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Sojourner
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Posts posted by Sojourner
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I have asked DailyDi for his blessing to post this and he has graciously approved, and I wish to thank him for this chance to say what needs to be said.
There's been enough drama in chat and I hope it's enough to say that we're all tired of it. Since I am an integral part of the drama at hand, I will be the first to speak about it. What I am posting here it not intended to challenge, but analyze and question...objectively and fairly, in hope that the drama will ebb or hopefully even stop.
We all have ideas on how an ideal moderator would be: fair, polite, effective, good bedside manner, discreet, rational, et cetera. What I have witnessed over the last few months has finally brought me to a point where I can no longer salve my conscience or be silent about it. I would rather risk my own existence here than let it continue, so I appeal to those in chat to read and consider what I write.
We have at least five moderators here: BettyPooh, Repaid, alex 04, *~andrea~* and warpiper. The first three I have come to know and respect as good people, fair in their duties, discreet about how they carry them out and have thus earned my respect. *~andrea~* and warpiper I once respected, but no longer can do so. Before and upon becoming moderators, I enjoyed their friendship, conversation and companionship in chat. What I came to appreciate was that they were effective in keeping minors out of chat and enforcing the "No PM without permission first" rule, a very good rule.
For awhile, things were fine...but over time, I have seen *~andrea~* and warpiper play games with their powers: jokingly boot people, starting to openly brag about their duties or what they can or have done with them. I wrote it off as "personality" for the sake of peace in chat (which is ironic, considering I like to blurt out certain words at random). As time continued to move on, I have witnessed surliness increase and move from not only relatively-unknown users but to well-known users in chat; I know several people who are on the verge of leaving chat because they fear that anything they say in chat will start the moderators on a tirade of intimidation and threats of kicking. I have watched my two former friends descend from fun people to angry people who are not afraid to show they can and will be decisive in their responses to that which they are not happy with. I have witnessed *~andrea~*'s all-caps tirades, I have not only seen warpiper become aggressive towards good people but I have received a threatening e-mail from him on one particular matter, without him even asking first how the matter came to be. It is wholesale intimidation without fear of reproach or accountability on the part of the one in authority. The flashpoint was election night, when *~andrea~* and warpiper both repeatedly threatened to kick people out of chat who breathed one word about politics.
This, people, is not effective moderation; this, in my heartfelt opinion, is the perfect example of absolute power corrupting absolutely. Intimidation, browbeating, arrogance. This is exactly why I refuse to be a moderator anywhere, because in my 14 years online I have seen this destroy chatrooms, injure good people, decimate communities. I do not have the lack of heart to descend into this type of behavior or abuse of power because I do not wish to be the reason, in whole or part, that a good community fragments.
Am I challenging authority? No...I am questioning the integrity of the ones who wear the badges of authority, those being *~andrea~* and warpiper. I am making my observation clear of the stark contrast I have seen in them when I compare who they were then to who they've become now. The difference I see is day and night. I kept my mouth shut when they started doing what they did and trying to find the reason in it, only to be intimidated by them...my own then-friends. I bit my tongue, I let it go. I am sorry, but I can no longer let that continue in good conscience. And what hurts more is the attacks and false accusations *~andrea~* has levied upon me in the last 48 hours. Because of this, the relationships I had with these two are irreparably damaged.
In my opinion, *~andrea~* and warpiper need to be removed from authority as moderators for abuse of power and privilege and for conduct unbecoming of their office. There are others in chat who are far more fair and balanced to carry out these duties fairly, discreetly and effectively. I refuse to be considered, as that can only divide the community further. Alex 04 has been a good, fair moderator, as have Repaid and BettyPooh and I think they will be good enough for the task at hand at the present time. This is my opinion, I believe it is far and honest, and I stand firmly behind it.
I am now willing to go, at the sole discretion of DailyDi. If that is what he chooses. I am at peace with it, as I have said my piece with a clear conscience. Some things are worth risking your existence for, people...it's worth it. As are you all. Goodbye in advance, if that happens.
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I have great news for people who loved the old Attends...I discovered this quite by accident. Read on...
On a whim, I decided to order a 22-pack of medium Attends diapers from AB Universe, expecting the same-ol' horrendous 'clothlike cover' and cheap construction, the stuff we had to endure with PaperPak. Not anymore! Apparently, PaperPak sold out in 2009 and now they're made by Attends Healthcare Products in Greenville, NC. Pulling two out of the pack (I love to double my diapers up), they now use the same plastic as the '90s Attends and still have 3 tabs per side (they're white with little blue stripes). The lining is the nonwoven Rayon as always, the padding appears to be like the days of old. So, I doubled them up and put one on...and it's just like the old days! Extremely soft and flexible, almost feels like you're wearing nothing! Not stiff, excessively bulky, none of that.
Conclusion: it's safe to say that we got our old 'Pampers' back...as good as they're ever gonna get compared to the ones we knew and loved from the '90s. I can once again recommend Attends without hesitation.
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** Dresses up as a little plaid-shirted, pig-tailed, red-haired girl and says "Ayund ah hayulped!", complete with toothy grin **
Good job!
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Congratulations, you just met your goal. Enjoy!
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Eddie: how new are you to AB/DL? To the Internet? If you're new to either, I can see how this all comes about. I've seen it before, just takes time to settle the dust.
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I PMed DailyDi about the matter and looked into what can be done to get it sorted. It's getting a bit too out of hand in chat, let's get this solved.
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What a lame topic. Two sides trying to convert one another...no wonder there's such fighting. And that's exactly what's happening here.
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Fair 'nuff.
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I'll weigh in here...under "Other (expound)", I'll put "any and all slurs against race, ethnicity and sexual preference".
As far as proxy servers: every time I've experimented with using a proxy server to get into a Java-based chatroom, the applet refuses to pop up.
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taylor: I'm the one who cried "foul!". There's precious few words I have zero tolerance for in chat, and one of them is "faggot", which you called a certain person without provocation.There's no excuse for that word in that context...at all. Or in any context, for that matter. You're not representing your side of the story accurately, but those in chat are willing to forget and move on.
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I've had well over 200 good experiences on eBay in everything I've bought, and the wares I've purchased have run the gamut: DVDs, CDs, stickers, car parts, books, electronics accessories...and even AB/DL items. What's paid off has been:
- scrolling carefully through the items: always read the article throughout, know what you're looking at!
- carefully scrutinizing the vendors' feedbacks: if a vendor has negative feedback, look at how many and why. I've seen butt-hurt people leave negative feedbacks en masse, out of spite, or there may be an issue a vendor's having trouble with...such as when you order multiple items and you receive only one because the vendor didn't look at the quantity during picking and packing. Judge carefully, sometimes you get a good vendor with an unfair rap and that's usually what I find on eBay.
- communication: this is especially crucial, IMHO. Communication represents more than half of a transaction, and if it's not bad, then a questionable experience deteriorates quickly. If a problem erupts, contact the vendor, they'll usually reply timely (if not immediately) and try to remedy the matter. Don't leave a negative feedback out of anger, it's not revocable. Talk it out, find a solution; more often than not, everyone ends up much happier in the end. But if the other party's not willing to talk or even offer a mutually-agreeable solution, then there's feedback and possibly even eBay mediation.
- feedback: mutual feedback is vital as well. You paid immediately, that alone is worthy of stellar feedback! But there are indeed vendors who simply will not leave feedback out of courtesy. They get the good rep and cash, you get product but are left in the cold. Thankfully, vendors who won't leave feedback are rare and some simply get too busy or forget, so don't be afraid to ask for your fair share of rep if you gave it...you earned it. If they won't oblige, just move on, others obviously have. Vendors and buyers do each other a favor in every transaction and repeat business is based on that notion. Fairplay rules!
In all my eBay experiences, I've only willfully blacklisted one vendor and have given only one neutral (and only one negative) feedback. Do your homework, be a willing fair-player, communicate, stick to your principles and your experiences should go just as well.
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This will be a thread about any experiences you've had--good or bad--with eBay vendors. Here's mine...
Recently bought a bunch of late-'90s P&G Attends from eBay vendor jaideegirl:
Product: 5, exactly as described, even threw in 2 generic samples unexpectedly.
Price: 4, a bit pricey but that's P&G Attends, they're simply no longer available.
Shipping: 4, discreet, undamaged, timely, a bit pricey.
Communication: 1, won't respond to requests for feedback return. Her prior auctions show she doesn't leave feedback for others, excepting one buyer.
Total: 3.50 out of 5. Her refusal to return feedback hurt the mutual experience. It matters. Communication means a lot.
Also, a purchase of a few hyper-rare 1992 P&G Attends from eBay vendor joshuatree4u2:
Product: 5, exactly as described, immaculate condition.
Price: 4, pricey, but again, they're P&G Attends. Ya wanna play, yer gonna pay.
Shipping: 4, packed well and discreet; pricier than need be.
Communication: 5, quick, effective; excellent feedback return.
Total: 4.50 out of 5. Pretty darn good experience. Not perfect but rather happy with it.
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I agree, it seems a general consensus would be a good idea on what would be kickable offenses and what wouldn't. Or perhaps a page that explains already-established, inflexible rules. It seems to all be at-large or vague criteria with no page of its own.
As far as words: As long as the conversation is casual, non-accusing, non-attacking and NOT every other word, the rare cuss-word strategically used for contextual emphasis or strengthening doesn't seem to be a problem. But there's a few words, IMHO, that should be on the "Seven Words You Cannot Use In DD", a'la George Carlin. Opinions?
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I didn't do it. I promise!
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There is a great deal of controversy and speculation in chat regarding the passing of the user lilshybaby, and it is a good idea to address the main tenets of this issue here due to the arising controversy. A great deal of people were emotionally distressed and troubled by the matter, and more so with her passing on. The general outlook in chat regarding the matter has now become one of doubt and skepticism, with a few evidences to consider on the matter.
This is not the first time an AB/DL chat/community has been faced with the matter of a dying member: chats such as DPF and many subcommunities in the IRC chats have not only had this issue arise, but a great deal of division has resulted from it. Most chats have fallen from it.
Out of these ashes and into analysis arises the same matter: credibility. What evidences do we have that this person even existed, let alone died? While a few of us know one another on a face-to-face basis, the same can't be said for the rest of us, so it's become a matter of faith and trust. However, it comes to bear that most all of us have faced doubt, abuse of trust and outright lies in the online world, greater than fact and truth, so those with open minds reading this can appreciate what's being fielded here.
Related to the issue of credibility are the circumstances given: lilshybaby, a female, was injured in the riots and died as a result of her injuries. The newsmedia coverage of not only the London Riots but its casualties has been very extensive: media follow-up with the injured/dead and their families is constant, up-to-date and decisive. Gleaned from constant monitoring of major UK publications such as The London Times, The Guardian, BBC News and Belfast Telegraph are the following deaths arising from the London Riots:
Shahzad Ali, Abdul Musavir, Haroon Jahan of Winson Green: killed in vehicular hit-and-run while protecting their neighborhood during riots.
Trevor Ellis of Brixton Hill: shot and killed while looting during riots.
Richard M. Bowes of Ealing: beaten by rioters while he tried to put out dumpster fires, died 3 days later from his injuries.
Please note, readers, that none of the deaths listed here are female; they're all male.
The media has been very effective in keeping the circumstances and results of the London Riots fresh on the minds of Britons since the Riots occurred. This has been a very shameful matter which deserves to be rubbed in the faces of those who took part in it, due to the loss of order, property and, most importantly, life. The greater shame is how one user here coincidentally exploited these events and the somber nature of the tragedy to shame other users because said other users were seen to be unreceptive to the one user's presence in chat...
Since lilshybaby's debut on July 9, 2011, she has been a curious source of occasional derision: More than half the time while in chat, she has expressed consternation in that nobody was proactively engaging her in chat. Many users, myself included, invited her to participate, also explaining that all one has to do is merely jump on into the topic at hand. More often than not, this statement generated contempt from her and she'd merely leave with no other protest. We never denied her and never treated her harshly.
After the contested events, another user began coming aboard, using lilshybaby's nick, to handily apprise us of her circumstances: the grave nature of her condition, the miracle recovery and the sudden death.
Several chat users have since related their testimonies of wanting to offer cards, memorials or even donations to charity in lilshybaby's name, and have accordingly asked lilshybaby's friend (via lilshybaby's nick) for where to send cards or donations in memoriam; they were greeted with either topic-diversion or a sudden disappearance of lilshybaby's friend from the chat session.
The matter of death in any community is a strong one, which is not a situation to be taken lightly...accordingly, nor is it to be presented lightly. I am here and now alleging, with duly-presented evidence on-hand, that this matter of lilshybaby's death is a hoax. There are no links or other evidences presented for reasonable verification, which is only fair in this matter considering the emotions and sentiments presented. Even chat users in the London area have looked into this and have found no clues whatsoever. If this 'friend' of lilshybaby was truly a contributing member to the community, and truly cared about those affected by this matter, then they would present something within reason and dignity to not only inform those of us who cared but honor their fallen friend. Not one iota of evidence has been presented.
I further allege that the person conducting this hoax is a narcissist who cares neither about this community nor its participants, exploiting the chat and the Forums for their predatory, sociopathic delight. I willingly stand behind my accusation with greater evidence to support it than the user I am accusing has evidence to support their own ruse and the wake of emotions rising out of it. I present harsh words, yes, but I also present credible, documented evidence, as well as logic. Pictures lie; emotions deceive. I don't see the media lying about the statistics of the Riots.
That's my case. I stand unwaveringly behind it. If this results in my censure and/or banishment from here, regardless of the outcome of the topic at hand, I fully, willingly and readily accept it. My conscience is absolutely clear. Can anyone else say that?
A lie is a cozy place for all; the light of truth is often uncomfortably blinding. I choose the light.
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Doggie sex toy? What is it, an inflatable leg?
Nope, it's some plastic art-deco dog with a removable, fake latex vagina in the rear.
I still think the Jumpin' Jammerz were kewl!
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The withdrawals! Make them stop!!!
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Robehouse: if anything, you cause more passive dissension and division in the forums across the breadth of our lifestyle. You did it in DPF for years to no small degree; the current owner, a few long-termers and I had a lengthy discussion recently about your activity there over the years, and the words used in the discourse were "nauseating", "trivial", "self-serving", "instigating" and "antagonistic". And that is precisely what you are doing here. You may delight in it; many across this lifestyle don't.
For the topic at hand: why can't we get stories of this nature and create a new level of membership which preserves a "PG" atmosphere for the rank-and-file membership while generating some revenue for the site? You can call it "DD Fantasy" or whatever seems more appealing, but I can see this being a revenue-generating tool for the site while keeping the average site within a mutually-agreeable level for everyone.
Plus, it'll give underage lurkers less of a remotely legitimate reason to run off to some child-advocacy group and complain, which would, of course, bring this site under public scrutiny, right or wrong. All they would have to do is complain in public enough and regardless of if we prevail or not, morally and/or legally, the damage would be done. We've all seen that happen before in other unrelated instances. I'd think the idea of an exclusive membership section for the purpose of this nature of entertainment is worth looking into for many good reasons, it seems everyone here can benefit from this concept.
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That's just beachxbunni123 being herself: threatening to sue everyone in chat and in PM if we don't leave her alone, that we're 'harassing' her. Funny thing is, perhaps there's a reason why she's being singled out for contempt both here and in chat when nobody else is? Yes, methinks the problem resides with her and her inconsolable personality...for want of a better word. That's fine, let her continue on with her prattle and vitriol. I was a legend in my own mind once, too. And beachxbunni, dear...I'm still waiting on that subpoena you threatened me with. Where is it, dear?
Please do yourself a favour and say something intelligent or entertaining instead of proactively menacing everyone with 'legal action' which everyone here knows neither can nor will materialize. You know it, we know it. We're all tired of you and your panicky, antagonistic attitude. We have no problem telling this to your face in the open, and we will continue to do so. So do come on back in chat and we'll continue to remind you. Or just get over your bad self and be a human being like the rest of us.
Oh...and you and your lawyer can both "Have A Nice Day". Tum te tum...
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Please, these people need our help: they're cold, without shelter and most have lost loved ones in an instant. All this put together makes this an unfathomable nightmare for the survivors. $5 isn't too little to help; all put together, it'll go farther than you'd believe: food, water, blankets, shelter. To someone who has nothing at all left, this means everything. I wouldn't ask this of anyone if I didn't make a donation myself. Please, consider something, anything. Thank you.
Red Cross Japanese Disaster Fund -
The moral of this story....
Do not deep fry turkey.... It's bad for you and causes the chat room to break.
Actually, the vast majority of us still oven-roast our turkeys. Much healthier.
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so apperently we are connecting to it but the server isnt connecting us to everyone else. so its there problem, Not the users, Not DD's fault. IPB's fault
I think it's Kanye West's fault. "Hold up, I'm gon' let'chu finish...but this chat hiccup's gettin' me DAYOWNNN!!!"
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SEX!!! tehehehehehe I win
Still not working for me...
I see you in chat, as well as the others, but it's not loading, regardless of number of attempts. I think the server manager got a head-start on feasting...
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Attempted reloading 5 times, nothing. Updated Firefox and Java, tried 12 times to get back in. Nothing.
Which is weird, I've never had this problem before.
Apology
in Chat Room Info
Posted
All I do is say "SEX!!!" once in a blue and just chat with friends. As far as what happened to warrant the shut-down, I have zero responsibility for it, since I try to avoid drama and I am not LGBT-hostile. Whatever opinions anyone has about me is none of my concern and they need to keep it to themselves. If I have opinions, I am discreet enough to keep them in Private Chat.