goggius

I have always liked diapers and rubber pants since I can remember at the age of three. I was a bedwetter until the age of thirteen but my mother did not use diapers on me. I always remember waking up with wet pyjamas and sheets in the morning and my mother letting them air dry. The room I shared with my older brother reeked of ammonia. Every night I would put on my air-dried pyjamas with the scent of pee on them. The sheets and pyjamas would only be changed once a week but I was used to it and I didn't really think about using diapers. I wouldn't want to be teased by my older brother. I was always mesmerized by the sight of plastic pants and diapers on clotheslines back in the fifties and sixties but there was no opportunity to get any for myself.

Up until grade seven, I had trouble keeping my pants dry and there was always a telltale wet spot on the front. Sometimes, my bladder would just empty itself without warning and that was pretty embarrassing. I was teased by my classmates but that just made me stronger and able to endure that kind of thing. Eventually, I gained complete control both night and day. Every now and then throughout childhood, my thoughts would be filled with the fantasy of wearing diapers but I never told anyone because I knew that it was just not normal and felt that at some point in time it would go away and let me alone.

In university, I lived in residence and had no opportunity to indulge my fantasies about diapers. They didn't make disposables back then and I don't know what real incontinents used. I do remember making plastic pants out of bread bags in my hotel room one summer while I was working but again, no real breakthrough into wearing a real diaper.

It wasn't until I was married that I had the confidence and privacy to actually make diapers and plastic pants for myself. I told my wife about it before we were married and she accepted it grudgingly but wanted nothing to do with it. At first, I only wore them sporadically and enjoyed it. Like most DL's of that era, I thought I was the only one in the world with this strange interest but, in the early seventies, the Forum magazines came out with stories about people with a diaper fetish. Then came the Playpen Magazine and all the rest of it. I was elated that there were others out there and I subscribed until they stopped publishing soon after the internet became available to most people.

After the kids came on the scene, my interest waned a bit but at the age of 45 I finally decided that after a few binge/purge cycles, the interest was never going to go away and I might as well wear and wet as much as I wanted at night at least. So I began wearing every night and at the age of 64, I still go to bed diapered.

I have never met another DL much less talked with one and from what I have read, it can be pretty awkward talking about diapers and such. But I do like to come to this forum to hear what others have to say and my experiences mirror many of the stories of the members who post here. I feel we are very fortunate to have this site.