ThomasInWVa

Auto accident in 2003. I am now completely urinary incontinent with other nerve related issues. I’ll get a ‘shock’ feeling in my legs at times. I leak seminal fluid and I’ll also have soft or dry orgasms without and erection and without ejaculating. I can have sex normally. To lower costs, I wear cloth diaper and plastic pants. I may use an Abena disposable depending on the situation.

Ok. Here’s my intro. I’m male, married, 40 years old and incontinent. I became incontinent after a minor traffic accident in spring of 2003. The accident was minor and my only injury was whiplash. But wasn’t as simple as expected. Within 40 minutes after the accident, I was feeling a heavy pain in my upper back and shoulders. My lower back was also sore but it was my upper back that really hurt. That day and the second day I thought it was just stress because my new truck was banged up and I had to deal with all that. Around the 3rd day my incontinence symptoms started. At first it was just a frequent and strong urge to pee. This wasn’t constant, usually happening latter in the day. It was the 4th or 5th day that I had my first ‘accident’. I was at home and my body just couldn’t hold it any longer and I just went. My bladder wasn’t full at all since I just went about 10 minutes earlier. As expected I got some Depends briefs just in case it happened again. I did not mention this to my wife or anyone else except my chiropractor. At this time I also started to leak seminal fluid. Not a huge amount but it does build up. I would also have ‘dry’ or soft orgasms at times. With no erection, I would have a series of orgasmic muscle contractions but no ejaculation. Otherwise sexual function was not affected except that my back hurt so much sex wasn’t really and option. Over the course of the next few days, the leaks and loss of control got worse but I didn’t totally lose control. I would be fine at night and the morning. Afternoons and evening were the problem. Now at the same time, my shoulders, back and legs were hurting. In my legs I would experience a feeling like an electrical shock at times. This was most disconcerting. My minor loss of urinary control was not my biggest problem or concern for a simple reason, it didn’t hurt. My back was in constant pain. But what really made me afraid and worried me was the memory loss. On the 4th day I was at an event for my Wife’s work and we were sitting at a table with my father-in-law and some close friends I had known for years. I realized I could not recall my father-in-law’s name nor the names of our friends. I was completely blank on the subject. Latter I realized I had forgotten combos to my safe and some very important passwords. This was a very serious problem. But the memory loss was temporary. After about the 10th day it was fine. Because of this, the incontinence sort of ‘snuck up on me’. For a number of months my incontinence was back and forth. I would go for a few weeks with some loss of control in the afternoons and evenings. Only a couple of times did I ever wet at night. I had expected it because I had irritated my lower back so I was wearing a diaper. This “back-and-forth” lasted until last fall. I had a period where things were fine for months. I would still get frequent urges to pee but I could hold it and was in control. I still wore a light diaper during the day and sometimes at night. After the new year (2007) things were really starting to look up. I was in good control but I knew things were not as they were. I would still leak seminal fluid at times. And the soft orgasms still occurred. But things completely shifted in late Feb of 2007. With absolutely no warning at all, I loss all urinary control. I had not stressed my back nor had any injuries. My back felt ok. I was driving home and felt I had to pee and I immediately went with no control at all. It was one of the few times where I had no control at all. And it has been that way ever since. Day and night. On top of that, the ‘shock’ feeling in my legs is more frequent and the seminal fluid leakage and soft orgasms are back. The soft orgasms happen much more often. Nearly every time I am still. Sometimes they can be quite intense. While annoying, they usually feel very, very good and can be highly distracting. Without ejaculating, the sexual arousal feeling doesn’t go away and at times builds. Because of this my body produces more seminal fluid and it leaks very heavily at times. There is no sperm in it, just a clear sticky fluid. -I can have sex normally. The problems are all a result of nerve damage in my lower back. My chiro and other doctors warned me that this could happen sometime after the accident and it finally did. Specifically, my body holds urine just fine, its just that now as soon as I feel that I have to go, my body releases on its own. Sometime I don’t get the ‘to go’ feeling at all and I just pee. There are also times where I should pee but I don’t. I can feel the pressure in my body but I don’t have the feeling that I have to go but then I’ll suddenly go very, very heavily. I don’t leak. Its either all or nothing. So, I’m now completely urinary incontinent with some extra problems throw in. I never really ‘got’ how this effects someone until I had to wear diapers all the time for about a week. I’m getting to the point where I realize that I’ll always be in diapers. But I’m not the kind of person that feel sorry for myself of laments life’s turns. I am not an AB or a DL. I just have to use diapers. Because of the seminal fluid leakage, I can’t use a cath. Not that I would want to anyway. To me, diapers are just the type of underwear I have to use. I do not get ‘turned on’ by diapers. Actually it’s the opposite. Personally, I feel that ABs or DLs have a few screws loose somewhere. But I also understand that is isn’t something that they have control over either. I understand what could cause it so it isn’t something to hate or fear. It just isn’t something that I’m not into. Some of the overt AB and DL stuff is a bit much but I won’t have a problem with it. I would never talk to anyone except my chiro about my condition but even then she can’t help with questions about diapers or wearing them. So a place like this could be helpful. And sometimes I just need to shout at the World. So, that the super condensed version of what happened to me.

I don't like to wear diapers but I do know that feeling when I'm not wearing them. I know that I can go at anytime (except right after) so that makes me a little edgy when I'm not in a diaper. I also leak seminal fluid so I really need to wear something at all times. I have been in the exam room with my diaper pulled down and I just peed with no warning. I really can happen at anytime.

Thanks. Makes sense.

BabyKeiff', What is a TB? I have not heard of that before. I know what AB and DL means. ThomasinWVa

After I had my auto accident and I was only partially incontinent, I too wondered if wearing a diaper would cause me to me ‘more’ incontinent. I did not find that to be the case. I did sleep better knowing that I didn’t have to worry about wetting the bed. Usually I would not wet the bed. Plus there were times when I would intentionally use my diaper at night because getting out of bed would be painful and it would be very hard to get back to sleep. Even that didn’t cause the problem to get worse. Except of the fact that thick nighttime diapers can cause back issues, I don’t believe that wearing a diaper at night can cause you to wet the bed. It doesn’t matter if it is cloth or disposable. Of course some people are different and I could imagine how wearing a diaper could cause someone to become more incontinence or even loose full control. But I would imagine that if you were such a person, you would already know. If you might pee or leak at night I suggest you wear some sort of protection. Plastic sheets are not enough. You can easily soak your bedding and wake up freezing. The important thing is to get a good nights rest. If you tend to wet your diaper at night but sleep well, it may be worth it. ~ThomasinWVa