My bf knows and is cool with the whole ab/dl thing. He dosent realy understand why i enjoy it but isnt too fussed (so long as it keeps me quiet ). i commonly walk around the flat in just diapers and he has even been cool with being more intermate whilst in them. Again i agree it comes from comunication, we have had some long chats about what we like in the bedroom, what turns us on, our perfect man ect ect. I do think gays have a slight upper hand since its much simpler to talk to other men about sexual stuff (least it is for me). even with very close female friends im uncomfortable talking about explisit topics, with guys (even straight ones) its a lot easyer.
That depends who you meet. there is a hardcore of what my bf calls "plastic whores" but you can normaly spot them a mile off. If you want to be friends with them you will need to hide it compleatly, however i dont see why you would want to becuse they are bitchy and superfical. Genraly my advice is go for the gay students, they have less hangups and tend to be far more intresting. Most gays however are just like anyone else, so long as you get to know them first and dont push it in their face there cool with it. ive worn both a nappy and a collar to heaven (englands biggest gay club). the formar wasnt too obvious but i got a lot of curious questions about the latter.