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  1. Chapter 10 I managed to convince mom to let me retrieve to the bathroom as I was and I was hoping I would be able to somehow take control of the situation . Things weren't on my side though , first of all I had to use Beaty and joes bathroom as that was closer to the front door and mom didn't want me to go across the house , saying whatever I'd need she could grab . Of course I couldn't have risked that and it started to dawn on me that if Chris would be here things be a lot easier to manage. But he wasn't set to be back for hours yet . Second of all , no matter how hard I tried to make as little mess as possible as I peeled of my clothes everything smeared . The floor, the toilet . I still wasn't sure if my bowels have completely emptied so I tried to give myself some time sitting on the toilet , in case anything was left to come out and I was trying to control my growing panic and make a plan how to get out without them discovering this wasn't the only accident I had. I already felt in the car that alongside my bowels my bladder had given out too and my protection was caked with pee and shit . No better way to paint that picture though I doubt anyone would want to have that picture in their head. I still didn't make any sort of a plan when I heard Beaty and haleys voices . I knew instinctivly that it will only make my situation worse . But I couldn't have imagined how much worse. As Haley complained she had to go potty I heard mom ask Beaty to take her to the other bathroom as I was in theirs . Beaty probably wasn't happy about the situation and wanted some sort of explanation as I heard Britney's voice pipe up - cause he had a accident in his pants and didn't make it to the potty - I felt myself go hot just hearing that - You have got to be kidding me - I could clearly hear the irritation in beatys voice - I can not catch a break ! I already have 2 kids who can't seem to get the hang of potty training now he decides to join in ?! - It's not like it was on propose sweetheart , it's probably just the food - mom tried to calm her - I m still going to be the one to have to clean it up - I made a mental note to try to clean everything sparkling somehow I just still didn't know how as I had no idea how to get out of the mess I was in - The car needs to be taken to the car cleaners too - I heard isaacs voice I was at lost. I had no idea how to get my messy clothes out or the mess out of the clothes for starters . - oh dear god - I wasn't sure if she meant the smell which I had to admit was awful or the general state of the bathroom having poop smeared on the toilet and on the floor where my pants shoes and socks were in a heap . - hey ! You can't ... Just ... Just come in here - I didn't know what to do but try to cover myself up as much as I could . I just knew I had to get her out. Of course that wasn't going to happen. - well someone has to clean up here and knowing you , it's not going to be you . You are excellent at getting into a mess - she shot me a degrading look as she opened the bathtub taps and started filling the tub - literally . But not getting out of one . she was right , spot on right about that . Especially as my situation was about to get worse . A lot worse . She started emptying the pockets of my clothes and throwing them into the tub which was bubbling with soap I tried stopping her and saying I will do it but she completely ignored me. - what is this ?! - I froze . I knew that she found the absorbant underwear - what the hell is this ?! I couldn't come up with a single excuse or explanation . Beaty seemed furious . - mom ! Mom ! MOM! Get in here now !!! - as if this wasn't utterly humiliating enough now there won't be a single person in the family not knowing - sweetheart why are you shouting ?? What happened ?? Beaty showed her my destroyed protection she almost threw into the water. As they both demanded answers I had no choice but to stummer at least part of the truth trying to down play it as much as I could considering I was basically naked but a shit covered t shirt . Beaty didn't seemed convinced while mom seemed utterly concerned , Beaty jumped up and left the room. I knew nothing good could come out of that . And I was right . In less than a minute she was back with the packages hidden in my closet held as evidence . I knew that I lost the battle. My secret was out. There was nothing I could do. My troath felt like it had a giant lump preventing me from speaking and I was way too embarrassed to look them in the eyes. especially mom , who kept asking me how could have I not told her . - he lied to you and to all of us what else is new ?! Just proves my point that I been right all along he isn't more mature than the girls are. - Beaty showered my pants spraying water all over - god damn it.! - She threw the pants into a plastic basin - well not all of us actually Chris knew - I could see moms expression of disbelief - oh come own ! He was staying in his house and here they are sharing a room for crying out loud ! Chris isn't stupid or maybe he is why else would he go cahoots with this ?! But he has definetly had to see this mess or something similar . i felt beyond awful knowing that now I have dragged Chris into it too. I could tell mom wanted to defend Chris , since he wasn't even there to be able to defend himself , though for that matter I was there but I couldn't say anything in my own defense much less Chris's , yet it was clear for her too that Beaty is right Chris has had to know. - take off your shirt I felt my heart pounding. Though the shirt was hardly enough to cover the truth or the mess without it I will be totally exposed. - take off your shirt ! Now ! It's a mess ! Oh don't give me that look, you don't have anything we all haven't seen before. Plus if you are walking around in pullups you are in no position for modesty , off with your shirt like it wasn't enough that now I was completely naked infront of my mother and sister , Beaty also degraded me to a toddlers level by referring to my protection as "pullups" something a toddler would be using . Certainly not someone my age. Beaty seeing that mom seemed too stunned to take any action , rinsed my shirt threw it in the basin and shoved the basin with my wet clothes in it at her and told her she will handle it. - I think I should handle this - mom said but she wasn't convincing. Before , even with dad she could been quite assertive when it came to her children . But I guess something changed since , I know dads death wasn't easy on any of us espcially not mom. - that is precisely the problem- Beaty turned to face mom as she drained the tub and washed it with clear water- you don't handle it! If anything you interfered when dad was trying to handle him and look where that got us ! - Beaty didn't even seem to try to control the volume of her voice - I will handle this ! Mom left the room , and though the door was half closed with the paper thin walls it was sure that everyone in the house heard everything . - get in ! I was so stunned I wasn't even sure if I heard her right - I said get in right now or God help me ! - she pointed at the tub with her eyes sparkling with anger i wanted to object , maybe I should have but I felt so vulnerable I just couldn't . - I can shower by myself - oh really ?! Cause I have a bathroom full of mess and diapers proving that you can't even go to the bathroom by yourself I can't say that in the past months I wasn't bathed by nurses or nurse aids, but that was after my accident in a hopital . And it was still a lot less humiliating and to be honest a lot less forceful than what Beatys idea seemed of bathing me. After she felt she washed me throughly enough , she told me to get out . as I was drying myself I noticed she pulled a diaper out - what are you doing ?! - it was fairly clear what she was doing or intending to yet I couldn't believe it - what does it look like genious ?! Besides this package is half empty so don't tell me you aren't wearing diapers - not not during the the day - I stummered I couldn't even bring myself to say the d word out loud - well not anymore ! Lay down on the towel i shook my head , she couldn't be serous but she was - lay down now or you will be sorry I shook my head again - fine you asked for this ! I m not even sure what or how happened in the next few seconds but by the time I was able to grasp what was happening I was you could say laying over beatys knees as she repeatedly and forcefully lowered her hairbrush onto my backside. She didn't have a very hard time though as height wise we were about the same especially when she wore hills , and in the past year or so she was regularly working out at a gym to regain her prepregnancy figure . The commoction beatys shouting and my cries of pain must have attracted everyone cause as far as I could see through my tears , the smacks were painful no doubt , but I think the tears were mostly of frustration and humiliation , I could make out that mom joe Isaac and the twins well all at the now wide open door. Joe quickly dragged the two wide eyed girls away, who likely won't doubt their mothers threats about spanking ever again or forget the sight of their uncle 6 or 7 times their senior being spanked by their mother. Isaac mumbled something about getting the car cleared, and mom just watched and maybe for the first time didn't rush to my aid. maybe there isn't much aid left to give when your daughter is spanking your but naked 21 years old son with her hairbrush at the full view of the family. I m not sure how long or have many smacks there were before it ended. To me it seemed to last hours . - unless you want more I suggest you lay your but down this time I didn't object , I was trying to swallow back my tears . Beaty pulled up the diaper around my waist fastened the tapes without any hesitation . - normally you would get antirash cream but I think letting you remember what a freshly spanked bottom feels like for as long as it can last will only do you good, now March yourself to your bedroom and don't even think of sassing back to me unless you want another find with the hairbrush I wanted to object to having to walk through the house in nothing but a diaper but it was clear that any objection or even begging at this point would fall on deaf ears. So I had no choice but to walk to my room in nothing but a diaper , passing by mom and joe with the twins who I guess didn't know what to be more amazed by my spanking or the sight of me in diapers . as my pajamas were in our bathroom Beaty pulled out a random shirt and told me to put it on . she told me to get in bed and she will be back later to check on me - and under no circumstances are you allowed to take off change or do anything with that diaper do you understand ?! Only an Adult can do that it was obvious that from this point I was no longer considered an adult . As she was about to shut the door she stopped , took the key out of the door - children don't get to lock their doors - she declared as she kept the room with the key I layed down on the bed pulling the cover over me . I still felt tears on my cheeks but I couldn't let them hear my cry . My stomach felt in a knot and I could only hope I wouldn't have another round of diarrhea , at this point I don't know what would be worse another accident or asking an "adult " to let me use the bathroom . I wasn't even sure they would . Plus the adults for now we're Beaty who put me in this position , mom who didn't try to stop her. Isaac was definetly not an option and neither was joe. That only left Chris , but he wasn't back yet. And I had no way of warning him about everyone knowing he knew what I hid as my phone was left in the bathroom . God why didn't I text him then ... But I m not even sure if he would be on my side anymore . Not after mom and Beaty attacking him , well probably not with a hairbrush , about knowing my secret and not telling them . ( sorry about the spanking scene not being too detailed first time ever writing a scene like that )
  2. Chapter 9 continued - mom I really think that any not long is too long .. Maybe you could pull over - well honey it's really not that much longer so you will just have to hang in there there isn't much option to stop around here but as she was saying those words it was already too late . As much as I willed my spinchter to hang on and stay shut it didn't , I felt the warm loose almost fluid like mess ooze out of me. There was no hiding it . The smell was awful and strong , there was no hiding that . Also no way of hiding that as I suspected my protection failed to contain it. Loose stool was oozing down my legs onto the seat basically smearing everything around me and I was completely helpless to stop it . of course immediately what I have done or what happened as you wish to phrase it , became evident to all the other 3 passengers in the car. i could describe the reactions as total disgust (Isaac) to total shock ( Britney ) I guess mom was less shocked as a mother of 3 she seen and lived it all basically but I definetly could she was taken aback . I knew she would try to contain the situation as much as it was possible but at this point it wasn't really a possibility . i really wished the ground would just swallow me right then and there. Britney as most little children still didn't master the art of keeping honest remarks to herself - I thought big boys and girls don't have accidents in their pants but they go in the potty I couldn't even think of a response . Not to mention if they would know that I tend to not make it to the "potty " an awful lot of times lately ... - well sweetie pie you know even big boys and girls can have accidents when they are sick . So Isaac maybe if you could roll down all the windows and drive a bit faster ...? Isaac murmured something about having to get the car cleaned , as I didn't know where to look. Definetly not at any of them . I felt my neck my face burning with shame and humiliation. Frankly we did reach the house a few minutes later but by then it was beyond too late . mom told me to stay put as she rushed in to get an old towel to " minimize more damage " while Britney demanded more and more agitatedly to be released from her seat and car. I couldn't blame her as the smell was repelling , and I wished I could escape it too but as I was the source I had no chance of that . Isaac stepped out of the car but didn't seemed like he felt it was his place to take any action. mom returned with a towel and told me to take my pants and shoes off and wrap it around myself. Then I really panicked. Taking my pants off would definetly expose what I been trying to hide all this time .
  3. Chapter 9 to my surprise and relief the first week or so went by quite smoothly , I can't say completely uneventful but no one found out. I was selfconscious about wearing and espcially having to put a diaper on in front of Chris . Of course I knew he seen it even put it on me but I wasn't fully aware of it then thanks to the alcohol. However Chris seemed to sense my inconvience without me having to put it into words and tried to give me as much privacy as it was possible so I'd be able to change alone . Putting a diaper on in the bathroom wasn't a good idea from 2 reasons 1 being that it was a shared one with mom and Isaac at best and a few steps from our bedroom and during that short time I could have ran into anyone especially giving that the overnight diaper was a thick one , not possible to discreetly hide like my daytime protection. Second reason was that I couldn't master putting the diaper on standing up , only laying down while that was I guess somehow manageable in the bathroom doing it on the bedroom bed was much more comfortable . disposing them wasn't much easier to manouver but we still managed undetected. i completely underestimated how much all of this had to do with Chris , his planning and executing , him running interference when needed, mapping gas stations and stops when we went somewhere . I didn't realize all that till he had to go back to the city for 1 day for a final audition or closing a role not sure he doesn't tend to talk about job possibilities till he signed a contract . By that time Beaty was on the edge , her and joe fought daily about the girls mostly but other things too. Beaty did most of the shouting so wether we wanted to hear or not we did. In a way it was a good thing for me cause it distracted mom from paying close attention to me. But by now even joe was losing his patience . I guess the last straw for him was Beaty almost actually spanking Britney not just treathing , after she has an accident . Joe claimed in his family these kind of things were rare and reserved for severe occasions , I guess so was in ours with mom and dad. Though mom never spanked me dad however did. Mostly when I acted up or sneaked out. The last time was not too long before he died when I had to move back home after being dismissed from college . Growing up when mom and dad went on vacation dad "empowered" Chris and Beaty to punish me when needed. Beaty used her given authority over me but Chris only went as far as treathing he will but he never did. I don't think he would have. Beaty always told mom the reason I was always in trouble was that she intervened on my behalf rather than letting dad give me a lesson I wouldn't forget . But circling back to the day that changed it all. As I said before Chris was in L.A. , he said he'd drive up early morning and back at night though everyone told him to just stay in town for a night , which normally he would have . He said he didn't want to since it was a family holiday and he felt bad enough leaving as it was. I wasn't concerned with him leaving. It was a week into our vacation "routine " was down and as I already said , I failed to realize how much of it going smoothly was to do with him. So I wasn't more stressed than any other day . the day started as usual. Then to keep joe and Beaty from fighting mom decided it would be nice to go out for a drive and get lunch somewhere . then I did start to to get a little nervous as till now everytime we went out Chris drove, and made sure to stop for me to use a restroom . but that part I did managed to avoid as mom thought it would give Beaty and joe a little break if they had Haley while her Isaac and me drive with Britney . Which meant "potty stops " . breaks I despretly needed. So I thought I was out of the woods as mom was mostly preoccupied with Britney and Isaac and I never had to much to talk about for long periods of time and a week in neither 1 of us was trying. But I figured if I managed to get through the whole 4th of July picnic without any accidents , well major accidents anyone would have noticed, I could get by easily going unnoticed at a short outing without Chris . The problem came after we stopped for Mexican food. I did experience some digestive problems after certain Mexican meals but as I haven't had any in so long and things seemed to go just fine I guess I wasn't being careful. We were already driving back to the house, Isaac was driving while mom was trying to sooth Britney who kept complaining about not getting a prize as she unlike Haley didn't manage to avoid accidents 2 days in a row, when I felt a sudden cramping urge. only this urge didn't originate from my bladder but deep in my colon. Oh no no no , I tried to calm myself and think of something else but anyone who ever had a sudden onset diarrhea knows that's not something you can just ignore. i guess my face reflected what I was feeling cause mom suddenly turned to me - Jonny are you feeling okay ? - to be honest , not really . I don't think tacos was a good idea. - are you gonna be sick ? - by that point I wished it would come out of that end - no but I need to use the bathroom - and soon , really really soon. I never had to estimate wether my protection could hold this type of "accident" but based on what happened at Chris's party with an overstretched bladder I assumed if it couldn't handle the content of a bladder it will most definetly fail at the full content of my colon . And even if by some miracle it would , it would still be one of the most embarrassing events of my life. - well we will be at the house soon honey - how soon is soon ? - I tried to keep my voice from becoming desperate though my situation sure was - I m not sure - mom was not exactly a gps expert - but it's not long I already knew it is too long ... To be continued soon
  4. Chapter 8 ( so in this chapter I will try to move the plot along without losing important scenes I hope it will work) As we left the consultation room I was quite desprate to go to the men's room and make sure that I didn't need to change my protection . I handed Chris my coat and took only my bag with me in case ... annie waved at us from the other side of the hallway - you know she seems to like you right ? - Chris asked me in a low voice - what ? Who ? - Annie . What did that concision hurt your eyesight? She is clearly interested in you - I don't think so - what are you serious , she is totally your type . What's up with you ? Normally you would have asked her out ages ago , actually why don't you ask her out ? - I don't know it's weird , and isn't there a law or something against it ? - no , you are no longer a patient . Oh god just do it - as we got near Annie Chris lightly shoved me towards her - hi - hi - I hope it's not weird or something but I was wondering if you would like to grab a cup of coffee sometime or something ? - sure though I thought that you might be avoiding coffee - yeah kinda of - I started to regret taking Chris's advice as I felt really stupid - maybe frozen yoghurt ? - Annie added with a smile - yeah that's sounds great , maybe after the 4th of July sometime ? We are going up to a family vacation but I'd be great once I m back - let me give you my number I automatically reached into my pocket only to realize that my phone was in its usual place in the pocket of my jacket however I wasn't wearing my jacket . I heard Chris clear his troath behind me as he passed me his phone - I will send you the contact Annie saved her number in Chris's phone as I quickly excused myself and entered the men's room to a do my bussiness and b assess the damage done to my protection . Luckily my assumption was correct and not more than a few drops escaped into it meaning I had to reason to change . Relief though only lasted a few seconds as I realized this was only the first test ( and still the less likely to end up embarrassing ) of the day as we still had lunch out lined up. Surprisingly the lunch went well and it was really a nice break from my boring routine , Chris was an attraction as always but as he cleverly mapped the men's room out as we arrived and discreetly pointed it out to me , I used the attention directed at him to skip out basically unnoticed several times and avoid any possible accidents . i must admit that outing boosted my confidence , and also the impending date , I guess it's a date , with Annie . ...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... the last couple of days before driving up to the summer house went quite uneventful for me , Chris as always was quite busy . The only problem I encountered was how to pack my "things" . Obviously I don't mean clothes or shoes but the disposable things . If I put them in my suitcase there is hardly space for anything else but if don't then I m left virtually walking around with them in plain sight . after a lot of debate I decided to ask Chris's advice , I mean after all we will be sharing a room it's not like he won't be seeing it all , as much as I wish he wouldn't . He was in his room packing and talking on the phone as I tapped on the door he beckoned me in , putting the phone a bit to side as he asked what do you need? Usually it would be borrowing his stuff like shirts or aftershave but I didn't feel at all comfortable to being up packing my protections while he was on the phone and I could be overhead so I just said I will be back later and retreated to my own room. A while later I heard a knock on my door - what's up ? - as Chris entered I showed him my dilemma - I think the easiest unless you can calculate exactly how many of which you will need - to which I shook my head , technically the diapers I could while adding a couple of extras just in case , but I still couldn't say the word diaper out loud and the absorbant protection no way of knowing as I hoped the bare minimum but let recent events show things don't tend to go as I calculate them - it's easier if you just leave them as they are I will look for some bag which won't make the content obvious to tell and we will figure how and when to bring them in . on Friday we loaded the car with our bags and my protections and headed off towards the summer house . Chris sticked to the plan and stopped 3 times during the drive , once quite close to the house itself in case the bathroom would be occupied at arrival . During the drive he told me that he talked to mom and Beaty and our room would be next to moms whole Beaty joe and the twins will take the other bedroom and kids room , meaning Chris and I will be sharing a bathroom with mom and Isaac while Beaty joe and the kids get the second . I wasn't so sure that being right next door to mom is the best since the walls were paper thin but I had to admit it was still a better option than sharing a wall with Beaty and joe. - besides joe and Beaty are all about getting alone time to work on things while mom and Isaac are just a week away from going away alone for 5 months , which couple do you figure is more likely to get procreating ? - Chris asked raising his eyebrows - ohh Ewww don't - just having that image of mom doing it was enough to give me nausea , it was weird enough we were all here without dad as this house was his dream his making and mom was sharing their bed with a new man , I needn't to think about what happens in that bed, I'd hoped nothing . i was worried about getting the bags in unnoticed but we got lucky. We were basically only greeted by mom and Isaac but mom returned to the "scene" almost right after and Isaac retreated to the kitchen to his wine, he looked like but the time Chris and I as the last to arrive have he already had enough family time. I could relate to him somewhat . the scene which was clearly heard over even in our bedroom where we tried to unpack ( or in my case hide ) our belongings , seemed to be another huge fight between Beaty and joe. They been fighting a lot since Beaty went back to work . Which led joe home as a full time dad . That probably left him incharge of the potty training which now , at least based on beatys views, ended in a late disaster . Espcially for Britney who still has several daytime accidents . One of which probably occurred not much before we arrived and created enough distraction for us to slip in almost unnoticed . Mom tried to calm things and reason with Beaty such as fraternal twins are as good as 2 totally different children and either way this was no major disaster worth shouting , but as usual when she flew into a stubborn rage fit there was no talking to . It's not like Beaty and moms relationship was a smooth 1. When Beaty was growing up she and mom fought about everything to the point Beaty applied only to colleges on the other coast to be away from home for years where she barely visited . Since the girls where born and dad died their relationship has seemed to reach a quiet zone but fights still occurred . my feelings regarding the twins potty training were mixed . First it took up a lot more bathroom time than before , and brought it up constantly as a conversation topic making me go pink and squirmish reminding me about my own troubles , on the other hand I felt sorry for them , as Beaty clearly tried to take over now that she was home and the more joe tried to mellow her attitude the more fights it seemed to result in . discipline wise it seemed clear that Beaty took after dad. Joe seemed much more calm yet it seemed clear he has had it too with the whole thing and I guess the fights in particular . regarding the girls mom and Chris seemed dispatched consoling them when the yelling a broke out , though Beaty hasn't directly yelled at the girls she was yelling at joe right in front of them which seemed to have to same effect. i did feel bad for them while trying to keep myself distant as I knew my own situation wasn't far from theirs . ( we are getting nearer the action but I don't want to ruin the tension build up so it will take a little bit longer )
  5. Maybe I m taking a bit too much time to build up the background of the story and it's taking too long to get to the action I might try to "skip" a little and just mention things without so much detail and get to the painful stuff that r yet to come and rehabilitation won't be so much of a part of that but Annie will be
  6. Chapter 7 sometimes I wonder if Chris knows me so well he literally knows what I m thinking or my facial expressions are that obvious . - relax , I didn't mean that I'd go in with you and ask the doctor 35 question that I prepared at home , but if I m not doing anything at the time of your appointment I can drive you and you don't have to uber, I can have coffee or something if u rather I don't go in . I know driving is not exactly working yet with your knee . Plus mom will call you to ask wether she should take you or the very least what the doctor said after, so if you tell her I m taking you it will reassure her that your health is being taken care of even if she isn't here. And with this trip anything that eases her mind is a blessing . i guess all 3 of us wanted mom to go on this trip. All of us from different reasons , me obviously to get moms extensive questioning and worrying of my back for a while , Beaty since with mom gone she will be running the company by herself , and Chris I guess has the most selfless reason wants mom to have someone she would be happy with. - ahh I didn't mean like don't come or something just didn't think you have the time - well I don't know but if you tell me when it is I will check - Tuesday at noon Chris scanned his calendar - wide open actually . I even have time to wait for you and we could go out to lunch ,how about that for a plan? I shifted uncomfortably , I was trying to come up with an excuse that wouldn't be rude to avoid the lunch out but my mind draw up blank. Chris frowned at me - what's wrong ? I already got him angry by hiding what was going on , and yet all he was doing since is trying to bail me out so the least I could do was be honest . - I haven't really been out so I m just not sure how good of an idea it is - what do you mean you haven't been out ? I m talking lunch not clubbing till the next day - I haven't been out to eat and stuff either, I usually order in it was safer to stay in familiar places and avoid ... You know - I still couldn't bring myself to say accident - wait you haven't been out at all since the accident ?! Now I m getting worried i guessed he was half joking half serious . Staying home was never my thing . I even went as far as far escaping through my bedroom window to go party . But that was when I didn't have to worry about peeing my pants like a toddler who hasn't mastered tiolet training . - I guess I just tried to avoid situations where things could go wrong , I mean if I'd gone out with my friends and something would have happened ... not exactly simple to explain . And it would require a lot of preplanning to make sure nothing happens . - look during this holiday we will go out for dinner and 4th of July and you the usual. You stayed scooped up in the house that's a definite red flag for everyone especially mom. Besides its not good for you either. You should get out a little . So Tuesday we will do a trial run. Will go have lunch and if anything does go wrong we will come ready and we will draw our conclusions . We have to start somewhere . Besides , you won't be doing it alone. Whatever happens I m gonna be right there with you . i knew Chris was right , I couldn't hide inside forever and if I wanted mom to not suspect a thing I had to act normal. But going out still made me nervous . And nervous just makes things worse that I already learnt . ...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... monday was quite uneventful . Chris was out at meetings and auditions and catching up with some people while I mostly did what I been doing the past 2 months which wasn't much . we set to be ready at 11:20 to go to the rehabilitation facility I was treated at. It wasn't actually far not even with traffic but by now I guess it goes without saying that prior to going in seeing the doctors I wanted to be able to use the men's room. The plan was that Chris will drive me and wait till I get the consultation and then we would head to a small quiet bbq place near by. Id lie if I'd said I wasn't nervous . Well the consultation was 1 thing. It's been 2 months since my release and they wanted to evaluate my status , not a very comfortable experience . And after I survive that I get to go to a restaurant where I can worry for about 1.5 to 2 hours wether I will have an accident for all to see or I will be able to retain my pride and self dignity . we were waiting outside the consultation room where the receptionist instructed us , as it wasn't the room I usually went to Chris cake with me so finding each other would be easier after. I just came back from the men's room as Chris was telling me to text him when I M done to meet downstairs as a young woman walked pass by us then turned around - Jonny ? Hi ! How have you been ? It was Annie , she was wearing her usual white uniform her long brown wavy hair tied in a pony tail. She was many times my "morning nurse" sometimes during the weekends nighttime , nurses work 3 shifts and each was assigned to certain rooms and patients . as I remember Annie was trying to finish her degree in rehabilitation nursing so she mostly worked mornings and weekends and took classes in the evenings . - hi Annie ! Amm the usual I guess ... Here for me 2 months check up . How about you ? - I m good too thanks , oh wow 2 months already hopefully only good results ! I m sorry I m not sure if we met I mean I knew you I mean seen you but officially .. - I was used to girls my age getting all giddy around Chris he is a known actor after all - hi Chris , nice to meet you Annie . No I don't think we met face to face , I haven't been visiting enough so I guess we missed each other the few times I have been here. - I only work mornings , some weekends I pick up some extra shifts during the weekend at night cause I m studying in evening school to finish my degree in rehabilitation . - wow not resting for a minute are you ? - well now more than I like to as the departments are half empty cause of the holiday and summer vacation time just then the consultation room door opened cutting the conversation short and a nurse and Annie exchanged smiles as the other nurse beckoned us in. Annie was standing right next to the door politely showing us in to avoid things seeming akward Chris smiled and stepped into the room behind me whispering in my ear - I guess I m coming in then ... The consultation itself took less than I thought mostly cause the doctor wanted me to have an MRI of the knee in another month though as it seemed it will be longer since July August seemed like the yearly vacation times everywhere . chris was a much less disturbing companion than mom though he did ask a couple of questions mostly regarding the sedation needed for the MRI he didn't press points and the medical staff seemed pleased that I didn't come by myself . Not sure wether because of Chris himself or cause they did emphasize during recovery the importance of a supporting background . the only unpleasant part of it was the examination of my knee which was more painful than I thought and I have to admit it was embarrassing having to take my pants off and reveal my protective underwear , of course nothing to the staff and by this point to Chris either. But during the examination I felt the familiar sudden urge and with the pain caused by manipulating my knee I stood no chance of avoiding my bladder content escaping into my underwear. As I just been to the tiolet about 10 minutes before I knew it couldn't have been more than a few drops of pee, might not even be enough to show at all but I was still very self conscious and concerned they will spot my "accident". It didn't seem like anyone has noticed anything and they attributed my reaction to the caused pain. The doctor tried to reassure , chriscas specially since he got on his feet and came over to make I was fine , that at this time it's perfectly normal for me to experience pain during knee examinations but no harm was done and that they are expecting promising results from the upcoming MRI . my main concern at that moment was mainly to hide any possible signs my accident could have left , though my knee did throb it still concerned me less .
  7. Chapter 6 continued : ( sorry I had to stop midway ) - is there a pattern or an evoking cause ? - No - Ok does it happen multiple times in a day ? - Sometimes , I mean it can be once or 4 times that's why they said the more times I go to the bathroom I reduce the chance of a larger volume - I let my voice trail off without finishing with the word accident . I guess even without adding it's clear Chris frowned and picked up his laptop typing away without a word for a few minutes . - well based on what I see there is 1 gas station averagely every 5 miles on the road so if we stop 3-4 times counting traffic it should be ok I think . What do you think ? He turned the screen towards me showing the highlighted gas station on the planned way. - yeah I think so - I felt a bit relieved . Chris was a guy who had a plan and a plan b for everything. Having him on my side is probably going to make things a lot easier. - Now regarding the house , from what I gather Beaty and joe really want the girls out of their bedroom which in that case would mean that we would be sharing a room. Sharing a room ? At first a shiver of panic hit me. That I didn't consider. I had to share a room in recovery but that was different. - look I already know and seen everything there is nothing you should be concerned about , it won't bother me. Well not more than the other annoying things you can do - Chris added with a grin I guess to lighten the mood as he probably saw my expression when he said share a room . - yeah I mean I hope it won't bother you - I felt my neck turning red, just imagining going to sleep wearing a diaper not to mention waking up soaked , with Chris only meters away. I saw a hesitance flash through Chris's face as he asked in a nonchalant voice - did you ever wet the bed ? I mean while using a diaper? I felt myself blush- no , no I didn't - Besides the room that used to be ours that now Haley and Britney will use all the others have a double bed Oh , that's right. I always got the "kids" room which now the twins will get. Which means that not only will Chris and I be sharing a room , we will be sharing a bed... Not that it would be a first , camping trips and such plus I used to climb into his bed when I was little. Dad didn't allow that when he was home , and after a certain age Beaty was too busy with her boyfriend and friends who frequently spent the night she banished me from her room. Chris however never really seemed to mind , not even when he brought a girl with him . - no I didn't I mean the bed is dry - Ok it's not the end of the world anyway and only a few nights, just thought to prepare accordingly . Last question this problem is urinary only then ? - Yeah - I blushed nothing more I would need in my life ... - no poop related .. - no ! No - okay okay chill I just asked that's all there was an awkward silence I was trying to stop the sensation that my entire upper body was in flames of shame as Chris seemed to decide on his final plan - Okay well mom and Isaac are seriously planning this trip, so though honestly I don't feel very good about this play I guess it's the best for all involved for now. I nodded. - do they know when they are leaving ? - on the 10th I think. Which day is your doctors appointment ? I stared back at him with surprise. Wait how does he even know that ? And why does he want to know for ? - mom asked you before the dinner and you said you got a check up this week Ah yeah . Mom always asks me what check ups I have and when , if it would be up to her she wouldn't just go with me she would go in with me if I wouldn't try to stop her. Honestly I m not always able to . I tried to at least keep her from coming with me saying that I want to take responsibility , I think it is mostly Isaac who convinced her to stay more in the background I think he has 5 or 6 kids but he wasn't involved in raising any of them nor does he has much relationship with them now. But Chris taking moms place in sitting with me at the doctors ..?!
  8. Chapter 6 i staggered around fiddling with the diaper . I was too tired to even properly dispose my used diaper, at this point basically why bother Chris already knows. Ahh just thinking of that made my headache worse . Luckily I slept a few more hours and as I woke up my head did feel better . The rest of me not so much . Waking up to a soaked diaper and the knowledge that not only does my brother now knows what I was trying to hide he actually diapered me. Just that thought ... I mean I know it's not the first time ever. He babysat me when I was little and still not fully toilet trained but that was different . I wish I could have just hide somewhere and not face any of it . Another talk not to mention that starting Friday I m bound to a 10 day long holiday locked up with my entire family . if I failed hiding it from Chris I don't stand a chance of hiding it from my mom and Beaty . I will never live it down . but i Know i already let Chris down so I stepped into the shower and after getting dressed I disposed both of my soaking wet diapers and slowly headed downstairs. the house bore no signs that just the previous night there was a party full of people . It was clean and immaculate as ever . Chris was sitting in the living room infront of his open laptop talking on the phone . I hesitated wether I should go in or wait in the kitchen but as I entered Chris signaled that I should sit down . He didn't seem so angry with me this morning but my head was still throbbing and I wasn't sure if all my memories were accurate or how accurately was I able to asses his mood to begin with it took a few minutes till he was able to hang up the conversation . - feeling better ? - yeah I mean more or less - still hangovered huh? - yeah ... Look I m sorry about the mess I caused last night I didn't want to - it's fine don't worry about it similar happens in basically every party I didn't know what to say I knew that the chances that he forgot about wanting to talk to me is not likely but I couldn't bring it up - do you want to eat something ? - I still have kind of a nausea but maybe - okay come on then I followed him to the kitchen as he made the food . Even as we ate he didn't seem to bring up the subject. i started to think he might have really forgotten , but as I returned to the living room a few hours later after my bathroom trip Chris set down on the coffee table the computer he held on his lap and turned to me - okay let's get this thing over with shall we? I bit the inner side of my cheek I should have known it will be coming. In this family the terms we have to talk or we will talk later inevitably do come no matter what and how much you try and want to avoid it . - so what exactly is going on ? I didn't know what to say, what should be said. This whole topic , though I had to discuss it again and again with doctor after Doctor still feels completely humiliating and embarrassing . -did it start in rehabilitation? I nodded - and you seen specialists who said it could improve with time ? I nodded again - Jonny I know it's not something you want to talk about but if I don't know what is going on I can't help. What exactly happens ? - I don't know a sudden urge to pee and if I m not near a toilet then what happened last night I desparetly tried to avoid terms like protection diaper accident or wetting my pants - how much time is there between the urge and peeing yourself ? - I don't I m not sure - just hearing the words I wished I could put my hands on my ears and not hear anymore though it would probably just echo in my head - seconds ? Minutes ? - minutes but i don't know exactly how many but usually if I m near a toilet then it's ok - and what about during the night ? - I guess he saw the lable on the diaper bag saying extra absorbent for nighttime I shook my head - every night ? - yeah - do you wake up to the urge ? - nope I mean sometimes I wake up but it's too late - and during the day you use absorbent underpants ? - yeah in case - last night it didn't seem to help too much . Did it in other occasions ? - yeah , I mean last night I think I drank too much and there was a long line to the bathroom so ... But what they told me at the clinic is that if I go more often than I would I can reduce the volume so that if ... it happens the thing will absorb it and it won't show l don't know if it shows they says its discreet chris sighed - so to summerize there is nothing to do regarding the nights that's a lost cause , daytime is manageable as long as you are in a short distance of an avaible tiolet ? - yeah I guess basically yeah - well the drive up to the summer house is a bit over 2 hours drive so that's 1 question, the other is the arrangements in the house itself
  9. Chapter 5 i knew I should change my soaked diaper argh just thinking that is painful, but getting up is too hard my head is pounding and I m thisty i tried to find a position that would be more comfortable I guess I grunted cause I heard a knock - well I see you woke up Chris was standing in the door I have to squint my eyes to see the light entering seems too much all of the sudden As he shut the door behind him he stepped next to my bed to hand me 2 pills and a glass of water I sip it quickly trying to ease my thirst. Chris stands by my bed and I can tell he is displeased right I got drunk at a party where a lot of people he works with were at crap i also know that drinking all that water is prob not that good of an idea considering my diaper feels soaked but at least it buys me time to figure out what to say - so you want to tell me what's going on ? - Chris folded his hands but his voice doesn't sound angry or at least not really angry - I guess I over did the shots last night - I say quietly - I'd say - Chris sighes and sits and the end of my bed facing me the silence feels awkward - do you remember last night ? - Chris asked studying me - ahh sorta I met Jason we had a shot I haven't had shots since before the accident , mm after that I drank some more - sounds about right - something in the way he looks at me tells me that there is more to it I just can't recall what I drank I needed to pee I went to the bathroom oh no no no shit I had a full accident and there were a bunch of people around oh no no shit - oh god a lot of people saw that I ... I mean that I had a ... That I - I couldn't bring myself to say wet my pants - that you peed your pants ? Some . But I think Jason found you quite quick then we got you upstairs oh god the stairs Jason and then they brought me to my room and I tried to lay down but Chris started to undressed me I felt the blood rush out of my face and my heart pounding stronger than my head I was in no position to dress myself or put on a diaper that means that ... That I have a diaper on and I didn't put it on Chris must have seen on my face that I finally pieced the puzzle together - I diapered you last night . - his voice was quiet but I felt like his words came down on me like a ton of bricks . I couldn't tell how he was feeling - and based on that full drawer - pointing at my "underwear drawer" - I can safely say that's not since yesterday is it ? My mouth is open but I can't get a sound out . I can't even wrap my head around it . That's it . He knows . - so are you going to tell me what is going on ? My mouth feels totally dry though I just drank half a glass , my hands r shaking and I feel like I might be sick - I thought we agreed no secrets no lies - he is right , that was a pact from like 10 years ago when I started getting into trouble . He promised that if I m in trouble I could call him and he will try to help as long as I promise to tell him exactly what's going on no lying no untold secrets . As he put it he can only help if he knows what he is up against . And we both kept our end of the agreement, till now . Cause now I broke it . I literally just want to slam my head into the wall. From all the stupid things I did this was minus the motorcycle the dumbest . I let down the 1 person who was always having my back . Like even now he still made sure I was ok though I don't deserve it . I felt his gaze on me but I just couldn't man up and look him in the eyes chris took a deep breath but as he realized I m not able to vocalize the answer he wants he sighed , I saw him shift his position he was no longer sitting at the edge of the bed he moved near my feet I could feel his weight as he adjusted himself - JoJo why didn't you just tell me ? - his voice wasn't angry anymore, it's reeked of disappointment. I can sense disappointment from miles after endless conversations with my dad . JoJo my childhood nickname he no longer uses around other people I haven't heard that in a while just made it more painful that I betrayed him . - I didn't want anyone to know - I hear my own voice so soft I can barely hear it but seems like Chris hears it anyway - I get that but you couldn't have honestly thought no one will find out, I mean it took me barely 2 days to figure out - I hoped it would go away by the time you got back , the dr said it could get better and go away just takes time - yeah but you know that when they say gets better in time it's not overnight for a while there was basically complete silence I was still trying to process the fact that Chris found out and more to that how he found out and who else could possibly know . - so your plan was basically to try to keep it hidden ? I nodded - and what about the yearly 4th of July getaway all if locked in a small barely 4 bedroom house 24/7 for over a week isn't exactly realistic to hide, not to mention that we are your family I knew Chris was right there is no way I could hide it my chest felt so thight I could barely breath - alright don't get yourself into a state that's not what I was trying to achieve - clearly my emotions are like an open book considering that I managed to hide it quite a long time - and did you think about the option that if your family knew you wouldn't go through it alone ? - mom barely agreed to let me stay here as it is if she known she never would have agreed to this , and Beaty ... - okay Beaty can be ... difficult , but I never gave you a reason to hide things from me quite the contrast . Yet when I asked you when I arrived if there is anything I should know about you said no - I didn't want to lie to you Chris didn't answer but I know what he was thinking " yet you still lied " - I just couldn't bring myself to say any of it out loud I finally gathered enough courage to look him in the eyes - not that I want to justify you not telling me the truth but the whole truth is I wasn't there enough I mean I called I texted but I only visited you like a couple of times while you were recovering . I should have been here physically much more and the remote locations of the sets isn't a good enough excuse . So even though I said this no secrets no lies rule will have no expections I m willing to make this case an exeption if and I emphasize if you tell me everything that I don't know now . - there isn't anything I swear - ok take the aspirin get some sleep and we will talk about this more later ok ? I nodded as I put the pills in my mouth and swallowed them with the remaining water - alright then- Chris got up while slightly sqeezing my leg he seemed to be heading out but hesitated - do you need to ... change? I wanted to say no and that everything is fine but lying is what got me here in the first place - I think so - I could barely get the words out I already felt my cheeks burning though I knew even if I didn't remember that Chris was the 1 who put the diaper on me to begin with - do you need help ? - no - I shook my head so virgiusly my headache suddenly intensified - I mean no thanks I can do it myself - ok then if you need something call me and try to get some sleep his hand was already on the door knob when I called after him - Chris ? - yeah ? - did you ... did you tell mom ? - no no I didn't - thanks - he was already opening the door - and are ... I mean will - no I m not gonna tell her , we will figure something out regarding the 4th of July - kicks ? - I haven't called him that in a really long time , I couldn't pronounce Chris as a kid so I called him kicks and became a nickname for a while - yeah ? - though my eyes had a hard time adjusting to the light I saw the half smile on his face - I m sorry - I know , I know . Just get some sleep
  10. Chapter 4 i knew I was waiting for too long but I had to wait till all the desserts were on our plates. I got up and tried to reach the bathroom but there wasn't enough time. As I tried to hurry towards the bathroom I suddenly felt the familiar warmth spread around my crotch and I despretly tried to clench my spinchter shut . After I finally shut the bathroom door behind my back I quickly dropped my pants and protection and emptied what was left in my bladder in to the tiolet. I assessed the damage done to the protective garment. It was still quite ok a bit swollen but I was hoping I'd be able to hide that. As long as not too long is left of the evening ... but then another horrifying thought hit me. The 4th of July vacation. In our family that meant at least 1 week but normally more , up in our summer house. How would I make it through a week or more hiding this when I can barely make it through 1 dinner ?! Nause started to rise deep in my stomach . I had to spray water on my face to gather myself. I got lucky. Though I remained extensively nervous through out the rest of the dinner it wasn't very long. As we finished dessert mom started offering coffee which I avoid since it's a diuretic , same as alcohol though that she offers me a lot less. Can't blame her though I usually do stupid things when I drink too much . But anyway my luck was that Chris also declined the coffee cause he said his jet leg is getting the better of him and he rather go home and try to restore some normal sleep patterns . So we said goodbye ( me more carefully since I was worried my crotch area would be noticeably bulding , there would be some smell of urine though the garment is supposed to be smell reducing or the very least detectable during a hug) and headed to the car. beaty and joe were each strapping a child into the back seat as we sat into the car Beaty tapped on Chris's window - so Jonny is staying with you then ? - ah yeah I mean what do you mean ? - well I thought it was till you get back but if you plan to stay , if mom and Isaac are really going on this cruise he could move back to his old room. Sometimes I honestly don't get Beaty . I mean she is my sister and we do love each other but sometimes she gets on my nerves, always trying to be in charge . Especially since dad died. - whoa I got back literally 24 hours ago and I m not sure for how long , you know how these roles go. Let's not start playing musical chairs just yet . - alright I only asked jeez seemed like she would have kept talking though Chris didn't seem very much in the mood to, but then 1 of the girls started crying so she got into her car and waved goodbye . chris slightly rolled his eyes as far as I could make it out. Though the 2 of them are quite close age wise they are nothing alike personality wise. i was glad at least it was dark outside cause I wouldn't have known how to sit and hide my supposable buldge. I honestly do t know if it could be spotted or its just in my head but it's not like I could just ask someone... i was deep in my own thoughts through the drive , the week away at the summer house, what Beaty said . - earth to Jonny Yoo-hoo - I realized Chris was waving a hand infront of me - oh sorry what ? - damn sometimes I can sink into my own world so deeply I don't realize what is right in front of me. Could he have noticed my buldge ? - considering I m jet legged you seem out of space - Chris gave me a half smile as turned back to look at the road - I said that I forgot to tell you that tomorrow evening I will be hosting a party. At my ahm I guess our place, still new to this roommate like situation . It's actors friends kinda a mix. Also some casting people regarding the roles I m trying out for. That's why I wanted to leave early tonight the caters are coming around 3 o'clock and I really need to get some rest. - ohh okay sure , I mean it's still your place . I will get out of under your foot - jeez what am I saying I have no idea where on earth I could go to - or or just lock myself in the room or something . - well at least that's a doable plan . chris laughed - no I didn't mean you got casted as the male Cinderella - seeing my confused expression Chris laughed harder - jeez you really didn't hear a single word I said did you ? I didn't mean you should get out of the house or hide , I just forgot to tell you that's all . Of course if you don't like the scene I m not gonna force you to stay but I m not trying to banish you from the party . - oh no I mean it would be nice - well I m not sure nice since with a full house if people I'd definetly have to use an upstairs bathroom but if worse comes to worse I should be able to quickly slip away and change, not like anyone would notice I was gone.- I will go , sure - to be honest I m not used to living with people since you know so I totally forgot until dinner , sorry . - you don't have to apologize to me , it's your house I m the guest - oh come on you are not my guest you are my brother my house is your house - thanks - I said with a smile it did make feel better , but still Chris didn't exactly know or at least I hope he didn't , that I was sitting next to him in a half soaked protective garment . Luckily as we got to the house Chris did go to take a shower immidiatly and I did the same carefully disposing the used protective wear making a mental note to be even more careful about disposing them. But for now I got away with it again. But this 1 was close . A half accident is still possible to hide but Chris was quite tired and focused on the party the next evening . Not likely I'd be so lucky again . ...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... saturday started quite my usual . Woke up with a soaked diaper , quickly showered and got dressed. Chris slept in as the preparations for the party only started around the afternoon . By evening most of the first floor and garden was full of caterers waiters I m not even sure, and guests , lots of guests. I tried to dress up nicely so I wouldn't show Chris up , while still being able to hide my "underwear". as I got downstairs and try to figure out what I m supposed to do around dozens of unfamiliar guests I spotted Jason talking to a waiter. He is probably Chris's oldest friend , I known him basically my whole life. - Jonny ! Long time no see - he greeted me with a handshake and half hug as I approached him - how have you been man ? - you know slow recovery and all . What about you ? - getting over my divorce , pretty painful too - as the waiter returned Jason took 2 shot glasses of the tray and handed 1 to me - to long and painful things cheers ! I wasn't often included in drinking with Chris and his friends so I drank the shot figuring though alcohol was a diuretic as long as I don't drink too much and take frequent bathroom brakes I should be fine. i guess my calculations weren't so accurate. A good couple of hours later and a few more shots and beers later I was very hazy but I knew I needed to pee and urgently . Of course the downstairs bathroom line was full of people . I was trying to head upstairs though the floor felt like it was moving and it was hard to walk straight so I leaned against a wall. I felt my crotch grow warm . Very warm . Warmer than usual . I tried to go up to my room but when I reached the stairs I staggered and almost fell. - Jonny ? Hi are you okay ? - the voice sounded familiar but it was hard to focus on the face - oh man shit , you are a mess . Alright sit down on this step before you fall . I will get you a towel and your brother. Things were all hazy . Everything was spinning slowly making focusing hard . And everything sounded loud . - oh god Jonny how much did you drink ? Good lord - that was Chris's voice , that much I was able to separate out of the babble of sounds - alright let's get you upstairs - you need a hand ? - yeah actually thanks Jase - here take the towel and wrap it around him that should hide the signs I m not quite sure what was happening but the noises became more distant as I sort of walked but without much control to my room - you need me go get something ? - just take the cover off the bed I will get him sorted , thanks jase - no problem bro I will see you downstairs i tried to burrow into my pillow - no no come on you are a mess you can't lay down like this come on Jonny come on I couldn't bring myself to think clearly much less speak clearly so I just grunted as I tried to pull the pillow over my head to hide from the sudden light in the room - alright come lets get you out of your wet clothes .... What in the world ...??? I heard drawers and closet doors open and close - oh Jonny seriously ... Then things went black ...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... I have no idea what the time is , but there is light coming through the shades so I guess morning or maybe noon god why is my head pounding like its about to split open accident I was in a motorcycle accident no wait party there was a party last night I remember shots and maybe a beer but how did I get to bed oh shit my hand automatically dropped to my crotch - soaked diaper . Well at least I had enough sense to put on a diaper as the bed below me felt dry
  11. Thank you to be honest I was getting a little worried that no1 liked the story cause the first 2 chapters didn't get any replies but if there r people interested will keep on writing
  12. Chapter 3 we spent like an hour sitting in the kitchen talking. Frankly Chris did most of the talking. He had a lot of stories from his latest movie set, I was always fascinated by the scenarios he got in but now especially since I had nothing to contribute but experiences with accidents near accidents and protection, all the things I'd rather never talk of, so I was more than relieved to simply sip water and listen. Suddenly I felt the all too familiar immidiate urge in my bladder signaling me that I don't have more than a few minutes before an accident. - so in the middle of all of that there is a donkey as in a live donkey just wondering on to the set in the .... - ahh I need to .. I mean I will be back in a sec sorry - I tried not to look desperate as I interrupted Chris's sentence and tried to make my way as quickly as I could to the downstairs bathroom . Thankfully I had enough time to empty my bladder in the toilet without any problems. I breath out in relief as I carefully checked in the mirror that there was nothing showing under my clothes . When I got back to the kitchen Chris was typing away on his phone. I just sat back down at the kitchen island as Chris spoke up again - how about we go out and have some dinner ? There is a New Italian place that opened last month or something people seem to be lining up to try it The question would not normally startle me , I mean this was something we usually did when Chris was in town. It didn't seem to matter how long he was gone for but he always knew which new place opened and as a celebrity getting a table never seemed an issue. But I haven't been out for dinner or at all basically since my accident. The only dinner away from the house I had was usually Friday night at my moms with her and Isaac her new partner and sometimes my sister her twins and her husband . When Beaty my sister and her husband Joe and my twin nieces who were just finishinning toilet training came over for dinner at moms I was always more nervous since it meant twice as many people using the toilet downstairs ( of course there were toilets upstairs but making it up the stairs in time epically with my knee meant a very likely chance of an accident no matter how much precaution I took. At least twice I came home hoping no one would be able to spot the sudden increase of mass around my crotch caused by my half accidents. I never dared trying to change my protection at moms, first it would take long enough to possibly raise suspicion plus I couldn't just leave there for my mom to find when she took out the trash) - Jonny ? - Chris set down his phone and was now looking straight at me Shit I got so startled and panicked trying to calculate the chances of traffic down town bathroom lines in a new up beat restaurant that I completly forgot to answer . But I guess my facial expression gave my feelings away ( like I said I was not a good actor) - ergh I just thought you might be jet legged and all - no not yet , tomorrow probably but if you don't feel up to it we can just order food and stay in I felt guilty that because of me Chris ended up staying home having pizza and watching a game rather than having a nice night out with some of his friends as he most likely would have have I not been here. Or if I would felt ready to leave the house which I was definetly not. I already showered and laying in bed ( thankfully I was paranoid enough especially now that Chris is in the house , not to dare walk around in my pjs and a thick night padding which might be covered by the pants but the bulk definetly not discrete ) as I heard a knock on my bed room door. Chris thank goodness is a man respecting privacy and doesn't "forget" to knock like my mom and sister tend to before coming in. I hurredly rearranged my covers to make sure in no way could Chris detect anything suspicious looking quickly glanced over the room to make sure I haven't left anything out in the open. - yeah come in - hi oh sorry I hope I didn't want to wake you - no you didn't just getting ready to sleep - I was hoping there was no smell of urine in the room I always tried to air the room and even use sprays but they say you get used to smells after a while . - okay maybe I m jet legged - Chris laughed looking at his watch - anyway I just wanted to say that I talked to mom earlier and she is preparing a dinner for tomorrow night for the whole family. The usual drill you know cooking for 15 instead of 8. - ah yeah sure - you ok ? - yeah yeah sorry I m just a bit tired - frankly I didn't dare to move in case he would notice a buldge or the diaper, god I can barely bring myself to say the d word in my head , makes some noise - ok then sleep well - thanks you too I mean I hope you will be able to sleep - haha no joke otherwise tomorrow evening will be especially fun with me half sleep walking . Alright see you tomorrow ! As the door closed I took a deep breath. Another big family dinner. At least tomorrow most likely all the attention will be focused on Chris rather than me so I could use that for my own benefit . Seems like for now I m out of the woods and Chris isn't suspecting anything . I just need to keep it that way and not to give him any reason to think there might be something. ............................................................................................................................................. The next day was pretty uneventful Chris was emailing and talking on the phone most of the day, once he comes back it's mostly catching up with people he hasn't spoken to in a while and many times preparations for the next auditions. As I anticipated most of the family's attention was focused on Chris, on stories I mostly heard by then either from him directly or overheard him on the phone, so I didn't concentrate much in the conversation. Of course everyone asked how I was doing but not much is changing in a week, and honestly the less attention I get right now the happier I m. It was dessert time when I was planning to take another bathroom trip ( I use the need to wash my hands line before or after some courses as an excuse to escape to the bathroom without raising suspicion ), I didn't feel any urge yet but I found that the more times I lee even if I have an accident at least I can decrease its volume and thereby the chances of my protection failing. Just as I was about to get up Beaty put down her glass of wine - Alright what's is going on ? I felt frozen, but I realized as Chris spoke up that the question wasn't directed at me. - yeah mom what is going on ? - Chris asked joining Beaty - well alright I m not sure how to say this - oh god you and Isaac are getting married ?! - Beaty cut in - I haven't asked your mothers hand Beatrice , well not yet - Isaac looked around as if to see how we would all react- what she wants to tell you is that I think I finally managed to convince her to go on a cruise with me - oh about time ! - Chris smiled raising his glass - yes well it's quite a long cruise - mom said looking around - didn't you say about 5 months ? - yes 5 months - and we thought that now that Chris you are also here maybe it would be the time - Isaac added - so ? What is holding you back ? - Chris put down his glass - everyone is ok , Beaty got the company covered and don't worry the house won't get stolen. Beaty has been running the family bussiness with some help from mom since dad died. It was always clear dad wanted Chris to take over one day but he politely refused. I m not sure if he really didn't want the bussiness or he felt he wasn't entitled to it since dad wasn't his biological dad ( though he called him and till this day refers to him as dad ), but as his acting carrier became more and more successful it became obvious that he isn't likely to run the company. I never had any real interest nor sense for it, one of the main conflicts dad and I used to have especially after I flunked out of college in the first semester, so that left Beaty who has already completed bussiness school with honors. - I know that sweetheart but still 5 months is a long time - mom , don't worry so much Isaac is right you should go . Everything is gonna be fine , besides 5 months isn't that long - Chris tried to reassure her - you don't even know where you will be in 3 months from now - well I have a few roles as option I might even be here will see - anyway mom - Beaty spoke up - when would you go ? - after the July 4th holiday . Chris sweetheart you are going to make it aren't you ? - unless something completely unexpected comes up yes, I already wrote it in my calendar . - good good - so you would all be alright with us taking this trip ? - Isaac asked - yeah of course ! - yeah everything will be fine here you have nothing to be concerned about - yeah mom you should go - I added to be honest I was desprate to pee, but I knew that if I got up then and there mom would misinterpret it, thinking I was not ok with her going. And quite the opposite , even though it was a weird thought that my mom would go on a cruise with a man who isn't my dad getting 5 months away from family dinners and her constant worry would lift some stress off my shoulders . however if the stress on my bladder wasn't going to be relieved very soon I knew what the outcome will be.
  13. Chapter 2 As the front door opened and I heard Chris's voice - Hello anyone here ? I jumped up quickly double checking that my shirt definetly hid the elastic band of my protection before going to greet him . - Jonny!! !!! Hi good to see you little brother - Chris slightly patted my back as we embraced . yeah I think I forgot to say my name is Jonathan but everybody calls me Jonny. At least Chris unlike my sister who still introduces me as her baby brother calls me little brother which is accurate for several reasons . First the age gap second is our height ( Chris is a solid 6,1 while I'm barely 5.8) and 3rd our strength is in no way comparable . Chris isn't a huge guy but he has definite abs the entertainment industry loves to show off shirtless , me on the other hand were never too much of a muscular built guy . - good to have you home bro ! - I tried casually step back as one more contrast between Chris and I is that while Chris is a brilliant actor and never have I seen him look dumb folded or embarrassed I m horrible at hiding my feelings, and I was already paranoid that somehow he could pick up on the fact I have absorbent underwear on just by hugging me my worried expression would definitely give something away . I tried my best not looking nervous but I knew the harder I tried the less likely it was that I would be successful in hiding it . Another thing I noticed was that stress and nervousness increased the chance of an accident and the last I need was that in that very moment. - everything ok ? - Chris looked me up and down as if he was measuring me trying to figure out if something is wrong - yeah yeah everything is fine , just glad you are back - I tried not to blush or looks to my crotch worried that I will alert him - so nothing I should know about ? - Chris's tone was more serious now Oh no , crap he knows - what do you mean ? - i tried to force my voice to stay as normal as possible - no broken furniture , burnt grass ? Let's see what else was there oh yeah gold fish in the pool and the famous bbq in the kitchen - oh - I breath out , yeah to be fair I did cause havoc in his and moms place as a teenager . Many house parties ended up with a major disaster that in most cases Chris had to clean up. Unless he was away somewhere then I had to deal with dads disappointment. - no no the house is fine I promise - mmhh . And you ? Still doing the physio for your knee ? - yeah yeah but it's looking better they say not much longer now as we entered the kitchen through the living room Chris took out a bottled water from the fridge and smiled - you know I M gonna be honest I have to admit I m surprised you been here almost 2 months and the house doesn't seemed racked at all . I was a little worried that when I came back I'd have to repaint or furnish half the house. But I guess you did man up by now I smiled . Though I felt he couldn't be further from the truth. Yeah I might not be acting reckless anymore but that's mostly cause my latest reckless act left me being scared of being away from a tiolet and having to wear a ... diaper every night.
  14. *** disclaimer English is not my first language so pls forgive my mistakes Chapter 1 I m sitting on a marvelous couch in a 10 million or probably more dollars house in L.A.. Should be enjoying life right? Well if this were a year ago I would. My brother is set to come home any minute which is actually a good thing cause even though we technically don't share a dad and have a huge age gap , we get along great. We never really lived together much as he was older than me by 1.5 decades almost and started off his quite successful acting carrier early on meaning he is off in distant location filming his next film. So like I said if this were a year ago , I'd be thrilled to be hanging at Chris's place with him, But a lot happens in a year... Let me go back a little ... So I was young and stupid . It was about 8 months ago. Trying to impress some chick I met the night before. I m not even sure what made me get on that motorbike. Most of the events after that are a blur. Even the first days or maybe weeks kinda hard to tell in the hospital are nothing but hazy memories . Some memories are clearer than others. To cut it short I fractured bones, busted my right knee , got a concussion and to top it off a spine injury. I should make a pretty close to full recovery . That's what all the experts said. It will take months of rehabilitation and basically the least fun year of my life. Espcially as I just turned 21. Well I was kicked out of college 2 years earlier and my dad suddenly died 6 months after that so I guess I could say that my past few years weren't too much fun. Maybe that's why I was trying to impress girls so much . But back to the story - I did recover. Well almost completely . Thats the thing . Fractures healed. Concussion is gone. My knee is quite okay. But my spine injury left something behind. At first it wasn't obvious. Well at first I was bed bound for months basically . And I had a catheter. If you are lucky enough not knowing what that is its a tube going up to your bladder and draining your urine into a sack. Constantly with no control. Now that's the thing - the control. I thought it was temporary . So everyone said . But as time went by I had to realize that though most of the time I was fine it was not all the time. I started to wet the bed, not that it never happened before but most definetly not in the last 7-8 years. If that wasn't embarrassing enough - wetting my bed at the age of 21 at a rehabilitation facility where of course I was surrounded by young hot nurses... Well wetting during the night wasn't the only thing. As much as I didn't want to admit it I have "accidents" during the day. What do I mean by that ? Is that I could be chilling on the couch like am right now, have a sudden urge to pee and basically I can barely get to a tiolet which is right in the next door before bum I m standing in a puddle . The doctors still say it is likely to get better and I need to be patient. So now here comes the thing. Almost 2 months ago I was set to be released from the rehabilitation center. I'd be thrilled right . Just that I didn't exactly have a place to go to. As I said before I was young and stupid . No steady job no place of my own ( I rented but after the accident of course I couldn't pay rent) so it seemed like my only choice was moving back home with my mom. Don't get me wrong I love mom she is great . The thing is no one knows about these accidents. I mean of course my doctors and the nurses knew but not my family. I m the youngest of 3 and I grew up known as the baby of the family . And In certain ways I was always treated like that especially by my mom and sister. My dad never babied me but that's an other story . Chris was I guess as the eldest just protective , and in the past years he started treating me with much more respect . So moving back with my mom seemed like the logical thing to do however there are 2 buts. 1 as I said before she always treated me as her baby if she found out about my accidents especially with my sister around I'd never live it down. 2 she just got her first serious new relationship after my dad. So I wouldn't just have to hide my secret from her but from some guy I don't really know living there now. So when Chris offered that I could "crash" at his place and watch it for him while works while I get back on my feet was a god send. It made it easier to hide the fact that now I wear protection basically all the time . There is no one in the house now but Martha the house keeper. Luckily most of the protection I wear is quite discreet of course not the night ones nor the fact that one drawer of my dresser is filled with them rather than with underwear. But only Martha comes in to my bedroom from time to time and I made sure not to leave anything out in the open for her to see. We don't interact much. With Chris gone she doesn't have too much to do and as she is middle aged we don't have too much in common , and mostly cause the easiest way I know to keep things hidden is by avoiding having to interact with people for too long we pretty much stayed out of each others way. I m kind of paranoid that somehow people will know I m wearing protective underwear though to be honest it does look pretty normal and not very obvious . I should be really gretaful to Annie , 1 of the nurses who cared for me. She is maybe a year older than I m so having her changing my wet sheets or even worse taking my wet pants to wash was humiliating beyond words . She was the 1 who suggested I try absorbent briefs for men. During the day anyway. Night is a humiliation of another type. I m still not ready to use the d word. But she was quite good at making brand suggestions and it does so me to be quite doable to hide. So with all of this, accidents which luckily stayed hidden by my protection and things went fine. But now Chris is coming home. And he will be staying . Exactly how long I m not sure. Sometimes he is only here for a few days sometimes he takes a job in a series and stays for months . I m hoping he will be working most of the time. Cause as I said no one in my family knows, and if he stays for long it will be hard work keeping this secret.