ItsCordell

Really? 1/3 to 1/4 of all patients? That seems like an awfully high percentage. Do you work in an ER? Curious mostly, I’ve got no evidence or experience to contradict...

I do this as well. Plastic grocery bags with a diaper wrapped in a second bag inside. Then I have an extra for disposal after I’m done. Less obvious than a backpack and then I don’t have anything to carry around after a change.

Of course condoms would protect from that. But I’m sure many people have unprotected anal sex and I wondered if that posed a UTI risk to the penetrating partner... Did you ever get a diagnosis for your bladder problems?

Thanks, yeah, they didn’t do that on me because they had recent (from an unrelated issue) imagery on file from a CT scan that shows my prostate is normal sized, etc. also, I had a scope inside the bladder to check for cancer or stones or whatever and it was totally normal Haha [emoji23] that’s part of why I’m so embarrassed about accidentally causing the UTI - there aren’t other obvious causes in my case other than something like a STD or whatever. I actually wondered, does the risk of UTI rise for males who have anal sex (as the one penetrating). That would seem to make some sense. It’s not an activity I participate in right now, but I wondered if that could be a reasonable excuse that wouldn’t draw more attention...

Right, I’ve heard that it’s rare in young males - and usually due to an anatomical abnormality, cancer, or some major neurological issue. I have none of those other issues as far as I know - although my overactive bladder is unexplained heretofore. Is OAB a cause of UTI in males? I wonder

So as the title says, I was goofing around with a straight catheter because I was curious: practicing putting it in (I have a penis), feeling how to do it without pain, watching as it entered the bladder and begins to drain, etc. like I said, I was curious and just wanting to experiment. Well, I ended up apparently pushing a little too hard one time and had some blood in my urine. A couple of days later, my urgency became crazy crazy and painful - and frequency became like every 10 minutes. The bleeding increased to where I was passing small clots (smaller than a fingernail size). Anyways, I went and got urine tested, and got on some antibiotics. Cultured for e Coli. The doc didn’t ask how I got it. And I didn’t surrender the truth that I gave it to myself. I was very embarrassed because as a under-40 male, I understand it’s very rare for people like me. I felt guilty and stupid. Do you think the doc suspected anything like this? Are there other reasons besides being an idiot that a young man like me would get these? Is over active bladder or urgency a risk factor for uti in men? Thanks

Oh that’s interesting, so if clothes are going to come off, it’s more likely to happen once at the hospital?

For those who are emts or paramedics or firemen/women, etc. how frequently do you encounter people in diapers? What do they tend to be like (old/young/poor/rich/genders/races)? Have you ever cut clothing off say, a trauma victim, to find a diaper or other pad underneath? What do you assume? How do you react? Is it common for emergency personnel to laugh about these things? In what situations is it appropriate to cut off clothes? What would you say to hospital staff about things like this? What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen on a call? Weirder than diapers? Are you required to be confidential - like follow HIPA just like any other medical Person? Thanks for sharing your experiences - I’m just curious after a recent car wreck where I was wearing a pad - but did not go to the hospital or anything.

An update... Oops, jumped the gun. I had my consult with the specialist. I ended up running late so I couldn’t stop on the long drive from my town to the hospital (5+ hrs) - I wore a BetterDry which is typical for me while traveling, and because I didn’t stop, it was quite wet when I got to the hospital. I changed in a private bathroom, wiped off to get as little odor as possible, and then put on a pull up. (I’ve been dabbling with this new brand from NorthShore, Allyne?, they are very impressive actually) Anyways, I was shocked during my visit, but it didn’t even come up. The doc didn’t ask about if I was using pads or how many or whatever. Didn’t say a word. They did do a residual urine check on my bladder - and the nurse saw the top of the pull-up when she did that scan. She didn’t say anything about it and neither did I. More or less, I felt pretty dismissed. I was admittedly trying to get clarity on an underlying cause - and the doc essentially said that we don’t know what make people have OAB and that there was nothing life threatening happening to me. That was disappointing but also relieving if you know what I mean. Strangely, for the first time in my life actually, I distinctly got the feeling that the doctor and nurse were laughing st me. The physician kept kind of smirking st me in the exam room and kind of laughing under his breath and kind of cracking awkward jokes. When I left I felt very very judged - and like they thought I was an odd duck for wearing the pull-up - and maybe even suspected me of being a fetishist. It was not a happy feeling I left with. It could be in my head but I’m usually pretty intuitive about these things. Anyways, the long and the short of it is that wearing a pull-up was either a non issue or it was a source of being laughed at and not taken seriously.

Thank you all for your replies. I’m sorry if this is a dead horse that I keep one beating, lol, I’m just anxious about it and I want to be sure to be respectful. Can you tell me what a normal, NON-DL person, who has newly developed incontinence would wear with a diaper/pull-up (especially when they are first starting to use those things)? Do people who are not DL tend to wear underwear over the top of those items, or just to wear it under pants/shorts like normal underwear? I’m pretty much resigned that I need to wear protection to the doctor. For the past 2 weeks or so, I’ve been wearing pads at minimum at all times, and for any circumstance where I dont know about the bathroom situation, I’m wearing a pull-up, or even a diaper depending. So I dont’ think its misleading or any kind of fetishizing thing at this point. Now I’m just confused about what is normal for someone who is not DL. Obviously, I like diapers and normally prefer to not have underwear over them at all — and I think that they work better without. But I also dont’ want to seem to eager/weird if that is unusual for newly incontinent folks. Thanks for your continued advice!! Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Right, I get that. I’m just curious to hear people’s actual experiences. What have you had them say? Has it been unpleasant, uneventful, totally normal, confrontational? Reading on some of these boards, to me it seems like it comes across that many people who have chosen to live with diapers and forego invasive treatments - or give up on them after trying - have faced ridicule or weird treatment about their choice. I’m just wondering if that’s the outlier or the norm for people’s experiences - especially at first. I am admittedly new to all this. And while I feel like I’m coping ok, i want to make sure I’m not dying or anything... Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Thanks, this will be me getting a second opinion. I’m definitely trying to get my symptoms checked out - to find out if there is some underlying cause that is really bad. That’s what I’m the most scared of. As a DL, it’s not the end of the world to me to have to use absorbent products to cope, but I know that incontinence often is a symptom of very serious medical issues. I want to get that treated and checked out. Not to worry. Your experiences are helpful to me. Did your doctor ask you if you were wearing a diaper? How did he/she know? Did you have to disrobe, etc? Was it part of an intake questionnaire? Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Thanks, yep. You say it in an interesting way. But yeah, you’re kind of right. In this instance, I DONT want the holistic piece because I’m afraid that bit of information (me being DL) will end up getting me written off or having worse care. Perhaps if I came to trust the doc after a long period of time...maybe...but for the most part I dont want that kind of attention. Hopefully you’re right. In your experience, did the urologist on first visit ask directly about your using pads/diapers/etc? Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

During your intake exam or first appointment with urologists, what did they ask about your diaper/protection usage? What did you tell them? Did they discover after having asked you to disrobe? Did a nurse ask you? Did a nurse see it after having asked you to disrobe or after using a ultrasound device on your bladder to check residual? *What was the conversation like? I’ve heard a lot of “horror” stories of judgmental reactions, etc. Did it seem like it was normal for them to have a patient using absorbent products? What did they say about it? I appreciate your advice on my previous thread about my OAB and worries about what to wear to a second opinion urologist, my DL side, moral limits, etc. Since then, I’ve been relying increasingly on pads (male guards) and pull-ups, but also sometimes diapers in certain settings. In the past month, I’ve had 2 incidents where my bladder emptied completely while I was in public, both times it felt like it was a tiny leak and my bladder just kept pushing apparently. Both times I was just wearing a pad and my pants ended up soaked. Since then, I’ve been a little more aggressive with protection that would cover me in the event of a rapid empty while in public. I’ve had numerous episodes like this while exercising over the last year, but I don’t care nearly as much in these situations because I’m already soaked with sweat and out on the road or sidewalk not in super public places. Anyways, I’m just trying to prep myself for what might be asked, how they might react, what they might say, and what NORMAL is for non-DL people who have these kinds of problems. I really do not feel comfortable revealing my DL side to This doctor because I think it will lead him/her to not take my symptoms seriously. Thanks for sharing your experiences.

Yes I’ve had one cystoscopy and the finding was negative for any growth or cancer or malformation. I have another appointment once again soon with a little higher level urologist at s medical school. Hoping to verify that indeed, I am not dying, and to get a more definitive diagnosis.

Over the past few weeks my daytime symptoms have been getting worse. My urgency is more often and more intense. I think I’ve pretty well decided to wear a pull up that day, at least. Both for fear of leaking in the office and Also to make clear to communicate how serious my problem is. I’m not sure how exciting this might feel anymore - it is much more of a drag as time goes on.

I have been finding that the intervals between spasms are going down if anything. I typically can last an hour, but sometimes it’s just 15 minutes apart and I get these intense urges — then hardly anything even comes out even though it feels like I have a full bladder to empty. I’ve essentially been wearing pads in my underwear non stop for the last couple weeks - and when I’m going out where I don’t know about access to a bathroom, either pull-ups or even diapers. It’s consuming s lot of my thought and attention. This is no fun. I think for me anxiety and stress increase the symptoms - and the anxiety about having an accident increase The symptoms even more.

At Walmart ? Never seen that brand there, what country are you in?

I’ve been experiencing symptoms of urgency and frequency (12-18x/day) along with incontinence episodes especially at night but also some during the day — all over the past 6 to 12 months or so. So far, my doctors haven’t been able to tell me anything definitive about the cause; but as you might’ve read in another thread (Doctor Visit https://r.tapatalk.com/shareLink?share_fid=29464&share_tid=64528&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Edailydiapers%2Ecom%2Fboard%2Findex%2Ephp%3F%2Ftopic%2F64528-Doctor-Visit&share_type=t. - https://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.php?/topic/64528-doctor-visit/), I do have an upcoming appointment for a higher-level urologist. Anyways, this past week, I had a new experience for me. Over the past several months, the times in which I’ve had leakage almost always have occurred when I couldn’t get to a bathroom in time, or when it started to come out just as I was getting to the toilet. I would be in conversation or in a work meeting or whatever and not able to get away and...INTENSE URGE...leak... Or I’d be driving down the road and not able to find anywhere to stop...INTENSE URGE...shift around...squeeze squeeze squeeze...flood. This time, I was in a phone call meeting for work. It was a video chat; actually a job interview if you believe it. I had a pad on which I’ve been wearing almost all day every day for the past couple weeks. These I’ve found to be super useful for taking off a little bit of the pressure when the intense urges come and I cant in that moment get to the bathroom. Anyways, an urge came about 40 minutes into the 70 minute meeting and I started my usual shifting from cheek to cheek routine, squeezing, tightening, legal... And then I let a little bit out in hopes of it tiding me over to the end of the meeting. It lasted 5 minutes before the same pain was back 10x over. I did it again...same thing... but just before the meeting ended, my bladder just spasmed and wouldn’t quit. No matter how hard I squeezed my muscles, my bladder just forced everything out and I was totally soaked. Luckily, this all happened under the table and other than perhaps looking a little worried/upset/distracted on camera (I actually think i kept a pretty good poker face), I dont’ think they noticed anything at all. The funny thing about it is that if I weren’t in that interview, I could have easily made it to the toilet like I usually do. It was because I was functionally unable to get up because of the meeting... I pretty much have the experience of only being able to hold it for 60 minutes or so and if I can’t get to the bathroom in that window, I’m going to be very upset, in a lot of pain, and eventually, leaking. Anyways, is this experience relatable for any of you? Did you move from intense urges that you could hold, to “intentionally” leaking a tiny bit at a time to release urgency, to having incidents where you couldn’t hold it back? I found it very strange, but strangely not terribly distressing. Weird. I mean, I felt more compassion for myself if anything. Like...almost as though my symptoms and temporary diagnosis of OAB is actually warranted... More than anything, it feels like it’s pointing to me like everything is still going in the wrong direction with regards to my symptoms. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Thanks, yes probably so This is kind of my M.O. — overthinking. As it turns out, over the past few days I’ve been experimenting with men’s pads for bladder leakage and I’ve found them to be incredibly useful. When I get these really intense urges and I’m in the middle of a conversation or a meeting or something else where it would be rude or embarrassing to immediately run away, the pads have proven very useful. Instead of crossing my legs or focusing all my attention on flexing my muscles and holding back the flood, I can let a little out with the first urges and that usually will buy me in the neighborhood of 5-20min depending, until the same thing happens again. I’m not sure if you’d technically call this incontinence since I’m aware of and technically allowing the leakage. But I’d be in the bathroom all day long otherwise. Anyways, I’m still not sure about what I’ll do with the doctor visit. It’s still several weeks away anyways; and at present, my symptoms seem to be worsening little by little over the past days/weeks. With all that being said, I’m still not clear or sorted out on the excitement/thrill side of it. I remember the first time I had to wear a diaper in the hospital, I was SO SO embarrassed about it and did everything I could to avoid having any of the staff see it. One time a nurse came to check my abdomen and as she was pulling down the sheet, I quickly pushed down my shorts and diapers to the foot of the bed as this knee-jerk reaction to hide them. In that situation, I definitely wasn’t feeling the “Excitement” of wearing. Sent from my iPad using TapatalkOne other side concern I have in this is that if I were to wear an actual diaper - and obviously I have some need that is in the ballpark somewhere - I’m terrified of getting aroused because of the excitement piece of it for me. Obviously, arousal is at least partially controlled by our brains, but also can sometimes happen against our will. I’m afraid of judgment/awkwardness or even consequences (getting kicked out of the clinic or something crazy) if that were to happen. I mean, that context is not sexual or anything; and obviously nothing sexual would be happening. But because diapers are a fetish for me, I always kind of have this underlying charge even though I’d not experienced arousal while wearing them on a regular basis for years. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Thanks so much, this is very helpful. I really appreciate you taking the time to go around and around with me If is kind of funny how I change out of diapers to be in certain situations like that — its always/typically about stress or the worry of being found out. Take today for example, I was at a work seminar thing for part of the day and since I was going to be around people all day, I decided to forgo a diaper. I was in a situation where bathrooms were always close. But because I’m so frequent in need of a toilet, I ended up having to (a) either break off conversations kind of awkwardly to run away to a bathroom or ( stand and talk and not be “present” for the conversation because i was focusing on squeezing my bladder so I wouldn’t leak or have an accident right there. It would have been far less stressful to be able to wear a high quality diaper and just let it go so I could be present. That doesn’t technically quality as incontinence per se. But at what point does it become that when you have to run to the bathroom and constantly excuse yourself every 45 or 60 minutes? Your analogy with TG/crossdressing seems quite apt. You didn’t realize how much of a “need” it was for you at the time perhaps... I wonder to myself how much extra confidence and “calm” that came to you once you just relaxed into it. ? I guess part of my problem is that I live in a small town and kind of have a prominent job - secrecy has been my friend all along and as long as I continue in the work I’m in, I’ll probably have to keep that charade up. That might be partly why I had the idea of wearing to this doctor...unlike seeing other doctors in my small town...its in a big city a long way away and so I’ll be anonymous (other than being tracked on my medical records). I was thinking about perhaps trying to find some kind of compromise...perhaps wearing a men’s guard to the clinic instead of the diaper I will wear for the car ride — or maybe even a very thin set of pull-up type diapers — because those, to me, seem like the solution a “normal” non DL person with my issues would choose. That feels less scary, also provides some protection, and hopefully not pushing anything of a fetish on anyone... Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Thanks for the suggestion :) Always love to connect with fellow overthinkers haha :) which staff do you have in mind with your suggestion? The nurse once I’m in an exam room? Would seem strange to me to ask this of desk staff...maybe in different language... “Where is the closest bathroom or somewhere I can change?” I definitely think this is true regardless of what I do - it’ll certainly become more clear about expectations and this specific doctor’s attitude and what not. Also - if the closest bathroom turns out to be 2 floors away, that will settle a lot for me. This is kind of exactly what I’m trying to figure out. I want to be respectful of the fetish piece because it is certainly there - but I also have some medical stuff going on and at least some degree of “need”. At what point is rushing around at a clinic trying to find a bathroom to change out of (and then back into) the diapers I actually need, in order to not expose them, just ridiculous and over-sensitive on my part? I’d rather just be confident in my self one way or another - whether it’s wearing to the appointment or not wearing. This second guessing everything is too stressful.

Good advice, thanks. This is pretty much where I live. And I really only wear them either when I need them or when I’m alone and in private. This situation arose as complicated in my mind because for the drive to the clinic, 6hrs, I will be dispered because otherwise I might have an accident in my pants trying to find a bathroom along the interstate urgently. Normally, I would change out of it once getting to the clinic - which makes sense. But I had thought about just staying in it since it would be a novel experience, and maybe, maybe, be taken more seriously about my problems. But technically, as you say, I don’t think I’ll NEED it at that point. Lol you’re right about me overthinking it! i agree with you to a certain point. This urologist is in a large city and sees tons of people - I’m sure he’s encountered fetishists before. I don’t want to go in there wearing a diaper, something my experience tells me is an extreme last resort solution for someone with a major problem - not someone like me who might have significant leakage episodes a couple times a month (or at night). I wouldn’t want to jeopardize my care because the doctor judges that I’m only there for the thrill of it because of the diaper. With that being said, like I wrote above, I also feel like it might be possible that wearing a diaper will lead him to take me more seriously - understanding that for me, I’m so distressed about my issue that I would go to extremes of wearing s diaper. Of course, for me, the diaper might overkill if I weren’t a DL (but I definitely need them overnight) - the only times I have had my bladder completely empty while out have been while exercising. For this particular moment, the most likely leakage would be after a super urgent episode and having it start to come out before I’m at a toilet. More of them than not, I’ve had a wet spot on my pants or underwear, but not a flood. I have a hard time imagining my mom DL peers wearing a diaper for this kind of thing but idk, maybe we all just keep it s secret.

Hi, thanks all for the replies. You're right, I'm not terribly worried who would see me per se. But because I'm going not anonymously, but as an actual patient, with actual problems...I'm worried about the consequences to my actual medical condition from making that choice. The likelihood of me making a mess on the floor is extremely low. So low that I believe it's 0%. It's never happened before, haha I honestly think it's a little of both. That's kind of why I ask. I do frequently wear diapers while traveling and when I know I'll be out and about and don't knwo what the bathroom situation will be. Tha'ts normal behavior for me. But I do have to admit that I'd find it a thrill. That's the honest truth. It wont' be the first time I've had a diaper in front of medical peopel; I've had hospital stays before when I was going through bedwetting and had to wear them. So IDK why the thought of it makes me feel like it might be thrilling. I have a similar reaction though. It feels like a red flag. Right, that's kind of my worry. I really am looking for a real solution to a real problem. I dont' want to screw it up. On the other hand, I have been dismissed before by multiple urologists (not wearing a diaper) who essentially didn't take me seriously. I feel like it's possible that going in teh room without having taken off my travel diaper from the drive, I might demonstrate to him that i do indeed have a real issue that needs to be taken seriously. I'm not sure. But I agree with your line of thought. Right, that's the crux of it. In the end, I'm not sure I'll really NEED one while in the doc office. There will be bathrooms right nearby, very close, I'm sure, without doubt. And I can hold it for at least 10 minutes in almost all situations at this point - even with a severe urge. I agree with all this too. I'm not sure though what to do. In all my previous interactions where I talk about diapers with professional people, I have never called them diapers, totally agree. I've called them "disposable underwear" or "disposable brief" or "pads" etc... I imagine I'd actualyl wear a thin light-erweight cloth-backed diaper into the appointment (something you might get in a pharmacy store) if I wore a diaper at all. Anyways, thanks for your feedback -- and please, anyone else with more thoughts, share.

Hi, I have lurked for a long time. But I decided to make an account to ask your opinions. I have had OAB with infrequent (1-2x month) urge incontinence episodes, very frequent night incontinence, and frequency/urgency all day every day. I’m also a DL. I have found that the anxiety of NEEDING diapers doesn’t bring the same relaxation and coping that using them purely for enjoyment does. Having urinary problems feels stressful most of the time - and im fairly sure that my issues are exacerbated by stress. I typically don’t need or wear pads or diapers during the day because when an urge comes, I usually have at least 10 minutes to find a toilet before things get dire. However, when I am traveling or when I know I will be in a unfamiliar situation, or when I am very stressed, I will often wear a diaper “just in case”. These have been very useful in those situations. So now, here’s my question. I’m still trying to figure out what is causing my symptoms - and I’m going to be seeing another urology specialist in a big medical center in a nearby metropolis. The goal is to get a second opinion, find better treatment options. Anyways, because it is a 5 or 6 Hour drive away, I will naturally wear a diaper for the trip. normally, I would change out of the diaper before the appointment because by the time you get to any clinic, there are plenty of bathrooms nearby. Anyways, I’ve recently got this desire in my head to just leave the diaper on for the appointment. I feel like it might be exciting. But I feel guilty about the thought because it’d be unusual for me and really not technically necessary. I’m 100% positive I can make it through the appointment without any problems, and I’ve excused myself multiple times in the past during doctors appointments to go to the bathroom when an urge struck. I mean, it would be less annoying to not have to run out, but that certainly doesn’t necessitate a diaper for anyone else who has these issues but is not DL. Anyways, what do you think? Would it be wrong/inappropriate/misleading to do wear a diaper to my appointment given my circumstances? I don’t want to push the fetish side of me on people - but I do have a Genuine issue as well. Thanks for your advice