re the same way at work as you are here?” Joyce was reluctant to leave it at that, but hopeful that’s where Emily’s conclusions actually stuck. “...Maybe a little,” she sighed, “but I don’t tell you that stuff for a reason, Emily. I don’t want to be a businesswoman to you. I want to be your girlfriend…” When things had first started Joyce’s wealth alone was already a straining force on their relationship. Now that they were finally somewhere to get beyond that, the thought of trying to add any more turmoil to the mix just felt wrong. “And you still are, Joyce…” Emily draped her arms up and over Joyce’s shoulders. “I like hearing about your work? I guess I got excited because Sheila told me something that you wouldn’t… Don’t get angry at her.” Joyce was certainly feeling something for her trusted confidant. “Okay. We’ll leave it at that. Thank you for being honest with me,” even if it had taken a little tooth pulling. “So, more importantly, what did you two have for dinner?” “Oh…uhm, pasta and a salad?” “As good as my cooking, though?” And suddenly whether it was friend or foe, secretary or stranger, treatment for Emily was always an ongoing competition. “No, not as good,” Emily assured, though more so to stroke her partner’s ego. And come to think of it, Joyce definitely won by a landslide. After all, Sheila had made the rookie mistake of using beets of all things. Good thing Emily was skilled in making it look like she was eating them. A thought crossed the girl’s mind to request that the vegetable be blacklisted right then, but knowing Joyce… Well, as of late, telling Joyce the things that she did not like always seemed to somehow make them that much more common in her life. Yucky vegetables would not be discussed on this day. Redacted. And as great of a sight as Joyce was to look at, Emily happened to look back down at her suitcase and notice the shopping bag inside of it. Just as she started to move for it, Joyce smoothly pushed it away. “No, not yet,” Joyce teased, and Emily frowned. “What? Did you get me a souvenir or something?” “Sort of? Guess you’re gonna have to wait and find out, huh?” “Or…you could just let me see now?” Joyce rose from the bed, standing with Emily’s legs around her waist. She taunted ever so lovingly right back, “Or you can wait until it’s time to show you?” Then she made a loud sniff. “Hmm…Emily, did you take a shower while I was gone yesterday?” “Oh come on! Stop exaggerating! I was too busy!” “Too busy napping and having dinner made for you by my secretary?” “W-well…” Emily didn’t need much time to think as she was carried down the hall. “Yeah. You wouldn’t get it. It was a ‘had to be there’ sort of thing…” With the flick of a switch the spacious bathroom was on and the lights were living. “That so? Well, what do you say to a nice scrub-a-dub in the tub so I can get you nice and squeaky clean?” And Emily answered right back with her own obnoxious sniffing. “I’d say you need a bath too, missy.” “Oh,” Joyce scoffed with a laugh, “I know I smell fine! You’re just jealous I’m not on a bathtime schedule, is that it?” “Say whatever you want,” Emily with a nasally pitch shrugged as she pinched her nose. “I’d just hate for everyone to think how stinky you are tomorrow!” Joyce sat Emily on the step beside the rim of the tub before rolling up her sleeve to turn on the faucet. “No, I guess I probably do need a bath now that your stinky-ness is rubbing off on me, huh?” “Sorry Joyce, I think that’s just you~!” Emily called after her girlfriend who disappeared from the bathroom. Not a minute later and she was back with a familiar shopping bag from a suitcase that’d been punched out of Emily’s reach. “New fancy towels?” Emily mused. “Oh! Conditioner? I actually wanted to try some new stuff that I saw on TV the other day!” Joyce always did know just how to surprise her! “Close!” Joyce giggled excitedly with the bag in her lap. “I got a couple things, actually…!” “Well don’t make me wait!” Emily crawled over to peer inside, but Joyce already pulled out the first thing. A tall bottle of many words and a large logo of a shiny soap bubble. Not what she was quite expecting. “Ta-da!” Joyce cheered, and not a second later she was gingerly pouring the bottle into the filling bath. “Wait, bubble bath soap?” Emily asked as she watched the tiniest bubbles already starting to form. Maybe not what she was quite expecting, but fair enough… “I saw some at the airport! As soon as I saw it, I knew we had to get some!” Finally making good on a promise that’d been a long time coming, it felt good to realize just a couple more desires. It went without saying that Emily couldn’t remember the last time she’d mingled with bubbles in a bath since ever, nor if a memory even existed with them. So while she wasn’t quite excited to receive the gift, it was a souvenir nonetheless that clearly made Joyce happy. Wrapping her arms around Joyce, Emily smiled. “Thank you for the gift!” “You’re very welcome!” Joyce hugged her right back. “But…! There’s more!” More than that? Well, come to think of it, the bag did seem a bit bigger than what just a single bottle of soap would call for… Emily’s hands latched on to the plastic bag, stationary for long enough to let Joyce swipe them away, but she didn’t. Interpreting that as consent, Emily looked inside the bag. There were multiple plastic cubes inside. Plastic packaging, at least. Clear cubes of stuff that had bright colored packaging and labeling trims on all their edges. Bathtime Blast! They were certainly not the puzzles she wanted to take into the bath like last time. Emily pulled out one of the cubes and looked at it. It was a generously sized bath toy sitting in both her hands. A spherical puffer fish stared back at her with a cartoonish smile and flimsy fins attached to its ball-like body. Admittedly unsure of how to react, Emily grinned dumbly as she asked what was already obvious, “Bath toys?” “So no more asking about bringing anything else in the bath, alright?” Joyce said as she dumped the bag of toys on the floor. There were five other cubes just like the one Emily had pulled out. A shark, an octopus, a clown fish, a turtle, a crab, and a sea urchin? If nothing else, it was admittedly kind of cool that they were all part of a matching set… Joyce always was good at accessorizing. “You didn’t actually need to get me these, you know?” Emily laughed as she helped with opening the packaging. “And let your baths stay boring?” Joyce couldn’t have sounded like it was any worse of a turn off. “You don’t have to play with them, but from now on if you’re in the bath, so are they.” With one ceremonious plump after another, each rubber toy splashed with the water as every saltwater creature was made acquainted with its freshwater home. Emily was next pulling off her shirt while Joyce had her pants and underwear sliding off all in the same stroke. “You’re getting in too,” Emily reminded her by undoing the button on Joyce’s jeans. And without the strength or will to reverse the process, Joyce undid the zipper next. “Okay…fine. You win.” “What? Do you not wanna take a bath with me that badly?” “Obviously not,” off came her shirt, “but I figured maybe with one less thing to play with you might actually try out your new toys!” “I’ll play with them…!” Emily groaned with her hands slapping the surface of the soapy water. “Are you sure they’re souvenirs for me, by the way? Kinda just seems like something you want to see me with…” “And I almost might have agreed with you, had you not been squeezing one of them just now,” Joyce was smiling ear to ear, catching Emily red-handed, or crab-handed specifically, who didn’t even realize just how aimless and distracted her hands were. Suddenly some of the local aquatic life was soaring across the tub with another splash. “It’s still a fair question…” “A question that will remain a mystery,” Joyce sufficed with a pat on Emily’s bare bum. “Now hop in. If we’re quick we can still fit in lunch!” And while managing lunch into such a tight timeframe was a questionable squeeze, somehow two adults and an armful of bath toys into a massive tub was not. The realization alone was enough to make Emily laugh as she smacked the water again. “It’s kinda like an ocean if you think about it?” “An ocean that barely has any life in it…” Joyce looked at the spread glumly. The unfortunate drawback to having a big tub was the steep number of toys that was needed to fill it. “I should have bought you more…” While she was feeling awfully proud in the store with so many toys, her imagination had clearly sold her bathroom short. “It’s fine,” Emily said, swiping a toy as she scooched right up against Joyce in the water. “You really set the bar so high for yourself in the weirdest ways, ya know…” “It’s because I care,” Joyce kissed the top of her head, reaching outside the tub for an empty cup. “Besides, what I love about you so much is how you’re always fidgeting with something,” she chuckled, “so I really do think these are great for you.” Whether it was Pip, a puzzle, a pillow, or Joyce herself, Emily in her blankest of moments always was busying herself with something, whether she realized it or not. But most importantly, a justified reason for babying Emily? Quite simply that put Mommy over the moon, and for Emily it put her head in a weird, cushy space. Just as a soapy dribble was starting to trickle onto Emily’s head, she started to ask, “So when are you gonna–!” Yet the trickle had grown into something more than that; a full on waterfall over the girl, now with wet hair in her face. “Sorry? You were saying?” “When,” Emily draped back her hair like they were curtains, “are you gonna tell me what actually happened last night?” “I already did?” “No you didn’t. Joyce? We promised? No more lies?” “...Is it really a lie if I just don’t tell you anything at all…?” “Yes, it is.” All Joyce did was take a breath, scooping another soapy helping of water and splashing it all over Emily’s head again. Joyce was stalling again. Emily grouched, “Hey.” “We still have to get you clean?” Joyce smiled above her innocently. “Fine,” Emily huffed, picking herself up and spinning around. She took her time in tugging Joyce’s legs out and positioning them just right to make herself a nice comfy lap to sit in. And just so the pressure stayed strong, Emily sat herself squarely in front of Joyce. Face to face. “Let’s make a deal, Miss businesswoman.” That made the adult narrow her eyes. “Hey.” “You tell me what happened last night,” Emily started, then squeezed, suddenly surprising herself once a stream of water went flying. “Ah!” Joyce yelped the moment it just barely hit her eye. “Emily!” Surprised and amazed, Emily looked down at the toy. “I didn’t know they squirted…! Sorry…!” And as apologetic as she was on paper, her giggles made her remorse seem questionable. Joyce’s answer was another cupful of water over Emily’s head. “Well they do!” It was a fair rebuttal and Emily was giggling the entire time, all the way up until Joyce finished wiping her face with a towel. “Squirt those the other way, please?” “Sure, sure,” Emily nodded dismissively, sure to break such a fickle rule again shortly, “but back to brass tacks. Tell me what happened, and…” And…something along the lines of making a deal that she had yet to fully think through. A prime reason for why she wasn’t the one wearing the business pants. “And I’ll tell you his name,” Emily held up a face Joyce was already less than fond of. The octopus responsible for sending a stream of water in her face. “So if I tell you about last night, you’ll tell me about your bath toy?” “Fair, right?” Damn it. Yes, it somehow was. “...Fine.” Emily’s skin rubbed against Joyce’s as she got somehow comfier than she already was. And just as Joyce was about to start– “--Wait!” Emily cried, “Hold this first!” She shot first and asked questions later, shoving the octopus toy into Joyce’s hand. “Okay, okay. Ready for real!” And now with her hands free, her imagination was left unhindered to spin and weave many different threads into something purely magical. Grouping clumps of soap bubbles, Emily got to work while she listened. “--And she just said it. Right in the open. She accused me! She…she just asked if I was a mommy on the spot…!” “Wait, so like, she just figured it out?” Emily asked with a wide-eyed expression. “But she just met you?” “Yes!” Joyce flexed her shoulders with an exasperated sigh. A tickle reached her nose though and she was immediately blowing on it. “Oops, sorry,” Emily wiped her face for her, leaving even more soap behind than what she removed, “my brush isn’t so good…” she looked at her soapy fingers. “What are you doing up there, anyway?” “Find out later. So what was her name? Isabelle? I…I guess that’s really weird. She could actually just tell from looking at you?” “I don’t know…” Joyce sighed again, wanting to sink lower in the water, had she not been balancing a naked Mozart in her lap. “I just…it felt so…violating? Like, who was she to just ask me that? To keep asking?” “Did you ask her to stop?” As silly as it was, vocally revoking consent was important. “Yes! W-well…sort of… I told her to stop…I think…” Then came another embarrassing admission. “But I kept answering every time she tried to guess… But wait, why aren’t you upset? Doesn’t that freak you out? That somebody else knows?” “Aren’t they just a stranger?” Maybe she had gone insane or there were simply too many bubbles on her mind, but Emily was steadfast on the course of simply just listening. It wasn’t often when she got to be Joyce’s complete sounding board, so it was awfully important she make the most of it. So somehow, miraculously, despite an encounter with someone like Joyce’s mom, yes, this wasn’t affecting her. “They are…” Which in itself is an immense relief. It’s what probably allowed her to leave the anxiety back in the state she flew from and just needed to deal with whatever residual worries she had now. “Maybe she was like a kinky whisperer, or something,” Emily thought out loud, fussing with Joyce’s head some more. “Hey, do you want to be a unicorn or a wizard?” “Emily.” Now wasn’t the time for funny hat discussion. “Okay, I’ll choose,” Emily continued on. “But no, I guess I’m not really worried… She doesn’t know us, and we don’t know her? I mean, isn’t there some kind of risk involved in going to stuff like that?” “Sure, I mean yeah, but…” “I mean, I’ll be honest,” Emily paused to swipe away the toy shark starting to sneak its way in. Octopi obviously weren’t friends with sharks. “I think me not having gone makes it a lot easier to be calm, but I guess I sort of have a broader perspective because of it…?” “Fair,” Joyce nodded carefully, trying not to mess up whatever her little girl was working on up there. Whatever it was, the distinct clearing of bubble-less water around them said that she was using quite a bit of material. “Did you only go because Carol invited you?” Emily asked a bit more seriously. “The other day when we were in bed and we were talking before you left. You were sort of joking about that babysitter stuff, weren’t you?” Joyce didn’t answer readily, so Emily tacked on some more. “...Did…did you want to get found out?” A dribble from the faucet plopped into the water. “No. No. Definitely not. No! No, this stuff is a secret. It stays between us. I don’t want anyone to find out!” No one more than who needs to, at least! “It’s private, Emily, I promise. I wouldn’t do that. I went because of Carol. Sure, I was a little curious, but really, it was only for that. Just that. Seriously.” And it was one of those rare moments where not only did Emily get to look down on her partner, literally, but in that same circumstance it was another opportunity to see her rock look so flustered. Emily took the chance to swab some bubbles on the tip of her nose, to which Joyce partly sneezed. “Emily…!” “Sorry, I don’t get to do stuff like this often!” Emily was thinking something, and Joyce was too. Joyce was thinking what she thought Emily was, and all that remained was for the baby in charge to say it herself. “I don’t think you’re being honest with yourself,” Emily casually chatted as she moved on to the final detailing of her masterpiece. “No, I am being honest.” Joyce proclaimed. “This stuff is private, Emily.” “So why did you let her keep asking you?” Emily drilled, and Joyce winced, for once not from the soap. “--Because she wouldn’t stop pressuring me!” “But you could’ve walked away?” “She had us sitting!” Emily’s mouth tucked itself behind her cheek. A poor excuse for even Emily’s standards, and Joyce was avoiding eye contact. “Can I try guessing?” Now the one acting all demure and vulnerable, Joyce pouted, “You’re gonna even if I tell you not to…” “I think you did want someone to know. Since talking to me the night before, or maybe even earlier than that, since Carol told us about this whole thing. I think you wanted to meet somebody that knows this kind of stuff. Someone that gets what being a mommy is like.” “...You’re upset with me, aren’t you?” “...Kind of,” Emily admitted, “but I guess also not so much. Joyce, I don’t know how much you actually talk to other people about this kind of stuff.” After all, half the mystery and wonder of getting an entire tailored nursery was not knowing nearly anything about what went into getting it all put together. “But you know yourself best, and all I can do is guess, so… My guess is that you wanted something out of this. You wanted to find something close to what we do… What we have together?” Amazing what a different perspective on things could do for a person. A fearful voice spoke, “And…and if I said you were right…?” “Then I’d want ice cream,” Emily declared, “no exceptions. That, and I think you must’ve been scared because you actually got what you wanted? I think I’d probably stop breathing if I was there in that moment… But anyway, you got what you wanted and it scared you? I dunno why, but that’s my guess.” “It was scary…like– If she could just guess so easily, what’s stopping anyone else from figuring it out?” “Maybe she knew how to guess because of the kind of event it was,” Emily shrugged. “I guess I’m upset because you tried taking things to the next level without actually telling me, Joyce… But since it was with a stranger, it doesn’t bother me so much…” “I…I don’t know what I was thinking… I don’t even know what I wanted. Is it weird? Ever since Carol told us about it at their house…I’ve been thinking constantly…there has to be more to this, right?” They weren’t the only two in the world? Adult baby furniture existed online for a reason. Giant pacifiers, big baby bottles. Stylized diapers for adults. “I…I wanted to find something that maybe we didn’t have yet…” “Maybe you sorta did, but I think you kinda ran from it,” Emily finally dropped her hands. “Okay, I’m done, but no looking until we get out of the bath!” “I need to wash my hair, Emily…” “Then do it after you finish washing me!” “Fine, you win,” Joyce gave up easily with a smile, finding her cup again. “Thank you for picking at my brain…” “Thanks for not exposing us,” Emily giggled, then turned her head. “W-wait! I’m kidding! It’s a joke!” A douse of water was promptly dumped on her head. No more lip from Emily after that. Sensitive topics were strategically avoided for the remainder of bath time after that. A little bit later and Joyce’s upper half was leaning out of the tub as she tried to squint at the mirror. “Is…is it a unicorn horn?” A very thick and stubby one, it seemed. “Half-right!” Emily beamed with pride. “A horn and a hat! You didn’t choose so I gave you both!” “Well,” Joyce turned her head every which way like she was modeling a summer-season set of fashion, “very chique, but a bit out of style, I think… Can Mommy wash it off now?” “At least compliment it!” Emily groaned, “and yes, you can.” Right before giving herself a shower of water, Joyce kissed Emily on the lips. “Thank you for such a pretty hat…horn hat.” And while Joyce took some time to clean herself, Emily casually piddle-paddled around the tub. “Ah! Wait?” Joyce called from her spot. Emily looked over and Joyce was holding up the toy octopus. “We had a deal, didn’t we? What’s his name?” “Oh. Uhh…Inky.” Obviously. Then she gave Joyce a toothy grin. “Cuz he squirts?” After pursing her lips, suddenly a thin stream of assault was firing across the tub. “Ah! Joyce! Mercy! Mommy! Stop!” Bath time didn’t last much longer. And later as Joyce was drying them both off, a new and uncomfortable subject had arisen. “Oh, and speaking of all that misbehavior in the tub, that reminds me,” Joyce rubbed Emily’s head with a towel. “I think I may have made a slight mistake before leaving for the airport…” “Yeah?” “Mhm. I don’t think you noticed, surely, but I forgot to lock the nursery shut…” Uh-oh. Play dumb, Emily. “R-really? That’s unlike you…” “Yes, it really is. I know you didn’t unlock it because I kept the key with me. Unless you’ve been learning how to pick locks?” “Ha-ha, very funny,” Emily crudely joked, secretly glad for keeping her act so well together. “No, I didn’t even notice. Be glad Sheila didn’t either.” “Even if she did, I doubt she’d snoop,” Joyce continued casually, and froze her hands the moment she had them over Emily’s arms. “But…you wouldn’t believe the weirdest thing that I saw?” “What’s that?” “This cute little foot peeking from underneath our bed! In fact, I just saw it when I went to get your bath toys from my suitcase!” A cold sweat hit the girl. “Uh…huh?” “Uh-huh,” Joyce nodded, continuing to dry a frightened Emily. Now that her therapy was done she felt free and unchained to use and assert her dominance yet again, and how wonderfully sweet of Emily to give her the opportunity to boot. “It was a cute, fuzzy blue foot, actually! A furry one! Almost like…a pair of footie pajamas we keep in your nursery?” Shit! When Sheila had her undress, it was a mad dash back to the bedroom just to get it off. It was trying to reason with herself that she’d go stash it back in the nursery once Sheila left…! Then once she did, Joyce had called and…well, she forgot. The next morning? She still forgot! “...You left it unlocked, so I guessed–” “--So you guessed?” Joyce leaned in close and over just to show Emily her look of feigned disbelief. “You thought because Mommy left your nursery open, you were allowed in there by yourself?” “Y…yeah…?” Suddenly she wasn’t so good at keeping her act together anymore. “Hmm…” Joyce hummed thoughtfully, radiating on Emily’s skin like a lingering panic. “W-we both did some stuff we probably shouldn’t have?” “Sort of, but I think where we differ is you know you’re not supposed to do what you did.” Joyce tapped her shoulder thoughtfully, making the girl flinch. “I…I’m sorry?” “And I’m sorry for giving you the chance to misbehave,” Joyce said solemnly. “So because it’s partially my fault, I’ll let you off easy tonight.” Thank goodness. “Really?” “Uh-huh. So, you’ll be going to bed. Early. After you’re diapered and we have dinner tonight.” “That early?” Emily openly cried. “Joyce! Please!” “Don’t Joyce me! You made your choice, Emily, and now you have to live with the consequences. Would it make you feel any better if I still went and got that ice cream?” “Really?” And suddenly things were right as rain again, until at least the dairy treat ran out later that night. “Yes, but we’re diapering you first before we take the car ride.” That had her pouting. “No pouting, either. Be happy I’m letting you off with just that…” she warned. Ice cream secured, but at what cost? “Here are today’s notes for the next meeting, ma’am,” Sheila handed off a manila envelope, to which Joyce accepted. “Thank you,” Joyce took them, though promptly set them to the side. And just as Sheila was about to leave, “Oh, Sheila? Could you stay for just a second?” Joyce was always good at sounding how she wanted to, but herself like every other person had far less skill at hiding any sort of undertone or ulterior feelings. Needless to say, Sheila could tell something was up, and unfortunately she had a confident feeling for what it was. But she stayed calm anyway. “Yes?” “Have a seat, please,” Joyce smiled, waiting for her secretary to park herself, right in front of her boss. It was quiet for a moment, save for the stare Joyce was giving her employee. Innocent, somewhat, but the hidden messages were far too strong for Sheila not to recognize and bear some kind of pressure. Maybe it was facing her consequences in real time that was suddenly taking the woman off her high, or maybe it was the well-needed reality check that she was about to get. A further word had yet to be spoken, nor a direct reference to just a couple nights prior needed be said for Sheila to already feel a steady stream of oncoming regret. She crossed a line. Big time. A very dangerous line. A line that separated a very private life from what Sheila had been so carefully and selectively allowed to aid and assist in. For just a second, it was quiet enough to hear a pin hit the floor. “Were you able to get what you needed from my house?” And are you ready to tell me what else you did while you were there? “...Yes.” No. “It didn’t take you long, did it?” Which was longer: using my computer or using my stove? “No…” Putting together the salad probably took longer… Joyce rested her hands on her desk, nodding thoughtfully, though not quite hearing what she was expecting. This was an issue. A big issue. A lack of honesty. A lack of loyalty? As far as Joyce knew, it wasn’t even a red flag, necessarily. Sure, she was treating this like an interrogation, but it’s not like her secretary had committed a crime. But it was certainly weird. Was there some kind of misunderstanding? Meanwhile, in Sheila’s mind: She knows. Ms. Summers knows. Did Emily tell her? Tell her everything? Did she see me snooping in her nursery? Did she say all the things I said about her? Crap…crud…shit. While Joyce was devising the best way to tease her employee, Sheila was already formulating a new resume. It wouldn’t be the first time Sheila had cared for Emily, given that Joyce was coerced into letting her take Emily off to bed during that business dinner. For Sheila to do anything like that of her own accord though was…interesting. Harmless? But weird. So with those thoughts in mind, Joyce cracked a grin as she said, “Sheila, I know that–” “--I’m sorry!” It was an immediate, knee-jerk response from the secretary. Her head drooped in just the slightest like her bowing posture could signal any more remorse than just her words could alone. Joyce rested her hand on the desk, looking a bit awkward. “...You’re sorry?” “I’m sorry.” Sheila repeated with much heavier resolve. “I crossed a line that I shouldn’t have. It was wrong, disrespectful and a gross misuse of my privileges…!” Was there actual recourse from this? In what way did it end in just this career burning down? How in the hell could she secure a living wage if she’d be effectively labeled as a snooper and a sneak? Her boss had to have known, otherwise they wouldn’t be having this conversation! “Sh-Sheila…?” Joyce raised her brow, taken aback by the profuse and sudden apology. Sheila was as humble as a person got, but this was Joyce’s first time seeing her apologize like this. Take off Emily’s diaper and put a big girl suit on her, and just maybe the feeling right now would be similar. “I’m not mad… I was just–” “--I have no excuse…! I…I did something I shouldn’t have, but I promise I won’t tell anyone! I’ll honor my NDA, I promise!” Christ, how was she going to explain this to Greg without being able to explain anything at all? Fired for snooping in her boss’ apartment and finding out that all the [REDACTED] she had made was actually for her boss’ girlfriend for her very own [REDACTED]? And because Sheila was so devoted, and Joyce knew that far too well, now the boss was starting to second guess herself. Was there more to this? More than Emily had let on to? More that Sheila had kept from Emily? And with a final hope, Joyce tested the waters. “Sheila…it’s okay if you stayed to have dinner with Emily…” She let the words sit. Permeate. Cure or dispel whatever worries her secretary may have been having. Bring back the calm and collected person that she knew and expected her to be. But a sinking feeling simply kept on plummeting as the look on Sheila’s face did not change. The remorse didn’t fade, not because Joyce couldn’t dispel her worries, but because she had yet to hit the nail on the head, and that was slowly becoming apparent. “Sheila?” “I’m sorry…!” she apologized unyieldingly once again. “I promise, I have not nor will I ever tell anyone!” It was suddenly worrying beyond a scope for what Joyce could perceive or imagine. Now her emotions were getting the better of her. Never once had she ever seen her strongest link so easily frazzled. If it was enough to make Sheila panic then there wasn’t a single object in the world that could withstand what she could not. Yet with quiet hesitation, Joyce pulled out her phone, taking herself to a program and a place she thought she’d been given enough honesty and clarity to stay away from. But apparently not. Strolling down memory lane, she opened up the archived footage from just 48 hours prior and started skimming. Skimming through seeing herself leave for the airport. Skimming through dead silence in the apartment, finding Emily in her footie pajamas that she wasn’t supposed to be in, napping on the couch… Sheila arriving… Sheila heading to the office… Sheila…not heading to the office…. Sheila entering the…the unlocked… Like her eyes had deceived her, Joyce blinked, re-watching the short snippet one last time, like it was some bizarre crossover she could never in a thousand years expect. This wasn’t real, right? Surely the footage had been Photoshopped? Was the lack of audio corrupted? Was that why the video was leading her astray? Quietly, shaken and unsure, Joyce set down her phone. Bewildered and beside herself, arriving at a complete and total blank. Sheila, her most trusted and closest employee of countless years, now before her, tail between her legs and with a look of guilt so heavy and so potent that Joyce wished the skyscraper’s windows so high up could actually open. So many questions. So many. So many problems. So very few solutions. Were there any solutions at all? Suspension? Termination? Terminate Sheila? Sheila? Fired? Joyce’s eyes couldn’t stop wandering, and Sheila’s wouldn’t leave the floor. As Joyce tried to compose herself, Sheila tried to remain as still as possible. She wasn’t curious anymore. She got what she had wanted. Realization. Satisfaction. Discovery and pleasure. All at the cost of flying far too close to the sun. She’d stepped beyond what she was allowed and now it was time to face the immediate consequences. The end of her cushy wage and well-lived career. “I…” The words were hardly coming to the boss, but her thoughts more or less seemed to stay in tact. This needed to be resolved. Now. Immediately. Get their bearings and figure out just what exactly was going to happen from here. Whether this really constituted a wide-scale issue or could somehow be mitigated into something else. She knew about the diapers, but now the nursery, too? She had to know now. What it was all for; what it all meant. But she couldn’t go unpunished, right? She couldn’t just be let off the hook for something so inappropriate…! Joyce closed her mouth for a moment, then opened it once again. “C…Cancel my next meeting.” And possibly cancel the entire day. By the end of her sentence Sheila couldn’t have been moving any faster than her heels would let her. “Bring your laptop back in here,” Joyce added before she could leave. For the first time in Sheila’s working career and personal tenure with Joyce, she was about to receive a disciplinary discussion. A very strange one at that. It would be a very awkward discussion.

What?! You doubted Sheila?! She's the one-stop shop for all and everything Joyce-related! Frankly, one could argue she's a bit tardy to the party with buckling down on her Emily-wrangling skills. Lol, but with less joking, I think she'd be a great addition! And yeah, while Emily has Joyce to force her into uncomfortable situations, Joyce doesn't have that same kind of "motivator," so this is just one of those times we get to see her thrown off her game! Thank you so much! I'm always so happy to get comments like these!

15 - Simmering Emotions Dawn was forced to quietly stew elsewhere in the house, resigning herself to Waver’s dog bed where he lay. The one place of refuge she had in the house was being transformed into something else entirely. She had no words for opposition, because she knew they wouldn’t take her anywhere. Whatever influence she had on the situation, it was well-gone by now. She had the chance to at least pick her poison at the store, but she waived that right entirely. Now, annoyingly so, her mind was too busy not thinking about the things she didn’t do, but the way Katherine must have felt every time she was put in one of Dawn’s most compromising positions. It was probably a shitty feeling, maybe just as shitty as how sore Dawn’s butt was feeling right then. She made sure to lay on her hip rather than her bottom, lest she agitate the feeling any more. But truly, an annoying point she couldn’t ignore was what that spanking did to her. Quite truly, it made her reflect. She was still angry. She still didn’t think of either Amazon as pure of heart, but...her animosity to them was less, and in James’ case her fear towards him had only gone up. “Dawn? Honey, you doing alright?” Katherine was peering over the couch with a toolbox in hand. Not as the user, but the gofer. She’d gone back to using pet names at some point, but Dawn was hesitant to ask for any of that to stop right now. Truly, she was afraid of James somehow escalating what she believed was a fair request… “I’m fine...” she quietly commented. She wasn’t fine, but fine was enough to get herself some space. “How about some tv? I can turn it on for you?” She gestured to the large black screen. “I’m fine.” Dawn could feel Katherine’s quiet look wait a little longer before asking, “Did you want some juice? I had James pick some up on his way from work?” The juice that she never asked for. “No thank you...” Even manners were something she was scared into being wise to. To think physical force could make her so compliant… “Okay...well, think about what you might like for dinner, okay? We’re gonna order out tonight.” Dawn didn’t answer, but eventually she heard Katherine moving around again by the metal clanks of the box in her hand. By a wide margin she was currently bonding with her most favorite person in the house. Waver, Amazon dimension or not, at least seemed the same kind of dog one would expect to find back in the other dimension. Just a normal, goofy and friendly four-legged friend. One who was busy sleeping, which made for the perfect pillow for Dawn. She never did get her pants back, but she also never asked. She didn’t want to interact. She just wanted to lay low and stay quiet, which was everything that the diaper around her hips wasn’t. Though she did hear the noise of a drill upstairs, albeit mild, the whirring noise still traveled all the way down here. Waver would occasionally look over Dawn in the same direction at the stairs, but would go right back to laying there. Maybe out of courtesy for Dawn. At least someone finally understood her, even if it was on such a depressingly simple level. The sun had just about set as the warm glow through the living room window was fading away like a closing door. Her window of escape had probably closed long ago. That was it.This was it. At some point during the day, some time, the tour group went back home. And here she was, stuck. Stranded with two Amazons who say that they are going to try and find a way to get her back home. But with talks of what they were having for dinner, buying her clothes, furniture for a bedroom, it felt like nothing but cheap lip service. They said one thing while their actions said another. All they could give her were words, and they’d proven themselves once already that they couldn’t be trusted, so what was left? Finally getting on her feet, Dawn walked over to the stairs with eventually a curious Waver in tow, finally freed of his obligations as a pillow to investigate as well. Climbing to the top of the stairs the drilling noise was louder than whatever kind of conversation James and Katherine were having. By chance, Katherine yet again poked her head out into the hallway. “Oh! Did you want some juice?” Katherine smiled, as if she was anew again and reborn. All the mental and emotional damage Dawn had done seemed to be gone completely, but her sense of pessimism argued that the deepest cuts never show on the surface. “No...” though her throat was dry, “I...I was wondering where the bathroom was.” “Well...” Katherine turned her head, “upstairs it’s right over there...” back to Dawn, “but what do you need in there, honey?” It couldn’t have felt any more obvious, to the point Dawn already felt the inklings of annoyance. But then she remembered James, quickly smothering the flame. “I need to use the bathroom...” she calmly answered. Katherine didn’t miss a beat, like a knee-jerk reaction was triggered, saying, “That’s okay, I’ll just change you when you need it?” She gave the curious head tilt, magically ignorant to Dawn’s continence. Deep breaths. Stay calm. “N-no, Katherine...I...I know how to use the bathroom. I don’t actually need diapers.” “But today at the store...” “--Yes!” Dawn interrupted, already feeling herself blush from the memory. “Yes...that happened, but it wasn’t me. It was that chocolate, I’m telling you! Please, just let me go...” She hesitated, stooping to a new personal low, but if the ends justify the means… “I can even show you that I know how. Please? Just humor me?” Isn’t this what they wanted? Dialogue? She was giving it, so it should beget her something, right? “The toilet’s very big, Dawn…” The uncertainty in her voice was thick and potent. “I don’t think that it’s safe for you to sit on it...” And then Dawn’s heart sank. An odd little trinket she’d taken for granted at her retrofitted hotel room. As low effort as the accommodations were for a Little, the one thing that was done right was an assisted seat for the Amazon sized toilet… A set of steps combined with a raised and smaller seat closer sized to back home that was fit for someone Dawn’s size. Of course an Amazon house in the suburbs wouldn’t have one. “Th...the hotel I was staying in...” God, of all things she could finally ask for. But she was asking for once, so that had to count for something too! “Mhm?” Katherine crouched down with her hands on her knees, listening patiently like a preschool teacher. “The toilet was Amazon sized, but it had a seat for Littles...so I was able to sit on it.” “Really?” Katherine bounced off the statement with curiosity to the point that Dawn almost thought of it as artificial, but it probably wasn’t. Fate was too cruel to make it as simple as that. “I’ve never heard of those before!” “Hey hon?” James called from the room. “Do you know where the screwdriver is?” Katherine looked over and called, “Yep! Let me grab it for you.” As she stood back up and walked to the door, Dawn followed as well. The Amazon casually looked down then hurriedly stopped her. “Ah-ah! Wait out here, okay? It’s gonna be a surprise, and I don’t want you accidentally getting hurt, okay?” “I wouldn’t get hurt...” Dawn tried to make her argument without sounding agitated. “There’s just screws all over the place, and actually, you’ve been doing such a great job at keeping Waver busy!” Another deflection. Did Dawn have any pride left to care about? Katherine was careful in opening the door by just a crack and then closing it on the way in. A minute later she was back out in the hall again. “First, thank you very much for talking to me about that,” she smiled with a soft chuckle, then looked ready to break the bad news. “I’m sorry though, but James and I don’t really have anything like that; it’s the first we’ve heard of it… We can take a look into it later, but for now, while we’re dealing with LPS, we’re going to stick to diapers for now, okay?” “B-but...” How could she say it so easily? Just “deciding” that diapers were the better fit for her? Pretending that she was incontinent for the sake of appearances? “--Tell you what, let’s go get you a drink, okay? You sound thirsty.” Without asking, Katherine pulled her up into the air and started to descend the stairs after patting her thigh for Waver to follow. And on the way down, Dawn’s discomfort was more evident than anything. “Dawn, please? Please don’t be upset with me?” She tried to rub her back on the walk down, but it didn’t make the thought of being in diapers any easier and it certainly didn’t make her any less upset. “I’m not upset with you...” She one-hundred percent was. “I’m just annoyed with the situation… I’m an adult, Katherine! I don’t use diapers!” Katherine nodded placatingly, hearing her words, but failing to truly process any of them as she opened up the fridge. “Uh-huh… You know, James and I don’t think of you any differently for it, you know? It’s okay if you need to wear diapers?” “But I don’t need to! It was just one accident in the store! It was the chocolate, but you don’t believe me!” And in the pursuit of making her argument, she raised her voice which apparently invalidated it the moment she was gently being shushed. “Indoor voices...” Katherine gently reminded. God...it was like James’ punishment gave her a whole new level of backbone. She really was able to walk all over her this morning... “Okay, maybe that chocolate really did give you an upset tummy.” That was the problem. The way she phrased it, she voiced it like a matter of chance and not a certainty, like there wasn’t something malicious in it. A small spat of indigestion rather than a laced candy designed to make someone shit themselves. “Don’t you think it’s a lot safer then to be wearing some protection for if something like that happens again?” Dawn wasn’t watching her reach up into the cabinet for a glass, busy with her own thoughts. She wasn’t convincing Katherine one bit. Instead, all her words were getting tangled and used against herself like some kind of reversal. “...Okay, there. That should do it. Both hands?” Katherine raised the cup up to her and Dawn instinctively accepted. What only hit her a second later though was that it wasn’t a glass. Not an open top kind of one. Looking down she didn’t see any actual juice. Instead, a turquoise plastic top with a small stout protruding from the side. Tilting the cup forward didn’t spill any of the contents as she looked at the googly-eye frogs and smiling dragonflies all around the translucent plastic sides. The cherry on top were the two plastic handles sprouting from either end like solid holds for the ones who might still be learning to control their hands. “This is a sippy cup.” Dawn said in a voice meant to imply that something was very wrong. “It’s so you can have your drinks anywhere in the house?” Katherine thoughtfully included. “It was one of the things we got today. Do you not like it? I wish we could have picked out a design you liked...” “No, but...I...” She tried not to sigh. The broken record was already on its umpteenth loop. “I don’t use sippy cups. I use normal glasses like you do.” “You can’t bring big cups all over the house, though?” “That’s fine,” Dawn tiredly stressed, “I can just drink it here.” “This one’s a better fit for you?” There was always a point to argue why she shouldn’t have adult privileges… “Fine. Then I’ll just take the top off.” And so she did. Or so she tried. Trying to turn as best as she could, she grunted uselessly as her strength gave out before the top so much as turned a millimeter. “Please...” She held out the sippy cup. “Please just take the top off for me?” A war was being waged inside Katherine’s head, but there was apparently a ceasefire long enough for Katherine to give in. “...Okay, but, you need to finish it all in the kitchen, and if you spill any of it, the top goes back on. Deal?” “Yes!” Dawn couldn’t sound any happier if she tried. A meaningful compromise! Finally! Katherine borrowed the cup and twisted it off with ease. “And both hands, please.” Katherine reminded right before Dawn did go for a one-hand swig. Unfortunately, the cup was unusually wide, which is why Dawn was quickly starting to prefer both hands, otherwise she could see herself dropping it. Was that intentional? Was it made this way to make specifically sure she couldn’t use a single hand? After all, what made a Little drinking from a cup any more endearing than needing to overcompensate by holding it with both appendages? Using both hands on the cup specifically and not the infantile handles, she sipped from the threaded edge of the cup like a coffee mug and drank the reddish juice. It was...sort of good, actually. Like a tropical fruit punch. It had a taste that sort of made her think of lemons, but without that clingy taste in her mouth intentionally meant to make her crave more. She did crave more of the juice, but at least it wasn’t caused by a film clinging to the inside of her mouth. “Is it good?” Katherine smiled, looking like she had her own treat to enjoy just from looking at her. “...Yeah...” She finished another long sip. The cup itself was actually fairly large. Maybe almost twice the size of a normal cup. But more importantly, the drink was refreshing after a long spat of not having anything to sip on. “All done for now?” “Mhm.” Dawn nodded. “I can come back for it later.” And in the kitchen it would remain until she needed it. Katherine opened back up the fridge and took more of the juice out, topping off whatever Dawn had managed to drink. Then she picked up the plastic top and screwed it back on. “But you said I could drink it without the top?” Dawn frowned as the cup was handed back to her. “I’m gonna drink it later.” “You can when you’re in the kitchen,” she enunciated the devil in the details, “but since you’re done, you can bring it with you in the house now. Isn’t that convenient?” “I...guess...” She looked down at the sippy cup, trying to think of it as more of a bottle than a children’s safety cup. “You know, I’m jealous you can have a drink whenever you want around the house!” “Yeah? I’m sure they make adult sippy cups that you could use.” Katherine laughed, but in the sort of way that dismissed Dawn’s point like a joke. “Maybe,” she said placatingly, “but are you all set until we talk about dinner? Have any ideas, yet?” “Uhm...I don’t really care...” She rathered that she wasn’t the one who decided. She didn’t even know what was considered good here. The food she had at the hotel seemed fine enough, but to be honest, she didn’t even know what most of it was. At least, she never got to order anything, it was instead decided for her. “Mm...” Katherine hummed with a sign that she wasn’t satisfied with the answer, “...Alright. See if you can think of something though, okay?” Back in the living room, without asking this time Katherine turned on the tv and lights over the living room, dimming them somewhat. The middle of a cartoon was already in full swing as colorful and overly animated characters scurried across the screen and simple backgrounds with chase music. Katherine watched for a few moments herself before deciding it was appropriate, more than likely, then set her down on the couch. Waver, the astute servant that he was, hopped up on the couch himself before Katherine could even set Dawn down. “Wow! I really think he likes you!” she laughed. “Waver’s friendly, but he’s really warmed up to you.” “Uh-huh...” Dawn said while she patted his large head. It was still crazy to think that there were dogs bigger than her just from standing on four legs. That truly scared her to think of encountering one that wasn’t friendly and just as big, if not bigger. “James and I shouldn’t be much longer upstairs, but I’ll be back downstairs often, okay?” “Mhm...thanks.” Sort of thanks. Still there were conclusions to this that she didn’t like, but apparently what was practical mattered more, even if she hated it… Then, a gesture Dawn didn’t expect was when Katherine left she dragged her fingers through the hair atop Dawn’s head. It was strange and sent a ticklish sort of feeling throughout her body. She squirmed a small bit much like her diaper crinkled; a “benefit” from being dry. With nothing left to do though, she begrudgingly tried to sip from the sippy cup. It was heavy too, now that she thought on it, and the plastic wasn’t textured for friction that made it easy to hold. It was like it was designed to… And so, with unfortunately much more ease, she held the sippy cup by both its handles which made the action a lot more doable. Lifting it up she put her mouth around the spout and sucked. Two small, yet constant streams shot from the inside and into her mouth, rewarding her efforts with an ample amount of juice. And when she pulled it away there wasn’t anything left residually other than her own small bits of saliva on the top. Fuck. It actually did work… Unfortunately, all she did have to do was watch the basic cartoon. The plot was simple and as telegraphed as one might expect from a generic children’s show. That in itself was weird, come to think of it. From all the propaganda and wild advertising for babying Littles, Dawn expected something along those lines from tv. Somehow had it become the one safe haven? Doubtful, but no less confusing. Her mind wandered elsewhere, onto more upsetting things. Home. She had essentially disappeared. A Little on an overstayed visa that was having her existence rewritten back on Earth. How long would it take for people to notice she was gone? Her boyfriend would definitely find out first...but her parents? Stacy alluded to the forces at work that made it so easy to lose her in the system. Extra steps taken just to create the illusion that she returned. Probably all the paperwork to prove it just to make sure the trail goes cold back there and not here. How long would it take to get back? She was a college student, she had classes she needed to take! If this took more than a week she’d definitely be panicking. A month? Two? By that point her graduation would be delayed by a semester… It sucked thinking about the time, and it sucked even more to hear James working away at what felt like a long term solution. She didn’t want long term, not even short. She wanted instantaneous and was still trying to get over the bitterness of feeling she was cheated from that. “I still can’t believe you set it all up so quickly…!” Katherine with the toolbox in hand followed James back downstairs. “Sort of quick. Looks like the sun came down?” “Thank you again!” Dawn had the pleasure of hearing a wet kiss on the cheek. “Dawn…? Did you want to see your new room?” Her excitement was clear and obvious. “Uhm...” She looked up at Katherine, then noticed James next to her, also smiling. It didn’t matter what face he made though; it all rubbed her the wrong way. “Sure...” Shortly she was whisked into the air and Waver hopped off as well to join the caravan. Dawn hardly wanted to see any of what she was about to, because she had a sickeningly strong indication of what it would be. Katherine couldn’t stop trying to gaslight the girl despite them being on totally different wavelengths. “Now this isn’t the final look, okay? It’s just what we need to get by for now. We can think about getting it painted, maybe a different carpet, a dresser and a toy chest...” She opened up the door for the big reveal. And in Dawn’s perspective, it wasn’t surprising at all, which is why her feelings of dread didn’t change. Gone was her bundle of blankets and pillow on the floor of the empty room, and in came the barebones of a budding nursery. A large, dark stained kind of walnut crib sat in the corner of the room with a mattress and bedding set already inside it. Against the adjacent wall was a high wooden counter space of matching material with a cushion kind of padding laid across the top, but she quickly deduced its function when she saw the wicker baskets of diapers underneath on the shelves. A tall white trash bin for a very specific kind of trash was next to it, and another trinket was a tall, empty bookshelf, probably for babyish knick knacks that would come to be. By and far the room still felt very empty, lacking a lot of accents, details and other small things to really make the space feel lived in, but it was livable, and it was where Dawn would be living. “Ta-dah!” Katherine sounded far too giddy for it to be a gift for someone else. “Do you like it? It’s okay if you don’t yet! This is just the start, but I think we can really make this into your own space!” The moment the bed was decided to be a crib and for there to be a changing table, it quite frankly stopped being her room. But, recent events were making her mind her vocal opinions a bit better, so… “Thanks...Thank you both for doing this for me...” “James used the drill, so he’s the one who put it all together! I helped put your mattress and bedding in, though!” Katherine couldn’t have sounded prouder to contribute. “Thanks James...” “You’re welcome,” he said from the back. “Like Kath said, it’s not a whole lot right now, but we can take our time filling it out now that we have what you’ll need.” Changes. She’d need changes. Constantly, apparently. “Oh! And look!” Katherine hurried them both over to the bookshelf. “Do you know what this is?” “Sh...shelves?” “Well, they can be if you’d like, but I meant it to be your own library! We can keep all your books here!” It was a suggestion and reveal that truly caught Dawn by surprise. She...remembered? Yesterday there was some talk between them in the car about education and reading… So, so long ago. Before the horrid shopping trip, before the LPS and timeouts, before the mental breakdowns in and before the hotel, before all of it. All of the trauma and madness, they had talked. Dawn was strangely taken aback. Of all the things they shared with each other and been through, it constantly felt like her cries and concerns went through one ear and out the other, cherry picking the words and actions that suited an Amazon’s diapered bias. But this was different. She actually remembered something about Dawn. This wasn’t some twist or uncanny mimic of Dawn’s wants and needs. Books. She knew she liked books. “You remembered?” “Hm? Of course I did. You told me, after all?” Katherine smiled so sweetly, so lovingly. And then it hit Dawn. It hit her like a ton of bricks. More than the residual guilt from when she kicked and screamed Katherine away from the car. More than the indirect apology she relayed through James at the hotel. More than the hesitation she felt each time she bitterly or coldly walked all over Katherine. More than the spanking she just had a few hours ago. More than… “Dawn, what’s wrong?” “It’s...it’s nothing...” she sniffled as she wiped her eyes. It was a small gesture and a basic gift. It didn’t excuse the crib or the changing table. It didn’t excuse the diapers, the sippy cup, the scolding or the childish punishments. It didn’t get her home any faster or counted for any progress or discovery to resolving this entire conflict. But in spite of all the mistreatment they’d done unto her and she unto them, it rocked her core in such a raw way that made her bleary-eyed. “Why…?” She wiped her eyes. “Why are you still so nice to me? I...I was so mean to you. Why don’t you hate me?” It was truly something that made her feel like absolute garbage. After everything, Katherine could still be so unconditional and loving. It made no sense. It wasn’t right. It couldn’t be natural, could it? “I’d never hate you!” Katherine shifted her for a hug. “It’s been hard for you, Dawn, I know that. It’s not fair that you’re stuck here, and James and I are going to do our best to make sure you’re as comfy and cared for as possible. Are you listening? I want this to be your home too, Dawn. If we can do anything to make you more comfortable here, please, tell us, okay? It makes me so happy to know how much you like it! But I want you to keep sharing your feelings with us, okay? Tell us when you're upset, angry, or confused. We’re not perfect...I know that, but I think we’re still better than average?” It was a vulnerable moment as everything hit her at once. Katherine’s words implied what Dawn feared, that it wouldn’t be a fast way out, but they were still going to tolerate her no matter what. She had her grievances, they were still far from perfect people, and she was certain she would find more ways to be angry with them. But a small laugh left her mouth anyway. It was enough to make Katherine’s eyes widen with glee as she laughed too, hugging her even tighter. Dawn hated it here, but at least there was a bookshelf… “What’s wrong with pepperoni?” Dawn asked, never seeming not perplexed by the way an Amazon could question her answers. “It may be a little too spicy for you, Dawn...” Katherine warned. “How about sweet tomatoes, instead?” Sweet tomato, never a topping she’d heard of, but she didn’t like the idea of sweet things paired with a cheesy, sharp and salted taste of pizza. “Pepperoni is fine, though...” Dawn insisted, simply because Katherine and James insisted that she insisted. And yet, here Katherine was, insisting that she insist on something else. “How about we get one slice with sweet tomatoes?” James said to Katherine. “If she doesn’t like the taste she’ll still have something.” “That’s true...” “Why only one slice?” Dawn asked. She wasn’t a glutton, but one of eight slices for three going to her sounded a bit unfair. “Because we’re getting a large, so one or two pieces should be more than enough for you,” Katherine explained, which...sounded fair when she thought about it. Need she forget her size difference compared to Amazons, their idea of a large was probably double the pizza she was used to… But she needn’t cap herself at just one. She wasn’t interested in a pizza with more tomatoes than just the ones in the sauce. They were underestimating her, as usual, hence the diaper… But even she knew it was enough arguing for one night. The pit in her stomach was still sore from what she missed today, so all she wanted was to take her mind off of it. “Oh, all done with your juice?” Katherine took the mostly empty sippy cup from Dawn. She did finish it, because it was good juice… But aside from that, her stomach felt full with liquid and it wasn’t doing her bladder any favors. She was feeling the need to go, but obviously was still holding out hope for an actual toilet. “You can have some more with dinner,” Katherine told her, phrasing it as if she already knew what Dawn wanted. “Now let’s order some dinner...” she muttered with a phone to her ear. And added to the witty banter was a sudden startling bark from Waver. “Oopsies, forgot! James?” Katherine called over her shoulder, “Could you please feed Waver?” “On it!” he called back from the living room couch. Dawn made herself scarce or at least distant by the time he came in. Waver could either understand human tongue or was used to the routine, because an overactive tail and following James straight to the pantry said a lot about his expectations. “Sorry, bud, guess we can be a little neglectful...” And as James carried the bag of dog food like it was practically a pillow, Waver once again had to be impatient with his bark. “Shh!” In unison, both husband and wife made the gesture to the dog both with fingers on their lips. At first it seemed like a funny way to engage with their pet, but almost immediately Waver slumped his head down and forward with his butt raised in the air, paws on his snout. It was a...trick? Sort of. Dawn couldn’t help but smirk at the intricate act. How smart was this dog? “We taught Waver how to use his indoor voice,” Katherine cheekily whispered to Dawn. “Before that he would always-- Oh, hi! Yes, delivery?” With a change in audience, so did her tone. After a few more seconds Waver ceased his submissive pose and padded over to the bowl James was pouring into. “Water too, I know, I know,” James spoke to him preemptively, likely anticipating another complaint from the four-legged customer. What caught Dawn off guard was when he looked down at her. “Did you want anything to drink? Water? Juice?” “Uh...no, I’m fine...thanks.” She awkwardly declined. James seemed friendly enough, but she relied heavily on the seeming part after the thrashing to her throbbing backside she was given by him. He couldn’t expect her to just get over something like that, could he? And frankly, it both upset her and made her angry to think he’d do such a thing to her. She wasn’t going to push it tonight, but it did irk her to talk like nothing had changed between them… “She’ll be fine until dinner,” Katherine added between moments on the phone, bolstering Dawn’s words, while also overriding her agency. “No snacks,” she suddenly added, “either of you!” Dawn turned her head back over to James, who’d been caught red-handed with a bag of something in his hand. With a frown, he put the chip bag back from where he got it. “Sorry about that!” Katherine had the phone over her ear again. “Yes, yes… Okay, so one large...” “Dawn? Did you want to watch some cartoons?” James asked her. “What? No...I’m fine.” She looked up at him, but not all the way. “Oh, alright then. Kath said you were watching some earlier; I figured we could find something you might like.” And somehow the rumors and misunderstandings could spread like wildfire. “No, I wasn’t really watching them...” Ah, yes, very convincing. “Katherine just put them on and I didn’t have the remote.” Just background noise, really, and background visuals… The point was, even if half the plot from one of those episodes was sitting in her brain like a benign tumor taking up space, it didn’t mean she was watching it. “Why don’t we pick something out that seems good then?” James offered her. “No thanks,” Dawn stayed reserved, “I’m fine. Thanks though...” James didn’t say anything, but maybe he was making a face. Regardless, Dawn watched him turn away as he called, “Okay, suit yourself. I’ll be in the living room if hanging out with Kat gets boring though!” Nope. Nuh-uh. It didn’t matter how friendly he was now. Dawn could hardly connect with a person that just finished spanking her in the form of a punishment that wasn’t her actual parent. Now that James was gone, Dawn glanced up at Katherine who still seemed busy on the phone ordering dinner. Waver was still going through his own meal, and that meant all eyes were off of her. A tinge of pain ached her heart when she looked at the front door. Well-locked and definitely impossible to get around now. She was stuck for now, and there definitely would not be another escape like earlier… But as her full bladder liked to remind her, life unfortunately did not consist of just one problem. She wasn’t being watched. She could sneak away somewhere in the house, maybe the bathroom? But then she looked down at herself. What she was wearing. A puffy diaper specifically designed to prevent a Little from taking it off. It was essentially handcuffs. Even if she could outrun the police, it didn’t do anything for her restraints. She could sneak off to the bathroom, but how would that get the diaper off her? She was stuck and trapped in what would eventually be a sponge containing her own waste. What was even worse was her mind trying to rationalize it. She’d wet something like this once already out of pure fear, so it’s not like this’d be her first as an adult. The sooner she did it, the sooner she could forget the stress, swallow her pride and try to forget the shame of it rather than later. But she was at a loss. It was one thing being completely forced, but it still felt like she had a choice. A chance to finally change the course of things, even if it took pestering. “Katherine…?” Dawn was tugging on her pant leg from where she was sitting on the stool with her phone. With no vocal recognition, Katherine turned her head down at her, flashing a cheery smile like Dawn had just been looking for some attention. “Bathroom...” she whispered with a blush, dreadfully cupping the front of her diaper and pointing out of the room to hopefully communicate the message. Whether that translated or not, Dawn wasn’t sure, because all Katherine did was smile and pat her head before going back to the order. What was that? Was she ignored, or did Katherine fully get the message? That’s right. Even if she did understand, she had already decided. She wasn’t going to let Dawn use the toilet. She didn’t trust her and seemed to wave the magic “LPS is watching” wand like it really was an all-purpose excuse to get her to bend over backwards. Further denial only added stress to the mind, and that went straight to her bladder. She was trying not to fidget, at a loss for a solution, but knew she wouldn’t find it in the kitchen. Hurriedly pacing, she traveled down the hall, all the while trying to tug on the diaper tapes. The adhesives were no joke. For all she knew, the tape and diaper were chemically bonded by now and virtually the same substance it was so strong. There’s no way I’m peeing in a diaper. Not by choice! Dawn slipped into a dark room with two windows as points of reference. She felt her way around across the hardwood floor until she squatted, sitting on her feet and bottom. By now the urge was unbearable and her body cried for release. But unfortunately it wasn’t much longer until she finally gave up, or her body partly gave up for her. Seeing no change in sight, Dawn grimaced as she grunted and beared down on her bladder. It didn’t need much of a concentrated effort as it did one small push. She gasped with the first spurt of warmth into her underwear, then it was a full stream from then on. Hot, warm, and weird. As fast as she felt her own waste creep around her hips and between her legs, just as quickly it was wicked away, yet the warmth never completely left. Helplessly, she tugged at the diaper tapes, groaning over and over, “Gross...gross...gross…!” It wasn’t by a lot, yet when she stood, the added weight was unmistakable. It was one thing to be glad that she didn’t leak, although the prospect in itself was beyond disgusting, and frankly she didn’t mind the thought of getting their floors dirty if it meant to send a message. The scenario played out in her head. This is why I don’t need diapers! Well if you’re leaking, then it was a good decision to keep you in them? Not when you made me wear them to begin with! Because you shit yourself in the store… Articulated in a way to suit Dawn’s personal word palette more, but the gist still remained. Damned if she did, damned if she didn’t. She had tried to “do” already, and came to find she was physically incapable. But her sanctuary in silence and darkness could not last forever. She could hear the warden calling for headcount, “Dawn? Honey?” It was like she had a scent any apex Amazon predator could seem to sniff out. Maybe it was the abundance of baby powder coating her nether regions. A darkened face poked its head into the doorway, and with the flick of a switch the lights came on. “There you are! What are you doing here, little explorer?” Katherine chuckled while Dawn tried to rub away the sudden blindness. It turned out that she was in an office of sorts. The large swivel chair with a tall desk and computer. A few short shelves and a tiny filing cabinet. Printer, papers, scanner… “Nothing...just seeing the rest of the house,” Dawn sort of lied. She would have died where she stood if she openly came out just to say she was here to do her business. “Uh-huh?” Katherine nodded. “This is James’ office when he works from home.” Dawn turned her head all around, trying her best to feign interest. “...Oh… Okay, I just wanted to see...” “In the dark?” Katherine gave her a weird smirk. “Was there anything else, maybe?” Dawn could feel her cheeks getting warm, but remained resolute. “Nope. Did you order the food?” She tried for a quick change in subject. She made for a brisk walk to the exit where Katherine stood, suddenly intensely aware of the lessened crinkle to her step now. It unfortunately tracked now that her diaper was fuller… The diaper. Not her diaper. And with a single hooked finger, Dawn was grabbed. Not by the scruff of her neck, or the back of her shirt. Instead she could hear the paper crinkle as the diaper’s waistband stretched from her backside, inadvertently being the perfect aid to Katherine’s diaper check. Dawn stammered leaping forward, “S-Stop! What are you doing?!” She spun around now with both hands between her legs, feeling the warmth of the front of her infantile underwear. “I was checking your diaper,” Katherine said plainly. “You’re wet, but you don’t need changing just yet.” “I...you don’t just get to do that!” Dawn shouted. “I can tell you that I need to change. And I want to change. Now!” “I just asked if there was anything else you wanted to tell me though?” Katherine, as perceptive as she wanted to be when she felt like it. “Why didn’t you tell me a second ago?” “B-...because it’s my business and not yours!” Dawn frustratingly quipped. “Dawn… If you’re not going to tell me when you use your diapers, I need to check myself so I know when you need a change. It’s okay if you didn’t notice that you--” “I KNOW that I pissed myself!” Dawn cried with balled up hands. “YOU made me do it because you’re making me wear these stupid diapers!” “Indoor voices,” Katherine calmly reminded her, with a face that seemed to be hardly pulled the same kind of way as it could’ve been this morning. “And yes, I made you wear diapers,” Katherine nodded, but it couldn’t have felt any farther from an actual admission if she tried. It was hollow, a meager morsel for Dawn to latch onto just to feel like her feelings were validated. The way Dawn saw her seeing it, she needed diapers from the start and Dawn was quickly losing her edge to give any kind of doubts to that. “Since I made you wear them, can I take full responsibility and check them too?” Stupid, twisted Amazon logic! “Stop.” Dawn frowned heavily. “I’m getting angry. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” There. How was that for communication? “...Okay,” Katherine stood back up, but not before lifting up Dawn with her. “I’m sorry for making you upset like that. Do you accept my apology?” Dawn remained quiet for a second. She was dropping it. Just like that. Never fully, surely, because this would be inevitable, but at least she was being given some space. “...Fine. I accept. Th...thank you.” Her halfway acceptance was enough to put a delighted look on Katherine’s face. “And thank you for talking to me about how you feel!” she rosily smiled. “Dinner should be here soon, so how about we go watch some tv with James?” And as she explained, Katherine walked them into the hallway, closing the office door on the way out. “I’d rather not...” Dawn respectfully declined, not looking forward to another series of cartoons. “No?” She frowned. “There isn’t a lot for you to do right now… We haven’t bought you any toys yet...” Katherine mulled. “I don’t play with toys. I’m in my twenties.” Dawn hoped to contradict whatever was happening in the Amazon’s headspace. “I’m sure we can find some stuff you’ll like? We might have a chance to go to the store tomorrow, but that’s after work for me and James. Shoot, that’s right...” Dawn, wise enough to read the room, “I’ll be fine here by myself, you know...” Unfortunately though, not wise enough to anticipate Katherine saying, “Absolutely not.” Her voice dismissed it like a given certainty. “You know there are a lot of reasons why it’s not safe to leave you here without someone to watch you...” And today’s final stunt may have happened to be one of them... “I don’t need anybody watching me.” “Who’s going to change you when you need one then?” “I don’t need changes because I don’t need diapers!” “Heyy...” James’ voice called from the living room. Not the friendly sort of "hey," but the "watch your mouth" kind. It did reach Dawn’s ears and it did unnerve her, but she tried to ignore it. “Remember that we’ll get in trouble if that lady from LPS sees us mistreating you?” It was like her justification for diapers changed every time just to keep Dawn’s head spinning in circles. “I know you can handle it, so please show me what a trooper you can be?” “Just...” Dawn sighed in frustrating defeat, “just don’t put me in some daycare! Those must be a thing for enslaved Littles, right?” Everything she’d seen so far seemed to support as much. “There won’t be any Daycare,” Katherine assured. “It would be a little hard to find one that could take you on such short notice...” And like that assurance had gone to disappointment. Daycare wasn’t out of the question, it was simply a matter prolonged for a different day. Dawn tensed up, but she had to remind herself that it was one dreaded battle at a time. “Fine. But I’m never going to a daycare. Ever.” Katherine squeezed her. “Thank you for being so cooperative! Do you wanna play with Waver while we wait for dinner?” It was either that or cartoons, apparently. “I want to go outside,” Dawn decided, opting for option number three. Katherine started to wear a concerned expression, then had a sudden change of tune. “I didn’t get a chance to water the garden today… Okay, you can play on the deck, alright?” “Uh-huh.” She just needed some fresh air and something to take her mind off of a wet diaper. “James?” Katherine called, “Dawn and I are gonna be in the backyard, so listen for the door, please!” “Roger!” And off to the backyard they went. One of the most distinct features about their backyard was its fence. Tall and wooden, but the most concerning part being that it was tall. Much too tall for Dawn to climb, and even taller than Katherine. “You don’t have any shoes on,” Katherine said, like Dawn couldn’t keep track of her own clothes, “so I don’t want to see you running out on the grass, okay?” No pants was more in line with Dawn’s concerns, but thankfully that’s where the fence came in. Certainly she felt exposed, but at least it was a warmer night. Looking up she could see some of the stars beginning to show. She wasn’t one for constellations back home, so the jumbled mess of twinkling lights above her head could’ve been the same exact alignment she could’ve seen from Earth. From home… The saying “So close, but so far away” may have been appropriate one night ago, but the longer the day went on the further she drifted from closeness, becoming far from a solution in every sense of the word. Instead of trying to drum up a solution or devote any brainpower to conceiving one, Dawn sat on the edge of the wooden deck steps, gazing up at the stars, desperately trying not to cry over an overwhelming sense of loss. This wasn’t defeat, just a strategic retreat. A crippling retreat that hurt morale so dearly, that the meager promise of words from people she hardly trusted was her new lifeline. And sitting there, listening to the hypnotic hum of thousands of crickets hiding away, her knees fighting to be together despite a warm bulk between her legs, Dawn breathed in and out, slowly and quietly. “Anyone hungry?” James called from the crack left in the door. A resounding bark from Waver doubled down on the greeting. “Starving!” Katherine called back, waving with her wrist the last few spurts of water gently spraying from the hose nozzle. “How about you, Dawn?” Katherine started walking toward her as she coiled up the hose. “Think you can eat?” “Mhm,” she nodded, “sure.” With her mind in other places and wanting to stay there, she didn’t say much. A large pizza box was sitting on the center of the kitchen table, gallantly illustrated with a large and round Italian-stylized chef with cheeks so red and a handlebar mustache so black and curly that you might start to be suspicious of Santa’s off-season work. “Could you get out the plates? I need to go get Dawn’s chair,” Katherine asked her husband while Dawn was set back down. “My chair?” Dawn’s head followed Katherine’s figure right up until she was out of sight. Another oversight Dawn hadn’t considered. Obviously she was too small for an Amazon chair, and she wasn’t fond of sitting in Katherine’s lap either. So what did that leave her with? Of course. She already looked annoyed without even needing to see the reveal. A high chair. Yet another thing to make her blood boil, and another drawn-out, pointless explanation of why it wasn’t making her a baby when it absolutely was. “I wish I had set this up earlier!” Katherine jokingly miffed with a device in her arms. Big, but far, far too handheld to be a giant high chair. It was a chair, or a seat, but a small one, without any discernible legs to stand on its own. Dawn tried to give it a scrutinizing look before asking, “What...what’s that?” She watched Katherine pull back a chair before sliding her trinket against the edge of the table. “Isn’t it great!” Katherine excitedly spoke, likely mistaking Dawn’s cautious curiosity for enthusiasm. “I was thinking of getting a high chair...but this way we can all eat at the table together!” And no plastic trays for Dawn, which was a plus… If it weren’t for the bright coloring of the padded bucket seat, childish designs and buckle between the legs, Dawn would have completely considered it a fair and functional compromise for her size. That being said, it did vastly weigh better in her mind than a high chair… “Cheaper too, I’m guessing?” James added without judgment. “Don’t worry about that,” Katherine kissed James with an undertone of dismissiveness, implying that apparently pricing did not correlate with material cost. “What matters is that we can all sit together,” she nodded to her own statement affirmingly. It felt wrong thanking a captor for their “mercy”, yet Dawn said nonetheless, “Thank you for not getting a high chair.” By the tone of her voice, it showed just how low the bar of standards were, but apparently to an Amazon like Katherine, it made no difference. The floating seat was essentially “biting” on the edge of the table. In place where one of the normal chairs went, Dawn’s new specialized seat was suctioned on the table. “Whoosh!” Katherine cheered as Dawn rocketed off the floor and was deposited into the seat. And an insufferable feeling she tried to ignore immediately was the warm feeling of her own pee-soaked diaper her butt was now forced to get acquainted with. The seat was curved back towards the bottom so she couldn’t accidentally slide forward, and even if it did come to that, she could already feel her legs brushing the strap in between. Even when it wasn’t a high chair, it essentially had just as many restrictions… But if nothing else, at least she could argue that she was sitting at the table. And soon a large porcelain saucer, one of those large platters used at fancy parties for fancy hors d'oeuvres to service twenty guests at a time, was put in front of her. Then a spot for James, and then for Katherine. Only with Amazons as her reference did it finally click that they were Amazon plates. “Mmm!” Katherine’s voice enthused once James opened the top. “I can’t remember the last time we had pizza!” “Sure has been a bit,” James nodded, then strolled over to the fridge. “Want some water?” “That’d be great,” Katherine called, “and don’t forget to fill up Dawn’s sippy cup with her juice?” “It’s just a cup.” Dawn disagreed promptly. “And it’s not my juice. It’s juice that you bought.” “Would you like it if we called it something else?” Katherine, the wisest king of them all, bestowed unto the Little a grand compromise. “Just call it a cup...” she groaned, finding that the more she concerned herself with the semantics, the more foolish it made her feel. It was a catch-22. Take the time to argue every little detail and make yourself look like a kid fidgeting over the tiniest things, or stay quiet and unknowingly signal silent approval that only builds up to bigger and badder standards. Hence the paradox, neither route ever felt like winning. “And I want water too.” she demanded. “But I thought you liked your juice?” Katherine asked once more. “It’s fine.” she modified the question to suit her answer, as well as play things down. She didn’t “like” anything about this. She simply endured what she had to and identified the things that made it all bearable, to put it in extremes. “But I don’t want any more. I want water too.” “Oops.” James interrupted tactfully by setting a sippy cup down in front of Dawn, and she could see the reddish tint of the liquid inside. “Sorry, Dawn, shoulda said something sooner.” “It’s fine, just pour it back into the bottle.” She quipped right back, feeling particularly annoyed. It was just juice, but she wasn’t in the mood. “It doesn’t pour back into the bottle. Finish this and you can have some water.” James spoke like it was law put into effect, and effectively, it was. Dawn didn’t look happy though, feeling cheated as always. “You said you liked it, didn’t you?” Katherine right beside her tried to be supportive in her typical motherly fashion. And at least to Katherine’s credit, she grabbed the sippy cup and unscrewed the top, but left it right next to the cup. Just in case. A reminder that Dawn wasn’t far from falling back even further. “Whatever. I don’t care anymore.” She shut herself right down, then huffed her way into a different subject. “Can we eat now? I’ll have a slice of pepperoni.” It was like every time she spoke it was some sort of bomb that needed collective Amazon brainpower to defuse. “Dawn, honey,” Katherine started to say after sharing a look with James, “it may be a bit too spicy for you…” “What? You guys think pepperoni is spicy?” Dawn looked a bit taken aback. Were Amazon’s taste buds that sensitive? “I mean I guess it kind of is...but no, I’m fine. I’ll have a slice of that.” Not only that, but sweet tomato pizza just sounded weird. Life was about the salts and spices of a food. Sweetness was reserved for desserts, and pizza is not a dessert, and even Amazons couldn't convince her of that inalienable fact otherwise. “Hon, we’ll just finish what she doesn’t eat,” James told Katherine, speaking of the girl’s regret like it was a casual certainty. This wasn’t missed by Dawn, hence the passive annoyance on her face. But even if it was about to be her tiniest, insignificantly non-issue victory against these two, taking a stand in some way felt good. “Then one slice of pepperoni,” Katherine reached for the box, “coming right up!” At least pizza in this world didn’t look different from what Dawn knew back home. Sort of, at least. Cheese was cheese, and crust was crust, but proportions were a whole new ballgame here, expectedly. It was twice the size of a slice she’d normally expect, which made everything so bizarre when it still fit perfectly on her plate which was a reminder of how much a saucer that was too. And the pepperoni looked...recognizable. Same circles, same sort of texture, though they sort of looked like inverted domes, but even Dawn knew that not all pepperonis were made equally, yet hopefully loved all the same. And suddenly her slice of pizza was executed. Beheaded as it lost its tip, sliced and diced into smithereens by sharp tools of murder. In Dawn’s moment of totally paralyzing shock, she looked up at the executioner herself. “There,” Katherine smiled, pulling back the fork and knife once half of the poor slice had been mutilated into perfect squares, “that should be a bit easier to eat?” The pizza was big, very big. Even if it was a “hold with your hands” kind of food, an edible umbrella for a Little was only asking for grease to drip everywhere with each lift and bite. The math simply did not support Little's hands preventing any sort of droopage from such a big piece of food. Albeit not her ideal way of eating it, Dawn picked up a square of her pizza, popping it in her mouth. It was good. Pizza was pizza, and that was comforting enough. Cheesy cheese, tomato sauce...and...juice. A good helping of juice. She was already sipping from her cup. “Is it too much?” Katherine asked, casually eating her own slice like nothing was amiss. “Ahm...” Her tongue was nearly hanging out from her mouth just to give it some fresh air. She tried not to pant and continued trying to nurse the burning spice on her tongue with more and more of that juice. How? It was just a single bite! It didn’t even have pepperoni on it! That’s what was so spicy, right? This wasn’t normal. This was spiked, or something. Like that chocolate! “I’hm fine...” Dawn tried to say, sniffling from her sinuses starting to clear themselves. She felt like she needed to move, but that was hard in a baby seat, so she kicked her legs underneath the table, just to burn off some of the taste! “Do you wanna try some of the sweet tomato instead?” James asked, and he too, looked absolutely unbothered by the pizza. What was wrong with them? Were they made of steel, or something? Did their taste buds not work? “I’m fine...” Dawn said a bit more confidently, finally feeling her tongue calm down. This was a battle of attrition. If she could outlast the spice, she could finish the food. “I like spicy, anyway.” Questionable, but it was the ongoing battle to continuously try and prove these Amazons wrong, and she needed a victory. Desperately. Mostly Katherine and James chatted about things that mostly went over Dawn’s head. Figuratively and literally. People she didn’t know. Shows she didn’t watch. Who got a dog. who was going where. Eerily enough, it almost made them sound like normal people. Like this wasn’t some land of giants keeping other adults in diapers. And Dawn, meanwhile, was unfortunately trying to psych herself up to her second bite of food. She wasn’t scared. She liked the food. She liked spicy. She liked spice. Hesitantly, but with some resolve, Dawn plucked a square with a pepperoni on it. She could see herself now. The new fresh meat in the prison block, and she was staring down the toughest guy of the litter. As she stared at his red, pepperoni eyes, she knew that all it took was one good punch to knock this fool on his feet. Then she’d be top dog, and all the lackeys around him would be trivial. Take on the toughest first...she quietly sighed before opening wide and sticking the whole piece in. The funniest part about spicy food is the delayed reaction it can often have. That’s why this wasn’t so funny. Almost immediately the moment her tongue touched the thin slice of meat atop the square of pizza, the devil himself came down to rake the coals across her tongue. Her head felt warm and her cheeks were hot. Everything was on fire and her throat was already closing, before she could even swallow the spice bomb in her mouth. She tried to chew, she tried to endure, but tears were tears and there was no hiding that. “Dawn? Honey?” Katherine asked, then her eyes widened with surprise the moment she saw the state that she was in. James sitting across from us was caught off guard as well. “Maybe we shouldn’t have let her try...” “H-Hawt...” Dawn breathed through her mouth, continuously sniffing up the sinuses leaking out of her nose. What had she just tried to eat? This wasn’t pepperoni, this was poison! A napkin was pressed against her mouth though, held there by the ever doting Amazon beside her. “It’s okay sweetie, you can spit it out, okay? Come on, I know you’ll feel a lot better once you do, yeah?” It wasn’t even a choice. Dawn’s body decided for her that she would not be finishing the pizza from hell. She spit into the napkin her half-chewed, soft, unrecognizable chunk of pizza. After round two she was already tapping out, but even without the substance her tongue was still barely feeling any better from the beating it’d just taken. She was full-blown sobbing now. From pizza. “Want some juice?” Katherine was already holding out her sippy cup, and Dawn swiped for it like the last bottle of water in a desert. She leaned back and swigged it all away down to the very last drop. And then Katherine’s glass of water, supported by the Amazon herself. “Sweetie, I’m so sorry...” Katherine apologized, oddly enough, in a pained voice. “If I knew it was going to be this bad, I wouldn’t have let you try it…!” Dawn was too preoccupied to answer, but she wanted to disagree. Failure was learning, even if learning was painful. “Howh...” Dawn sniffled, breathing heavily through her mouth like she’d just run a full sprint, “how do you guys eat that stuff?” “It’s what we like, sweetheart...” Katherine rubbed her back the whole way through. She sharply exhaled with her teeth baring, just to make it feel like cold bursts of wind across her searing tongue. “You guys like how this feels?” Dawn asked incredulously, snot leaking from the nose. Were they masochists? Or was it like mutual sadism where they enjoyed seeing their partner struggle with the taste instead? Like how they enjoyed demeaning Littles? “Let me get you some more juice…” Katherine quickly disappeared with the sippy cup. “It doesn’t have as much of a kick for us as it does for you, Dawn,” James explained, “Amazons just have a higher tolerance for spice.” Higher didn’t even describe it. It was like calling the difference between cardboard and steel marginal. Easily, that was the hottest thing Dawn had ever had in her whole life, and these people were writing it off as some mild little thing? Dawn finally realized what Katherine set out to do and tried to chase her with words, calling, “W-wait, I said I wanted water--hey!” she shouted with a nasally tone as James ambushed her with a napkin to the nose, pinching off her fresh streams of nose juice. “You’re leaking like a faucet,” James commented, then squeezed her nose, “honk-honk!” he teased. “Egh...cut it out!” Dawn shouted back, unable to leave her chair, so all she could do was lean her head back and turn the other cheek. “If you can use your outdoor voice then I think that means you’re feeling better...” Katherine sighed with relief as she set the sippy cup back down, top still unscrewed. But Dawn’s plate was promptly pulled from her reach, paired with Katherine saying, “but I think that’s enough adventure for one night. Don’t you wanna try some of the sweet tomato? I bet you’re gonna like it a lot?” “No. I’m fine with this.” Dawn sniffled, a small, but clear detriment to her resolve. Her resolve to not feel demoted in some way compared to these two. “Do you really want to be in tears every time you take a bite of your food?” James made an obvious point, but logic was starting to lose its effect on the increasingly irrational girl; a product from trying to perceive the world she was currently stuck in. “That’s my decision. And yes, I do.” Dawn huffed. “Now give it back. I’m finishing my food.” “What’s wrong with the other kind?” Katherine frowned. “We got some just for you?” For her. It was always for her, and yet Dawn could hardly remember a single time when she asked for any of it. “And I didn’t ask for it. Katherine, James,” she crossed her arms, looking as dignified as one could in a baby seat, “I don’t want to fight.” “We don’t either.” James agreed, but did not extend an olive branch. “But you need to drop it. You’re being picky right now.” “I’m not being picky when I say that--!” “Alright, alright,” Katherine shushed Dawn promptly, even giving her husband a look. “Dawn? How about we share a slice? Actually, I’ve never had sweet tomato before; I was a little curious about how it tastes…?” “Then you can have some yourself,” Dawn groaned. “Whatever. Forget it. I’m done. I’m done eating.” “Dawn, don’t be like that,” James admonished. “You only had two bites?” then Katherine to finish the one-two. She was already pulling a slice out of the box. Dawn watched her plate be emptied onto Katherine’s and was quickly seated with a new piece of pizza. It looked like softened tomato sauce cubes dotted the top of the pizza. No circular cuts of meat that looked salty and tasty (and unfortunately spicy to an unholy degree). Just like before the pizza was cut into bite-sized pieces and things were about to loop once again. And as Katherine was cutting, Dawn knew how the song and dance would go. Sit there and force her to finish her food. Nowhere to go if the only way out of your seat was by getting on the good side of the two only people capable of it. Frustrated, she swiped a piece of the bite-sized pizza from the plate and stuffed it in her mouth. It was fine. It tasted like normal pizza. The not overtly spicy kind. Unfortunately sweet, even. Stupid tomatoes… “Ooou, is it good?” Katherine enthusiastically asked. “It’s pizza. And it’s sweet.” She was already trying to lean out of her seat for Katherine’s plate. “Let me have some of the other stuff now.” she demanded, like negotiations were still on the table. But apparently good will and masked intent were low in supply, because Katherine firmly remarked, “No, it’s too spicy for you.” Finally without beating around the bush. “If you can finish this though, we got two slices for you.” And didn’t that make her feel special. More humiliation as a reward for being so willing to be humiliated. “Just taste it yourself! It’s sweet! Pizza isn’t supposed to be sweet!” Katherine was still smiling, but something about Dawn’s taunt made her visibly stiffen just slightly. Her hand hesitated for a moment as it reached out for the food on the plate, then seemed to double down with commitment. Playing hot potato with the pizza, Katherine couldn’t have been holding it longer than a second before getting it into her mouth. “M--...Mmm…!” In a loud, exaggerated tone of voice, Katherine nodded approvingly with a hand politely covering her mouth. Her eyes were shut and her brow was furrowed while she forced a somewhat pleasant reaction. But it was clear as day. She hated it. “What, do you not like sweet things?” Dawn frowned. Again, pizza had no business being sweet, but it obviously wasn’t the end of the world. The nerve they had to call her the picky eater? “Sweet tomato is usually a flavor meant for Littles.” James commented, looking a bit amused at the look on Katherine’s face, who just finished washing down the food with a large swig of water. “Amazons don’t do well with sweets normally, like how Littles can’t handle spice...” Katherine sighed, her one-hit wonder performance far behind her now. “Well I can handle spicy. You guys just put a ridiculous amount of it on your food. Why even?” “It doesn’t taste that bad to us, sweetheart...” Katherine further emphasized by the unbothered look, or rather, a face of glee to be eating something palatable again. “Kind of like how that doesn’t taste bad to you?” “Well it does.” Dawn crossed her arms. Not bad in the unbearable sense, but bad in an unusual way. It was good. Sort of. But that wasn’t pizza. Not her kind of pizza. She’d rather nostril-flaring, throat-closing, tear-inducing pizza over something that validated the social disparity between the big and small. And so dinner went on. A continuous wear and tear to Dawn’s mental fortitude, eventually convincing her to eat some of her food, and finally just giving in completely. It wasn’t torture. It didn’t even taste bad. She just hated giving in at this point. Katherine and James chatted, Dawn listened. “So?” But finally, Dawn interrupted, specifically looking at James. “Did you find anything out today?” He blinked, glancing at Katherine like she might have the answer. “Anything about what?” She stowed away her annoyance just this once, taking into account what a busy day today had been. “About getting me back home?” “Dawn, I’ve been at work all day, and Katherine’s been watching you. There hasn’t been a chance all day--” “Weren’t you just watching tv though?” Dawn interrupted without hesitation, already prepared for a counterattack. “That was free time, wasn’t it?” “Because it’s been a long day, Dawn,” James seemed to answer without much apology. “This is just after I finished setting up your room so that you’re able to stay with us while we figure something out.” Dawn’s mouth tensed as her palms started to press against the table. But she shot a hot burst of air from her mouth, scoffing with a mumble, “Yeah, for a crib I never asked for...” Then a brazen hand caught her by the chin. “Dawn, don’t be rude,” Katherine looked down at her with a stern look. “James works hard and he’s trying just as much as I am to make you feel comfortable. He doesn’t deserve an attitude.” “...” Dawn grimaced. There was truth, but it hardly subsided the frustration. “...Fine. But I’m angry.” “And that’s one thing, but it’s another to take it out on others. Apologize.” Katherine, with a firm grasp on the situation now, reprimanded the relatively small girl. “Sorry.” It was plain, undressed and crude, but it was an apology. “I’m done eating,” she looked up at Katherine, making a statement rather than a request. She hesitated to ask, but then remembered just how little of a secret her own modesty was anymore between these two. “Can you change me now? Or let me change myself?” Preferably the latter, which in retrospect she should have asked before the former. “Before bed,” Katherine answered, rewriting the rules of the game on the spot. “And good job eating your dinner,” she smiled, “I’m proud of you for finishing something you didn’t like.” She didn’t want Katherine to be proud of her for anything. Anything an Amazon probably found pride in with regards to a Little was more than likely something to do with either blind obedience or a diaper... “It...it wasn’t that bad. It was different.” And so too if Katherine could change her mind, so could Dawn. “How about some more cartoons before it’s time to go upstairs?” Katherine was already lifting her out of the seat. “James and I are gonna still be eating, so the TV is all yours. You might have to share with Waver, though!” she playfully taunted. “Fine.” It wasn’t even worth fighting anymore, but she would certainly be finding herself in need of some other kind of entertainment soon. TV was hardly a pastime for her under normal circumstances, so she was certain to break if that’s all she could get in a place like this.

Oops. Apologies for the mistake! Goes to show I really did read it a while back... Thank you for helping clear that up! Now I might have to take a trip down memory lane! Yet who are we to question the ways of disciplining Littles? Sometimes they've just got some barriers that need a little breaking down!

I'm not going to commit to anything specific, necessarily. The extent of what goes on in this DD will only be revealed as Dawn learns about it, so I wouldn't be listing off all those things as a given certainty. That being said, there have been indicators about some of the more mild (but just as inhumane) stuff. You've seen a lack of mention of it from James and Katherine, as well as Katherine's reaction when James was getting even remotely close to that stuff. Yep! Without trying to scrutinize what I wrote too heavily or trying to recall, that sounds about right. James and Katherine definitely seem like the more "conservative" types, (really depends on how you look at things...). But just based on their actions and how they've spoken, you can probably infer some of their positions on things. Dawn's definitely in the stage of testing limits. Because she isn't getting full answers or simply finds reality too hard to believe, she's pushing boundaries until something will inevitably pushes back. She should be making the best of it, but I think the fear of this possibly being her life from now on is why she absolutely refuses to even try and get comfortable with it. The diaper dimension can be difficult, because even though everyone uses the same name, just what can go on in it is wildly different from other iterations. I don't have every detail ironed out about how and why things work the way that they do, but I am trying to establish some chain of logic. With hypnosis as an example, my favorite take on that has been from a story I feel like I read forever ago... @WBDaddy wrote it, I think? The premise was about a Little going undercover at a daycare trying to rescue her sister that'd been adopted, and pretty mutilated, if I remember correctly. (Sorry if I'm incorrect, and I can change this if that's the case!) Point is, one thing they did that I got on board with was having hypnosis available on a hard to get kind of VHS tape, or something. I wouldn't say though that hypnosis seems nearly as hard to get in my take on the DD, but I don't think I'd want it flashing on everyday TV screens on a whim, either. But who knows, maybe it'll work into something like that. But kind of just "doing the math," I wouldn't expect Katherine and James to just spring hypnosis on Dawn.

I think Dawn has almost every right to be angry, and I think what she did right then was just cashing in on just about nothing going her way. As many breakdowns as she has, it still seems fair that she'd want to keep lashing out in the most independent ways possible just to prove a point to either others or herself. Even if it disregards completely rational thinking, I'd figure she's just fed up at this point. That's also a really cool parallel to think about! It is funny to think that James really does seem to be giving her the "fairest" kind of treatment. In the end it's still more childish treatment, but he isn't cutting corners or just as you put it, sugarcoating things with her. (Not that I don't like Katherine's approach!) It was a dumb decision in retrospect, I'm sure, and I bet she even considered that it was stupid initially as well. That being said, her buttons had probably been pushed far too hard and too many times to really care about the gamble she was making. In her eyes something like this as dangerous as it is, was the only way to give some agency back to herself. After all, she got to walk down the sidewalk, unattended, able to make real choices about where she could physically go. Apologies for the wait, but it's likely to be about a month until the next public release! Thank you for enjoying the story, though! Thank you for the comment! I think it's a mix of rules already having been established as time goes on and Dawn continually testing their limits. As far as the spanking goes, I wouldn't call that unfair, because for the most part it comes from repeatedly breaking rules or acting in ways that clear common sense dictates not to, which Katherine and James expect Dawn to have. Little in diapers, or not. That all being said, I do think James and Katherine are trying to work with Dawn, though trying to compromise in any real sort of way with Dawn comes off as extremely difficult. They can't quite meet her very far because of their own values as well as Amazon society's. LPS is just another added pressure to do subjectively "right" by Dawn, and Katherine has already mentioned wanting to be a Mommy already. In a lot of ways they may not even feel or see the need the compromise. Deep down there are good intentions, but a lot of factors are warping and twisting the ultimate result. As much as it sucks to say, Dawn's real conflict seems to be pretty close to that, if not exact. Whether she really can go home or not, it doesn't change that somewhere deep down she has the hope of returning. It's the core that's preventing a total paradigm shift in her attitude, I'd say. It's the difference between resisting the changes around her and holding out for rescue, and giving up that hope and just learning to adapt to a situation that she's eternally stuck in. Dawn if not already, will very soon understand that no one in this dimension is going to give her the credibility of a fully fledged adult. She can acknowledge that but still avoid confronting it if she just needs to bide her time until she can leave this dimension. If she really is stuck here though, then it becomes that whole new conflict of actually trying to accept or combat it. Seeing those things for what they are is what may make her even more desperate to escape. If there's any kind of chance or opportunity, the thought of missing it would be terrifying. Say if she misses her chance or already missed her means of escape, that means she knows what to expect from here on. Thank you for the comment! Escape? Possibly. Long haul? Definitely. I hope to make it clear that Dawn, Katherine, and James are all flawed characters, but I think there's been plenty of DD stories to already communicate that just about every Amazon on some if not every level is flawed in their thinking. That being said, I don't want to vilify them either. James and Katherine are still "good" people, but their best intentions are from a side of the fence that Dawn wants nothing to do with. But yeah, communication is supposed to be key, though is doesn't seem like they've made too much headway on that.

Poor Joyce indeed. I think she may have flown a little bit too close to the sun... Thank you very much! Knock on wood, but at least for now I think I've found something for a consistent release schedule. With how spacing works out, Sheltered should be approximately a monthly release for the public. I may have just forgot to update one sooner than the other... However! A double release, yep! I think Joyce may have been slipping herself in a little bit more than she was expecting. While she was in a "safe" environment, I think she was just sort of lucky to not meet someone like Isabelle up until that point. For the most part she went from tame to pretty extreme, relatively speaking. And yeah, maybe she should take a page out of Emily's book? If anyone can speak on it, surely it's Emily. Yes Yeah, and depending on who you ask, it might be fair to say that she's already crossed it... All a matter of perspective, though! Thanks for the comment! Thank you for being a patron, and thank you for commenting on the public side as well! I tried to build Joyce's character as someone clearly kink-oriented, but also as someone very narrow-minded on that view of things. As devil's advocate, you can make the argument that when she was first scouting diapers or baby furniture that the very existence of those things should've been enough to make her think twice, but given how much time has passed and things have developed, I think that gives credibility to her shock in never expecting to get so close to something or someone in the flesh. It's definitely not a perfect story, and especially with the earlier half there are subtle/meaningful changes that I would make based on my own impressions and helpful critiques I've gotten over time. That all being said, I'm glad nonetheless that there are so many people enjoying it and kind enough to even leave comments and feedback. I'm sure Joyce's parents could be understanding people. After all, I think if Mary is going to be as bold and invasive as she is, being tolerant of others is absolutely the bare minimum to avoid being completely hated... So, while they may not have seen the nursery, and only Joyce's mom is privy to Emily's diapers, we'll definitely be seeing them again and there will be consequences for others being slightly in the know on Emily and Joyce's situation. Thank you again for commenting!

Yeah, given what kind of dimension she's in, I think it's fair to say that it can always get worse. Thanks for commenting! That's definitely a balanced way to look at things. One way to win the struggle can just be learning how to go with the flow, but of course that's a lot easier said than done. There is no easy answer, I'd say, and no matter what happens, it will have been a difficult point to reach. Thanks so much for commenting and reading! Thanks! 14 - Divine Revelation As advanced as a horrid dimension like this one could be, the technological advancements were obvious in as many obvious ways as there were subtle ones. Where it was evident could be recounted by Dawn from her brief vacation here, assuming she were of a saner mind, at the moment. Instead, she continued her pattern of lifelessness, boredly listening to the digital beeps and bops of every price tag scanned by the cashier. One such item that didn’t go unnoticed was the already opened package of diapers. The missing member of the platoon? Secured around Dawn’s waist... “So you just got her? Oh, congratulations!” The cashier cooed while Katherine continued to unload from the carriage. “Yeah...she’s a little bit of a handful, though.” Katherine chuckled. Dawn kneaded her knuckle against the carriage handle, biting her tongue and doing her damndest to not mind her own business, otherwise she’d be cussing out yet another stranger for getting involved in her business. “Oh, and actually, the pants she’s wearing are from the store too...” an apologetic voice was wheeling her forward. “Do I need to take them off of her?” The cashier waved her hand. “Nope, not an issue! We usually keep these tags on the back, anyway…’scuse me, sweetiepie!” And before she could resist, refuse her consent, another probing hand like it was some kind of free show gingerly took the waistband of Dawn’s pants, tugged it down some for anyone who may have thought the diaper bulge wasn’t enough already, then held her like that until a loud red beep signified the price scan. “So obedient, too!” The cashier complimented. A compliment for Katherine. A mocking comment for Dawn. “She can behave when she wants to...” Katherine sounded partially in agreement, but that only made Dawn give her an angry look, hidden from the cashier. No more beeping. Plastic bags were loaded into the cart. Was it finally over? Had she suffered enough? “Oh and actually, I have a few of the display tags for some furniture I was hoping to order...” Gee, what furniture? A new couch, perhaps? “Yep!” The cashier pepped right up. “We take care of that here...” She muttered with a scanning eye over a few slips Dawn didn’t remember seeing. Then again, she did her utmost to try and tune out all the shopping. Even if she cracked at the end, things were going well up until then. “Are you looking to have these delivered today? It is a bit extra since it’s getting to be midday...” “Yes, that’s fine.” Oh boy, and paying the premium for delivery? Dawn rolled her eyes. She’d definitely be having this used against her. More “Good will” and “faith” she’d be spitting on. “Okay, you can swipe your card here. A name and an address, please?” “Katherine Foster, at 72 Providence Road?” “Okay…! Just swipe right here, please. Do you know when you’re going to be home to receive this stuff?” “It can come sooner rather than later. We’re headed home right after this.” Please. Let it come never. Let the delivery truck catch flames or be stolen. “Perfect. Thank you, and congratulations! She’s a real cutie! Bye-bye!” She specifically waved at Dawn with a cute smile, yet Dawn was more than obliged to frown right back at her. And that was that. Just like in her home dimension. Two people with an ire hatred for each other exchanging the stink eye, then be on their way. At least that was universal. “Uh-oh!” But it wasn’t. Of course it couldn’t because that would make too much sense. Dawn didn’t have any sense in a place like this, and thinking she ever had it was just another sign of how badly she was slipping. “Careful, Mommy! I think baby needs a nap when you get home!” Getting in the last word. Of course she had to. The ridiculousness of how petty all these people were! The look in Dawn’s eye showed how ready she was to shout back, and just as she was, Katherine’s hand fell on hers on the bar. “Please...” A tired, disappointed look on Katherine’s face. In close proximity Dawn was the only one party to the expression of sheer grief on the Amazon. “Don’t cause a scene?” Dawn’s body froze up as she quietly sat back down with a soft crinkle. Her? Making a scene? Like she was the problem? Offended didn’t even begin to describe it. But as she was teeming with rage, it made her want to engage so much less. It was a continuous cycle. Yell, scream, then be ignored while the other side complained just as much, then the status quo would remain simply because they were bigger. Every Amazon was just a brick wall. Dawn was partially left to her devices in the car, strapped in the car seat while Katherine unloaded the carriage into the back of the car. They didn’t converse. They didn’t chat. No looks. Nothing. It was becoming a kind of interaction that only happened when it needed to, and it was completely initiated by Katherine. Unloading didn’t take much longer, and after a quick deposit of the carriage nearby Katherine was back in the driver’s seat. It was quiet all the same, but thankfully not from an eerie kind of stance. From Dawn’s perspective, Katherine was quietly browsing her phone before holding it to her ear. “James, hon?” Dawn was going to get permanent creases from all the frowning she was doing. She wanted to shout for the speaker, for inclusion, but she knew that she wouldn’t get it. Sit and suffer. Be seen and not be heard. “Hey honey...you’re on break right now, right? Mhm...” A small sigh left her breath, and Dawn sort of took pride in the belief that she was causing it. “We just got out of the store. We got some basic stuff as well as some furniture. No, it’s being delivered later today… Mhm...yeah, that sounds good. Let’s do that. Oh, and when you’re on your way home, could you get us some melon juice?” Instinctively, Dawn tried leaning forward to hear, but her taut car seat straps snugly kept her in place. “It’s...” Another sniff. “We can talk when you’re home; I don’t wanna wrap you up right now. Talk to you soon, kay? Love you.” When she hung up the phone, there apparently wasn’t anything to fill Dawn on, which she doubted, but didn’t press on. In a way it was a calm, relaxing drive back home, ignoring all the tense emotions laid between the two women. Katherine hoisted her out of the seat once they were in the driveway and carried her up to the front door. It was irritating in itself by how desensitized Dawn was already starting to feel about the notion of being carried in the short time she already had been. Whether she liked it or not, her body was still getting careless and didn’t feel so uncomfortable anymore. Dawn could already hear the barking and scratching on the other side. Waver’s sixth sense, no doubt, like all dogs had. The golden furball was hopping on Katherine’s thighs as he joyfully barked with a wagging tongue and tail. “Easy boy, easy!” Katherine tried to calm the pet down in a giggly voice, but the energy wasn’t all there like it’d been this morning. The dog had relented long enough for Katherine to get inside, setting Dawn on the floor as the dog paced in circles, but delighted to have one of its prey on an even playing field. “Cut...cut it out…!” Dawn tried not to smile, trying to push away the giant dog as it licked her face. In the corner of her eye she did catch a faint smile from the corner of Katherine’s mouth. Nope. That was enough to kill her emotions completely. Dawn forced her smile away and looked up at Katherine expectantly. “Take this thing off of me.” Like she was still watching the phantom image of Dawn playing with the dog, she finally refocused. “Take...what? Your diaper? Did you wet it already?” That was a question with some whiplash. “What? No? Why would I? I played your game. I didn’t make a scene at the store. Now take this diaper off me.” Dawn stood firm. “You’ll get a new one when you need changing.” Katherine explained like it was two plus two. Dawn came back with one minus one. “I’m not being changed at all. I’m taking the diaper off then putting nothing else back on.” “And we already discussed that it’s inappropriate to walk around naked.” “Then I’ll wear pants! Why didn’t we go buy any panties?!” If there was one thing Dawn knew how to give Katherine, it was stress. “Because LPS would not approve. And you just finished messing yours in the store? Wouldn’t you rather have a wet diaper than have an accident in your pants?” Flabbergasted. Dawn’s mouth hung agape for just a second. “I...I don’t have accidents…! I use the toilet! It was that chocolate, I’m telling you!” “Chocolate like every other food makes us need to use the bathroom, Dawn...” Katherine explained with a sigh, missing Dawn’s point entirely by opting for the objective truth. “Yes, but I mean that chocolate was drugged or something! It was...I don’t know...a laxative? Either way, it’s not fair! I don’t need diapers!” Was all her credibility gone now? Was that all it took? One dirty trick from a stranger to tarnish her reputation with non-disposable underwear for good? “You’re fine, Dawn,” Katherine decided for her, “now can you please come over here? I want to take the tag off your pants.” Fuming, Dawn did come over then turned her back. She felt the strong tug on her pants that snapped the plastic strings that tied the shopping tag to the clothes. “Okay...all set.” Katherine stood back up. “I’m going to bring in everything we bought, okay? Can you stay here and be good?” “Can you take my diaper off?” Dawn frowned up at her. Katherine sharply exhaled. “Fine then. Don’t be.” And without another word she walked back outside to the driveway, leaving the door half open. Honestly, why ask stupid questions if you don’t want stupid answers? Dawn turned the other way, watching the dog, Waver expectantly paced in circles with his eyes on her the entire time. Looking around, she saw a wicker basket by the door and behind the couch filled with undeniably dog toys. Picking out something that resembled a tennis ball, she held it out to the dog. Waver perked up immediately, freezing in place with tensed muscles. The hunter’s stance. He was ready. “Fine...” Dawn smiled a tiny bit. “Fetch.” She said right before chucking it with reckless abandon into the kitchen. Immediately the dog scampered after it, scraping the kitchen floor with his nails all the way. While she waited she looked back at the doorway. It was open for Katherine to get in and out… She peered her head out into the driveway. By the car Katherine was busy with half her head stuck inside, moving things around, getting bags closer to the front. Distracting work. Directly outside was the front lawn, and in front of that was a sidewalk. Down the suburban neighborhood it went. Down somewhere. Somewhere that wasn’t here. As if to test for an invisible alarm, she stepped onto the metal doorframe. Nothing yet, other than her naked feet feeling all the individual grooves of the frame. She took another step out onto the cement landing right before the steps. Nothing either. Another step and another, she’d descended one of the steps. Another and another...and another, and she was on the lawn now. Looking over, Katherine was still busy getting things in order. It was a calm decision, of all things. No hastiness, no panicked heartbeat or pumping adrenaline. Maybe a calm walk or mild jog, Dawn made the conscious and casual choice to make her way across the lawn, away from the house and onto the sidewalk. Then she started moving. Down she went and away. Was it really this easy? She tried not to laugh. All those tears, frustration and anger felt almost silly with how simple it was for her to just walk out like that. She was free. Sort of. This was the start. She continued her small jog down the sidewalk, finally reaching a point where the house was out of view. Success! Though every step was unfortunately not a full one. Part of her hips would swing with her step, courtesy of the bulky diaper between her legs, and not to mention the dreaded sound it made. The asphalt sidewalk was rough on her feet, but it hardly mattered when it was the price for freedom. Now what? She’d need to get to the Portal Station, somehow. She’d figure it out one way or another. Sneak inside, slip through a portal, then she was home. Such few steps in her mind which is why it felt so easy. So tangible. Much easier than whatever fake jargon James and Katherine were lying to her about. And as she walked, she finally came across someone. In front of another suburban home was a lawn filled with flower beds. Bright and colorful, some were tall and distracting. She could hear laughing and giggling getting louder as a sudden face emerged from the greenery and colors. Dawn came face to face with a young man. Well built, mid twenties with a sharp jawline. But what wasn’t handsome, sharp and angular was his crotch. Round and expanded, rather, hiding behind the shortalls he was dressed in. They both shared a look of surprise as they stared at one another. “Uhm...hey there...” Dawn quietly waved, feeling as awkward and unnerved as ever. Another “Little”, looking like as much of a captive as Dawn did, except was that his laughing voice just now? He was having “fun”? “Uhm...hi...” He had a deep pitch to his voice, but it sounded lighter than it should have. More innocent, fluffy. “What are you doing here?” “Looking for a Portal Station,” Dawn said, reminding herself that he was definitely not a tourist. “Do you know where the nearest one is? I need to get home, please.” On the other hand she was relieved to finally be speaking with a non-giant. “Uh...” He innocently turned his whole head back over his shoulder, then back. “I can ask my mommy?” He offered with a lot less volume control for his voice. Mommy. She shuddered at the word. It didn’t take much more to figure something out. He wasn’t right in the head. Not like he should be. “N...nevermind...” Dawn knew this wouldn’t go anywhere but bad and fast. Come to think of it, if Littles were treated as much like children as she thought they were, no parenting Amazon in their right mind would let their Little out unsupervised. Shit. She needed to go. Dawn tried briskly walking away as if to insinuate nothing was wrong, but she could hear the loud man-child shout from his lungs, “HEY MOMMMY? WHAT’SA PORTAL STATION AND WHERE IS IT?!” Forget how her feet felt, Dawn went back to jogging. The turn of the block was coming just up, actually. Yes! Progress! “Whoa there, munchkin!” And failure. Dawn shrieked with horror as she was swooped up into the air against her will, then came face to face with a rosy-cheeked plump woman in a baseball cap. “What are you doing out here all on your own, huh?” She looked past Dawn both ways down the sidewalk. “Are you walking with your mommy or daddy?” Dawn followed her eyes that moved down to her bare feet. “Uh-oh, somebody on a little adventure?” “I’m trying to get home.” Dawn seethed. “Now please, put me down so I can get to a Portal Station!” “A portal station?” The Amazon raised her eyebrow. “Sweetheart, I don’t think you have any business with a grown-up place like that…--” “Mommy?” The same man from earlier was now tugging at the Amazon’s pants. Both females looked down at him. “What’s a Portal Station?” “A place where grown-ups use to do business, honey.” She placatingly answered before giving her perplexed look back to Dawn. “Honey, do you have a name? What are you doing out here by yourself?” “Dawn.” She begrudgingly replied. “Look, I wasn’t bothering you, so could you please stop bothering me? This doesn’t concern you!” She did her best to wriggle, but she, like all other giants, had an iron grip. “I think it does if I see a lost, barefoot Little walking around by herself?” The Amazon countered, shifting her hold so now Dawn was against her hip. The perfect posture for the stranger to pull out the back of her diaper. “H-hey!” Dawn shouted with a blush. “Don’t worry, you’re still dry,” She smiled, like she knew what Dawn’s concern actually was. “Now Dawn, this is my little boy Tommy. Tommy, can you say ‘hi’ to Dawn?” “Hi...” He waved, suddenly with a shy voice as he half-hid behind the Amazon’s leg. “No need to be shy, sweetie, she’s just a baby like you!” She cooed down at the manchild while Dawn gave the side of her head a disgusted look. “Put me down.” She tried to sound authoritative, but it did so little to someone who just checked her diaper. “Do you know your Mommy or Daddy’s name, sweetheart?” The Amazon asked, outright ignoring her. “Yeah, first name Fuck, last name You.” She frowned with rock-bottom levels of patience. “Excuse me?” The Amazon’s face that wore a creeping mask of superficial pleasantries shifted into a stern frown, like she caught a young child saying a...bad word. Not a very flowery comparison. All it took was the frown though. The stern voice with her dominating size. Whatever high Dawn was feeling from dealing with Katherine, a familiar Amazon all day, all her gusto seemed to wash away with just a single look. A phantom fear suddenly flashed her torment in that bathroom. The overly-sized curly-haired woman as she stripped her, setting her out for straight ruin… “K...Katherine...” Dawn spoke truthfully, yet with a numb tongue. Escape wasn’t impossible, probably...but she just needed to be set down. Play nice, get her trust… “Well, Dawn, once we find your Mommy we’re going to find just how much trouble you’re in for being out here on your own and saying bad words.” “Mommy? What’s ‘fuck’?” The Amazon’s eyes widened with shock and disbelief, gasping in horror. Dawn, in spite of the fear, uncertainty and worry, spat a small amount of air. “P--pff...” A devious grin started creeping on her face, just long enough for the woman holding her to notice. Now she looked angry, yet could be sweet as sugar to the enslaved and broken man innocently tugging at the leg of her pants. “Tommy! Never say that word again, okay? It’s a word grown-ups use when they’re very angry, and babies are not allowed to say it.” With her closing remark, she gave Dawn an angry look. Good. It felt good. “Oh...” The Little pondered what should have been a basic explanation, yet you could see the gears in his head turning unnervingly slow for how they should be for a normal person his age. “So how come she said it?” He even pointed his finger at Dawn, in case anyone forgot who the offender was. “Because she’s a very naughty girl who is about to get a spanking.” She said plain as day which robbed the rest of the air from Dawn’s lungs. A...spanking? Was she serious? She couldn’t do that, right? She was a complete stranger! “DAWN!” A loud voice shouted from a distance. All three turned their heads to an Amazon nearly sprinting down the sidewalk, fast and with purpose, eyes filled with tears. “Dawn! Dawn!” Katherine nearly collided with the other woman just in trying to stop herself. Without hesitation she plucked Dawn from the woman’s arms, hugging her tightly to the point Dawn almost thought she was about to break a bone from the pressure. “Dawn!” Katherine heaved, sniffling and gasping for air. “What...what were you doing?! You don’t ever run away like that, do you hear me?!” She sobbed and didn’t hold Dawn any less tight. And so, the jig was up… Dawn sat there in her arms, emotionless and without response, feeling fully and completely defeated. There wouldn’t be a second chance like this. Not by a long shot. Pressing Dawn’s head against her chest, Katherine with streaks of tears in her eyes profusely spoke with raw, pained emotion. “Th-thank you. Thank you so much for finding her!” She cried out to the other woman. “I’m glad my little one Tommy spotted her when he did! I knew something was wrong when I saw a barefoot Little walking around all by herself.” “I helped!” Tommy so proudly declared...already after his merits had been stated for him. “Th...” She paused with each and every sniffle or hiccup. “Thank you, honey...” She smiled down at the Little. Suddenly Dawn was pulled away, now face to face with the tearful Amazon looking anything but cheery. Well crap. Dawn slowly started to turn her head away. It was hard to look at her for some reason… “Why did you leave like that?” Katherine cried as she asked, but the anger couldn’t be misplaced. “Don’t you know how dangerous it is?! You can’t ever go out walking by yourself! What if somebody took you?!” And take her off to a better life? Dawn practically rolled her eyes. She didn’t answer, and Katherine didn’t wait for long before going back into a hug, squeezing the life out of her. And from the gap between Dawn’s ear and Katherine’s chest, it heard, “I’m sorry about her...” Apologizing for her? For what, walking around like the independent adult she was? Sorry for legitimizing her age by accidentally letting her do something that she’s more than capable of?! “New Mama, I take it?” The woman from Dawn’s perspective sounded like all smiles again. Naturally. She sounded like her face was made of layers, all a different emotion she could portray as needed. All fake, hiding a gross, annoying know-it-all Amazon. God, she was even starting to become more and more opinionated now… “Yes...very new...” Katherine was still wiping tears, but Dawn as her security blanket continued to calm her down. “Thank you, again. So, so, so much…! I-I was just unloading the car from shopping and I left her inside. I kept the front door open so I could bring everything in. I didn’t see her anywhere when I went inside, and...” Her voice trailed the more she sounded like she wanted to recount the memory less and less. Did she really care that much? Could Dawn make her that panicked and frazzled? By just going out on her own? Apparently an entire week of being in a tour group counted for nothing… Dawn tried to push against Katherine for space, yet her hold was firm. Rock solid. Dawn wasn’t going anywhere. The other Amazon nodded with a loud noise of understanding. “Yep, I had a few close calls with my Tommy here when I first adopted him. You leave the backyard gate open one time when he’s playing on his swing set and the next he thinks of himself as an explorer...” “I am an explorer!” Tommy annoyedly whined from his “mommy’s” leg. She knelt down to pat his head. “Yes you are, sweetie, but only where I can see you!” Then stood back up, sighing with reminiscent relief. “Thank goodness for adoption chips… At least that way these tykes can’t get far…!” Chip? The hell? What was she talking about? Dawn spun her head to look at Tommy. Was...was there a chip on him? Did it make him act like a kid? Whatever it was, it wasn’t right. Inhumane, whatever the fuck she was talking about. “Right...” Katherine nodded her head, yet the woman continued. “My name is Vanessa, by the way,” She held out a hand, which Katherine shook. “And assuming she was telling the truth,” because Dawn apparently no longer had any credibility, “you must be Katherine?” “Yes, that’s right.” “Well, Katherine, it definitely seems like you might have a handful to deal with. A bit of a potty mouth too, unfortunately.” “She didn’t...” Oh yes she did, and more than that, the shock, the disappointment in Katherine’s voice, could it have felt any more out of place? She sounded so possessive, controlling, like Dawn’s actions somehow reflected Katherine’s reputation. They weren’t connected no matter what anyone said! Vanessa solemnly nodded, like she was disclosing she had an incurable disease. “She used the F-U-C-K word with me, and unfortunately Tommy overheard...” “Dawn!” Katherine’s voice turned from worry to shock as the spotlight shifted. “She wouldn’t put me down.” Dawn plainly replied. She didn’t even know why she was giving a reason. It never mattered. Might means right, and the rest is history. Before Katherine’s words could come to light, “If I could make a suggestion?” Vanessa spoke up, “Whenever my son needs a little discipline on how we use our words, soap does the trick when you need to wash those dirty words out of their mouths. Walking off on their own definitely calls for a spanking. They need to know that their actions have consequences to keep them from repeating, Katherine.” Dawn couldn’t want to leave any more. The Portal Station was a bust, but now she really did want to go back to the house. That hadn’t changed. And more importantly, her mouth had already been soaped once by an egotistical Amazon bitch.. No fucking way it would happen again. “Thank you for the advice,” Katherine smiled. “I...I’m sorry, I think I need to bring her back home before she gets herself into any more trouble...Vanessa? Thank you so much. If you wouldn’t mind, could we exchange numbers? It definitely will not, but in case something like this ever happens again...” “Nope, no need to explain. I understand completely.” Vanessa smiled while she produced a phone. “Littles need a lot of love, but they also need discipline just as much to show how much we love them even more.” She nodded like it was some cultic mantra. Secure in Katherine’s arms, they finally made the dreaded walk back home. “Why...” Dawn could feel Katherine’s body shaking. “Why did you do that? Why did you run away?” Her voice trembled and sounded afraid. She didn’t exactly feel a reason to lie, but she already knew what was about to be thrown at her. If she could already predict the outcome though, maybe it did say something about her actions. Not that she’d ever admit to it. “...I was going to go to the Portal Station on my own.” “On your own?! By yourself?!” Shock, surprise, and disbelief somehow hit her tone all at once. “Dawn...don’t you know how far away that is?” “No.” Not like it mattered. Not like anyone would tell her. Something worth doing was obviously a challenge, and getting to her actual home was certainly just that. “Th-that’s...” Katherine tried to find her words, spacing her thoughts with upset and angry puffs of air. “You can’t be by yourself without an Amazon that you know you can trust.” Whoa there. Dawn glared at her. “Yeah, and I don’t need an Amazon to walk me around. I’m perfectly fine.” “No, you’re not.” Her words cut her in an odd way. “It doesn’t matter how old or how independent you think you are. When you’re outside, you’re either with me, James, or someone else that we trust. Understood?” “Yeah. Whatever. I trust myself.” It was hardly an agreement, which is why Katherine only sobbed more. “I...I only want what’s best for you! Why do you have to fight me over every little thing?! Do you really hate me that much? That you’re willing to put yourself in danger if it means disobeying me?” “...Yeah, actually.” Dawn supposed with a look of eureka on her face. “Yeah!” She started laughing while Katherine looked down on her with silent shock. “I hate you so much, Katherine, and I hate James too! I fucking refuse to go along with your stupid games. I won’t validate whatever baby fantasies you both have. I’m an adult and nothing will change that. I don’t wear diapers, I don’t wear stupid baby clothes. I don’t use a crib, I’m not a kid, and I KNOW HOW TO WALK ON MY OWN!” The walk back home was much shorter than Dawn expected, only because she wasn’t making the comparison of her own two legs and Katherine’s. Surprisingly the front door was still wide open. Katherine truly must have come running. That being said, Waver, sat on the cement steps obediently and expectantly. As soon as he saw them both, he loudly barked with a wagging tail. Katherine without a word stepped inside, waiting for Waver to follow in before shutting the door, then locking it. Of course it was good practice, but naturally Dawn couldn’t help but feel it was personal. Gee, wonder why. Before Dawn could be set down, Katherine kept walking upstairs with her and into the empty room she was staying in, save for the pile of bedding on the floor. As angry, upset, and scared as Katherine was, she set Dawn on the floor with the same gentle touch she always had. “Let’s...let’s both cool off for a bit...” Defeat felt in the air by both parties, her voice was thick and tired. The look on Katherine’s face seemed like she wanted nothing more than this day to end. Oddly enough, Dawn felt somewhat good about it. Maybe she really did get the message across. Welcome to her world. “...Call me if you need anything...” Katherine turned her back and started closing the door, ushering Waver out with her. And just before the door fully closed, it stopped right on the frame with a small crack. She was leaving a small bit, just to check on Dawn, obviously. This was Dawn’s thought process. Again, treating her like a child. Saying she couldn’t go where she wanted without supervision, thinking she needs diapers… Angrily, she stomped over to the door, trying to slam it shut as best as she could, but the best she could muster was a hard press by leaning her body against it. Either way, she’d done what she set out to do by closing the door. Alone. Finally. Turning back to the empty and destitute space, the tiny world was her oyster. Finally! Like what she wanted this morning, she was finally back in this dreary room. Filled with nothing, just the way she wanted it. All the time in the world to burn away by just sleeping and lounging. She didn’t have to face anything now. Nothing at all! Victory at last, at such a small cost, Dawn happily leapt onto the bed. And despite the ear-violating crinkle from her underwear, things felt nice. She rolled and rolled, tossed and turned. Dozed off then and there. After some time, there was a knock on the door. Dawn didn’t bother to answer, and neither did they bother to wait for one. “Did you want lunch…?” Katherine poked her head in. No rosy look or happy smile either. “Nope. Now go away.” Dawn’s chin was resting on the pillow, pointed away from the door. “I...I can order us something? We can get anything you want?” She tried once more. The more the day wore on, Dawn was recognizing more and more the constant, desperate attempts from this woman to form some kind of connection. And naturally, Dawn burned every bridge she tried to build, even if takeout sounded good. “Don’t care. Don’t want anything.” “...Okay.” The door closed. More tossing and turning, spiced up by a bit of rolling. A little bit later there was another knock on the door, but it opened not long after. “I know you said you weren’t hungry, but I made you something just in case...” “Don’t want it. Take it back.” “...I’ll come back in a little bit and take what’s left.” The door closed. Dawn didn’t bother turning her head for a few more minutes, but finally, begrudgingly, she did. On the floor was an Amazon-sized plate with a deceptively small amount of food on it. What was deceptive was relative sizes making it look small at first. When Dawn approached the sandwich it came into full view as just a normal sized sandwich. Dawn-sized. Expecting something like drugs or a smashed up pill, Dawn lifted the corner of the bread like she was defusing a bomb. A yellow substance coated between what she figured was cheese and the bread. Some sort of cut of deli meat in between...A vegetable? It sort of looked like a radish… Then she remembered her strike, dropping the corner of the sandwich before walking away. But it was too late, the seed had been sewn. This morning’s lack of food was catching up to her as her stomach suddenly decided to grow and become a drama queen only when there was food in the room. “One...” She muttered to herself bitterly. Walking back over to the plate, she carried it with both hands to the makeshift bed so she could sit down. For it to be Little sized, that meant working with Amazon proportions to start and shaving from there. The sandwich was a perfect square, sharp on the edges from where a knife likely cut off the crusts and then some. Slowly, she took a bite out of the corner. Well crap. She nearly wanted to spit it out, she wanted to reject it so badly. It was good. Starvation had a way of making even the most disgusting things look tasty, and this was sort of like that. Not because it looked bad, but because it was seemingly mundane and ordinary, yet read to her stomach as divine for simply being the first food it had experienced in a while. One bite became two, then three...four...to eventually crumbs on a plate. Too late to spit it back on the plate now. She’d given into her urges and ate the whole thing. Dusting her hands off over the plate, she carried it back over to the floor and set it down, not once trying to consider who made it for her. Now she was thirsty, but she wasn’t about to go making any complaints about that. And when in doubt whether she was thirsty or hungry, surely she could fill her belly from sleep. Laying back down, after a truthfully long and tiring day, she embraced the silence with her head against the pillow, blissfully slumbering away. When she woke up undisturbed, the door was left partly open. Very much not closed the way she left it. The plate was gone and no one was standing in the doorway Finally bored with her life left in a single room, Dawn walked into the hall and over to the stairs, sliding down each step, trying not to notice the crinkle with each time she sat on the steps. The first thing she heard were voices from the kitchen. Sounded like James was home. And also she looked over at the door, seeing a few large boxes with packaging. Then on the corner of one she could see a design in black ink. A crib… More importantly though, she went back to eavesdropping. Katherine sounded inconsolable, crying even more than Dawn had heard her today. “I...I don’t get it…! What did we do wrong? …I love her so much, James! I just want more than anything for her to like us! I…I even yelled at her today! It hurts...it hurts so much!” “Was she like this all day?” James sounded like he was standing over her. Dawn could imagine Katherine slumped over the island while James rubbed her back. “Y-yes…! First it was after the LPS worker left and I tried calling you, then it was after I let her come out from the corner… She knew that we were interested in adopting her. Did you tell her?” “...I did, when I brought her to the hotel, thinking that was it.” She sniffled and blew her nose. “That’s fine...I’m glad she knows; I don’t want to keep that from her. But...she wasn’t happy. She hates me, James. She hates us. She was grumpy all day, pretending like I didn’t even exist! She wouldn’t talk to me, she barely seemed to care about whatever I bought for her. Ugh…!” Apparently with her other half in the scene, she felt the ability to truly pour herself out. Something she couldn’t do just with Dawn around. And oddly enough, Dawn was angry out of jealousy. Katherine got the support system to bawl her eyes out to someone that would unconditionally understand her. Where was that for Dawn? She couldn’t just fucking phone up her boyfriend from another dimension to rant about a bunch of giants treating her like a baby! “It’s gonna be okay, Kat...” “Is...is it? When we got home...I made a mistake.” A mistake for letting Dawn think she had freedom. “I left Dawn inside while I went to go unpack the car. I left the door open so I could get back inside, but she used that to run outside when I didn’t notice. I got lucky, James…! I only found her because I guessed which way she ran! A neighbor found her and stopped her, but what if they didn’t? What if somebody took her James…!” Her voice only reached higher pitches as she continued to cry. “She ran outside on her own?” James asked with surprise. To Dawn, there being any shock factor to that felt ridiculous. “Yes… What...what if someone reported that? What if they saw us? If-if they knew we let her get out on her own--if LPS knew we let her run away…!” “Okay, okay, Kat, honey, calm down, okay?” It sounded like he was getting physical, because Katherine only started sounding worse. Even Dawn, around the corner, was starting to feel weird. “She hates me so much…! I want to mean the world to her, but everything I do gets no appreciation, no thanks, and it leaves me feeling like dirt!” “It’s...I’m sure she’s trying to work through her own issues right now, too...She’s just not as good as dealing with them.” Right, of course. Dawn was the problem. Always the Little, never the Amazon. “But I wouldn’t know that...” Katherine dejectedly spoke. “I don’t know anything about her...She won’t talk to me. She barely asks for anything and I always have to guess what she wants or how she’s feeling, but she doesn’t show any emotion. She always gives me that look! Like she can’t be bothered with me in the slightest! I love her so much, James, and I’m not giving up, but I never thought a single day would be so hard…!” Dawn kept listening in, James walked around in the kitchen, long enough for Dawn to not notice the difference when he was suddenly peering around the doorway, looking right down at her. Like he knew she was there the whole time. Dawn looked up at him with a frown. “Hey.” “In the kitchen.” His voice was immovable. Angry. Yep. He sounded angry. “Now.” Katherine watched James escort the prisoner inside, holding a hand over her mouth while she cried, then turned back away. For an Amazon, Katherine was an awfully sobbing mess… “Would you rather be sitting or standing?” James asked Dawn. “Don’t care.” “That wasn’t an answer.” He sounded far more impatient. Understandably. Dawn just finished her day making an absolute mockery of his wife. “Sitting or standing?” “...Standing.” “Then you can stay right there.” He crossed his arms. “Do you want to tell me what happened today?” “Sounds like your wife gave you the gist...” Dawn deflected, truly believing her side of anything didn’t actually matter. “So you’ve been a brat the whole day and went as far as to run away on your own?” Dawn pursed her lips, trying to maintain a ‘don’t care’ kind of front. “...Yep.” “Do you have ANY idea how much trouble you’ve caused today? Any at all?!” Dawn balled her fists, finding the vocal anger in herself. “Do you know how much shit I’ve--” “Language.” James sternly reprimanded. Dawn’s muscles tensed even more as she bared her teeth. “AGGGHHHH! FUCK! SHIT! ASS! DICK! FUCK-FUCK-FUCKITY-FUCK. FUCKING COCKSUCKER! There! Language! How’s that for you! You fucking stupid--” A yelp was all she made the moment she was off the ground. James’ rock-iron grip with his arm around her had her flailing and kicking. “PUT ME DOWN! PUT ME DOWN YOU PIECE OF SHIT!” “No, absolutely not.” His voice was teeming with anger, and Katherine worriedly followed them to the bathroom. Dawn had never seen their bathroom before. She would have liked to say it was nice, but frankly was too busy with what was apparently about to happen. With a strong slam he opened the shower door, and to Dawn’s absolute horror she saw him reach for a bar of soap. “No, no...OKAY, FINE! I’M SORRY! I WON’T SWEAR ANYMORE!” All it took was the look of soap to put her on edge. “You won’t after we wash out that filthy mouth of yours. Where did you learn that it was okay to say stuff like that? Especially to the people that are trying to care for you? Is this how you thank us, for everything that we do?” “J-James...” Katherine with meek worry tried to talk from the doorway. “Kath,” James started as he turned on the faucet. Dawn with whimpering horror saw him begin to wet the soap. “I think we’re all having a rough time, but that doesn’t mean we get to do whatever we want because of it. We’re watching over Dawn, and that means it’s our job to watch her properly.” He looked down at Dawn. “I also heard you were swearing at one of our neighbors today. Is that true?” A whole other moment of frustration. Enough to make her burn right back into a rage. “You’re fucking right I--” She tried to say, but a chunk of soap was lathering the inside of her mouth. Just as she spit it out coughing, James caught it right back in his hand. “Wh-what the fuck?!” Back right in the soap went. “Until you’re done talking like you’re a sailor, we’re going to keep doing this. Until the entire bar of soap is gone, if that’s what it takes.” “LEAVE ME ALONE!” She cried after spitting out the soap, still with a mouth full of that metallic taste. “I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE! LET ME GET KIDNAPPED! LET SOMEBODY TAKE ME! ANYWHERE THAT DOESN’T HAVE YOU TWO TERRIBLE PE--” Apparently it wasn’t just swear words that irked him. Anything bad at all, even. “And we have ways of talking about the things we don’t like, either.” James angrily scolded. “You’ve had a field day it sounds like with all the trouble you’ve caused. A timeout should have been where all this attitude ended, but you’ve proven yourself to need even more punishment.” The dynamic like that went on for a bit longer. Katherine quietly watched from the door while James continued the wash-rinse-repeat of soaping her mouth, interrogating, then soaping again the moment she said something out of line. Somewhere along the way Dawn could hear the jingle of Waver’s tags on his collar while Katherine quietly tried to shush the dog and move him along. Because it was an animal spectator that of course embarrassed Dawn. Stacy’s encounter was bad, demoralizing and horrid. This wasn’t the same, but had its own level of badness. Needless to say, with each taste of soap Dawn was feeling less and less to the idea of saying something objectively bad… As she spit out the last of the suds, she coughed with tears rolling down her cheeks. “F-fine...” She whimpered in a croaking voice. “Are you finally ready to speak appropriately?” “Y-yes...” Whether he believed her or not, the sink finally turned off. James put half a bar of soap back in the shower before carrying her back into the kitchen. “Now we’re going to try this again. Without the attitude.” James’ stern look was unyielding. “What happened today?” “Everything happened...” Dawn bitterly replied, already flinching from the way James moved. “I...everything...Everything! I was treated like a baby the entire day! When...when that LPS worker came, and I was treated like a child. She didn’t listen to anything I had to say, and Katherine told me I was just seen as some kidnapped kid! When she called you I wanted to talk too since this is about ME, but she wouldn’t even include me! When I tried to be involved she put me in the corner for NO REASON! I’m tired of being treated like a kid! You both already know that I know you want to adopt me, so it makes sense why you won’t treat me like an adult! You never even wanted to!” “That’s not true!” Katherine finally interrupted, wiping her eyes. “We just want to look out for you!” “By putting me in diapers? Buying me baby clothes? A crib? A car seat?” “Yes, because that’s the best way to care for you.” James included. “And as for your little stunt after getting back home from shopping, what were you thinking?!” “What was I thinking? I was thinking that I wanted to go home!” Dawn cried. “No one felt like taking me to the Portal Station because they were too busy or thought it was a dumb idea. I DON’T CARE IF IT’S DUMB! Even if I don’t have a chance, I can’t just not try! I just lost my entire day to shopping for all the different ways I’m going to be treated like a baby, all the while everyone else got to go back to my actual dimension! Neither of you have ANY idea how that makes me feel! You don’t know how much it hurts! How powerless I feel! I don’t care if I have to break the law! I don’t care if it worries you or Katherine! I’ll do anything to get home! You both are just getting in the way! If you really wanted me to understand and cooperate, you would have humored me. You would have shown me what an idiot I was for thinking there was a chance! You’d have taken me just to prove what an idiotic idea it was. At least let me see for my own eyes that my group finally left. I just wanted closure! Some final proof so I know that I really do have to go through the long haul! Don’t just push me along and tell me how it is! TREAT ME LIKE A PERSON!” Her whole body was shaking and her head felt like it was on fire. Tears rolled down her cheeks like streams, all the while James' expression hardly looked any different, while Katherine sat again at the island, quietly crying herself. So much her legs wanted to give out; she shouted all the energy out of her body. Yet she tried to stand firm, just to look something more than pitiable. James quietly exhaled. “Thank you for telling us about how you feel. You are right. We can’t fully understand what you’re going through, but that doesn’t change the fact that you can’t take it out on us, no matter what. You could have talked to us this morning much more appropriately about this than how we have to handle this now. None of this is any excuse to treat Katherine like someone less than just because you’re having a bad day.” “A bad day…?” Dawn’s voice cracked at the sound of his words. “My entire life has been ruined, and you call that just a bad day? Where...WHERE DO YOU AND YOUR SHITTY WIFE GET--” She was off the ground faster than she could blink. “J-James!” Katherine raised her voice. Dawn’s mind was in a tizzy as she tried to figure out what was going on. “No. We’re done.” James in one stroke yanked off Dawn’s pants, laying her over his knee. “We have given her multiple chances to talk things through and express her feelings, appropriately and maturely. We do not say bad words when we’re angry; we talk things out when we’re upset.” “Wh-what are you doing?!” Dawn kicked her legs, but she was powerless against the male giant. She looked at Katherine’s expression, stricken with fear. “James, please! She is having a tough time!” “And we aren’t?” In a just as smooth motion, James pulled on the back of Dawn’s diaper and slipped it past her hips and down to her ankles. “Dawn, you need to learn that actions have consequences. We’ve been plenty lenient enough as it is, but I will absolutely NOT tolerate the way you talk about my wife and I. Katherine has been nothing but loving and caring to you, and the way you treat her is unacceptable. If you want to be a brat, you’re going to be disciplined like one.” “Right, because I’m just a stupid kid, right?” Nervousness was thick in Dawn’s throat. She was already on the verge of more tears. “Go ahead, fine! Do your--” There was a crack of thunder outside, and yet somehow it hit Dawn indoors. Her muscles tensed and her back arched inwards, feeling the jolt of electricity run through her. She felt the immediate burn of lightning on her bottom, then she realized it wasn’t lightning. “One.” “James, that’s enough!” Before Dawn could process what’d happened, there was a second crack directly on her behind. A rough and firm palm collided with her backside, slapping skin with skin as the burn only intensified already to an unbearable degree. She whimpered as she grit her teeth, flailing her legs just to find some way to dissipate the heat! “Two. Three more.” Th...three more? Three?! Make that two, as she was spanked once more. It was a whole new surreal feeling. The worst so far had been getting her mouth washed out. But being spanked? It was a whole new terrible feeling. Belittling, humiliating, and excruciatingly painful. “James, please! She’s learned her lesson!” “No she hasn’t. Dawn needs to remember why she needs to behave.” Another crack on her bottom. It felt like she was bleeding, like she was close to dying! Dawn’s body would jolt on its own, but overall she hung there on his knee lifelessly, sobbing from the terrifying pain. She’d never felt something that hurt so much before. She wanted more than anything for it to end! And finally, one last smack that filled the room alongside Dawn’s crying. Dawn from her position watched Katherine standing, hands over her mouth as she couldn’t contain her tears. It was unbelievable. It was no secret to Dawn by just how much of a nuisance she’d been today. How much trouble and turmoil she’d caused, and how much she twisted the knife into Katherine. Truthfully, maybe she wasn’t deserving of it all. But in the moment it felt good. Now? Seeing her weep for Dawn, even while she was punished for the very things she did to her supporter, finally a rottenness was building inside of her. A foul piece of herself she couldn’t ignore, like every slap on her bottom seemed to bring it forth inside of her. It was an ugly mass that was a product of circumstance. When it was finally over, the added insult to injury surely must have been that her diaper was forcefully tugged back on. The pants stayed off though when Katherine swooped her into the air and into a tight hug. “I’m...I’m sorry,” Dawn croaked. It was half true. Katherine’s entire motive was unforgivable, but other things were, as were other things simply nothing wrong. Dawn just wanted to see it that way. She was forcefully nuzzled into the crook of Katherine’s neck, continuing to sob as she shook her head, rocking her torso from side to side. “No, no, Dawn, sweetie, it’s okay, alright? We’re not mad! You’ve just been having a tough day, right? It’s okay now, sweetheart. We forgive you. Everything is gonna be fine now, okay? It’s all better now and we’re on a clean slate.” Dawn looked back over at James who was picking up her pants off the ground. She didn’t see the neutral Amazon she remembered from before. An instinctive fear rose up in her chest now. She knew James had strength, and what terrified her even more was knowing now that he wasn’t afraid to use it. The closest thing to a friend had disappeared entirely. Instinctively, she clutched Katherine a little tighter with an aching feeling by the way her burning bottom throbbed. “You can always express your emotions and how you’re feeling, Dawn,” James started, “But there will be no more being mean to me or Katherine. Do I make myself clear?” With the fear of God put into her, Dawn quietly nodded. James looked as if he was going to say something, but didn’t. “...I’m going to get started on the furniture.” James shifted topics, then excused himself to the living room. Dawn sat there in Katherine’s arms, at a total loss for what happened. Her mind was a mess trying to think of any coherent thoughts. The blistering pain from a spanking she never could have expected was dominating her mind right then. “Does it still hurt…?” Katherine quietly asked. A simple question, yet the mere thought of it finally bridged the feeling on her backside to her emotions. She needed something to grab, and the fabric of Katherine’s sweater was just that. “Y-yeah…!” Dawn sniffled, trying to compose herself, but the pieces kept falling apart. It wasn’t much longer until she was back to wailing, burning her throat from so much noise like her bottom burned right then. That night had become chillingly enlightening.

41 - Eat your Veggies “Hon?” She called from her vanity, fussing just to make sure that every hair fell in line. Anything less than perfection was sure to leave a bad look on the company. Professionals needed to have standards, after all. A male voice carried over from the other end of the quaint apartment. “Yeah?” A gust of breath left her mouth, sending her last few hairs askew yet again. She knew that tone in his voice. The ‘I’m playing games right now but totally listening, but not actually’ voice. Fine. She stood from the bench, deciding to solve whatever was left in her hair in the car. A brisk walk in heels had her peeking her head in the living room shortly enough. And unsurprisingly the TV was in use; broadcasting screams, explosions and gunshots of a much more brutal world. “Is this one that you can pause?” she asked while she watched, hardly understanding a single thing going on. Video games never were her strong suit. She grew up alongside them with her cousins, sure, but it was the kind of media she coexisted with rather than mingled with. Though, she did remember that one about managing a team of cute little monsters to be kind of interesting… “Nope,” her fiance said without turning his head, swiveling away with his thumbs at the sticks on his controller. “But~!” But? His girlfriend watched him do something, which involved a change of pace in the game. It suddenly looked like they were back at some kind of menu. No more flashes and booms; blood and gore. Finally though she earned his attention. “But I can always quit?” he grinned. “I’m that special to you, huh?” she grinned right back. “Of course you are!” he puffed out his chest all manly-like. Then his head scanned her from head to toe. Not only because he was smitten with herself and her looks, but also because, “Ah, need to go out for work?” “Uh-huh,” she spoke with indifference. “It’s important and Ms. Summers isn’t available to do it herself right now.” “Sheil, can’t it wait until the weekday?” Greg sighed not from selfishness, but the upset of having to see his girlfriend take up her own time on a weekend. “She wouldn’t mind it getting done on a Monday, right?” “Maybe,” almost certainly, she could imagine getting it done on a Monday. “But I have to go to her house directly. It’s something she left on her work computer.” Greg finally rose from the couch, sharing the doorway with her as they touched foreheads. “Okay…” And just from his look alone, Sheila knew what he was thinking. “Stop. Don’t think that. Ms. Summers is good to me, Greg. Good to us.” “I know, I know,” he quietly hushed. “Still doesn’t mean I like seeing you have to do this stuff on a weekend?” “It’s because I want to,” Sheila kissed him. Want to, yes, but certainly a soft ‘need to’ as well. Work undone that was sitting around at such an opportune moment was simply irresistible bait to the woman. Leaving an empty chair halfway pushed out from the table, leaving the curtains only partly closed or partly open on a sunny or rainy day. Letting the dishwasher clean all your utensils when you could just do it three times as fast. Yet Greg wasn’t the fiance for nothing, narrowing her thoughts down immediately. “I think it’s because you think you need to.” Sheila pursed her lips, quiet for a moment. “Maybe.” “Just maybe, huh?” he chuckled. “Whatever, I won’t stop you. And yes, your boss does sound like a good person. Just remember that you matter to me too, you know?” “And you matter just as much to me.” Another kiss. “Can you make plans tonight?” Sheila looked hopeful. “I don’t wanna leave you here without anything to do. And maybe if I finish up early I can come and join you?” Greg thought for a minute. “Actually, Kevin and a few others were planning to meet at a bar a little down the street tonight for drinks? We could join them?” Sheila exhaled with a smile. Good. Boyfriend taken care of. “Good. Go join them. Send me the address too. I’ll see if I can make it once I’m done?” “Sounds like a plan!” WOOF! Startled, Sheila looked around in a slight panic, face to face with a panting tongue lazily hanging out of their third roommate’s face. Wagging tail and all. Crouching down, Sheila frowned at the dog. “Look at you!” her voice fell into coos and chuckles. “Woosa cutie scaring me like that? Who? Who?” she ran her hands through his golden fur, taking in all his furry softness before it was time to go. “Baxter should be fine for the night,” Greg took to stroking the dog as well. “Won’t be long.” “I hope not?” Sheila laughed, “unless the plan was to get blackout drunk and make it an overnight stay at the bar?” Baxter barked again. “Shhh!” Sheila playfully stuck a finger up. “Don’t talk like that!” she accused her boyfriend. “He understands more than you think?” Defensively, his hands were raised. “I didn’t say anything! That was you!” Maybe, but Sheila dodged the blame, standing back up. “Okay, sounds like we’ve got a plan?” “That we do!” WOOF! Collectively this time the couple shushed him. It hardly did a thing to damper the pep in his step and the wag in his tail. “Oh–” a thought struck Greg and the smile left his face. “Uhm, one other thing.” A brow was raised. “Yes…?” “You…might be hearing from my mom again tomorrow.” “What?” Sheila gasped tiredly and Greg tried not to flinch. “Again? We just talked last week though?” “I know, I know…” he sighed. “She’s just restless, babe. I promise, it’ll stop soon.” “I hope so…” Sheila frowned. She knew it, and Greg knew. They were both okay with it and preferred it. But even so, Sheila still said it aloud. “I don’t want a baby, Greg. I like what we have,” she brushed her hand against their dog. “This is enough.” “And I feel the same way?” Greg spoke like his conviction had been called into question. “My mom wants to be a grandmother, that’s all.” Calling that ‘just it’ was definitely a bit of an underestimation. Parents trying to append “grand” to the title were a scarily driven bunch. Greg’s mom included. Too much hustle and bustle. Not a fan of the high-maintenance with all the non-verbalness. Maybe somedays Ms. Summers was a bit nonverbal herself with her moods, but maybe Sheila accepted it because it was already her job. And, she did like Ms. Summers. Who could like a baby? Maybe if she could skip to the speaking-and-listening phase… There wasn’t a single family gathering or event nowadays that didn’t involve bringing the talk of having kids up. Subtle nods or direct questioning, depending on how much she had to drink that evening. “Maybe we shouldn’t get married,” Sheila openly mused, “just so we can keep using that as an excuse?” “Maybe it would be,” Greg chuckled, “but I think I can take a little harassment from my mom if it means we get to share the same last name?” They touched hands. “Okay, fine,” she grinned from ear to ear. “I think I can too. But anyway, wanna come see me off?” Greg followed her to the door. “Though, it is a little funny, you know?” “What’s funny?” Sheila asked as she slipped on her jacket. “I mean, you work as a secretary now, and as a kid, didn’t you do a lot of looking after your cousins? You dote on Baxter a lot?” “Yeah?” And? “Well, Sheil,” Greg choked down a laugh. “I hate to say it, but I think you’re kind of a natural-born babysitter at heart?” While it was intended to be a ‘gotcha’ kind of moment, Sheila stuck her finger high with a eureka. “Ah! See?” She came in for one last kiss. “Babysitter.” Not a mommy. And with that, she departed for the Summers’ household. “Have…have you had your dinner yet?” Sheila asked out on a limb so strandily and shaky from the original tree of reason; the entire basis for why she was even here. Her heart was beating nervously, questioning her words that came off the cuff as soon as they came to mind. It was so wholly uncharacteristic of her, and yet it was a part that she simply did not want to ignore. “Dinner…?” For once they were on the same wavelength, which was wondering for what reason Sheila was asking something like that. She said it. She actually said it. I just asked that…I just asked my boss’ girlfriend that… “...Right…” Sheila confirmed, though had absolutely zero idea on how to follow up with it. Dinner? Wasn’t Sheila here for files? Emily wanted to express confusion, yet she remained awkward, lest it was something so four-dimensionally obvious that she was somehow the clueless one. So she opted for cautious honesty. “Uhh…no…” Her hand wandered to the cuff of her sagging hood. “Joyce usually cooks, and…I was sleeping before you got here…” She caught her. Red-handed. Sheila had made a gamble and she’d been validated. Justified. Her foot was halfway in the door and the urge to pry it wide open took the momentum. “Lunch? You had lunch, right?” Emily blinked. Lunch too? A slight feeling of unease was sprouting in her stomach. Was this second grade already again so soon? “...I wasn’t all that hungry…?” And why? Why was she answering so honestly? Sheila did Joyce things, not Emily things! She was mere seconds from leaving, and yet the whole situation hit a stunning reverse when an unbroken chain of eye-contact ensued. In that same moment, Emily silently watched Sheila step away from the door. Back inside. “And were you planning on making something?” No? “Yes…?” Was this really her business? “Like what?” Sheila asked. Momentum. A groove. Slowly, carefully, the rhythm was being found. “...” Emily told herself that was going to make herself something, though the same was said right around lunch time as well… She quietly looked over at the entrance to the kitchen, like tonight’s meal had been scribed on a piece of paper for her. What did they even have for food? To make actual food? It’d been so long since Emily made herself anything. As much as a deli meat sandwich maybe, but that’s when Joyce was working. Either that or reheating leftovers. “Emily?” Sheila called. Confidently. Expectantly. “I…a…a sandwich. I’m not that hungry, so…” “You’re not that hungry?” Sheila repeated, lacing her words with a feigned surprise, “Even when you didn’t have lunch?” There was no surprise, just doubt. And in trying to pretend like her face wasn’t feeling warm, Emily’s feet were unconsciously starting to fidget. The cornered girl resorted to her best, strongest and most effective tactic. An unbeatable one, at that. “...I…I don’t know…” Sheila quietly nodded. I won’t be going to the bar tonight. “Can I take a look?” Sheila asked, but her heels were already off and she was stepping back onto the hardwood floor. She was already midway to the kitchen before Emily could stammer something back. “W-wait! I…really, Sheila I’m fine! So…!” What did they even keep in the fridge? Suddenly it was a blur. She looked inside it every day. Hell, she looked in it before her afternoon nap! But the moment she was under a magnifying glass and was dealing with a person she was already wary of, caught in an embarrassing outfit, no less, she could hardly even remember if they kept ice cubes in the freezer. All she knew of right then was what they didn’t have. No ice cream. Bleh. Joyce liked to kid, but she also liked to follow up on her rules. Stupid rules. They rarely froze their meat; Joyce got it fresh when she was ready for it. They had vegetables, but that was it. She didn’t mind stuff like that– Correction, she did mind. A particular prejudice for beets, specifically, but that was a totally separate issue. Back to the thought at hand; what could you do with vegetables alone? A bottle of wine that Joyce liked was in there too? That hardly made for a dinner, though… And as much as Emily wanted to ask why her girlfriend’s secretary was currently snooping through their fridge, she was simply too busy bunching up her footie pajamas trying to muster the courage that could let her actually ask those things. Question the person that Joyce trusted so vehemently. Trusted enough to be their personal diaper procurer. The secretary went straight for the fridge once her feet crossed the threshold. She stopped only for a moment to admire the page torn out of a coloring book. A small smile escaped her once she saw that. Cute. Emily absolutely did this. Sheila’s eyes scanned up and down the tidy and clean interior, looking over the assortment of things to work with. No meat. Vegetables. Wine? Sheila could feel Emily’s presence behind her and the memories of her at a particular hotel one particular night. Definitely no drinks tonight. The fridge was closed and Sheila moved on to the cabinets. “Sh…Sheila? I…I really appreciate it, but I’m all set…” “Didn’t you say Joyce normally cooked for you?” The committed woman asked with her back to the rest of the room. “It’s no trouble, really. I can cook too?” And Emily couldn’t? Well…maybe some questions were better left unanswered. She “cooked” sandwiches confidently. Maybe she wasn’t a cook. An assembler at best. But that wasn’t Sheila’s business, and neither was Emily’s nursery. And yet, while Emily disillusioned herself into thinking there was still a thin veil protecting her and Joyce’s darkest secret, Sheila was busy trying to snip at the last few threads still spacing Emily from the diapers. Busy with that and formulating a dinner. To Sheila, it simply wasn’t her boss’ house anymore. It wasn’t some silly, boring job to go run after some digital files. The clock had been wound back to a high school Friday night. Her aunt and uncle were on date night and her sweet baby cousins had become her responsibility for the night. Pasta…? Sheila held the box of carbs in her hands, contemplating. Spaghetti needed a sauce… “Emily, does Joyce…?” Then she stopped. Would Emily know? “Sorry? What was that?” All Sheila did was smile. “Sorry, nevermind!” One more cupboard later and there was in fact a can of sauce. The silly and ignorant Emily told herself that Sheila was just doing prep to set the girl up for the rest of the night. You know, what a secretary would do. Set up meetings, set up schedules and appointments. Set up the beginnings of dinner… But one pot of heating water later and Emily was having serious doubts. Things had clearly gone beyond what should and should not have been condoned, yet only after the damage had been done was Emily finally finding the will to speak and confront. “Sheila…?” On a dime Sheila’s head was turned. “What’s wrong?” What wrong, hon? Damn! She nearly just said that? Honey? Sweetie…? No, she probably shouldn’t say that, she shouldn’t. She wouldn’t… Was this water boiling already? It was starting to feel a little hot… Emily interrupted the woman’s thoughts. “You don’t have to make me anything… I appreciate it, but I’m all set…really.” And yet Sheila casually shrugged, searching for a can opener. Crap. Sheila had already sunk her fangs into this and her hold was getting stronger by the second. Every moment of uninterrupted authority was another ounce added to a crushing case of justification. Poor Emily simply didn’t have the strength to fight this woman off from her own convictions and conclusions. With a utensil resting in her hand, Sheila looked at the girl from across the kitchen. “I’m here, Emily, I might as well? Besides, you’d get your PJ’s dirty if you tried cooking like that…” And her comment made Emily’s eyes wander down. But finally, something to work with! The moment she opened herself up for an attack, Emily’s heart skipped a beat. The pot calling the kettle black, as they say? It was an off-moment to be feeling it, but maybe a piece of Joyce’s wit had finally rubbed off onto her…! With an inkling of inexplicable trepidation, one adult said to the other, “But…you’re dressed too?” Sheila paused and Emily did her best not to smile. Easy! Victory! Sheila’s empire of logic was failing and everything she assumed and insisted on was now but a fallacy, all because the silly secretary had made the critical error of wearing a formal office jacket to a home visit. She wouldn’t dare risking sauce on her work attire! Why Emily felt an almost competitive nature, or the unspoken idea that she somehow needed to “earn” her freedom or independence from this woman was absolutely beyond her. And yet, if either of them could read each other’s minds, they’d understand quite quickly just how many unspoken assumptions and vulnerable feelings were influencing the other. And while the corners of Emily’s mouth were ready to jump with glee, two cinderblocks of blind ignorance came crashing down on them. “Thank you for reminding me,” Sheila chuckled, making a show of her appreciative smile. Off came the jacket that Emily foolishly thought to be the linchpin that’d do her in, dressing down to just her sweater that certainly could afford a battle scar or two from a war on tomato-saucy terror. She disrobed just as easily as Emily could have changed into something else. Something that Sheila couldn’t have just used the same exact reasoning against. Just like that, the self-invited woman was back to taking charge. Clueless now with what to do, Emily quickly disappeared from the room, phone slipping out of her pajama pocket. Joyce…pick up! “So if you’re not comfortable with it,” Carol steered them up a short set of brick-laid stairs, “There’s nothing wrong with using a fake first name or anything like that, you know?” “There isn’t?” Joyce gave her friend a weird look. “I can’t say I’ve ever gone under an alias or anything before,” she chuckled. Well, maybe a retired chairman on paper, once or twice… Carol shrugged. “I don’t bother with it anymore, but I was a little cautious at first. This sphere of business is a bit more…’underground,’ I guess. You don’t hear much about it publicly for a reason. Just want to be mindful of…you know,” Carol looked her up and down, like Joyce’s fortune was stored in her looks. “Thank you for warning me,” Joyce smiled, reaching the front of the restaurant. It did look busy inside, yet a quite obvious sign still called it out as reserved. This many people came for something like this? But now that they were here and Joyce knew it was real, she was feeling something like the kind of nerves Emily got whenever she was meeting new people. “And…also,” she stole another glance at the people inside. “Should I…erm, prepare myself for anything?” “Pre…pare?” Carol didn’t share the same thought, hence her confusion. Darn. Did she really have to say it? “Like…stuff? People showing things…? Or…wearing stuff?” Stuff that wasn’t normal clothes? Carol’s eyes widened. “Oh!” she laughed aloud, patting Joyce’s just slightly flustered shoulder. “No! No! Not at all, I promise! This is strictly about networking. Nothing like that is allowed here. Definitely not.” More than anything, it was a relief to hear. By now, it was safe to say Joyce was hardly a stranger to the ideas of diapers, bottles, cribs, and playpens. Rather, a beneficiary, even, as long as it somehow involved Emily. That all being said, Joyce in her own estranged bubble that she trapped Emily in with her somehow had virtually no understanding or concept of other kinks or “niche” interests. While it could be argued she was hypocritical or ignorant to have no interest or hold reservations for anything else, that’s simply how it was. But maybe that could stand to change. Inside the restaurant they finally went, shifting from crickets playing under the night sky and to a bustling crowd of appetizers and conversations. Joyce’s eyes immediately wandered to spot the crowd. Size it up. See who she was dealing with. It was a formal kind of event, but not overly formal. Casual, just maybe. Needless to say, her first thought was probably if she brought Emily. Dress her in something that had stripes or a little bit of color. Stripes played up the mood and color magnified her eyes. Anything to bring out a little something in her. “Joyce?” Carol tugged on her arm, ending the daydream. She discreetly pointed nearby. “We need to go sign in.” “Oh, right!” Joyce apologetically chuckled. “Sorry! Just people-watching.” “Sizing everybody up?” Carol asked as they walked up to a receptionist podium. But Joyce didn’t get a chance to answer before a new conversation began. “Hi there!” The man behind the desk gave a small wave before picking up a weighty pen. “Who am I signing in for?” “Carol Baker?” Carol, clearly not adverse to the idea of using her own name, offered. “And this is my plus-one.” Carol then raised her brows, leaning in at the entrepreneur with a grin. “Her name is…?” “Joyce,” Joyce decided, bold and brave enough to wear her wallet on her sleeve rather than hide away. Besides, if there was any merit to this and something did actually go somewhere, moving on from a fake name was certainly an awkward foot to start on. “Last name?” he then asked, and Joyce hesitated. “‘S’,” Carol jumped right in, finishing for her. Apparently it was of no issue, because moments later they both had their own name cards. “Thanks for that…” Joyce muttered, adjusting how the card looked on herself as she walked. “Of course!” Carol chuckled, taking the lead back to the main area. Though, quite not so tactfully she added, “Oh! But, maybe as a thanks, say if…I don’t know…you find something that might be worth investing in?” Dollar signs flashed in her eyes. “Don’t forget about who brought ya here?” Cute. Not quite Emily cute, but cute. Joyce smiled regardless. “Yes, I will most certainly remember…” she chuckled. “So…what’s the best way to do this?” “Well first,” Carol paused as she finally started to survey the crowd herself, “Ah! Let’s go meet him!” Him? After navigating an aisle carved by the backs of people standing in circles and chatty cliques that were forming, Carol tapped on the back of a broad-shouldered individual. Just as he turned, the first person he saw was Joyce, then noticed Carol just a few inches below. “Oh! Carol!” “Logan!” The pair hugged just briefly before separating. “Ah– One second?” he apologized, turning back to his group. “Sorry, I’ll be back later to discuss! I just need to catch up with someone.” Waving as he left, Joyce, Carol and now Logan in accompaniment found an empty booth by the side. “First, this is my friend Joyce,” Carol warmly introduced and Joyce just smiled. “She’s not new to business, but as far as things like what goes on here, that’s a bit different.” Logan nodded as he listened, scratching his black void of close-shaven beard for just a moment. “Uh-huh? Well, first,” Logan stretched his hand across the table, giving Joyce a firm, yet reasonable shake. “Joyce, thank you so much for coming. I know that it can sometimes be a little strange or intimidating attending stuff like this. So first and foremost I want to assure you: it is just business. All talk, nothing else.” “Don’t worry,” Carol cut in, “I made sure to tell her that.” Another trained laugh left Joyce’s mouth, holding a hand to her mouth. “Jeez, you’re making me sound like I’m just in it for the money…!” And everyone laughed, but then an internal panic started to rise. Wait, what if they were just in it for the money…? Did that mean she just outed herself as someone supposedly in it for the kinks, too?! “I–” she stammered, “I mean, I guess I’d be lying if I said that investing wasn’t my main interest…” Logan held out a hand, as if to halt her words of self-doubt. “No, no, really, I understand. Carol’s the same way.” “I am,” Carol gingerly included. “I just don’t want you or anyone new to things like these feeling nervous. Everyone has their reasons for associating with this, just like with anything else. Even if you were here just for the potential profits, which hey– money is money, I completely understand. That being said, any kind of capital to help business or services related to what these circles have an interest in is always welcome.” In other words, not a single investor had to actually like the kink they were helping pay for. Profit was profit and nothing else had to come of it. A truly blind investment, but by no means was it unheard of. After all, Joyce could hardly imagine that every shareholder of a dying movie theater chain believed in the actual product just as much as their primary hope of just turning a personal, baseless and speculative profit. “Well, thank you for assuring me,” Joyce nodded appreciatively, trying not to let her eyes wander. All this red-tape talk was starting to make her admittedly curious. “So…how do I know who…uhm…has an idea?” As far as she could tell, Joyce saw no difference between either the givers or receivers. Her scenes that were few and far between nowadays were the kinds that rented out properties and had designated stands and displays. All she could see here were handshakes and business cards. “I was hoping there’d be some kind of system like that by now…” Carol passively added, implying this apparently wasn’t an unpopular opinion. Logan could only half-grin apologetically. “Okay, I think you might be in the same boat as Carol, here. But, hopefully you might be a bit more receptive than her, Joyce?” “Bold of you to talk about me like I’m not sitting right here?” she frowned at him. Joyce watched with a tinge of amusement. Logan’s face didn’t have much to offer in the give-a-fudge department. “Sorry, Carol! You started it!” “Well,” Carol was scooting her way to the edge of the booth, “I suppose I shall make it so. Joyce, I’m going to get a drink and start meandering, alright? If you spot me, feel free to be my shadow!” “Will do!” Joyce saw her off, now just with Logan. “If you don’t mind me asking, how’d you two meet?” Logan watched his friend disappear before sitting up straight again. “Oh, uhm…through her husband, actually. Nothing big!” Yes, through her husband, which was through their daughter, which was through Emily’s misadventure at the zoo… Not complicated in even the slightest. “Awesome, that’s, er, great,” he suddenly laughed, and Joyce did too. Anything more than that would’ve been forcing the man to make up comments and lies that had no basis about her. Carol was a friend, sure, but Logan’s extent didn’t go a whole lot farther than that. “So…I’m just supposed to socialize?” Joyce tried summarizing, finding the job easy enough, albeit a little aimless. Taking in a breath and finally exhaling with an admission, “Yeah…okay, I know, I get it. First-timers can find it a little hard talking to people, especially about kink stuff.” Kink. The first time Joyce heard that word this entire night. Suddenly it felt real. Suddenly it was more than just indirect references and a nondescript socializing dinner. The dynamics were astronomically different from the norm now. She wasn’t speculating just businesses, but kinks. Weird, wacky and odd kinks. Things people did for sexual pleasure and she was throwing money at it? “Nervous?” Logan smirked, kind enough to get a read of the booth. Joyce’s hands were together, stroking her knuckles. It wasn’t the best look, but without having her girlfriend around and not needing to be unwaveringly brave, her face slumped. “Is it that obvious?” “Eh, a little? Getting through the front door is pretty impressive though.” “How about flying across the country?” “No kidding?” “Yep. Carol and I are from the same state.” “Oh, well, I guess when you put it that way it should’ve been obvious!” he laughed. “But actually, hey?” Logan stood from the booth waiting by the table on his feet. “Since you’ve been so graciously abandoned by your friend, and I have to be a good host, why don’t I get you started with some people?” Joyce nodded, though her tinge of trepidation she forgot to leave with Emily was tingling. “With other investors? Or…” “So another thing,” Logan smiled over the forgotten talking point, “Part of why we don’t have any visual labels is because as much as there are investors and idea-havers here, my hope is to really push forward a collaborative style of relationship.” “Isn’t paying someone to make them more money collaboration enough already?” she chuckled. “Yes, very true. But, stuff like this is usually at least a…” He paused for something eloquent. “-- an inherent passion to the originator? People on some level do care about what they want to produce or do here, Joyce. After all, a passionate project tends to pay!” That it did, and thinking on a cute diaper bum she got to fondle last night, the return on investment didn’t always have to be in cash… “Okay, sure. You win,” Joyce sighed giddily with some wind beneath her sails. “Since Carol ditched me, I think I’ll take you up on introducing me to someone?” And with an exaggerated bow, Logan signaled for her to follow. “It would be my utmost pleasure!” “Emily! It’s ready!” A distant voice called and Emily shuddered from the floor of her room. Same place she was when it was time for the dentist. She was laying against Joyce’s side, fuzzy feet against the bottom of their tall window while she tried to get some kind of response from her girlfriend. Absolutely nothing. What gives? Busy, probably, but that was no excuse for going quiet…! Emily huffed, looking at the doorway. If she was the one not responding, it’d end probably in a legitimate spanking, now that Joyce was apparently into that. But also apparently Emily couldn’t not be into spankings. Well, she could, but that’d probably only make Joyce like it more. Mommies like effective discipline. And right now Joyce was above every law in the universe. The one that included keeping communications. “Emily?” Sheila called again, whisked away by her own mood of giddy fun. Greg had long since been texted that she’d be running late. After all, her work “still needed to be taken care of.” A plate of dinner was awaiting her boss’ special someone and the mood couldn’t have felt better despite her flurry of emotions. Of course Sheila still had her reservations; about what she was doing. And yet, with each little reveal or small mention and mishap at work, they were all little droplets into a big bucket of pent-up frustration. Frustration she didn’t even know she had until tonight. Until she caught little miss Summers in the cutest pajamas she’d ever seen. “C…Coming…!” A faint voice reached her from the other end of the apartment. What was keeping her? Sheila brushed the spoon of a clean ladle resting in her hand. After a few padded shuffles Emily emerged, for some reason half-expecting her highchair to magically be there. Thank goodness it wasn’t, otherwise she’d be having hospital food for the night after her heart attack. It wasn’t Joyce there to receive her, but a close branch that had quite the similar arsenal. The way she stood. The way she smiled. Down to the very way she even had the chair already pulled out for her… Everything now seemed to put the girl on high alert. What’s worse, Emily felt the need to scrutinize anywhere for potentially a baby bottle or a bib. But she knew she was being silly… Sheila may know about the diapers, but that was it. She likely assumed Emily wasn’t wearing them, and she definitely didn’t know about the nursery. She was safe. Protected. Sheila didn’t know. She knew nothing. Nothing but beets. Her hand on the top of the chair held her back the moment she saw it. Staring long and hard at the plate of green spinach leaves, slices of tomato, onion and feta, there and all throughout were monsters from the purple, soily deep all throughout. “Something wrong?” Sheila asked, standing right now to her. She was looking down at her handiwork now. Did it look bad, or something? Putting on her bravest look, Emily sunk into the chair. “N…no…No. It’s nothing…” Despite never having asked for it, Emily smiled somewhat appreciatively. “Thank you for dinner?” The pasta did look good, and had the salad been one specific ingredient short, it would have gone from putrid to perfect. It was gratitude and that’s all Sheila wanted. She smiled cheerily before she walked away. “Of course! You’re very welcome.” It was one trip to the stove and counter later before Sheila was sitting a chair’s width away from her at the table. “Do you mind if I eat with you? I was going to see my fiance after I left, my boyfriend, but he got a little wrapped up in something. I hope you don’t mind me imposing and all like this…” I know what fiance means… “No, that’s fine. Sorry you’re stuck with me and not Joyce?” After all, they actually had a dynamic. Sheila and Emily? There was something, but it certainly wasn’t business. Sheila waved dismissively. “Don’t worry about that. Joyce and I…well,” her eyes wandered above for a second, “She’s my boss, so I don’t like stuff like that so much. Or…I guess it makes me feel a little uncomfortable.” “Keep your distance?” Emily ate a forkful of pasta. She was going to eat a forkful, then Sheila piped up. “Ah-ah! Emily? Uhm, maybe you’d want to take off the pajamas first?” Just as she was starting to forget, her substitute-Joyce had reminded her. “Oh…” And embarrassingly, Emily set her fork down. Standing back up she hovered to the edge of the kitchen. “S-sorry…let me go change real quick…” “Sorry I didn’t think to remind you,” Sheila included apologetically. She’d have to be better about that next time. Next time? A few minutes later Emily had returned in the best adult-looking pants and shirt she could find. Sheila quietly observed with an inexplicable feeling of disappointment, but left it at that. It was almost as if they were equals now. And thankfully for Emily she was feeling some confidence now, having shed her skin and emerged as a blossoming, super-mature butterfly. “Sorry about that… So you were saying? You prefer keeping it work-related around Joyce?” “Uh-huh,” Sheila nodded, taking a bite. “It might sound weird, but I think I just work better when I know what I’m fully dealing with. I know it might be unusual, but I like clearly defined roles?” Ew. Weird. Did Sheila put deja vu in the sauce? But more importantly, no wonder Sheila was held in high regard. She was just like Joyce. “No, I get that,” Emily mumbled partway through a mouthful of food. After swallowing, “So like, it’s tough to be friends with your boss!” “Exactly!” Sheila immediately lit up. “That’s exactly it. I like Joyce and I think she’s a very capable person, and that’s why I want to do whatever I can to help her.” She took a second to quietly observe Emily who glanced down at her food. Helping her boss in any way. Even if it meant holding down the fort at home. “Well, I guess just from when we’ve talked, Joyce does have a lot of nice things to say about you,” Emily added, and tactfully retracted all the sensitive backdoor-bits. “That makes me happy to hear,” Sheila smiled appreciatively. Maybe she really was appreciated if the boss was bragging to her dau– Girlfriend. Sheila’s smile didn’t falter as the mental struggle ensued. The conversation was sobering, enough to help Emily forget whatever weird funk she was feeling since Sheila got here. Enough to make her curious. “Oh!” An eager feeling suddenly hit her. Her leg excitedly swung under the table. “So what’s Joyce like at work?” A very good question indeed. Something she could probably never get straight from the source’s mouth. A working Joyce to Emily was like talking about a unicorn. By big mama’s doctrine, a Joyce away from home simply did not exist. All she got to know was the motherly and girlfriendy one. “At work?” Like always? Sheila pondered, only just remembering how intimate her boss had been with Emily that one night. “Well… She’s definitely passionate about her work. I’ve had a few late nights just trying to get her to leave her office.” A surprised giggle erupted across the table. “What? Really?” Joyce choosing to stay late? Impossible! “That was a little while back though,” Sheila lightly chuckled. A bit before Emily, most likely. “People at the company have a lot of respect for her,” she continued. “Though…” What were the best words to use… The most appropriate ones to use in front of her boss’ number one confidant. “Joyce can be very…strong-willed?” “Right!?” Emily damn well near slapped the table in excitement. A mutual understanding! Sheila looked slightly taken aback, hence Emily quickly simmering herself down. “S-sorry…!” she couldn’t help but giggle. “I just… That’s exactly how Joyce is when she’s home!” Maybe work and home with her were one and the same? Immediately her mind was racing to share an example. And oh so many to choose from! Like…oh! That one time Joyce supervised her the whole time while they cooked? Or…ah! The other times when she forces her to wait in the bathroom until she’s done drying off? Or maybe when she’s fidgeting on the changing table! No scary movies without a diaper on? Well, Emily’s frantic mind paused for that one. Not quite a rule yet. The Supreme Joyce was probably still deliberating on whether that one was constitutional or not. Not quite ratified yet, but Emily had a hopeful hunch. Aside from that one though, so many examples! So…so many…and she couldn’t share any at all… Not one. Sheila raised her brows, waiting for more to follow, but by the look on her face, clearly there was more she did not want to tell. Throwing her a bone, Sheila said, “So you wanted to know what else, right? Mmm… Well, hmm… If I share this, do you promise not to tell her?” Emily blinked. A secret? A secret about Joyce? If it weren’t for the food in her mouth Emily would have been smiling from ear to ear. Forget everything she held against Sheila; this woman was pure gold! Vigorously she nodded. Sheila pursed her lips, choking down an elated feeling just to see the girl so giddy. If only she had the authority to wipe that small smudge of sauce on her mouth…! “Alright… Well, recently, Joyce was having a bit of a…bad day.” The one audience member gasped aloud. “Like she was angry?” Joyce? Angry? She could be slightly cranky or moody, but that was the worst Emily ever got to see! After a momentary thought and a calculated admission, Sheila nodded, “Yes, I guess you could say she was. But, maybe more like upset? Anyway– I usually take down notes for her in meetings that she has to go to. There was a presenter for a product revision and Joyce was being…uncooperative.” It was as clear as day just how many eggshells Sheila was walking on, trained to be obedient even when her boss wasn’t actively around. Yet despite her subtle choice of words and active filtering, Emily could see through all of it and was eating it up so eagerly. As eager as she was to ignore her beet-ridden salad. “And I…” Sheila cracked a sudden grin, trying to hide it with her hand and fork, “I probably shouldn’t, but I guess it was a little funny…” “What? What was?” Emily pestered with a baited breath. “The presenter…Joyce sort of…snapped at him.” “No way!” Emily laughed at the poor unknown employee’s expense, too busy envisioning Joyce in such a hostile manner. The humor only came because it sounded so unlike her and so very much all the same. Maybe the joy though came from getting to hear about Joyce’s wrath and not being on the receiving end of it for once. Luckily for Emily, she wasn’t the one caught lying this time…! And what was never considered in the girl’s fanatical mind was the world of difference that laid in consequences. Joe Schmoe was risking his entire career getting in Joyce’s way. Emily was in danger of thirty minutes with her nose facing the corner. “Sometimes Joyce needs a little bit of talking too…” Sheila quietly laughed. “But ninety-five percent of the time, she’s probably one of the best people you could imagine working with.” “That’s good though,” Emily smiled, stowing away her devilish grin. Oh how much fun it would be to taunt Joyce with all of this. Barring what she was explicitly ordered not to share, of course…! “And also,” Sheila pointed with her fork, “Is something wrong with the salad?” “Hm?” Emily smiled innocently, daring not to look where she pointed. Her plate of pasta was near-finished, and yet her splendid garden of greens right beside it hadn’t been harvested one bit. “Your salad? You haven’t touched it…?” Finally Emily did acknowledge it, dancing her fork around precariously. Carefully. Deliberately. Right until she had just the right serving. Just the right stuff with none of the poison sitting on her plate… Success! Emily popped a forkful of spinach, tomato, feta and onion into her mouth. It was pretty good actually. She smiled, almost forgetting her manners and flashing an empty mouth. “Nothing’s wrong? I just…like eating stuff in order? Kinda weird, but I guess that’s just what I do…?” Good lie, Emily! Actually! “Oh, alright. Sorry about that, I hope I didn’t make that weird?” She hoped she hadn’t, as a fully-stocked adult nursery was still a long ways away from calling anything before that weird. Emily’s head was casually swinging each way. “Not at all!” And just to try and prove it, Emily took another filtered bite from her salad. “So?” her eyes lit up again, “Can you tell me any more stories about Joyce? I wanna know more!” It was another fuzzy tickle in Sheila’s brain, and maybe her heart, but she laughed in tune with the pleasant feeling. “Another one? Okay…let me think…” “Todd, right?” Joyce’s rehearsed smile came out to play, “Thank you for taking a second to chat with me! I’m wishing you the best!” Wishing him the best? For a store that specializes in selling whips and collars? Joyce didn’t get it, but she was coming to respect it. The pair parted ways, each drifting into their own pool of the crowd. Each conversation was enlightening, to say the least. Cages meant for chastity, leatherworks, latex fashion, “rent-a-puppy,” which was most certainly not a puppy, and the like. Ball gag designs like they were fashion statements and phone cases, platform heels so high with stiletto heels so sharp– tall enough to actually make Emily look like a big girl. It was nothing Joyce could have ever imagined as legitimate ideas, and yet she was astonished to see them as plausible, given context and explanation from the “idea-havers,” as Logan put it. It was all with a grain of salt, considering the whole point was to sell yourself and your project, but the bias was lessened if it meant Joyce was actually seeing it herself. Bizarre, sure, but there really was a market for all of this. Markets that weren’t quite speaking to Joyce. She mixed and she mingled, learning quite a bit about the other side of life and what went on behind the public door. Fascinating, yes, but personally interested? Not as much. None of it clicked. None of it had her jumping for joy, pouring out the cash or personally wanting to see any of it come to fruition. She wished them all the best, certainly, but she was indifferent to being a part of any of it. She was a bad liar, saying that it was all about the money. It was, but that in itself was just a pretense. A pretense for what she didn’t even know herself. Something. Something that spoke to her. Her emotions. Without skipping around in figures of speech, Joyce was made of money. She was set for life, and by extension so too was Emily. The only stake she had in a race like this was personal interest. An interest that wasn’t being pegged quite yet. And maybe not at all. And in her thoughts she accidentally touched shoulders with another person. After bumping the bronze shoulder, Joyce apologized on reflex. “Sorry about that! I’m sorry– I’m barely looking where I’m going!” “No-no! Stop!” the stranger laughed back with her black headful of curls bobbing with her chuckle. “Gosh, I’ve gone so many times around this place already, I should have some better awareness!” They both laughed, but they didn’t move on. “I think I may have seen your face around here a few times?” the young woman scrutinized with a playful eye, then looked at her nametag, “Ah! Joyce! Joyce S!” “The one and only,” Joyce smirked, then looked directly across at hers. “Isabelle…Barros?” “So nice to meet you!” Isabelle stuck her hand out and Joyce returned the gesture. “I don’t want to sound too excited, but I really was hoping to get a chance to speak with you?” “Who? Me?” “No,” she commented, pointing her finger somewhere random. “The other Joyce! Yes, you!” Isabelle, clearly in her stride without a drink in her system and simply pure lovability and energy laughed. “You’re not busy, are you? Can I take up some of your time?” Clearly she had no other takers, especially when Joyce was the one approaching people all night. Carol was probably still busy networking as well. Likely laying the groundwork for a small fortune. “Sure?” Joyce shrugged, allowing herself to be led by the shoulder. Not often someone as forward and as tall as her would do that. The best anyone could do to get her to follow was a padded tush leading her by the hand. “Sorry, I hope you don’t mind sitting?” Isabelle apologized, wiping her forehead with a slightly exaggerated sigh. “It feels like I’ve been running in circles all night.” “Oh yeah? Trying to find investors?” And Joyce with her subtle guess figured that she was being pegged as another “customer” right then. “Did I give myself away so soon?” She smirked, then chuckled. She seemed unapologetic, but it wasn’t a turnoff. “But yes,” she admitted with a sigh, yet still looking just as lively as she might have had she not been on an investor’s losing streak all night. “Has anyone brought anything up yet that’s interesting to you?” A sigh of pausing to think weighed over Joyce’s mind. “Well…I guess the one about robotic tails that…uhm…go in the back was interesting…?” Joyce did her best to explain in censored terms, but the look on her face was obvious and Isabelle was already laughing. “So it’s not your cup of tea, I take it? That’s alright. The way Logan puts it, if you’ve met him: it wouldn’t be quite the passion if everyone had such an interest in it?” Already trying to bleach her imagination with other thoughts, Joyce nodded with a chuckle. Now she was about to get it dirty all over again, most likely. “Okay, you have the floor,” or the table, “what are you here to promote?” Isabelle reared her head back with playful offense. “Don’t make me out to be some kind of villain!” “Sorry, sorry,” Joyce chuckled, almost genuinely, “I just don’t want you to have to take up any more time than you need to?” A curious tilt came from the curly-haired head. “Oh? You say that like you already know what I’m going to talk about?” Joyce shrugged, feeling her prospects of the night already dwindling. “True, I don’t, but… Well, nothing I guess has quite piqued my interest here just yet.” “Not even if I wanted to show you my tail?” The comment was brazen and bold, and not but a second later Joyce was blushing uncomfortably. Isabelle was all pearly whites and laughter then. “O-Okay…” Joyce stammered, looking somewhat professional again. “I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions… So what do you have?” “Não-não!” she tutted with energy, stalling precisely because she seemed so in the moment, trying to savor every bit of it. “I’m not as heartless as you might think I am! Tell me first! Why are you here tonight?” “Why am I here?” Since when did a potential investor have to give their life story? But she didn’t object. “I…came because a friend invited me.” “So you came because you were only invited?” “No…well, yes, sort of.” Isabelle nodded, but her curious and discerning look just wouldn’t leave. “So you came to something like this just for a friend?” “...Yes?” She expected it to end at that. However, “I don’t believe you.” “Sorry?” Didn’t believe her? For coming just for a friend? “You have a look, Joyce?” A look? Didn’t everyone have a look? After all, people needed faces, and faces did looking all the time? “I…” and yet she knew exactly what the woman meant. “I don’t know what you mean…?” “That!” she pointed with a noise of joy and Joyce shuffled uncomfortably. “That look! The look when you’re hiding something!” “I don’t have anything to hide…” “You’re right, you don’t? So why don’t you tell me why you’re here?” Was this therapy or a business proposal? Had it been any other person she’d be walking away right now. But she was sitting. Damn, Isabelle was crafty. But in reality, Joyce didn’t know why she was still sitting there. Maybe not to cause a scene? “I’m here to invest…” “Invest in what, though? Not animal tails?” “Yes, not animal tails…” Yet another unpleasant reminder. “Ou– I’m bothering you, I can see that,” Isbaelle apologized, per se, but her face did not falter nor did her determination change. “I’m not trying to be a life coach or anything– I just mean to start off on the right foot?” “Well…” Joyce with nothing but mixed feelings sighed, “it doesn’t seem like it’s going very well…” Yet her less than enthused comment had no effect. “Maybe not?” the stranger admitted, laughing without a care. At this point their small discussion was feeling like an interrogation session. No wonder this woman wasn’t getting any bites, and this shark too had no intentions either. “Can I guess?” “Guess what?” Joyce frowned. “Your thing? Why you’re here?” Thankfully the crowd was noisy enough to mask the small click of her tongue. “I told you, I’m here for a friend–!” “Is it bondage?” Such a daring question which would have had Joyce falling over had she not been sitting. “N-no! What are you talking about? I don’t have a thing for–” “Pets? Do you like big puppies and kitties?” The crease between her brows that sloped up to the ceiling was beginning to form while she tried to look anywhere but the woman’s piercing gaze. “Th-this is ridiculous…” If Joyce could feel this vulnerable and bothered, she could only imagine the puddle of liquid Emily would be under the same kind of duress…! “Oh?” and like she struck gold, “You do? Well, that changes things a bit, but I–” “No!” Joyce stressed in an outburst, enough to actually garner some looks. She didn’t look back, but immediately set her back against the booth seat again, much more quiet now. “I’m not into any of that…” “But something?” “...But nothing.” And it was like her words had no effect. Unless it was the true answer, the one Isabelle somehow knew existed deep down in Joyce’s flustered heart, she was only going to keep digging, and Joyce just kept sitting. Twenty questions somehow ensued. “Roleplay?” “No.” “Another person?” Emily? She knew? “N-no.” “So it is! Then is it–” “N-no! I said it doesn’t!” “But you’re saying it?” And Joyce’s cold sweat only intensified. How to admit to having a fetish without admitting to it… Shit! Isabelle kept on going, on an un-ending, joyful assault. Curiosity fired from her mouth like a relentless lazer and Joyce’s fragile mind was at the seams with trying to protect her most vulnerable secret. “So it does involve someone else…” the interrogator passively mused and Joyce was losing her voice. Then a lightbulb went off. A flash of blinding light that hit before the Brazilian bomb sent her shockwave. “Are you a…domme?” Or maybe not. A total miss. Joyce’s inner monologue sighed with relief. More than happy to answer, with a tinge of confidence she promptly replied, “Nope.” “Oh wait, you’re new to this, aren’t you? A gentle domme?” No sparks were flying yet. “A mommy?” The crowd must have screamed in collective horror. All Joyce could hear was the deafening crash. Shattering glass, crumbling brick and groaning mental infrastructure. Fire alarms were sounding and all she could hear was pure chaos with eyes wide as saucers. Too stunned to move from the shock, her peripherals tried to survey the damage of the restaurant. Yet there wasn’t any. No one was screaming, people were chatting. Windows were whole, lights still worked and there wasn’t a single flame to be seen. No one was the wiser to the absolute mess Joyce was certain she had heard and seen. All for but a flash. All in her mind. Her precious psyche with a hole gaping wide from the fracture this woman had dealt to it. All just to see what was inside. Her teeth were cemented together yet her lip trembled. Barely anything. Joyce had said nearly nothing and it got her like this. To a point like this…! She said nothing in return but she didn’t need to. Her look of embarrassed surprise told more than enough. She waited for the party-like laughter Isabelle had been touting this entire evening to Joyce and likely others. Her relaxed, go-with-the-flow atmosphere washing through Joyce’s confidence and composure like a typhoon. But with her fist left vulnerable on the table, she felt the jolt of electricity once Isabelle touched it. She’d been had. Discovered. Found out. Again. Again and again. Her most important secret that could hardly be kept from anyone…! And in all this time to think to herself, lament and quiver from the reveal; awaiting the ridicule from someone who just simply didn’t understand. Someone who couldn’t even fathom a modicum of how precious it was, how much it mattered. From a know-it-all that just had to–! For the first time that night, an honest voice that wasn’t doped on energy came from Isabelle. “Sorry, I think I overstepped my bounds a little?” No laughing. None? Hurriedly Joyce retracted her hand. She was already looking for a way out. Where was Carol? “Joyce?” Feeling like her heart was going to pop out of her chest, Joyce looked at the woman one more time, regretfully so. And immediately in spite she spoke. “What? Are you happy? You figured it out. Good for you.” “Joyce– No, I’m sorry, I was a little excited… It’s because–” “No.” Finally with enough conscience to leave, Joyce stood from her seat in a moment of confused rage. For a split second she was ready to crumble, had Isabelle been ready to attack. Her loss, now that Joyce’s psyche was intact. Isabelle was standing up in a hurry to catch her, but Joyce was already storming off. She walked with one purpose and one only. Forget waiting for Carol; she was leaving on her own. This was a mistake. A dumb, stupid mistake. What was she thinking? What was she hoping for? Whatever it was, this certainly wasn’t it. All she found was a bunch of weird proposals and a bully to boot. Stupid. So stupid! Isabelle got as far as halfway before the crowd between them simply did not permit. With an angry text rushed with one hand Joyce descended the steps of a place she would never be seeing again. Christ, an entire fucking state she’d pay the pilot just to not fly over. Keeping her words simple and prompt, letting Carol know that she left early, it was a brisk, lonely walk along the brick-laid path as she scheduled some kind of ride back to the hotel. Stupid! So fucking stupid! And before she stuffed her phone back in her handbag, a new horror swept her over a thousand times over from a mere glance at her screen. MISSED CALL: EMILY (4) Multiple missed text messages. Where r u? Pick up!!! need to talk. Please! im gonna go buy ice cream if you don’t text back!!! Since when? Emily had been trying to reach her this whole time? Forget the restaurant. Forget that woman. This was a whole new grief that swallowed any other issue like an abyss. Forgetting to call Emily. Not texting her back. A long exhale left her nose, stricken with worry now for what was back at home. A place she wanted to be more than anything now. And she did want to call right then; drop everything just to do it. But she was upset. Frustrated. So many complex and difficult emotions she didn’t want Emily trying to deal with. Not wanting her to worry. She would be fine and she knew it, but if it wasn’t such a horrible feeling. Barely as an afterthought there was something from Sheila as well. Work, undoubtedly. But she allowed herself to feel selfish on that front just for the night, wanting nothing more than to get back to the hotel, call Emily, then sleep early just to get home even faster. What a night. What an experience. What a mistake.