Jump to content
LL Medico Diapers and More Bambino Diapers - ABDL Diaper Store

tyrantblade3500

Members
  • Posts

    419
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by tyrantblade3500

  1. Im far from not having seen a therapist or psychiatrist (though its been a while since ive had a therapist) and I should mention while I can have bad thoughts its rarely when im drunk and I don't get drunk way beyond what's reasonable, when I get drunk I remember everything and have yet to do anything I have regretted later. I really don't see getting drunk as a problem besides the potential for it to ruin my mood stability later on (which im not dead set at avoiding as long as I hide it well and dont do anything stupid). ive cut myself for many reasons in the past but not in a while, lately it comes to mind only when my anxiety gets extreme.
  2. I usually get drunk once a week, but this week im already drunk for the 2nd time and im just wondering if the tradeoff of feeling awesome now but perhaps feeling miserable later will be worth it, so far I think it will be, but I guess ill know for sure later on, I know it may completely nullify my medication, but this is the happiest I can get it seems and I have no intent to self harm or kill myself, im just trying to squeeze happiness out of this miserable life, ive been just satisfied enough to try to keep myself in check and not do anything stupid for so long, except for the crushing anxiety as of lately making me actually think of cutting, which is the worst ive probably ever felt.
  3. Im not sure what their plan is, you would think if they are planning on adding more products (as implied by the contest for a new design), that what's going on is temporary, but their recent history seems to imply if they have what you ordered they will ship it, but if no you get nothing and the lack of customer support seems to imply they will collect what they can, ship what they have and close business and potentially keep the website up to keep collecting money. I hope they get back on track and keep offering their products as they look nice and the price isn't too awful (some other baby-ish designs seem awful expensive)
  4. Ive never been caught unless you call being suspected being caught (living at home still, mom knows I wear and sometimes feels like stating it looks like im wearing).
  5. Cushies are still labeled as backordered until September 2014, so im a bit skeptical.
  6. It was only back in May 2013 when I had to start looking for a job, the economy couldnt have improved much since then.
  7. I know its not likely to last forever at the rate things are going, im just unsure under 2 years total work history will get me very far (it may mean even less at 23 as im sure some 19 year olds have a longer work history than I do), I remember last time I tried looking for work it was terrible, most places would never even give me an interview, and im not in a hurry to go through That again.
  8. It truly sucks trying to get things improved in this factory, the supervisors seem largely like Manure salesman, they promise improvement, but its all lies and if anything things get worse, I was always pretty much guaranteed 60 hour weeks at least half the time, but then they actually cut overtime back if we finished early and it was through volunteering and luck that I actually got 2 long work weeks, are factories always so hopeless? I feel the only reason they even bother to know names is if they figure you are gonna work there for a while, and never appreciate anybody, I feel it could be 10 years and id still barely be above minimum wage and just be a production worker, its to where I only care enough to show up and work and I feel much different than I was in the first few months working for this factory, now I usually look grumpy and present a "takes no B.S." attitude. I don't know, maybe I just need a longer break from this factory.
  9. as people say, the experience can be great, but the cleanup can suck, that's why I always shower afterwards, going from super messy to squeaky clean feels awesome.
  10. weird because when theres a need usually family understands and accepts, the thing with my mom is she knows I have no physical need.
  11. I think im being very considerate, as I said before, I don't impose with act or asking for money, and I handle disposal completely by myself (either its outside, or temporarily in my room and if smell seems to be getting strong sometimes I use air freshener), she doesn't have to like or agree with what im doing, just let me be.
  12. I don't mean to sound whiny, its just when someone approaches you from every angle you try to answer honestly, I guess ill make some effort to basically explain things to her, maybe she will relax a little afterwards , im not looking for a perfect situation, just her relaxing a bit about the whole thing.
  13. the thing is I can't even get messy that often, its usually just once a week and if im not in a hurry or inconvenienced by something (like say freezing weather, lots of snow) it usually goes outside in the garbage can when im done, by "having" to get messy I mean if I know im gonna need to poop I use a diaper (usually, sometimes it seems like it will be worse than others in which case I'd use the toilet) and most of the time I shower to get completely clean almost immediately, I really do try to leave as little impact, until recently she wouldn't even know when I was buying the majority of the time (except for one time when there was a crazy deal and we were outside of town (long after she knew I had an attraction to diapers, which ive never explained), she's the one that takes notice of something and decides to prod into the matter further.
  14. if by some sort of miracle they not only ship my order but make things right for such a delay I may order again, but again i dont think its gonna happen.
  15. While sometimes I think about indulging more when she isn't around its kinda hard to limit my indulgence to when she isn't around as we both work a lot, a lot of our hours overlap and the hours that don't are usually hours when I sleep. In any case I don't wear in any obvious way, especially not with them exposed or any obvious AB stuff exposed (like say a Onesie or Binky) and im not looking for total acceptance just some sort of "I don't walk around with a diaper clearly showing, and you don't complain about it" I buy them with my own money i put them on myself, I dispose of them myself, she doesn't need to contribute with money or with action, why can't it just be a "I do my thing, you do your thing" sort of situation? I think im very realistic, she only knows because she likes to pry and has found diapers/evidence of use at times, which wasn't completely my fault and I try to avoid those kinds of things.
  16. I never got an interview from dozens of places, the economy sucks and unfortunately it doesn't get better if things stay the same way (companies only seem to want to hire certain types of people, or people related to current employees, and then companies get cheap to limit payout to employees and maximize profits while working employees halfway to death for not enough cash, I work like crazy for 8.75 an hour), a better economy starts with more jobs and higher pay (but apparently not higher minimum wage since I hear when that happens people think "people make more, so I can charge more")
  17. so im still living at home and my mom keeps trying to get me to stop using diapers, she used to try shaming, now she says she knows i can use the toilet, i dont get why its such a big deal, i have a life (even though so far its mostly doing stuff at home or working)
  18. Ive got like $35 of samples on order, but im not holding my breath on actually getting anything.
  19. ive been there like 7 months ago, could not find a job anywhere for a whole year, it sucks that most places seem to be a complete waste of time, I only had interviews at two places in that year, neither one gave me a shot.
  20. I just got some bad news a little earlier, my little brother is basically laid off, this means I will be paying out more in bills, its also unsettling as im still fairly new to the same company (although im direct and he's through a temp agency), temp agency says the company is downsizing, I'm hoping not for long, I know they are trying to expand, but it seems to take forever before they can get machines into a new food/liquid room (apparently they need to have it on paper what their intentions are in regards to what machines they will use and what product they will produce, and then it needs approval, no idea how long it takes)., the supervisors know my little brother does good work in certain areas and they know I do good work pretty much everywhere, not to mention the extra hours ive been giving them, I hate to think I might be permanently trapped doing the one product I really hate, but i guess if that's what happens ill have to make due and I hope him being laid off doesn't last long, and I hate even more to think i may be laid off soon if certain product lines lose contracts (they always move people around to wherever is a higher priority leaving certain areas way low on workers which put their orders way behind), which wouldn't be my fault as im just a production worker, and they only care in regards to maintaining "acceptability" , I hate just doing "acceptable" personally as I know most of the time better is easily maintained and I try to keep motivation to keep working as miserable as I may be sometimes and I try to not raise a fuss, although if I don't it feels like they think im an annoyance not worthy of listening to or giving an honest reply (the one day I got sent home early they implied they were trying to be fair, but it didn't seem like it, and still didn't days afterwards until I complained to the department boss, who had to talk to the low level supervisor before anything seemed to improve)
  21. Life can really suck and I find it actually sucks most of the time, im working on making my life better by working at my current job, though recently making a certain product is part of my misery, also sucks that the temp agency says the company I work directly for is downsizing (hoping its not for long as my little brother is basically laid off and him not working means I have to pay more of the bills), I must say having professional help can help a lot, if I didn't get professional help I may still be cutting myself. Here's to hoping things improve (you have to put work into it though)
  22. but then you have to question why there is nothing else they could do? I mean being a troll like that must be the most boring thing ever. I usually watch TV or play video games, but there's also playing sports, board games, card games, computer games, and just plain trying to have a life, making friends and hanging out with friends, and hopefully at some point getting a job.
  23. I am laughing at that joker and unlike in the past im not trying to get rid of my AB/DL side.
×
×
  • Create New...