Hello and just read your interesting post. I would bet a shiny dime that most AB/DL's to what ever varying degrees have had the same feelings. I am 43 and several times have felt like you. For me the main reason is that it is very very lonely. I am an AB boy searching for a woman to at least accept me for who I am so to speak. Maybe or maybe not that is part of the problem for you as well. Secondly I have fully accepted the fact that the general population does and for the for seeable future consider AB/DL's as abnormal!! I do understand that there are loving, open-minded people, I am stating a broad generality with a dose of reality. Will you ever anytime soon see a AB/DL President. Hell its only taken 300 plus years for a woman and an African American to have a decent shot. What if Tom Brady or another Tom as in Cruise came forward and stated to the world that they are Adult babies and or Diaper Lovers. The fact is there "lives '' in many ways would be runied. Yet if this might help you.... who gives a damn what others think!! You are right, what I/we do in privacy that does not bring harm to me or another is in fact knowbodies business. You also stated that you would like as part of feeling normal to share this with your close friend. WOW, I can't count the times I have had the same feelings yet I have never done so and don't plan on it. not even with my very best friend that I have known since I was three. There are ricks involved. Again it goes back to that "abnormal" thing. Through the years starting with DPF I have read several posts and the like. AB/DL's that wispered into anothers ear or got caught and found out the hard way excatly the risks. Divorced, beat-up, fired from a job, ex-communicated from friends/family/neighbors even some who sadly took their own life. I have read the really kool positive stories as well. Yet making a decision to tell a close friend should be based on all the facts, the risks and rewards. And for those that live their AB/DL very openly, I think more power to them! Its just nice to have a choice.