Megan's Strange New Life Chapter3: (4-4-24)

[Ishigreensa]

Megan's Strange New Life

 

Chapter 1:  Moving to a New Pod

              “Megan!  We need to go!” I heard my dad calling at me as I quickly scanned around my empty bedroom, with the missing bed that used to rest against the window, my purple and pink dresser that was at the foot of my bed, and the memories of my friends sprawled out on the floor with me, coloring, chatting, or doing homework.  This room had been mine for the last ten years of my life, and now, I was leaving it.  A tear fell down my cheek as I bade one last farewell to the shut door.

              “What’s taking so long?” My dad looked over an oversized box that blocked most of his body from my view, and I was lucky to see his blue eyes and wild thick curly hair poking up over it.  “Honey, did you forget something or are you missing something?” he sounded a little concerned for me.

              “No.  I got it all,” I sighed.  My bed and dresser, things I’d had since I was like four, were given away to poor neighbors.  I honestly had been begging dad to get rid of that dresser for ages now, with its Snow Queen theme in purple and pink.  But now it wasn’t there, and I was leaving my baby room behind, I couldn’t help it.  The tear lingered on my cheek.

              “Well, do me a favor and open the door, honey.  This box is killing my back!”

              I nodded, pulled my pink pullover shirt with Stitch on it down, and jumped over to the door, not happily, but just to not delay the time it took.  I didn’t want my dad to hurt himself.  I breathed heavily as he passed, looking down at my faded blue jeans and where my favorite shirt was already trying to pull itself up again to expose a small part of my stomach.  It was probably time to admit that the shirt was getting too small for me.

              “I know, kiddo,” he smiled with his mouth, but his eyes were misty like mine, and I think he was nearly as sad as I was to leave.  Sometimes, you just had to go where life took you though!  That’s what he’d always say, especially in a time like this.  “You know, baby….”

              I nodded as he told me the familiar phrase.  I knew it was coming.

              “Cheer up, sweetheart!  You’ll have twice the number of friends you’d had before because you still have friends, that with today’s tech, you can even keep in touch, and now, you’ll make new ones, too!”

              I shook my head.  “But I can’t go to Cindy’s slumber parties anymore or hang out with Sharon at the mall.”

              “You didn’t…,” he started to look at me like I might have pulled the wool over his eyes and just now figured it out.

              “No, dad.  What I mean, was now I’d never get to hang at the mall with the other teens with my friends.  You always take things wrong.  Sheesh!”  But I smiled up at him.

              He just shook his head, labored to get the box to the van and in the back, and then I was in, and we were pulling out of the drive.

              Another tear slid down my cheek as I saw the driveway appear from under us, to the front, as we backed out of the drive.  A heavy sigh tore at my heart.  I remembered, three years ago, my dad had gotten a truck, and my mom, living at the time, glared her green eyes into his icy blue ones, and she asked him: “What do you think we can do with that piece of junk?”

              “Well, we can haul big things that we need, like when we buy a tree, and …,” but mom had her hands on her hips, and he knew that his truck wouldn’t last.  I missed my mom’s green eyes and sunshine caramel light hair.  I miss her perfume, and I miss her sing-song voice when she called my name.

              I was tranced out for a bit.

              “Megan!” my dad’s voice cut through my daydream so sharply I knew he had been calling my name a few times.

              “Sorry dad.  I was just thinking.”

              “Thinking?” 

              We were on the road, now, driving through the city towards the big one that would take us far away.  The sigh in my throat was nothing to the sigh in my heart.

              “Yeah, about mom and about when we got this van.”

              “You remember that?  That was like three years ago!” he said back to me sounding a little surprised and a little sad at the same time.  He probably picked up on that it was our last memory of doing something outside of the hospital with my mom.

              I nodded, but he probably couldn’t see me.  I didn’t feel like verbalizing though.  I was starting to remember my mom’s face again, and I didn’t want what little I could still recall to vanish so quickly.

              Dad became kind of quiet, too.  I really miss mom.  I miss my own little bedroom in that little house we had forever and even if the room was infantile, it was mine and it had the memories of my mom in there, when she’d come and check on me at night, when I got scared and she hugged me, and even when I used to wet the bed, and she hugged me and then made it all go away and put me back to sleep.  I sighed.

              “I was happy in that house,” I told my dad.  “I loved my room.”

              “You hated your room,” he reminded me, but I could hear the chuckle in his voice.  He knew that he was just egging me on to tell him what I missed.

              “No.  I said it was juvenile and babyish, not that I completely hated it,” I huffed.  “I liked that out the window was a tree and then the front road so I could see when my friends were coming to the house….”

              “Oh?” he had a laugh in his sound as he asked.  “You’re sure you didn’t miss the princess dresser?”

              I frowned.  It was the most babyish thing in my room, but then, I remember how mommy and I picked it out together when I was like six years old, they decided that it was time that I had my own bed in my bedroom, and not a toddler thing that was right in their room.

              “I… I do miss the dresser,” I sighed in sadness.  “I miss mommy.”

              “I know,” he said his voice being a little less mocking now as we turned to the subject of why I really missed the baby things in that room.  “But now, it’s time to grow up,” he told me.  “I don’t mean about mom.  You will miss her sometimes, and sometimes it will be very strong, but that’s okay.”

              “So, what about growing up?” I asked.

              “Well, even though you will sorely miss mommy sometimes, what you have to grow up about, is to remember that the dresser and the baby toys you had, are not her.  They were kind of special to you because she bought them, but honestly, the most precious thing you should carry with you about her, should be in your heart.”

              I nodded.  Of course, I knew he was right, but that still didn’t make it any easier to throw away the baby blocks I had because there was no room to bring unnecessary things with us in the car.  My bed and dresser were both donated to a kid that was poor and needed it more.  I hope that kid takes care of that stuff.

              “So, you are going into the fifth grade…,” dad tried to change the topic a bit.  “You’ll be the biggest kid at your school next year.”

              I giggled. “There are, other fifth graders, daddy.”

              “There are?” he asked as though to be surprised by the fact. 

              “You know there are,” I said half amused that he thought I wouldn’t catch on to his paternalizing behavior.  Over the years, I had learned when he was playing like I knew something more than he did, and when he really was shocked that I knew something, though sometimes, he could still trick me.  But me?  The only fifth grader? He had to know I’d catch that one!  I nearly laughed at myself being bothered that he played like that.  Of course he did.  It was just one of the silly things he did when he wanted to take my mind in a different direction, and it worked.  I forgot, kind of, how much I missed mommy.

              “So, daddy?” I leaned towards the front seat, and got closer.  “So…, you got a new job, right?”

              “Yes, sweetheart.  It pays a little more than the last place, and because I’m going to rent the company trailers, rent will be reduced, too, so we’ll have more money to spend on you.”

              I smiled.  “Okay.  But do you know anything about where we are living?”

              “I do, sweetheart.  There will be plenty of space to play, and it will be safer from dangerous people because people don’t typically like to live in a place like that.”

              “What’s wrong with where we’re living that even crime animals don’t want to live there?” I asked wide eyed. 

              “Well, it’s a small town, so it’s easier to get caught if a crime animal takes something,” daddy said.  “And there are less targets to take from because of the smaller number of people.”

              “Oh,” I looked down.  I started to think about a couple of my favorite old, old, shows from when daddy was little a zillion years ago, and wondered if the town would have even twenty people in it.  Anne of Green Gables made it feel like there weren’t many more than twenty.  Little House on the Prairie also didn’t seem to have that many.  Never heard of those shows, right?  Well, my mom used to like them, so I watched them, and then I liked them, but I know they are like from a zillion years ago.  It’s like I said.

              “Oh?” he asked as he heard my disappointment.  “What’s wrong?  You’ll have a lot of space to play and run around!”

              “Well, if there are less than fifty people in town, how will they have a mall?”

              “They don’t, sweetheart,” he frowned at me through the mirror.  “But there are a few more people than fifty.”

              “So, there goes hanging out at the mall at all as a teenager.”

              He chuckled.  “Baby, you have like five or six years before you need to worry about that.  There’s no way I’d let you go to the mall by yourself before you’re sixteen.  You do know that, right?”

              I frowned.  “I guess.”

              I scooted up to sit up.  I loved talking to my dad, but being in the same position too long was uncomfortable, so I sat up a little more, and then I pulled my feet up on the bench style seat and then leaning my back against the side of the van, the very side he was driving from, I got comfortable again.

              “So, if it’s a small town, does it have a small lake or maybe a mountain to climb?” I asked.

              “It might,” he said as though he wasn’t sure himself.  “But it will also have fresh air and you might even see some wildlife.  You never know.  It won’t be like San Diego.”

              “San Diego isn’t that bad,” I crossed my arms.  “I like it there.”

              He sighed and shook his head.  “Well, honestly, I don’t.”

              I frowned wondering why he wouldn’t like it!  There were plenty of things to do there, and it was easy to get around town even if your car wasn’t working.  There were a lot nice shops and restaurants, and it seemed there were books and computers things everywhere!  He liked computers. 

              “We’re going to be on the road for a while,” daddy told me.  “Why don’t you dig your crayons out or a book and occupy yourself for a while?”

              I nodded.

 

              I woke up rubbing my eyes.  I didn’t remember when the smooth rhythm of the car, the soft music, and the quietness of reading had put me to sleep, but now, we were on the road somewhere way out in the desert-like steppes of Southern California.  There were a few trees and bushes here and there, and way up ahead, I could see the hills and mountains looming up before us.  It was still rather peaceful in the car, so much so, that it seemed boring.  The skies seemed clear with maybe a cloud spotted here or there in the sky.  I scooted up some, pushing a bushy curly mass of hair from my face and grabbing daddy’s seat, I spoke through the quietness of the car.  The heavy atmosphere seemed to affect how loud my voice was.

              “Daddy?  Where are we?” I asked.

              “We just left the Apple Valley and Victor Ville area,” he looked at me through the mirror.  The shadow of where he always kept the hair off of his chin and under his lip was starting to creep up on him.  “Are you hungry?  It is getting near lunch time if you want to stop in a little bit.”

              Relieved that I didn’t have to tell him why I really needed to stop, I nodded, but he kept looking through the mirror at me, as if he couldn’t really tell I was nodding.  Maybe he just looked up there so I would know he was paying attention to me, but he couldn’t really see me.  I know the mirror is really for him to see the cars behind us.  “Yeah, I’m a little hungry,” I said after a few moments.

              Okay, he was my dad, and I probably didn’t have any real reason that you would call a reason, but I’m just shy about personal things, okay?  Get over it.  Anyway, we continued to ride along on this stretch of boredom’s-ville road.  There were a lot of ups and downs on this stretch of road, as if someone found a place where the earth had been pulled together in a fancy pleated fashion, and they purposefully built a road over that section thinking it might liven up the desert or something!  I’ll tell you, it did not!  It just made it feel annoying when you thought you could really see something interesting, then you were going up another hill that hid what you were looking at.

              I squeezed my thighs together wondering when we were going to stop.  He mentioned getting lunch in a bit, so it couldn’t be that long, could it?  I looked out the window to try to distract myself a little more from the uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. 

              “Barstow should be up here in about fifteen or twenty minutes,” my dad smiled back at me through the mirror that I was sure he couldn’t see me from.  He had broken into my looking out the window imagining a unicorn running along the side of the road, which meant my mind went right back to the pang in my side and the feeling I had at the pushing pressure inside wanting out.  “We’ll get some lunch there.”

              I leaned up.  “That long, dad?”

              “I’m afraid so, kiddo.  Is there something else bothering you?”

              “No.  Nothing.” I quickly sat back being far too embarrassed to say anything else on the matter.  My face felt a little bit hot, and I shook with the uncomfortable feeling that he somehow knew of my shame, that I had to get to the restroom.  I hope he doesn’t suspect.”

              I thought back into last year at my desk one day:

              Back in fourth grade in January or February:

              We had been reading from our class study book, How To Eat Fried Worms, I think the book was called.  I was sitting in my seat, feeling a little uncomfortable, and it was like thirty minutes before lunchtime.  I saw people sitting quietly around me, still reading, and the teacher was calling on someone else to read a bit.  As we read one, two, or sometime as many as five paragraphs, we discussed what was going on in the story.  I was starting to fidget a little bit….

 

              “Megan?” I heard my dad break into my thoughts again.  “Are you alright back there?  You seem a bit quiet.”

              “Yeah, I’m okay,” I sighed.  I wished he wouldn’t keep interrupting me.  He keeps making me have to go worse!  I pushed my hands on the front of my pants, and looked out the window for a sign that might tell me how much further I’d have to wait.

              “Honey, you don’t sound okay,” my dad looked up into the mirror, and though I was sure his eyes couldn’t really see me, it felt like he could see not only my eyes, but right down into my body and into the full bladder that was swishing around inside, battering at the dam that I was trying to reinforce with my thighs tightly pushed against it along with my hands.  “Look, if you need something, you should tell baby.”

              “There’s no bathroom around here,” I suddenly blurted out in frustration and anger that he kept making me think of it, and I was so embarrassed that I had to tell him that I had to go!  I didn’t mean it.  I was just really having a hard time and didn’t want to do anything like a baby, here.

              He sighed.  “Okay.  Well, hold on.  Just about another ten minutes, sweetheart.”

              He didn’t even get mad that I yelled at him.  Maybe he knows I had to go really bad?  I felt my face get even redder and knew I had to be turning purple.  I wanted to crawl into a tiny hole, but even though I felt all the shame of having to tell him I had to go so bad, I couldn’t stop my body fidgeting and my legs rubbing against each other, as if they were trying to massage the feeling away.

              Frowning, I tried to close my eyes, wanting out of this predicament I somehow got myself into.  I wanted dad to forget what he found out.  I wanted to just be sitting there quietly, just waiting patiently like the big girl I was supposed to be.  This was worse than anything….  But no, not really.

              Back in Fourth grade, last January or February:

              “Megan, stand up and read for us, please.” Mrs. Thompson called on me in reading.  The clock was still twenty-five minutes until lunch.  I was already squirming in my chair.

              “Um…,” I looked around.  I didn’t want to stand up.  Everyone might see me squirming.  But if I didn’t stand up, then everyone would be watching me for sure!  I nodded and stood up….

             

              “There’s the truck stop,” dad interrupted the memory of my worse day since starting school.  I felt grateful, but at the same time, annoyed that once again, his interruption brought me back to the present where I was reminded that I was trying to keep my self dry now.  It was eleven years old, now.  I was over halfway to being an adult.  I couldn’t be in this situation!  It was so babyish! 

              I looked out the window and saw we still had a very short way to get there, but the truck sign loomed up out of the ground like a savior!  I was very happy to see that sign, and mentally scolded my bladder to wait just five more minutes!  It wasn’t that bad! 

              Of course, it was bad.  My bladder pushed back in increased pressure to let me know that scolding it internally into submission was NOT going to work.  The only thing I could do to keep from disgracing myself, was get to the promised bathrooms given by signs under the Truck Stop name, and get there now!

              We pulled our car easily into a parking area as there were plenty of places to park around.  I pushed my knees together and internally scolded my bladder.

              “Look, just three more minutes, and then you can go,” I promised.  “Just three minutes.  Please.  It’s not going to kill you to wait that long!”

              My bladder pulsed at me, and I couldn’t tell if it was agreeing to the deal, barking at me because I was scolding it, or if it was warning me that I didn’t have three minutes.  I just knew that it wasn’t good to have the swishing pressure hammering at the dams inside.  I had to keep my thighs so close together it was hard to take any regular steps, and my hands were pushed up against my pants, trying to add strength to the barricade.

              My dad had started to just walk, but when he looked back and saw me struggling, he strode his three giant steps towards me, and he bent down.  His blue eyes looked into mine.  He looked serious but comforting at the same time.  “You’re not wet, at all yet, are you?”

              I shook my head.

              “I’m going to carry, you honey.  It will be faster, and you might make it, okay?”

              I nodded, my upper teeth pulled across my lower lip momentarily.  “Be careful,” I whispered.  “If you hold too tight, I might um….”

But he put a finger on my lips and gave me a serious look while his eyes were soft and understanding.  “Just do your best, baby.  I know you don’t want to have this happen.  Trust daddy.”

I nodded and let him carry me.  The jolting of his movement wasn’t helping the strength of my dam, but he did carry me more like I was something rather than someone which meant he kept my legs together which made the dam stay in place though it was weakening.  My upper body was nearly up over his left shoulder.

“Just another moment,” he whispered as I was jolted along.  I hoped I could make it.

He finally sat me down just outside the bathrooms for girls.

“Honey,” he made me wait one last moment while he lectured me about being safe.  “Remember, if you feel scared to come right out even if you are not done, and if you are in there more than five minutes, I’m going to come in on you looking for you, okay?”

I nodded pushing my legs and hands against the dam hoping he’d hurry this up.

“Okay, then,” and brushing the side of my face with the back of his hand moving some of my bushy caramel light brown hair out of my eyes, he turned me towards the bathroom patting me on the back to send me in.

Relief!  There were eight stalls in here, and I don’t think any of them were being used.  I saw some other women and girls near the sinks, but I ignored them.  The closest stall was necessary!  I hobbled to it as fast as I could, slammed the partition door hard, and hobbled to the toilet and started to pull at my pants when suddenly I felt a little urine pushing out.  I grabbed my pants down as fast as I could getting pee pee on the floor, on the toilet seat, and into the toilet.

Nervously, I felt around my jeans.  I was afraid.  But the butt was dry.  I pulled at the front.  It was dry.  I didn’t see anything noticeable in them, but I could feel a little bit of dampness that was just around the middle and partly down one thigh on the inside of the jeans.  My panties were damp and I was sure there was going to be a dried yellow stain where a little bit wet the middle of them.  Daddy never checks my clothes anymore, so he won’t know.  But that means I have to wear the damp panties and the jeans until they dried out.  A small price to pay.  No one will know I almost acted like a baby.

 

We were back out in the main area again, and dad took my hand leading me to one of the many restaurants that seemed to be around this giant complex of places for people stopping.  There was a motel, a gas station, six restaurants, a little souvenir shop, and even a tiny drug store.  It was almost like someone took a mall apart, and then separated each of the stores into separate buildings, and then placed them around this huge parking space.

“What about Mexican?” my dad smiled at me with a big toothy grin.  I loved the way his eyes got those little creases at the edges on the outside when he smiled, and how his forehead sometime got light lines that seemed to disappear up above his hairline so it looked like they probably went all the way to the top of his head.  They were just faint lines though, when he smiled. 

“Okay,” I said cheerily.  I loved Mexican food, especially if it wasn’t just the fast food that we Americans label Mexican like this restaurant wasn’t.  We walked through the door, and I could see Mexican themes everywhere from iconic large Sombreros hanging on the wall, to a huge map of Central America in the center of the area where we had to wait to be seated, and some other things that people sometimes didn’t think about.

             “Daddy?  How come that picture shows white people invading Mexico?  I though America never went that far south.”

              “Honey, the Europeans invaded all way from Canada all the way down further south than even Mexico when they first came here.  Our white blood doesn’t come from being natives of the area of the United States alone.”

              “Really?”

              “Yeah, honey.  Didn’t they teach you that in school yet?”

              “No.  We just learned about the gold rush, and some animals, and how the white people kicked the Californian peoples out so they could get the gold here.”

              “Ah.  I forgot.  I thought state history and culture was taught in third grade.”

              “Huh?” I knew what history meant, but I had never heard of culture as being something taught.  I thought it was just who you were.  Like there was Mexican culture, Chinese culture, and Black culture and those were just things that they did that was different a little bit from what I did.  I didn’t know that you had to learn it at school?  Or maybe daddy did when he was little but now it’s all over the place.  Daddy is like a zillion years old, after all.

              As we sat down, they brought out a plate of Quesadillas with some spicy sauce in a dish for us, and they gave us little glasses of water, like most good places did.  The young waitress handed us a menu, and as she started to walk away, my eyes were drawn over a door where a woman with dark red hair was holding the hand of a girl not too much smaller than me in a jean ripped jacket with cutesy decals of pink and yellow flowers on the sleeves, a pink shirt where the jacket was open and I could see a portion of a unicorn, and her pants were ripped and stained from just above the knee down.  It wasn’t just stylish rips like people sometimes buy these days, but it was really worn.  Her hair was nearly as bushy as mine, but it was a dirty blond that looked like it might be changing color.

              “Get your filthy kid and get out of the restaurant,” I heard someone yell at the woman.

              I felt sorry for the child who was holding her stomach, though and I patted daddy on the arm and nodded over at them.

              “I think the little kid is hungry,” I told him.  She was probably around my age, but I purposefully said little kid to get dad to look.

              He frowned and walked over where the woman and girl were standing.

              “Do you know this woman?” the usher asked my dad.

              “Yeah, they’re with us.  You know how little kids are!  That’s her favorite jacket and pants, so she insisted on wearing them.  I swear, she’s going to wear those jeans until they fall apart!”

              There was a chuckle and my daddy lifted up the little girl as if she was his child, and the woman walked with them and sat the little girl down next to me.  I couldn’t tell while we were sitting if she was really shorter than me or not.

              The woman smiled at my dad.  “Thank you.”

              “Don’t mention it,” he nodded at the waiters around the room.  “We can talk about it later.”

              I smiled up at my daddy.  My daddy was really nice to people sometimes.  That’s one of the good things about my daddy.  If he thought you were in trouble, he’d help you even if it wasn’t his business.

              “So, does um…,” Daddy waited for the lady to fill in the little girl’s name for him as he was trying to find out about them.

              “October, oh, um… Octy,” the woman trembled some.  She looked like she was lost in how to do something this sneaky.

              “Yeah, does Octy like anything special that is Mexican food?”

              The little girl looked nervous as she peered her eyes through the top of her had that was bent down to the table, and she mumbled.  “aysi z gu.”

              I didn’t hear what she said at all.  I know what gibberish I did get was not anything that could be intelligible to even my smart daddy.

              “Honey, I couldn’t hear you,” my dad whispered to the little girl that I saw getting tears in her eyes, and she shook some. 

I didn’t know what to do.  Would she get more scared if I hugged her?  I showed her the menu, and I pointed to the enchiladas I was hoping to get.  “Do you like that?” I asked.

The girl nodded her head a little bit, but she was still shaking really bad.  I frowned and looked back to the woman.  Now, I noticed, the woman was looking like she was shaking a bit, too.  I wondered what they were scared of, and it sort of made me nervous.  I cast my eyes about to see if it looked like someone was looking for someone.  I imagined they’d probably be angry and maybe even stomping around, so I was looking for a person with that kind of vibe.

My dad put a hand on the woman’s hand, and he whispered up at her.  “Tell the little one to just eat quietly, and you, too, and then we can go back to my car together after lunch, and maybe you can tell me how I can help you.”

The woman nodded.

“My name is David.  David Lawrence,” My daddy told her with a stern look like he knew she was in trouble, but I couldn’t tell if daddy thought helping her was a good idea or not.  It was the kind of look he gave me when he was fixing a problem that I caused, but tried to pretend just happened, but he didn’t really believe the problem was there for no reason.

“I… I’m Vanessa,” the woman nodded.  “I…I’ll tell you everything, once we are safe.”

My daddy nodded.  “Well, I will get you somewhere safe.  I wouldn’t forgive myself if you got yourself in trouble, and it caused a child to get hurt.”

The woman nodded and looked down.  “Thank you.”

As we sat and ate our lunch, I felt my face blush a little hot because I thought the other kid was sitting a little too close to me, and I definitely smelled something.  I was kind of surprised my daddy didn’t smell how bad it was, if I could smell myself.  I would probably have to tell him I peed my pants after all.  I felt tears in my eyes as I realized that this little girl I didn’t know was going to find out.  She had to smell me, though.  It was really strong.

My daddy reached a hand across the table, and he mouthed at me.  “It’s okay, baby.  We can talk later.”

I nodded.  Did he really know and was waiting to get me alone to not make me embarrassed?  I was so stupid thinking I could hide that I peed my pants from him.  Of course, he knew every time I did something weird.

“Your little girl looks a little scared,” the woman said.  “Assuming it’s not because of you, maybe we are making her nervous?”

My daddy shook his head.  “She’s just going through some stuff,” he seemed to try not to tell her about private matters.  “She’ll be fine after we talk later.”

“I don’t mean to cause trouble, David.  I’m sorry I don’t have any money to pay you back for lunch, but we can just disappear when we are done eating.”

“No, Vanessa.  I promise, it’s not you.  Megan is just emotional right now.  She’ll be okay.”

I could see the woman looking more at me than my dad though in that exchange, it felt like she knew something.  Maybe I smelled so bad she knew I wet, too.  I shook my head.  I had to ignore her stares.  But they were hard.  I gulped.  She knew I had peed my pants.  I could tell.  She knew.  I shivered a little more.  I didn’t even want daddy to know!  What was I going to do now?  She’ll tell him.  He already knew.  I shivered again.

“Your child is really scared,” the woman told my dad.  “I really think if you let me talk to her for a moment, just over there by the bathrooms, I can calm her down.  She didn’t look nervous until we sat at your table.”

My daddy looked at me for a moment.  They seemed to watch each other for an eternity.  My daddy looked around for a moment.

“Don’t worry.  The people looking for us don’t know we are here,” the woman told my dad.  “We left in the middle of the night a couple of days ago.  No one knows where we are.  I promise.”

My dad sighed and nodded.  “Okay.  But you stay where I can see my daughter.”

The woman nodded and she stood up.  “Come on, Megan.  I promise, you’ll be okay, and your daddy will be right here watching us.  I just don’t want to scare Octy anymore than she already is.”

I nodded as I looked up at my dad.

“Just be ready,” he mouthed at me so I’d know he didn’t fully trust the woman.  I knew what he meant.  He taught me how to get away from a big person a couple of years ago.  Even a woman doesn’t like her foot stepped on between where the leg meets just under the ankle.  And he would be out of his seat if he saw me fighting her.

We walked over by the bathrooms, and the woman bent down to my ear.

“Look, sweetheart, I told your dad the truth,” the woman got really serious with me as she looked intently in my eyes.  “No one knows where Octy and I are, so you don’t have to worry about anyone causing your daddy trouble.  You are safe.”

I nodded up at her, my lower teeth pulling at my upper lip.  I crossed my legs as though hiding something.  I didn’t think it could be seen, but still, best not take any chances if she doesn’t know.

“Honey, if you gotta use the toilet, that’s fine.  You can go.  I’ll just go back to the table and tell your dad that the new people at the table made you too nervous to tell him.”

I frowned.  My dad just took me.  What would he think?  But the woman thought I had to go.  If she figured out I was wet, and I didn’t go now, what would she tell daddy?  I shivered.

“I mean it, sweetheart,” the lady smiled at me.  “You can’t just stand there and pee your pants like a baby—not a big girl like you.  Go potty and your daddy will understand, honey.”

I looked at her for a good long time, long enough that she put her hand on my shoulder.  “Sweetheart, are you already leaking?” she asked me.

I shook my head no.  I wasn’t going to admit that if she didn’t know I was wet.

“Then go to the toilet before I tell your dad that you are peeing in your pants, baby.”

I nodded and went into the bathroom.  She was forceful, but at least she didn’t know I almost peed my pants.  I went to the sink and grabbed some paper towels, wet them, and then went into a cubical to try to pull my pants down and wipe out the panties.  I couldn’t get caught wetting my pants!  Not at eleven years old!

I shook as I tried to wet my panties with the water trying to make them smell less like I peed.  I dampened around the middle of my jeans, too, but I couldn’t tell which leg some of it went down earlier because both legs were dry, and there wasn’t a stain.  I just patted water on both sides of the inside of the leg parts by the middle.  I wet the panties as much as I could without making them wet enough that I was afraid they would get my jeans wet, and then I used toilet paper and patted the panties dry.  Do I smell less now?

I stood up, and looked between my legs at my inner thighs.  I patted some toilet paper there, too, just in case.  The toilet paper didn’t come out wet, so I must be okay.  I sighed.  Finally, I came out of the door just as I saw the severe woman reaching her hand out to push the door open.

She squatted down.  “Your daddy sent me to check on you.  You were in there a while.  Are you okay?”

I nodded.

“Okay, then, let’s go finish eating, sweetie.”

We walked back, and I kept looking up at her hoping I didn’t smell bad.

We sat and started eating.

So if the woman didn’t know I was wet, maybe daddy didn’t know?  Maybe he just thought I missed mom again?  Maybe he just thought like I did and was worried someone was going to come even if she thought she was safe.  Maybe I was worried about nothing.  Only I smelled it.  Octy didn’t say anything about it to me.

But as I sat there, nervously, I started to smell it again.  I couldn’t understand it.  I thought I got the smell to go away when I wiped it with water.  I didn’t smell it when I was talking to the woman, I don’t think.  No one gave me any strange looks.  Why do I smell it again?

A tear rolled down my face from my left eye.  It smelled, and once dad was in front of me long enough, when we talked, he was going to know I was bad and acted like a baby.  I wasn’t even supposed to do this.  I am eleven years old!  Please, don’t let everyone at the table know I peed!  I looked over at Octy who was still looking down.  I knew she was nervous.  She was too nervous to say anything, probably.  If she smelled me, she couldn’t speak up about it.  She barely said a word since she sat with us.

The woman, Vanessa, was talking to my daddy.  They were more getting to know each other like what music they liked or where they went to school.  From the way they talked, it might have looked like two single parents met up on a date and took their kids with them.

 

[parkintochter]

Wow, really good first chapter! Everything feels so real!

[parkintochter]

Who doesn't know the feeling when smelling something funny and immediately thinking it has to be yourself😄

[Ishigreensa]

Sorry for the long wait.  I've been struggling how to get this chapter to work. I think it at least pushes forward some character development even if it could have been written a little better.  Either in Chapter Three or Chapter Four, we will probably visit what is going on inside of October's head.

Chapter Two

Be Our Guests!

           How quickly it seemed I was in my old neighborhood, and then whoosh, we were here at the truck stop nearly three hours away!  I could recall the exact route we had taken to get the freeway, but then everything was a blur after that!  We turned right from my house and went to the end of the block, a row of houses blocking further progression.  We turned left and went up until houses blocked us again, turned right, but even though the houses didn’t stand in our way like a wall, we turned at that main intersection to the neighborhood I lived in.  We went up to a main street and then we went off to find the freeway.

              Janice’s house had been down the opposite way of where we made our first turn off of our street.  Lana’s house was passed before we came to the street in our neighborhood that led to the final turn out of there.  If we turned right instead of left to get to the main road through town, we would have passed my old elementary school.  How quickly I was starting to miss the blue and white building. 

I sat in front of my empty plate, now, looking up at daddy wondering when we were going to get started again.  I could smell it again.  I don’t think the water helped as much as I hoped.  It seemed when I sat a long time, the smell could build up.  There’s no way October didn’t smell me.

              The blond girl next to me wiggled a little.  Her head was still down.  She was almost done eating, and Vanessa was talking to my dad.

              “So, how long of a drive have you had so far?” Vanessa asked my dad.

              “Well, we came from Southern San Diego,” dad told her, pretty close to the border, actually.  So, with a stop for gas once, and once to check the map against the driving instructions the navigator was trying to give me, it’s been about three and a half hours.”

              “I see.  And you are going out of state?” Vanessa shifted her leg and looked around at who was the latest person to enter.

              “That’s right.  I’m taking my daughter all the way up to Wyoming.”

              “Pretty cold up there, isn’t it?”

              Yeah, but she’ll have more space to play where we are moving.”

              Vanessa looked around again.

              I felt like she was still on nerves even though she had said something about not expecting to be seen by whoever was chasing them.

              Daddy reached his hand towards her.  “Look, if you are nervous we’ve been here too long, we could get going.  It looks like the girls are done eating.”

              “Well, I would like that,” and her voice lowered.  “But honestly, I sort of want to use the restroom, but I’m afraid if I do, I might miss someone coming in to take October back.”

              “Well, she’s probably gotta go, too, doesn’t she?”

              Vanessa’s mouth tightened, and she shook her head lowering it.  “She’s probably wet herself by now.  Our first intention when we came in, was to let her use it, but then the big stir up happened, and then you led us to your table, and no one talked about it since, and she’s not moving much right now, so I’m pretty sure her diaper is soaked.”

              “Diaper?” daddy looked into the woman’s eyes, and I immediately couldn’t help myself looking down at Octy’s lap.

              Now, I looked down there, I understood that why it smelled when I was sitting there at the table but not over there standing with Vanessa, was that my poor little peer was peeing in her pants, and as I looked, I could see that part of the inside of one of her legs was discolored from the way her light blue worn faded and torn jeans should look, and when she shifted, there were momentary moments of shifting grayness of the faded blue over the top of her pants and between her legs.  Her face was blushing red.

              “…she didn’t come from a good place,” I heard the woman still talking to daddy.  I had paid so much attention to the poor girl, I missed part of what she said.  “The child can’t help it.  She’s scared to speak up most of the time, and then she gets really scared when she gets found out.  That’s why I tried not to say anything about it until now.  I don’t want her to get worked up or start pleading that she’s sorry and draw more unwanted attention at herself.”

              I reached my hand out to her and squeeze her dry upper outer thigh so I wouldn’t touch her gross pee.  “It’s okay,” I whispered to her wanting to calm her down.  If it wasn’t her fault, then she shouldn’t have to feel like crying.  But she looked exactly like she was about to do just that.  Her lip was quivering, her eyes watering, and her beat red face was looking down at her lap.

              “You can go to the washroom,” my daddy told the lady.  “I swear, I won’t let anyone take the little one.”

              Vanessa nodded and started off, though I could see her looking back at us, like five or six times reluctantly before she got to the bathroom door where she gave one long look before she went in.

              “Daddy,” I whispered to him.  “I think her butt’s wet and she’s probably peeing her pants.”

              He nodded.  “Well, there’s nothing we can do about it right now.  Just keep comforting her for now, and we’ll figure out what to do when Vanessa gets back.”

              I smiled and then whispered to Octy.  “See?  He’s not mad even if you got the chair wet.  It’s not your fault, okay?”

              The gold blond head nodded, half way up, once and fell back down, but tears still streamed down her face. 

But I understood.  If I had just peed all over myself, and then everyone found out I had a diaper on that I peed through, I’d want to cry, too.  I couldn’t do anything but lightly squeeze her leg.  “Don’t worry,” I whispered.

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered up at me.  “I didn’t mean to emb…a…ar…r…uh…um…aress you,” she was having a hard time keeping her emotion from being a whine.

“I… you… um… you didn’t embarrass me,” I was thrown off guard at her thinking she did something to me.  “Uh… m… how… how should I be embarrassed?” and just like that, I found my tongue stumbling over how I was supposed to respond to that!

“Because…,” but she only continued to look down at her lap, and I started to notice it was slowly getting darker between her legs again, and the smell was getting stronger. 

I wondered if she was actually peeing right now, and why she didn’t ask to use the toilet, but I was nervous about asking her why.  What if it really set her off crying?  Then she’d be really humiliated.

“Daddy!” I whispered to dad.  “Daddy!”

He seemed to have been in a funny daydream, but when I called him the third time, he snapped out of it looking right into my eyes.

“Can I take her to the car?” I asked shaking with nervousness for her.  “Her knees are banging against each other, and she’s about to cry because the pee is seeping through her diaper and getting her pants all wet.”

“I’m sorry, baby,” Daddy shook his head at me.  “I want to get her out of here, too, but I promised Vanessa that I wouldn’t move her until she came back because Vanessa is very worried about someone bad getting her.  If they are that bad, then I don’t want to risk losing you, too, honey.”

I sighed and nodded. 

Vanessa came back eventually, and looking up at her, I wondered what she was  going to do when she found out how bad Octy had leaked.  Octy’s butt was all wet because there was some liquid in the chair from her doing it.

The woman walked over, and reached out her hand to which Octy automatically reached for, scooting off of the seat, causing some liquid to push over the chair edge making a bit of a sound as the pee hit the floor.  I frowned at it and looked at all the people around, but it was like they didn’t even notice.

I took Octy’s other hand, and daddy nodded at me.  “Take them to the car, sweetheart.  Here.”

With daddy’s key, I went out of the place with them, and I think daddy was paying the front person guy.  We got to the car, and I unlocked the door for Octy and Vanessa.

“You can get in the front,” I told the lady.  “I’m not allowed to ride up there anyway because daddy is still nervous of me getting hurt in the car.  I ride back here.”

I directed Octy into the back, but just on the inside blocking her from sitting on the only free seat that didn’t have stuff all over it, and I whispered to her.

“Don’t sit yet.   I have some clean clothes back here….”

“No!” Octy suddenly shouted louder than I’d ever heard her speak until now, but even then, it was more that it startled me than it actually being loud.  She had her face all red and set and her hands guarding her pants button.

I looked up at her and her face was in a fearful shock, her mouth having frozen after saying no, so it looked like she kept saying “ooooh,” but there was no sound coming from her mouth.

“Octy, it’s okay.  These are my clothes, and I want to let you wear…,” but she shook her head, her hands and legs also shaking.

“N… n… no,” she said half whining.  “He’ll find out!”

“Who will find out?” I asked her reaching out to hold both of her hands again.  “The people we got you from are never going to bother you again.  Okay?”

She nodded.  Tears stained her cheeks.  Her hair was oily and it smelled, but then she was probably going to the bathroom on herself for forever, so of course it smelled.  “Your dad, though,” she eventually got through her silent hiccups to tell me who would find out I let her wear something.

“Octy, my dad will know the minute he comes and gets in the car that I put my pants on you, and trust me he wants me to.  There’s no way daddy wants you to wear those soaked things!”

“B… be… because…,” but she couldn’t get her voice to sound even though her lips were shaking and trying to say what she was still worried about.

“Megan, honey,” the woman in the front whispered at me.  “Come here, please.”

I kept hold of Octy’s hands and walked her backwards along our narrow aisle besides the front seats until I was closer to the woman.

“Octy won’t know it’s okay to wear your clothes until your dad gets back and tells her that she can, I mean, if that’s really not going to be a problem.”

“It’s not, Mrs. Vanessa.  I would never leave my friend in messy pants, and even if we haven’t gotten to be friends, yet, I don’t want her to sit like that for hours.”

Vanessa smiled.  “Well, you’re not the one buying your clothes yet.  Octy knows that, and she’s going to be scared to change her clothes unless your dad tells her to do it.”

I frowned.  “Anyone that would keep someone from getting into clean pants, is… well….” I put my finger on my mouth thinking, tapping my lips, wanting an appropriate word, but not one that would be cussing and get me into trouble.  It was hard to think of a word that was okay to say.  I shook my head on an obvious big people’s words that daddy would be really mad at me if I used, and then I looked up at her.  “I can’t say the word that that person is, but he is one, for making her think she has to wear soaking wet pants.”

Vanessa smiled at me.  “I agree, but even if tell Octy it’s okay, she won’t agree to it unless your dad not only just agrees, but he tells her to change her pants.”

I shook my head not understanding how someone my age wouldn’t just automatically change if something happened to make my pants uncomfortable.  Dad got back to the car, and seeing the sliding door closed, but both of us standing, he motioned at me.

“Honey, you should have your seatbelt on by now.”

“I would, but I don’t want Octy to sit with her pants like that.”  I pulled her over and turned her so he could see her butt.

He frowned.  “So?  Tell her to take her pants off, honey?”

“She won’t.  I tried to let her borrow some of my pants, but she won’t even do it.”

Vanessa whispered to my daddy, and he frowned.  I didn’t hear what she told him, but he said “You’ve gotta be kiddin’ me” in surprised response.

Vanessa just shook her head.

“Octy, honey,” my dad motioned for her.  “Come here, sweetheart.”

She looked up at him taking the last step to get as close as the seats would let her.

“Megan is going to go back and get a pair of jeans and a pair of panties for you to put on.  I want you to try to wear them for me.  I know Megan might be a little taller and thinner than you are, but at least the pants will be clean.  Understand?”

Octy nodded her dark golden head at him, and then looked to me to do what he said.

I knew daddy would, but he turned away from us, so that Octy wouldn’t be dressing in front of him, and he spoke with the big woman again while I started to rummage through the clothes. 

Finally, I found a skirt that would be more comfortable, I thought, since skirts can sort of stretch to fit you, and I knew my panties would be tight around her waist, and probably too big in the butt, but there was nothing I could do about that.  I just pulled them out, the Hello Kitty panties that were white and pink, and I smiled at her showing her.

Octy smiled at me.

I got up to the seat, and sat while I looked up at Octy.  “Can you undo your button and pull your icky pants down?” I asked her.

She nodded and slid her pants down so that I could see the diaper was infact so soaked through it, it wasn’t doing anything a pair of panties couldn’t do.  I frowned as she pulled them off and some of the pee that was pooled in the soaked cotton stuff inside accidentally came down her legs and got the space on the floor wet between the seat and the sliding door.

“It’s okay,” I whispered to Octy when she nervously looked towards my dad.  I think she was worried he’d be mad she peed on the floor, but I didn’t think he should be.  He’s the one that told her to change her pants.

She eventually looked back at me when she was sure daddy wasn’t even going to look at her right then.  I reached over the seat and grabbed a clean shirt for her, and an old towel.

“Wipe yourself with this,” I showed her the faded purple-pink towel that was more for hands than a shower.  “You need to get that pee off your body as much as you can, okay?”

Octy nodded with a frown and started to wipe herself, only….  I frowned.  I didn’t know what to do.  She wasn’t exactly doing it right, and she let the towel drop to the floor when she wasn’t even wiped off right.  I looked to my daddy, but I wouldn’t even want him to see me naked, and he’s my dad.  I shook my head and handed her my panties knowing they were about to get peed on because she didn’t know how to wipe herself right.  There was nothing I could do about it though.  I wasn’t going to let her sit there naked.

“Here, put the skirt on,” I told Octy.

She looked at me for a moment frowning.  I think she realized that I didn’t like how she wiped, but I didn’t really know what to do about it.  I couldn’t think how to tell her she needed to do it better in places, but I wasn’t going to touch her there, gross.  So, I just smiled at her and waited for her to put the skirt on.  Then I nodded at her shirt.

“You need to take that off, too.  You wore it more than two days, right?”

She nodded, but looked back at my daddy again.

“Daddy!” I huffed thinking it was getting annoying that she had to have permission for every little step.  “She’s dirty from wearing her shirt two days, and peeing all the time, but she won’t change the shirt.”

My dad looked back at us, and frowned at her.  “Honey, put the clothes on I told Megan to dress you in.  Both Megan and I want you to be as clean as possible, okay?”

Octy nodded and looked down, and I saw a tear come from her eye.

Sighing, I tried to explain myself.  “Octy, I didn’t tell on you to get you in trouble.  I just can’t make you do stuff, and but, my daddy and the lady are big, and they can.”

She nodded, but the tears were still there, and her eyes were wet.

I hugged her, and then offered her the shirt again.  It was a purple one with Tom Jerry on it, smiling at you, or at least their heads were.

Why can’t she just decide to change on her own?  I gave her clothes, so she shouldn’t need my daddy to tell her to change, and why did the woman have my daddy tell her to do it, instead of doing it herself?  I know she’s not Octy’s mommy, but Octy knows her better than she knows my daddy.

I frowned as she got the shirt on, and I scooted over to give her room to sit down.

“Are you going to pee your pants again?” I asked her.  I wasn’t trying to be mean, but I wanted to know if I should expect the seat to get wet, and that I might end up getting her pee on me since the two seats behind us were full of our stuff.

Octy shrugged.  “I already finished at the restaurant,” her voice was so low and strained when she explained, that I only caught a few syllables of what she said, but I still caught what she meant.

“I don’t mean right now, Octy.  I mean, can you ask my daddy or the lady to stop?”

Yeah, I know.  That was a bit rich coming from me since I didn’t want to tell daddy to pull over before and tried to wait until he would just want to stop.  Still, I knew to hold it.  I wasn’t sure if Octy knew to at least hold it.

“I… I’m not sure,” Octy frowned and her voice was so quiet that I almost didn’t pick up what she said.

“Well, at least scoot away from me when you get ready to leak,” I told her.  “And if you do feel some go in your pants, let me know so I can try to keep away from your pee, okay?”

She nodded.

“Daddy, are we going to get her diapers before long?  I know it’s not her fault, but I’d rather not get pee all over me from her.”

“Honey, we’ll see if there is a stop later,” daddy told me.  “I know this is hard for you, but she is going through a lot, too.”

“I know.  I’m trying to be nice.  I even don’t care if she accidentally wets my clothes.  I just don’t want to sit in a puddle.”

“I get it, honey.  I’ll see what I can do in a little bit.”

I felt October move a little next to me, so I scooted closer to her to put an arm around her.  “I wasn’t complaining about you,” I tried to tell her.  “I just wanted it so we didn’t have to sit in a puddle for too long.  I’m not used to peeing my pants, okay?”

October nodded her head at me, but stayed quiet with a little frown.  Honestly, I guess I was complaining about her, but it wasn’t her, her.  It was just the pee.  If she peed her pants so easily at the restaurant, then I had no doubt she would just sit there wetting without thinking about it.  Some one had to really mess with her head to make her do that, because I think they said she was my age.  I don’t understand at all.  Couldn’t she fight it, even just be sneaky?  Why did the woman just let her pee her pants instead of telling us as soon as daddy rescued them that she wanted to use the toilet?  Why didn’t she let her go?  I had so many questions, but looking at the shaking-nervous blond next to me, I knew I couldn’t ask her.  I could, but I felt like it would be mean.

We finally got out of the rest area parking and headed up on the road.  As we drove on a bit, October started to visibly relax.  I saw her fists that kept balling up, finally loosen and the length of her hands were finally seen in her lap.  Her shoulders finally sagged a little, so I just realized she had been stiff that whole time, and I heard an audible sigh escape her mouth.

“Are you okay?” I asked her.

She kept looking down, but she nodded.

“You know I’m not trying to be mean, don’t you?”

She nodded with a small smile starting to grace her down cast face.  A little blush heated up her face a bit.  She tilted her head ever so slightly so it wasn’t as down as it was.  She whispered when she spoke.

“I’m sorry.  I am bad, so I cause trouble a lot.”

Her statement sounded sad, but she didn’t whine or even sniffle as she said this.  She just looked neutral.  I think she just believed that, and the way she said it, it was like she couldn’t do anything about it.

“Octy, where you are running away from, are they like… um… your real mommy or daddy?” I wondered.

She shook her head.  “My real mommy and daddy and little sister died a couple of years ago.  I should have died with them.”

I hugged her.  “No, you shouldn’t.”  I felt the loneliness in her voice, and I felt tears come to my eyes, though I noticed her eyes were no longer teary at all.  She didn’t even sniffle.  It was like she just stated a fact like a computer or a robot.

“My mom and dad and little sister died,” she said re-affirming what she had said.  “Then my uncle got forcefully taken out of his home, and they took me. Like, I killed my parents, I got my uncle taken, and he’s probably in their prison or something.  Then I messed up with the Gavins, and made their little sister potty train late because I’m stupid.  I am bad.”

I hugged her.  Her voice was very low, and with the radio on, I didn’t think daddy heard what she said.  She was so quiet and though relaxed now, her voice sounded sad.  I wanted to tell her that she wasn’t bad, and that I didn’t think anything she said about her parents dying, her uncle being taken, or this Gavin people’s little girl being late to potty train was her fault at all.  How could it be?  She was no older than I was.

“I’m Megan,” I told her in case she had missed my name earlier.  “I’m ten years old, but I turn eleven in November.”

“Me too,” her voice was still really quiet, barely above her whisper though a tiny bit stronger than before.  “I turned eleven in December, though.”

She smiled a little more, and I started to see through her dirty face, that if she cleaned it up, she might be a pretty person. 

Rubbing her thigh, I started to tell her about me.

“We’re moving because my daddy got a good job in Wyoming, but it means I had to leave my house that I lived in since I was a baby.  I was born there.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

I shrugged.  “There’s nothing to be sorry about, really,” I told her.  “I’ll miss my old room, my friends, and my school, but daddy says we are on an adventure, and he’s going to try to help me stay connected to my old friends.”

“That’s nice.”

October still seemed very quiet, even though I was starting to get her to talk some.  She didn’t seem to like to say a lot, yet.  But maybe that was because of the people she came from, or maybe she was shy.  Well, I’m not driving all the way to Wyoming with her in the car, if she stays that long, without getting her to talk to me.  It was boring enough without anyone there, but there was no reason to be bored if you have someone in the car with you, right?

“The only thing I really will miss about that house, I mean, the only thing that will be forever, is that I knew my mommy in that house.”

“What happened?” she whispered.

“Oh, mom got really sick like about three years ago, and then almost two years ago…,” I started to feel tears gathering in my eyes.  My mom’s face returned to my inner eye, and I choked up a little bit as I tried to continue.  “…she… um… she stopped breathing.”

October now put a hand behind my back and patted my back.  “It hurts,” she said.

I nodded.  It did hurt, still.  But of course, she understood.  She said her parents were killed.  Tears started to creep down my face.  I shook a little bit.  “It was babyish of me,” I whispered to Octy.  “But I wanted to keep the baby blocks and the baby dresser that my mom bought me.”

October frowned.  “You didn’t?”

“We didn’t have room,” I gestured at the full back part of the minivan we were in.  “Anyway, daddy says it’s time I grew up.  He’s right, but it still wasn’t easy.”

October nodded with tears in her eyes.  “I would have given anything to keep even a baby rattle or anything from my parents.”  She finally said more than two words.  She whispered them very softly, and her face burned red with her ears nearly bursting into flame from her embarrassment.

“So, how did such bad people get you?” I asked her.

“I think I’m the bad one,” October whispered.

“If you were bad, that woman wouldn’t be trying to rescue you, and I don’t know what you are thinking, but there’s no way you could have killed your parents or caused your uncle to get taken.  That was just life doing things to you.  It wasn’t you at all.  I’m not going to blame myself for mommy being sick.  Dad said she had been sick for a while before I knew, and that it had nothing to do with me.  I miss her, but I know he's right.  And I know you didn’t kill your parents, Octy.”

She looked at me, staring, her mouth a gap.  It looked like she was shocked that I said that, but it had to be the truth.  How can a ten year old, or especially an eight year old, if it happened two years ago…, how can she have had anything to do with any of that stuff?

“Look, Octy, I don’t know what bad things you think you did, but I know that life is chaos, sometimes.  It just does things to you.  So, you can’t say everything is your fault.  You have to think about it.  Did you do something that you remember that made men break into your house or shoot people in the restaurant or however they did it?  Did you call bad people on your uncle, or tell them where he was?  No, right?”

October looked at me, her eyes shining, her head raised up to look in my eyes for the first time, and the shock on her face was too real for me to fathom.  She had never thought of those things before, and it looked like she was trying, but something was there, behind her nervous eyes that didn’t really see me, I suspected, but were looking past me, into something that was fighting with what I just told her.

I shook her.  “Octy.  Octy.  Octy!” I finally got her eyes to focus on mine.  “You didn’t do it, okay?”

She pressed her lips inward, until they disappeared into her mouth, and she nodded, but I wasn’t convinced that she believed me.  What could I do though?  I guess saying it doesn’t just undo what she believes.  Maybe she just needs me to be her friend right now.  Maybe we met for a reason, like my daddy sometimes says.  He says that sometimes, the universe just puts people together who need each other.  Sometimes for a day, and sometimes for a lifetime.  She needs me.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It is also no accident that I named two other names than what I named in chapter one as friends she thought of when she recalled her neighborhood.  This is to show that she was kind of popular at her old school.

[Night Rain]

This is turning out well.

[parkintochter]

Really good second chapter! I'm eager to find out what's the deal with Vanessa and how she got Octie. I also like the relationship between Megan and Octie. They seem to get good friends in the future.

[Babytom948]

the tags 😅🤣

[Ishigreensa]

Well, the tags will have a deeper meaning when we get further into the story.  Trying not to give it all away all at once.

3 hours ago, Babytom948 said:

the tags 😅🤣

We'll see if they develop that strong bond or not, but they are connecting on a superficial level right now for sure.

5 hours ago, parkintochter said:

Really good second chapter! I'm eager to find out what's the deal with Vanessa and how she got Octie. I also like the relationship between Megan and Octie. They seem to get good friends in the future.

The problem is that I thought it was turning out okay the first time but it took a wrong turn and was taken down the first time, thus I've struggled to bring it back in a way that wouldn't cross certain lines, but still told the story I was trying to tell.

18 hours ago, Night Rain said:

This is turning out well.

But we have a few turns and twists coming in the story to come, though some of them might be expected by some of you who have tried to read the first time before it was taken down, and the intermediate attempt that didn't go well and so I took that one down myself.

[parkintochter]

23 minutes ago, Ishigreensa said:

But we have a few turns and twists coming in the story to come, though some of them might be expected by some of you who have tried to read the first time before it was taken down, and the intermediate attempt that didn't go well and so I took that one down myself.

Even if I kind of know what to expect in the next chapters, I'm very excited for plot and twists you have coming for us

[parkintochter]

On 3/24/2024 at 4:14 AM, Night Rain said:

This is turning out well.

How do you like the changes from the first version? I think it was fun to dislike Larry, but I think it feels better without him

[Night Rain]

It's a nice way to explore some of the other characters more and can focus on both Megan and Octy in a nice light,

[Ishigreensa]

 I change between Megan's view point when we are in the present in the car, but to October's view point when she is telling the story of how she got stuck with the Gavins.  This is just the first part of her story.  

So, to help you guess when we are shifting view points, I tried to double space so the spaces should be bigger when shifting scenes, and also, I usually had Megan interrupting October's story with her curious moments, comments, and questions, she normally starts out speaking after a longer spacing.  I think it's easier to see it going back to October telling the story because the little interruption comes to a close, I think, and then October starts telling her story again.

Chapter Three

October’s Story Part I

              “So, I guess you didn’t really like where you were placed at,” I looked over at Octy after a little while in the car with her.  Every time the conversation turned towards her place before Vanessa got her, during the last hour or so, she kept looking away and got a little quiet.

              “No,” she sighed and looked at me with those cute little blue-green eyes of hers.  “It was not a fun place to be at all, but then, when you are bad like me, I guess I deser…,” she paused mid-word because I frowned at her narrowing my eyes at her.

              “Stop that,” I nearly threw a fit.  “You’re not bad, and anyone that made you think like that, are bad.  You know if you do something bad or not, and it doesn’t sound like you did anything on purpose, that you knew would cause trouble.”

              Daddy heard me yell at Octy, whom now was looking down.

              “Megan, sweetheart, yelling at her to stop it will only make her shut you out.  It takes more than just words to get through someone that’s been abused.”

              “Abuse?” I asked.

              “You know… hit all the time and told things to make you feel like you can’t do anything right.  Vanessa has been telling me a little bit about what the little one has gone through, and she’s not just trying to irritate you, okay?”

              I frowned. 

              I turned back to Octy and put a hand on her arm.  “I’m sorry, Octy.  I should have known better, but it’s just… how…?  How can you think you are bad?”

              October gulped.  Her blue-green eyes shined at me.  I knew she was thinking and she started to wiggle her legs. 

              I grabbed her hand.  “Octy.  I’m really sorry.  You don’t have to tell me,” I whispered.

              She nodded, but after a minute or two, a soft whispery kind of air came from her throat.

              “It was at night, when the police came along with some people that I knew hated uncle,” she had started.  Tears leaked from her eyes.  Her mouth twitched a moment, and then she continued.

              “I woke up to people breaking into the front and back door.  I was in the bedroom, and when I woke up with a start, I did my first bad thing….”

              She looked me in the eye, and seemed to wait for something, but what, I didn’t know until she looked down at her lap.  She mouthed it more than she said it.  “I wet the bed for the first time, ever.”

              I nodded.  “That’s kind of natural,” I whispered to her.  “I go almost every morning when I wake up, and so surely it’s because I had to go in the night, but my body can wait, only you got scared….”

              She hung her head.  “You wouldn’t have wet.”

              I blushed.  I didn’t know if I would have or not, but I knew how scary it was to wet.  I was scared to tell daddy earlier.  “But you’re not me, and I’m not you, are we?”

              She shook her head no.

              She was quiet for a while.  Maybe I had discouraged her.  I shuffled in my seat not sure what to say to ease the uneasiness in the quiet back.  Dad and Vanessa were talking really low in the front, so it was really quiet.

              I reached in back and pull out a bottle of soda for myself, and then looking at Octy, I asked her.  “Hey, do you want some?”

              Octy just shrugged, so I gave her a grape one, and I put an orange and a grape one up in Vanessa’s lap for the adults.

              “Oh, thank you, honey,” Vanessa said to me.

              I smiled.  I felt kind of shy about her thanking me for such a simple thing; especially, since I only thought of her after I thought of Octy because when I got me one, then I saw Octy, and knew she must not have anything, and if I was thirsty, she probably was, too.

              Suddenly, Octy began again after taking a small sip, a purple mustache started to lightly color her upper lip.

              “So, uncle came into the room, and he pushed me towards the closet.  We had practiced that so many times before.  I don’t think Uncle knew it was mixed with the police at the door.  But even the police were there to take him, so it still wasn’t good for him.”

              I listened trying to keep my questions and my mouth shut so as not to discourage her again.

             

              They found me the next day, when I had to come out of hiding to get something to eat.  I hadn’t eaten for breakfast or lunch, but stayed holed up in my safety spot, and no one found me all the time I was there.  I had to pee my pants again, like twice, because I was too scared to come out.  But finally, I had to eat.

              My room was quiet, and the lights in the hall were off.  Out the bedroom window, I saw the sun going down.  When I came out of my closet, I had seen that they had stripped my bed clean of everything, and my closet was so bare, it was like coming out into an unfamiliar bedroom.  There was no evidence that I was even there.

              I poked my head into the hall, and the empty quietness was scary.  I was afraid to turn on the light in case someone was still in the house, but there were no signs of them being there at the moment.

 

              “Octy,” I interrupted her, the idea that all her stuff was missing from her closet, and they still didn’t see her was bothering me.  How could they miss her?  “I’m sorry, but how did they not see you?”

              “Oh, that, well, my uncle cut a hole in the wall, a very small square hole, and he measured it so it could be a really tight squeeze even for me, and then he made like a secret little hiding room for me in there.  It was not very bit to tell the truth, but it was perfect for hiding in, and it had pillows, a blanket, and I brought a stuffed animal with me when I hid in there.”

              “But how did they not see the hole?”

              “Oh, my uncle made sure I had a board on myside and some kind of like slot thing to put it in, so when they tried to push on it, it felt like wall, and I had to lift it out and into the slot to make it work, so they thought it was just all closet.”

              “Wow!”

              She smiled shyly at me.

              After a few moments where she drank a little of her soda and I looked out at the clouds lazily floating across the sky, I started to hear her continue the tale.

 

              The kitchen and living room were all dark, so it seemed fine.  I thought I was out of the woods, so I turned on the light so I could see what there was to eat, and when I did, there was sudden knocking at the door, and they broke in again.  I wasn’t fast enough, and they grabbed me.

              I fought them tooth and nail, scratching, pulling hair, and biting arms and legs, but eventually, they held me so I couldn’t fight and just kept on me until I had no more energy left.  And I knew I had lost.

              That night, I took a ride to a scary looking office, still hungry because I hadn’t eaten anything yet, and I was very thirsty, too.  I was too scared to tell them though, so I couldn’t help from coughing a lot.

              They took me into an office, where a lady was on the phone with someone, and I felt my stomach growl.  I put my hands on my tummy, because it hurt from being hungry, and looking around the office, you could tell there was no food in there, so there was really no point in asking at that time.

              I’m really sorry, but I was so nervous, I was bad again.  I had an accident.

              “Young lady!” the lady that had been on the phone looked up to see me wetting my pants again.  “What do you think you are doing?”

              I shivered and cowered and tears came uncontrollably down my face, just like the water between my legs.

              “How old are you?”

              I shivered and cowered at her, not being able to get my chin to stop shivering from fright or get my tongue to speak from thirst.  I just looked at her, like a mouse in front of a cat knowing the mouse hole was too far away now.

              “Stand up,” the lady had suddenly softened and sighed.  “You can’t go to your new home like that.”

              “New home?”

              “Yes, sweetheart.  Your uncle was taken to jail to await the process to answer for his crimes, and you have no one to take you in, so you are going to stay with a foster family tonight.”

              I frowned.  “I don’t want to go.”

              The woman smiled softly and she bent down so she was eyelevel with me.  “No one likes to go to foster care, sweetheart.  But foster care is the best thing right now because your uncle is not able to be home to take care of you, and as far as we can tell, there is no one else that you are talking to.”

              “I have friends at school,” I said indignantly not liking that she assumed I was not loveable.

              “I didn’t mean friends, sweetheart.  I meant a grandma or another aunt or uncle to take you in.  Those are the only people that we can put you with temporarily who have not yet been put into the system.”

              “Oh.”

              “So, you can’t go in those wet clothes, little one.  By the looks of it, you’ve been wearing wet clothes for a while.”

              “What did you aspect,” I said looking up at her.  “The police took everything from my closet when I came out, so I had nothing to change into.  I had to hide all day.”

              The woman nodded at me.  “That’s understandable, but your bed was wet.”

              I frowned.  I had peed in it when I was startled awake, but I kind of didn’t trust this woman.  She was working for the bad guys that paid the police to raid my uncle, I think.  So, I didn’t say why I peed the bed.

              She took my hand, and though every part of me wanted to kick her, bite her, and try to get away, I somehow stilled myself knowing that it was against the law to attack a policeman, and I thought she was probably like a policeman.  I didn’t walk very fast though, and anyway, it was hard to walk fast.  I was itching and uncomfortable from being wet, I was hungry and thirsty, and I was too nervous of her to know what she was really going to do to me.

              She pulled at my arm some, and that hurt, too, but eventually, she got me to the bathroom, where she made me wait.  Then she stepped out for a long while, and so I started trying to drink water from the sink using my hands like a bowl, you know, like when you have nothing to hold the water in.  I got a few handfuls of water wetting my shirt as I did while she was out, but she came in and shook her head at me.

              “You couldn’t just tell me you were thirsty?” she asked me.

              I hung my head.  What was I supposed to think?  That a bad person cares if you are thirsty?  Uncle had prepared me for someone that might try to capture me and do something with me.  I was prepared not to be fed or have water, so I got some when it was chanced to me.

              The woman sighed and she squatted down and started to peel off my pants.  The stains on them told the story, of what positions and how many times they were peed into, and all I could do, was hold my head in shame.  If I had had any clothes in my bedroom, I would have changed the minute I had a chance.

             

              “She almost yelled at you for wetting your pants in the office, but she already knew you’d peed yourself a bunch of times?” I asked Octy.

              “I think?” Octy looked down blushing and a little uncertain.

              “I’m sorry, Octy.  I just got a little confused why one more accident would matter so much to someone.”

              “You and me, too,” October said blushing.  “I mean.  I sat in her office chair already wearing wet clothes.  And they didn’t even offer anything to eat at all, and I was starving, but it’s like she didn’t see nothing.”

              I shook my head.  “Well, it seems to me, that that woman was bad.”

              October looked up at me.

              “Look, I’ll deny everything if you ever tell anyone.  But….  Yeah, I wet my pants once or twice when I was eight.  My daddy didn’t let me wear the wet things long at all.  As soon as he saw, he made me change, and even helped me the first time it happened.  That’s just what you’re supposed to do with little kids when they wet, and you were like eight at time?”

              “Yeah,” Octy blushed.  “So, you did it before, when you were eight years old?”

              I blushed.  “Yeah.  Once when I was too scared to ask a substitute teacher to use the toilet, once when we were in the car too long, and once when I was so sad I wasn’t paying attention because it was right after mommy died, and I peed my pants.”

              Octy reached back to me, and hugged me.  “That last one doesn’t even count at all,” she said.  “And I’ll never tell anyone what you told me.  It’s hurtful to tell people stuff about other people that you know would make them hurt.”

              I nodded.  “So, the lady said you were going to a foster family?”

 

              So, the lady put me in a diaper in the bathroom and then a skirt, and then she put me in a different shirt.  She finally asked me about my wants after I was dressed in cleaner clothes.

              “So, you just pottied,” she told me.  “Are you hungry or anything?”

              I nodded.  I felt my face so burning in shame, it was still hard to talk.

              “We can stop and get you a snack on the way to meet your new foster parents, but they might have some dinner for you, so we’ll just get something small, okay?”

              I nodded.

              My stomach grumbled again, and before I knew it, we were off in the car again.  I was about to meet some people connected to this woman.  I wasn’t sure now, if she was paid by the people that were after my uncle, if she was a real policeman-like person, or if she was something entirely different.  I just knew it wasn’t safe to trust anyone right now, but I was hungry.

              After we had stopped for something at Seven Eleven, I think it was, we drove out to the people’s house.

              Their house was a lot nicer than my uncle’s place.  They had an upstairs you could tell from outside the house, and their walk was lined with red and yellow flowers.  The brown door on the front of their house had orange glass in four panels in it, but the glass was foggy and dense, so you couldn’t really see through it.  The door seemed like it was a sentry keeping me out of the clean environment.  Even that night, scared, tired, and still hungry and smelling bad, I knew somehow, that I was an unwanted pest about to intrude upon a sterile environment.

              I hid behind the lady and let her talk first.  She rang the doorbell, and was soon greeted by Mr. Gavins, a tall redheaded man with steely blue eyes.

              “Mr. Gavins?” the lady addressed the man.  I never did get the woman’s name, somehow.  I think she must have told me several times what her name was, and she probably dropped her name like twice in her conversation as she was dropping me off there, but I could never remember her name. 

              “Yes, that’s me,” the man nodded at us.  “…. So, is that the girl?” he had said a lot of stuff, some of which I just didn’t bother to listen for, but my ears caught when he started to talk properly about me.  “She doesn’t look thirteen to me.”

              “As I told Mrs. Gavins on the phone, she’s just turned eight recently.  We are still looking for a thirteen-year-old for you, but right now, this one has nowhere to go.”

              The man nodded and opened the door as he called out for the Mrs.

              “Honey!  You got it right!  They are trying to stick us with an eight-year-old child!”

              “Please, be nice,” I heard Mrs. Gavins come into the little entrance area from off to the right.  “We can look after her for some time.”

              He sighed.  “Well, we really don’t need an eight-year-old,” Mr. Gavins told her.

              “I know, babe, but she’s in need of a home, so let’s just play nice.”

              They were saying this in front of the policeman-like lady?  Why didn’t the woman take me away right then?  I still sometimes wonder how she could have left me with those people who really didn’t look like they wanted me in the first place.

 

              “Wait!  They were being mean from the very start, and that lady just left you with people like that?” I felt my temper rise inside me.  And they got Octy to believe she was bad.  Those people didn’t know anything about Octy yet!  And that woman didn’t seem to care enough to have done much looking into her either.  This was a load of a word that my daddy doesn’t like me saying.

              “Yeah,” Octy looked down.  “They wanted a teenager for a reason.  They already had three kids.  One was ten at the time, but she was still too little, really to do what they wanted the teenager for, and then there was a boy who was five and girl that was three.”

              “Okay, so what?  Did they want a babysitter or something?” I asked what should have been obvious to me, but I wanted to make sure I had it clearly understood.

              Octy nodded.

 

              “I’m so sorry,” the man suddenly became polite after his wife told him to be nice.  “It’s just we’ve been really wanting to help an older kid out of the system.  We heard that they are often not chosen because they are too old for most people, but we really wouldn’t mind having a teen.  As you can see, we already have younger kids.”

              The woman smiled at him, but I could only narrow my eyes at him.  Something was off about the way he threw a fit that I wasn’t thirteen or something.  I didn’t know what he had planned at the time for me, but I knew that he wanted a teen for whatever it was.

              Mrs. Gavins bent down and she took my hands.  “So, I’m told your name is October,” she raised her voice at the end like a question.

              I nodded.  “I’m called Octy.”  I had tried to be polite and answer her, but I was still nervous, scared, and suspicious of everything.  My voice didn’t want to go any higher though somehow, I felt it was a mistake not to speak up.

              “Well, Octy, it’s too bad your uncle was found to be a criminal, but at least you are safe now, right?”

              I looked up at her with a confusing and pouty indignant stare.  I didn’t like the way she called my uncle a criminal.  Even if he was arrested, I knew he didn’t do bad things, and as for being safe, I felt a lot safer around him than I did any of the people standing around me at the moment.

              “Well, never mind that,” the lady said appearing to read my violent vibes I was sending out that my uncle was a lot safer than anyone around here was.  “Let’s just get you settled in, shall we?”

              “Oh, you may need to feed her.  She was a little bit hungry on our way, so I got her a sandwich, but there’s no telling when she really ate last, and she had that sandwich down in two bites,” the woman told them.  “She also needs a bath.  She’s in a diaper right now, and it was just put on her less than an hour ago, so she shouldn’t be wet yet.”

              Mrs. Gavins nodded and took me off to the right, and into the kitchen area and lifted me up to the table to eat.  Then she went to the fridge and pulled out some stuff to start cooking.

              I guess Mr. Gavins finished with the lady because that was the last time I saw her.

 

              “I don’t like that lady,” I told Octy.  “She just made it sound like you just peed in diapers all day all the time.”

              “I know,” Octy nodded agreeing with me.  “I didn’t like her from the minute I saw her, but what was I going to say?  She got me when my pants were totally soaked from wetting a bunch of times, and then I peed in front of her.  I didn’t think saying I don’t do that would have went very well then.”

              I nodded.  “Maybe not.  But she still shouldn’t have said it like that.”

              “Well, like I said, I don’t know if she was even a real policeman-like thing or whatever.  I think she was actually trying to get rid of me so my uncle can’t find me.”

              I frowned.  “But real police took you from the house?”

              “Yeah, I think….”

              I shook my head.  “The lady seemed to be putting you with people though, and they fought about your age.  I don’t know how foster stuff works, but we should look that up when we get to Wyoming.”

              Octy nodded.  “I have to see if there is a way to find out what really happened to my uncle, and let him know I’m safe, and I’m not in the bad people’s hands anymore, unless you are somehow bad, and Vanessa tricked me.”

              “I promise, I’m not with bad people and my daddy’s job isn’t a secret at all.”

              Octy nodded.

              “Octy,” I saw her hands pushing on her pants.  “Do you gotta go potty?”

              It had been about three hours now, and I vaguely remembered going through a few small towns and stuff, but Octy’s telling of her story was sort of interesting the way she said it.  It was almost like a fairy-tale, and I really wished I didn’t know the end, and wanted the end to be happy, because this was definitely one of those stories right out of the classics, where you find the character suffering and in impossible situations, but in the finds happiness.

              “Kind of…,” she said butterfly opening and closing her legs.

              I leaned to the front.  “Daddy?  Can we stop soon?  It’s not just me.”

              Daddy smiled and looked back at me for a moment.  “You know I’d stop for you as soon as I can.  You don’t have to say it that way.”

              “I know, but it’s really Octy!  She’s about to pee her pants again, I think.”

              “You tell her that I’ll stop as soon as I can, but don’t be scared if she wets.  We’ll get her comfortable if she can’t wait, but if she can, then I’m stopping as soon as I can, okay?”

              I nodded.

----------------------

This is just the first part of her story.  I am still thinking about what she will say about the Gavins, so the next chapter, might be a little lighthearted stopping and maybe showing them spending the first night in a motel.

 

[Night Rain]

Makes me wonder if the child services lady really put any effort. Into finding a home for Octy or if she just pulled up the first family on a list and it turned out to be the Gavins.

[parkintochter]

Thank you for the new chapter! It was great as always.
Yeah the child service lady does seem very bad at her job. But sadly that's how many of them are.

I hope we soon find out more what happened to poor little Octie. She seems to have suffered a lot. I'm also curious how Vanessa found her.

[Ishigreensa]

On 4/12/2024 at 12:51 AM, Night Rain said:

Makes me wonder if the child services lady really put any effort. Into finding a home for Octy or if she just pulled up the first family on a list and it turned out to be the Gavins.

And that question may never be answered.  We shall see.

On 4/12/2024 at 3:17 AM, parkintochter said:

Thank you for the new chapter! It was great as always.
Yeah the child service lady does seem very bad at her job. But sadly that's how many of them are.

I hope we soon find out more what happened to poor little Octie. She seems to have suffered a lot. I'm also curious how Vanessa found her.

They maybe bad at their jobs, or the system may be so over-crowded, and they have a quotas and other pressures put on them, that they just give up and fall in line to the system's demands.  While I know for a fact there are a lot of people that have gotten lazy about their jobs in this field, I have to wonder what took their spark away, because most people that go into the field actually hoped to help kids in their own ways.

Not going to answer the Vanessa question right now (evil grin).  I'll let you wonder on that one.

[parkintochter]

7 minutes ago, Ishigreensa said:

Not going to answer the Vanessa question right now (evil grin).  I'll let you wonder on that one.

I would have been disappointed if you did 😀

[parkintochter]

I like this title way more. The old one didn't really catch on to me

[Night Rain]

I have a feel of how Vanessa came across Octy and took her in.

[parkintochter]

On 4/14/2024 at 6:21 AM, Night Rain said:

I have a feel of how Vanessa came across Octy and took her in.

what feel?