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Her comment about how you don't change often is worth paying attention to in my opinion. You've mentioned how economical you are with diapers (I also enjoy optimizing things). But even high quality diapers start to smell and are not discreet. Women have a stronger sense of smell, and as her husband you are an extension of her. Your fashion/appearance etc are a reflection of her skills as a wife. (Not saying all relationships do or should work that way, but it is how a lot of people see things, and probably something that plays in her mind).
From your many posts here, she does sound like a great sport. Diapers are a lot and she has been very gracious in accepting it all (as you have already acknowledged). I think it would be wise to err on the side of changing more frequently, even at the expense of suboptimal diapereconomics. Something that's helped me is remembering "diaper are made to throw away". I want to push every diaper to the limits, but part of maintaining social continence is changing before the diaper is close to failure.
I live alone and relish in wearing until I leak, but when I am around others I am self conscious of smelling and having bulk so change a lot more frequently.
Idk, just some thoughts. Thanks as always for sharing I love reading your diaper diary.