Wet Tony

I wet the bed almost every night due to the progession of my OAB. I don’t wear a diaper to bed by choice—I can’t get comfortable, so I toss & turn, and night time erections are quite frankly painful when the equipment is constrained. I am so accustomed to the wetness and pee-smell that a clean, dry bed feels strange.

I developed OAB due to a prostate condition I ignored for too long. (Not cancer, thank goodness!) I went through the typical grieving phases of denial and bargaining. (if I go before I leave and again as soon as I get there I’ll be ok; it will be a short meeting; I haven’t had that much to drink so I’ll be fine; the urologist says this *should* be temporary) I had a few too many pants-wetting experiences to pretend the problem wasn’t real. I relied for too long on pull-ups that were simply inadquate for more than one medium bladder release. Deciding to wear a good diaper whenever I leave the house has meant I can just get on with my life without worry or needing to constantly pay attention to my bladder.

I can relate to much of what you describe. For me it began about 3+ years ago when I occasionally had some post-void dribbling. Waking up in the night and needing to go started happening on a regular basis too. About 2 years ago I started to have trouble after holding for a long time (stuck in a meeting or in traffic) when I finally got to a toilet it would take several minutes to get the flow started, or it would start and stop several times before my bladder was empty. Sometimes even after being sure I was finished, tucked in and zipped, the occasional dribble might be more than just drips! I had the same trouble at night, taking sometimes 5-10 minutes before getting back to bed. In the last year or so the frequency during the day has increased to every 30-60 minutes, and the time between feeling the urge and can’t hold-any-longer keeps getting shorter. I don’t seem to have any trouble getting the flow started anymore. In fact, in spite of heroic efforts to hold, I begin leaking within a few minutes if not seconds after the initial urge. A few times I have gotten no warning at all...feeling nothing until I feel dampness after having leaked, or that I’m actively peeing. At night I can rarely make it to the bathroom in time. I start wetting as soon as I wake up, and a few times I’ve awakened mid-wetting. As of 6 months ago when I last saw my doctor, (a men’s health specialist) he can’t find any cause other than enlarged prostate, which he says is still within “typical” range for my age. No infection, no blockage, no nerve damage. He was totally up front about treatment options and their side effects, and left it up to me to make the “quality of life” decision. I would rather deal with moderate incontinence than risk erectile dysfunction or a plethora of other problems. I am not an AB and not really DL either, but my spouse and I share a bit of a pee fetish which makes this situation not entirely burdensome.

I am weighing options at this point. I’m very goal oriented and a self-learner so the 12 month program, or what SoCal is offering, or some combination of the two have been my choice, but I appreciate the value of coaching so much that I’m torn. Considering how much money I’m going to spend on diapers for the rest of my life, the cost of this guy’s services is a bargain.

Thank you, everyone, for your contributions to this discussion. I’m new to dd by the way. Hi! The two points which resonate most deeply with my experience have to do with the requirement to conform, and voluntary loss of control in order to achieve equilibrium. I had the good fortune to be raised in a loving home albeit with strict behavioral expectations. I was “adulting” before I hit puberty...no excuses. A pee fetish arose in sexual explorations as a young adult, and years later was the corner of the universe where I met my husband. I have dabbled with diaper play over the years and that is where I first discovered the idea of voluntary incontinence. Pants wetting and bedwetting has gone from a “dirty little secret” kind of sexual play to something deeper; hinting at something much more foundational to primary identity. Alongside that, incontinence has gone from fantasy to casual consideration to serious investigation to finally emerging as core to identity and self-actualization, which is what brings me here now. An inevitable part of reaching my age-range is the slow revelation of prostate enlargement. In the last couple years I have begun to experience more and more leaking/dribbling, and frequent episodes of bladder urgency. My doctor is convinced there is nothing of concern at this point, and suggests that if it is troublesome, to use pads or absorbant briefs. Accepting this “new normal” is the final impetus I needed to finally pursue becoming incontinent for real. Losing control over this part of my life, when I have always been the one fully in charge with everything under control is going to give me the stabilizing balance I have needed for so long. I am determined now, and filled with peace to do what I must and live-into this calling at the core of my being.