Another Foster (Private)

[justagirl4fun]

Rocky trailed behind Sarah and followed her to the kitchen. "These are small," she said hopefully as she found a box of strawberry snack cakes in the pantry.

"Okay, well, let me know if you do feel like throwing up," Alex said. He sat back and watched her play with her new toys. 

[Shy-Diapers]

“Okay you can have some, just don’t fill up before dinner.” Sarah reminded before heading to the living room to check on the rest of the family. “We should start thinking about dinner. What do you think both kids will eat?”

[justagirl4fun]

"It seems like this one will eat just about anything," Alex said, "but she was just complaining that her belly hurts. Maybe something bland that won't upset her stomach?"

Rocky finished her snack and wandered out to the living room. She frowned a little seeing Kaley with her big new Calico Critters house, with Alex sitting by keeping a protective eye on her. Without a word she grabbed the TV remote and found the streaming service that aired replays of the soccer games. After finding the game she wanted she cranked the volume and got settled in the big, overstuffed easy chair.

[Shy-Diapers]

Sarah nodded and headed to the kitchen. She decided to make some plain buttered pasta with chicken and peas. She figured it was bland enough for Kaley’s upset stomach, but nutritious and filling enough for both the girls. 
 

Kaley started investigating all the furniture and accessories that her house came with. She was painstakingly arranging each room exactly how she wanted. While she was in the middle of the kitchen, she covered her ears and pulled on her hair. The TV volume being much too loud for her. She started to bite her lip and rock back and forth in distress. 

[justagirl4fun]

"Rocky, turn it down!" Alex snapped, seeing Kaley in distress, but Rocky was too engrossed in the game to take notice of him. Not wanting things to escalate with Kaley he got up, snatched the remote from her hand, and turned it off.

That obviously got her attention. "Hey! I was watchin' that!" She jumped up, trying to get the remote back. "Give it back!"

"I said turn it down. You didn't listen, so now you don't get to watch.

"But I didn't hear you! Let me watch it. I'll be quiet. Please?" She begged, but he just put the remote up out of her reach. She tried climbing the bookcase to get it, but he grabbed her arm and pulled her down.

"That's enough," he said firmly, though he kept his voice low so as to not alarm Kaley. "Go to your room until dinner is ready." Deep down he knew he was overreacting, but he already felt so protective of Kaley and didn't want her to be distressed unnecessarily.

Rocky stomped up to her room and slammed the door. Then she noticed she still had the tablet in her room from earlier - she had the same streaming service app on the device, and soon found the game to continue watching.

[Shy-Diapers]

Sarah poked her head into the living room after she heard the commotion. “Everything okay?” She asked.

Once the TV was off, Kaley was able to start to calm down more. She stopped biting her lip and pulling her hair, though she still rocked back and forth and was hiding her head under her blanket again. She flinched and squeaked when she heard the door slam from upstairs. She was slowly getting less scared, though she was still struggling to regulate herself again. 

[justagirl4fun]

"Rocky had the TV too loud and Kaley didn't like it," Alex explained. "I told her to turn it down but she didn't listen." 

[Shy-Diapers]

Sarah nodded and sighed. She decided it was better to let everyone cool off and finish cooking dinner. She finished up in the kitchen and dished everything out for the four of them. Once that was ready she headed upstairs to retrieve Rocky. “Rocky, come on down for dinner.” She said in the doorway. She wasn’t sure how she felt about her daughter watching the game after she heard Alex tell her she couldn’t anymore, but decided to leave it alone. It wasn’t worth the fight.

When it came time to eat, Kaley still felt on edge but wasn’t going to pass up food when it was offered to her. She shuffled to the dining room and into her seat and started to eat how she had since she got there, quickly shoving food in her mouth as fast as she possibly could. 

[justagirl4fun]

Rocky looked up expecting to get scolded when Sarah opened the door and was relieved when she didn't say anything about her watching the game. "What are we having?" she asked as she followed her mother downstairs.

Alex sighed and shook his head as Kaley shoved the food in her mouth. Then he remembered her scarfing down her snack and promptly getting a stomachache. "Okay, Kaley, you need to slow down," he said as he reached for her plate. 

[Shy-Diapers]

“I made noodles with chicken and peas.” Sarah said as she headed downstairs and got Rocky her plate and some milk. 
 

“NO!” Kaley cried when Alex started reaching for her plate. She grabbed her plate with one of her hands, the other using her spoon to shovel noodles and peas into her mouth. She didn’t make eye contact, but she kept an eye on him, determined to keep him from taking her food away. 

[justagirl4fun]

"Kaley, you can't keep eating this quickly," he said in a calm but firm voice as he took the plate away. "It isn't safe. You could choke, and I think it's what makes your belly hurt.

Remembering dinner the night before, Rocky had grabbed her headphones before going downstairs. As soon as Kaley started yelling she put them on and carried on eating.

[Shy-Diapers]

“NO!” Kaley screamed. Just like the night before she started to stand up on her chair to reach for her plate. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. Kaley didn’t have a good sense of when she was hungry or not and she was also so used to having food taken away or just not around for days at a time. She never knew when she’d get more so she always felt the need to eat as much as she could at one time. 
 

Sarah glanced over at Rocky when the screaming started. She sighed with relief when she noticed the girl wearing her headphones. When taking her plate away didn’t work, Sarah decided to try to talk with the screaming girl. “Kaley, you’re going to make yourself sick.” She insisted. 
 

Finding that her food wouldn’t be returned to her, she leaned over to Sarah’s plate that was the closest in reach and grabbed a handful of pasta before Sarah picked her up. “Kaley you can’t keep doing this. You need to take a breath and calm down. ” She said in a stern voice, though she was trying to be gentle. She started to carry the now screaming and sobbing girl to the couch in an attempt to remove the food from Kaley’s sight. This only worked long enough to get halfway though, Kaley’s kicking and screaming making the task difficult, and when the girl resorted to biting Sarah, she was able to escape. 
 

Being free from Sarah’s grasp, Kaley bolted out of the room. She ran upstairs and into the first room she saw. Finding herself in the bathroom, she crawled into the empty bathtub, curling up and biting her hands and arms, big tears were pouring down her face, though the girl was silent now, being more distressed and scared than worried about her food at this moment. 

[justagirl4fun]

Alex sighed and went to the living room for Kaley's mouse and quilt before heading upstairs. He thoroughly checked the girl's room before finding her in the bathroom. "Kaley, we're not mad at you," he said soothingly as he got a warm washcloth to wipe her messy face and hands before offering her comfort items. "You can have your dinner, but you can't eat that fast. It isn't good because you could choke, and I think that's what makes your belly hurt," he explained gently, hoping it wasn't going in one ear and out the other. 

Although the headphones kept the noise to an acceptable volume Rocky still found the commotion concerning. It was especially upsetting to find herself alone at the table as both parents dealt with Kaley's outburst. She abandoned her mostly uneaten dinner and went to the playroom to sit in her swing in the dark.

[Shy-Diapers]

Kaley cowered when Alex came and found her. She was sure she was in big trouble this time. The second her mouse and quilt were offered to her, she quickly grabbed them and wrapped herself in her blanket. She listened to Alex intently, though clearly growing more and more frustrated. She understood what he was saying, but she couldn’t communicate with him. Kaley’s rocking increased and she started flapping her hands again before escalating to starting to hit her head. She was so frustrated and upset. She had words inside of her and she wanted to get them out but she just couldn’t. 
 

Seeing Alex run upstairs after Kaley, Sarah sighed. She was about to turn back and go to the table again, but soon saw Rocky run by. She sighed and made sure to rinse off her arm where Kaley bit her. Afterwards she headed to the playroom. After her eyes adjusted to the dark she could see where her daughter was. “Hey baby, what’s up?” She asked calmly. 

[justagirl4fun]

When Kaley started hitting herself Alex scooped her up, facing away from him, and held her in a bear hug with her arms down at her sides. He hoped the deep pressure would help her calm down, the way a weighted blanket or  stuffed animal helped Rocky. He wasn't sure what else to do, but he couldn't just stand there while she hurt herself so he held her until she either calmed down or tired herself out fighting.

"You left," Rocky said in a small voice from inside her swing. She was fine being alone when it was her choice, or at night when she knew her parents were right down the hall and she could go to them any time she wanted. Being left alone suddenly and without warning - even though Sarah and Alex had only gone in the next room - triggered something inside that she couldn't put into words. One of her therapists had once explained that trauma in infancy - in Rocky's case, the loss of her birth mother - actually rewired the brain, and changed the way a child reacted to certain things; and that was on top of the effects of substance exposure in utero. So sometimes she just reacted irrationally and couldn't understand or explain why.

[Shy-Diapers]

Kaley sobbed and thrashed when Alex held her. She was doing her best to get herself free but it wasn’t working. After a while she started to calm down. She stopped fighting and trying to free herself. The sobs and thrashing had dissolved to silent tears and rocking. She was so frustrated and hurt inside but had no way to tell anyone which just made it worse. “Sorry.” She said quietly after a long while. She felt bad and guilty but she didn’t know how else to express that. 
 

Sarah sat down next to the swing and opened her arms for her daughter. “I’m sorry baby.” She said softly. “We were trying to keep Kaley safe. I’m sorry we scared and hurt you sweetie.” She felt bad that Rocky seemed to be struggling so much with having Kaley there. “How about we go get that ice cream together by ourselves?” She offered. She wanted to make it up to her and figured Alex and Kaley wouldn’t be up to it. 

[justagirl4fun]

"Hey, it's okay," Alex said softly as he loosened his grip on the girl. "Kaley, I need you to listen to me, okay? You're never going to go hungry here. Any time you want something to eat, you can have it. But you can't keep eating so fast like that. It's dangerous. You could choke. And I think it makes your belly hurt. Sarah and I don't want to take your food away, but when you act like that we have to, so you don't get hurt. If you eat nice and slow, we won't have to take it away, okay? Do you understand?"

Rocky fell into Sarah's arms. "Really? Just you an' me?"

[Shy-Diapers]

Kaley frowned and listened to Alex silently. Still crying and rocking, she took a long while to respond. “Understand.” She she said sadly. She understood what he was saying, but she didn’t really know how to trust or believe him. She’d been there for only a little over 24 hours and she didn’t know how long anything would last. She looked down at her mouse and sadly fidgeted with its ears. She was still incredibly upset about not being able to communicate, though now it was mostly sadness and less frustration and anger. 
 

“Just you and me.” Sarah repeated with a smile. “And from now on if you feel left out or sad try to come to me or daddy and we’ll do our best to give you some extra attention. I know it’s a hard adjustment getting to used to having Kaley here.” She gave her daughter a big squeeze before they headed downstairs and to the car. 

[justagirl4fun]

"Good girl," Alex said as he grabbed a tissue from a box on the coffee table and wiped away her tears. "Would you like to go finish your dinner now?

Rocky nodded, though what she'd felt wasn't really sad, or left out. It felt bigger than that, but couldn't find the words to explain it. The promise of ice cream helped, though she was still quieter and clingier than usual.

[Shy-Diapers]

Kaley shook her head. She didn’t really fully internalize everything Alex had said to her. She still felt like she was bad and wrong for everything. She started sobbing again, so hurt and frustrated that she had no way to communicate what was in her head. She knew what she wanted to say but she just couldn’t and she didn’t understand why. 
 

Sarah drove Rocky to the local ice cream place and got her out of the car. She ordered herself a lemon soft serve cone and allowed Rocky to get anything she wanted. She sat down with her daughter at one of the benches and gave her a big hug. “Are you feeling any better honey?”

[justagirl4fun]

Alex sighed and let Kaley cry. At this point he didn't know what else to do.

Rocky nodded as she licked her cherry vanilla ice cream.

[Shy-Diapers]

Kaley cried for a while longer until she was out of tears and too tired to keep crying. After she was done she sniffled and rubbed her eyes. “Sorry.” She apologized again. After a little more time to collect herself more she looked up at Alex though still avoiding eye contact. “Cat?” She asked hesitantly. She wanted a distraction and was more than ready to immerse herself in her calico critters again. 
 

Sarah smiled and ruffled Rocky’s hair. She gave her another long hug before they headed home. 

[justagirl4fun]

"Don't be sorry," Alex said as he grabbed another tissue to wipe her nose. When she was ready he carried her back downstairs and set her down next to her Calico Critters house. He was watching her play when he heard the door open and his wife and daughter come in. "Where were you?" he asked, looking puzzled. 

[Shy-Diapers]

“I took Rocky out for the ice cream I had promised her. She needed some one on one time.” Sarah explained as she took her shoes back off and sat down. “Kaley seems to be doing better.” She said when she noticed the girl playing contently. 
 

Kaley finished arranging the kitchen she had been interrupted during earlier. When she went to decorate and arrange the bedrooms, she noticed the sticker sheets for the different walls and accessories. She didn’t have the precise skills to apply them and she knew that. She got up with the sheet and stood silently next to Alex. She didn’t really know how to ask for help, but she was feeling more trusting of him. 

[justagirl4fun]

"So, what, she gets a reward every time Kaley needs our attention?" Alex said crossly. "Sounds like a great habit to get started, especially after that attitude she pulled before dinner." He sighed and leaned forward with his head in his hands for a moment before sitting back up. "Kaley started hitting herself. I can't...I can't seem to reason with her, so I just held her in a bear hug until she calmed down. I didn't know what else to do. It seemed to work, and she calmed down, but then she started crying all over again. All I did was ask if she wanted to finish eating. But anyway, the pressure did seem to work for a bit so maybe we could let her try Rocky's weighted blanket and stuffed animal next time she has a meltdown," he suggested. The items weren't cheap, and he was reluctant to invest in them for Kaley not knowing if they would help her.

When they got home Rocky - who was in a much better mood - went to straight to the bathroom to wash her sticky hands and face, missing Alex's rant. When she was done she went to the living room and, seeing Kaley playing by herself, tried climbing up on her father's lap, only to be pushed aside when Kaley approached with the stickers. She rolled her eyes and walked away, accidentally bumping the house as she passed by - not hard enough to knock it over, just enough to cause the carefully-placed furniture to shift.