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I feel my own diaper 

That's different, though. Gabby wants Tess to be a baby, so it's okay to force her; and she doesn't want Ffrances to be a baby, so that's off-limits.   93. My Baby Girlfriend I was speechless as Tess stormed out of the room and up to the nursery. She hadn’t just spat on all the effort I’d put in to make her comfortable with her little role; she’d degraded Ffrances as well, and actively forced her into a degrading situation. I couldn’t believe that such a sweet little girl would ever do something like that. Did she not realise how disgusting it was to make someone mess her diaper? Or did she not care at all for Ffrances’s feelings? In any case, she was gone before I could even make a sound. I needed to deal with the important issues first, and that probably meant a diaper change. “Come on, Ffrances,” I said, walking over to her and taking her hand. “I think you need a change now. Would you rather go back to being an adult, or have me clean you up first so you don’t have to deal with it?” I knew that was a pretty dumb question. It wasn’t the mess that was the problem; what she hated was the humiliation, and having control taken away from her. “Gabby!” she giggled, eyes wide. She seemed so happy; probably because she didn’t even realise fully what had happened. She was probably in shock, and it had pushed her so deeply into that littlespace that she wasn’t able to think clearly. All of those feelings would ambush her when she returned to normal, and I didn’t know if she would want a shoulder to cry on or someone to punch. I’d be there for her in either case; as much as Tess needed to be punished for what she had done, she was still a baby and she couldn’t be treated too harshly. Her punishment would have to come in a subtler, less physical form. Losing the choice about when she wanted to be little seemed perfect to me; and I made a mental note to tell Ffrances that once she was in a state to perform hypnosis again. “Back to normal,” I said. “You can be an adult now. Ready to grow up, Ffrances?” She shook her head, and wrapped her arms around me in the clumsiest hug I had ever seen. I really had to hand it to her for making hypnosis recordings that were so powerful, even on a subject who was trying hard to reject them. It wasn’t like what she had done to help Tess, who secretly knew that wetting her pants was going to be the key that let her become a baby for me. No, this was Ffrances herself, who knew all the techniques but was still unable to resist them even in such an extreme case. And for a second, I tried to imagine that she a real baby. What should I do in that case? How would I make her understand that she could just decide to end the trigger? “Mommy change me!” she giggled, and I knew that was probably my only choice. Sooner or later the day would end, or Tess would say the other trigger. But because of whatever blackmail my cousin was using, I wasn’t the one in control. I couldn’t save her no matter how much I wanted to, and I hated realising that I could no longer control how the day went. I led her up to my room. Most of the diapers and changing supplies were in the nursery, but I could see that the door was locked as we passed and Tess would only be mad if I let myself in now. There was spare stuff upstairs in any case, just not so neatly arranged. Ffrances giggled and danced on the stairs, coming close to falling but never quite losing her balance. It was weird having to treat her like a kid, but she didn’t really acknowledge me if I talked to her normally now. Perhaps she was too traumatised by what had happened, and couldn’t think clearly. Or she needed to escape the physical discomfort of a messy diaper before she would be able to think clearly. She wasn’t too wild. She lay down on the bed when I prompted her, but she didn’t seem to understand what was going on around her. It broke my heart to see her like that. I peeled back the tapes, and then I could confirm that this wasn’t just playing along with Tess’s perverse fantasy. She really had messed herself, showing that the child had all the control. I cleaned her up with a dozen baby wipes, then bundled them all up inside the diaper and put that in a bag so I could dispose of it. That was better. She wasn’t upset now, just a blissful smile on her face. The ordeal was over, and she could be in control again. At least, if she was able to come back without someone else triggering her. I grasped her hands and pulled her up, stroking her hair and reassuring her that I still loved her, and I still respected her. It shouldn’t have been necessary, but she’d been through a traumatic experience, and I didn’t want to leave any doubt at all about how I felt. I knew that the whole thing hadn’t been her; it had been what those suggestions made her do. And I wouldn’t think any less of her for trying to make the little happy. I did my best to reassure her, but she was just laughing, reaching out for the pack of diapers that were way out of reach. “You want me to diaper you again?” I asked. “Would that make you a happy baby?” She gave an energetic nod, so I gave her what she had asked for. It was so strange to think that my Mistress had lost herself this much. She was smiling, but she almost didn’t seem like the same person when Tess’s demands were overruling her thoughts. But if I let myself imagine she was a baby, I might even find myself enjoying this. I’d loved getting to diaper Tess earlier, it had been like all my dreams had come to fruition. I knew it was wrong to feel the same now, but I couldn’t help it. She seemed so small and helpless, and there was something in me that enjoyed powdering her up, and hearing her giggle as I blew a raspberry on her thigh. I taped up the diaper and called her a good baby, and she laughed as if I’d passed some test with flying colours. I was in love with Ffrances, and even when she was forced to act like a baby, I would do my best to make sure she was happy. But it was hard to cope, not knowing how she would cope when all the memories of what had been done to her came flooding back. “You feeling good, baby? Can you be a grown-up for me for a second, and let me know you can cope? I worry about you, and I just want to know that you’re good. Can you be a big girl for me?” I didn’t know she even understood. The hypnosis was clouding her mind, and she couldn’t understand how worried I was. All the problems I had seen today, everything that had happened to her, and every little worry through the day would hit her all at once when she woke up. But she was nodding. “Okay,” she mumbled. “I’m an adult now. All grown up. All…” and then her eyes were staring into space as all  the memories hit her. All the trauma, all the things I should never have allowed. I gave her a couple of seconds, and leaned forward to hold her close. I hoped that she wouldn’t blame me for how much my little had abused her. “You okay, Ffrances?” “Thank you,” she sobbed, squeezing me as tightly as any baby ever held a teddy bear. “Thank you so much.” “You okay?” I asked again. “I worried about you. I tried to get you back when I could, but I never thought she would go that far. I tried to warn you, but…” I realised I was starting to get hysterical, and just held her. I needed to be strong for her when she was vulnerable. “Thank you,” she whispered again, and I could feel the usual tenderness in her embrace. “Thank you, Gabby, and I mean that. I know this must have been hard for you, but you went along with it. And I had a wonderful time. This is the first chance I’ve had to see myself as a baby, and it felt so real. I’m so glad that we got a chance to do this.” “I’m glad you’re okay. That must have been hard. I’ve been thinking about how to deal with Tess. She needs to learn about respecting boundaries.” That was fairly tame; I felt that the child needed a very harsh punishment, but I still didn’t know whether that would discourage her from further experiments with her little side. “Gabby, have you not been paying attention?” “I saw everything,” I said. “I saw what she did to you. And I promise, I won’t let that happen again.” “Babe, are there any thoughts in your head or are you just repeating yourself? I’ve just told you that I enjoyed today, and I’ll be happy to do it again. Why are you making promises like that? Is this something you’re going to leave me over?” “What? No!” “Then you‘re not making rules about what I can and can’t do. Tess understands boundaries fine, babe. I told her that I’m happy to go through it with her. That anything you tell her to do, she can give to me. That’s the important thing. And from what I’ve seen, she didn’t attempt anything that went beyond that.” “She made you mess yourself like a baby!” I exclaimed. “How can you dismiss that so easily?” I could see the anger rising in Ffrances’s eyes when she thought about that. This wasn’t the placid calm of someone who’d just come out of a hypnotic experience, still accepting whatever she heard. I could see that she was getting upset as she went through her memories of the day and analysed them with an adult mind. I hoped she wouldn’t be too strict with Tess, but once she returned to her normal dominant persona, there was no chance that she would just forgive and forget. She might even think of stranger, crueller, or more effective methods than I had even considered. So in a way, I thought that this had turned out for the best after all. Tess had shown her true colours, and my job would be so much easier.

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You probably can     97. Learning Who’s in Charge Tess found herself shaking a little as she tried to fight against the way her body was moving. She knew she was just a little girl now, and she had agreed to this. She was helpless, and she was going to poop in her diaper just like a baby. Ffrances was even littler, but they hadn’t said the magic words to her. She was safe from this ultimate humiliation. And Gabby was just grinning, waiting for the humiliation to be over so she could gloat. She wanted Tess to be a complete baby and now she had everything she wanted. Tess couldn’t believe that she’d let herself get so carried away with the regression. “No!” she whimpered, dread of what was about to happen taking away any confidence from her voice. “I don’t wanna!” The childishness of those words just seemed to emphasise how dumb she’d been to get herself in this situation. She fought against the pressure in her mind and in her bowels, but even when she pushed as hard as she could, she knew there was nothing she could do to stop the inevitable. The intriguing power of the posthypnotic suggestions had been turned against her again. And then something clicked in her mind. She’d sounded like a child, sure, but she wasn’t thinking like one. She had all the grown-up words in her head, and she was dreading the next few moments without the unquestioning acceptance of a child. She didn’t want this to happen, and that disgust had pushed her all the way back to thinking kind of normally. Maybe it was one of the safety suggestions that Ffrances had insisted on; she still didn’t exactly understand how those had worked. But it was clear in her mind that this wasn’t an irresistible degradation. This was the last second at which she could still hit the brakes. Gabby would be disappointed, perhaps even angry with Tess for interrupting her game. Tess didn’t want to face whatever kind of revenge that subconscious bitterness could produce; probably making her life just a little harder in small ways for the next couple of weeks. But there was no way she could go through with this now. “I can’t do this,” she said, still struggling to make her body believe that. “I’m an adult.” The clouds vanished from her mind like someone had dropped a curtain. She could think clearly again; she could remember her day of renewed childhood, and she could think clearly about what she’d liked and what she hadn’t. It was startling just how quickly everything changed; it was certainly quicker than the words that had made her young again in the morning. She straightened up and tried to look dignified. Or at least as respectable as she could, given the way she’d just been behaving. She still felt bad about interrupting her cousin’s fun, but she was certain now that she wasn’t willing to go so far into childhood again. And she promised herself that this time, she wouldn’t be so forgiving. During their last regression experiment, when they had tried taking photos in the garden, Gabby had tried to make her wet her pants. She thought she had been clear in saying she didn’t want that to happen again, but apparently not clear enough. Perhaps the issue had been confused because a carelessly worded trigger earlier in the day had led to her peeing without Gabby’s involvement. But still, it should have been very clear that she wasn’t willing to go beyond that. “It’s okay,” Gabby leered, speaking in the kind of condescending tone that would have been more appropriate for a real baby. “You’re only little. Now, let’s get you changed before you get a rash.” “No. I’m sorry, I thought I could play along. But that’s just too much.” Tess felt guilty; she’d really intended to play along with Gabby’s fantasies, but when it came to it she hadn’t been able to. She could only apologise again, and hope that Gabby would understand. At the same time, she was berating herself on the inside for being too soft. Gabby must have known she was doing something that would make Tess uncomfortable, and she’d said it anyway. It was her fault that the day was coming to a premature end. But no matter how much Tess reassured herself, she couldn’t stop feeling guilty about not living up to her end of the bargain; and she kept on babbling meaningless apologies. She tried to explain at least, to say that one suggestion had gone too far and broken the headspace. But she wasn’t sure how much of that Gabby was ready to understand. She was acting like Tess was still a child in some ways. Tess made it as clear as she could; she said that she was going to go and get changed, and that she didn’t want any help. And she made it as clear as she could that although she was happy to keep on playing the role of a child, she wouldn’t let herself fully regress again until she was sure how far she was willing to go. “I was about to change you,” Gabby said. She still didn’t seem to understand. “You can be a little one, and let me take care of it.” “You really want to change a dirty diaper?” Tess tried to keep her expression neutral, but she couldn’t even understand that feeling. Even people who had real children, and said the baby was the centre of their world, would have listed diaper changes as one of the worst parts of the process. But the way Gabby talked about it, it was like it was something that really meant a lot to her. Tess couldn’t even start to understand. Tess glanced across at Ffrances, hoping that the baby wasn’t disturbed by the strange directions this conversation was taking. But she was still playing with a couple of toy cars, waving them through the air and banging them together like some weird kind of aircraft. But when Tess met her eyes, she wondered if she’d caught a very brief wink, or a flash of enthusiasm. Despite the childish demeanour, it was clear that she had expected this more than Tess had. And for a moment, Tess found herself wondering if she’d really meant it when she said she wanted to be a baby. “Maybe you should look after your girlfriend,” Tess pointed out, and watched Ffrances very carefully. She was sure the little one would really appreciate Gabby changing her, much more than Tess ever could. And if Tess could hint at what she was wondering, perhaps Ffrances would be able to offer a subconscious clue to let her know how she felt. “She’s been wet for a while now and you didn’t even check. I’m sure if it’s what you want, she wouldn’t mind being a bit littler.” Tess looked over. Ffrances was still focused on the toys, but a big grin spread across her face when she heard those words. She was enthusiastic, but was that just because she was in such a deep headspace that she was thinking like a baby? Was it something she would be angry about when she woke up? Tess’s mind raced for a moment, and she wondered if it would be crossing some line to make that decision. Ffrances had said she trusted her, but also that she didn’t imagine anything within the sphere of childish behaviour would be too far. If it was wrong, it would be so easy  to blame Gabby; to say that it was what the adult had wanted. Sure, thinking of excuses probably meant it was a bad idea. But at the same time, Ffrances had smiled, and Gabby seemed enthusiastic. Tess was scared of pushing too far, but she was also sure that she needed something to distract her cousin’s attention. Would it be better if she could find a way that still gave the baby the final choice? She could try… “Ffrances is so little now that if she wants to poop herself,” she said, hoping that would be enough to get through to whatever part of the subconscious mind knew what she really wanted. She hesitated just a second, and continued: “Her body will just take over and it’ll happen right away.” And then an excited nod from the baby gave her all the confidence she needed to call out “I’m a big girl, but she is that little!” before she darted out of the door and up the stairs to her own room. Tess was breathing heavily when she flopped down on her bed, the door locked and suddenly wondering if she had gone too far. There was no way to be sure, and the fear paralysed her. She lay on the bed for several minutes, not sure how much time had passed, before she could force herself to get up and grab a change of clothes from the closet. She wasn’t a baby now, and she didn’t want to be dressed like a baby. The better option was a light summer dress; a childish enough style that she would have been mocked wearing it since she started high school, but it wasn’t something that screamed toddler. She picked out clean underwear as well; the posthypnotic suggestions had ended now, so she wouldn’t have any more accidents. She dashed across to the bathroom, took off her diaper, and washed herself as best she could until she felt clean. She couldn’t stop blushing when she realised that she had in fact pooped a little before she regained control; just a single smear on her diaper. But there was no way Gabby could have known that, and Tess resolved never to share that information. Once she was changed into her new outfit, she did her best to calm down. She needed to tell her cousin that she never wanted that to happen again. Using the potty was embarrassing, but Gabby had done her best to ensure that Tess enjoyed it – even triggering her to be excited about using it before she knew what it was. That was a sneaky trick, but perhaps tolerable. That was something Tess could put up with, so long as she got something she wanted in exchange. But making her have accidents? No, that would be forever off-limits, and she would never trust anyone who thought that was acceptable. Still, she was dressed up now, and all the worries were fading again. Once she picked up her pacifier to help her calm down, she knew that she would be able to act a little childish, and enjoy the rest of her belated Christmas.

Thank you very much for the comment 😊 I have been busy with work lately, but I certainly intend to continue this whenever I have time. You won't have to wait as long for the next chapter; it is already in the works and quite far along.