Me and the diapers

[Mary Moon]

When i was about 12 years old and in middle school, i had several peeing incidents happen to me due to my incontinence, one even happened in the gym during gym class which was very humiliating for me, so to avoid further embarrassment my mother she decided to make me wear diapers/underpants all day also because she was a little tired of being called from school to bring changes of clothes. With the soul of a teenager i perceived all this as a punishment, and obviously i felt quite mortified and humiliated, i remember that i used baggy trousers and long sweatshirts that covered my bottom to hide the diaper to prevent my classmates from finding out, knowing how humiliated i would have felt for their possible teasing. However, as the days went by i got used to it and wearing diapers gave me some comfort, sometimes it happened that i wet myself because i discovered that i somehow liked the sensation of heat in the diaper. i remember that sometimes she would come home wet and I would go to mom to console me and she would help me change into a clean diaper. I had discovered that that type of attention made me feel good, even though I knew that at 12 i was no longer old enough, but in those moments i felt like a child and pampered. It was probably there that the regression thing sparked in me, now that I'm 20 years old obviously that thing is no longer possible, at 11/12 years old it's still acceptable, but not at 20.
The only hope of being able to experience these things as well as in my fantasy now, would be to have a partner who supports you, it's not an easy thing to confess, it's already hard to confess that you suffer from urinary incontinence, however I don't lose hope

Now i wear diapers at night to avoid nocturnal wetting, i wouldn't need them because my bed wetting is very rare, but it makes me feel safe. Or when so far in advance that i won't have easy access to the bathroom and as a result i wear a pullup which in an emergency saves me from the humiliation of an accident.
However, to talk about my regression fetish, it's not that i want to go back to being a child completely, i'm really proud of my mind and my intelligence which has always allowed me to get high grades at school first and now at university, I would be terrified of lose it. My fetish consists of remaining myself but at the same time feeling pampered and cared for for a while, it's something that recharges me and makes me feel good, I don't know if I can explain myself

[emily]

Hi, I understand this completely. I am primarily a DL but I do 'play' little sometimes. However, I have no desire to lose my intelligence so I play as a bigger kid / young teenager who has not been potty trained. This way I can hold a conversation, go out and about, but still need diapers and to be changed. I do like a bottle and dummy though. I like the cared for feeling too.

[Mary Moon]

7 minutes ago, emily said:

Hi, I understand this completely. I am primarily a DL but I do 'play' little sometimes. However, I have no desire to lose my intelligence so I play as a bigger kid / young teenager who has not been potty trained. This way I can hold a conversation, go out and about, but still need diapers and to be changed. I do like a bottle and dummy though. I like the cared for feeling too.

Yes, that's how it is, i really like having moments in which i am cuddled and cared for, but i also like to remain myself, it's a partial regression more of sensations than mental.
However, all things considered, this desire to be cared for is not an erotic thing for me. Let's say that at 20, having a diaper changed is not considered socially acceptable unless a partner does it in private. In the future, i would like to have such an intimate relationship with a person who can understand this secret side of mine.

I'll tell you about an episode that always happened to me around that age in middle school: it happened that, due to a snowfall, while I was returning from school, the bus skidded on a slope on the mountain road and landed against a tree, so we were stuck there, waiting for the snowplow to arrive so we could continue. Due to my incontinence problem my situation was very difficult, because i was forced to hold my pee for longer than i usually manage (if i exceed two hours i am at serious risk of accident). Basically only thanks to the strength of my will i managed to hold it for about 3 hours, my bladder was on fire and i had tears in my eyes, but i absolutely wanted to avoid the humiliating accident in a bus full of kids my age. With great effort i managed to get to my stop and got off with my best friend to whom I had confessed my situation, so much so that she had offered to go to her house to pee which was closer than mine, only after a few steps, the pain in my bladder was too strong and i gave in and soaked my pants in front of her.
I burst into tears, humiliated and mortified because my best friend had witnessed my accident. But instead of laughing, she hugged me and took me to her house where she helped me get cleaned up and lent me some of her underwear and trousers to change into. I remember us sitting there on her bed where i confessed to her about my incontinence problems and she cuddled me and comforted me by saying that she wouldn't tell anyone. And i admit that in that moment i felt good with me leaning on her shoulder and her caressing my head and reassuring me.

[Little Sherri]

6 hours ago, Mary Moon said:

My fetish consists of remaining myself but at the same time feeling pampered and cared for for a while, it's something that recharges me and makes me feel good, I don't know if I can explain myself

A lot of us understand what you are saying here, @Mary Moon. We have similar feelings and experiences. I grew up wearing diapers to bed well past the "normal" age, and I wrestled with feelings of embarrassment and humiliation, intermingled with the knowledge that part of me actually liked wearing diapers, but even then, when I was less than 10, I knew that I couldn't tell anybody that, so I also felt shame. Part of me wanted to grow up and make my parents proud and put diapers in the past with other childish things, but when I was in them, I felt such comfort and joy, although it was always tinted with anxiety and embarrassment. So here I am now, 30+ years later, still working through those feelings, as you are. There are a lot of great people here who will understand where you are coming from. 

[Mary Moon]

13 hours ago, Little Sherri said:

A lot of us understand what you are saying here, @Mary Moon. We have similar feelings and experiences. I grew up wearing diapers to bed well past the "normal" age, and I wrestled with feelings of embarrassment and humiliation, intermingled with the knowledge that part of me actually liked wearing diapers, but even then, when I was less than 10, I knew that I couldn't tell anybody that, so I also felt shame. Part of me wanted to grow up and make my parents proud and put diapers in the past with other childish things, but when I was in them, I felt such comfort and joy, although it was always tinted with anxiety and embarrassment. So here I am now, 30+ years later, still working through those feelings, as you are. There are a lot of great people here who will understand where you are coming from. 

Yes, i hope that in the future i can find a partner to whom I can reveal this part of me and who will understand it without running away

[Snugglebear_69]

There are definitely partners out there who aren't just tolerant or even accepting but who are actually excited about it, my Wife and Daddy are two such folks 💗💗

[Mary Moon]

It's not easy, i'm already very embarrassed at the idea of confessing my urinary problems. When i went to school, having to often ask to go to the bathroom, considering my shyness and the fact that I'm quite introverted, caused me great embarrassment 😅

So there are people who would get excited for a girl like me who often has the urge to pee, but i would like someone who love me and not only considers me a fetish object

[Snugglebear_69]

Definitely out there. My partners don't fetishize me. They just love me for all the different parts of who I am.

[Mary Moon]

I also hope to find a person who loves me for who i am. It would be nice to be able to share and open up completely ❤️

[bj & the bear]

I'm sure you'll find that special someone who can accept you for who you are.  Many hugs