How To Tell My Girlfriend I'm A Dl

[Guest crinklepants]

I've been going out with my great girlfriend for almost 2 years, we have an awsome relationship, we bareley ever argue, and if we do we make up in minutes. Out relationship is excellent, I know she loves me as much as I love her, she gets real jealous over me, and she once told me she'd take her own life if I left her. She told me she tried once before I met her. Anyway I have no intentions of leaving her. I really want to tell her about my fethish. I'm a DL, I like wearing and peeing and thats about it, i'm not really into the baby stuff. I want to tell her real bad, I have a brand new pack of diapers ready for when I tell her. (if she's ok with it) But i'm afraid to tell her. I'm afraid she'll leave me, and i'm afraid that if she dosen't leave me she'll just think i'm a freak and tell everyone in her family, and my family. The only other person i've told is my grandmother. I lived with her growing up and we were real close. Any advice on how to bring the topic up or anything would be greately appreciated, thanks for the help!!!!

CrinklePants

[Eric D]

I know your situation quite too well... not that this helps

I'm in about the same sitation about telling my girlfriend or not...

I have never told anyone,... but you have told your granny... so why not talk to her, I mean she knows you, and probably knows your girlfriend too... she might give you some valuable input... after all, she has been living quite a bit longer than you have, so take it for granted that in life she is more experienced than you

other than that... uhm, hard decision. I personally don't believe my girl would leave me, and if your girl loves you as madly as you love her, she wouldn't leave you either.

about telling others, well you know her better than anyone else on this board I guess... don't know how she handles stuff usually if you ask her not to tell anyone... if she's very chatty and not to secretive about privacy in general, well than your lil' secret would be in jeopardy I guess... on the other hand if you'd really explain her that for you it's important that others don't know than I guess she wouldn't tell.

about the last part though - taking you for a freak - not looking at you the same way as before, now here comes the part I'm freaking about myself.

I don't know you or your personality - but I'm not the type you'de expect to wear diapers if your into stereotypical images of people, and well everyone has some of those on his mind... also I really dislike all the baby-stuff and would never want to be babied... I'm not sure if that would make it any easier or less weird to her...

but I have been thinking, that if I tell her, I would try to explain my feelings and make damn sure that she realizes that neither our day-to-day activities will change nor our sex-life would be impacted.... Ok, if she's fine with incorporating some diaper play once in a while, I wouldn't mind - but if not I'd be perfectly fine... basically the only thing I would want is to wear and wet at night.

I also think that I'd say her that if she's uncomfortable with it or even would consider leaving me, that I would for sure stop (no matter how difficult) or at least if that would solve the problem wear the diapers only if she isn't here.

Also I want to share a piece of advice I've gotten by a forum-member here, which I think is worth a lot:

"Don't make a big thing out of it when you tell her"... by making it "big" she might get "scared" or afraid before you have a chance to talk it through.

I mean, sit down one evening, make it comfy, have cup/glass of your favourite tea/wine/whiskey/coffee/choclat/... whatever... and say that you want to share something with her, nothing serious, but something personal which you rather would not have any one else knowing about... that it's about a sexual fantasy and you may feel a bit "weird about it"... and see from where it takes you...

I believe there's no recepie here for success... .it really depends on the way you tell something and on her personality and mind on how she'll take it.

Just remember you can not take back what you have said - so choose your wording carfully and make it as "easy" as possible for her to say she doesn't want it without being offended or hurt.

I don't want her to change me or such,... whilst occasionally this possibly might be nice, I believe it would also feel a bit weird especially in the beginning...

I don't want her to wear diapers too... well if she wants to try it, she can have as many as she wants out of my stash

I don't need her to involve - just to accept.

I guess with this I might have a good chance that she might say "I don't understand it, I don't really find it appealing, but hey if it makes you happy and it doesn't bother the rest of our live and intimacy, then it's ok with me.".

One thing I have decided though is that I for sure wait until all the end-year festivities liek christmas and new years eve are over... we're seeing a good number of people and for her it's an important time as she get to see her familiy again and such... it's also a bit hectic and we don't have too much days for "ourselves".

And being polite, I think that the possibility exists that she will freak out about it (even though a very small possibility) or feel hurt that I waited over two years to tell her or feel grossed and need more talk and what else I just don't want to put that possible burden on her during a time she really enjoyes,... next year when everything has settled down a bit will be a good time... also this gives me some room to ponder whether I really want / need to tell her or if I want to stop the diaper thing or chicken out for whatever reason else.

After all, no matter what, my Girl is far far far more imporant to me than any sexual fetish I may have - period.

[nappyloon]

It sounds very much like you are going to tell her anyway, so when you do i hope it goes very well for you both.

If she loves you as much as it sounds you will hopefully be "home and dry" (well, home and wet actually!) as she will just accept that it is part of you and that is what she wants=you !

Good luck and keep us posted.

[lynniehyde]

If your relationship is strong and you trust each other, what's the harm in letting her know your innermost secrets? You may be surprised at the results. Besides, by showing her honesty on your part, I think she would love you all the more. It all boils down to trust. If you don't have that, you ain't got s**t. This part of you will eventually become known to her, if it lasts much longer. If you try to hide it (lies, deceit and so forth), it may become a sore point for both of you. Better to get it out in the open and find out how much she truly loves you. That is, if the relationship is worth pursuing. From your words, I'm guessing it is. Good luck.

Cuddles

--heidilynn

[tris]

Like I always tell people, If you're here and asking about it, you've probably already made up your mind. Quit being a pussy and just tell her! It's not going to be as bad as you would have yourself imagine. . .

Read some of our other posts on this kinda stuff. . . Maybe do a search? Your first post is something we've covered EXTENSIVELY here, and the general advice on 'coming out' is basically all the same, no matter whether you're trying to tell your wife, or the girl you just met --IT'S ALL THE SAME ADVICE! JUST DO IT!

Good Luck, Bro

[Morv]

Ok, so time for Morv to drop an opinion in bullet point format.

1) If a girl I was dating ever told me that she would take her own life if I left her, the first thing I think I'd do is seriously consider leaving her. Have you ever asked her how she would cope with it if you were in a car accident and got killed? How do you feel with the possibility that some freak accident ending your life would also end hers? Having such dependence on a person that you would end your own life if your partner were not there... is not an indication of a healthy state of mind. I would take this more as an expression of attachment and less of a statement of dependence if it weren't for the fact that you said she had tried previously.

2) How is she with other fetishes? If she has none that she's interested in, you could feel out the area by just having a conversation about the strangest fetishes you each have heard of, and what your opinions are of them. Do not at this point intentionally bring up diapers. Is she socially liberal? What are her friends like? The more open she is about sexual topics of discussion, the easier this will be. Knowing what she thinks of other fetishes might give you a better idea of how she'll react. Same if she is friends with people who openly have alternative lifestyles. Scat/urine play are fairly common fetishes. Same with bondage, and S&M. Same with some roleplaying teacher/schoolgirl and similar situations. Though these are not the same as diapers, her opionion of these might help you gauge what her reaction will be.

If you've ever indulged a fetish that she has, well, then you certainly have a strong case for this. I would not suggest saying that you would stop indulging her fetish, but do remind her if she seems squeamish that you were willing to give her interests a try. If she has presented a fetish she's interested in to you and you did not indulge her, expect the same in return.

You might want to even tell her at some point in this discussion that you have an interest in a fetish interest that you're not quite ready to talk about with her, but you want to and that you're working up the courage to do so -- giving a little heads up can lessen the shock. It locks you into saying something eventually, but also still gives you breathing room. This might not work if she's the type of person that would refuse to respect your comfort level and wouldn't let you wait until you do feel comfortable. It's ok to be nervous and less than comfortable with openly discussing this.

3) This interest is a part of who you are, and that is ok. If your intent is to share who you are, not demand that she become part of it, then you deserve to have someone accept it. If she rejects you as a result of this, then she isn't someone you should truly be with. I firmly believe that any significant other that actually likes you as a person will accept this fetish as long as it places no demands on said significant other.

If your interest includes that your S.O. participate, even as a spectator, this one goes out the window, for at the moment it involves them, it changes your relationship. I think a truly accepting partner shouldn't really have any issue with observing or at least trying it, but then again, I am the type of person who would try just about anything for my partner, as long as it didn't include anything illegal and/or causing pain. Though you should be accepted by your partner despite any fetishes that you may have, you certainly should expect to be rejected if you demand that your partner participate. If you are rejected if you ask if your partner would participate, but do not demand such... well, that's kinda a no-man's land. If you do ask her to participate, be careful to not be too forceful in your request.

Well, that's all for now. If you could say more about her, I might be able to give you more pointed advice for how to approach her.

[Frink]

Get her drunk first. Drunk enough that she won't remember, and ask. If she freaks out, you'll know not to bring it up when she's sober.