I can relate to being right in the middle of everything, but still totally alone. Not at the same scale as yours, though, so I won't pretend like I am in your shoes. I started a brony group in my city years ago not just because I enjoyed the show, but because I wanted to connect with people and try to overcome my social anxiety. However, it did not work out at all like I had hoped.
Oh, I am great at running things and keeping things rolling forward, and I see people making genuine friendships all around me, but none with me. I am acknowledged for what I am doing, but that's as far as it goes. When I see a pic of some of them hanging out randomly, I honestly feel jealous, because I wish it were me hanging out too. When I need help, suddenly nobody is there. When I implement a rule because someone was causing trouble, people throw a fit or try to ignore it. I feel like I give so much of myself, but I get so little back. When I start to feel like this, I feel so selfish, because I am looking for what I can get out of it, what's coming to me, why is it not coming to me? But, on the other hand, I gave so much, so why shouldn't I get something back?
Sometimes I feel like everyone is just using me, but I know it can't just be that (or I really hope not). Maybe it is something I do, or say, or the way I act (like my anxiety) that pushes people away. Sometimes I feel like I come off as a total jerk, even when I was just trying to express my opinion. Maybe they are jealous of my position, but I doubt it, because nobody seems to want to take over or help.
I have been on various meds, and some of them kinda helped with anxiety..but they made me feel so dead inside, not feeling very much, being able to be with people, but not really caring (I've tried so many too). Off the meds, I can be happy, or sad, I can feel alive, but I am alone and with no one to really talk to. Off the meds I can really give a lot, I can care, I actually want to do things.. but then nobody seems to care about me or can't stand to be around me.
I've talked to various psychologists too. I wanted them to tell me "you are screwed up.. you need to totally stop doing x because it drives people away and do y instead" but instead they just waste the time talking about specific situations and saying like it seemed like I was fine. But I am not fine. I didn't go to them and pay tons of money to just have a yes man. I can tell they don't really tell.
Sorry about going off about myself, I know this post was supposed to be about you, but on your site I am basically the person I am complaining about. I take enjoyment from your efforts in running this site, and I give nothing back. I really know nothing much about you, I haven't reached out to you, I haven't really tried to help you, I've accused you of idiotic things, I haven't cared, I haven't been there. For what it's worth, I apologize. Maybe it is just human nature to take advantage of someone who gives so much? I don't know.
I wish I had some great insight to share with you, to help you, because honestly I'd like to hear it myself.