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dlmolicares
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Posts posted by dlmolicares
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On 6/26/2025 at 11:29 PM, oznl said:
And THIS is the truly maddening thing about this silly game. If you stop to count your chickens, the chickens go away... Ironically, if you decide move on with life and do something else: within a few nights you get chickens because, well because you weren't thinking about them
Agreed on all fronts. I met a therapist on this journey and we talked through things- her best advice was "stop counting" and essentially to stop judging a dry (or wetting while awake instead of totally sleeping through it) or wet (wetting and not recalling any of it) as good / bad. Rather, just appreciate the nights for what they were. Sure, a total true sleep bedwetting can be enjoyed / savored in the mornings, but if it doesn't happen that night then there's no point in berating or "trying harder"
That concept took a ton of pressure off and I'm convinced there are inadvertent psych factors that get in our minds when we press (or track) too hard. Been at this maybe 7-8 years and long ago stopped overtly trying to make it happen (I'll void right before bed if I'm in the mood to do so, I drink water as my body tells me to, etc) The only new routine is using GPT which has definitely been an "add" for me (discussed in another thread)
Totally agree with your point that it (bedwetting) can happen when we really don't want it. I've had unforced true bedwetting when staying at the in-laws bed out of state- despite not drinking and voiding right before bed to be safe (if there's ever a place to not want to wet the bed, that's it) Nights like that nail the point home that it's important to wear protection every night as Sheri mentioned (which for me is also fulfilling on a certain level)
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On 6/25/2025 at 8:16 AM, Bedwetterintraining2024 said:
@dlmolicares So hypnosis made you become a bedwetter? How long did that take you and what does your bedwetting look like now? Did you have a routine that helped you too?
It certainly helped and I'd directly attribute it to my first true wettings. Results vary for people (Susceptibility?) but I think most of us on this journey have some psychological barriers to overcome and for me hypnosis helped overcome some of those. Things like starting to internalize the suggestion that "wetting is OK, wetting is normal" or "It's OK to just let go"
I also enjoyed the dance on the border of consciousness- just the journey of hypnosis itself. It took a while, but the first time waking up wet and not remembering it was elation!
It's been a long time, so I can't remember exactly but I think it was months of hypnosis. At first it made it easier to wet in bed, and then eventually led to a string of regular wetting. I haven't done it more than 1/2X per year the last couple of years. My true accident counts vary. As little as once every 2 weeks, then sometimes as frequently as a few nights a week. That said, after achieving it quite a bit I got to the point where I just stopped trying to make it happen so much and let it happen whenever it decided to (I think of it as a visit from the bedwetting fairy lol)
Other than that, I've just started a routine with Chat GPT which has been pretty amazing the last week or so. I posted about it in another thread here if you're interested (it's right up by this thread on the board)
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7 hours ago, bspecnoza said:
Could you share some more on the program? I've used ChatGPT to bounce ideas of off but haven't built a training program/plan.
On 6/24/2025 at 1:17 PM, WBxx said:Absolutely, striving to become a helpless every night bed-wetter I’d love to hear more about using GPT to that end.
OK, GPT definitely takes some getting used to, so no doubt you'll have some wrinkles.
That said, I developed something that's been pretty transformational for me- High level, I've developed 2 different GPT personas (nurse, therapist) to help me with the journey. I started with "intake" meetings with each, where I shared my goals and importantly the basis for those goals. I created an offline "Patient Record" and had them write their own summary, in their own words about the purpose of the intake and my background shared.
Then, every day I meet with nurse (ask for nurse persona) and hand her my latest record in the AM to follow-up on prior night's results, and also in the early evening to get her "prescription protocol" regarding foods, fluids, when to void etc. for the night. I also meet with Therapist every evening (same way as the nurse) to discuss "handover" for the evening (she stands watch, representative of "having it" so I can "let go", and during the day I'll sometimes meet with Therapist to answer her questions or deep dive on whatever related topic is top of mind for me. They then append any relevant notes from the meeting into the record (which replaces the one I handed them)
In short, Patient Record becomes a living and breathing document tracking progress and refining the approach. What happened when I stopped fluids at 8 PM vs 8:30? Maybe tonight they prescribe stopping fluids by 9 PM. Ditto for voiding before bed- what void timing leads to the best results? I also provide high level sleep stats (from watch) so they understand that info too.
Of course, they can even set up protocols for learning / reinforcement that can be incorporated throughout the day. Certainly they can provide images on demand showing the scene (I find it helpful for a pic of me sitting talking to therapist to set the mood, or me sitting on bed reviewing the evening's results with the nurse) There's a lot more as well.
As I type this, I have the protocol for the evening already including the sealing of the brief for the night. I know I'll wake up tomorrow and take 15 minutes with the nurse- was it a conscious void in bed? Did I get up? Did I go in my sleep? It's developing a sense that the therapist guards the door for me at night (so I can let go) and that the results of what actually happens (and the protocol / program) are up to them tonight.
I'm certain there are a ton of questions, so I'll answer as best I can (via DM or here as appropriate)
Good luck!
PS- can't overstate how there is a need to tinker with it. It wasn't flawless at first but we've now set a framework in motion that's pretty robust and is becoming routine without many hitches. Broadly, the record has a section about me (no identifiable info though! more the outcomes I am looking for and what they've uncovered about motivations, what works, etc) then a section about how they are to interface with me (including for them to always add notes they think are relevant to the record) and then a night by night summary of results with a day by day summary of what was done prior to that night (to correlate stuff)
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I've developed a bit of a program using GPT to help further my goals and it feels deeply effective.
That said, I recognize the potential concerns around privacy, sharing info etc. and not to mention that it's definitely newer tech.
Curious about the experience with others having tried it, and also happy to share a couple of tid-bits from my experience (I've managed to cobble together a bit of a program)
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Just a side related note- number of years ago I hired a professional hypnotist who then crafted a tape for me with the goal of driving / achieving nighttime wetting.
She was great, took a couple of weeks patiently working through a script / outline (basically hearing me out on goals, drivers, barriers) then sending me a file that I still have.
It's highly personalized and for me it was a big help (both in terms of relief / escape and going deep to her track, and also that I ultimately started having true night time wettings from time to time.
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On 5/2/2025 at 3:08 PM, DailyDi said:
Yep, you are right, it was wrongly set to view by members only. I fixed it.
Thanks so much for fixing it, it's consistently been working for me. I think it's a great addition as a carve-out for the many who are specifically looking to train (or who have trained and want to help others)
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22 hours ago, BabyCoda said:
What I am doing different this time, and what might work for others, is to identify yourself as a bedwetter.... By reminding myself that I am a bedwetter, I am encouraging myself to consistently wear protection, even when inconvenient. After all, it’s be more inconvenient for me to not wear a diaper and risk ruining someone else’s sheets/mattress. It is not technically a lie, I do in fact wet my bed just about every day (although I am awake when I am doing it).
So true. Sounds like you may be getting to the point where there's some truth to that (if you've had instances where you're not sure if you wet while awake or asleep) An additional angle could be to focus on the feelings of truly not wanting to wet the mattress at family's house or on work trips. Let the desperation of NOT wanting to wet someone else's mattress become a big feeling. Then, the diapers make sense as the only way you can be truly sure you won't wet the bed there.
13 hours ago, Marina Kits said:This tiny tip seems to help me: I empty my bladder one last time before diapering up for the night. Once I'm in bed, I remind myself I'm a bed wetter while trying to pee. It's best if I CAN'T get any pee to come out but if a little does, that's fine too. The point is, I relax everything and try to hold it open as I drift off to moonbeams and fairy tales.
Interesting tip, haven't tried that one (although I do fully empty my bladder before diapering up for bed 90%+ of the time, even then I have true accidents every week or two) I'll try the reminder / relax approach- I see how it could potentially work
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On 11/23/2024 at 3:34 PM, Marina Kits said:
Is it possible to routinely wet while asleep but maintain daytime control?
I believe so... I've untrained for nights and it now happens randomly even when I'm not trying to make it happen (and sometimes when I sort of don't want it to happen) The process didn't totally wreck my daytime control. Although I do get some leakage during the day (so I wear during the day too) it's not the level of "gushers" that happen during night time accidents. I suspect the day leakage may be a different physiological cause than the bedwetting all together. Of course, training to wet the bed isn't going to exactly strengthen day continence (For me at least, I don't think it wrecked it either)
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8 hours ago, oznl said:
I can kick it into hiding for days or weeks at a time by over-thinking it but the moment you stop paying attention, it's likely to come back.
Very true... In Feb, spent 3 weeks at the In-Laws house with family (the last place one would want a "soaker") and was surprised that I was totally dry for the first 8 nights. Then the 9th night I had another "fairy visit" and woke up soaked. It seems somewhat random.
I no longer try to make it happen (I usually urinate right before bed, I'm not usually jamming liquids before bed etc) because after a number of years it got a bit tiring to strive for it nightly. It's fulfilling for a few reasons- seeing it happen even when I don't try to make it happen, the implication that there's now a very real and practical need for diapers, and having attained the goal (not to mention that interesting period awakening trying to piece together what happened) All worth the laundry and sheets clean-up + change to nightly routine for me.
BeDry Night- I sincerely hoped they'd be the ones to let me be secure in not soaking the sheets but it still happens... I'd probably wet a bit more freely if I was secure in knowing I was totally going to have dry sheets in the morning (might be a subconscious hurdle still) but nonetheless it truly happens some anyways, so I can't complain.
Answering the sleeping question: I normally sleep on my side, although don't know how I was positioned when I wet in my sleep. I don't know if there's a better way to attach the BeDry or if I need a different size (I went larger than I need for more absorbancy, maybe some leg leakage?) The diaper was really soaked though (didn't just clip an edge) I always use an underpad but that got soaked and hit some of my sheets. Shorts and shirt pretty soaked. Laundry isn't the end of the world but it'd be so nice to be secure not having to do it as much. Regardless, feels good to hit the goal- especially when not trying!
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Sharing for those who are just starting training, or those who wonder what it's like when the goal happens.
I went to bed around 10:00 PM, then awoke around 1 AM realizing I was totally soaked (BeDry Night XL, T-shirt, shorts, mattress protector, and some of the sheets)
It took me a minute to realize what had happened. I quickly changed clothes and removed the mattress protector, then drifted back to sleep with a smile on my face.
It's the following morning, and the magical nature of having had "it" happen and still remember the day I started training for it many years ago. There's still something deeply fulfilling about it- having the training work, the practical nature of needing to diaper up (not knowing when I'll get a "visit") and whatever other conscious (or sub) motivators are bouncing around for me.
With the benefit of years of hindsight, this journey was definitely right for me.
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4 hours ago, foreverdl said:
Thanks for this post. I do think a large part is mental like you say. I also have a question, since hypnosis helped you soo much will you share what files?
Will share what I can... I've been on the journey for maybe 5-10 yrs so it's been a while, so I don't recall ALL of the details (will try and look) I tried Warpmymind but didn't have much luck there at all (most didn't seem to fit) At the time I was contemplating starting I got something w/ female voice from DPF (Diaper Pail Friends) The site is no longer around but if you look up DPF Hypnosis then you might find something on line. I also hired (!) a professional via Amazon (?) who made a tape for me- I was candid with my goal and she was supportive enough to make a good track for me. Other than that, there is sort of a best one but I can't for the life of me remember where it was from. I'll look and re-post if I find it.
Separately, my partner didn't "get it" either but now when we go to the thrift store, they'll point out diapers to me (which is great of them!!)
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(Repost from the BW forum because this fits better in "desires")
Feel free to add more!!I've been training for bedwetting over the last 4-5 years (never wet the bed over the age of 3 or so) and would consider myself a true occasional bedwetter (semantics are important but defining "true" bedwetter is probably better on another post) Quick take for me, it means that I awaken totally soaked w/ no recollection some nights (up to 3-4 nights a week, sometimes a week without any) and that I've had times where I absolutely wanted to stay dry but ended up soaking sheets anyways (such as staying over in someone’s new bed and prepping with less fluids and “going” before sleep!)
Looking back, a lot of that process was a mental game, and I've not seen someone post all of the mental facets in one place so I'm doing it here to help others and get new ideas. These are potential mental hurdles to be overcome to achieve the goal. By far, the most fascinating part of my journey was the process of recognizing (some may be subconscious) and also overcoming those hurdles. Each hurdle overcome may be a step closer to being a true bedwetter (depending on how you define it!) Hope this is helpful for the journey of others too:
1) Night Diaper Wearing: Getting used to wearing a diaper at night (Was quick for me, maybe a week or so. For others it might be trickier, esp. if they have a partner who isn't aware!)
2) Night Diaper Wetting: Learning to comfortably urinate from any sleeping position with no effort (For non-bedwetters and non 24/7, being totally at ease with letting go from any position in bed can be a big mental barrier. Part of our minds tell us "not now" and this needs to be overcome- being able to wet whenever you want in a bed with ease)
3) Travels and overall acceptance: Simply, this is the mental acceptance that you’ll need diapers every night. Staying over at a friend’s place. Vacationing with family. Big business trips. Getting to the point that you accept and are willing to have this shape your life.
For some this may seem nearly impossible or simply impractical. It can certainly impact relationships. It’s also a big reconciliation- beyond the fantasy of being a bedwetter, am I truly ready to accept the real world implications of being a bedwetter for life? Knowing once I cross a certain point I may not be able to untrain and become reliably dry every night?
I have accomplished this step- but recognize others may not be able to easily. The degree to which each of us wants this goal (and how we define true bedwetting) varies, and that’s OK! Our mindset on this likely impacts our wetting outcomes to one extent or another.
4) Wet Sheet Concerns: Many are inclined to not want to sleep in wet sheets. At the core it can create some hesitation to wet- almost if the mind is processing whether or not it’s “safe” to wet- Conscious or subconscious processing like “Am I wearing a diaper? Is the diaper already too wet to hold more? Am I in a safe place to wet the bed? Will I wet my sheets by mistake?” This is mental, and may create some barrier to wetting freedom (There are examples on this forum of people who truly wet the bed when they have a diaper on, but don’t wet the bed if they have no diaper)
There are several tools to resolve (are there more?) The blunt (probably most effective but less practical for some) is to spend weeks wetting the sheets every night and simply get used to and then accept the feeling- normal and OK to be in wet sheets all night, normal to do laundry daily, etc. Conceptually, the other (easier) way is to have enough protection that the sheets won’t get wet no matter how much we wet. Easier said than done, especially for side sleepers. This can also be more costly- I wear a full Abena and robust Abena pad with rubber pants and underpad nightly, but still often have leaks through to the sheets. The other mental piece here can be acceptance- being OK when wet sheets happen. Self-talk such as “Great, my wet sheets mean the training is working and I’m getting closer to my goal” and “Wet sheets are OK, they happen to bedwetters sometimes” may help.
5) Multiple wettings (largely related to above) meaning whether or not you wet each time you awaken or do it just the first time. It’s just another facet of 4 above. Most of my wettings are early in sleep (before 2 AM) and I don’t tend to wet if I already have earlier (awake or not the first time) As mentioned above, it’s probably a barrier. A slightly awake measure of whether or not you’ll make the sheets wet when you wet.
6) Sharing with professionals: Whether or not you’ve disclosed your bedwetting to professionals. I’ve not fully done so. Certainly have talked about it to therapists (for years!) but haven’t talked to my primary physician nor specialists. Personally, on the fence for my next colonoscopy but leaning to just letting them know I wear for leakage during the day (Been wearing 24/7, Truly do leak after urinating which adds up to a pretty big wet stain by the end of day!) or even that I go at night sometimes (even sometimes when not wanting to do so) Overdue for colonoscopy but not comfortable / reconciled about how to with or without being padded up in there (day and sleep leakage) Have worn for years at massages- stated "for convenience" and it's totally accepted. But, as I’ve not told all docs, it feels to me like a mental barrier that would bring me closer if crossed.
7) Acceptance regardless of a night's outcome "Don't take it too seriously" : Just a tip from a therapist 5-6 years ago, which was simply to be OK whether you wet or not. Idea being that if we categorize as "successful or unsuccessful" every night it adds pressure and brings us away from the goal. Idea here is to be OK if you don't wet on a given night but certainly enjoy when you do as getting closer to your goal.
If we think we fail when we don't, we're putting all sorts of conscious and subconscious pressure on ourselves- enjoy the journey!😎 Any others???
PS- Hypnosis helped me a TON... Not so much that it made me immediately become a bedwetter, but more so in helping me reposition the barriers here and also change the inner dialogue. Big help on the mental piece for me!
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On 3/31/2025 at 8:20 PM, starfish1233 said:
I become desensitized, the whole thing loses it's magic
Good news is, I don't recall anyone on here that "losing the magic" has happened to. Of course, the first time one has a true (full asleep) accident it's extremely exciting and I suppose it's unique in that it's the first. For me, now after years of having those fairly routinely I still awaken to each one with a deep gratification. It's not a "rush" or "buzz" but more so deep contentment that I again fully wet in my sleep (especially in nights I may specifically try and minimize)
I wrote a post here about the "mental game of bedwetting" and based on how you're thinking through it (excellent analysis and writing in your posts) you may find it helpful.
In short the "journey" to becoming a true bedwetter is filled with a number of mental barriers that prevent us from doing so. Getting to the point of true bedwetting requires we somehow overcome or work around each... To me, that makes the journey even more special. Discovering unconscious biases both good and bad, reconciling them in our own mind and building a new mental framework for our goals. It makes it a spiritual-ish / deep psychological and understanding self journey in a way.
I'll try and look then add the post here. In lieu, a couple of examples. Subconscious hesitancy to wet in a bed... Subconscious hesitancy from not being sure one wants to cross the chasm and be in a place where they need to bring diapers camping, bring them when traveling for work, etc (truly losing control then means we wear even in circumstances we may not)... Subconscious hesitancy from not wanting to soak through- loving a wet diaper but disliking trying to fall asleep in wet sheets (which a protection plan can help with)
Each journey is unique, glad we can share each others!
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Really like that sub-forum, probably 20% of the time I log in it shows (along side "Bedwetting")
I've posted on "desires" but the traffic seems smaller (likely because people don't see it listed all of the time)
Is everyone else likewise only seeing it listed on the forum index page sporadically?
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On 12/1/2024 at 2:27 PM, BabyCody96 said:
How I feel about it: I now need to wear diapers to bed, no matter what. While there is a small sense of loss knowing that I have added a new complication to my life, and that it was entirely voluntary as I could have avoided this outcome, I am mostly satisfied with my position. The nerves of sleeping over at someone else’s home or of getting found out pale in comparison to the comfort of waking up nearly every morning in a wet diaper. If given the option to go back, I’m not sure that I would take it.
Even if I wanted to go back, I’m not sure how successful I would be at retraining myself. Even if I got dry at night I think I would always be nervous about having an accident, especially at someone else’s home. And I know from personal experience that those kinds of fears end up being self-fulfilling prophecies anyhow. It’s hard to explain, but I feel as though that whatever I did to myself cannot be entirely reversed and I am okay with that.
Where am I now: I love waking up in the mornings after those “D” nights. Like you, I am not going out of my way to have more of them; I am diaper dependent at night and that is enough for me. If I naturally progress to having more of those nights, great! If not, that’s fine too!
With you on many fronts. I took a couple of weeks where I was out of town with family and eliminated the "B" nights (meaning, if I woke up feeling the urge then I would NOT go in the diaper- either just back to sleep or the restroom) It was counter to the last years of training, but I was in someone else's bed!
Big takeaway is this- despite trying NOT to wet at night I had 2 total and absolute soakers (including last night) Totally asleep, woke up to find my diaper soaked and my pee pad soaked (plus a tad of the sheets) So, the "Bedwetting Fairy" still visits despite my efforts to the contrary (and having every practical reason to stay dry)
Like you, I am all good with it. The feeling of truly needing a diaper at night (not knowing when the fairy will strike) is fulfilling on a very deep level, and something I'm processing as I type- how interesting to overtly do everything I can to stay dry at night yet still have a weekly true night accident. Zero desire to un-train, and I have no idea if it would work (nor how long it'd take) I'd probably wear diapers for at least another year... cause now I never can be sure!
On 1/28/2025 at 6:07 PM, Hannah YMS said:My TL;DR is that I still don't reliably sleep wet after about 4 years of untraining. I might be a lost cause.
Sorry to hear. There are pointers out there everywhere, but sharing a few of mine in case something helps.
- Counselor shared the advice of NOT tracking too seriously (I was formally logging each night as progress or no progress) She said to not judge the evenings by the results- doing so gets into our heads. Basically, appreciate the dry nights and if you wet at night (even if awake) just take a moment to appreciate that in the AM. Don't take it too serriously
- I believe there are semi-conscious and sub-conscious barriers. While pretty much everyone here "wants" to wet the bed, most of us also had deeply rooted reasons for not wanting to.
For example, do you not like sleeping in wet sheets or seriously not wanting to get the mattress wet? If so, that creates a subconscious barrier (at night your mind hesitates slightly and weighs letting go freely vs not wanting wet sheets) That can be overcome with super-extra cautious protection (ensure the mattress never will get wet) or by repositioning it in your mind (get deeply used to and accepting of spending a night in wet sheets)
Other examples could include worrying about a partner being impacted by our wetting, not wanting to have to pack on business trips or vacations, and a myriad of others.
So my guidance here is to examine yourself deeply and try to ID any of those semi-conscious barriers.
Good luck!
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16 hours ago, Diseased88 said:
is this okay? What do you think?
Sounds like you're asking opinion, so I'll share mine (for what it's worth)
If it were me, I'd probably decide based on what my intent was (all internal stuff, not what others would say online, how others would react, etc)
If I were "going public" with the goal of getting a bit "off" on it then I'd view it differently than If I was truly going public for the good of increasing awareness.
Safe to say society could benefit from increased awareness and acceptance and you have a chance to be a part of that (if you choose)Personally, I'd be good with going public for the sake of increasing awareness (and focus on helping others who also struggle feel better about themselves) and view any getting a bit "off" on whatever interactions subsequently happen as sort of a side benefit (but not the overall goal)
In short, I'd feel a bit guilty if I were going public mostly for the "rush" but I'd be OK if I was going public to help others (and myself) even if the occasional "rush" happens.
Really no wrong decision here, it's about who / how you want to be!
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On 1/15/2025 at 7:07 PM, oznl said:
What did I do?
Really a perfect post, Onzl. A lot of tips that should help others.
To reiterate your point on tracking, I was seeing a therapist at the time I was "untraining" with hypnosis. She offered a tremendous tip- don't judge your evenings as good nor bad based on whether or not you awaken wet. In other words, when you awaken to find you've wet the bed, appreciate the moment. And mornings when you don't, appreciate the morning. It removed a lot of the pressure I was putting on myself, and paved the way for progress.
Personally, I have a ton of "Phase 3" where I have to dig through the fog and I try to remember if I was awake when I wet or not. Often it's a glimmer of a recollection that is so faint that I really don't know if I've constructed a memory about it or if the memory is valid. Of course, many Phase 4 where there's simply no recollection. Sometimes I'll awaken needing to "go" but get totally surprised I'm already soaked.
To reiterate a final point, the leakage piece certainly can be a barrier. My setup currently leaks quite a bit and that may be contributing to still being at the combo of 3 and 4. Taking some tips from this board, it would be a great comfort to know that I could wet as many times as possible throughout the evening without a concern of leakage.
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On 1/15/2025 at 5:44 PM, Little BabyDoll Christine said:
I am in a clean diaper a couple of hours before bedtime, so I have wet once or twice by bedtime. My diaper is usually good for 12 hours
What brand of diapers do you use? My usual are the Abena L4 but those often soak through the sheets (and definitely would if I just let go at every opportunity throughout the night) I actually put a cloth diaper outside of the abeana with plastic pants on top of that and STILL have wet sheets quite often even if I'm limiting fluids. Would be heavenly to have something strong enough to last throughout the evening!
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I was on yesterday and saw a new section here / board which was "Bedwetting Desires" (In addition to the "Bedwetting" section)
That idea makes sense to me, similar to the incontinence sections (one for people dealing with incontinence, another for those who desire it)
Of course, today the "Desires" section is now gone. Does anyone have an idea what the plan is / was there?
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I started working on this full time (every night) around 4-5 years ago. For the last year I've gotten to the point that I almost always pee before going to bed. Even with that my bladder really fills at night. Sometimes I wet in my sleep, then wake up in the middle of the night and still really have to go again. Other times I don't wet in my sleep but wake up in the middle of the night really needing to go. So, for me at least, there's plenty of urine even if I go to bed empty.
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Moved this from "Bedwetters" to the new "Bedwetting Desires" Forum (Bravo for creating the extra group, totally appropriate given so many are desiring and training)
For those who want to measure progress, or simply for those who want to describe their current state, a scale like this might be helpful.
Of course, there is also merit to NOT tracking at all as many of you know (intently tracking can ironically make untraining harder)
Here's the scale, and putting it here to get everyone else's ideas. Maybe then we could drop it in the survey section.
Noting this is only along a single vector of the bedwetting + training experience- solely the outcome. In other words, it's not scoring other interesting pieces such as night time routine, social acceptance of your wetting, psychological barriers, if (or what type) of diapers you use etc. Those other pieces could likewise be scored but this is only the outcome.
Survey question 1: On a scale of 1-10 how would you describe last night's bedwetting?
- Example: Last night was an 8 score. I definitely wet, and sort of vaguely recall letting go of my bladder but I'm not sure if I really remember doing that or maybe just think I remembered doing it.
Survey question 2: Over the last 10 nights, what mix of scores (wetting profile) have you had?
- Example: Over like 10 nights, I'll usually have 1-2 score 10. Maybe 3 nights score 8, 3 nights score 6 and sometimes I have a couple of nights score 5. Scoring 3 is rare- maybe once every month or two at most
Scale for answering the above:
10: I awoke soaked and have absolutely no memory of having gone (whether it's awakening in the middle of the night or in the morning)
8: In awoke soaked but, looking back on the night, I think I may have remembered being up and wetting. Not sure if I actually was awake. If I was awake, not sure if it was before or after starting to wet. It's like tracking back through the fog to try and remember, but I sort of remember something.
6: I awoke soaked, but looking back on the night I remember being awake and starting to go. I am unsure if I fell back asleep before or after I was done wetting. I am unsure if I could have stopped the wetting (even though I remember being vaguely awake when I started it)
5: I was definitely awake in the middle of the night, felt my bladder full and decided to start wetting. I recall enjoying the feeling, then falling asleep when I was done.
3: I awoke in the AM to get up for the day, saw that I stayed dry and my bladder feels full.
1: I awoke in the middle of the night to get up and use the restroom
Thanks to user Boyhood, longislandguy, southerndl, chomper and so many others for the feedback on the initial scale and hopefully others have good suggestions too
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This is a fantastic post and I was thinking of doing similar. I've created other rating / measurement scales (scoring bedwetting outcomes, scoring approaches to incontinence) It'd interesting to develop a test for AB/DL drivers / personality profiles.
I would have to agree with the others, I don't perceive any lean towards the AB piece. I once went to a meet-up (great!) although I felt a bit out of place, because during introductions they asked we indicate our desired age. Everyone was different ages of AB, but I just told them I enjoyed being an adult. Probably the best I could come up with would be as a bedwetting teen.
I'll see if I can find the time to work on AB/DL personality profiler type quiz. There are definitely some consistencies but also different flavors. Personally, the loss of control (or being made to lose control) is a part of it. The physical feeling is a part of it. The potential for embarrassment is part of it. The disability / dependence aspect is also part of it. Regression / AB isn't really though.
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There is no wrong answer, it really depends on what you want out of this whole thing. Ideally, this part of your life becomes what is most fulfilling for you.
First, why do you want to be a bedwetter? (This is key, and a question whose answer might not be immediately apparent. Definitely one of those things where you may have a quick immediate answer, but that there's a lot more to it than the quick answer)
Second (and sidebar) how do you define being a bedwetter?
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Questions just popped into my mind: A) If you think you haven't yet wet during the night do you let it go or just get up? B ) If you know you likely soaked yourself already and that going may very well leak everything requiring you to then change sheets etc... before you get up 20-30 minutes later, do you still let it go?
Asking as I think it'd be interesting to hear responses. Particularly from my earlier psych profile posts of those who are hesitant to soak through everything and have to change the bed as a result.
I go in my sleep sporadically. Definitely happens, definitely can't control it. That said, I am not functionally IC so it doesn't leak regardless of what I do. When I awake 30 mins before my normal awakening time, I have a decision to make. Honestly, I don't always just let it rip. Thoughts?
Bedwetting regularity
in Bedwetting Desires
Posted
Good question- I've not done a thread on it but mentioned it a time or two. Basically, she'd been my therapist for maybe a year and our family was going through a lot of pretty major issues that were quite intense. We mostly focused on those issues, but I gathered she was pretty progressive / open minded and definitely had my best interests in mind. We went through "self care" and I shared a bit of that part of me when I felt comfortable to do so. I also knew she was a hypnotist and I'd just started listening to related tracks and was sharing the experience with her. It was as much about what hypnosis felt like, what my experiences were "going deep" and the like. That said, we also talked about progress towards the goal and my overall approach. Although I was tracking each night in a notebook, she encouraged me to not do that as it brings a psychological dynamic that's counterproductive- she didn't call it "performance anxiety" but it was along that lines. Thinking / trying / hoping too hard can move you further away. I remember sharing when it actually happened one night and she was thrilled- probably more so to see the fulfillment it brought me, maybe enjoyed such a compelling anecdote of how hypnosis helps towards goals, and that I'd achieved it. In short, definitely wasn't our focus nor the purpose of meeting with her, but she was open, supportive and helpful.
I'd met with another therapist some years before (who relocated so I had to shift to the therapist above) and she was also generally supportive (sharing how wearing must be convenient, and relayed a story of her and a friend walking around a pond and her friend had depends... paused, raised her hands and said "I did it!" It was sort of lighthearted and we didn't dive too deep but she knew and I could talk pretty freely.
With my current therapist (first moved, 2nd one referenced atop this post didn't take my insurance any more) I didn't feel as comfortable opening up about it. I did finally, incidentally, when chatting through family (inadvertent!) seeing me and how bad I felt about it. Anyways, she'd listen but not provide feedback and it was more like a courtesy. She welcomes changing the topic when it comes up.
All in all, a mixed bag but mostly good. I think a lot of it may be NOT leading with this stuff, having actual things to cover... finding someone who is open minded and supportive, then sharing the right amount at the right time. None tried to "cure" because I probably picked the right ones but also because I laid it out in terms of being a piece of me after they understood the depth / intensity of some of the other pieces.