[Virtual Fiction Story Contest] The Kobold Spot

[FFU]

Contest post:

Short description:

An off-meta player of a wildly popular scifi-fantasy VRMMO joins an eccentric guild.

Story:

An anachronistically dressed band of misfits sat in the corner of a dark, metallic saloon. There was no bartender to be found. Harper wasn't sure if the guild hadn't paid the bartender, or if the AI service workers were going on strike again.

The aforementioned band sat in a semicircle around Harper, looking down at the tiny, pinkish, scrutey, knobby kobold. A greener player in that position would have been phased, but Harper was used to being towered over. Harper sighed at the impending drama.

"It's really not anything about you," the well-mannered, large man with a handlebar mustache offered, "It's simply the meta. Big heals aren't in right now." He was a tank and the leader of the guild, the Goon Squad 2.

"And we'll still keep in touch," the sly, lanky, whimsical magician added, trying to lighten the blow. He was a range DPS.

The leader confirmed. "Exactly. When the meta changes—"

"No need," Harper interrupted. Harper had known this day was coming since joining. The devs of Janthak: 2552 had made their vendetta against healers very clear since launch. After they had accidentally made dedicated healers viable, it took less than a month before they were back to trash-tier. "You guys were fun to play with and all, but I'm only looking for people that want to play bad stuff," Harper said, doing as good of a poker face as possible while only telling a half-truth.

"Okay," the leader responded slowly, still not understanding why Harper had joined their party in the first place.

Harper waved as coolly as a dorky little lizard wizard could, slowly wobbling out the door of the grungy guild hall slash seedy bar. Harper sighed, remembering how before the kobold joined, the guild had been in shambles. Harper had single-handedly—or clawedly, the kobold supposed—carried the guild from rank 89,494 to 5,043. Naturally, most of the guild members had attributed their meteoric rise to their individual improvement. The remaining members blamed their increased team-work.

But the truth was much simpler: Harper had never let anyone drop below 50% health on a raid; which was a failure, in Harper's mind, as the original goal had been 75%.

Harper had a long history of bizarre challenges. The kobold hadn't always been a kobold, after all, but had began 2552 as an orc, choosing the race for its funny appearance. The first guild Harper joined was made up of purely IRL acquaintances, led by Harper's best friend Toni. Most of the members simply admired the sights and sensations that 2552's full-sensory immersion provided, but a few actually enjoyed the gameplay. Harper started out in the former camp, merely learning enough about the game to keep up with Toni and the guild.

But after watching a few too many raid videos recommended by Toni, Harper's attitude changed. Once in a blue moon, a little lizard by the name of ronaTT would make an appearance. She was a minor 2552 celebrity, and she played as the objectively, statistically worst race and class in the game: the humble kobold healer. Kobolds had racial traits and abilities which amplified their total healing via spells; they also had a natural "light step" ability which made them excellent sneakers. But that was all they had. Other races even had similar abilities which overshadowed kobold builds, making them niche at best.

But Harper loved watching "Rona" run around the back-line, dodging attacks, making perfect syringe throws and spell casts, and generally playing in baffling yet absurdly effective positions.

And so, not much later, Harper changed races to kobold. It was disorienting, to say the least. Not only was Harper going from towering over most players to not-so-metaphorically biting their ankles, but kobolds were barely humanoid: claws instead of fingers; four knobby horns; a long maw with sharp teeth; a chubby tail; and that strangely soft, pseudo scruted skin. But Harper got used to it, trying to emulate Rona as closely as possible.

To someone that was neither an athlete nor a gamer, learning to aim in a fast-paced environment was hard; it was even harder to learn game-sense; but the hardest part was learning how to deal with negativity—which was all too common for someone who played a trash-tier race and class.

Suffice to say, the Goon Squad 2 was not the first guild Harper had been booted from, but it was certainly the worst one in recent memory. And being kicked hurt more than expected: for a brief moment, it almost seemed like the kobold was making friends; but then Harper realized that the GS2 only wanted a healer, not a friend. It was that subtle negativity that Harper still had a hard time dealing with.

Many times, Harper tried quitting 2552, but pulling away from it had become a Sisyphian effort. The game world was simply a second home, as vapid as it ultimately was.

Harper had succeeded in the primary goal of hard-carrying the guild, at least. The kobold would make sure to vindictively check the GS2's rank in a week just to revel in their mediocrity.

====

Back in the real, non-virtual world, Harper sat at a desk in ramshackle pajamas, browsing a 2552 forum for fellow no-lifers. Even for a veteran like Harper, it still took time to adjust to the transition between fun- and average-sized.

There were tons of ads for projectile DPS, the newest meta, but unsurprisingly none for a dedicated healer.

But just when Harper was about to give up, an ad appeared from the depths of the listings board on the twenty-third page. It was old, from just before the shift to the healing meta. "The PGP is looking for a kobold healing specialist," the ad read. Harper's heart nearly skipped a beat.

The ad might as well of said "The PGP is looking for a kobold named Harper." The PGP was a high-ranked off-meta guild, and so it made sense to Harper that they hadn't found anyone; there were very few high-ranked kobold healers. It also wasn't too strange that the ad was still up after the healing meta was over, the PGP being an off-meta guild.

They were a guild that could easily hit top ten if they only played the meta, but the members didn't find that fun.

Beyond Harper's race, class, and affinity for the off-meta, the PGP also held a special place in the healer's heart. It was Rona's guild, and it was Toni's last guild before quitting the game to focus on family.

====

"Yeah, I applied for the PGP. Didn't you join for a little bit?" Harper asked, staring past Toni at the bright parking lot out the window of the diner.

"The PGP?" Toni asked, munching on a cold, salty fry. "Yeah, they were..." he tried, before trailing off.

"Fun?" Harper asked.

"Weird. Definitely weird."

"How so?" Harper grabbed one of the fries, dipping it in a milkshake.

"I dunno. They wanted to do everything the hard way always for one."

"Sounds on brand."

"Yeah, I guess. But they were kinda weird about Rona."

Harper raised an eyebrow, continuing to sip on the milkshake.

"I dunno. It's kinda hard to explain. Like they'd always be cutting her off when she tried to say anything. Weird energy is all," Toni tried clarifying. "I guess just... like... watch out for them walking all over you."

"I know how to be assertive when I need to," Harper defended.

"Nah, I mean like get a high-vis jacket or something so they don't accidentally step on you," he bit another fry. "Because yur short."

Harper gave an eye roll. "Shut up."

"Why do you still play that game, anyway? Don't you ever get tired of that?"

"It's still fun, so whatever," Harper explained poorly, trying to hide the addiction.

====

Harper gave the odds of the PGP accepting the application at 50-50. The PGP were literal professionals, after all, and played for money. Even though Harper had the experience necessary, 2552 made that hard to prove. Harper was unreasonably high ranked at solo PVP given the race and class, but still couldn't climb higher than the 80th percentile. Guild-wise, Harper had a long history of hard carrying low ranked guilds, which did show on the leader boards. Still, each of the PGP's members were 95th percentile in solo PVP, and player rank was hard to extract from guild rank.

And so Harper was half surprised and half unsurprised when a message from the guild leader, Fr4nK3nSt3in, showed up. Most called her Fran. "Hello, we've seen your track record and we'd be interested in working with you. Let's meet in Neo Vega at the Dime O' Dozen. We'll bring you to our guild hall from there," it read.

And with little ado, Harper walked along the neon lit, smoggy streets of Neo Vega. It was a fitting place for a top-ranked guild, being paradoxically one of the most expensive and yet dystopian and grungy cities in the game. Harper supposed that people just liked to be edgy.

The Dime was a very obviously procedurally generated establishment, and the two eclectically dressed PGP members sat in a booth opposite the counter waiting. Harper was pleasantly surprised, as the little kobold was usually the early one.

The members noticed Harper instantly, and gave the little lizard a very thorough observation on the way. The female member closest to the wall had a neon green turtleneck and glowing makeup, while the other had broad shoulders and giant piercings covering his face.

As Harper was about to sit down, the two PGP'ers stood up. "Follow us," the broad shouldered one said.

Most kobolds would have struggled to keep up, but Harper had learned to run at walking speed.

"I'm Ham," the broad shouldered one said.

"Goldie," the other informed.

"Harper," the kobold returned.

"So how long have you been playing?" Goldie asked.

"Seven years," Harper said.

"Wow, a vet," Ham replied.

Harper nodded.

"Are you really only a healer?" Ham asked.

"I know life-steal and chemistry," Harper said a little defensively.

"So a real pure-healer," Goldie said, somewhere between enamored and condescending.

Harper felt a tinge embarrassed.

"We haven't had one since Ronie," Ham said strangely.

Harper couldn't make much of the statement.

The trio entered an impossibly tall building that shot way up above the dense, choking smog. They walked to the elevator at the back of the lobby, and Goldie scanned her finger.

Harper could feel a subtle anxiety building up, especially looking up at the cool and collected normal-sized people.

Finally, the elevator arrived at it's destination on the 215th floor. The setting sun shined through the windows, far above the dark clouds.

"So you must be Harpertron," said Fran as Harper exited the elevator. Fran had product-laden slicked-back hair and wore a white lab coat atop skinny khakis.

"Please, Harper is fine."

"How about... Harpy?" Fran offhandedly said, before continuing at full speed. "Anyway, I'm Fran. So, are you ready to show us what you got?"

"Wait, Harp—" Harper started, before catching the rest of the sentence. "Right now?" Harper asked, confused. It seemed too quick.

"Yep. No better way to see if you're legit."

"Uhm. Sure. I need to make some drugs though."

"Cool. Tell us when you're ready, and we'll explain on the way."

====

Harper was introduced to about half of PGP on the way to the dungeon. It was a brand new player operated experience sitting at about low high-tier, so it was a perfect litmus test.

The party was extremely lopsided, being only close-range fighters and a long range healer: just the way PGP liked it.

There was no hesitancy as Harper swung from loose cables, throwing syringes like darts into people's backs. Even in the high ranked dungeon, no one dropped below 40% health.

The boss was a slightly different story. Harper was forced to focus on life-stealing the cyborg zombie minions while the fighters focused on the roided-out gun-axe-arm giant mutant cyborg man in the center of the mad science lab. Occasionally, someone would need an injection, which the kobold was able to deliver with ease.

After the strange hairless mutant was slain, the party coalesced on Harper. Grins were present on their faces.

Harper was likewise having trouble holding back a goofy smile. Never had Harper even considered that joining the PGP was a possibility, let alone an option.

"I think someone passed their test," Fran said in a strange tone. But Harper barely paid attention, so overcome with joy.

A finger on the small the kobold's scrutey back quickly ended the stupor. Harper sprung up and away from the finger, breathless. But the finger didn't relent, still swirling in that mysterious spot.

The sensation was so foreign and electric that Harper took a few moments to catch a breath. "Stop!" Harper exclaimed, turning around.

The hand was Fran's. Fran simply smirked. "Ah, so you have it: the kobold spot."

Harper imperceptibly blushed, giving a confused frown. Everyone in the party laughed at the kobold's expense.

"W-what?" Harper asked.

"Omg, you don't know about the kobold spot?" a dopey guy in the party asked.

"No?" Harper worried.

"It's just a sensitive spot for kobolds. Some weird lore thing," Fran said. "Anyway, we're just teasing. No need to be so defensive. Let's head back to the guild hall."

"O-okay," Harper said, flustered.

====

"Harpy, we have a surprise for you," Fran said cryptically in the elevator, looking straight down at the confused kobold.

Harper was about to ask before the doors opened.

Everyone else in the guild hall greeted Harper with amused grins.

"Bring it out, Danny," Fran ordered her mate. A spindly man wearing clothes like Robin Hood hunched over and presented a trinket to the kobold.

It was a pink, thick band with a large-for-a-kobold round silver pendant. The pendant was engraved with two simple words: "PGP" on the top line, and "Harpy" on the bottom.

Harper didn't know what to say. The little kobold merely looked between everyone in astonishment. Harper had figured that getting in was a certainty, but it still struck a chord.

"Everyone, let's welcome our newest member, 'Harpy'!" Fran announced. "Let's put it on!"

Fran excitedly walked around Harper, grabbing the pendant from the kobold's claws. She pulled it up to Harper's neck and latched it on the back.

Harper took a few moments to stop gushing internally. It seemed, though, that something was still wrong. "Uhm, Fran, uh... my name is Harper, not Harpy."

"Ah, it's just a nickname. Look, we all have our nicknames on ours," Fran said, pulling back her sleeve to reveal her own pendant. It read "Fran."

"I don't really want a nickname, though," Harper complained.

"You'll get used to it," Fran dismissed, smiling then and shaking her head. "Anyway. Next order of business. Lets plan for the raid coming up."

Harper thought about "getting used to it" as Fran and the group continued their discussion. Harper figured that it was a small price to pay for being a member of the best off-meta guild in the game.

====

"How's Jo?" Harper asked Toni. They were at the Thai place across the street from the diner. Toni liked to mix up their biweekly hangouts.

"She's fine. Little Ger is really taking a toll on us both."

"Ger. What a—" Harper wanted to say stupid, but didn't want to insult Toni "...silly name."

"Well, German is kinda a mouthful," Toni shrugged.

"Is it?" Harper asked.

"For me it is, I guess."

"Is Harper a mouthful?" Harper asked, remembering the PGP's new nickname.

"Maybe for some people."

Harper took that into consideration. "I got in, by the way."

"Ah, no way, sweet," Toni congratulated. "Did you get the bracelet?"

Harper blushed. "It was too big to be a bracelet."

Toni laughed. "What? Show me, if you have a pic."

Harper begrudgingly brought up a picture.

Toni simpered madly. "It's a dog collar!"

"What?!" Harper screeched. "No it's not!"

"That's sooooo a dog collar," Toni mocked.

Harper looked at the picture of the little grinning kobold with the pink ribbon and silver pendant.

Harper couldn't unsee the collar.

====

It was demeaning, but hardly consequential when Harper was surrounded by motivated, skillful players that were constantly trying to push the boundaries of what was possible. Harper was even participating in some guild-on-guild PVP for money.

"We gotta take out that midget, they aren't dying," the enemy leader called out from the other side of the cyberpunk colosseum. The enemy guild was called Vespian.

What the leader said was true. While Vespian had high tier gear, it was useless in the hands of their mid tier tacticians and fighters. Either they had underestimated the PGP, or it was sadly the best they had.

In any case, Harper reveled in the infamy. The little kobold was starting to turn heads; there was even a post on the forums about "the second coming of ronaTT."

The boss's call was for not, however. One of the Vespians, a ninja-like build, managed to teleport to the backline, directly to Harper. Harper was quick to cast a life steal spell. The ninja swiped at Harper with a short blade, but the kobold was left with only a quickly healing scratch. Harper grabbed a dagger laced with poison the kobold had whipped up before the match, and dove through the legs of the ninja, making a large incision on his calf.

From there, the kobold ran and danced around any further attacks; the ninja had far more physical strength than Harper, so it was a battle of attrition.

The rest of the PGP didn't even look back to Harpy, using the opportunity to close in on the weakest fighter. They trusted their cute little kobold to win a 1v1 against a mere mid-tier ninja.

The ninja slowed, and eventually the scratches Harper received faded entirely, as if the ninja hadn't even been able to touch the kobold in the first place. "Bosss," the ninja slurred, the poison all at once setting in. "Bosss, I c-can't... do... it..." the ninja said, before gasping and falling on his knees.

Harper quickly finished him off, sticking the knife firmly in the back of his neck.

He fell over, dead, his body disintegrating into techno-dust, floating out of the arena.

The crowd cheered. Harper blushed as a few chants of "Harpy!" could even be heard amongst the noise. The little kobold had to take a moment to calm down. Never had Harper PVP'd in front of so many viewers.

The fight ended soon thereafter, the rest of the PGP making quick work of the outnumbered Vespian

Fran pulled her foil sword from the enemy tank as the PGP regrouped. The rest of the members were already unloading their praise onto Harper.

Suddenly, the announcer started speaking. "Wow! Exciting! The PGP comes out on top! Now, let's check out the play of the match! You know who it is, our favorite little lizard wizard, Haaaaaarpyyyyy!" he roared as the jumbotron recounted Harper's first blood. The crowd went wild as the knife struck the ninja's neck a second time.

"Good job there, Harpy," Fran said, going in for the kobold spot.

It didn't take Harper's breath away like the first time, but the kobold was still getting used to it. Harper hushed, letting it happen, not wanting to make a scene and ruin the moment like the previous times.

"I see you used the poison dagger tech Goldie told you about," Danny mentioned.

"Y-yeah," Harper stammered, still reeling from the strange and forbidden pleasures of the kobold spot.

"Well, lets go, then," Fran commanded, finally taking her finger away. Harper felt conflicted.

====

"Hey, Harpy," Fran asked. Harper was sitting on the couch in the luxurious guild hall, staring at a phone. Harper found chilling and browsing while surrounded by comrades was quite cozy, though it had been a very long time since it was possible for the kobold. The lower tiered guilds had much shittier accommodations, making the boring real world easily more comfortable; but the PGP was a heavy hitter, and could afford a penthouse in the pricey Neo Vega of all places.

Harper looked over at Fran. "What's up?"

"I was thinking... our match with Vespian looked great and all, but I think we could do better."

"What did I do wrong?" Harper worried.

"You did everything great. But your outfit is so bland, people are going to forget about you."

Harper was crestfallen. "I'm just doing it like Rona...."

"Exactly! People think you're a Ronie clone. But we can make you unique."

"Uhm... okay."

"Great!" Fran enthusiastically said. "I had Goldie whip you up something truly spectacular. I know you'll love it."

Harper followed Fran into the main office of the guild hall.

Waiting for them was a bunch of clothes that Harper could barely recognize. What was discernable was a pattern of white hearts on a light pink background with little pink Swiss crosses in the center. Harper frowned at the overly cutesy design.

"Well, are you going to try it on?"

"I don't... uhm...." Harper tried to reason.

"I'll help you, then," Fran said, smiling deviously.

Fran grabbed the first piece: a tight, pink dress with a large white top, and a wide slit at the back for Harper's short, chubby tail. Harper unenthusiastically complied in adorning it. Next came an apron, which had a pink gradient at the bottom and the aforementioned hearts with crosses. Finally came the hood: it was white with long, pink tails, and a hole on both sides for the most prominent horns. Fran made sure to pull Harper's pendant to the top.

Fran looked absolutely rabid at the sight of Harper. "Take a look!" she said, spinning the kobold to look at the mirror on the door.

Harper was horrified and humiliated. Fran had turned the kobold into some nurse-nun abomination: a nurne. "I—"

"Love it? Same," Fran steamrolled. "Now, let's get some more opinions."

"I-it's not my thing!" Harper exclaimed.

Fran didn't flinch. "You don't have a 'thing'," she snarked. "Yet," she amended. "Now, lets go get those opinions."

Blood was threatening to leak from Harper's cheeks. Harper merely looked down at the fancifully patterned carpet of the penthouse in shame as Fran paraded the kobold around like a child trying on their Christmas gifts.

Danny was the first to comment. "Fucking perfect," he said seriously.

"Oh. My. God. I'm a genius," Goldie said.

"Love it," Ham added.

Harper continued to blush profusely as more and more guild members threw in their two cents. The praise wasn't helping the matter; everyone was acting like the cutesy outfit was right where it belonged.

Fran noticed Harper's discomfort, and made a move towards the kobold spot. "Come on, it's great. Everyone loves it. You'll be instantly recognizable."

Harper gulped, going as stiff as a statue. The spot radiated with intoxicating venom. "I guess.... But...."

"And thank Goldie, already," Fran chided.

"Th-thank you, Goldie."

"So welcome," Goldie confirmed.

"I think you can make your new debut at our next PVP match. It's gonna be a big one," Fran plotted.

Harper gulped.

====

The match came and went. The opposing guild managed to take out two PGP members, which was a rare occurrence, but the PGP ultimately came out on top.

The whole time, Harper was looking for a reason to discard the costume. But much to Harper's chagrin, it had virtually no effect on the match; despite it's appearance, it was shockingly practical. It wasn't loose in the slightest, and the extraneous pieces on the headgear were meant to come off with ease if the opponent managed to grab on. To top it off, the skirt allowed Harper to conceal weapons better.

And to make matters even worse, the crowd fucking loved it. People cheered as the announcer said "Harpy," much like any other combatant; but when the kobold walked in to the arena, the crowd went berserk.

Harper didn't get any highlight reels, but was instead the fan favorite, sparking tons of discussion online. Even mainstream gaming outlets covered the brand change.

Suffice to say, Harper was having a rough time getting used to the attention. The silver lining was that the playerbase seemed to still respect the kobold's gameplay more than the costume.

"I like your costume. Sarah said she does, too," Toni told the healer over lunch. "I watched that kill on the ninja dude, by the way. Real cool stuff. You're really good."

Harper wanted to groan at the prospect of Toni's seven year old daughter liking the gimicky nurne costume. Instead, the healer said "Thanks...."

"You're really going all out. If you don't mind me asking, how much are you getting per win?"

"About two hundred. But we also sell credits. And I think Fran does some betting thing."

"Not bad," Toni said simply. "Fran. Jeez, she's still in the guild?"

"She runs it?" Harper half said, half asked.

"Wow. Well, I guess she is pretty cut-throat. Kinda weird though."

"Weird?"

"I don't remember much, just weird vibes."

"Like about Ronie—Rona?" Harper asked before making a correction.

"Yeah, maybe. But it was so long ago that I barely remember. I never really partied with her, so I didn't interact much."

"Well, she's the one who got me that costume made."

"Huh. Well, she can't be that bad," Toni shrugged.

"But it's just.... I don't know...."

"I think it's kinda awesome. It's instantly recognizable, and it really screams 'pure healer'," Toni reasoned.

"Yeah, I... I guess," Harper said, not feeling assertive. Maybe he's right. Maybe I'm just overreacting. It's just clothing. In a videogame, Harper wondered.

====

"Are you still on for the raid tomorrow?" Fran asked. The raid in question was in the early morning; the PGP wanted to be the first ones to clear the new dungeon. Fran had already placed bets.

Harper nodded, not looking away from the phone.

"Do you want to sleep in the game?"

Harper carefully considered the question. Sleeping in-game meant a faster time getting to the dungeon, as the login hoopla could be circumvented. Harper seldom did so: one, for lack of a proper reason, and two, for lack of comfort.

But the PGP was different: they could afford comfort, as was evidenced by the sofa that Harper was peacefully sinking in to. Harper nodded. "Sure."

Fran tried hard to hide her excitement, but couldn't.

The twilight faded outside the penthouse window, and as the party headed to bed, Harper asked about the arrangements.

"Here," Fran said, motioning to a bowl-shaped, fuzzy mat containing a pillow and folded blanket.

Harper frowned, Toni's dog collar comment resurfacing. "Uhm... is that... a dog bed?" the kobold asked, flustered.

"What?" Fran retorted, flabbergasted. "Of course not, it's a kobold bed."

"They... make those?"

Fran snaked a finger towards the kobold spot. "Yeah. Because you guys are so smol."

Harper shifted, unconsciously leaning back into the finger.

Fran relented, and Harper almost fell backwards. "Now, let's get to bed. Early rise, early shine or whatever they say."

"Okay," Harper murmured.

====

The bed was comfy, at least, and Harper woke up ready for the raid.

But the raid didn't go as planned. The party cleared the dungeon quickly; just not quick enough. Everyone was disheartened, especially Fran. But they also knew that off-meta had it's limits, even if the PGP often surpassed them.

It would take more than a single loss to break apart the guild, however. Off-meta players had the strongest mentals in the game.

The bed incident ate at Harper, however. The healer simply couldn't fathom such a thing as a "kobold bed" existing. On one particularly sleepless non-virtual night, something clicked.

Harper grabbed the phone and opened up the virtual shop page. Everything was searched from "kobold bed" to "small bed" to "lizard bed". Nothing resembling the one in the guild hall could be found.

Finally, Harper reached the dreaded query: "dog bed."

The results looked surprisingly promising. The first page had only items vaguely resembling the bed.

Similarly, the second page had no plain matches.

But then the third page came.

There it was: "Luxury Animal Bed 100 x 60".

The description was even more damning: "Perfect for all pets. Super comfortable."

The price was 115000 credits. At least the guild hadn't skimped out.

But the damning evidence kept coming in: Harper was able to find the same PGP collar in the animal section.

The healer tossed the phone away, cursing everything.

====

"They made you sleep on a dog bed?" Toni asked, incredulous.

"Yeah..." Harper confided, "I don't know what to do."

"Was it comfortable?"

"That's not the point!" Harper scoffed. "Fran lied! She called it a 'kobold bed'."

Toni sighed. "Sounds like you need to talk to her, I have no idea what's going through her head."

Harper sighed.

====

"Fran, can I talk to you?" Harper asked.

Two other guildmates were present as the kobold made the request, and they curiously looked over.

"Sure, what's up?" Fran asked sweetly.

"I-I mean, alone?" Harper amended.

"Okay. Let's go in the office."

As they entered the office, Fran sat on a black latex upholstered bench. "What's up?"

Harper debated sitting down. "I just think..." the kobold faltered, "I mean, I want to know why you lied about the bed?"

"Lied?" Fran asked innocently. She pursed her lips. "Why don't you sit down?" she said, padding the bench.

Harper hesitantly wobbled over. As the kobold started to scoot up, Fran reached under Harper's armpits and finished the job.

Harper blushed. "Don't do that...."

"Sorry. Anyway, the bed..." Fran wondered. "I wasn't lying. I was just joking."

"But you—" Harper scoffed, "You...."

"Hey now," Fran said, mischeviously putting her hand behind the kobold.

Harper hushed as Fran's finger hit the spot.

"I didn't mean anything by it. Promise. I thought you knew I was joking."

"I..." Harper attempted, but the feeling was too powerful.

"But it's not a big deal, right? You were comfy, weren't you?"

Harper squinted, pushing off the bench, away from the vixen's grasp.

"Whatever. Why did you give me a dog collar, then?" Harper accused.

"We all have them, Harpy-poo," Fran shook her head, smiling, pulling up her sleeve.

Much to Harper's dismay, the collar and the bracelet were truly identical.

"But...."

Fran reached around Harper, continuing her molestation. "It started when we were a new guild. The collars were cheap, and it's just become our thing. It's no biggie, right?"

Harper struggled under the power of the kobold spot. All the healer could do was nod.

"I'm sorry you felt that way. But I hope it's all cleared up. How about I make it up to you: tomorrow, we can go to the arena, and you can pwn some noobs and see all your fans. How does that sound?"

Harper, almost glassy-eyed, nodded a final time.

====

True to her word, Harper's party did indeed pwn all the noobs, which brightened the kobold's spirits.

Ultimately, Harper learned to live with the bed. The kobold wasn't sleeping in it all the time, and it was comfortable. More comfortable than the healer's non-virtual bed, in fact. It was tempting to indulge in the near perfect night's sleep it could provide. So tempting that Harper caved a few more times than the kobold would have liked to admit.

But with more time spent in virtual sleep came an incredibly embarrassing problem. The problem stemmed from the fact that the VR gear intercepted all the signals between brain and body. Naturally, that included the signals of the bladder, too. The "waste management" system as it had been called had an indicator that normally told the user that they needed to pee, but a sleeping person could easily ignore it; and a built in timer would release the bladder after four hours of continuous pain. That is to say, Harper started wetting the bed.

The forums had essentially two solutions: the first was to simply stop sleeping in VR if it was causing problems. The second was to wear diapers.

Harper made a choice, and it wasn't option one.

====

Harper sat in bed in the guild hall, scrolling through the forum. Harper wasn't planning on sleeping in the penthouse that night, but if it happened, the healer was prepared in the real world.

"Harpy, could you come over here?" Fran asked.

"Hm?" Harper responded, drowsily.

"I want to chat," Fran said cryptically. "Can you come over here?"

Harpy got up, trotting over to the leader. She was uncharacteristically wearing faded purple pajamas with her hair down. She patted the couch.

Harper crawled onto the couch without assistance. The kobold silently looked at Fran.

"So, we have a possible sponsorship deal, and they want to do a photoshoot," Fran said.

"Uhm. Okay," Harper said, confused.

"You're the centerpiece," Fran said, doing her usual kobold spot routine.

Harper instantly softened. "Okay."

Without warning, and with her finger still firmly pressed into Harper's back, Fran stuck a hand under Harper and lifted the kobold into her lap. "So that means we have to do a bunch of pics with some different costumes and stuff. I know how particular you are with that stuff. Are you in?"

Harpy, dazed by the stimulation and the unfathomable news, barely made a peep. "Ye...."

"I'm glad to hear that," Fran said softly, smiling.

====

The day of the photoshoot came, and it was just as nerve-racking as Harpy imagined it would be. Harper waited in the lobby of the game-world photo studio.

The front-desk attendant recognized the kobold instantly, but still had to ask for a name anyway.

"Harpy," the kobold had said with honest enthusiasm.

Never before had the healer been in such a professional environment; even though it was in the game, everyone was working. There were almost no AI in the studio, much to Harper's surprise.

When the photographer told Harper to hold the products and look excited, it was genuine. Not over the fake, digital replicas of whatever nonsense they were actually selling, but at having become a real, professional gamer.

"You made this happen," Fran had told Harper. "Everyone loves you."

The company wanted all kinds of outfits: formal dress, "nude", combat; but most of all they wanted the classic "Harpy nurne".

Harper was exhausted from all the emotions after the shoot ended, and was happy to be taken back to the guild hall. All the little kobold wanted to do was relax in bed and scroll.

But when they got back, Fran had other ideas. "Harpy, could you come with me?"

"Huh?"

Harper curiously followed the leader back to the main office, where she shut the door behind them.

Without hesitating, Fran went for her killer move.

Harper let it happen, as always.

"So," Fran hushed, "I was really hoping we could try on one more costume."

Harper gave a tilt of the head.

Fran lifted up the kobold without resistance, bringing Harper to the desk. Harper still bore the nurne costume from the shoot.

Fran pulled a curious item from her Hyperspace Bag of Holding. It was a small, rectangular, almost cloth-like item, adorned with cutesy designs. Fran then gently pushed Harper back into a laying position.

"What's going on..?" Harper asked slowly and quietly.

"Sh..." Fran said, putting her finger to the kobold's maw.

Harper didn't fight. Instead, the completely still, partially detached kobold watched Fran intently.

Harper was momentarily confused as Fran seemed to rip the rectangle in half. But then the healer realized what it was: a diaper, probably meant for NPC children.

Fran simpered as she raised up the kobold's tiny, fat legs, and stuck the diaper under. She dropped the little lizard's legs, pulling up the front, and awkwardly taping it.

Harper was shocked. The kobold had just been diapered by the guild leader, who, prior to that moment, the kobold had considered mostly normal.

Fran finally pulled out another item from her bag. Harper realized it was a pacifier when it was placed in the kobold's mouth.

Carefully, Fran picked Harper back up, properly carrying the kobold and using the spot. "Ah," Fran sighed contently.

They sat in silence as Fran bounced the little lizard.

And then Fran broke that silence. "I wanna tell you a secret," she whispered.

Harper blinked, swallowing, the pacifier not moving.

"I used to have an iguana in real life," Fran continued, "I thought he was the cutest thing in the world. Sometimes I would even dress him up in my doll clothes. I know it's weird, but..." she bit her lip. "It was soooo cute."

"But he died a long time ago," she paused. "Anyway, I found Janthak and I was happy to see kobolds. They're even cuter than iguanas, you know. Anyway, and then I met Ronie. Gosh, she was cute. Maybe even cuter than you," she smiled, "Just kidding. Anyway, Ronie and I were friends. But she didn't want to be cute. She thought I was weird. And then she left the game." Fran sighed.

"Maybe I am weird," she wondered out loud. "Sorry."

Fran went back to silence as she continued bouncing and cooing at her little lizard. She stopped using the spot, not seeing a need.

With newfound clarity, all Harper could think was, Toni was right. She's weird.

But the kobold could learn to live with it.

[YourFNF]

I'm not going to lie my reaction was basically "Oh, Honey" throughout the entire thing. I hope she gets out of this.... Sadly it'll probably get worse before it gets better...

[FFU]

14 hours ago, YourFNF said:

I'm not going to lie my reaction was basically "Oh, Honey" throughout the entire thing. I hope she gets out of this.... Sadly it'll probably get worse before it gets better...

Yeah, that's basically what I was going for, so I'm glad it came across alright. Thanks for the read!

[Shade_Koopa]

Heha, cute story. I've love to see a continuation of this story. ^^

[FFU]

21 hours ago, Shade_Koopa said:

Heha, cute story. I've love to see a continuation of this story. ^^

Thanks!

[PaddedWarriorPrince]

As a fantasy gamer and fan as well as a Streamer myself this is just so fun, the second hand embarrassment is almost physical.

[FFU]

9 hours ago, PaddedWarriorPrince said:

As a fantasy gamer and fan as well as a Streamer myself this is just so fun, the second hand embarrassment is almost physical.

Thank you. I took a lot of inspiration from my own experiences of playing games at high ranks.