What Would Be Easier?

[Pwy ydy'r tad]

As a guy into both diapers and BDSM soon considering entering the uncertain world of online dating I put forward the following question:

What would be easier, to find a BDSM lover within the diaper community, or to find a diaper lover within the BDSM community?

Obviously if I go looking I'll look in both, I'm just curious.

[Topguy]

neither will be "easy"

[Eric D]

Yes, neither.

to find a matching partner liking the same fantasies as you do, no matter what those fantasies are is often quite difficult, especially if you go "beyond vanilla".

so, I suggest be open if incorporating diapers into BDSM play is what you want... accept that not everyone out there is "turned on" by the thought of diapers or being diapered...

don't be disappointed if it doesn't "happen" quickly.

[jenniebear]

never found a partner in the ab/dl community who was interested in bdsm.......though i do know they exist...

had two partners from the bdsm community in real time.........one of them being my Daddy........neither He nor the other Dominant i was involved with were ab/dl aware prior to my educating them.........

from my experience.......bdsm people are very open minded and willing to push the limits....the Dominants are also extremely conscientious of what makes their sub "tick" so to speak......much of their pleasure comes from tormenting and pleasuring their submissive....

i am of course speaking from a girls perspective. The few Dommes i know enjoyed playing with me in lil girl mode.......but i've never really broached the diaper wearing aspect with them...

in general those who i know from the bdsm community that i've met online have been pretty accepting of my ab/dl fetish.......including those i've met in real life just for play and friendship....

[dynamick]

Now that is a good question actually and one with no answer I can give. Here's my take on the problem from my point of view.

I've tried the "three pronged attack" - no thats not a move from Kill Bill or anything - it's a case of me looking for love/partner in BDSM circles, ABDL community and in a vanilla relationship.

1. In my experience as my closest "catagorisation" in the ABDL community is "diaper lover/bedwetter", a mummy/mommy is really not going to be an option as from my experience, although I've done ab-play before - it's not my thing and I think that the majority of "mommies" would be the cuddly/kissy type and not the ones who would prefer to hit me instead!

2. On the BDSM front - that's just as difficult! A suprising few Dominatrix (Dommes) who I have met will consider diaper play - although age play/school room is quite widely acceptable, not many will go for diaper play. I have had plenty of Domme/sub play within the BDSM community but none of if involved diaper play. I have met a few female submissives who wanted me to be "Daddy" but it wouldn't be fair on anyone for me to do that - I ain't no daddy! One time I did get into some interesting play with a female submissive who wanted to play "big sister" - she basically fed me blended food and we did some baby play - which was fun for a while.

3. On the vanilla (standard relationship) front - I've tried three approaches. I've told girlfriends either straight away, half way through a relationship or at a critical time. All, so far have failed. I've tried the "I wet the bed and wear nappies" line.....also the "I wet the bed, wear nappies but enjoy wearing them" line........and "I enjoy wearing nappies" line - all three are true and all three have failed miserably.

So which one do I think yields the better chance. In my opinion - that's harder to pick than a broken nose! but I'd go for the BDSM route (as my buddy jenniebear did), but never give up hope on whatever you do. I've tried and failed but I will keep on going - there might be some Mumsy Domme reading this right now in the UK fed up of the snivelling cry babies (joking!!) who just wants to beat me, then cuddle me and oooh if its not too much trouble put a diaper on me.....LMAO

Hope springs eternal

dynamick x

[Topguy]

I found girls I could diaper through the bdsm route as a Top,with subs like jennie. I doubt you would have much luck with it as a male sub.

[Teddy Bear Brian]

Well I can say that I met my wife Nicky as an AB/DL. Then jennie bear corrupted us by taking us into a naughty little chat room. We have since experimented quite a bit with BDSM. We regularly attend a munch and everyone there is pretty accepting of our ABDL side. I even met another person who was an very much into BDSM and she was a lil girl and that included diapers I believe. I guess its just luck. I met my wife and together we seem to get to meet some great open people. I hope you have the same luck.

[Pwy ydy'r tad]

Thank you all for your responses.

I appreciate that I've set myself a difficult task with this, but I think 'What would be less difficult' just didn't sound as good as a title.

I certainly didn't expect it to be quick either, nothing worth having is. I am fully prepared to put the groundwork in looking at profiles and meet as many people as necessary.

I may actually find it easier to incorporate, since what I'm into isn't strictly AB, I'm not into baby talk or anything like that, nor does it actually involve 'using' the diaper. I'm not a bedwetter nor do I require diapers for medical reasons, and while it wouldn't put me off someone if this was the case for them, it's certainly not a requirement. It's essentially just another choice of clothing or a different type of role play.

From what you've all told me the BDSM rout would be best. Once you've got past I want to tie you up and spank you/I want you to tie me up and spank me conversation introducing diapers doesn't seem too daunting. It's not that I'm planning on doing this anytime soon, there's a lot more I want to do before I get settled enough somewhere to try online dating. It's just something to think about.....