Hyperphantasia and the Problems it Can Cause

[Tailie]

So, I've been thinking about this idea for a very, very long time. Maybe for the better part of a decade, but I didn't really have a name to put to it until this video: Why Some People Don't Have A "Mind's Eye" , and in it Joe talks about the idea of "Phantasia" and how some of us see the world and think; how we imagine things in our mind or don't (sort of, it's complicated).

And while it's super interesting and all, what I am the most interesting in is Hyperphantasia, the mind, and how it deals with fiction and stories. Why do I care?
For me I think I basically fall into the Hyper category for Phantasia, that is I can vividly imagine things in my mind and this goes doubly true for reading stories; in the YouTube video Joe described a woman and her experiences with it and she claimed that watching violent content is no problem, but reading a particularly gruesome or dark description in a story could go so far as to make her faint.

Now, for me, I don't ever recall fainting or screaming from reading a story, but they certainly can affect me on a psychological level. It's gotten so bad before that it's giving me realistic nightmares in my dreams, or just outright caused me depression. I once read that the mind has insane difficulty discerning the difference between fantasy and reality; that is to say that while on a conscious level you can rationalize that what you're witnessing is fake, the mind still experiences it as real. At least on some level.

For me this issue is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it helps me describe things in great detail for stories that I write, and a particularly good story can become all the more real in my mind and let me really enjoy it. Then there's the bad, and in this case, it's fairly awful. Agonizing even. If a character that I like gets into an unfair situation or has great conflict, strife or particularly dark and depressing things happening then all I can think about is will they be okay? This gets worse when I read unfinished stories, or ones that string you along. I've wasted so much time just thinking about characters and if they'll end up okay on the other side that I had to stop reading new stories that aren't finished.

I never thought that I would ever be opposed to reading forced babying and regression in my life, l but here we are; almost like this aspect of my mind has grown and evolved the older I get when before a simple tale about diapers was enough for me. The Diaper Dimension comes to mind in how awful humans are treated and, while I certainly get why someone would have kinks like that, it's become a mentally taxing phenomenon for me. I've actually out right asked authors before what they think their endings will be, kind of defeating the purpose of reading them and the joy an author may get from their audience commenting on their tale. Some were even kind enough to share things with me which helped, but somehow didn't help all that much; even when I knew a character would turn out okay, I still re-live these vivid visions in my mind, over and over. It's exhausting. ?

 

How do you all feel about this? Any thoughts?

[Brisemenu]

I can understand this. I'm also very sensitive to verbal suggestions.Seeing blood, even real one, is nothing for me but hearing stories of people loosing their blood make me pale and weak. 

I remember after reading the coimplete serie of "The new world" by E.L Haley, I was unable to have erections with a woman for some time. The good part is I'm also receptive to positive suggestions. 

We all have to be aware that there is a part of toxicomany in masochistic fantasies. 

[Tailie]

28 minutes ago, Brisemenu said:

I can understand this. I'm also very sensitive to verbal suggestions.Seeing blood, even real one, is nothing for me but hearing stories of people loosing their blood make me pale and weak. 

I remember after reading the coimplete serie of "The new world" by E.L Haley, I was unable to have erections with a woman for some time. The good part is I'm also receptive to positive suggestions. 

We all have to be aware that there is a part of toxicomany in masochistic fantasies. 

Do you have ways to cope? Like, I'll take anything right now.

[Brisemenu]

Maybe.

I'm not a native english speaker but I'll do my best to be clear.

First, for the toxicomanic part of masochism 

An alcoholic doesn't drink to get liver cancer, he drinks to relax and forget his problems. When you do something bad for yourself, you don't do it for the bad effects but for the good ones. That mean you don't regress to feel incompetent, helpless, dependant, immature etc, you regress to feel cute, loved, cherished, important for others and free to express your feelings. The more you understand what you really want, the more you can select the stories, roleplay, whatever, that give you the more satisfaction for the less negative side effects. You may be much more vulnerable than an average Joe, but keep in mind that in a certain way, reading things about coercition, humiliation, psychological violence and despair is toxic for everyone. Compensating by reading biiiig baaaad alpha male stories can help to compensate ?

Second, I don't know you but for what you say, you look mainly like an overempatic person. Maybe I take my case for a generality but I suppose that as a kid, your desires, needs and feelings didn't matter for your entourage, and therefore you took the habit to play the perfect little boy, hide your true self and focus on others feelings and needs. If that's the case, the solution is to learn to give yourself importance. Sorry but it's a long way to go. 

[Tailie]

15 hours ago, Brisemenu said:

Maybe.

I'm not a native english speaker but I'll do my best to be clear.

First, for the toxicomanic part of masochism 

An alcoholic doesn't drink to get liver cancer, he drinks to relax and forget his problems. When you do something bad for yourself, you don't do it for the bad effects but for the good ones. That mean you don't regress to feel incompetent, helpless, dependant, immature etc, you regress to feel cute, loved, cherished, important for others and free to express your feelings. The more you understand what you really want, the more you can select the stories, roleplay, whatever, that give you the more satisfaction for the less negative side effects. You may be much more vulnerable than an average Joe, but keep in mind that in a certain way, reading things about coercition, humiliation, psychological violence and despair is toxic for everyone. Compensating by reading biiiig baaaad alpha male stories can help to compensate ?

Second, I don't know you but for what you say, you look mainly like an overempatic person. Maybe I take my case for a generality but I suppose that as a kid, your desires, needs and feelings didn't matter for your entourage, and therefore you took the habit to play the perfect little boy, hide your true self and focus on others feelings and needs. If that's the case, the solution is to learn to give yourself importance. Sorry but it's a long way to go. 

What did you mean by that last bit, about my feelings not mattering?

[The Diapered Reader]

Well, you really motivated me to finally register here, after a long time of lurking around. (I'm just lazy...)

I think this is an interesting topic, I totally missed Joe Scotts video. I think I have a very vivid and chaotic "Mind's Eye". I can visualise a lot in my mind, but in some cases I have a hard time to find the right words for it or to verbally describe it. Hm, it is a lot easier if I made that mental Image myself. With faces I have a hard time to remember every detail.

Many many years ago I read a book that at the time scarred me a bit I think. One of the characters found a particular bad/gruesome ending. But at least the bad guy didn't escape his demise ?.  However I'm pretty sure the same would have happened if I had seen something similar in a TV show. So I probably don’t have Hyperphantasia.

But I can very much relate to this:

On 10/23/2021 at 3:23 AM, Tailie said:

For me this issue is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it helps me describe things in great detail for stories that I write, and a particularly good story can become all the more real in my mind and let me really enjoy it. Then there's the bad, and in this case, it's fairly awful. Agonizing even. If a character that I like gets into an unfair situation or has great conflict, strife or particularly dark and depressing things happening then all I can think about is will they be okay? This gets worse when I read unfinished stories, or ones that string you along. I've wasted so much time just thinking about characters and if they'll end up okay on the other side that I had to stop reading new stories that aren't finished.

For me reading is like a movie that rolls before my eyes. I too can get very emotionally attached to characters. Oh I can get really mad about the things that happen to them. Sometimes I have my own head canon and so on but usually I don't get too much stuck on that. But I think thats quite normal.

 

On 10/23/2021 at 3:23 AM, Tailie said:

I never thought that I would ever be opposed to reading forced babying and regression in my life, l but here we are; almost like this aspect of my mind has grown and evolved the older I get when before a simple tale about diapers was enough for me. The Diaper Dimension comes to mind in how awful humans are treated and, while I certainly get why someone would have kinks like that, it's become a mentally taxing phenomenon for me

I’m not much into the regression and humiliation stuff to begin with. There are expetions but the extreme cases are a hard pass for me. (Chances are pretty high that someone with my interest will be a bit taken aback at least a bit I guess. Pure DL stories that are on a more "wholesome" spectrum are super rare in my opinion.)

However at the start of my, hm journey into the "ABDL-World" I read almost everything. As long as the diaper content was decent I was happy. But today I'm much more picky and a bit frustrated to be honest. But it is what it is I try not to get too upset about it.

On 10/25/2021 at 7:24 PM, Brisemenu said:

You may be much more vulnerable than an average Joe, but keep in mind that in a certain way, reading things about coercition, humiliation, psychological violence and despair is toxic for everyone. Compensating by reading biiiig baaaad alpha male stories can help to compensate ?

 To be honest, I wasn't quite sure about that. But it makes sense.

One time I was so mad about a ABDL story that I made my own head canon but rip and tear style ?

I really like to read r/HFY

For me, you clearly should not read stuff that gives you so much trouble. I can't really say much to the deeper meaning behind your problem. If it is really that severe you probably should ask a professional.

 

[Brisemenu]

21 hours ago, Tailie said:

What did you mean by that last bit, about my feelings not mattering?

I mean maybe you grew up in a family where no one cares very much about your feelings and you took habit to play the perfect little boy, focus on others and hide your true self until you forget it.

[Tailie]

1 hour ago, Brisemenu said:

I mean maybe you grew up in a family where no one cares very much about your feelings and you took habit to play the perfect little boy, focus on others and hide your true self until you forget it.

You got half of it correct. Trust me, my folks and my brother cared very much for me and my feelings, but I always did try to be the good boy which got me made fun of a lot in class.

4 hours ago, The Diapered Reader said:

Well, you really motivated me to finally register here, after a long time of lurking around. (I'm just lazy...)

I think this is an interesting topic, I totally missed Joe Scotts video. I think I have a very vivid and chaotic "Mind's Eye". I can visualise a lot in my mind, but in some cases I have a hard time to find the right words for it or to verbally describe it. Hm, it is a lot easier if I made that mental Image myself. With faces I have a hard time to remember every detail.

Many many years ago I read a book that at the time scarred me a bit I think. One of the characters found a particular bad/gruesome ending. But at least the bad guy didn't escape his demise ?.  However I'm pretty sure the same would have happened if I had seen something similar in a TV show. So I probably don’t have Hyperphantasia.

But I can very much relate to this:

For me reading is like a movie that rolls before my eyes. I too can get very emotionally attached to characters. Oh I can get really mad about the things that happen to them. Sometimes I have my own head canon and so on but usually I don't get too much stuck on that. But I think thats quite normal.

 

I’m not much into the regression and humiliation stuff to begin with. There are expetions but the extreme cases are a hard pass for me. (Chances are pretty high that someone with my interest will be a bit taken aback at least a bit I guess. Pure DL stories that are on a more "wholesome" spectrum are super rare in my opinion.)

However at the start of my, hm journey into the "ABDL-World" I read almost everything. As long as the diaper content was decent I was happy. But today I'm much more picky and a bit frustrated to be honest. But it is what it is I try not to get too upset about it.

 To be honest, I wasn't quite sure about that. But it makes sense.

One time I was so mad about a ABDL story that I made my own head canon but rip and tear style ?

I really like to read r/HFY

For me, you clearly should not read stuff that gives you so much trouble. I can't really say much to the deeper meaning behind your problem. If it is really that severe you probably should ask a professional.

 

I'm happy I inspired you to join, lol. I've tried writing an alternative ending to a story that's not finished, yet. But it didn't feel right. For a bit, when I re-read what I had, it made me feel somewhat better, but I still had the annoying feeling in my mind because I knew it wasn't really the story. I can also relate to reading anything and everything. I did this for diaper stories and I also did this over on FImfiction.net (pony fanfiction). I read so much ,but now days I am far more picky for both genres. Do you, by chance, have a coping mechanism when a story gets you upset or angry? Such as writing a new ending?