[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

Just now, Reddy said:

That makes sense.  I think we all have different comfort levels with sharing and when to share.  I'm afraid of the rejection and would be likely to say it up front to scare them away earlier and avoid and problems, but your plan is probably more advised than mine.

I think it might also be pertinent about the point or gaol of your date. If it is a hookup or potential hookup then it probably does make sense to tell them ahead of time.

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

5 minutes ago, Reddy said:

That's probably good advice.  Although it would probably be easier to avoid having to tell people at all.  Maybe I would do something like you described for the profile, but reveal it in messages before the first date.

My plan has been to tell them around the time we plan on sharing a bed. I don't think it is pertinent until then.

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

@Reddy NGL. As the day gets closer I am getting more jealous.

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

7 minutes ago, jeremy12312 said:

I’m also not against you having the surgery, not that it matters what an internet stranger thinks about your actions in the first place. 

But your reasonings to make this seem, to the rest of the world, organic and natural are not as water-tight as you think they are.  You are caught up in the desire so much that of course your story makes sense in your head. Humans are funny about being able to justify anything they really want to do, in their own head.

But to an outsider who has no vested interest either way, it stinks. 

There is no reasoning this. It is not logical. And the more I learn and understand about human psyche the more I am convinced that logic doesn't exist.

And I am saying that as someone who is a hairsbreath from following him down there.

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

11 minutes ago, padded-nightly said:

People here seem to be falling into one of two categories.

A) people who are already incontinent and don't want to be, so, obviously that makes your choice a horrible one. I do understand *some* of the frustration from these people, you're fantasizing about a medical condition that they hate.

B ) people who merely want to fantasize about being incontinent and don't actually want it. These people, at least the ones in the thread here, are very self aware and reasonable.

B 2) people who profess to want this but are too afraid to actually take action on it. Therefore, in their frame of mine, your actions must be unreasonable and obviously wrong because if there aren't some obvious reason why what you're doing is a bad idea, why aren't they also doing it? Equal parts jealousy and anger at themselves.

I think we have a winner!! A bunch of incontinent people on the Incontinent DESIRES forum screaming that no one could POSSIBLY want this. I imagine the same thing would happen if someone who needed diapers medically at all came across ABDLs and find it horrifying that anyone would willingly or want to wear diapers.

 

Also, as a side note to everyone saying that you should live it first. It is impossible to pretend to be incontinent. I have worn diapers 24/7 for 4 years. And wearing vs using are two different things and until you have NO choice you won't know what you don't know. And if one untrains and you start to have legitimate accidents and 2nd thoughts it may already be too late to back out. 

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

3 hours ago, Reddy said:

The discussion about leaks was that I was suggested to purposely flood my diaper so it leaks in front of friends.  I know leaks could happen, but I still don't want them.  I think that’s normal.  But I do understand they are part of the risk of being incontinent.  I just don't want to do a demonstration of it in front of friends right now when it's not necessary, and of course I hope to avoid as many leaks as possible 

This is a similar problem I have with untraining for BI. At some point you are going to have to deliberately poop in front of people before it is an accident. And it feels wrong somehow to do it on purpose. I have leaked in public. Was it embarrassing? Yes, absolutely. Did I survive? Yup, and I moved on.

One will adapt and move on. I guarantee it.

[Holy Court case Babyman!]

The whole situation is terrible but I couldn't help laughing at the left turn they took describing her services.

"Swaddling her clients in baby blankets, fixing bowls of cereal, playing Saturday morning cartoons, changing their diapers, and kicking men in their genitals"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

10 hours ago, Elfy said:

I have to say I find the whole thing very intriguing. I personally never thought I'd see a surgeon who would willingly do this sort of surgery since it goes against the "do no harm" mantra which is very important. I would have concerns at how "legit" the surgeon is. It's kind of an oxymoron... If I wanted a surgery like this I don't know if I'd trust anyone willing to actually do it!

Personally I would love to be fitted with a little switch where I could turn continence on and off like a light

I think I'd be too concerned with side effects to go through with it myself. There was another member here once who really wanted either this type of surgery or one like it done but was struggling to find anyone in America who would go for it. As far as I remember he had all sorts of problems with his urinary system and many of them are the exact side effects you would be risking.

Not to mention ED and stuff like that. I'm a very sexual person, I wouldn't want to risk any of that sort of thing in any way. But then my need for diapers isn't as strong as others. Different priorities mean different paths to happiness.

I do think there is a good chance you could regret the surgery in the future. When the reality hits, when the shine wears off, when potential side effects cause pain or problems... but I also think you have considered them all and it your body, you should be free to do what you want with it. I know my girlfriend would be REALLY interested in a similar procedure.

So, I wish you the best of luck, I hope you get what you need from it and I'll be following the thread with curious interest

With a bit of luck maybe you can message me one day soon to move it from "Incontinence - Desires" to the "Incontinence - Medical forum"!

It would be interesting to see/know how the procedure differs in women. Much shorter Urinary systems and 86 on the prostate.

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

1 hour ago, cathdiap said:

This topic has made me think a lot about my increasing desires for incontinence in recent months Although the idea of being irreversibly incontinent is very tempting at times, to the point where I started considering having this surgery done myself, I keep coming back to the belief that I should NEVER do it. as long as I

1) lose interest in diapers after masturbating on the thought of being incontinent

2) stop wearing diapers when visiting family

3) get bored of the constant peeing and wetness between my legs

Over the last few weeks all of these things have happened, so for now I know I am definitely not ready for it. So given all the reasons I still have for wanting to become incontinent, I face a major mental challenge for the near future. 

And then there is the ethical question of whether the costs of any postoperative interventions and aftercare should be passed on to society or borne by the patient. What do we think of that?

This topic has been very interesting for me. Having talked with Reddy in and out of this forum has made me consider things as a reality that I had not before. It has taught me a ton. It made me realize there were things I had thought of but not processed as a reality. Like my plan was originally to become more or less incontinent before telling anyone in my family but this thread has made me reconsider and push past that fear.

There are things I think that one should consider before taking this dive. If you lose interest with something as simply masturbating, maybe its a sexual fantasy and not BIID. It may be worth pondering further. The desire to not wear around family I think is understandable, I can't speak for everyone but most ABDLs harbor many negative thoughts and emotions surrounding diapers and it is inevitable that some of these would center around family. I can't speak to your #3. That has never been an issue for me ever.

The people who are able to become incontinent through untraining have to be 100% incontinent mentally before it can happen physically. ANY doubt will stymie the process. But the hard reality that it is possible one way or another can be a powerful tool to really examine how ready one is. 10 days ago when I read the original post that had the contact information for the surgical center, I was 100% ready. Now I am 90-95% ready. The biggest thing holding me back is my aversion to any unnecessary surgery and to spending $25k. But it is interesting, because I have been working on moving forward with hypnosis and somehow the looming threat of a definite, permanent solution has made my unconscious mind process things differently and faster.

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

1 hour ago, Diapered Dave said:

Are you going to be diapered on the flight down there? You might as well be.... It's your new lifestyle. And if you're taking diapers with you in your luggage, the TSA would pretty much expect you to be in diapers.  Check out that TSA Notification Card that I posted a photo of on page 2 of this thread... You can get it from the TSA website here:

https://www.tsa.gov/sites/default/files/disability_notification_card_508.pdf

Just type what you want in the white space, download it, and print it.  I laminated mine too. Then if they stop you for an extra check, show them the card to get a private screening.

 

Just don't fly with diaper powder unless you want to meet the nice NSA EXO man. Apparently diaper powder is EXTREMELY DANGEROUS and very explosive according to the NSA. So the TSA will call them because their instruments only say boom while the NSA instruments say go zoom.

[Donations Needed]

50 minutes ago, ValentinesStuff said:

A scene from one of my favorite movies. Disney's The Furry Movie.

I am positive that ihave no idea what you could possibly be talking about. 

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

8 hours ago, Reddy said:

Edit: there's a possibility I'll be too tired to look at my phone and type up an update in this thread post-surgery, but that I call @DAQ and ask him to post an update on my behalf.  So if it's after my 2/12 surgery and DAQ posts an update about me, it will be the truth.

I wouldn't leave me with that kind of power and responsibility. You will get back and everyone is going to be asking you about how you found the Chupacabra and your short stint as a Lucho Libre "El Bandido Pañal"!

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

2 hours ago, Reddy said:

I downloaded a countdown timer app

 

[3 month diapered trail run]

If this is your first time spending an extended period of time in diapers? If it is congratulations!

A few things. Don't get discouraged if you spend a week or a month and want to be done with it. For me there was a definite transition mentally of DL that wears for pleasure and occasionally vs diaper wearer. When I started wearing 24/7 I also had not yet worked through the negativity that had built up around diapers from childhood. That will rear its ugly head if you are not prepared.

I would also recommend not pushing it if you do get tired of it. Make it a positive experience and however long you make it will teach you a ton about your relationship with diapers and why you are considering incontinence. If you do decide to end it early what will probably happen is you come rushing back in a day or two wondering why you ever quit.

Regardless of your experience. Good luck! Sounds like it should be a good time.

[Donations Needed]

`

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

16 minutes ago, Diapered Dave said:

And remember the MOST IMPORTANT THING ABOUT MEXICO!!!!

Don't drink the water. 🤔😣😳

Will be incontinent in all the ways!

 

38 minutes ago, Reddy said:

No plastic sheet, but I'll have to be careful.

Are you talking about a plastic bed sheet? Plastic is so dang hot. BUT they make breathable bed pads. I have a couple like this and absolutely love them. They are big enough that you don't have to worry about rolling off and leaking off the side. Also big enough to double as a changing mat in a pinch.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01F7NLHDS/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o06_s00?ie=UTF8&th=1

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

3 minutes ago, Reddy said:

Yeah, I have over 1000 diapers at home 😂 It's kind of ridiculous and I don't have room for all those boxes.  I'm actually looking forward to eliminating a lot of my supply.

I have a couple cloth diapers that I can cycle through.  And plastic pants.

I don't have any onesies but I might not want them.  I'm not too worried about concealing peakage at my waist, but I want to deal with crazy bulges, so I will need to get bigger pants.

I'm just a DL.

I need to prepare for diaper rash and chafing!!  Good thoughts.

 

Onesies help with more than just peaks. They also keep everything in place, suspenders for diapers, especially as they get full. Another option is compression shorts. I am a big fan of Champion compression shorts. they are stretchy w/ out too much compression like Under Armour.

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

3 minutes ago, foreverdl said:

I will say you have done a lot of research . But if it was me and my body is me. I would do almost anything else . 

I have no problem with you thinking that this train of thought is crazy. But what I can't figure out is why you feel the need to spread patently false information to dissuade others?

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

3 minutes ago, foreverdl said:

And yes DAQ. I will say again if you have a surgery on purpose that is a do harm surgery they will do as little as possible so they will not be sued

I am talking about walking into the ER with something like a post op infection or urethral stricture blocking urine flow. They will absolutely help you.

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

@foreverdlwhy wouldn't a hospital treat you? I must admit my ignorance but is Healthcare so cutthroat that they will let people die because they didn’t have the work done here? Is it a warranty issue?

[Nay Sayers]

5 hours ago, superabsorbantpolymer said:

Seeing as the operation is performed on people with urinary retention/overflow incontinence, I wonder how feasible it would be to get a less than competent urologist to sign off on that diagnosis and get the same operation legitimately. Once you're "in the system" as a urological patient, diapers are expected and further revisions to your resection to increase flow would probably be forthcoming. Just a thought...

You would probably be better off finding a psychiatric professional to acknowledge that you are psychologically incontinent and that it is safe and beneficial for you to seek incontinence and then find a doctor to perform the surgery. I have read many a story of urologists desperate to preserve "normal" function against the wishes or autonomy of a patient who was suffering from something like urge incontinence which is much harder to deal with than drip incontinence. Would probably be trivial to find a plastic surgeon willing and capable of doing it though.

[Alisa's Adventures In The Diaper Dimension - Chapter 40 Added 8/6]

22 minutes ago, chi90504 said:

How do I see the chapter?

There was a situation where many posts from before a certain date. Unfortunately this story was one of them. However, Princess Potty Pants has a blog where it is posted.

https://princesspottypants.wordpress.com/2013/05/02/alisas-adventures-in-the-diaper-dimension-chapter-1/

[Nay Sayers]

11 hours ago, spark said:

I firmly believe that incontinence-seeking surgery is self-harm because the outcome is a body that doesn't function as it should.  The body's hardware is changed and no longer retains urine.   Plastic surgery and tattoos do not change the way the body operates.   Even with SRS, the body is still doing the job it was designed to do.   An extreme example would be somebody with amputation dysphoria who seeks to have their leg amputated, which does happen.  I would assert and would hope most would agree, that amputating a healthy leg is self-harm.   

I also have a lot of medical professionals in my family and know what I expect from a doctor.  The surgeries we've mentioned have loads and loads of research and have been performed many times.   We're talking about an unproven surgery that is rarely performed.  I don't want somebody performing a pioneering surgery on me unless I'm going to die otherwise.   I also have medical professionals in my family, so I know what I want with a doctor.  I'm not letting anybody cut into me that I don't trust.  I don't trust a doctor who would perform a procedure that hurts a body's function and require them to defend their decisions.

I'm wondering if you and I are in a similar place with bladder control, but I'm happy where I'm at and you're not.  FTR, we come from very different places with our potty training experience.  I don't remember much of my experience other than I peed my pants a lot.  I don't remember my mom getting mad at me, but I do think she resorted to diapers on occasion.   Somewhere around my fifth birthday I just stopped peeing my pants.  That could be why I'm happy where I am now.   For instance, I've wet my diaper probably 8 times today, and it's wet.  I'm not ready to change it, but I bet a caregiver would.    But I know every single time that I pee, and I still know that I'm going to pee.   I don't call it a struggle, but I know I'm about to pee.   If I want to go to the bathroom, I can, but I'm not.  

So while I personally do not want to amputate my own leg. I would be a hypocrite if I called that self harm. I would call it self harm if they did what so many people that have BIID that is centered around an extremity do and resort to extreme trauma. When I was doing research into it after learned the name of the condition I read stories of people resorting to power tools or laying an arm or leg onto train tracks. I think a clean amputation in a surgical room is preferable. And much the same way I am doing it, with a consultation with a psychiatric professional and thoroughly discussing it, who am I to judge? And if the doctor who will perform the surgery for you does not require the signoff and you are 100% sure then go for it. Bodily autonomy is central tenet of a free society.

I think by definition SRS renders the body incapable of the job it was designed to do. And definitely the "body's hardware" is changed and no longer serves the function it was "designed" for. Our sole function biologically is to reproduce. If nothing else being an ABDL and having incontinence needs/desires has been a humbling factor in my life. Who am I to judge people on their wants and needs.

The surgery is not unproven and it is not rarely performed. It is rarely performed for this purpose and rarely together. Transurethral resection of the bladder neck and Transurethral resection of the prostate are performed on people who have problems releasing urine for one reason or another. They are researched procedures that have very real therapeutic benefits. Now both of these surgeries carry the risk of incontinence when performed with out the intent for incontinence. I will grant you that I can not find any information regarding re-sectioning of the sphincter external.

I have been trying to figure out what I have found frustrating about your posts. And the best I can figure is that I feel you think that you somehow have the morale high ground by wanting to or becoming incontinent through untraining vs surgical means. At a certain point the results are the same. After some time the muscles all atrophy to a point where they are completely unusable and no longer do the job they were designed to do. Kaliborio has a blog where they discuss retraining after a period of time after incontinence is achieved. It is a fairly small window and sometimes completely unstoppable once a certain threshold is reached. The muscles/nerves have atrophied and that person is incontinent for life. Vs surgery all the muscles are just rendered useless in a procedure.

I feel like you are splitting hairs. If you took two people not part of this community and told them two people in from of them are both incontinent, but one had surgery and the other's muscles atrophied with disuse by choice do you think that they would make some sort of distinction? Same outcome, different catalyst. If that same person who wanted to amputate a leg put it in a cast to render it completely useless for a period of 2 or 3 years, their muscles would atrophy and at some point the nerves will as well. A very similar outcome with out the knife.

[Nay Sayers]

4 minutes ago, oznl said:

Not that I'm in a position to recommend (I had one put in for a medical procedure and hated it) but have you ever tried catheterising yourself?  I guess that's one way to try before you buy if your sphincter refuses to play ball.  Whilst I was indeed, absolutely incontinent catheterised, my stupid bladder would not stop spasming which kept me awake (that and everything else that goes on in an ICU whilst they tell you to "get some rest" 🤣)

I have. And I tried stents when I was younger. I stopped the stents when one of them got stuck and I thought I was on the way to the ER but luckily it came out after a half hour of gentle repositioning and pulling. 

 

I tried catheters a few times and found them unbearable after a short time. Don't know if I had the wrong size, wrong type or what not but the couple times I got them to work was.... blissful. I stopped trying them after I read somewhere that they can cause scarring in the urethra and make it even harder to pee. It's funny, looking at a surgery to permanently make me incontinent and the thing I am worried about most is a 5 day stint with a cath🤣

[Nay Sayers]

8 hours ago, spark said:

It begs the question what will happen to you mentally when you have accidents randomly with no control?   That subconscious part of your body is still there.  The trauma is still there, and you will feel it when you wet yourself. 

Ya, you're right. I suspect that had I gone through with the surgery without addressing any of these past traumas I would have been pretty miserable. Assuming I would have had the courage and self determination to do it in the first place.

8 hours ago, spark said:

What you're telling me is that you've never peed in the toilet for four years, and yet every time you've struggled to pee.   FTR- it was a struggle when I tried to use makeshift diapers.  Once I accepted that my diaper wouldn't leak, it gradually got easier.  While I was using diapers intermittently, I had to pre-wet the diaper and it was only easy when I was standing.  

I didn't say I haven't peed in a toilet for four years. I have worn 98% of the time for the last four years and only ever not used a toilet for pee when I threw my hands up in the air in frustration and say "Fine, if I can't be incontinent, I'll just be "normal". And yes, after four years, I don't wet the bed, I don't leak and dribble, I can't even just relax, let go, and pee.

8 hours ago, spark said:

I don't know how somebody can struggle to urinate every single time for four years without seeking help, however, I don't think self-harm is the answer.  I believe any doctor willing to perform these types of surgeries is unethical, and I have questions about going to the facilities that are willing to perform such surgeries.  Those surgeries would be extremely risky, and not performed often.   On top of that, you still aren't guaranteed the outcome you desire.   Even if the surgery is successful and you are incontinent, it might not be what you thought it would be.  

Frankly it didn't occur to me until last year sometime that I had made no progress or if anything worse now than when I started. It has only been in the last few months after starting therapy that I started to pull on this string and how it is all connected.

I find it pretty funny calling a surgical procedure self harm. If I wanted to transition to female, get a tattoo, or implants of some kind would that be self harm? I think anyone from the outside looking in would call any way of becoming incontinent self harm. Surgeries performed anywhere are not without risks and sterile surgical environments are not that hard even in horribly dangerous countries like Mexico that scores in the top third of healthcare systems around the world right after .... let me check my notes, 2 spots below the US. There are inflection points in life. A before and after and no one can tell you how the after really is. They can describe it but so many things in life have to be experienced to know. I may regret it but I would regret more not trying.

 

8 hours ago, spark said:

I'm just some random dude on the internet, who happens to share your desire to pee in diapers.  Maybe mine is more akin to becoming unpotty-trained, which I don't think is the same thing as being incontinent.  In my case, I can use the potty, but I choose not to.   I do poop in the potty because poo is yucky (little kid talk is intentional there).  I also don't react to my wet diapers and need an adult to make sure I don't stay in one.  However, that adult is also me.  You don't need my permission to do it, and it doesn't matter whether I believe you or not.  My advice for people planning to pay $20+K for a risky invasive surgery that is designed to harm your body is to include an independent mental health professional on your team.

Frankly I don't care how I become incontinent. I have tried unpotty training for four years, that option is out. I am trying hypnosis nowto work on my mental blocks and direct suggestions. Also, I have mentioned therapy at least twice. I have a mental health professional. I told her on my third visit because I knew we couldn't even begin to discuss the problems I was having without addressing this. I thought it would take weeks or months to get a letter of recommendation for full incontinence but I think she could see this a firmly held belief and causing mental anguish.