DIAPER NET

[willnotwill]

This is the city, Los Angeles, California.   It’s a good city and people come here to visit, some stay to live.   Sometimes they can’t contain themselves.   When that happens, it’s my job.   I live here.   I carry a diaper.
DUM DE DUM DUM
DUM DE DUM DUM DUM
DIAPERNET
It was Thursday. It was cool in Los Angeles. We were working the day watch out of Urinary Incontinence. The captain is Hugh Load, my partner is Bill Flannel, and my name is Sunday.

I was sitting at the table in the squad room.   I could see Bill was fretting over something.   “Out with it,” I said.   “Is there something you wanted to ask me?”

“Well, I didn’t want to bother you,” he started.

“Well, don’t then,” I responded, knowing that this wouldn’t stop what was to come next. 

“It’s just that Eileen hasn’t seen you in forever.   How about you come over for dinner tonight?”

“I really can’t impose on you,” I said.

“It’s no problem.  Eileen’s making roast beef.   There will be plenty.   You could stay the night if you want.   Eileen just sewed up a new batch of prefold diapers you could wear.   They’re brand new.   Never been worn.   I can even have her throw them in the dryer for a few minutes.   They’ll be nice and warm when you put them on.”

“Now, Bill.    You know I’m a disposable man.”

“You really should try it, Joe.   Better for your skin.  Better for the environment.  You can’t beat the feeling of a nice warm diaper straight ouf of the dryer.”

“Well, maybe another time.”

“Like I said, you don’t know what you’re missing.”

 

 

[Eagle0769]

Interesting so far.

[Babypants]

Good start.  Wish we had more stories around here slanted to the humorous side, but for some reason a sense of humor is rarely on display in the comments, or the stories.  

[willnotwill]

 Just then, Captain Load came into the room.   “Boys, I got a new one for you.  Female, 22.  Always had a touch of stress incontinence.    Word is on the street she’s been having more severe accidents.    Check it out.

Bill pulled her record.   It was fairly clean.  There were a couple of accidents in elementary school, but it didn’t amount to anything.   There was an address on file.   We signed out a car and drove over to 1516 Pin Oak Lane.   I rang the bell.  An older woman appeared at the door.

“Ma’am, my name is Sergeant Sunday, this is Officer Flannel.  We are from the LA Continency Department.”

“The diaper police?” she said with surprise.   It was a common nickname for us.   Not the worst that had been thrown our way.

“Yes, ma’am.   We want to speak with  Amy Green.   Is she here?”

“Amy?   Why no.   She doesn’t live here anymore.   I’m her mother.  What is all this about?”

“We’re investigating some issues she was having. Are you aware of any continence issues she has?”

“Well, she did have a bedwetting problem until she was eight or nine or so.”

“And how did you deal with that?”

“I took her to our family doctor, Dr. Sears.   He decided that she’d eventually grow out of it, and she did.”

“And how did you deal with it until she did.”

“Well, we kept her in diapers until she was about four. Then we tried pull-ups and Goodnites.”

“And daytime problems?”  I asked.

“No, not really. Oh, occasionally her brothers would tickle her mercilessly, causing her to leak a little. But that never amounted to anything—just a little embarrassment.”

“And at school?”

“I guess you checked her record.   Much of the same.”

I surmised we had gotten as much information as we could out of her, except one thing: “Would you have her current address?”

“Yes, of course.”   She wrote it down on the back of one of my cards, and I thanked her and left.    Walking down the sidewalk toward the car, I flooded my diaper.    I suspect Bill was already soggy.

“What do you think, Joe?”  he asked.

“I think that either someone is hiding something, or her problems have progressed since she lived at home.”

“Are we going to see her now?”

“Not just yet. I want to talk to that doctor, Dr. Sears, first, and I suspect we both need a change.”
 

[willnotwill]

Prior to our change, I phoned Dr. Sears.   He agreed to meet with us in thirty minutes.   We changed, and Bill packed a wet cloth diaper in a plastic bag.   “You really should try cloth, Joe,”  Bill said.

“I tried it, but it’s a lot more convenient to toss a diaper when we’re out than toting wet ones home to be washed.”

“Well, suit yourself.”

“I am, partner.”

We arrived at Dr. Sears’s practice, and we ushered us into his private office.

“Amy Green?” the Doctor asked. “Why, yes. I’ve been taking care of her for years, and I still am. Her whole family comes to me.”

“What can you tell us about her history,” I asked.

“Well, you know she was late to get over bedwetting.”

“Yes, her mother said she outgrew it.”

“Well, not quite. You do know that bedwetting is sometimes caused by excessive stool holding?”

“Yes, doctor, we do,” Bill interjected.

“That was the root of Amy’s problem.”

“So, you put her on the O’Regan protocol?”

“Yes, she took it pretty hard.  She already was pretty distraught about still being in diapers at that age.   When you add nightly enemas, well, you’d have to say she was resistant.”

“But she finally acquiesced?” I asked. 

“Yes. I was finally able to convince her that the immediate unpleasantness would solve her problem and allow her to live a normal, diaperless life.”

“Now, we also know she had a few stress incontinence issues.   Leaks when laughing, sneezing?”

The doctor took a long pause.  “Yes, I’m aware of that.  And it has become more of a problem with her.   She’s been coping with heavier pads in her underwear.”

“And is that sufficient?” I asked.

“I’m not sure, but I can’t get her to consider even absorbent underwear.   She’s got a lot of issues with anything even remotely like a diaper.”

I think we had sufficient background.  I thanked the doctor for his time.  “What now, Joe?” Bill asked.

“I think it’s time we talked to Miss Green.”