ThomasInWVa

Yes, I think it may have been. Though the stress is not longer present. In fact, I'm very relieved with finally knowing, But the condition have not improved. Total incontinence and sexual issues. In some ways, they are worse. I came on today to vent a bit but I have no idea where to post my comments. They are not my usual sort of content as I feel to need to be very sexually explicit. (Its not vulgar, just very weird and not my usual style.) I don't usually discuss this sort of thing online even when anonymous.

Just saw this and immediately thought of this thread. https://youtu.be/MjqssEC_lVY

Thanks. An update is that I may be extended until the end of the year. That help the planning a bit. I will look into Medicare and the VA. But my current income level is a tad on the high side compared to those who need these services. As it is, we are adding to my stockpile of cases of disposables in storage. I have 14 cases now. Want to get up to at least 25. I also want to get sealable plastic containers to store them in. Working at home, I can usually be fine with just 3 diapers per day. This gets me about 5 more days per case. And I'll be seeing if going back to cloth is a workable way to reduce some costs. I'm not concerned about the job market. Seems my skills are still in demand. And it looks like remote work is more more likely.

Being a victim these days is a status symbol. So lots of people want to appear as victims and need to celebrate their victimology. They also need/want to be told that their chosen bit of crazy is ok along with a massive dose of sympathy. I used to think the AB/DL crowd were coocoo bananas but over the years I've realized that its nothing to compared to how freaking nuts the rest of the World is. It sort of makes sense that someone would want to go back to a simpler age. Diaper and/or baby stuff is a lot better than destructive drugs, and other behaviors. And I can attests that one can get emotionally attached to something like diapers. I didn't even know I was getting stressed and anxious when not in diapers and it was impacting my incontinence. So what the hell do I know? Not much except that if someone wants to be incontinent or have a reason to wear diapers or act like a baby from time to time as a coping mechanism with this insane World, I'm ok with it if it helps. And as I look back over my years, I think doing fun crazy - but unharmful stuff, is the way to go if it makes you happy.

Ok, it appears that my sudden shift into complete urinary incontinence also included total ED. For about a week now, absolutely no erections. Not even a partial. Nada. I've resisted taking any ED meds in the past as I didn't want to deal with the side effects. Especially being prone to Afib and palpations. I still have a strong sex drive and urge. I can have an orgasm but ejaculation isn't strong at all. But the overall quantity of semen produced seems the same. Going for a referral to the right specialist but also hoping to get some suggestions from the group. Not looking for sympathy. But any idea or helpful experience would be appreciated. Thanks

Shaping up to be an eventful week. Just informed the company is contracting and I'm one of many getting "involuntarily reduced" by the end of the 2nd quarter. And to be a topper on the week there was a significant change in my urinary incontinence over the weekend. No longer have any control of the bladder and don't get any sensation if urination at all. Actual flow is much more constantly low than at sporadic intervals. What was happening was that my bladder would fill with a small amount of urine before releasing in its own. That seems to have completely stopped. I would also briefly awaken at night while urinating. Since Saturday night I'm sleeping completely through the night. This may very well be the final step to complete urinary incontinence. I have about a dozen cases of disposables in storage. About enough for months. I may be forced to argument the plan with cloth diapers. I really don't want to do that. The only way I can tolerate cloth is with frequent changes and having all area under the plastic pants to be covered with heavy diaper creme. (Butt paste cream) I need to work out the costs for disposables. I'm spending about $2K per year from my health savings account on disposables. Was able to get urology appointment for early May - of this year. So that's good.

I know this struggle. My solution was to only wear pull ups for very short periods around the house. For example, my night diaper is heavy so I put on pull ups knowing I'll shower and wear an actual diaper afterwards. Pull ups are good for one heavy use - usually. But they are notorious for leaking. So long ago,I realized the only confident solution was to wear the actual tabbed diapers. The best quality I can get. These days that is Bettry Dry Larger through Northshorecare.com. There are no mobility or other advantages to pull ups. In fact, changing a pull up requires removing your trousers. Its much easier to change out tabbed diapers. The confidence factor with good tabbed diaper can't be discounted. I genuinely don't worry about leaks or other issues. I can go 8-12 hours and not be concerned. I used to think that pull ups were better when going thru airport security but that is not the case. Tabbed diapers are not an isssues. Oh one place I do wear pull ups is for doctor visits. It makes things easier of I have to lower briefs. I always have extra tabbed diapers for afterwards. TL;DR Go with tabbed diapers all the time. It is easier and you won't have to worry about leaks.

The wife laughed at this. At our age this wouldn't work. hell, these days, we could claim some sort of special victim status and get brownie points. Or we could go weird and I could do some sort of thing and get my own YouTube following. Employers would be prevented from firing me, hell could even get promoted to a senior level with a mult-race wife. On the serious side, people are claiming new genders and orientations in order to be protected from getting laid off. Just coming out as wearing diapers wouldn't work. But if I was some sort of sexual identity it would work. Since I'm on the fat side, something furry, with a diaper, and would need to throw in some sort of sexual thing so it would have to be a form of bi. Oh, perhaps some sort of trans-bi only. So not actual penises other than my super tiny hidden pee pee. The wife an I had fun creating some new SJW personae for me/us. A diaper bear or rabbit, wearing frilly girly dresses, who is into male trans (no penises) or other fat baby girly guys with tiny wee wees. At my age, as long as the wife is on board, I'll bend anyway I have to do keep a job, healthcare, and retirement.

Those would be some serious pervs.

I don't think you or anyone would like to see that. A fat guy in a diaper with no visible penis and a fat hawaiian woman both in their 50s, in a 69 posisition (her on top) grunting and grinding for 30 minutes before falling asleep like that. Oh, and she just said to mention waking up with sticky cum hair wet with pee.

I know exactly what you mean. I used to have a slightly above average presentation but over the years it has literally disappeared, the main factors are putting on weight and an lack of muscle tone in that area. The usual blood flow during arousal doesn't automatically occur. The little guy tends to tuck all the way back and no penis is visible when flaccid. Literally flat. Sometimes the tip will make an appearance but it will usually retract after a while. When an erection occurs, it will make an appearance and is normal. The catch is that the hyper arousal pretty much much wore out my ability to get an erection. I can and still do get them. But it takes time and usually doesn't reach firmness until just before ejaculation - if its going to get firm. Most ejaculation and orgasms occur when the guy has no erection or firmness whatsoever. My case is more related to my back injury and weight gain. On the plus side, after my heart ablation surgery for Afib, I'm am getting more firm erections and have had a number of cases of morning wood which hasn't happened in well over a decade. So my heart function also must have contributed a lot to the issue. When the sexual issues started after the accident, the hyper arousal caused intense long lasting erections. While this sound fun it isn't. Mostly because the prostate will stop all urine flow. This lead to intermittent and Foley cauterization. Using a catheter normally is not a problem once you are used to it. But using a catheter during a very stiff erection can be painful. I think the repeated catheters during this finally caused the erections to stop occurring based solely on sudden physical arousal. Seminal fluid production and leakage did not abate nor did the orgasmic contractions. For quite a while I was a bit of a barely controlled mess. TL;DR I too have a very hidden penis. No visible penis is the norm for me these day. Due to weight gain, heart issues, and muscle tone. Looks back but not a problem.

Thank you @Evelyn Dellcerro I showed this to my wife and her response was typical. "I'm not a champion, I just like you in my mouth." And she told me not to write that! Seriously though, she was touched by your reply. I know I was. She really is something. She has never complained about it in the 18 years I've been incontinent. Early on after the accident I was having more than a bit of a hard time, she was a rock. She was happy it wasn't worse. I could still work and had no major long lasting effects except the incontinence and sexual issues. I don't usually discuss the sexual issue of my back trauma except in broad strokes. The truth is if it wasn't for my wife, I would have been a mess and/or would have compromised my personal ethics. About about 6 months after the accident and for many years afterwards, in addition to urinary incontinence, my sexual function was in overdrive out of control. Constant production and heavy leakage of seminal fluid, spontaneous orgasms and loss of erections. At times, it was maddening to awaken at night hyper aroused, unable to have sex or to be satiated. What my wife did to help out is pretty unbelievable. But no complaints, no tiring of me or getting disgusted. She stepped up and took it all in stride without complaint. (Well, no real complaints.) She is my rock. Yes, she has put up with a lot and she never once piled on to my problems. She's just as randy and active now as she was 20 years ago. Over the year, the incontinence has become constant. There was a time were were hopeful it would improve but those times have passed. Sexually things have calmed down a bit as well and/or I can tolerate the mayhem better. Now I'm rambling. Thanks for your kind words.

They don't make a catheter for this but I was able to do this when I had retention issues. Basically a 5cc Foley but modified by cutting the line and plugging the saline line. The problems is it irritates the end of the penis. The solution was to compress the penis so that the catheter could be cut so it was deep inside the penis. This is more than tricky as the edge of the tubing can irritate the inside of the urethra. But cutting the drain line on a slant and plugging the saline side with a rounded end worked. The penis easily covers the end of the tubbing. Retrieving the end is not hard. To remove the cath, just cut off the plug and the balloon deflates and is easily and painlessly removed. This basically creates a stent for your bladder. Used this for 3 weeks at a time for about 5 months. No UTIs. It did take a number if tries to get the depth correct. Ejaculation and is not impacted except that urine will still leak during sexual activity as the prostate cannot close off the flow of urine. I only know that ejaculation was possible was because I would have spontaneous ejaculation and seminal fluid leakage back then. I knew this was risky when I did it but bladder retention can be very uncomfortable. And in my case, very unpredictable. My urologist was surprised I didn't get a UTI but surmised it might be because the urethra stays closed much like in normal incontinence. Btw, I wrote on my lower abdomen with a sharpie that an internal cath was in use. Just in case I was brought to a hospital unconscious.

In January, I had heart ablation surgery. It went well with very little overall discomfort. This is about the 6 hours in recovery with urinary incontinence. The surgery itself takes about 5 hours and requires the insertion of hearth catheters in the center top of both legs. The incisions are large and are the main reason for the recovery period. For 5 hours you are basically on your back and not allows to move and open the sutures in your legs. The surgery also involves a lot of intravenous fluids and post operation urination is quite high. There is no record of any urinary catheter use during the operation. I arrived in the operating room wearing a diaper. This wasn’t a problem with the surgical team and they mentioned they will just remove it when ready. It takes a few minutes to prep before they knock you out. I woke in recovery to the news that the operation when well. I immediately noticed I was already wet. I mentioned my incontinence to the staff and the solution was to take another rolled cotton blanket and place it between my legs. Since they already have you on a waterproof mattress pad and just use blankets to soak up the urine. After an hour I was quite wet and mentioned to the staff that I had a supply of my diapers. I wasn’t allowed to move or to wear them due to the leg sutures but they had no problems helping out. I wasn’t allowed to move but they could move me to change the bedding and clean me up a bit. With business like efficiency, they quickly had the pad and blankets changed out as well as laying down one of my diapers so it could provide a dryer feeling. They did the changing and cleaning without ounce exposing my genitals or putting any strain on my legs as they rolled me around. The ladies were total professionals. I asked why they didn’t do a catheter and they said there was no need. This is the usual way they handle it when the patient isn’t allowed to move post-op. After some time they start to allow you to sit up. After 5 hours you can stand and they make sure the sutures are holding well. Then after another hour, I was able to put on a diaper as usual and check out. I was surprised at just how much urine I produced. Urination was nearly constant for the 6 hours and very high in the evening and through the night. I also had to have yet another set of emergency eye surgeries and in those cases, I was able to wear a diaper thru the procedure once I mentioned. One anesthesiologist mentioned that you don’t urinate under the general anesthesia they normally use. Which makes a lot of sense as urine output for the next 48 hours is much lower than usual. All three times as I awoke slowly post-op, the first thing I noticed was heavy urination occurring.

Yes. The only impact is that I don't suggest oral unless its right after a shower. After nearly 20 years, she's woken up in many wet beds and has been peed on (unintentionally) enough that it no longer phases her. Oh, it does impact post coital cuddling as I must get back into a diaper or brief quickly. Its inevitable that once the erection is gone, leakage will begin and may quickly become heavy. And before you ask, yes, leaking during oral sex has occurred. To be very crude, my wife says it has more odor than taste and isn't as bad as getting used to a guy cuming in her mouth. BTW, this was the reason I had my pubic hair completely removed - to reduce urine odor. After a while, no amount of soap can fully eliminate the urine odor from pubic hair.

So our new Health Secretary is openly trans. This isn't about that. (I don't care.) This images was circulated as being her. My immediate thought was that I was seeing an AB/DL. Anyone agree that our health sec may also be an AB/DL?

"Hey bud, look like you sat on something wet."

I'm only urinary incontinent due to a back injury. It took me years before I finally accepted the fact that diaper were just going to be usual for me. My symptoms were initially sporadic and I tried to convince myself my condition was improving. I would stop wearing diaper as soon as I could. As you can imagine, the return of my incontinence was usually sudden and not at the most opportune moments. This push-pull from wanting not to need diaper and needing them caused a weird situation were I became emotionally attached to wearing diapers. I didn't realize it was happening. I would be very stressed and anxious when I wasn't wearing a diaper - because I never knew when I would suddenly have no control. Eventually, my physical condition deteriorated to where I very seldom have even marginal urinary control. I never wanted to "like" to wear diapers and I still don't. But I realize I really must. Even if I have some control, it won't last and I must be ready. So at the very least, I must wear absorbent underwear (pull ups). But I've come to terms that the diapers will always be a necessity. A rather expensive one, but there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. At lease I'm not anxious and stressed as I used to be. You situation is much harder to deal with than mine. The one thing that has help is that I'm only urinary incontinent. I was warned it could become fully incontinent but I'm so very fortunate there has been no sign of that. My only advice would be to find the best solution to keep your stress low and life manageable.

Some seminal leakage is normal. You body will expel excess sperm and seminal fluid. The higher your testosterone, the more likely this will happen. Its why we have wet dreams during puberty. As expected, do talk to your medical professional. - be ready for blank stares and you may have to talk to a urologist and/or male reproductive specialist. Due to a back injury I've explained ad nauseam on the site I very often leak seminal fluid with and without semen. I will also have spontaneous orgasms of different strength without ejaculation (dry orgasm), ejaculation with semen, forceful expulsion of seminal fluid during an orgasmic contraction, and all of these can be accompanied by light or heavy flow of seminal fluid. I've also had times of seminal fluid leakage from light spotting to very heavy production of seminal fluid. Desire or drive for sexual activity is usually not present. Though I have notice that after about a 10 to 14 days of no sexual activity, I will usually have a wet dream, a deep spontaneous orgasm, or a heavy expulsion of ejaculate - seminal fluid with semen. I've talked to my doctors and this seems to match higher T levels. The wet dreams, or other spontaneous ejaculations are heavier after periods of no other sexual activity. As for "sex drive" or desire, during these events, it is random. There are times of intense, distracting, need for sexual release, at other times, no desire whatsoever. The ability to get an maintain an erection can also be just a random. Very high sex interest, no erection. Hard, long erection, no sexual desire. Pretty much any combination you can imagine. Though over the last few years, my overall sex drive has decreased. I can sometimes go over a week not even thinking of sex until suddenly, I start to have an orgasm, ejaculate, or leak semen. It usually happens at nigh with a heavy wet dream that awakens my wife with my moaning and squirming. I sometimes sleep right through them only to realize it was a wet dream when I awaken. In my case, this is caused by nerve trauma. Overall it has decreased over the last 5 years though it can flare up at any time. I had a minor wet dream last night and a number of mild orgasmic flutters this morning. Without any desire for sex. It doesn't take much seminal fluid leakage to create quite a mess. My sexual issue started a little before my urinary issues. A small constant leak of seminal fluid will leave a sticky mess in your underwear and can even soak though some pants. In my case it was a small constant stream, exactly like a runny nose that wouldn't stop. (Imagine the whites from 2 eggs in your underwear and its very close.) The nerve trauma is also the cause of my urinary incontinence issues and constantly wear diapers.

Thanks. I'm not taking any antibiotics right now. Just a blood thinner and meds to regulate the heart rhythm. I've haven't read anything about broccoli being an issue for afib. I'll look into. I'm back on my keto diet and fasting for 15-18 hours a day to loose weight fast. Also eliminated all carbs from my diet as my blood sugar levels were quite high.

I have them occasionally. Used to be very frequent. Mine are mostly flutter and flip-floops, and strong but not painful contractions. Always some leakage. Sudden heavy leakage with the contractions. Not so heavy these last few years as the bladder muscles don't do much. Usually flutters and quivers. Due to lower back nerve trauma. It also causes sexual dysfunction as well. Erection issues, and spontaneous orgasms and/or ejaculation. Happened a lot years ago but not so much now. These days I'll get very sexually aroused and it will build with a series of mild orgasmic flutters, and instead of building to a sudden ejaculating contractions, it will build to an ejaculation without contractiins. Ejaculate flows out for a bit.

Last Saturday, I woke up early with a racing heart. Felt lousy. Knew I was in afib and had to get to the ER as I was out of breath. Got out of my night diaper and plastic pants and put on a new diaper. Completely forgot to put my usual underwear over it. Grabbed some cutoff sweatpants over the diaper and a t-shirt. Wife got me in quickly. They put me on IV meds and it it helped a little. Wasn't going to go into cardiac arrest. Because of Covid, wife had to stay outside. And they couldn't admit me there, I had to be transported about 40 miles away to the regional hospital. Normally that diaper would have been fine until evening if I pushed it but that IV fluid runs right through! That and the way I was sitting on the er bed meant I was soaking the bed by the time the transport arrived. My wife was able to pack a case of diapers and other stuff. I was able to change at the regional hospital but no shower as I was wired up. Plastic pants were not allowed and they only cath for a medical reason and incon isn't sufficient. The diaper situation sucked. They brought in a stack of disposable pads to catch leaks, which were frequent. As I was ambulatory, I could change on my own. That helped. They offered hospital diapers but I declined as mine were better. I was a bit surprised what one RA suggested when I mentioned how uncomfortable I was late the first night. She said I didn't need the diapers as the pads will work just fine and that's what most bedwetters do. I didn't think it was something I would do - until the next night. Lucky for me, they changed my meds late Saturday and I was off the IV. This helped cut down on the very heavy urination. But at about 9pm on the Sunday, I had to get out of the diapers. They were hot and itchy. I had no shower since Friday evening and baby wipes only do so much. I was able to sleep some though it was different to wet the bed without any diaper or underwear. So for the remainder of my stay until Monday afternoon after the Carioversion (zap). I was pads only. They made sure they were changed every 4 hours or so. I did the changes. They made sure housekeeping cleaned the floor when I leaked. Went through a stack of gowns too. Feeling better now but that's my recent hospital diaper adventure. Not something I recommend.

"Hoarding" is what those who are irresponsible and don't prepare accuse those that are responsible. Growing up, it was common that in winter, we would lose power for at least a week at a time, sometimes as long as 2 week. No phone for a week or more. And you may not be able to drive for a few days at least. So everyone prepared for such times. You bought beef a quarter or half cow at a time. You had extra freezers. You canned or froze food during the summer. You cut and seasoned 6 -10 cords of wood. (Note, cut and split wood takes a year to season.) You topped off your propane, and fuel oil tank by December at the latest. (In summer to get fuel oil cheaper.) Going into winter, we had 6 months of potatoes in the cellar. Canned goods for at least 2 months, some up to 3. Items like soap and detergent were bought in bulk and we'd have a few months on hand. This was before there were Costcos and Sams Clubs. This was NOT prepping. This was not "hoarding." This was normal. Everyone knew you had to be self reliant. But that you may also have to lend a hand to a neighbor if something happened. And BTW, this was CHEAPER to do than buying every week. These days we don't have such power outages but I still like to have enough food and goods on hand for a month. I USED to have a few months of diapers available when I had the space. But that was complacency and irresponsible. I'm already starting to build at least an 8 week supply of necessities. It is just common sense to plan for emergencies. Why have 6 months of cash on hand if there isn't anything to buy? Nope, not again! Kicking myself now for not buying that extra freezer. Just hope we don't have round 2 going into winter.

Received my order today. Email notifications didn't go out. All is well but I am going to accumulate a larger buffer incase of supply issues. As I'm working from home these days, I may rotate in cloth and plastic pants back into use. More laundry but not a bad idea. Don't have to worry about ointment odors.

Ordered another case of diapers from Northshore on Saturday. Should have shipped on Monday. As of Thursday it still has not shipped. I have an 18 day supply on hand with normal usage. Already starting to stretch out my supply. Pulling out the cloth and plastic pants from storage. Hope things start moving again very soon.