bluedot

Well in that case... I have a mission for you!

I am worried that I will simply burn out after a few days or a week. But ya never know until you try. Lunch with grandma means I take my grandma out to lunch at least every other week. If I do NOT take her out to lunch then its something bad. Basically all the things on the list are things that I have a desire to improve. So I'm hoping I can successfully mix my fetish with my life in a positive and productive way. Let ya know if it works

You may very well be right. I figure it might be fun.. might help keep my apartment clean. If it doesn't work then I'll scrap it.

Let me give you some background. I have been a diaper lover for all my life. Diapers have consumed my day dreams for as a long as I can remember. Depending on my mood I can be more of an AB sometimes and more of a pure DL other times. I live alone in an apartment with a cat, named "cat". I have a beautiful girlfriend that spends about 50% of her free time at my apartment with me. She knows about my fetish and does her best to participate. This includes being my "mommy" to a limited extent. She will diaper me but never change me, as she thinks it is gross. Our biggest disconnect is that she will never be the one to originate the role playing. So I always have to be the one to say "hey do you want to be my mommy today?". While this is minor, and I shouldn't complain when I am so lucky to have her anyway, it still takes a large part of the fun away.. but this is a bit off topic. I get the feelings that I am not the only ABDL with constant frustration about the ABDL fetish. As someone who does not medically need to wear diapers (although recently I have been having some accidents..) I find myself at endless war with myself as to whether I like diapers or hate them. While I never get to the point where I want to throw all my diapers out, I am always self conscience about the whole thing. Sometimes I wish I was incontinent, not because it would make me feel like a baby, but because I wouldn't always be afraid that people thought I was a pedophile. Living with this persistent frustration has resulted in low self esteem, depression and a struggle with motivation. Now for the point of this post. I recently asked my girlfriend to take a load off my shoulders by being the one that decided when I wore diapers and when I did not, 100% of the time. What I hope this will accomplish is remove some of the mental conflict. For example I love wearing diapers in public, but I usually am miserable when I do because all I can think about is: "Am I weird for doing this? Oh crap I am weird for doing this! Why did I do this?!? You are so dumb, I can't believe you did this you pervert. You should just go tell that cop you are a pedophile and have him lock you up forever!" Maybe a bit dramatic but you get the picture. In the above example if it was my girlfriend or "mommy" decided I was going to wear diapers, perhaps my conscience will shut the hell up, and I can just be like "Hey its not my fault! she made me do it." So to that end I developed a mini goal system, and a chart to keep track of it all: Feel free to steal this and use it yourself. The follow is the list of offenses. The numbers on the right are 24 Hour days in diapers, and the spankings I get commit the corresponding offense. 1 No diaper during diaper time 14 - 100 2 Trash Out 1 - 10 3 Clean Kitchen 1 - 10 4 Clean Bathroom 1 - 10 5 Clean Bedroom 1 - 10 6 Clean living Room 1 - 10 7 Cussing 0 - 20 8 Snapping or Getting Angry 1 - 30 9 Lunch With Grandma/2 weeks 7 - 80 10 Workout 3 times/week 5 - 50 11 Clean Litter Box 1 - 10 12 Pay Bills on Time 14 - 50 13 Keep chart updated Double both scores 14 Other Decided by Mommy Rules 1 Mommy is always right. 2 No exceptions, offense MUST result in the a minimum of the listed punishment. 3 Spanking chart must be reconciled by the end of the every day. 4 Baby is responsible for reminding Mommy to reconcile the chart. 5 If Baby resists Spanking, the Spankings doubles, and Baby must take Mommy to dinner and movie of Mommy's choice. Or anything Mommy wants. 6 If Baby argues about the amount of Spankings, the Spankings doubles and baby must give Mommy a full body rub. Or anything Mommy wants. 7 Mommy may adjust chart score for reasons not on the list, for any amount. The "Or anything Mommy wants" is literally that, so make sure you trust your Mommy if you use this system I have a chart on my wall with 4 columns: Date, Days, Spankings and Reason. The date column contains the date of an offense. The days columns contains the days of diaper time I get because of the offense. The spankings column contains the spankings I get because of an offense. And the reason columns is the reason I am getting the diaper time or spanking. i.e. the offense I committed. I also put notes everywhere in my house saying "check goals chart" or "reconcile goals chart" so that neither me or my girlfriend can forget about it. So basically it goes like this: If my girlfriend comes over and the kitchen and bathroom are a mess (see offense 3, and 4) I am immediately put in "diaper time" for 2 days and I get 20 spankings by midnight that night. I am responsible for updating the chart, which adds to the effect, as it is humiliating being told to go write down how many spankings I am about to get. The diaper time does not actually start until midnight that night. So If she comes over at 8am I actually have 2 days + the rest of that day. The diaper time is a zero exceptions. Does not matter where we are going or what we are doing. The diaper time is additive with no break. Hence, if I get 2 days of diaper time and a day later I am caught without a diaper I get 15 more days of diaper time. during diaper time I must gather up all of my underwear and wash them, then I put them in a backpack which mommy locks closed with a padlock she only has the key to. If I keep a pair of underwear its basically Armageddon to my butt. As for the bathroom it is 100% up to mommy. During diaper time she can say I can use the bathroom or not. Often I will use the toilet during the day, as it cuts costs on diapers. I have no idea how well this will work as we just started it. I am sure we will need to adjust numbers here and there, and add/remove rules offenses. I'll keep you updated on my experience. Some current additions I am considering are: A webcam that she can request I show her that I am wearing a diaper at any time, for when I am not over. I have a pair of locking plastic pants, I may get one of those combination locks that Realtors use that have a key inside them. If the combination lock is resettable my girlfriend can lock me in the plastic pants and then text message me the combination whenever she decides to let me out. She could also just know the combination and tell me to lock myself in the pants and verify that I did so with the webcam, that way she could punish me without actually coming over. Edit: Sorry the formatting to work out how I wanted it to. I used Microsoft excel to write up the charts. This post has been edited by bluedot: Today, 03:27 PM

Hello Diseased88, We have been watching you for a long time. Remember about 5 months ago when you upgraded you Gateway model P-173X -FX to Vista and nothing would connect to the internet? That was when we first infected your computer. A pirated version of Crysis, shameful! The FBI will have a hayday with you. They will most likely have you in a federal prison...sucks your 21st birthday just 2 months away. Just kidding, Figured that stuff out after 2 minutes of Googling your screenname... I have no idea if any of it is true, and I don't care... the point is: You have NOT been hacked. Anyone who was a real threat to you would NOT tell you about it. Anyone who was a real threat to you would NOT contact you via AIM. I know nothing about you but, think about it.. why would a "good" hacker want to hack you? If you had been attacked by a good hacker they would have stolen your identity and stolen all your money... they don't CARE that you area furry. You are just shaken up cause somebody is playing a mean prank on you. Ignore them, they are doing it to get a rise out of you. If he/she contacts you again ignore him/her immediately.. and I PROMISE it will stop.

I'd be interested, I live in KCMO.

I live in KC area. I went o Johnson County Community College. Wore diapers there alot

Success! I bought a case of diapers from Bambino. They left it at the office, I went and picked it up with no problem. BTW... Bambino diapers are amazing..

Hey, I have been using Depends for a long time as my choices in my area are very limited. I have Walmart, K-Mart, CVS, Walgreens, etc and they all have the exact same selection of adult diapers. Depends, depends, depends.... some more depends. They all have their own brand of diapers too (Walmart brand, CVS brand, etc) which are for the most part very poor quality. I keep reading about diapers such as Abena X Plus and Bambinos and would really like to try them. Does anyone here actively buy diapers online and have them shipped to an apartment? I usually ship stuff I order online to a friends house as my apartment is in a kind of bad neighborhood and im afraid of things like computer parts getting stolen. I, for obvious reasons, cannot ship a case of diapers to a friends house so my question is how is your luck with shipping stuff to an apartment? Also kind of a stupid question, when you ship something to an apartment how does it work? do they just leave it on your doorstep or leave it with the office? Thanks! P.S. while I would be horrified if someone stole a case of diapers from me I really wish I could see their face when the opened it

Going to have to agree with sarah_ab. If you want friends and want people to be close to you, stop trying to make everyone feel sorry for you. Stop trying to dump all your problems on other people and start being someone that other people can dump their problems on. History has proven that the person who gives is far more content and satisfied with life then the person who receives. Stop begging for attention and start giving attention. I assure you satisfaction, security, and true happiness will follow.