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ForbiddenFruit
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Posts posted by ForbiddenFruit
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On 12/6/2020 at 4:02 AM, Cute_Kitten said:
I think it'd be cool if there was a non-gendered term for parental unit, like how nibling is gender neutral instead of niece or nephew. I guess there is Care Giver, or Parent but they don't have quite the same ring as Mommy or Daddy.
I feel this. The closest I've heard (outside of 'caregiver') of course is semi-jokingly referring to the 'Sugar [Daddy / Mommy]' equivalent as a Glucose Guardian.
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*wiping a tear from my eye*
Now I can only be fired for being a 'poor culture fit'.
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On 1/9/2020 at 11:15 AM, DL_Matt said:
Gay DL guy here!
Congratulations on posting in a topic that could not be more obviously not meant for you.
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'Sup. Long time no see. I poke my head in at goings-on every couple days. I'm usually happy just to lurk. But, uh. Fuck, man. I gotta let it out.
I've been going to therapy for a number of months now - there is no singular reason, it's more that 'the subject is me' and it gives me support and skills. Very slowly, some of my defense mechanisms got chipped away at, and my resilience to being able to talk about a few subjects got built up over time. The more I attended, the more I felt I was able to talk about my parents.
For some time, I was talking about some difficulties I was having with a relationship I was going through. I wasn't comfortable with my partner's neediness, felt we were incompatible, and ended it, but I felt like it was some failing on my part to have this aversion to neediness. Now, my therapist's wicked smart. She's incredible at picking up on things I say and teasing it out from there. She gets me and I'm lucky to be working with her. She caught on to this thread and recommended I do some reading about Attachment Styles and take an interview about it. I accepted and did it about a month ago.
Congratulations, It's A Fearful-Avoidant. Yay. High on anxiety, high on avoidance. The type most prone to involvement in abusive relationships. The embodiment of 'come here and go away'. Desperately craving closeness, but convinced that getting close results in getting hurt. Hoorah. Sound the celebratory trumpets. It's official: I'm A Mess.
A lot of the interview process is based on recounting earlier memories and your relationship with your parents. So...a lot of stuff comes out. Some of it from when I was a child, some into later teen years, and I had to bring up something that happened when I was 21 that I felt was important to damaging some of my trust. And...like...I thought all of the stuff I recounted was just normal?
I'd just never paused to consider the notion that my recurring vivid memories were a non-normative experience. I just thought that 'oh, of course you'd remember the time shoes were thrown at you while you were screamed at, or the time you were shoved against a hard plastic prop on the floor in public as a child, or the time your mother spun you by the wrist and threw you onto the curb as a teenager; of course it's normal to think about these things every couple of weeks. It's just like remembering an awkward social faux pas you did, right?' (which is itself predicated on the idea that it's 'normal' to routinely remember social faux pas from more than a decade ago; whaddya know it turns out shame is a huge part of my emotional landscape, hmmm).
I just always thought 'nah, I can't be traumatised. If I was, I'd know about it, wouldn't I? Besides, I was never ritualistically, routinely or predictably beaten, so it doesn't count. And on all those random occasions where my parents did hit me, I definitely deserved it. It's my fault for sighing or rolling my eyes. They make my bed and let me live with them so by definition these things were okay. It's normal that my heart rate goes up and my muscles stiffen when I hear them walking around, or when I am confronted by anyone in a position of authority over me. My issues with doubting myself and never giving myself credit for anything I do has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that my father blames me for my mother having a stroke.'
Really makes it clear how fucked it is when someone else writes it out, doesn't it?
That was the first time that someone else, to my face, referred to these things, these things that were done to me by people that I still live with, as instances of abuse. It was the first time I tried using that word either, instead of awkwardly saying 'things that happened to me growing up' or 'my 21st', or 'things that hurt me' etc. And, just...fuck, healing stings, doesn't it?
I, honestly just...feel really insecure about everything now.
I have had a particular mistrust of my parents for the last 6 years or so following Some Shit That Hurt Me on my 21st birthday and since then I'd kind of prided myself, internally, on the notion of not being affected by it. I wanted, and continue to want, to be Better Than Them, to be Not Like Them. And now I gotta face up to it: stuff they did to me has made me what I am. It's a part of why I have difficulties starting and maintaining relationships healthily, why I either just fret and seek reassurance, or just lock up and ghost. It's part of why violence enters my emotional landscape so much. It's part of why I just bundle up my feelings until it explodes and turns everyone else into collateral. The people who hurt me made me who I am and I hate myself.
Ditto this for being trans, and into ABDL / CGl.
I felt like I had some sense of security in the notion that I was trans and into kink without being a traumatised person. 'I'm trans because I'm trans. End of fucking discussion.' 'I'm kinky and it's a healthy dynamic. It doesn't reflect anything.'
And now I feel like I've handed a loaded gun to every single shithead on the planet. People who believe I'm trans because of shit that happened to me now have the evidence they desperately crave. Now I'm really 'a failed confused soyboy beta male' that Barry Shitpeas thinks I am (just an aside: if you believe this invalidates trans people, please deepthroat a shotgun). Again, ditto that for the fetishes. I've been handed a burning log of self-doubt to beat myself with.
Just...fuck.
Turns out I did suffer abuse growing up, and its shades continue.
And I don't know where that leaves me.
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12 hours ago, Elfy said:
Many of these companies will be the same ones that not so long ago would be actively discriminating against LGBT people, I dare say somestill would if there weren't laws stopping it.
Some of them make financial donations to anti-LGBT political candidates.
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7 hours ago, Brudda Voodu said:
You sound very political in your reasoning.
Pride is political, though.
2 hours ago, LaFleurSauvage said:
That is a bloody victory. We are not being ignored or treated as aberrations, and instead as valuable customers. One of my mentors once told me, "The biggest disappointment I have with the youth in the LGBT community is that they insist on fighting the battles of my generation instead of the battles of their own."My fight is to have my national health service comply with WPATH guidelines and stop handing austerity cuts off to the trans population and stop being so gatekeepy. It is not my fight to have a sandwich named after me because I've started having disposable income.
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3 hours ago, Nappygirl97 said:
There is nothing wrong with having police at pride, they are there to help protect people and deter violence and interact and build community ties, just like there is nothing wrong with them being at a football game or other large public events. They are not there to arrest people they are there to make sure nothing goes horribly wrong.
Unfortunately we still live in a world where people are still not accepting or can accept things provided it is not shoved in there face and unfortunately we still have people on both sides including some LGBT people on the LGBT side still provoke arguements and heated discussion and in some circumstances worse. If you did not have that police presence at pride there will be more likelihood of incidents and that muddies the message cause of small majorities.
Also alot of pride takes place on public streets either closed off for a parade or something which will need police to help enforce those closures or small events In local businesses on open streets and you cannot pull an officers off their patrols just cause it is pride as that opens a big can of worms with other issues.
Police are not there to protect citizens, especially marginalised citizens. They are there to maintain the state's monopoly on violence.
I mean, I get you, right. You put a big bunch of vulnerable people in a group, and you're going to want some security there. I can understand that desire.
But hey, guess what, I'm as pale as a fuckin' vampire. People who look like me on that front get to feel safe around the police. But the increased police presence at Pride comes at the expense of the most vulnerable at pride - queer sex workers and queer people of colour (and anyone suspected of being a sex worker, I add. Hence the curious phenomena of people being arrested for 'walking while trans'), and hoo lord the venn diagram of that does not look pretty.
You also can't particularly square an agreement with No TERFs at pride with it, because in recent years, police have protected TERF presences at pride. They've arrested trans people who've protested said presence.
Being a cop is antithetical to queer liberation.
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No cops at pride
No terfs at pride
No corporations at pride
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Vocalising some milquetoast lgbt support is really not worth anything if the brand doesn't also put in the effort to give more thorough support. There is, for one, overlap between 'companies who use pride colours as logos during pride month' and 'companies who, through corporate accounts, donate money to anti-LGBT political candidates'.
Bluntly, the most (non-queer-run) org I've seen do something more substantial, for pointing out that a Straight Pride Parade would be beyond pointless, is fuckin' axe body spray of all brands.
On 6/8/2019 at 1:59 AM, rubbersheetmike said:Your probably right. I havent been to a pride parade or party for many years but it seemed to be pretty mainstream the last time I was there. Thats good for LGBTQ rights and acceptance but I sometimes wonder if people with fetishes or who don't fit easily into boxes get pushed more to the sidelines by generic gay acceptability? A gay friend of mine recently told me that LGBTQ risks becoming boring as it loses its edge.
Okay so yeah, this is a thing.
Swathes of people believe that lgbt rights end at marriage equality and just, sort of leave trans people by the wayside. Queer kink scenes get suppressed at pride in favour of corporate floats and cop floats and TERFs. It doesn't take shit for a company to fly The Iconic Rainbow Flag, but barely any by comparison will show specifically the trans flag, or the rainbow variant that's inclusive towards POC; I saw exactly one of the latter, which was the Overwatch League team Shanghai Dragons.
It's not so much 'boring' as much as the fact that what becomes a communal place for misfits then has to dull its own knives as corporate commodification steps in. Anything 'inconvenient' - i.e. the most vulnerable members of our community - have to get swept under the rug to keep us palatable to a cis audience that wants to clap themselves on the back.
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My brain is full of fuck after reading this.
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I would, for sure!
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I'm sure the small government crowd will be all over this one, willing to stand up for the cities and states which put their own ordinances into motion to protect trans people.
Any second now.
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I see, cheers for shedding some light on it!
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On posts, no, it's just invisible until you hover over it. Mouse over the top part of a post and it'll appear in the top-right next to the 'share' button.
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On an utter whim, I decided to look through some of my old posts from 1-2 years ago, and when I look in old threads, most - perhaps all - posts are cut off midway through. It seems to be that a proportional amount is cut off of each post, and that it really hates quote blocks, often ending the post after one.
I've been way out of the loop for years; did a bunch of old data get lost?
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On 6/15/2018 at 6:54 PM, XyXy said:
I am a gay guy. Zero interest in women, either dominating or being dominated. Most modern western women don't respect men like they used to and I avoid them in all but superficial interactions. I probably wouldn't be gay 100 years ago when women respected and honored men and their roles.
Don't worry dude, pretty sure no guy wants to date you either with a personality like that.
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Grats, hoping the recovery goes smoothly
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Why do cishets
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As far as incon stuff is concerned, you'll be good. I've bought Tena slips and pants from smaller chemists (usually in villages), larger chemists (Boots) AND Supermarkets (Tesco).
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No, you misunderstand, or rather, I should have made myself clearer in the first place - when I said 'we' there I didn't mean ABDL people, I meant queer people. I meant to point out that it wasn't necessarily the case that being queer 'was still such a problematic thing', it still
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8 hours ago, WBDaddy said:
Is that a reason to have a big parade for all the exhibitionists and non-cons?
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On 7/9/2017 at 2:52 PM, WBDaddy said:
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On 2/7/2017 at 6:48 PM, Pamperbum_uk said:
The one thing i noticed about the gay pride festival was all the different enclaves. Gay people into rubber, gay people into leather, 'bears'. All given seperate banners in the parade.
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Wasn't it the user-created forum of some guy who hasn't been around in ages?
(the irony of that latter part is not lost on me)
Becoming a Prude
in Scoop The Poop
Posted
Disagree specifically on the twitter front because artists require a platform and they've been chased from one site to the next for years and years and years; before it was twitter it was tumblr, and porn bans, whether they're coming from a parent company, Apple's app store regulation, or payment processors, are always, always, always used as a foot in the door to hounding queer creators in general. While true that 'oh, they could just go elsewhere', that's ultimately suggesting that adult creators should only be permitted in spaces that are harder to find. Oh, and this applies like, just to artists and other creators. Reposters can get screwed.
Otherwise, fair take.