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Thank you. I am not nearly as brave as you, but I'm also trying to reconcile my wearing/wetting with some history of abuse and neglect. This is the deepest reason that I have just begun to scratch.

I have never entirely stopped wetting my bed. I actually wet less as a child than I do now. I've seen doctors, psychologists, and a urologist and the consensus is that it's psychological. I have had insomnia, anxiety, and night terrors for most of my life and bedwetting is a instinctual "fight or flight" response to the stress and the fear that I have in my head. I don't wear every night, but if I go to bed upset, I will at least put on a pair of pull-ups. I often wake when I'm wetting and I'm unable to stop myself. This can happen multiple times each night, and its often directly timed/tied with dreams that I have. I used to change myself immediately and return to bed, but if I wear a larger diaper or pad I'm able to go back to sleep until I need to wake in the morning. I do wet during the day, but it's a very different, conscious act. I live with my family and they know that I wet, but they mostly respect my privacy. When they haven't, they have been somewhat insensitive about it, asking if there's a better solution. There isn't

I brand am new to this site, and still trying to find my fit in the ABDL spectrum. I have been wetting regularly at night for years, both with protection and not. The cause is not physical- I've seen MDs, psychiatrists, OB/GYN and a urologist. It used to embarrass and annoy me. Then it interested me. Then I appreciated it. And now I enjoy it. It's the regression and helplessness that interests me. I have very little experience with age play, but I feel very much a little girl. I dress to look younger and you might find me haunting a playground. I am obsessed with coloring books, puzzles, stuffed animals, and toys. I just started wearing pull-ups in public during the day and it really puts me in a "smaller" mindset. It helps me deal with stress and calms me to the point where I may become dependent on wearing. So I find myself here to explore the role that diapers and ageplay have played and may figure into my life. Thank you.

I used to scan the aisle of every drug store I went into before finally buying a 2-quart pink folding syringe. I don't think I've ever blushed so much at the register, but it's been worth it.