Sir Stinkypants

Do you believe in magic? I'm not talking Merlin, more like ESP. You sound like someone with a naturally "commanding" or "charismatic" personality, something I associate with higher-level auras. I am such myself...ever have another person for no reason known to you hand you their leash metaphorically speaking? We of dominant energy (because of psychological factors, often low self-esteem) often seek to be passive (I do myself in many cases), but we do so by dominating others into dominating us... Personally, I am bi, and all those other labels are meaningless to me, too. I'm glad you enjoy being babied, if only because we have that in common, but "Adult Baby" is a term that is almost exclusively self applied and is thus highly subjective. I know much of my interest in such things comes from a desire to in some emotional senses regress to a previous point in my development, a "golden time" of infancy when love comes without care or responsibility. That is how I and many others define the term "Adult Baby," but as with most things there are big differences between one person's concept of what that is and another's. Oddly enough, I became aware of all of this because concepts surrounding diapers and infancy seemingly inexplicably caused sexual arousal from early adolescence, I am only now fully exploring the other, more purely emotional side. So you could say I was a DL and am now an AB, but I suspect in truth I was always AB (at least in the sense of what that means to me) with incomplete understanding. I wonder how many are like me, and for similar reasons, but even more I wonder what all the variations on AB and DL have in common at the heart of the matter. Human psychology is not actually a science, because it is impossible to by experiment isolate variables in an individual's development except perhaps with a human guinea pig. We are all therefore complex bundles of psychological factors, and it is scientifically impossible to prove what is causing what absolutely. Psychologists must therefore work with likelihoods and observation of numerous individual cases to develop theories, and therefore so must we...They are very fond of labels in the profession of psychology, but I will point out to you what I would to them; giving a name to a phenomenon does not explain it. Look up "Borderline" in any psychology resource, and tell me you believe that label describes a single phenomenon. Nonetheless, some of the answers ARE there, if we discover how to view the matter just so...or dare to... When we do find a causal scenario that fits, we KNOW when it's truth...often it's the idea we then fight against most of all. Happy reflecting, and keep those posts coming!

Interesting stuff, keep it coming! All opinions and ideas are welcome, though, like you, I am free to disagree. I used to think many of my problems or oddities were genetic, but then I had a chance to get to know a young woman who changed my views on such things forever. She was a victim of both child abuse and childhood sexual abuse, and in getting to know her and delving into her story some very interesting things were revealed, not just about her but about me as well. I am not a victim of child abuse or sexual abuse, but there were nonetheless parts of her story that rang serious bells and caused me to re-analyze the entire nature and function of human psychology. It is simpler and more causal than I had ever imagined; more logical. There are many factors, and differentiating what means and what had what effect is the difficulty. In the lady's case I mentioned above, her psychological difficulties were so extreme that the causal relationships weren't as mysterious as they usually are, and, though she had lived a very different life than I, still there were developmental problems we had in common. It opened a door to the inner workings of myself that I had never known...I would share her gift, if I could...and if there are others who truly wish to know Nature and nurture is what we are, you are correct Sarah AB, but which is which? THAT is the question!

Nice! I used to be much the same in my earlier DL only period. I too am very likely a coprophiliac, as is my "mommy" most probably. It is only fairly recently that I started discovering the manifold joys of ABism, both beyond and including the sexual. I don't mean to infer anything about you, Goden, 'tis a pleasure to share at least part of my love of a poopy diaper with a worthy soul...

Thanks again to everyone for posting! Anyone else finding this a fascinating discussion? I'd like to briefly respond to a few of the ideas presented, these responses are in no particular order. Please do not infer that if your post is not addressed here, that it won't be in future or that I find it of little importance. Everyone's story is important, as is everyone's understanding of him or herself; remember that your story can be educational and inspirational to others struggling to understand their AB and DL tendencies. I would like to reiterate that this is intended as a discussion free of blame and judgement, for those seeking enlightenment about the hows and whys of their becoming ABDL. I do NOT mean to suggest that there is anything wrong with indulging these tendencies as pleases you, indeed I believe that for myself AB play is therapeutic and informative... Before addressing anyone's specific post, I'd like to advance a general psychological concept: A large proportion of who we become as adults is dictated by factors of our development in early childhood. The social interactions we have at that age teach us how to interact socially throughout life; they become the foundation upon which we build the rest of our identities. We learn the rudiments of emotional coping at this time, and the rudiments of our self-image are formed. We do learn by instruction and questions, but mostly by passive observation. This is also the period of our lives when we wear diapers with no need or concept of shame or embarrassment, it is not difficult to see how an emotional association between diapers and emotional security might be formed that might last into adulthood. Have you ever spent time with a child of 2 or 3 or 4? I have, and I've noticed that they have this curious pattern to the way they perceive the world, based on what appears to be an innate pattern of development. Kids at that age ask questions, and it is not hard to observe that these questions, at least taken together, are not random. Rather, they revolve around very specific subjects: What is a girl, and what is a boy (i.e. what is my gender role in this society, and what is the other role?)? What is "big boy/girl" or adult and what is babyish? Who are my role models, and how do they behave? There seems to be a universal directive to be curious about these things at certain points, or "phases", in our development. The lessons that we learn via these curiosities in early childhood, good or ill, stay with us... Many of us (myself included) are AB, DL, or both because, for one reason or another, we have as Spark put it, "an innate reluctance to grow up." Not innate, I think, learned, but the concept is sound. Emotional factors revolving around security tie directly to sexual proclivities of all sorts later in life; we are turned on by things that fill certain sorts of emotional needs... So, on to specific posts: First off, a pleasure! Second, I do not agree that memories are all lies. Taking them as strictly factual is dangerous, but they are important clues to one's inner self. It is at least as important that you chose to remember one event and not others as it is what you specifically remember. In a real sense, our memory is the only context we have for ourselves, who we are is largely defined by where we've been and what we've experienced (even to ourselves). Even if we have memories that are contrary to fact, the way in which they diverge from said fact is telling about ourselves and how we've chosen to interpret our experiences. Such non-factual memories can actually be more informative than things we know actually happened. As for your specific case, I don't presume to tell people how they are...that's up to you! I have dated people with BDSM tendencies as well as fellow ABDL's, and my observations suggest that both have a psychological basis. Though not but so into bondage myself, I do enjoy being dominated in various ways sexually. I think that in myself and the others I have known, there seems to be a somewhat understandable link between an enjoyment of what might be described as "self-negatory" sexual behaviors (things the average person might interpret as abusing oneself or encouraging others to do so) and low self-esteem. I don't interpret these things as abuse, they are pleasure for those who take pleasure in them, but they do speak of something deeper. I do not know you, and I do not presume to tell you how you are or how to be. I also have not the slightest thought of ill judgement, more power to all things that please you so long as they harm no one else... I respect that you don't have the need that I do to understand why we are what we are. That you enjoy these things seems to be enough for you, and that's enough for me...enjoy some for me! But this IS a discussion of the origins and psychology of ABDL... Hi, Kitten AB! I actually find your story adorable, as well as an understandable association (a girl surely has every right to be frilly if she wants to ). As much as I like my diapers and using them, I have nothing but sympathy for those forced into them by failures of the body. I'm not sure whether if that makes you AB in the sense of this discussion, though of course we are all permitted to self-define. Do you enjoy playing the role of a baby or toddler, beyond your necessary diapers? Does being in your diapers or using them please you? There seem to be all sorts of variations on AB and DL, probably dictated by the infinite variations of human psychological development. Nonetheless, it is a pleasure to have met you, I enjoyed your post. Keep in touch! Lots of parallels with my story, mike indiapers, thanks for posting this. I too discovered my ABDL self in the age before the internet (thinking of posting a thread about this for other older ABDLs). I've never been the sort of person to worry overmuch about what others might think, and I could not deny the erections I got from fantasizing about it or playing with diapers or whatever (the emotional side I only figured out later, though it was always there). So I rolled with it...it was a marvelous revelation when I first did see all the ABDL websites, I rather miss the Diaper Pail Friends! As for psychology, I can definitely see how you could have developed a desire for a sort of nurturing you were denied by your mother, especially as your IBS had you dealing with diapering somewhat later than most of us and you had the opportunity to observe more intimate mother/toddler relationships. I may respond to your post again, or feel free to continue your story. How 'bout ya, everyone else? Why do YOU like to be a big kid? Not HOW, WHY?

Thanks so much to everyone for such fascinating responses! Keep them coming, please, this is great! It seems I am not alone in my ponderings of the reasons behind what is in most ways an irrational set of desires. Fun and wondrous, surely, but curious and seemingly somewhat short of making sense. Admit it, people: it's awfully hard to explain something like this to another when you don't understand it yourself. I will take this opportunity to point out the incompatibility of blame and judgement (of oneself or others) with understanding. Understanding is instructive and useful, blame and judgement are only negative... I agree with you, BriGuy, one should relax and let it be...or rather one should explore it, which includes taking all the pleasure it has to offer, but also offers an opportunity at insight into the deeper self from which these desires come. I'm sure many AB's and DL's would prefer to enjoy their pleasures in ignorance of their root causes, and more power to them if that is their (or your, if this is you) desire. For myself, simply put I believe that self-discovery is the ultimate and paramount purpose of life, and I see no conflict between enjoying this facet of myself fully and seeking to understand where it comes from. Different strokes for different folks I suppose, but none of us understand ourselves as well as we think and I think questions are healthy... But again, I both expected and do respect anyone's desire to indulge without such questions... For everyone else, I will very likely respond to a few other specific posts soon. I will also continue the discussion of my own tale, or yours! I cannot overstress how fascinating I am finding everyone's posts, please keep 'em coming!

I have to say it: dude, that's HOT! Thanks for sharing that!

Yeah, clean-up can be icky...helps muchly to have someone to do that for you, else the fun is somewhat dampened for me. People who in any sense enjoy changing the poopy diapers of others is pretty rare at least to my knowledge. I know I am very lucky to have found someone like that, for I would not burden anyone with such a task if it did not please them. Nonetheless, do not give up hope for such people do exist. I myself have role-played daddy in real life, and, though my little girl sadly never tried pooping, I suspect I would have enjoyed it if she had...and happily cleaned up after her... I rarely poop or really wear diapers at all if mommy's not around...

Hiya folks! I have been a DL for many years and have only recently started exploring (and really enjoying) being an AB. This change has occurred largely because I started dating a woman several years my senior, and, though she had never before been into diapers and such before now, she finds both great emotional satisfaction and sexual stimulation from playing the role of mommy for me. In recent years, I have been gaining some enormous insights into my own psychology in other ways, and have been finding that through my AB experiences that I am gaining yet more. I believe I can at this point shed at least some light on why I am an ABDL, and I thought this might be illuminating to others with AB tendencies seeking to understand themselves as well as an interesting topic for discussion. A good primer for a psychological discussion on infantilism may be found at http://littleab.com/abinfo.html, it is actually the one from the now defunct DPF website that seems to have been borrowed. My own case is different than those discussed, but there are important notions discussed here. Basically, I am an AB primarily because of elements of how my psychology developed in early childhood. My mother and I had an unusually close emotional relationship throughout my childhood; she was my best friend through much of it, and a needed defender from my rather angry and violent older sister. She was also a juxtaposition to my father, who was rather emotionally distant from both she and I (and pretty much everyone). He was also in many ways married to his work, and thus not around much. In some ways, it might be said I took over my father's proper role of emotional support for my mother far too young, indeed I was to take over most elements of the "man of the house" role somewhat younger than appropriate. My parents remained married until I was 14, but they were not close through that whole period to my recollection. My dad does not really now how to relate to people emotionally even now, so you could say that he is incapable of being close to anyone. This is due to his own psychology, and as such blame is inappropriate. He was never an abusive man nor a Mr. Macho, and I've never really doubted that he loves me. He just finds emotional matters very difficult to express and to receive, and as such I pity him. I think in some ways we are closer now than we ever have been, which is still not that close... As for ABism, there are several factors discussed above that play into it I think. I am told I was resistant to potty training; it was not achieved until I was almost 3 and then with a threat to keep me out of pre-school. I think this resistance was partly due to the prospect of losing that special bonding ritual of the diaper change with my mother, partly due to not wanting to be "big boy" if that meant being like my father, and partly because of a third factor I have yet to mention. In my study of myself and my childhood, I have discovered what appears to be a power relationship between my mother and myself that I have until recently been unaware of. The child depending on the mother emotionally is natural; the mother depending on the child emotionally is probably not so. Whether or no, it gives the child power over the mother he or she would not usually have. What do you suppose happened when that power was challenged by the first time in life anything was really expected of me? There were of course other manifestations to this "I don't want to grow up" mentality, many of which persist to this day. I was big into stuffed animals rather long into my childhood, for instance; I slept with a stuffed killer whale into my 20's (still not sure why I stopped, saved a perception that girlfriends might find it unmanly). There are also numerous examples of how I psychologically try to duck adult responsibilities, often with disastrous results. There are elements to my maternal relationship that are similar to (though surely not the same as) sexual abuse, especially if you factor in the freudian association of mother and lover (I am male, so the more so). I'd swear she was more than a little jealous of my first girlfriend (which seemed strange at the time), and it was about then that the closeness we had once enjoyed came to a close. I do not for a moment believe my mother meant me any harm by anything she did, or even realized the potential for such. But as a human being and a woman in a loveless marriage, an offer of real intimacy from someone she'd be expected to be intimate with on some level anyway was probably irresistible. She has her own psychological scars that left her open to such a thing, and, though I perceive harmful effects to some parts of our relationship, it is far more useful to correctly perceive what happened than it is to lay blame. We are still pretty close today, and we discuss these things (not the AB side of it!) I am finding being an AB both instructive and therapeutic. My "mommy" is in some ways like my mother, indeed my lovers always have been in one way or another. If people get into this thread, I'll post more about her psychology, but suffice it to say she is a willing and even enthusiastic mommy. In playing out the baby role (toddler, actually) moreso than ever before, I am able to perceive a similar affection and power relationship to the one I must've had with my mother at that age. Marvelously instructive! It's therapeutic in the sense that if I'm allowed to be a complete baby sometimes, I can be a more complete big boy when dealing with the big bad world. So, what do you folks think? Anything ring a bell about my story, or possibly you can offer a different analysis? We can discuss me, but I'm really interested in YOUR ideas about where YOU think YOUR AB tendencies come from. Look forward to reading about it! Oh, and feel free to ask questions, make comments, etc. I will post more if we get a good discussion going!

Hey there, all! What is your favorite scenario to poop your diapers? What circumstances? What physical position do you prefer? What fantasies or thoughts surround this act for you? What do you do afterwards when you're messy? Do you enjoy being poopy, the feel. the smell, etc., or are you immediately in need of a change? For myself, I like to play it like the toddler I try to regress myself to. I like to be going about whatever my usual business is, and, as I feel the pressure build, I pause for a moment. Typically and preferably I am standing or walking. I merely stand for a moment, shift my hips slightly backward and bend my knees a little, and push. This is much like real toddlers I have observed, and, like they do, I sometimes I squat to finish up. Pooping standing makes it a bit difficult to get it all out, so I can either squat or be reasonably assured that later diapers will be stinky, too (with neither my mommy nor I have any problem with!). I then like to sit down in it, lovely squishy messiness, and the smell is something of the excitement factor. Most actual toddlers I have seen seem to give the event of pooping some small attention, after which the poop in their pants is ignored and they go about their business as though it isn't there. I like this approach, and I thus like to be stinky for at least a little while, with changing time dictated by my mommy. There is something of a sexual thrill to the whole thing, the naughtiness & irresponsibility are quite aphrodisiacal, and mommy and I oft engage in sexual pursuits before or during changing. I prefer natural pooping to enemas, laxatives, etc, and of course 'tis always nice when it's relatively solid and the odor is within reason... How about you? What's your take on pooping?

Hi there! Welcome to our world!

Welcome! Yay!

I prefer the standing slight-crouch of the toddler myself...squatting feels a little like cheating, save sometimes to finish...

I too have tried messy diaper sex, and I must say it is glorious! I go through the leg gather so it's all trapped in there with me, and mommy pushes my mess tight into my butt...life doesn't get much better for an AB/DL! She's been known to look after my needs rather thoroughly at diaper change time, too. It helps of course if both parties get off on the aroma somewhat... Not everyone's bag, I know, but we enjoy it!

Lovely, all the way around! A great story, full of resonance for me. Thanks so much for sharing it! I too have a mommy who changes my poopy ones, and yes, I know how lucky I am. Seems like you do, too, on both counts. I rejoice in your good fortune! I have also taken the liberty of borrowing a few ideas...being made to stand in the corner to finish is quite a compelling notion, for instance, under scrutiny even better...will be trying both, I think...again, thanks Mike! Hope to see you around the forum...tho maybe I'll smell you first ? Or you I?

Baby steps to become his baby...seems appropriate somehow. Lovelylittle has much good advice; as with most things in a relationship, communication is key. Ask him what if anything he enjoys about your baby role play, and try to build on that. Explore the possibilities, both for yourself and together, and see where it takes you. Hugs and happiness to you and your daddy! Do keep up the updates!

The poem is absolutely beautiful, Amphetamenace, as is your story. I too hope you find someone who understands and appreciates this facet of you along with all the others. This is a big world full of all sorts of characters, more of us are big babies at heart than you suppose. Luck & love!

I always find it tragic to flush a good poop...I'm only a weekend baby usually, and it always seems such a waste to see a nice solid load I might've had some fun with uselessly circle the bowl. It's a curious thing; everybody pees & everybody poops, but few of us are blessed with the ability to derive additional pleasure from these inevitable acts of elimination...

I can't say I find the smell of my poop (or anyone elses's) to be good or pleasant, but I do enjoy it and am aroused by it as part of the overall diaper experience. I also like to fully regress; what comes out comes out when I'm in diapers. It is a lot less objectionable when the poop is firmer, both for feel and smell, but poopers can't always be choosers! I would be more than a little disappointed by an odorless poop, I would feel robbed of much of the nastiness and naughtiness that makes it fun...

If I am diapered, usually a weekend thing, I poop. When playing with diapers by myself, I too had something of a love hate relationship...loved the naughtiness and and nastiness (actually the smell, if not too overpowering, is part of the charm of the experience), disliked the clean-up. For one thing, it is simply very difficult to reach and see onesself down there well enough, even more difficult to do so without making a mess outside the diaper. I see the beauty of the shower solutions a few folks have noted. Changing onesself is not ideal whatever one has done, for of course real babies have someone to do that for them. Not to make too many folks jealous, but my mommy does all my changes (has her own AB/DL interests), including the messy ones. And yes, tcc & Goden, I have had messy diaper sex, too...marvelous, and mutually appreciated, likely to try that again....

Hi, everybody, I'm Sir Stinkypants! I've been interested in both the AB and DL sides of things since adolescence, and have played with diapers numerous times in numerous ways over the years. I have worn (and used) them myself from time to time throughout my life though never regularly. Long ago I acted as sometime daddy to one adult baby girlfriend, which I enjoyed immensely. There is a definite sexual element to diapers and babying for me, which I know some of you share and some do not. I am very open-minded and open-hearted; I can definitely see how some might prefer a somewhat "purer" sort of babying...hugs to you if that describes you, and hugs to those like me, also... I had not pursued my interests in these matters for several years (I am 34, going on 2), indeed the whole thing had seemed to lose some of its charm, but then recently I started dating a woman a few years my senior. Now, I am an unusually perceptive individual in some ways, but somehow I became aware that my lady had an interest in mothering me that went considerably beyond offering me food. There were little hints, but really it was as though she had read my fantasy straight from my mind. She's been my mommy ever since, and I now have the rare and wondrous opportunity to explore what it is to be an adult baby with a loving mommy to change me and look after me. Honestly, I think I always found it hard to imagine their was anyone out there who would not only be willing but actually enjoy caring for me that way. Well, there is, and it is in many ways the most unique and intimate relationship I have ever been in... As for lifestyle, I am a weekend baby mostly, partly because that is usually when I am able to see my mommy and partly because babyhood is a cherished haven of escape I would much rather look forward to visiting than live in. Again, hugs to you if you are 24/7 by choice, extra hugs if you are 24/7 without the choice. And, of course, hugs to the part-timers like me. Hugs in fact to all for your welcome, that's enough for now! ~Sir Stinkypants P.S. Yes, the name is often literal