unpottytraining Incontinence desires. I'd like to start unpotty training

[SammiHammi]

I'm 19 and still living with my mom I have cloth reusable diapers and plastic pants as well as regular disposable diapers I mainly use my cloth ones considering the cost of regular diapers. Though it's annoying not having a washer and dryer so I wash them by hand, but I want to be unpotty trained I don't know how I should go about it. I wouldn't mind if anyone also had tips for cloth diaper wearing.

[stevewet]

My advice is wait till you have a place of your own.

[munkey]

Agreed wait until you have your own place.

[babizzy]

I’m in a similar situation and I only use disposable diapers, I wouldn’t want to leave my diapers in the wash for my roommate to find. Maybe switch to disposable for now until you don’t need to worry. Hope stuff works out for you and you don’t have to deal with that for long, would you tell your mom you are wetting the bed? Maybe she’ll support you.

[Goerge]

I wouldn't wear cloth if I had no washer/dryer. Hand washing them will not be hygienic enough.

[Craisler]

If your mother does not know of, support, or at least tolerate your activities, I’d have to agree with the above comments and recommend that you postpone your diaper wearing activities until you have a place of your own where you will have the privacy needed.  I can tell you from personal experience that parents will find out no matter how careful or clever you think you are.

[spark]

We don't know what mom knows, or thinks, about her son wearing diapers.   That is a significant factor to consider if your planning to unpotty train.

I don't know how somebody can unpotty train exclusively using cloth diapers.  Cloth diapers are more economical in the long term, but they are a PITA.  I wear cloth diapers at night, which saves me one of my disposable  diapers, which is about $4.  However, my system is to put the diaper for a speed cycle- with no detergent, just to make sure they are rinsed before going in my pail.  I have about 4 nights worth of diapers, so at least once a week I put them through a deep wash in my machine.  My dryer sucks, so it takes a few cycles to dry the boosters.   I find that cloth diapers are a lot less discreet, which is not a big deal when I'm in bed, but is a big deal when I'm out of the house.

The key thing with unpotty training is commitment.    AFAIK, potty training is all about conditioning a child to put pee-pee and poo-poo in the potty.  Diaper/unpotty training is the opposite, and it takes a lot of time commitment to undo the hard-wired expectation to pee and poop in the toilet.  I've been doing it for years, and only recently have I gotten to a point where peeing is outside my conscious control.  The more you switch between diapers and using the potty, the longer it takes, and AFAIK, pooping in your diapers will make the process go much quicker.   That's hard to do when your living situation doesn't allow that level of commitment.

[Enthusi]

Going full 24/7 to the point of tossing out your underwear and investing in cases of diapers and planning around vacations takes an immense amount of commitment.  I suppose it’s theoretically possible to do it in a way that  nobody in your household ever notices. But geez. I couldn’t imagine the practicality of not treating my diapers like underwear, when that’s what they are.  
 

In my experience the economics of cloth diapers don’t work out unless you go big on them and make them your full time thing, or hardly wear them.   When you factor in the investment cost, the storage cost, laundry cost, and also the cost of the diapers, and plastic pants, you need to wear a lot of times for everything to pay for itself.   
 

Also remember that odor protection isn’t as robust with cloth diapers. And by “isn’t as robust” I mean virtually non existent.  

That said, that’s just my experience.  If there’s a cloth-diaper enthusiast out there who begs to differ, please do! Trust me, I wish I could get cloth diapers to work out. 

Instead, OP, have a  different suggestion:  Enjoy wearing diapers as often as you can to the point where it doesn’t cause issues for you.   It’s okay if you can’t commit to this lifestyle for decades.  If you can, that’s amazing! If there’s a point where you diapers need to take a backseat, that’s life.  Either way, good luck! Let us know how it goes. You got this. ❤️

[foreverdl]

5 hours ago, spark said:

We don't know what mom knows, or thinks, about her son wearing diapers.   That is a significant factor to consider if your planning to unpotty train.

I don't know how somebody can unpotty train exclusively using cloth diapers.  Cloth diapers are more economical in the long term, but they are a PITA.  I wear cloth diapers at night, which saves me one of my disposable  diapers, which is about $4.  However, my system is to put the diaper for a speed cycle- with no detergent, just to make sure they are rinsed before going in my pail.  I have about 4 nights worth of diapers, so at least once a week I put them through a deep wash in my machine.  My dryer sucks, so it takes a few cycles to dry the boosters.   I find that cloth diapers are a lot less discreet, which is not a big deal when I'm in bed, but is a big deal when I'm out of the house.

The key thing with unpotty training is commitment.    AFAIK, potty training is all about conditioning a child to put pee-pee and poo-poo in the potty.  Diaper/unpotty training is the opposite, and it takes a lot of time commitment to undo the hard-wired expectation to pee and poop in the toilet.  I've been doing it for years, and only recently have I gotten to a point where peeing is outside my conscious control.  The more you switch between diapers and using the potty, the longer it takes, and AFAIK, pooping in your diapers will make the process go much quicker.   That's hard to do when your living situation doesn't allow that level of commitment.

I have a question , I do use a mix of cloth and disposable diapers I wear 24/7, But to save on my wash and smelly pee only diapers, I rinse my cloth layer out that I wear over several disposable cheap second hand mostly diapers.  I have a 5 gallon bucket I soak the cloth layer in and wash about twice a week. My question is do you spin  out several cloth diapers out each morning ? and How many cloth diapers do you need to make it through the night ? Do you soak the diapers in water till you wash them? I would love to save money but I need to keep the smells down in respect for my wife. 

[Craisler]

I don’t soak used diapers, wet diapers I just toss in the diaper pail.   Messy diapers, I rinse off with an hand sprayer before tossing them in a diaper pail.  When the pail is full (about every 3-4 days), I run the load through a cold water wash cycle with detergent.  Next, I run the load through a full hot water wash cycle with a prewash cycle using Dreft for the wash cycle and Tide detergent with borax for the prewash cycle.  I’ve found this procedure effective getting the diapers completely clean and eliminating all stains.

[spark]

37 minutes ago, foreverdl said:

I have a question , I do use a mix of cloth and disposable diapers I wear 24/7, But to save on my wash and smelly pee only diapers, I rinse my cloth layer out that I wear over several disposable cheap second hand mostly diapers.  I have a 5 gallon bucket I soak the cloth layer in and wash about twice a week. My question is do you spin  out several cloth diapers out each morning ? and How many cloth diapers do you need to make it through the night ? Do you soak the diapers in water till you wash them? I would love to save money but I need to keep the smells down in respect for my wife. 

I don't like soaking them in a bucket because the pee is still there.  I use the speed cycle, which is a 15 minute rinse in my washing machine.  It does a pretty good job because I don't notice then unless I bring them up to my nose.

[foreverdl]

1 hour ago, spark said:

I don't like soaking them in a bucket because the pee is still there.  I use the speed cycle, which is a 15 minute rinse in my washing machine.  It does a pretty good job because I don't notice then unless I bring them up to my nose.

I do put a small bit of bleach and soap in the water that I soak them in, so it will not cause any problems . But it takes forever for my thick cloth diapers to dry in the dryer, so I get lazy and use disposable . In the summertime I can dry the thick diapers outside . But we have a gas dryer and natural gas where I live is really expensive , so here it's cheaper to use disposable , I think 🤔 , I was just wandering if you keep your diapers in water? till you wash? or let them dry out? I am always trying to look for ways to make it cheeper, safer etc..

[Goerge]

In my 37 years wearing adult nappies, I have never worn cloth nappies. They don't feel appealing to me.

[foreverdl]

2 minutes ago, Goerge said:

In my 37 years wearing adult nappies, I have never worn cloth nappies. They don't feel appealing to me.

The reason I use cloth as a layer over the disposable diaper is my skin has begun in the past year to have rashes, I found if I have a cloth layer it helps it. But I was just thinking 🤔 cost as an issue for washing and drying the thick layers of diapers?, see some nights I will flood 3 layers of disposable diapers.