allen476

There is always people that will say that "your views are tainted because you didn't have a choice". Perhaps mine are a tiny bit because I wouldn't want to become incontinent to begin with. However the result is the same whether you wanted it or not and when I see people that want it pretty much to satisfy a fetish, I have to object. It isn't fun after a few years, hell it isn't even fun after a few days. As far as the hang up, one thing that has helped me a lot is getting a mindset that the diapers serve a purpose. Now if you are only having urinary incontinence at night, you might want to think about condom catheters instead of diapers. I use a catheter at night because I void anywhere from 2000-3000ml per night.

You can say what you want but you are not grasping the physical difference between a person that is incontinent and a person that chooses to lose control. A truly incontinent person has no sensation of when they are going. I can tell you that after a while you no longer feel it. This is where the fear in a truly incontinent comes from. Since they can longer tell, they no longer can predict how long a diaper will last. A person trying to achieve incontinence has to concentrate on the sensation to know that they have gone and thus knows about when the diaper is getting full and time to change. There has been many times that I have changed just before I leave for a quick trip to the store to pick "a few things" that I find that I need to change once I get there. Usually those changes are due to feces rather than urine. You say that you only had one messy diaper a day, I can tell you that a truly incontinent person can have several messy diapers a day. See that is like a person that can see telling a blind person that they need a better pair of glasses and they will be fine. You can manage the condition all you want. I manage with diet, timing, and better products. However I still have accidents, I still have leaks, and I still have extra laundry to do. It's a fact of life when you have incontinence. There is no perfect diaper out there. If you are laying on your side, urine will follow gravity and since there are no "diapers for side sleepers" out there, leaks are going to happen. Do I have tons of extra laundry to do? No.....but I have been managing this for a long time and my extra laundry now is basically clothes that have gotten wet from a leaker. Someone that has just started to deal with this though hasn't had the time to adapt and thus has a lot more accidents and mis-steps. I gues what it comes down to, does it take planning when you want to go out if you are incontinent? Yes.... With military type planning? No......but it does take a few minutes to figure out what you need to take with you for what you are doing.

If you are not having urinary incontinence, then during the day you can probably get away with a lightweight pull-up. Anything else will be a waste as you will have to change anyways. The small amounts can easily be detained be the pull-up. At night you might want to use a heavier brief but again in the absence of urinary incontinence, you don't' need anything heavy. You will want to consider using plastic pants at night as well. As far as brands go, that is going to be a trial and error thing. You might want to try a few brands and see which one fits and contains the best. You will want to invest in something to carry changes around with you especially at work. Cut down on the fiber, caffeine, and alcohol. Try to get your stools to firm to semi-firm consistency. Adding more fiber is going to make the problem worse. Increase your water consumption as well.

Yes it is hard to accept wearing diapers when you don't have a choice. I will tell you that it does get easier as time goes on. One thing that you have to keep in mind is the alternative to not wearing. The one thing that I always tell myself is that "they serve a purpose". As far as what type of diaper to wear, that can be debated until the end of time. It really comes down to the type of incontinence, the consistency of your poop, and how frequent. From what I gather is that you are having just fecal incontinence. Which is good because diapers only contain poop they don't absorb it. So the questions to you are how often and how much do you go? What is the consistency? Is it hard or is it runny (like diarrhea)? Do you get any warnings that you are about to let loose? Does it only happen when your poop is soft to runny or all the time regardless of consistency? I have been dealing with both types of incontinence for the past few years. So don't feel bad, you aren't alone. If you could answer the questions though, we could help you select a diaper that can meet your needs. Allen

Well you can have back problems without pain (or at least crippling pain) and it could be a cause. That is how my incontinence started. As far as clear pee, you don't want to have clear pee. That is a good indication that you have too much water in your body and could lead to water poisoning. The lightest color you want is about (remind you that this is after using a toilet where it is diluted more) a pale yellow, the darkest a golden brown. Keep it in that range. The drug combo would be a good start. If it is helping then keep taking it. There is such a thing as chronic prostatitis and it is possible that you could be affected by it. Let us know about the results of the MRI, I am curious. Allen

If you want your opinion to have any weight with someone that is reading it, then you need to write like you have some intelligence. Writing like you did above (again) makes your opinion lost as it is not understandable, not intelligent, and not something that anyone would take seriously. Let me put it another way. If your doctor (or any other professional for that matter) wrote like you did above, would you take anything that they said seriously? More than likely not as you would be questioning if they went to med school or if they graduated at the bottom of their class. Again, you don't have to write like a best selling author, but writing like a three year old isn't going to win people over either. Allen

I think what Rihanna is trying to say, is that your opinion will be taken more seriously if you take the time to write better. Anymore I don't even read beyond the first few words when some writes like you did above. It is like trying to read a foreign language at times. Yes typo's and grammatical errors can happen, heck even spell check can be wrong sometimes, but take the time to put your thoughts in some order and use some basic structure. You don't have to write like Hemingway but at least make it readable. Allen

First, you should never be ashamed to talk to your doctor about anything. Trust me, they have heard, seen, and encountered almost everything. Tell him/her the same as you just told us (except for being an AB) as there are certain conditions like Bettypooh said that could be serious. Allen

Does the vesicare or flomax help the frequency? Which questions did he ask? Also if you could answer the questions for me. It might help as to what questions I could suggest that you ask the urologist. Tell him that you want a copy of the dictated results of all of the tests. If he gives you a hassle about it, tell him that under HIPPA that you have the right to them. If he still gives you a hard time, then remind him about HIPPA again and that you want your medical records so that you can take them to a new doctor. Bad doctors can and do happen. The trick is finding a good one. What I have learned is that YOU have to be your own advocate. My PCP hates me because she knows that I WILL ask for a certain test or lay out my own treatment plan. I ALWAYS ask for the test results (she now knows to come in the exam room with them already copied) and I always go over them WITH her. But in the end she knows that I am following the treatment plan a plus for any doctor/patient relationship. Also do you drink heavily? Allen

I think what you are missing is the reasoning behind a 2nd opinion. By saying that it can't hurt, I mean that there is nothing lost by seeking the advice of a 2nd doctor. I'll share my experience with you. I have been recently diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. Now according to you, I should have accepted the first doctor's diagnosis of a benign tremor. That the tremor in my hands, the difficulties walking, and other maladies mean nothing because the doctor said he didn't believe that I had anything to worry about. Even my PCP insisted on a second opinion. Went to the second neurologist, After an extensive workup (3+ hours not including the EEG), he believes that I have Parkinson's disease. After conferring with the department head (this was at a university medical school), I was told that it was Parkinson's. Now this is added on to a-fib, a ruptured disc and a herniated disc in my lower back (the real cause of my incontinence), and severe sleep apnea. So according to you, I should have accepted the first cardiologists opinion that I needed to have an internal defibrillator put in when I only needed to use a different med. Or that I should have accepted that I would have to use oxygen every night along with a respirator instead of just having to use my Bi-Pap machine in auto mode. Anyone should get a second opinion when they feel that the diagnosis and treatment is not right. It isn't doctor shopping to hear what you want to hear but rather to confirm or reject a diagnosis. Like I said the OP has nothing to lose by getting one. Allen

You have never been to two different sleep specialists nor to two different surgeons. Second opinions never hurt anything. I've been to 3 urologists and have had 3 different opinions as to my incontinence. The oldest of them said "it is all in your head" while the younger female actually took time to get a complete history, physical exam, and read through the reports from the tests and other urologists. She is the one that ordered a nerve test though I didn't need it after the MRI revealed that a piece of disc was pressing on a nerve root. The second and really young male urologist did the tests but referred me on to the female when he couldn't determine a cause. He mostly wanted me to pop pills. Again most specialists (except most neurosurgeons and orthopedists) rarely keep up with anything new. And I will use as an example the older urologist from above. If he had read the intake history and then questioned me about certain things much like I did with the original post, he would have seen that there is a multitude of things that can cause it. But instead, he did 2 tests (that were negative) and proclaimed it was in my head. Now if he had kept up with any type of education, he would have known what to ask and look for. He has basically become set in his ways and won't change. Do I advocate finding a fresh face out of med school? No, but a doctor that is younger will have a better understanding of what to look for. Aside from my neurosurgeon, I now see female doctors for anything as they actually listen better than male doctors. My NS is the exception because he really impressed me the first time I met him and he by far is the best doctor I have ever met. As to the OP, I still believe that a second opinion is in order. Allen

As the saying goes, "been there, done that, bought the all the souvenirs". The 2 are unrelated from what you have wrote. I suspect that the doctor is older and not up to date with current treatments. Have you had a sleep study? How is your sleeping patterns? Are you a very sound sleeper? Have you had any back/hip injuries? Did you have any bed wetting problems as a child? Are you diabetic? Are you under a lot of stress? Did this start out of the blue? These are the types of questions that he should be asking as sleep apnea, very deep sleep, diabetes, stress, injuries, and history could be a contributing factor. It might not be possible to "train" your way out of it. I would look for a new doctor. Someone younger and more knowledgeable about causes. But if you could answer the questions above, there might be more to it. Allen

First, don't be embarrassed. Many adults use diaper services. Cloth is a good option in your situation. Talk it over with them to find out if they can supply you. As far as "ick factor", I do know that they are washed just like hospital linens. I talked to a diaper service ( which I couldn't' use due to sizing issues ) and they assured me by showing me what I would get. Those samples were worn and very clean. They also told me that any that have stains are discarded. Check with the service that you are going to use, but I would guess that they have the same policies. As with any cloth diaper, you will want to use plastic pants. As far as pins, that is going to depend on what they use in adult size. The one I looked at uses snap diapers. Allen

I think in some respect that you are right. Most that have thought about it wouldn't or couldn't make it after it became real work and the novelty wore off. The posts that bother me though are the ones from young adults that I believe really don't know what it is like to be incontinent later on in life nor understand what an incontinent person goes through on a daily basis. My post was directed at them as well as those that are seeking physical ways to make themselves incontinent. I would like them to think about the reality of their desire. Now don't get me wrong, I am all for 24/7 wearing and if you choose to lose continence when partaking in an AB/DL scene. When one though wants to make the incontinence permanent, they really need to understand and hear both sides of the story and then make a plan on what they want to do. If they do decide after thinking about it to go through with it, then I agree that they get what they deserve. Allen

Well said