My Training, Or How To Manage Enforced Incontinence

[Creepymouse]

Well, sometimes you get what you wish for. Mommy finally made me do it. After a long and very emotional talk (which actually steered away from 'I want diapers') she said some words in an order I never thought I'd hear...

"Twenty-four / seven, from now on my baby is incontinent and cannot use the toilet, no exceptions."

Well, how do I manage my newfound (and surprise) condition?

I'm pretty used to wearing diapers to work, just not on a daily basis. I currently have a couple diapers and powder in my locker in the office restroom, and will probably put more supplies in there. I'll obviously need more cloth diapers and covers, and find a economical and long-wearing disposable product to use. I'm currently chewing my way through a case of Abena Super, which I find fit the bill nicely, but they're not as good as the X-Plus (duh) At least KCK lowered their prices, I think.

I'd like everyone's input, but please avoid wannabe-bashing. I've thought about this step for a long time, and the last (real) obstacle was a sincere desire for her to make me do it. It will affect her life too, hopefully for the better, and I need her 24/7 support. I know there will be times its not fun, that it really sucks...but I'll live. I leaked badly last week at work, not once but twice, and I lived through it with no comments. I got three hours sleep, due to anxiety over this new development and a badly wet bed, I'll live.

She'll be looking through this forum, several training manuals, and stories I've collected, looking for rules to govern this new period in my life. I've already given her one expectation, if I'm doing this, I'll be shooting for diaper dependence, trained bladder and bowel incontinence. If she's changing me and I get the urge, squirt...if I just got out of the shower and haven't got diapered yet squirt, if we're getting playful in bed squirt...I will wet anywhere, anytime, no matter what. If I'm oversaturated already, too bad...if we run out of diapers, too bad...if I'm already soaked in my last (formerly) dry diaper, too bad! She smiled and said, "Okay, if you wet the floor or the bed or your pants, it will be my fault, from now on."

I love that woman.

Did I mention the 'contract' is good until Christmas Day, 2008? She said she'll probably extend it at that point, but for now, I'm happy knowing she's decided she wants me pampered...for a very long time.

[Eric D]

a year is a long time, can be.

Some questions:

1. have you talked about what it would be to "opt out" anywhen in between that year?

2. What is your real motivation in being diaperd 24/7 without being incontinent?

3. Bowel Movements... these too? Nullo Meds for the smell??

4. Type of work you do? Could the diapers prove to be a problem there?

5. Holidays, Short-Trips, Stay-overs (I once in a while after a long party / dinner stay at a friends house... or my Girls family home... or ...)

6. Did you think about the fact, that it will be most likely noticed by quite some people around you over a year? family, friends, co-workers? What are you going to explain, tell them, lie to them, ignore them?

7. Sports? I don't know if you do anything sportive... but belive me there are quite a number of sports where a diaper can be very uncomfortable. - are you willing to "step aside" for a year, bear the discomfort, or do something else?

8. Summertime swimming pools and such stuff? not sure, but I like to go swimming (do 1 to 2 kilometers in water... very healthy)... many pools have strict regulations when it comes to incontinence... eg. wearing pool-pants/diapers... these will show clearly... are you willing to go "that public" without "real need".

9. Medical problems, doctor visits, probably accidents where you might see ambulance / hospital (god forbid... but it's a possibility) - are you willing to explain or "fake incontinence" ??

10. Your Bladder will most likely "shrink" over a year when you get used to void every time you feel some slight pressure... it's not irreversible, but you will most likely need to go to the toilet quite more frequently afterwards or do some "training" again... are you willing?

11. Why does she want this? why does she fancy having you in diapers 24/7 for a whole year, even messy diapers, deal with rashes... maybe have to explain to friends and family... is she really willing to do that?

12. I feel like this could put some "strain" on any relationship... so ask yourself if you're willing to go there...

13. must it be diapers all the time ? how about a catheter for some situations (plugged type, voiding every 1/2/3 hours depning on your bladder)?

Don't get me wrong, I am not you - meaning I for one would NEVER do that willingly without a medical need... if I'd become incontinent, than it would be something I have to cope / deal with - it's no longer a "choice" afterall... but as long as I am free to wear diapers whenever I feel like it, rather than "having to" for no obvious reason I will stick to the "free" type of wearing.

At least I feel, if you want to make that experience, that you - the both of you - should agree upon the possibility of "opting out" any time and quitting the whole thing without "hard feelings". I belive she should have the right to want you to stop as much as you should have. 12 months can be a daringly long time if it turns out to go in another way than you thought it would.

I've spent five years doing something I might have opted out if there would have not been too much troubles involved with "opting" out. I learned a good deal.

[Eric D]

Other than that what I said above... remembering the time (just a couple of weeks) where I kind of depended on diapers for some bladder infection-gone-wrong...

here's what I did...

During the day I wore Tena Slip Plus M.... I went through 3 or 4 of them during the day sometimes less... I tried to void on the toilet and get to the toilet as often as I managed too... but sometimes I just didn't make it or the pressure was too painful when I was out of the place (I had serious troubles holding it..) at night time I wet often and wore Tena Slip Super or Maxi ( I found that the Super last for a night usually)

I DID NOT shit in my diapers... I did so only once for convenience, later when I was plagued with some nasty diarrhea problem (food stuff...)... when I found that holding it could be troublesome I preferred to stick with diapers just in case... but believe me I really didn't like to have a BM in my diapers, it's not comfortable, it smells (unless you take some special meds, which I didn't) and cleaning is a true PITA (especially in public toilets...).

however I don't believe that the capacity of a diaper matters anything when it comes to BMs (as long as it's solid)...

well you could resort to get an enema every two days or a small one in the morning before re-diappering and thus have not to shit during the day or at least not likely.

But I have no idea as to what extend this would cause you some long-term troubles.

I do enemas once in a while... when I feel constipated, or I know that having a BM during certain activities could be rather problematic. but that's a couple of times a year maybe 5 or 8 times... and have never had any bad side-effect... but daily? hell who knows... maybe ask a doctor.

During daytime I would anyways opt for a "less absorbent" diaper such as a Tena Slip Plus... for one it's less visible, and if it's wet you should try to change quickly as to prevent rashes and other skin-problems (not a big deal if you only occasionally wear a diaper or over night... but 24/7 you should really take care of that skin...)

when I "had" to wear diapers for the bladder problem back then I also wore a Suprima Plastic pant... just in case a tape would rip or loosen or if I overused a diaper... I gues it prevented quite a few "bad moments"... also it helps keeping the diaper nice in shape...

do shower / clean that diaper are very frequently... use skin-caring products (bebanthene)... use poweder.

that's it...

[Creepymouse]

Thanks for the great replies, Eric

a year is a long time, can be.

Yes, it is, but honestly, its something we both want.

1. We're probably going to have a heart-to-heart about the ground rules today, once she wakes up.

2. I enjoy the feeling of being in diapers, and I have wanted to depend on them for a long while.

3. Yep, unless I decide to take an enema in the morning before work.

4. I work in printing, but mostly I'm at a desk. I wear button-up shirts, usually flannels or somesuch, and black jeans. It might be a problem, but the boss's son requires intermittent self-cath, for spina bifida, so he's at least had experience with bladder issues.

5. I HATE staying at other's houses, unless it is a close family member, even then, I dislike it. Besides, I plan to keep a three-day supply or so of everything in the car, jeans, diapers, changing supplies...

6. Not worried about it, if anyone asks, I'm incontinent due to frequent leaks. Not lying, I'm 'functionally incontinent', they don't need to know its by choice.

7. I sometimes play basketball with my step-son, but he doesn't care, I walk/run with my wife/Mommy, I don't really do anything that I haven't already experienced in a diaper, and enjoyed.

8. Again, I am incontinent, so why would I worry about it? Besides, I doubt I would completely lose control of my bowels that quick, and pool diapers are only for bowel incontinence. Even then, I'd probably make sure my body was 'cleaned out' before going in the pool.

9. I (thank God) have never had a serious health issue, though I am being checked due to a Incomplete Right Bundle Branch Block in my heart, but nothing life threatening. I'm willing to say I wear diapers because I need to, its unlikely that they will require anything further than that, as long as I don't want the insurance to pay.

10. I don't mind, I doubt that I will ever go back, but if I did, I would gladly accept the retraining, its part of the process. Besides, it would be fun to work with Mommy getting me 'dry' again, whether or not it ever got to the point of being reliable.

11. She loves me. She wears diapers because she enjoys them, and knows I do too. I expressed to her early in our relationship that I wanted, someday, to be 24/7. She's been looking for an opening ever since. We agreed on 6 weeks in diapers nightly, no exceptions, to experience a bedwetter's perspective. We only had one real problem, she thought I wanted to be responsible for diapering, while she wanted to do it. I told her I wanted her to take control of it, a big part of this will be her desire to 'keep me in diapers'. That little talk was part of this new 'arrangement'.

12. I spend most of my time in Daddy mode, to take care of her needs. She wants to be Mommy more, but hasn't known quite how. If she chooses to change me when necessary, it will obviously bring her more into the Mommy role, won't it? Our relationship is quite strong, we work things out together, this is a choice to help balance our relationship.

13. Now that you mention it, I suppose a catheter wouldn't be unacceptable, but I'll have to talk to Mommy. We've talked about indwelling caths before, and it is open to discussion. I suppose a medically incontinent person would be open to such an option, so should I be. I'd rather be wet than sick with a UTI, which I have never experienced and hopefully won't.

Don't get me wrong, I am not you - meaning I for one would NEVER do that willingly without a medical need... if I'd become incontinent, than it would be something I have to cope / deal with - it's no longer a "choice" afterall... but as long as I am free to wear diapers whenever I feel like it, rather than "having to" for no obvious reason I will stick to the "free" type of wearing.

I can't blame you there. Its like...breastfeeding, or vegetarianism, or fasting...you really have to want it and need it, and even then you may find you can't handle it. I believe I need this and can love it.

As for opting out, again, we'll talk about it today. The problem is, it would be easy to say 'I don't want this anymore' after one bad leak in public. But really, I'd be giving up on something that may be wonderful for me overall. If she decides she doesn't feel good about it, then it will be open to discussion, of course, our best interests are always of concern. But it has to be hard enough for me to change my mind, that I'll think twice before I do. For instance, knowing that she might take away all diaper priviledges until the end of the contract if I opt out, might make me think again.

I'll let everyone know how the talk goes.

[Eric D]

Thank you for answering all the questions....

well I can at least see you've spent indeed a lot of thought about the whole thing... I wish you and your love a lot of fun, a good time and luck - with this, but also with the rest

And if it would turn out after a while that it is not what you want, hopefully you will both be "mature" enough to talk it through and find a way that will satisfy the both of you.

Maybe you could start writing a story / public diary / blog or whatever... would sure make an interesting read ...

[Codymoogle]

All I can say is good luck in whatever you want to do, and don't use powder liberally...using too much too frequently will clog up the pores of your skin, the skin will die and peel off, then your member will be left raw and VERY painful. Same goes for women also, powder will clog pores. It actually doesn't help with rashes. The only real purpose of baby powder is the nice smell.

Take care,

~ moogle

[dmavn]

Just a few things to make things easier.

1. nullo. Generally you can order this at any drugstore. They are chlorophyl pills, are an internal deodorant and will kill almost all smell, tho WILL turn anything coming out the other side green.

2. Get some good onesies. You need something that fits snug enough from neck to crotch and around the legs to help suport the diaper and keep it from saging. I have been incontinent for about 10 years, and these have been a godsend. Especially since I work in shipping and am on my feet 8 hours a day on concrete. Keep the diaper snug and from saging, and you tend not to have any problems with tapes coming apart. I wear aben x-pluses 24/7 and have never had the problem with tapes coming apart that others seem to have, perhaps this is why. I have tried a few other brands, but the ones from easyaccessclothing.com are the ones I have stuck with. As far as I know they are not AB/DL aware, but cater to people with real problems, so watch what you say to them If you need to.

3. I generaly Take both a fish oil, and flaxseed oil pil at night before bed time. Besides being essential fatty acids that your body needs anyways, after a few days or so It will help you have a bm first thing in the morning.

4. Early on in my incontinence I tried the enema thing every day. I don't know if reduced water intake was a problem, but my body wanted to start absorbing some of the water that was coming in that end, which in turn brought the smell as well. I started getting coments, and talked to by my boss, so in turn i stopped the enemas and the smell went away.

5. Always keep baby wipes with you. Over the years The area around my sphincter has become sensitive, acid reflux might not have helped as well, but wiping with regular paper generaly causes surface bleeding, and that is something you definatly dont want in that area. I never have this problem with babywipes, as well, they help clean things up if things get a little nasty.

6. Try to stay away from caffine and sodas, they are not really that good for your body, and working as a dieuretic, makes you drink more in turn to keep your bodies water lvls up, and thus causing more output. Now days all I drink are gatoraid and water. And my diapering consists of 3 abena x-pus mediums. 1 in the morning when i get up, 1 around noon, and another when I get home, and 1 aben x-plus large with thier soaker pad at night when i go to bed. I generally never have any leaks. Your mileage may vary especially since I try with all my being NOT to have a bm in them.

[Creepymouse]

Thanks guys!

Replying to dmavin:

1: I thought of doing this anyway, my wife enjoys cleaning me up, but it would be kinder to prevent some of the nastiness. She told me 'I love changing your poopy diapers,' to which I replied, 'You're fuller than that one you just changed!' and we both laughed.

2. I have a few, and I want more, my mom and I were running a small AB/DL store for a while, I feel bad about how things went, but we still have lots of materials and patterns. When I don't wear a onesie because they're too warm under a flannel shirt, I wear tight boxer-briefs, the kind that fits snug against your body. I've rarely had a tape pop completely, and even so, it would prevent some of the more embarassing 'catastrophic diaper failure' scenarios, holding everything in until I could exit stage right.

3. Perhaps as I get a little older, I may need tips like this. Right now, I have to take loperamide to keep myself from going too often! Three times daily is probably healthy, but not comfortable even if you are using the potty. The immodium keeps it firmer and daily-regular, and I've not had a problem with cleanup or smell.

4. Hmm, I've heard of water absorption, but usually using an isotonic solution prevents that. The body naturally absorbs water from the bowel throughout its length, so why you'd smell worse when you were 'cleaned out' than when you weren't...odd. Thanks for the tip, either way.

5. Agreed. Actually, Mommy is generally around in the mornings or at lunchtime if I have a mess to deal with, and she prefers using a damp washcloth. I will certainly start carrying a full pack of wipes along with the powder and lotion I already carry, as soon as I buy some. Until then, I carry a couple dry cloths in the changing bag.

6. Well, being a DL as well as now being 'functionally incontinent' I don't mind wetting profusely, as long as I can change. The two leaks I had at work were stupid, I would have wet my pants if I hadn't been diapered. The boss has a habit of leaving me alone in the office for hours at a time, during which I'm supposed to take calls, wait on customers, and do my own work as well. Its hard to sneak in the back even to take a whizz, let alone a 5 minute diaper change. But the diapers do make it easier, as they hold more than my bladder does! I use Abena Plus Large right now, they fit my wife and I, and they're a good medium between store brands and the 'big guns.' I generally will be using two for my work day (like yours, morning and afternoon) with a third when I've got an evening meeting to attend. Cloth diapers at night for me!

CJ:

Wow, sounds like you're allergic to something in that powder! I usually avoid using much, just a light dusting to keep the plastic from chafing too badly. I also use a cornstarch powder, if that helps. What might have happened in your case, may have been a yeast of some sort feeding on the powder, if you use cornstarch instead of talc. I also have heard talcum can act a bit like asbestos and get stuck in the lungs.

I know my choice is not well looked upon by those who have a medical excuse for their incontinence. In some ways, I feel bad for choosing to relinquish control when they have no choice at all, but since I can't trade places, I have to fulfill my needs however I can. I sincerely hope I don't offend too many by calling this incontinence, but that's part of the journey for me, acknowledging that I don't, won't, and can't void in the appropriate place anymore. I am incontinent, but I have an emotional reason, rather than a medical one. Thank you all for honoring my request for constructive answers. I may end up becoming one of the people who advises against trying to become incontinent, but I don't see it happening soon.

[Codymoogle]

CJ:

Wow, sounds like you're allergic to something in that powder! I usually avoid using much, just a light dusting to keep the plastic from chafing too badly. I also use a cornstarch powder, if that helps. What might have happened in your case, may have been a yeast of some sort feeding on the powder, if you use cornstarch instead of talc. I also have heard talcum can act a bit like asbestos and get stuck in the lungs.

This never happened to me, I read it on a website ( http://wwwe.littleab.com )...also, since I don't have a "member" I can't tell you exactly how it works to clog up the pores, I'm just going by what I read.

- Moogle

[diaperpt]

Ummm...you started this back in December...its now March...any updates?

I'd love to hear how things have developed.

[bernie]

Hi creepymouse,

After 1 Year, do you have some success ?

[Guest dl_aslee]

Looks like he hasn't been around in awhile, his profile says last time he was seen was Nov 12th, 2008, so not to long ago, but still about a month.

[Creepymouse]

I've just been in a non-diaper mood lately. About four or five months in, we got hit by a financial emergency we didn't expect. $500 a month cut out of the budget just like that. Really put a crimp in the diaper supply, so we agreed that we would have to try again someday, but its just a bad time now. I'd go cloth, but we have an upstairs apartment and no in-house laundry, its a big pain.

Of course, I would have been glad if I had lost the choice by that time, and required the diapers, we would have found a way to afford them, but there were more important things in our lives.

[tris]

I just wanna say that I feel ya, 'mouse. . . :\

[wolf pup]

I would like to be incont as well. I want to wear, nay, need to wear 24/7. The thing is unless I become incon I can not afford all the diapers I would need to get this started.

I wish I knew what to say to my doc to get a script for diapers!

[dl_ashlee]

Nice j

I would like to be incont as well. I want to wear, nay, need to wear 24/7. The thing is unless I become incon I can not afford all the diapers I would need to get this started.

I wish I knew what to say to my doc to get a script for diapers!

Nice job bringing a Necro Thread back to life, lol. Check the dates on the threads, no use bringing back one from 4 years ago, lol.